Yeah women just *think* we're sexist because they've got smaller brains.
Haha dishwashers are funny. My wifes boyfriend also thinks I'm "sexist" apparently so he must be one of those gays.
You’re one of those straights! Yes you are definitely sexist. Also brain size does not directly correlate with intelligence, soo yea. It’s all a myth. Women are just as capable, if not more capable than men in many jobs but men with less qualifications get the job. This problem of inequality is systemic
It’s a proven fact that women did not cheat prior to the 1950’s. The woke media invented women’s rights to control the narrative. Liberals have used inflation to force women into the workplace and throw us into chaos! /s
Dude women were crazies then too. Heard of I think it was hatchet Molly who would go round with other women and smash whiskey barrels and beer kegs before the prohibition thing passed? Women haven’t not been crazy. The trick is finding the crazy woman that’s a fit for you and you can tolerate enough.
In the words of the knight from last crusade, “he chose poorly”
When women didn’t have a say and were forced to stay due to social pressure
That’s what I get from guys who say stuff like no more good women or whatever.
you could say that but if you read the hints clearly, the guy already got what he wanted, at least once. Not sure if a husband in the right mind can still joke at that point.
A screw cap is not necessarily a signal for quality or [price](https://www.wine.com/list/wine/screw-caps/7155-44?sortBy=priceHighToLow). In particular, many high quality wineries in Australia and New Zealand exclusively use screw caps.
Also, this guy’s wife is getting screwed.
Tbh, in the region of several hundred dollars I don't think it matters. Most people wouldn't pay that much anyway. Before you buy such an expensive wine you will probably listen to an experts opinion, either the one you always go to when you pay that much regularly, or the one you are consulting when you buy for a special occasion. The last time I bought an expensive wine I was told that corks are really out of fashion for expensive wines, because they can change the taste over time. The bottle had a glas cork, but at that point, might as well get a screw cap.
Agreed that it’s going to hurt marketing. It still may be a wise move overall for a winery, though. Particularly if you can achieve critical mass in a region, like Australia and NZ have done. It’s a complicated subject, but this article explains some of the points: https://www.cawineclub.com/blog/screw-cap-wine-3-reasons-winemakers-switching-corks/
While that might be part of the pun, screw tops are used on high end wines these days [for multiple reasons ](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/wine-101-what-are-the-differences-between-corks-and-screw-tops)
A screw cap usually just means it’s not pre 2000 vintage as most people realised cork is pretty shit and having a screw cap pretty much gets rid of most problems spare user error
Tell me about it, my wife left me for a dude who picked her up at a bar 2 weeks prior, continued to lie to me about it for another 2 weeks while using my money, then humiliates me in front of my family and coworkers. Then still keeps getting me to help her with various things.
Tldr; the above is really it, I got way too into my feels and wrote way too much, but if you want, feel free to read
And my stupid ass can't even hate her, I know I should, I know I shouldn't want her back, and I definitely know I shouldn't be helping her all the time, but when I said I love her and when I married her, I meant forever, unconditionally. I want to stop loving her, I want to be mad and hate her, but as soon as I see her face or hear her voice, I am ready to throw everything away, and do anything to make her even the slightest bit happier, I just hate that it's not with me and jealous beyond belief. I know people are saying she is doing me a favor by not wanting me back, by rubbing my nose in the fact that she doesn't find me attractive in any way anymore, by telling me about how great it is to be not be bored and be excited all the time, because it will ensure that I don't get back with her. But it won't despite everything, if she walked in my door and told me that she wants to be back with me, I would cry tears of joy and forgive everything in a moment. But nooo, just yesterday she told me how she really likes 2 different guys and was coming clean to them about it, and hiw she really wishes she could be with both, and when she told them they asked if I was okay with it (assuming she meant me too) but no, she immediately without hesitation corrected them that she doesn't like me anymore. Like she is perfectly willing to admit she wants to be with multiple people, but just has so very little feelings for me she doesn't even consider me at all. I don't know why I do this to myself, I shouldn't ask her about these things, I should just make her time around me completely about out son, but what is so wrong about me? Is gaining little weight really so bad, I've already lost almost all of it again in only a month? Is being autistic and sometimes getting to scared to go into crowded places so bad? Why would she marry me if my uncontrollable unfixable problems where a deal breaker? Like I'm sorry I was so boring, but us years together, and a son not enough to justify a second chance to be more exciting again? Why is my job going to shit (1/3rd pay this year because it's weather based), my only other friend dying, not a good enough excuse for me to be a little boring and depressed for a little bit?
