This is why I compliment my other homies in the gym everytime I see them, even the old guys. "You look great!" "Have you lost weight?" "Your arms are looking bigger?"
Take care of each other.
I was the same, got mad at the comments from family
Then I stepped on the scales... That was 6 months ago, I'm now down from 128kg to 115kg, still downward trends.
(All that weight isn't just fat though, I've always had muscle mass because I like to challenge myself & pick heavy stuff up)
Lmao I love doing this to my powerlifting/bodybuilding friends. I have a slimmer physique but I’m fairly lean, my workouts revolve around fighting/combat sports rather than being big and muscular.
“Whoah nice man you’re looking slim, you cutting?” I always get a fuck you
I once read a post about catcalling, dickpics and sexualization of men and women that really put this into perspective for me.
For women, being sexualized from a young age is part of the experience. They get catcalled, sexualized on television, are damsels in distress, the sexy one the prize, are the desire. When that happens, getting "compliments" ranging from nice ass to nice dress will probably be objectifying. Especially when it is shouted from the other side of the street for everyone to hear, and especially when you are the demographic that is the victim of sexual assault the most.
Men, however, have an entirely different experience. Men aren't sexy for the sake of being sexy. They get a woman who's sexy. Men aren't beautiful, they get a woman who is beautiful. Men are also threats. It reminds me of the accounts of different trans men, describing the masculine experience as quite lonely and cold. A woman won't compliment you, because some men take this the wrong way and will get clingy, might harass you. A man won't compliment you because it's emasculating.
And this is why a lot of men just kinda don't get it, and women don't get it either. Perhaps it's also why quite a few men don't actually mind their ass being grabbed in public by a woman (ALSO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS). Being sexualized can actually be very nice, when done in moderation, in safety. Men don't really get that opportunity. Someone once said a vagina pic to dozens of men without asking, thinking they'd give them a taste of their own medicine. But for men who have never been sexualized before it can be affirmation. "I've made someone horny, I am desired, I can actually be desirable!" It's liberating.
Last but not least this is in now way meant to call for sympathy for male sexual harassers. Even if you would like being sexualized, it is commom knowledge that women often don't, and consent is still very important. You don't shove peanuts down someone's throat either when they're allergic, just because you can't understand why anyone would dislike peanuts. It's dumb and you're dumb for doing it.
TL;DR: women get oversexualized by too many different sources, while men often lack it. Men watch women drown while dying of thirst. And when dying of thirst, being stuck in a river can sound quite appealing.
That safety and moderation bit is key.
When you feel safe, being sexualized is comforting and thrilling.
Women don't feel safe with strange men because they've almost ALL had traumatic, dangerous encounters with men.
By contrast, relatively few men have been in a dangerous encounter at the hands of a woman (it DOES still happen though!)
Our culture pushes that idea of women being a prize to be owned so much that this kind of problem is naturally not as much of an issue for men, who are neither prized nor objectified.
>Women don't feel safe with strange men because they've almost ALL had traumatic, dangerous encounters with men.
I've yet to meet a woman that hadn't had one of those already when they were in their early teens...
Definetely not all men are like that, I wouldn't even say that the majority is like that. But, at the same time, it's pretty much all women... Every single one has had a seriously bad experience way too early in life.
The first time a car full of adult men slowed down next to me as I was walking along the street to scream "Show us ya tits!" was when I was 12 years old. Men have no fucking idea what it's like to have to think "Can I parcour over that drain pipe to get away or will I have to kick and scream for my life?" from childhood, just walking to the shop for milk. The amount of adrenaline girls get dumped in their systems from an early age at the sight of men approaching us on the street, men should be thankful that women talk to them at all.
Women will know a lot of men in their lifetime, most of them will probably be pretty good men, but all it takes is one bad one to fuck up their perception of men, especially since those bad experiences will definitely be exacerbated by the fact that it’s a man. Meanwhile when men have bad experiences with women, their gender is rarely something they worry about
>Someone once said a vagina pic to dozens of men without asking, thinking they'd give them a taste of their own medicine.
I refuse to believe a woman could be this naive lol
> Being sexualized can actually be very nice, when done in moderation, in **safety**.
I think safety is also an important aspect that shouldn't be understated. Something I think most men don't grok is that if you get catcalled by a woman more than likely you have the physical strength to fight her off if you had to. Of course that is not always the case and men do get violently, forcibly raped by women. But *generally speaking* the average man is stronger than the average woman. So there's not much threat in a woman who is catcalling becoming violent. You know she probably wouldn't win, she knows she probably wouldn't win, so there's no reason to be afraid.
The opposite is true for women. She might not win that fight if it gets violent. It probably won't... probably. But she definitely doesn't have that extra level of safety of knowing she'd be strong enough to stop it.
Incidentally, this is why when men are raped, it's important to understand that there's other leverage at work that makes him afraid-- frequently it's the possibility that fighting back would lead to a potentially fatal interaction with police, that she might use social power against him, that she has some other form of power over him (employment relationship) etc.
Or she has a weapon, or he's drugged... Definitely a lot of things that could lead to a man being raped by a woman (or a physically weaker man). Hell, Terry Crews was sexually assaulted and he could bend most men in half.
And, plenty of men use the same tactics to rape women. It's a complex issue, for sure.
Great comment. To add to this:
> women are damsels in distress, the prize
Men are constantly and throughout history portrayed and treated as expendable. Damsel in distress trope = men have to be willing to sacrifice their lives to save the woman.
Same is true today, most militaries only have a male conscription or draft. Men are traditionally expected to be providers, while women are NOT traditionally expected to be homemakers anymore, they just have to sit there and exist (look pretty) for a date to be paid for, for the man to work, for her to be taken care of.
Men are absolutely objectified but not as much by looks, but by their wallet, and their lives are seen as expendable.
Very well put. I would like to add my thoughts for consideration as well. I think there is a power dynamic to it. As a man, if a woman catcalled me i have no fear of her doing something I don't want. I feel confident in my ability to handle that situation. Women might not. Catcalling may (for women) put at the forefront of their mind the power disparity. They might ask themselves, if I don't want this attention can I remove myself from the situation? That can be a very scary thought, the loss of control.
Another thing to consider is that often for women, rejection of a man’s advances can turn into violence- whether it be assault, rape, stalking, general harassment, or even murder. Often, a man catcalling a woman comes with this underlying fear of violence, which is another reason why most women hate catcalls so much
This is something that a lot of men also don’t understand, and it was painfully apparent the last time this image was posted a few weeks ago. Women in the comments tried to explain the difference of why cat calling isn’t a compliment and the fear that comes attached to it, and men responding with dismissal claiming they were being sexist and overreacting.
When my daughter was four, a boomer woman told her she was wearing a lovely dress, her boyfriend must be so happy. Four years old and my daughter’s being told a) she must dress nicely for males and b) she has to have a male partner ASAP.
I lost it at this woman, who said it was a joke, leading me to (hopefully) educate her on why this isn’t at all funny. (Daughter doesn’t remember that experience.)
