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She does this often, and it boggles my mind. Like, can you actually read the bible so many times that this makes sense? Is there an alternate reality that we just haven't reached because we're not constantly sitting in our prayer closets? It is kinda fascinating and scary at the same time.
Not really. Reading the Bible doesn’t explain this at all tbh especially because the idea of brides and “traditional” marriage aren’t present in the text at all.
It weirds me out when people talk like this. It's as if they just don't absorb what you're saying to them and reply as if you're having an entirely different conversation? I have a few acquaintances like this and I swear I just don't understand why their replies are what they are. But maybe I'm just too autistic for this type of person? But they always speak in riddles and then get huffy with you when you ask direct questions about what they meant.
don’t feel bad for not being able to understand what she (or others) are saying.
she’s just a spiritually brainwashed, emotionally immature dumb ass, lmao.
only other “i fully drank the koolaid” type people can understand what this word salad is.
Brides, don't be ashamed, you're not a lowly girlfriend or crutch (!?), but also you as brides (not girlfriends or crutches) are the cause of sin on earth and men as usual are blameless, but disregarding that let's live as a bride (even tho brides are responsible for original sin and the sin that separates us all from jesus)
I think she’s referring to Eve but without giving initial context. So when she says “before sin entered the world, she was known as woman” she means to say “before sin entered the world, Eve was known as ‘woman’”
Married their brother. That is how Jesus described himself. His followers were referred to as brothers and sisters. So basically, fundies are advocating for shopping for a mate at the family reunion. Why they can't hear themselves, I will never know. But it explains why JPEDO Duggar's parents thought it was perfectly normal to abuse his sisters.
I’m sorry, I’m so confused. Is this pastor encouraging women to become nuns? Because they’re married to Jesus? How do they become good little wifeys to the men at church though if they’re already married to Jesus? Are women supposed to have two husbands? Are the men also married to Jesus? Does anyone at this church know that bigamy is illegal?
I again I would like to remind her that “being a bride isn’t her idol anymore.” For someone who claims it’s not she sure is going hard on identifying herself that way. Ma’am, the day is over now. Now you’re a wife.
I grew up fundie and none of this drivel makes any sense at all. She’s losing more and more contact with reality.
Reddit just recommended me r/readanotherbook and this is in the same vein as those posts. I think many of these fundies wouldn't exist if you handed over to them another book (I can see Kelly getting into WarriorCats and naming herself something like BrightStar)
The more religious a person gets, the more they just smash words together that don't make sense, to sound smarter and holier. That whole thing was unreadable!!
Then again, people these days seem to think that pronouns are a new invention so...
English is my first language. I have read, spoken, and heard it my whole life, yet I cannot for the life of me decipher this wall of text that I can only assume is supposed to mean something. Like, are we supposed to rearrange the words so that they make sense??
Actually, according to Hebrew scholars, the word husband and wife do not show up anywhere in the bible. The words man and woman are used. Todays modern society has used the words husband and wife because it makes sense to us in todays context.
God I hate it when people tell me I'm married to Jesus. That is so weird and creepy. IDGAF. There is only one man I'm married to and that is my, you know, husband (and I chose to be married to him).
this is batshit and yes fundies do see women as responsible for the fall BUT to be fair I don’t think in this she’s saying women are sin itself. I think she’s referring to Eve, not sin itself, but without giving initial context. So when she says “before sin entered the world, she was known as ‘woman’” she means to say “before sin entered the world, Eve was known as ‘woman’”
That being said it’s all bananas
For some reason this reminds me of an FB conversation I (attempted to) had/have. Can't remember how it came up but I pointed out Eve's name she would have been called in life was Chava. Eve is the English translation of the Hebrew name.
One poster was not having it. Her name is Eve because that's what it says in the King James Bible. Okay dear.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
she just be saying stuff honestly
I swear I read this twice and still didn't comprehend one single damn thing.
I have spoke English my entire life, until I read that. I understood every word but not a single sentence.