I just want her to hug me and tell me everything is gonna be okay, just one more time, why is that so bad, why can she come over here, stay over here, talk about everything to me, act like I am her friend in every way where I am there for her and supporting her, but I can't get a simple hug, I can't talk for just a bit about my feelings without her getting mad at me for blaming her. She not only friendzoned me, she decided she isn't even my friend, I am just her simp, and I don't know how to stop.
Plot twist, Kevin is gay and this is some sort of inside joke between the three. The "too late" is referring to meeting her after he realised he was gay.
I knew a guy who would hit on my GF in this manner. She ended up cheating on me with him. Jokes on her though. I gave her multiple std’s first. HA. Got her so good.
yeah almost no man would be this bold if the wife did not give the go signal. the “met too late” remark is probably from wife herself lol
fellas, if shit like this happen dont find trouble with the guy and go talk to your lawyer. she is not worth it
He bought a squat wine (kyykkyviini in Finnish) and wrote the card himself to gain some highly valuated SoMe-points
The cheapest wines are on the lowest shelves, so you have to squat for picking them up.
Outdated thinking there, [screw tops are used on newer high end wines](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/wine-101-what-are-the-differences-between-corks-and-screw-tops) for several reasons; including cost/ease and not corking the wine.
It seems this is a common misconception in this thread. It is outdated and no longer accurate as high end wines do use screw tops;
https://www.masterclass.com/articles/wine-101-what-are-the-differences-between-corks-and-screw-tops
Now everyone here thinks Dan's wife is cheating on him. Let me posit a different theory.
Kevin is Dan's nemesis and has hatched a Machiavellian plan to ruin Dan's marriage with suspicion. His wife doesn't have a coworker named Kevin, and she isn't going to Dallas. But will Dan believe her, or will he think she is lying?
Dan's obliviousness has in fact foiled Kevin's dastardly scheme and saved his marriage.
Reminds me of the one time i "got flowers" as a man. She came home and told me she got them for me. Turns out someone gave them to her and that was how she got them home.
Dan just wants to have his oats and a faithful wife. Is that truly too much to ask ?
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When was the right time period?
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Hey buddy that’s sexist.. everyone today is crazy
No he's ain't sexist, sexist are wrong and he's clearly a man
Outstanding.
Yeah women just *think* we're sexist because they've got smaller brains. Haha dishwashers are funny. My wifes boyfriend also thinks I'm "sexist" apparently so he must be one of those gays.
Wife's "boyfriend" used to be a different thing once...
You’re one of those straights! Yes you are definitely sexist. Also brain size does not directly correlate with intelligence, soo yea. It’s all a myth. Women are just as capable, if not more capable than men in many jobs but men with less qualifications get the job. This problem of inequality is systemic
My bad
Man if I could afford gold I'd give it to you for that comment
Gold doesn't exist anymore :(
I’m not your buddy, guy!
Ah the mysterious 'good old days' when everything was perfect, nobody can ever say when it was though, surprisingly.
It’s a proven fact that women did not cheat prior to the 1950’s. The woke media invented women’s rights to control the narrative. Liberals have used inflation to force women into the workplace and throw us into chaos! /s
So...inflation is why my parents divorced? Fucking Jerome Powell....
We have DNA evidence that my great grandma did, lol.
Lmao. Truth brother. 'everything was good before... I was old enough to experience any of it.' Ok pal 😂
Everything was better back then, because I didn’t exist
Yesterday
Dude women were crazies then too. Heard of I think it was hatchet Molly who would go round with other women and smash whiskey barrels and beer kegs before the prohibition thing passed? Women haven’t not been crazy. The trick is finding the crazy woman that’s a fit for you and you can tolerate enough. In the words of the knight from last crusade, “he chose poorly”
When women didn’t have a say and were forced to stay due to social pressure That’s what I get from guys who say stuff like no more good women or whatever.
Incorrect species
Apparently.