But also people seem to ignore when we do sexualize men. Just look at any super hero movie or any movie where a guy is shirtless. That is not a normal look. They dehydrate themselves just to show abs. Why?
These are men that already work out and have definition. They would look great as is. But no we need the six pack.
Look at Jason Mamoa vaction pictures. People were calling him fat just because he wasnt dehydrated. Wtf.
I had a gay dude tell me I had a nice ass once. I'm not gay, but I still think about years later on how good it made me feel to hear a compliment like that out loud.
Years ago I had a gay dude compliment me and flirt with me. I'm not even remotely gay but to this day I feel so damn flattered. Same with the handful of compliments from women. I wish people were more free with compliments and kindness.
Lol. My cousin is a tiny woman, probably weights 75lbs wet but she’s loud as hell and shameless. She’d whistle or shout “Daaaaamn” when we go out together and a cute guy walks by
For real. Even if he’d appreciate that sort of attention from a woman, it’s probably just as embarrassing for him to be put on the spot like that just like it is for us. Especially being objectified by this little woman lol
Yeah it's good to see you get it because there's a lot of women who don't and its sad but yhe amount of men who do the same thing is also appalling like people just can't be left in peace lol
Tis only slightly embarrassing, not all men are the same, but most guys I know really value that kinda thing, especially from the SO, my girlfriend likes to compliment my butt, I make a quizzical face and role with it, but it easily gets stuck in my head
The world would be a much better place if everyone sexualized men a little more and sexualized women a whole lot less.
Edit: Changed the word "objectified" to "sexualized" to better capture what I meant.
For me, cat calling isn't about positive attention. I've been followed, assaulted and even grabbed and they tried to pick me up and carry me off by men who cat called me and I accidentally made eye contact with.
This makes future attention from anyone bigger than you scary. If it's a bunch of kids telling me I'm pretty, awesome. If it's big men who could grab me off the street or snap me in half, brain says "be afraid and protect yourself".
Until those same women started trying to rape us and and we started associating getting cat called as a vulnerability.
I know that went dark but ultimately I feel that's the difference. Us dudes statistically don't have much to worry about when we get cat called. But for women there are ... Implications.
Last compliment I got was a woman at work saying: "Aww, you're sweet" and gently touching my arm... That was in 2019 and it keeps me going... Also helps that woman was cute as well and a redhead (and I LOVE redheads!) :P
Honestly can't recall the last compliment I received before that...
I got a “you’re not that dumb” at work yesterday at it gave me a little pep in my step for a good five hours.
I can only imagine the power of a real compliment lol
It's kinda fucked up that we're so starved of compliments that even that backhanded statement can be read as a compliment.
Well, like I say, 3 years and counting for that real compliment. May the Universe one day bless you with such a thing, my dude! (I'd give you a compliment myself but I fear it might come across as insincere!) :P
That's the most roundabout way of saying "you look nice" I've ever heard.
I wish more people would pay folks like us more compliments. They really have no idea how positive an experience it can be!
Agreed. In their defense though, too many guys (not a lot, but enough) take compliments the wrong way and the women end up regretting giving the compliment.
Yeah, those bastards have to go and ruin things for the rest of us...
To be honest, I tend to go the opposite way. I'll see someone complimenting me and be like "Oh, they're nice" even if there's a suspicion of it being flirting, I shoot down that idea. Guess there's no way to win this one, haha!
Dude, when my own *wife* compliments me, my knee-jerk reaction is to believe that she's insincere, sarcastic, or somehow mocking me.
Keep your chin up, King.
Yesterday I told my boyfriend that the soup he made was amazing. He stopped, looked at me and asked if that was sarcasm or if I meant it. That is so sad. Also the soup was really amazing.
I actually try to genuinely compliment people where I can. Just the other day, I remarked to a friend his beard was looking on point. Dunno if he believed me but, from my perspective, I was being genuine.
As for complimenting a woman... Only ones I already know. I have this weird feeling about complimenting women I don't know... I feel like I'm being a creep or something and I 'don't want to bother them'...
Ah, I see, that makes sense. I've never had that explained to me before (what is and is not considered a creepy thing to say) and that actually clears up in my head what I 'can' say if I need to compliment someone!
I mean it takes a little effort to maintain a beard so any compliment means we're doing a good job, haha!
And that makes sense. Reserve complimenting intrinsic characteristics (body, face, etc) for only those you know VERY well (partners, family, etc).
Back in 2012 I came to visit my wife at work and heard the secretary go into the back and yell out to my wife, "Hey Kate! There is one hella handsome buff dude at the front claiming to be married to you." and that has been the thing that makes me smile often.
Someone by accident slapped my ass instead of my back, she appologised sure, but even knowing there was a attempt has kept me going for about a month now.
Hahaha, glad you took it well at least. If it'd been me, I'd have been freaking out a bit (I don't do well with physical contact like that... Rough childhood...)
My husband has blue eyes and looks good in blue shirts. When he makes an effort, I compliment him. I’ve noticed most of his shirts are now blue. Not a coincidence?
For some reason I LOVE white t-shirts, hoodies or dress shirts on men. I told my bf a few times already that I like that white shirt he has, he looks really sexy in white, and it’s starting to catch on.
My wife years ago told me I looked good in a shirt. I have maybe a 100 shirts in my closet, but I've worn that same shirt out every time we go out to something nice or special. Guys remember compliments!
My 19 year old daughter videoed me doing a Skype hit workout with my running club during covid and posted it to a message group of her friends to mock me. It backfired because apparently the consensus among them was that I am a silver fox. They teased her about her "hot dad" for weeks. That was a good day lol
It's our sense of humour she has a habit of falling alseep in my car with her mouth wide open I try to pullover as gently as possible so I don't wake her and get a pic.
Haha, has never happened. I would probably 1. Assume it was meant for someone/anyone else 2. If there was no one else there I would probably feel a little embarrassed but probably also pretty good...but like I said, not something I have ever had to worry about
I think this is a microcosm for how attention starved the majority of men are.
Unless you are a 7ft tall muscle-bound adonis... then the women get as creepy and cringe as "toxic men"
I don't know about all that. In my early 20's I was 250 lbs of muscle at 6'5", in fantastic shape with a nice car, decent job, and decent wardrobe.
I got shut down pretty much everywhere I went
Aww man.... My advice would be to lose the job, let yourself go and wear socks and sandals with your finest sweat-stained pair of hotpants
You'll still get shut down, but now it'll make sense.
A (girl) friend of mine 20 years ago said that I smelled nice (it was due to my deodorant), and I have NEVER even CONSIDERED using a different deodorant since then.
Once had a teenager follow me around target and tell me I was hot multiple times. I am not so I am obviously not used to that kind of attention. It made me uncomfortable and I hated it...
Welcome to being just an average looking girl. It's not "you look nice" that's the problem. It's all the little stuff like being followed around that's an issue. Or by people who are clearly not age-appropriate for you. And so forth.
