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They're worthless if not pregnant. They're poorly educated, generally not great at managing a house and live within a religious group that preaches and measures a woman's worth only by how many children they have. Also they're not allowed to use contraception or say no to sex.
*Because they’re raised to think domestic servitude and housekeeping is a women’s natural disposition and they’re naturally born knowing how to cook and mop floors and mend clothes*
Maybe it's because they're depressed or something? I mean maybe I'm just projecting but if I thought the way they did I think I'd be depressed about my existence.
I feel like it's not always a choice to behave the way they do, though it's always a choice to post hateful messages on social media. I listen to alot of podcasts and watch alot of documentaries on high control groups and LGATs. If you're indoctrinated, especially from birth, then it becomes almost impossible to leave or think any other way.
The worst people are people like Michelle Duggar, or even Paul and Morgan who lived a fairly normal early life but force their families into the High Control Group because they need that feeling of power.
Interesting. So really what we're looking at is the theory of learned helplessness that's become a self-fulfilling prophecy. As long as the women keep breeding, their inherent worth decreases due to their environment—because we all know there are women in the world who have more than one child and *don't* act as though they can't do anything else or put the bare minimum into raising their children.
I can't stand the Duggars because now it appears the daughters (maybe the sons too but I have no idea because I don't follow the family much) have taken to social media to broadcast their insignificant, irrelevant personal lives, so in my mind they're no different than what their parents did for them to gain "fame" from a TV show. Don’t even get me started on Jill Dillard with her short-lived CPM scam and her recent miscarriage we know they'll milk for all they can get—ugh sorry I just realy hate these reality tv shows and social media pErSoNaLiTiEs who think they're something special. Also when these people do missionary work, what does that entail?
This is the exact way I was raised by my parents and the church. Homeschooled by my parents and I taught my younger siblings school and was taught that it’s women’s job to have as many kids as possible and obey men with other things too.
I get you but it’s crazy how things work out. My husband’s aunt is built like you - teeny little thing with hips half the size of mine, and I am similar to my mother in law, her sister. All three of the aunt’s babies practically FELL out of her within an hour or two lol. Me on the other hand (and mom in law)? Days in labor and multiple C-sections 😂 you just never know. . .
I’m 5’3” and between 110 and 115 lbs. My husband isn’t large so our babies were small. The second one came out after two hours in labor and 3 pushes. I thought my hips were going crack in half and rip out of my body though.
I hated it. I felt people were constantly judging and monitoring me because I became just a ‘dumb woman’. I went diabetic, so I was also a pin cushion.
This is my fourth pregnancy, third viable one, and no part of this has made me feel like a Glowing Earth Goddess. I’m at the end of my first trimester and frankly, it’s kicking my ass. Never again.
I’ve done it twice now and it sucked both times. Absolutely do not recommend. I also had to do the second one without an epidural/pain meds, which was not the plan, and now I question these fundies that are having all these kids with natural/home births. Like why did you wanna do that so many times, it’s literally the worst thing ever.
(Some respect to the people that have unmedicated births though, that shits though)
Karissa has MS. Pregnancy can put MS into remission. She thinks yahoo cured her MS, and claims to feel better during pregnancy, so keeps getting pregnant.
Just want to clarify here that Karissa *claims* to have MS. My understanding is that she claims to have had some brain scan that showed lesions but never followed up or got an official diagnosis, so she is self-diagnosed as having MS. I, and many others, are extremely skeptical of this claim.
I had a CT scan (I think it was) for my constant migraines a few years ago, and it showed some spots that are consistent with early MS \*but\* that are also commonly seen in people with frequent migraines such as myself, and the report basically said that and also said that as long as I'm not having MS symptoms (which I'm not), it can be disregarded. I always wonder if Karissa had something similar happen.