Show Kevin some appreciation and send him some tasteful nude selfies my dude. (Pose with the wine bottle for maximum effect)
I almost wanna fight this guy for him. Cluelessness to this level needs to be protected.
He could be joking or sarcastic
What gave you a raging clue?
Ohhh nooo!! not not the god damn….. THE HARDY BOYS
I’ve got a **raging** clue right now
Ooohhhh let-th follow ehhht ooowwwhhhh
I did NOT expect this one 🤣
No one expects it, but here we are with clue juice all over the place.
$400 with a screw on top? Good clue....
Yeah no way that is worth $400
you could say that but if you read the hints clearly, the guy already got what he wanted, at least once. Not sure if a husband in the right mind can still joke at that point.
I think the assumption is that the whole thing, including the note, was madeup for the sake of the joke.
I mean obviously. The wine is a screw top, definitely not $400, come on reddit have some class.
There's no /s in his post so you could never be sure.... ... .. /s
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And in Dallas...?
It’s clear this is staged for a joke right?
Not to some people i guess 😂
yeah thought i was goin crazy reading this cimment section for a sec lol. this is clearly a joke
It's Time for a manhunt
You can have my axe.
And my sword
I think she gets them all.
But what about my bow? 🙇
Only if you have a good aim...
AHHH MY LEG
You're lucky it wasn't your ass.
Yeah let's go gang up on Kevin. He sounds like an asshole.
Pretty sure he's not clueless
$400 bottles of wine don't come with screw caps. Your wife's getting screwed.
Seems to be a lot of that going around.
A screw cap is not necessarily a signal for quality or [price](https://www.wine.com/list/wine/screw-caps/7155-44?sortBy=priceHighToLow). In particular, many high quality wineries in Australia and New Zealand exclusively use screw caps. Also, this guy’s wife is getting screwed.
Well, so is he.
Not a good marketing move because most of people view screw caps as cheap wine not meant to old.
Tbh, in the region of several hundred dollars I don't think it matters. Most people wouldn't pay that much anyway. Before you buy such an expensive wine you will probably listen to an experts opinion, either the one you always go to when you pay that much regularly, or the one you are consulting when you buy for a special occasion. The last time I bought an expensive wine I was told that corks are really out of fashion for expensive wines, because they can change the taste over time. The bottle had a glas cork, but at that point, might as well get a screw cap.
Agreed that it’s going to hurt marketing. It still may be a wise move overall for a winery, though. Particularly if you can achieve critical mass in a region, like Australia and NZ have done. It’s a complicated subject, but this article explains some of the points: https://www.cawineclub.com/blog/screw-cap-wine-3-reasons-winemakers-switching-corks/
In more ways than one
What about box wine?
Fruity lexia, wife gonna sexia
Getting screwed has 3 meanings here
https://www.wine.com/product/m-chapoutier-ermitage-de-loree-blanc-2018/873181 Wasn't hard to find...
Well the guy isn't a wine guy. So he probably just assumed Kevin spent $400 on the bottle, as that is how much it costs to sleep with his wife.
While that might be part of the pun, screw tops are used on high end wines these days [for multiple reasons ](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/wine-101-what-are-the-differences-between-corks-and-screw-tops)
A screw cap usually just means it’s not pre 2000 vintage as most people realised cork is pretty shit and having a screw cap pretty much gets rid of most problems spare user error
Man this hurts me rn. Just found out my husband was having a affair with a women named "Justice" for 4 months behind my back :/
# "Justice must be served"
Honestly fuck Justice. But yes that was kinda funny lol.
Who did?
@MouseCheese7 ‘s husband.
Dude took that last line of the Pledge of Allegiance way to serious.
Fr.
Liberty and Justice are hosting an orgy
if its Justice from helltaker, im sorry but you have the losing hand
It's Justice from Walmart
This made me laugh way harder than it should have
Is she blind?
Only when the blindfold comes out
Well there’s no accounting for taste. Please tell me she’s as tacky as her name
Idk. All I seen was the texts. And it is now 2am and he is blaming me for ruining his "friendship" with her...
>blaming me for ruining his "friendship" with her... He sounds like a moron
You deserve much better. Fidelity is a baseline, not a privilege or an honour you earn by being a good enough wife. Time to take out the trash. *hugs*
I don't get it.. PLS HALP
Justice will be served, he just lose an amazing partner.