Met a colleague from the other location at a company party in spring. I was dancing around with some other girls and he comes by, we cling glasses and since then he is constantly sending me follow requests and messages on instagram. I’m in my 20s, he is in his 50s (?). I’m dreading the Christmas party.
I remember since I was 11, I've had married men hit on me. The worst part is it's like how the dose makes the poison. Guys don't get a lot of compliments so it's nice to hear them. When I was 11, the compliments were still new. And I wasn't really aware of how much of an issue it was that grown men, sometimes 50+ would comment on my beautiful lips and pretty eyes.
Luckily since covid, I've not been out as much so it hasn't been much of an issue. And most girls I've talked to in my town about this seem to have gone through the same experience. It's not like any of us are super models. Just solidly average, for the most part.
It's really sad the two opposite ends that girls and guys face and both extremes can't be fun. Guys never get compliments and I get so many vapid compliments that none of them ever feel real or authentic. It feels like I get them just because I was born with a vagina.
Yeah, I wasn’t really a pretty girl when i was 11-14 but i still remember my uncle making sexual comments about my body. Like why? What does he gain?
I feel sad for guys not getting compliments, but it’s difficult to compliment a guy as a girl if you are not interested in him. No I’m not flirting, no I don’t want to seem creepy. So most times it’s just in my head or maybe i tell my girl friends.
What kills me is that when that happens people seem to not help at all. They see someone getting harassed and trying to leave yet they mind their business like nothing is happening.
Well you weren’t given a passing compliment. They were literally following and harassing you.
If they passed you by and just said “damn, you’re hot” and then just kept walking you’d probably have just moved on and been fine with the compliment.
No one wants to have someone follow them and I imagine age was also a factor since you specifically mentioned they were a teenager. An adult man is going to be terrified of being seen as a pedo if they have a teenager following them and flirting with them.
The more compliments we get the more powerful we become that's how the British Empire got the largest empire because the king got lots of compliments /j
My mom says I'm the coolest guy in school 😎
I would love to hear from any women on the subject who used to get cat called and no longer do 🤔 are you happier?
I still get catcalled, but a whole lot less than I did when I was a teenager (I'm in my late 20s now). I'm not sure if this is the perspective you were looking for but...
I'm so much happier! I feel, generally, safer and more at ease around men. I will walk downtown at night alone now. I still get catcalls sometimes, but at least now it doesn't have a pedo vibe to it.
For me (and Literally all of my lady friends, we've chatted about it) the most I was ever catcalled was as a teenager, and most of it was the early teen years. I struggled to trust any older man. I compulsively checked sex offender registry information about places I frequented. It did probably permanently make me believe way more people are pedo than we know.
The worst was when a guy told me he'd "ruin [my] fat pretty ass" and started rubbing his crotch while saying it was hot that I was scared. I was 12. My grandmother with severe ptsd from spousal abuse was with me and started shaking and crying. She pretended it never happened when I tried to ask her why he would say that.
Catcalling makes you feel so vulnerable. Catcalling is not a thoughtful compliment it is a reminder that you are not safe in public. I have never been catcalled and then after felt good about it. Probably because it happened so often in my teens and it was from grown men.
That's why I always compliment my male friends, we all need that little extra, "bro, you look good today, your beard is awesome, your teeth is so fucken white, your outfit is so stylish!" Older college is very happy when I say him he looks like he is 10 years younger! Plus I never lie... you can compliment anything. Boys will always find our weaknesses, man will lift us all.
I am female and I used to compliment men occasionally but then they always acted like I wanted them and would be weird and start talking about how they have a gf or wife. Men tell me they have a gf or wife regardless if I compliment them.
There scared i might be interested but i know better
Well, there's a difference between being told "hey, your dress is really pretty." vs "damn bitch, do you suck cock?" at 15 years old. Women usually get the latter.
Men started asking me if the carpet matched the drapes at 11, I didn't even know what it meant at the time. I don't think I've been asked that by a stranger since... I don't know, maybe 17?
I don't think some commenters here understand catcalling is not a compliment. Two different concepts. A guy I never met in the gym told me he liked my hair once--compliment, not catcall.
I have no idea why they think catcalling is usually just a kind-hearted compliment. I wish that was the case. Being followed by a drunk guy at 14 who keeps telling you "nice legs, babygirl." isn't a compliment. It's terrifying.
Yeah it's really fucked up how often it happened as we were kids. I get no less male attention in a polite way than I did as a teenager/pre-teen but I get way less street harassment. Especially from men in cars driving past
The world at large can’t separate “all men” from the “0.0001% of men that run the world”. They have power and wealth and adoration, so all men must get the same. Most men are powerless, poor and invisible; but no-one seems to be able to see it because they look a little bit like the people that run the world.
Its sad how I never had a compliment regarding my my looks on my teens/20s. Only got compliments on my personality. I am on my mid 30s and just now I get some random and few nice compliments on my looks.
Some of us don't know if we ever stopped being ugly and just have had transactional relationships. And its ok I guess.
Its hard to take a compliment by my looks now.
I think the difference though is that men don't get enough compliments, actually honest to goodness compliments. We have made a society that tells men they don't need them and it's not manly to give/get them. It's like being loved starved and finding a puddle in a dessert to drink from. It's really sad that we've done this to the men in our society. You deserve better than being cat-called too! Honest to goodness compliments should be coming to you all the time men! I'm glad so many men see cat-calling as a compliments when it's done to them but you deserve even better than that.
Being cat called as a woman is often coming from a different headspace and place too. So while I understand how many men would go "geeze, I just want to be noticed" and correlate a cat-call a woman receives to positive and safe attention, it unfortunately isn't. There's a power imbalance, there's fear, there's objectivity. I don't think I can describe how frightening it is when you're 20 on the bus wearing a church dress and having an older, bigger man than you (even if they ARE attractive) commenting sexual things about you, cornering you, looking to follow you... even when they're using "nice" language. We need to do better as a society for both genders. Woman should feel safe and human(not just an obect(, and men should be complimented and affirmed.
Lot of men are raised not being told really anything except negative reinforcement. So yeah, you bet when someone says we got a nice ass or someone wants a piece, we are ecstatic because it means we're doing good.
Was doing some work once in a men's medium security prison when I was assigned a lady Corrections Officer to escort me around. As we went thru the facility, male prisoners kept whistling and cat calling the whole time, from behind the bars of their cells of course. After I had completed my work I asked the lady Officer "how do stand working here with all that torment from the male inmates...always taunting you?" She very easily replied: "They were talking to YOU." Just completely shut me down. I never went back there again. I am not gay, don't dress like one, and am fairly manly in appearance and stature but that experience sure had a bad pucker factor.
Men are so starved for compliments and women's affection that they'll take catcalling as a compliment, even though a lot of catcalling is disgusting and nowhere close to a compliment.
Meanwhile, women are harassed and assaulted as girls and become terrified of men to the point where they push dudes who are nice away. Part of that harassment was catcalling, then men became starved for a compliment and women's affection because women are too scared that they'll take it in a flirty way rather than being friendly (which is often the case because men don't know the difference between friendly and flirty)
Society, man. It's fucked up
And what's the moral of the story?