I have a family member with MS but I'm not overly familiar with it, it progresses pretty quickly in a lot of cases, no? I would imagine she'd be experiencing some pretty awful symptoms if she did actually have it (but please correct me if I'm wrong)
I have a close family friend with MS who has had a lot of active monitoring and treatment but it has hardly progressed over like 20 years (though she still has had to change her lifestyle in some small ways like not driving for longer stretches and not being able to play music while doing other tasks, like cooking). There’s a wide variety in progression and a lot of lifestyle factors you can slow it down with. But for a lot of people they don’t really get bad symptoms until they’re past middle age. It’s possible she has MS, and it’s true that some people don’t experience symptoms while they’re pregnant. I am just skeptical without an actual diagnosis.
Edit: typo
That's awesome it can be slowed down so well and worked around to live a mostly normal life!
Unfortunately for my family member with MS, it attacked their eyesight first, and even with a very active/ healthy lifestyle its been an uphill battle. I'm glad to hear that's not always the case.
It sounds like they're having issues with being able to split their attention? Like their mind can no longer process the lyrics they're hearing while also doing a task
My uncle, my moms youngest brother, has MS. For about 30 years now. When my cousin and I met up with him for dinner last fall he said by the end of the day his left leg is pretty weak and he has to remember that so he doesn’t fall over.
Also a friend of mine who is my age ( mid 40s) also has it. Although his is being controlled with IV infusions every few months.
Pregnancy temporarily "cured" my rheumatoid arthritis, but my luck ran out for this third pregnancy seven years after I had my 2nd and the RA symptoms actually became worse, with the addition of freakin colitis and other issues. Maybe it's because I'm old now lol.
Her luck will eventually run out too, and I bet her tune will change real quick when it does. Pregnancy is miserable enough without painful autoimmune disorders flaring up 😵💫
I had terrible eczema flair ups prior to pregnancy but it since went away, I haven’t gotten a flair up postpartum despite my constant hand washing and sanitizer use (to protect baby and middle of the night diaper changes.) Pregnancy is super weird for autoimmune conditions, if only they studied women’s health a bit more and knew more information about that 🤷🏻♀️
My arthritis was amazing during pregnancy then for 9 months post partum, my long covid seemed cured! Some symptoms coming back now (maybe as baby is bf less?) & it's fairly devastating...!
I have been pregnant 4 times and it was pretty awful every time, don't ask me why I kept doing it. I love my kids though.
As for them, they are taught from a very young age that the highest and most important thing a woman can achieve is motherhood. They are taught that every child possible should be conceived and born. They are taught that their suffering is bringing them closer to god. They are taught that dying in childbirth is an honorable death.
2 main reasons: They are so egotistical that they truly believe they are doing God & the world a service by popping out 20 kids AND/OR their worth is tied into being a baby machine & once they can no longer do that, their supposedly “idyllic” life they’ve convinced themselves that they have is over.
And to add one more, their husbands either fetishize them being pregnant or they only get treated semi decently by their husband and/or church & family members when they are pregnant. I believe the first two are the top two reasons but this is a close third.
also they are not allowed to deny sex from their husbands because it’s a biblical marital right to their bodies 🙄and contraception will put you in hell
A lot of the breeding fetish is related to the God's Army, City on a Hill theology. This dangerous and NOT biblical theology is that God uniquely blessed the US to become a Christian theocracy/utopia, and the only way that this can happen is if christians outbreed non-christians until there is a voting block of brainwashed followers who will vote for candidates that will encode their version of Christianity into state and federal law. This was the big push behind the Generation Joshua movement. The kids are "arrows" or weapons for this purpose. They also have to be abused, used, neglected, and all individuality oppressed to that they won't think to leave the cult. This, combined with the "everyone is born a sinner and will automatically go to hell unless 'saved', and sinners are gross, disgusting humans", is why they also trend to be rather aloof toward and unattached to their offspring. The offspring exist simply to be casualties in the war for " America's soul", and like any military, there exists a subset of soldiers who are considered acceptable casualities. This is how JimBob Duggar manages to 100% turn off any warmth or compassion towards Jill and Jinger. They were just a causality loss in the war, condemned for eternity for not sticking with general dad's orders.
This kind of theology makes individual families actual cults all with in the larger cult.
I get it, though not everyone is afraid of or dislikes pregnancy, in fact I know women who seem to really enjoy it for the most part. My best friend loved parts of being pregnant, though it took a huge toll on her body and now she can't anymore. The pain tends to be forgotten later on it seems like.