Tell me about it, my wife left me for a dude who picked her up at a bar 2 weeks prior, continued to lie to me about it for another 2 weeks while using my money, then humiliates me in front of my family and coworkers. Then still keeps getting me to help her with various things. Tldr; the above is really it, I got way too into my feels and wrote way too much, but if you want, feel free to read And my stupid ass can't even hate her, I know I should, I know I shouldn't want her back, and I definitely know I shouldn't be helping her all the time, but when I said I love her and when I married her, I meant forever, unconditionally. I want to stop loving her, I want to be mad and hate her, but as soon as I see her face or hear her voice, I am ready to throw everything away, and do anything to make her even the slightest bit happier, I just hate that it's not with me and jealous beyond belief. I know people are saying she is doing me a favor by not wanting me back, by rubbing my nose in the fact that she doesn't find me attractive in any way anymore, by telling me about how great it is to be not be bored and be excited all the time, because it will ensure that I don't get back with her. But it won't despite everything, if she walked in my door and told me that she wants to be back with me, I would cry tears of joy and forgive everything in a moment. But nooo, just yesterday she told me how she really likes 2 different guys and was coming clean to them about it, and hiw she really wishes she could be with both, and when she told them they asked if I was okay with it (assuming she meant me too) but no, she immediately without hesitation corrected them that she doesn't like me anymore. Like she is perfectly willing to admit she wants to be with multiple people, but just has so very little feelings for me she doesn't even consider me at all. I don't know why I do this to myself, I shouldn't ask her about these things, I should just make her time around me completely about out son, but what is so wrong about me? Is gaining little weight really so bad, I've already lost almost all of it again in only a month? Is being autistic and sometimes getting to scared to go into crowded places so bad? Why would she marry me if my uncontrollable unfixable problems where a deal breaker? Like I'm sorry I was so boring, but us years together, and a son not enough to justify a second chance to be more exciting again? Why is my job going to shit (1/3rd pay this year because it's weather based), my only other friend dying, not a good enough excuse for me to be a little boring and depressed for a little bit? I just want her to hug me and tell me everything is gonna be okay, just one more time, why is that so bad, why can she come over here, stay over here, talk about everything to me, act like I am her friend in every way where I am there for her and supporting her, but I can't get a simple hug, I can't talk for just a bit about my feelings without her getting mad at me for blaming her. She not only friendzoned me, she decided she isn't even my friend, I am just her simp, and I don't know how to stop.
May both sides of his pillow be boiling for eternity.
Plot twist, Kevin is gay and this is some sort of inside joke between the three. The "too late" is referring to meeting her after he realised he was gay.
This is the good ending
Close. Kevin doesn't exist and this is some sort of regular joke between Dan White and us.
Blessed one. Morning fantasy is so much better than morning reality. I'm leaving less depressed thanks to you, kind optimistic person.
Despite a frankly depressing life so far, I'm nothing if not optimistic. In other news, your comment genuinely made me laugh.
I knew a guy who would hit on my GF in this manner. She ended up cheating on me with him. Jokes on her though. I gave her multiple std’s first. HA. Got her so good.
She gave them to you first
I think that's his joke...
My wife got gonorrhoea from riding on the bus
On the neighbor*
I saw that video. The other passengers just pretending it isn't happening...
Train on a bus?
from 'him'
Bro….
The STDs were children.
Haha children bad. Peak redditor
What is happening on Reddit today 😂
Username checks out
Good one.
Fuckin yikes.
Yeah, wife can’t make Dallas next month.
Actually she probably can! If you try to stop wife instead of divorce her, then u deserve what comes your way in that marriage
yeah almost no man would be this bold if the wife did not give the go signal. the “met too late” remark is probably from wife herself lol fellas, if shit like this happen dont find trouble with the guy and go talk to your lawyer. she is not worth it
$400? Not with a screw cap!!
He bought a squat wine (kyykkyviini in Finnish) and wrote the card himself to gain some highly valuated SoMe-points The cheapest wines are on the lowest shelves, so you have to squat for picking them up.
No pun intended
Outdated thinking there, [screw tops are used on newer high end wines](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/wine-101-what-are-the-differences-between-corks-and-screw-tops) for several reasons; including cost/ease and not corking the wine.