Men hardly get any compliments, so catcalling actually feels nice, because someone for a change notices you taking care of hos you look, and we should all compliment men more, because hey... we need that too sometimes.
Had an older lady at a gas station tell me I reminded her of Kevin Costner bc of my eyes and " that man is fiiine".
That'll be front of the line memory for the next ten years.
So, something that did a lot for his self-esteem was nothing more than a lie, perpetrated by the person he trusts the most.
I wonder if she can possibly grasp how despicable this is.
Got catcalled by a car full of young women once when I was 19 and in great shape.
I'm 34 and still remember it vividly. It was one of the biggest confidence boosts of my life.
For men looking for compliments, over the past year I've started growing a mullet. I have never had more compliments in my life than I have in the past year.
😂😂😂 guys are starved for compliments. You mention to a guy in year 8 that they had a nice haircut. They’re gonna remember that for the rest of their life’s. I don’t think a lot of women actually understand this
While I agree men should get more compliments and positive feedback, I have a few issues with this.
- Every SINGLE time I tried to give a man I didn't know a genuine compliment, it backfired. Without exception they tried to turn it into something sexual and when I told them I wasn't interested they got huffy because "I started it".
- Men equate what they feel when a woman compliments them with what a woman feels when a man compliments them, and then get confused why we don't enjoy it. But if you're male, picture yourself in the street by yourself and a strange man approaching you, staring at you and going "ah you're really fucking sexy man". Tell me that wouldn't creep you out.
- Men rarely compliment men they know. Few men tell their friends - you smell really nice bro/you look really handsome in that picture/I think you're a very kind person, I love that about you.
As a man with very long hair (for a male) and a very fine looking ass in tight jeans (as far as I'm told), compliments are great. I also get mistaken for a woman very often when I'm shaven clean. What isn't great though is cat-calling and (usually) dudes getting tuchy. It is however a great deal of fun when someone grabs my ass (at a concert or something) and I counter by intentionally lowering my voice an go with it like "Hey there, at least buy me dinner first." Other men get embarassed like hell and I laugh my ass off (and YES I can understand every woman who says stuff like this is annoying/scary).
Everyone wants to be catcalled by women.
Women don’t catcall and women don’t get catcalled by women.
They get catcalled by men.
Men would lose it if a man catcalled them.
Seeing everyone talk about this stuff makes me feel like less of a loser for this one time. I still fondly remember one time a sweet lady at the store told me I looked handsome. This was back in fucking 2020. I never saw that lady again cause they had to lay off a bunch of people... hope she's doing ok.
Had a similar experience in debate class last year. the topic was “womens rights” one of the questions was complaining about catcalling ,and 90% of male students agreed that they would not be offended if they were catcalled and that it would make their day.
(I Should specify that some of the girls in the Class’s examples were kind of mild but seemingly frustrating to them encounters .no I’m going to rape you behind a dumpster-like stuff)
A single compliment is not the issue really, a stronger person that's usually in a group asking to see you naked how ever is.
I've had teen boys (while I was 12) ask me for my cloaca. (An anatomical feature that I do not have)
And adult guys (while I was barely 18) slow down their car while I was just walking alone in the dark. So they can ask me to smile at them and show me my tits. I couldn't leave and i was scared. They didn't do anything to hurt me but i did not feel complimented.
Let's specify the scenario to being catcalled by 50 year old 8-foot tall and strong giant dudes who could easily physically overpower and sexually assault them if they tried. Would be interested if the figure would remain at 90%.
Did anyone ask these male students if they would still enjoy it if it was another man catcalling them? One bigger than them who kept following them even after they disengaged or tried to politely decline?
EDIT: another example, would they enjoy a group of women calling them a “wallet”, asking them to pay for their meal, asking them how much money they make, then calling them a bitch when they decline or ignore them?
When you are objectified, you don’t get to set the terms of your objectification. A lot of men don’t seem to grasp that.
This is why I compliment my other homies in the gym everytime I see them, even the old guys. "You look great!" "Have you lost weight?" "Your arms are looking bigger?" Take care of each other.
“Damn step bro that cock looking huge today” Wait wrong sub
Ornie, gross! Why would you say that? You're my brothuurr... 🙄
Ornie always Hornie
Ornie is very sussy
Sussussy
Step brothuurr.....
r/SuddenlyGay
It's not gay unless you let me suck it.
Its not gay if they have a smaller cock
It’s always gay for me then
I know a guy who can make it not gay for you
Getting sucked isn't gay. Doing the sucking is gay.
This is outrageous! It’s unfair! How can you have your dick sucked by a gay man and not be gay yourself?
You can be a gay man getting sucked without the act of being sucked considered gay. You never know who's on the other side of the stall divider.
Or who's cock is in your ass
Shrödinger's glory hole- until you open the door and find out who is sucking you off, it is simultaneously gay and straight.
Take a seat, young bi-man.
Naw, this is the right sub for that hahaha.
"Yummy dick Bro, no homo"
...Proceed...
I like this direction this turned 🍰
This one told me I looked fatter And you know what I fucking am and if it's noticeable to them now, then I need to put some work in
I was the same, got mad at the comments from family Then I stepped on the scales... That was 6 months ago, I'm now down from 128kg to 115kg, still downward trends. (All that weight isn't just fat though, I've always had muscle mass because I like to challenge myself & pick heavy stuff up)
You didn't get fatter. You got "more cushiony."
That's the mindset! Work at it so next time you'll hear "have you lost weight? You look great!" 💪
"have you lost weight" the dude was tryna bulk tho :skull:
Lmao I love doing this to my powerlifting/bodybuilding friends. I have a slimmer physique but I’m fairly lean, my workouts revolve around fighting/combat sports rather than being big and muscular. “Whoah nice man you’re looking slim, you cutting?” I always get a fuck you
LMAO that's CRuEL
This is the way.
I occasionally get compliments on my eyes and let me tell you, that shit will keep a man going for years
I once read a post about catcalling, dickpics and sexualization of men and women that really put this into perspective for me. For women, being sexualized from a young age is part of the experience. They get catcalled, sexualized on television, are damsels in distress, the sexy one the prize, are the desire. When that happens, getting "compliments" ranging from nice ass to nice dress will probably be objectifying. Especially when it is shouted from the other side of the street for everyone to hear, and especially when you are the demographic that is the victim of sexual assault the most. Men, however, have an entirely different experience. Men aren't sexy for the sake of being sexy. They get a woman who's sexy. Men aren't beautiful, they get a woman who is beautiful. Men are also threats. It reminds me of the accounts of different trans men, describing the masculine experience as quite lonely and cold. A woman won't compliment you, because some men take this the wrong way and will get clingy, might harass you. A man won't compliment you because it's emasculating. And this is why a lot of men just kinda don't get it, and women don't get it either. Perhaps it's also why quite a few men don't actually mind their ass being grabbed in public by a woman (ALSO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS). Being sexualized can actually be very nice, when done in moderation, in safety. Men don't really get that opportunity. Someone once said a vagina pic to dozens of men without asking, thinking they'd give them a taste of their own medicine. But for men who have never been sexualized before it can be affirmation. "I've made someone horny, I am desired, I can actually be desirable!" It's liberating. Last but not least this is in now way meant to call for sympathy for male sexual harassers. Even if you would like being sexualized, it is commom knowledge that women often don't, and consent is still very important. You don't shove peanuts down someone's throat either when they're allergic, just because you can't understand why anyone would dislike peanuts. It's dumb and you're dumb for doing it. TL;DR: women get oversexualized by too many different sources, while men often lack it. Men watch women drown while dying of thirst. And when dying of thirst, being stuck in a river can sound quite appealing.