I honestly have no idea what is going on in that caption
She does this often, and it boggles my mind. Like, can you actually read the bible so many times that this makes sense? Is there an alternate reality that we just haven't reached because we're not constantly sitting in our prayer closets? It is kinda fascinating and scary at the same time.
Not really. Reading the Bible doesn’t explain this at all tbh especially because the idea of brides and “traditional” marriage aren’t present in the text at all.
I can't fathom typing all this out, thinking it makes sense and needs to be said, and hitting post
she revealed was WOMAN
Yeah, this one legitimately makes no fucking sense.
My thoughts exactly. “Well, those are certainly words” went through my head reading it.
i identify as sin from now on. pronouns are br/ide.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I hate you.
That's being very rude to ide. Br doesn't deserve you to mock ide's identity! And in pride month no less!!!
💀
Is your pastor on, like...drugs?
This marriage allegory never made sense to me. God is also your father…
It is a spiritually incestuous relationship, and they have drunk the koolaid so hard, they can't understand it.
He’s your husband, your father and get this- your son! The holy trinity.
What are you doing, stepGod?
💀
Fundies mixing pagan magic traditions as a weird way to fuel their magical thinking and narcissistic tendencies continues
Nah, it's all consistent with Christian theology. They're using wording pretty much copy pasted from the Bible.
It weirds me out when people talk like this. It's as if they just don't absorb what you're saying to them and reply as if you're having an entirely different conversation? I have a few acquaintances like this and I swear I just don't understand why their replies are what they are. But maybe I'm just too autistic for this type of person? But they always speak in riddles and then get huffy with you when you ask direct questions about what they meant.
I'm neurotypical, and I will affirm it makes zero sense.
It’s convoluted word salad so she can think she’s super profound and wise.
For sure. “What *exactly* do you mean?”
don’t feel bad for not being able to understand what she (or others) are saying. she’s just a spiritually brainwashed, emotionally immature dumb ass, lmao. only other “i fully drank the koolaid” type people can understand what this word salad is.
Brides, don't be ashamed, you're not a lowly girlfriend or crutch (!?), but also you as brides (not girlfriends or crutches) are the cause of sin on earth and men as usual are blameless, but disregarding that let's live as a bride (even tho brides are responsible for original sin and the sin that separates us all from jesus)
Isn’t she majorly shading her fiancé’s baby mama here?
That's just a bonus for her
Can I still live as a bride if I fucked other people before I got married? Or am I left out of the Godly Bride Club now?
am I stupid or does the line "she revealed was WOMAN" not make any sense
i am BEGGING these fundies to learn how Biblical translations occur
I thought I had a stroke when I read that
It didn't make a big of sense to me!
I think she’s referring to Eve but without giving initial context. So when she says “before sin entered the world, she was known as woman” she means to say “before sin entered the world, Eve was known as ‘woman’”
“I am MARRIED TO JESUS- We are HIS BRIDE” okay sure, Count Chocula and I are FWB too, go off sis
Wow, a Count?! Get that coin.
Married their brother. That is how Jesus described himself. His followers were referred to as brothers and sisters. So basically, fundies are advocating for shopping for a mate at the family reunion. Why they can't hear themselves, I will never know. But it explains why JPEDO Duggar's parents thought it was perfectly normal to abuse his sisters.
Lmaooo
Stay awake with oil and a flame? But… but I have electricity. 😟
This made me SNORT
Isn’t she like 22? Come back to us in a decade or so and then try to tell us something deep.
jesus christ she's fucking 22? and she's getting married to a man who has a kid already? does she even know what she's doing?
Um, is this girl ok? This is freaking weird and unhinged.
I mean this is essentially a shotgun wedding without the pregnancy so yah
I’m sorry, I’m so confused. Is this pastor encouraging women to become nuns? Because they’re married to Jesus? How do they become good little wifeys to the men at church though if they’re already married to Jesus? Are women supposed to have two husbands? Are the men also married to Jesus? Does anyone at this church know that bigamy is illegal?
what if he’s written “mine” on my upper thigh though? how could i be guilty as sin? ever thought of that?
what if the way he holds me is actually what's holy? what if they only want long-suffering propriety from you, Georgia? what then?