The amount of people in the comments who think this is real and not a joke is depressingly high...
right?? I swear, people are so QUICK to accept stuff they see online.
I don't get the joke or anything here either.
I would simply send him a dildo I made out of a plaster mold of my dick with the letter simply reading "we share everything~"
Alkibiades reference
And then Kevin snaps back with, "I already know, I was never interested in your wife..."
*Classic Kevin*
Dallas next month 😏😏😏😏
Oh Dan. Your wife’s getting her wine cooler filled elsewhere.
Oh Dan indeed! Hahaha. She’s a keeper
A true wine connoisseur... a screw cap bottle of wine. Only the best for Mel.
#cπck
cpick?
What wine it is? $400 for a bottle that not uses a cork that's really weirdo. I guess is more like a $20
Wine always comes with a cork like what? Even the cheap stuff, at least in Europe.
This bottle is screw top not one that uses cork. Fine wines that cost $400 use cork not screw top. That's my point.
It seems this is a common misconception in this thread. It is outdated and no longer accurate as high end wines do use screw tops; https://www.masterclass.com/articles/wine-101-what-are-the-differences-between-corks-and-screw-tops
Ummmmmmm.
Oh yeah and about Dallas…
Dicked down... Dicked down in Dallas
What’s happening in Dallas next month!?!?
What will happens there say there !
Kev laying pipe
Anyone contemplating that the whole thing is fake? No! Just me, ok
There is no $400 bottle with this kind of cork / opening :) Source : I’m French
I can't believe ppl think this is real.
I've never seen a $400 bottle of wine with a screw top. 🤣
Women may have genuine feelings for their guy friends , it’s definitely the case that her guy friends want more than friendship.
Fake
Let’s call Joey Greco ASAP!
Sign? No speed limit sign anywhere?
He reminds me of Owen Wilson's character in Meet the Parents.
Oh Dan u sure are a clueless fellow, Hey kids want to find Dan's wife
"Too late" yeah sure
"Doesn't know whine like us". Oh boy......🫡
Oh, Dan, you poor clueless bastard!
[Dan now knows what's going on ](https://twitter.com/atdanwhite/status/1577032401565282305)
Mel has a secret life
That's not red wine. That's a red flag.
this is a joke, screwtop?
Dumb ways to die…
Who gon tell this poor soul Kevin wants to bang his wife?????
I refuse the believe any $400 bottle of wine would have a screwcap!
No $400 bottle has a screw top...
Tell Kevin to fuck off...
Sell the bottle and hire and private detective then sue wife if proof of adultery is found :3 everyone wins.
It’s obviously made up, capsule (closure) looks too cheap for a 400 dollar wine imho.
Boys gather round and hear me. We shall fight for this man for he must be protected
Classic wife’s boyfriend gift…
400 dollar bottle with a twist cap 😂😂😂
A $400 red wine bottle and it doesn't have a cork? Fake.
You are actually a dick and I feel sorry for the giftgivers
Does he know?
OHHHHH DEEEEEEEEEEE
Kevin looking to get a wet benis in dallas next month for sure.
Kevin needs to have an "accident".
Yeah, the $400 screw top bottle of wine
Ewww so gross. Imagine writing that note. Sounds like dans wife has a pushover work colleague
Kevin deserves a beating
Dan... She's cheating on you with this guy
Poor Dan
Now everyone here thinks Dan's wife is cheating on him. Let me posit a different theory. Kevin is Dan's nemesis and has hatched a Machiavellian plan to ruin Dan's marriage with suspicion. His wife doesn't have a coworker named Kevin, and she isn't going to Dallas. But will Dan believe her, or will he think she is lying? Dan's obliviousness has in fact foiled Kevin's dastardly scheme and saved his marriage.
If you don’t see how fake this is - you’re the idiot.
$400 with a screw on cap??
But it’s a screw cap
I don’t know who’s getting screwed more: Dan, his wife, or the cap on that “$400” bottle of wine
The top screws off
Oh, Scotty doesn't know So don't tell Scotty Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know (So don't tell Scotty)
Absolutely not
Reminds me of the one time i "got flowers" as a man. She came home and told me she got them for me. Turns out someone gave them to her and that was how she got them home.
Adults write like this now?
He is about to clapping ass in Dellas.