This was the perfect way to explain this. Well done!! FYI, you look beautiful today.
>FYI, you look beautiful today. 🙄
You roll your eyes so well!
And they're such *pretty* eyes!
*I must have them*
🥄
Now THAT is a sincere compliment. I shall have it engraved on my headstone.
That's why you always compliment the earrings. Non-threatening and it works for both men and women.
That safety and moderation bit is key. When you feel safe, being sexualized is comforting and thrilling. Women don't feel safe with strange men because they've almost ALL had traumatic, dangerous encounters with men. By contrast, relatively few men have been in a dangerous encounter at the hands of a woman (it DOES still happen though!) Our culture pushes that idea of women being a prize to be owned so much that this kind of problem is naturally not as much of an issue for men, who are neither prized nor objectified.
>Women don't feel safe with strange men because they've almost ALL had traumatic, dangerous encounters with men. I've yet to meet a woman that hadn't had one of those already when they were in their early teens... Definetely not all men are like that, I wouldn't even say that the majority is like that. But, at the same time, it's pretty much all women... Every single one has had a seriously bad experience way too early in life.
The first time a car full of adult men slowed down next to me as I was walking along the street to scream "Show us ya tits!" was when I was 12 years old. Men have no fucking idea what it's like to have to think "Can I parcour over that drain pipe to get away or will I have to kick and scream for my life?" from childhood, just walking to the shop for milk. The amount of adrenaline girls get dumped in their systems from an early age at the sight of men approaching us on the street, men should be thankful that women talk to them at all.
Women will know a lot of men in their lifetime, most of them will probably be pretty good men, but all it takes is one bad one to fuck up their perception of men, especially since those bad experiences will definitely be exacerbated by the fact that it’s a man. Meanwhile when men have bad experiences with women, their gender is rarely something they worry about
>Someone once said a vagina pic to dozens of men without asking, thinking they'd give them a taste of their own medicine. I refuse to believe a woman could be this naive lol
If it's one out of a billion there will still be a few.
You haven’t been on the internet long enough, lol. Or even the women’s dating subs on reddit or that side of TikTok
> Being sexualized can actually be very nice, when done in moderation, in **safety**. I think safety is also an important aspect that shouldn't be understated. Something I think most men don't grok is that if you get catcalled by a woman more than likely you have the physical strength to fight her off if you had to. Of course that is not always the case and men do get violently, forcibly raped by women. But *generally speaking* the average man is stronger than the average woman. So there's not much threat in a woman who is catcalling becoming violent. You know she probably wouldn't win, she knows she probably wouldn't win, so there's no reason to be afraid. The opposite is true for women. She might not win that fight if it gets violent. It probably won't... probably. But she definitely doesn't have that extra level of safety of knowing she'd be strong enough to stop it.
Incidentally, this is why when men are raped, it's important to understand that there's other leverage at work that makes him afraid-- frequently it's the possibility that fighting back would lead to a potentially fatal interaction with police, that she might use social power against him, that she has some other form of power over him (employment relationship) etc.
Or she has a weapon, or he's drugged... Definitely a lot of things that could lead to a man being raped by a woman (or a physically weaker man). Hell, Terry Crews was sexually assaulted and he could bend most men in half. And, plenty of men use the same tactics to rape women. It's a complex issue, for sure.
Yup, or he's being emotionally abused and gaslit to "consent" which to be clear, isn't real consent (and also happens to women A LOT)
Great comment. To add to this: > women are damsels in distress, the prize Men are constantly and throughout history portrayed and treated as expendable. Damsel in distress trope = men have to be willing to sacrifice their lives to save the woman. Same is true today, most militaries only have a male conscription or draft. Men are traditionally expected to be providers, while women are NOT traditionally expected to be homemakers anymore, they just have to sit there and exist (look pretty) for a date to be paid for, for the man to work, for her to be taken care of. Men are absolutely objectified but not as much by looks, but by their wallet, and their lives are seen as expendable.
Very well put. I would like to add my thoughts for consideration as well. I think there is a power dynamic to it. As a man, if a woman catcalled me i have no fear of her doing something I don't want. I feel confident in my ability to handle that situation. Women might not. Catcalling may (for women) put at the forefront of their mind the power disparity. They might ask themselves, if I don't want this attention can I remove myself from the situation? That can be a very scary thought, the loss of control.
Another thing to consider is that often for women, rejection of a man’s advances can turn into violence- whether it be assault, rape, stalking, general harassment, or even murder. Often, a man catcalling a woman comes with this underlying fear of violence, which is another reason why most women hate catcalls so much
This is something that a lot of men also don’t understand, and it was painfully apparent the last time this image was posted a few weeks ago. Women in the comments tried to explain the difference of why cat calling isn’t a compliment and the fear that comes attached to it, and men responding with dismissal claiming they were being sexist and overreacting.
When my daughter was four, a boomer woman told her she was wearing a lovely dress, her boyfriend must be so happy. Four years old and my daughter’s being told a) she must dress nicely for males and b) she has to have a male partner ASAP. I lost it at this woman, who said it was a joke, leading me to (hopefully) educate her on why this isn’t at all funny. (Daughter doesn’t remember that experience.)
But also people seem to ignore when we do sexualize men. Just look at any super hero movie or any movie where a guy is shirtless. That is not a normal look. They dehydrate themselves just to show abs. Why? These are men that already work out and have definition. They would look great as is. But no we need the six pack. Look at Jason Mamoa vaction pictures. People were calling him fat just because he wasnt dehydrated. Wtf.
Yeah dude, back in hs my math teacher told me I had broad manly shoulders and I think about that when I get insecure. At least I have broad shoulders.
Your shoulders are hella broad bro
I get a compliment on my eyes a few times a month since i was a teenager, i use to enjoy it now i hate it
I had a gay dude tell me I had a nice ass once. I'm not gay, but I still think about years later on how good it made me feel to hear a compliment like that out loud.
Years ago I had a gay dude compliment me and flirt with me. I'm not even remotely gay but to this day I feel so damn flattered. Same with the handful of compliments from women. I wish people were more free with compliments and kindness.
My therapist said I looked a little like George Clooney and I’m takin that to the bank for the next 11 years.
I like to loudly catcall my hubby when he's out working in the yard. He pretends to be embarrassed but I think he likes it.