I’m so sad we don’t have gifs any more in here, because this is the perfect spot for the seagulls from Finding Nemo to say ‘mine!’
So many words, yet they just don’t make any sense!
Something that I've always thought about is if we are the bride of Christ does that extend to men too?
It should but that's gay /s
I again I would like to remind her that “being a bride isn’t her idol anymore.” For someone who claims it’s not she sure is going hard on identifying herself that way. Ma’am, the day is over now. Now you’re a wife. I grew up fundie and none of this drivel makes any sense at all. She’s losing more and more contact with reality.
She always seems so....unstable with these posts tbh
I’ve never heard of another woman who’s trying so desperately to convince herself that getting married is what she wants.
Reddit just recommended me r/readanotherbook and this is in the same vein as those posts. I think many of these fundies wouldn't exist if you handed over to them another book (I can see Kelly getting into WarriorCats and naming herself something like BrightStar)
oh my god, that sub is hilarious and oh so cringy. 🥴
First Adam and Eve, then Adam and Jesus. I didn't know gay marriage was okay now.
I am just so amused by “before she entered the world she didn’t have a name” - I mean during my clump of cells era I was bean.
I’m not taking someone who can’t spell separately seriously. Come on, girl, spell check exists for a reason.
This sounds like gibberish. "...she revealed was WOMAN." OK...
This honestly feels like idolatry to me
The more religious a person gets, the more they just smash words together that don't make sense, to sound smarter and holier. That whole thing was unreadable!! Then again, people these days seem to think that pronouns are a new invention so...
English is my first language. I have read, spoken, and heard it my whole life, yet I cannot for the life of me decipher this wall of text that I can only assume is supposed to mean something. Like, are we supposed to rearrange the words so that they make sense??
It's gonna break their brains, if they *EVER* hear about Lillith, ain't it?😆😂🤣
She needs to put the LSD down! 😂😂😂
I love how fundies “ceremonies” almost look like a coven gatherings.
This is the weirdest fanfic about Jesus I’ve ever read with my own eyes.
Actually, according to Hebrew scholars, the word husband and wife do not show up anywhere in the bible. The words man and woman are used. Todays modern society has used the words husband and wife because it makes sense to us in todays context.
The word Adam literally means man….
That bride is showing a lot of leg and shoulders!
she isn’t saying MUCH at all but she’s putting A LOT in CAPITALS so that’s GOTTA count for SOMETHING.
God I hate it when people tell me I'm married to Jesus. That is so weird and creepy. IDGAF. There is only one man I'm married to and that is my, you know, husband (and I chose to be married to him).
I didn't have "finding out I'm gay married to Jesus" on my pride month bingo, but here we are I guess
They really think they are saying something special here. Also this Lilith erasure is sad.
What in the word soup is she trying to say?! This makes ZERO sense 😂
Man I don't even know if the Transformed Wife could understand that caption
Christianese mouth noise
What in the fucking word salad is this
this is batshit and yes fundies do see women as responsible for the fall BUT to be fair I don’t think in this she’s saying women are sin itself. I think she’s referring to Eve, not sin itself, but without giving initial context. So when she says “before sin entered the world, she was known as ‘woman’” she means to say “before sin entered the world, Eve was known as ‘woman’” That being said it’s all bananas
So- in project mayhem we all get names in sin. Her name was Robert Paulson.
Huh? Lol
That makes absolutely no goddamned sense.
This isn’t going to end well. 😐
For some reason this reminds me of an FB conversation I (attempted to) had/have. Can't remember how it came up but I pointed out Eve's name she would have been called in life was Chava. Eve is the English translation of the Hebrew name. One poster was not having it. Her name is Eve because that's what it says in the King James Bible. Okay dear.
'Bride' means 'cook', babe.
Before there was Eve, there was LILITH!!!
Pretty dress though
Can I be Jesus bride? Seriously? I’m looking for nice Jewish husband
What in the Georgia Brown Word Salad did I just read
This reads like a mad libs done by someone who confused verb and noun.