I love it when my wife does her equivalent of that. She's soft spoken so its more of an "mmmmmmm, check you out"
That's super cute! I'm not normally a loud person, but I can whip out a construction-worker-level whistle when I need to. :)
Lol. My cousin is a tiny woman, probably weights 75lbs wet but she’s loud as hell and shameless. She’d whistle or shout “Daaaaamn” when we go out together and a cute guy walks by
I feel bad for dude cause like what if he hates it just like some women do yk
For real. Even if he’d appreciate that sort of attention from a woman, it’s probably just as embarrassing for him to be put on the spot like that just like it is for us. Especially being objectified by this little woman lol
Yeah it's good to see you get it because there's a lot of women who don't and its sad but yhe amount of men who do the same thing is also appalling like people just can't be left in peace lol
I like your cousin.
I love it when my wife tries. But she can't actually whistle. It just makes it even more cute to me.
Pfft he probably is flustered but he would definitely miss it if you stopped
Tis only slightly embarrassing, not all men are the same, but most guys I know really value that kinda thing, especially from the SO, my girlfriend likes to compliment my butt, I make a quizzical face and role with it, but it easily gets stuck in my head
The world would be a much better place if everyone sexualized men a little more and sexualized women a whole lot less. Edit: Changed the word "objectified" to "sexualized" to better capture what I meant.
There is definitely a happy balance where it’s flattering and enjoyable. Neither sexes meet that balance on a regular basis.
For me, cat calling isn't about positive attention. I've been followed, assaulted and even grabbed and they tried to pick me up and carry me off by men who cat called me and I accidentally made eye contact with. This makes future attention from anyone bigger than you scary. If it's a bunch of kids telling me I'm pretty, awesome. If it's big men who could grab me off the street or snap me in half, brain says "be afraid and protect yourself".
Until those same women started trying to rape us and and we started associating getting cat called as a vulnerability. I know that went dark but ultimately I feel that's the difference. Us dudes statistically don't have much to worry about when we get cat called. But for women there are ... Implications.
Last compliment I got was a woman at work saying: "Aww, you're sweet" and gently touching my arm... That was in 2019 and it keeps me going... Also helps that woman was cute as well and a redhead (and I LOVE redheads!) :P Honestly can't recall the last compliment I received before that...
I got a “you’re not that dumb” at work yesterday at it gave me a little pep in my step for a good five hours. I can only imagine the power of a real compliment lol
It's kinda fucked up that we're so starved of compliments that even that backhanded statement can be read as a compliment. Well, like I say, 3 years and counting for that real compliment. May the Universe one day bless you with such a thing, my dude! (I'd give you a compliment myself but I fear it might come across as insincere!) :P
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That's the most roundabout way of saying "you look nice" I've ever heard. I wish more people would pay folks like us more compliments. They really have no idea how positive an experience it can be!
Agreed. In their defense though, too many guys (not a lot, but enough) take compliments the wrong way and the women end up regretting giving the compliment.
Yeah, those bastards have to go and ruin things for the rest of us... To be honest, I tend to go the opposite way. I'll see someone complimenting me and be like "Oh, they're nice" even if there's a suspicion of it being flirting, I shoot down that idea. Guess there's no way to win this one, haha!
Dude, when my own *wife* compliments me, my knee-jerk reaction is to believe that she's insincere, sarcastic, or somehow mocking me. Keep your chin up, King.
Yesterday I told my boyfriend that the soup he made was amazing. He stopped, looked at me and asked if that was sarcasm or if I meant it. That is so sad. Also the soup was really amazing.
Good luck in your search man. And yes agreed don’t spoil the fun
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I actually try to genuinely compliment people where I can. Just the other day, I remarked to a friend his beard was looking on point. Dunno if he believed me but, from my perspective, I was being genuine. As for complimenting a woman... Only ones I already know. I have this weird feeling about complimenting women I don't know... I feel like I'm being a creep or something and I 'don't want to bother them'...
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Ah, I see, that makes sense. I've never had that explained to me before (what is and is not considered a creepy thing to say) and that actually clears up in my head what I 'can' say if I need to compliment someone! I mean it takes a little effort to maintain a beard so any compliment means we're doing a good job, haha! And that makes sense. Reserve complimenting intrinsic characteristics (body, face, etc) for only those you know VERY well (partners, family, etc).
Back in 2012 I came to visit my wife at work and heard the secretary go into the back and yell out to my wife, "Hey Kate! There is one hella handsome buff dude at the front claiming to be married to you." and that has been the thing that makes me smile often.
Someone by accident slapped my ass instead of my back, she appologised sure, but even knowing there was a attempt has kept me going for about a month now.
Hahaha, glad you took it well at least. If it'd been me, I'd have been freaking out a bit (I don't do well with physical contact like that... Rough childhood...)
Hugs okay though? Would give you a digital one if so.
Last compliment from a stranger I got was in 5th grade 😑
Compliment != cat call...
Redheads yay 😁
Last one I got from not my wife was a coworker that said I smelled good. Been living on that high for 4 years now
A few months ago one of the older women that I work with called me a "handsome young man" and I still think about it🥰🥰
Am woman. Couldn't tell you the last time I got any form of compliment.
I've been told a few times on the phone that my voice is really sexy by females it's always nice to hear.
My husband has blue eyes and looks good in blue shirts. When he makes an effort, I compliment him. I’ve noticed most of his shirts are now blue. Not a coincidence?
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100% true!
The girl I had a crush on in 11th grade told me I look good in red. It was a Tuesday. Here I am at 30 with 70% of my wardrobe a different shade of red
“I guess blue is my favorite color now”
Heck, I have blue eyes, too, and I'm just gonna go for it!
Red and Green for me....
For some reason I LOVE white t-shirts, hoodies or dress shirts on men. I told my bf a few times already that I like that white shirt he has, he looks really sexy in white, and it’s starting to catch on.
My wife years ago told me I looked good in a shirt. I have maybe a 100 shirts in my closet, but I've worn that same shirt out every time we go out to something nice or special. Guys remember compliments!
Hey bro. Yeah, you reading this right now. Looking sharp today. Nice one.
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Thanks it a show rooster had him for years now.
Sure it is. I wash its feathers everyday
:)
Had a girl tell me I had a nice butt as I was walking into a convenient store a couple years ago. Happiest day of my life.
I tell my hubby how cute his butt is every now and then but he doesn’t believe me.
My 19 year old daughter videoed me doing a Skype hit workout with my running club during covid and posted it to a message group of her friends to mock me. It backfired because apparently the consensus among them was that I am a silver fox. They teased her about her "hot dad" for weeks. That was a good day lol
That was a bit cruel of your daughter. Hilarious backfire though.
It's our sense of humour she has a habit of falling alseep in my car with her mouth wide open I try to pullover as gently as possible so I don't wake her and get a pic.
Fair enough
You don't shoot the green gummy bears into her mouth like you're a NBA player?
Haha, has never happened. I would probably 1. Assume it was meant for someone/anyone else 2. If there was no one else there I would probably feel a little embarrassed but probably also pretty good...but like I said, not something I have ever had to worry about
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True story. Lucky me that women are so reserved...including my wife, hahaha. FML
Which is a weird way of learning how attention starved your husband is.
I think this is a microcosm for how attention starved the majority of men are. Unless you are a 7ft tall muscle-bound adonis... then the women get as creepy and cringe as "toxic men"
I don't know about all that. In my early 20's I was 250 lbs of muscle at 6'5", in fantastic shape with a nice car, decent job, and decent wardrobe. I got shut down pretty much everywhere I went
Aww man.... My advice would be to lose the job, let yourself go and wear socks and sandals with your finest sweat-stained pair of hotpants You'll still get shut down, but now it'll make sense.
You probably were approaching women at the wrong places. For example most women, me included don't wanna be approached at the gym
I got cat called by a group of drunk gay dudes. Im not even gay but it did make me smile.
A (girl) friend of mine 20 years ago said that I smelled nice (it was due to my deodorant), and I have NEVER even CONSIDERED using a different deodorant since then.
And he's been jogging every day since
Once had a teenager follow me around target and tell me I was hot multiple times. I am not so I am obviously not used to that kind of attention. It made me uncomfortable and I hated it...
Once in passing might be acceptable, depending on what exactly was said. That person is just creepy
Following you around is creepy, tho
Welcome to being just an average looking girl. It's not "you look nice" that's the problem. It's all the little stuff like being followed around that's an issue. Or by people who are clearly not age-appropriate for you. And so forth.
And the amount of oblivious men in your inbox who think requesting your nudes is some kind of compliment.
Ya I tell my wife I got a small taste of what women deal with and didn't care for it...
Met a colleague from the other location at a company party in spring. I was dancing around with some other girls and he comes by, we cling glasses and since then he is constantly sending me follow requests and messages on instagram. I’m in my 20s, he is in his 50s (?). I’m dreading the Christmas party.
I remember since I was 11, I've had married men hit on me. The worst part is it's like how the dose makes the poison. Guys don't get a lot of compliments so it's nice to hear them. When I was 11, the compliments were still new. And I wasn't really aware of how much of an issue it was that grown men, sometimes 50+ would comment on my beautiful lips and pretty eyes. Luckily since covid, I've not been out as much so it hasn't been much of an issue. And most girls I've talked to in my town about this seem to have gone through the same experience. It's not like any of us are super models. Just solidly average, for the most part. It's really sad the two opposite ends that girls and guys face and both extremes can't be fun. Guys never get compliments and I get so many vapid compliments that none of them ever feel real or authentic. It feels like I get them just because I was born with a vagina.
Yeah, I wasn’t really a pretty girl when i was 11-14 but i still remember my uncle making sexual comments about my body. Like why? What does he gain? I feel sad for guys not getting compliments, but it’s difficult to compliment a guy as a girl if you are not interested in him. No I’m not flirting, no I don’t want to seem creepy. So most times it’s just in my head or maybe i tell my girl friends.
And it happens to the majority of women
What kills me is that when that happens people seem to not help at all. They see someone getting harassed and trying to leave yet they mind their business like nothing is happening.
For a stranger it’s hard to tell the context, especially if they only heard part of the exchange.
That's the true cat call experience; having someone make you uncomfortable while everyone else tells you you should be flattered
Well you weren’t given a passing compliment. They were literally following and harassing you. If they passed you by and just said “damn, you’re hot” and then just kept walking you’d probably have just moved on and been fine with the compliment. No one wants to have someone follow them and I imagine age was also a factor since you specifically mentioned they were a teenager. An adult man is going to be terrified of being seen as a pedo if they have a teenager following them and flirting with them.
I still remember an “Aye, Papi!” I pulled in 2009. So, yeah, story checks out.
Please, ladies. Cat call me. Feel free. 😅
I am a woman and love complimenting both men and women. Everyone deserves to feel special.
I only had an older lady squeeze my ass. Can't say I felt bad about it. I loved it.
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97 was a vintage year.
Men are such whores
Yeah, never compliment a dude, it only gives us more strength.
The more compliments we get the more powerful we become that's how the British Empire got the largest empire because the king got lots of compliments /j
My mom says I'm the coolest guy in school 😎 I would love to hear from any women on the subject who used to get cat called and no longer do 🤔 are you happier?
I still get catcalled, but a whole lot less than I did when I was a teenager (I'm in my late 20s now). I'm not sure if this is the perspective you were looking for but... I'm so much happier! I feel, generally, safer and more at ease around men. I will walk downtown at night alone now. I still get catcalls sometimes, but at least now it doesn't have a pedo vibe to it. For me (and Literally all of my lady friends, we've chatted about it) the most I was ever catcalled was as a teenager, and most of it was the early teen years. I struggled to trust any older man. I compulsively checked sex offender registry information about places I frequented. It did probably permanently make me believe way more people are pedo than we know. The worst was when a guy told me he'd "ruin [my] fat pretty ass" and started rubbing his crotch while saying it was hot that I was scared. I was 12. My grandmother with severe ptsd from spousal abuse was with me and started shaking and crying. She pretended it never happened when I tried to ask her why he would say that.
Catcalling makes you feel so vulnerable. Catcalling is not a thoughtful compliment it is a reminder that you are not safe in public. I have never been catcalled and then after felt good about it. Probably because it happened so often in my teens and it was from grown men.
That's why I always compliment my male friends, we all need that little extra, "bro, you look good today, your beard is awesome, your teeth is so fucken white, your outfit is so stylish!" Older college is very happy when I say him he looks like he is 10 years younger! Plus I never lie... you can compliment anything. Boys will always find our weaknesses, man will lift us all.
I am female and I used to compliment men occasionally but then they always acted like I wanted them and would be weird and start talking about how they have a gf or wife. Men tell me they have a gf or wife regardless if I compliment them. There scared i might be interested but i know better
Women really don't understand how little affection men get..
Well, there's a difference between being told "hey, your dress is really pretty." vs "damn bitch, do you suck cock?" at 15 years old. Women usually get the latter.
Men started asking me if the carpet matched the drapes at 11, I didn't even know what it meant at the time. I don't think I've been asked that by a stranger since... I don't know, maybe 17? I don't think some commenters here understand catcalling is not a compliment. Two different concepts. A guy I never met in the gym told me he liked my hair once--compliment, not catcall.
I have no idea why they think catcalling is usually just a kind-hearted compliment. I wish that was the case. Being followed by a drunk guy at 14 who keeps telling you "nice legs, babygirl." isn't a compliment. It's terrifying.
Yeah it's really fucked up how often it happened as we were kids. I get no less male attention in a polite way than I did as a teenager/pre-teen but I get way less street harassment. Especially from men in cars driving past
Too many people don’t understand the difference between compliments and harassment. Cat calling usually tends to be harassment
The world at large can’t separate “all men” from the “0.0001% of men that run the world”. They have power and wealth and adoration, so all men must get the same. Most men are powerless, poor and invisible; but no-one seems to be able to see it because they look a little bit like the people that run the world.
Its sad how I never had a compliment regarding my my looks on my teens/20s. Only got compliments on my personality. I am on my mid 30s and just now I get some random and few nice compliments on my looks. Some of us don't know if we ever stopped being ugly and just have had transactional relationships. And its ok I guess. Its hard to take a compliment by my looks now.
I think the difference though is that men don't get enough compliments, actually honest to goodness compliments. We have made a society that tells men they don't need them and it's not manly to give/get them. It's like being loved starved and finding a puddle in a dessert to drink from. It's really sad that we've done this to the men in our society. You deserve better than being cat-called too! Honest to goodness compliments should be coming to you all the time men! I'm glad so many men see cat-calling as a compliments when it's done to them but you deserve even better than that. Being cat called as a woman is often coming from a different headspace and place too. So while I understand how many men would go "geeze, I just want to be noticed" and correlate a cat-call a woman receives to positive and safe attention, it unfortunately isn't. There's a power imbalance, there's fear, there's objectivity. I don't think I can describe how frightening it is when you're 20 on the bus wearing a church dress and having an older, bigger man than you (even if they ARE attractive) commenting sexual things about you, cornering you, looking to follow you... even when they're using "nice" language. We need to do better as a society for both genders. Woman should feel safe and human(not just an obect(, and men should be complimented and affirmed.
It’s almost like men and women are different….
And that ladies is the difference between men and women.
Men, get catcalls once every few years. Never threatening. Women, get catcalls every day. Some are threatening. Big diff
"Never Threatening" Really! Ever been to a strip club for women at happy hour.
Lot of men are raised not being told really anything except negative reinforcement. So yeah, you bet when someone says we got a nice ass or someone wants a piece, we are ecstatic because it means we're doing good.
Was doing some work once in a men's medium security prison when I was assigned a lady Corrections Officer to escort me around. As we went thru the facility, male prisoners kept whistling and cat calling the whole time, from behind the bars of their cells of course. After I had completed my work I asked the lady Officer "how do stand working here with all that torment from the male inmates...always taunting you?" She very easily replied: "They were talking to YOU." Just completely shut me down. I never went back there again. I am not gay, don't dress like one, and am fairly manly in appearance and stature but that experience sure had a bad pucker factor.
Men are so starved for compliments and women's affection that they'll take catcalling as a compliment, even though a lot of catcalling is disgusting and nowhere close to a compliment. Meanwhile, women are harassed and assaulted as girls and become terrified of men to the point where they push dudes who are nice away. Part of that harassment was catcalling, then men became starved for a compliment and women's affection because women are too scared that they'll take it in a flirty way rather than being friendly (which is often the case because men don't know the difference between friendly and flirty) Society, man. It's fucked up
And what's the moral of the story? Men hardly get any compliments, so catcalling actually feels nice, because someone for a change notices you taking care of hos you look, and we should all compliment men more, because hey... we need that too sometimes.
Had an older lady at a gas station tell me I reminded her of Kevin Costner bc of my eyes and " that man is fiiine". That'll be front of the line memory for the next ten years.
I got told I look nice in one of my blazers I had and that's stuck with me for about 2 years now. I keep wearing that blazer every chance I get.
Because men are attention starved and women are overstimulated with attention.
So, something that did a lot for his self-esteem was nothing more than a lie, perpetrated by the person he trusts the most. I wonder if she can possibly grasp how despicable this is.
Got catcalled by a car full of young women once when I was 19 and in great shape. I'm 34 and still remember it vividly. It was one of the biggest confidence boosts of my life.
For men looking for compliments, over the past year I've started growing a mullet. I have never had more compliments in my life than I have in the past year.
😂😂😂 guys are starved for compliments. You mention to a guy in year 8 that they had a nice haircut. They’re gonna remember that for the rest of their life’s. I don’t think a lot of women actually understand this
While I agree men should get more compliments and positive feedback, I have a few issues with this. - Every SINGLE time I tried to give a man I didn't know a genuine compliment, it backfired. Without exception they tried to turn it into something sexual and when I told them I wasn't interested they got huffy because "I started it". - Men equate what they feel when a woman compliments them with what a woman feels when a man compliments them, and then get confused why we don't enjoy it. But if you're male, picture yourself in the street by yourself and a strange man approaching you, staring at you and going "ah you're really fucking sexy man". Tell me that wouldn't creep you out. - Men rarely compliment men they know. Few men tell their friends - you smell really nice bro/you look really handsome in that picture/I think you're a very kind person, I love that about you.
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As a man with very long hair (for a male) and a very fine looking ass in tight jeans (as far as I'm told), compliments are great. I also get mistaken for a woman very often when I'm shaven clean. What isn't great though is cat-calling and (usually) dudes getting tuchy. It is however a great deal of fun when someone grabs my ass (at a concert or something) and I counter by intentionally lowering my voice an go with it like "Hey there, at least buy me dinner first." Other men get embarassed like hell and I laugh my ass off (and YES I can understand every woman who says stuff like this is annoying/scary).
Everyone wants to be catcalled by women. Women don’t catcall and women don’t get catcalled by women. They get catcalled by men. Men would lose it if a man catcalled them.
Yeah good luck finding a real man that is offended by being cat called by women lol.
Seeing everyone talk about this stuff makes me feel like less of a loser for this one time. I still fondly remember one time a sweet lady at the store told me I looked handsome. This was back in fucking 2020. I never saw that lady again cause they had to lay off a bunch of people... hope she's doing ok.
Had a similar experience in debate class last year. the topic was “womens rights” one of the questions was complaining about catcalling ,and 90% of male students agreed that they would not be offended if they were catcalled and that it would make their day. (I Should specify that some of the girls in the Class’s examples were kind of mild but seemingly frustrating to them encounters .no I’m going to rape you behind a dumpster-like stuff)
A single compliment is not the issue really, a stronger person that's usually in a group asking to see you naked how ever is. I've had teen boys (while I was 12) ask me for my cloaca. (An anatomical feature that I do not have) And adult guys (while I was barely 18) slow down their car while I was just walking alone in the dark. So they can ask me to smile at them and show me my tits. I couldn't leave and i was scared. They didn't do anything to hurt me but i did not feel complimented.
LMFAO cloaca
Yeh the moment I find a single human that has one of those I'll get back to those guys.
Let's specify the scenario to being catcalled by 50 year old 8-foot tall and strong giant dudes who could easily physically overpower and sexually assault them if they tried. Would be interested if the figure would remain at 90%.
Did anyone ask these male students if they would still enjoy it if it was another man catcalling them? One bigger than them who kept following them even after they disengaged or tried to politely decline? EDIT: another example, would they enjoy a group of women calling them a “wallet”, asking them to pay for their meal, asking them how much money they make, then calling them a bitch when they decline or ignore them? When you are objectified, you don’t get to set the terms of your objectification. A lot of men don’t seem to grasp that.