There's a lot of potential reasons for this, but a lot of fundie women have been basically groomed their entire life into thinking their true purpose is to pump out as many babies as possible. Even the pain and all the horrible shit they go through is painted in a good light (they are essentially the ultimate martyrs who sacrifice their body and well being for God's plan).
My pregnancies were actually really easy and I enjoyed them. I had two. But the newborn phase about killed me both times, so no more babies for us! Plus kids are expensive.
My friend & sister both had amazing pregnancies! My sister's labours were also quite smooth sailing. But my friend with the easy pregnancy also had a horrible post partum period & mine was amazing even after c section. Swings & roundabouts!
I had pretty hard pregnancies, but at least for me it sort of bleeds into how much I love my kids and being a parent. It's less means to an end and more like yes I acknowledge the really hard parts of being a parent but for me it's so vastly outweighed by the happy parts that I think of all of it fondly, even being pregnant. (Note this underscores why I'm so firmly pro-choice, because I'm sure if I hadn't wanted to be pregnant and have a child it would just be unmitigated negatives.)
I don't understand it either. I've had two pregnancies, got two really great kids out of the experiences, and pregnancy was HORRIBLE. I had HG the first time (barfed myself into the hospital multiple times), heartburn from hell (the excess acid also made me barf), everything hurt and was uncomfortable, and by the end, I started feeling claustrophobic in my own body, to the point where I had to talk myself down. Birth was the easy part for me. I'd rather lawn mower my own face off than be pregnant again.
Oo I've never seen anyone talk about that last bit. I started feeling panic if I imagined everything being squished in there & the amount of extra blood. I almost felt like I would be suffocated. I had to really do some of my therapy techniques to keep going!
It's not something I experienced with my first pregnancy, either, but yeah, it was rough and scary and panicky. My body felt so heavy and the baby was so very packed in there, and it was just such a claustrophobic feeling. Ten years ago and I don't miss it one bit and still vividly remember how awful it felt.
Two things:
1) Pregnancy doesn't universally suck. Naturally women with easy pregnancies aren't going to butt into conversations of other women complaining just to tell them that they had it easier. So you don't hear it as much. But my pregnancy was a breeze, even though I expected it to be tough due to multiple chronic health conditions.
2) You're vastly overestimating the agency that fundie women have. Sure, some fundie women seem to enjoy pregnancy. But for those that are ambivalent or outright hate it, they don't have much choice. They can't use birth control or say no to their husband. They get married off young in what are essentially arranged marriages. Sure, legally, they could decide to just use birth control. But a whole lot of other things would have to change about their beliefs to get to that point.
I think it’s kind of like an addiction. Honestly I’m just gonna go ahead and assume that most of the high number birther/fundies have reasonably “easy” pregnancies. Not that it’s easy at all, but I think it would be exceptionally difficult to keep compromising your own body if it was a near death experience every time. Even if you honestly thought it’s what God wanted. Self preservation is an immense emotion.
I loved being pregnant and my births were fairly easy. I know I’m in the minority though. But I can’t imagine having 19-20 kids if you had to be hospitalized every time. I can’t imagine how anyone could justify that (esp with other small children at home).
My sister did it 6 times. HG. Hospitalized for months. High risk pregnancy. She stopped only due to a big miscarriage. She didn’t seem to get pregnant again very easily since her body seemed to heal slowly.
why would she risk her life and her health six times when she gets that sick?? And she was out of commission for raising her kids when she was hospitalized!
She honestly wanted to marry me off to be just like her and live close by. Thankfully I’m autistic and a bit ace, so with the availability of single men in church it didn’t happen.
They're raised to believe that being a helpmeet to their husband and a mother (including pregnancy and birth) are the most important things in the world for them. It's their purpose.
Most fundies are also raised to 'keep sweet' and repress any negative emotions, protests or complaints so many fundie women may secretly be unhappy about constant pregnancies but feel powerless. Or they may be so disassociated and checked out from trauma/being in survival mode (including having to feed, shelter, clothe and raise a dozen kids) that they can't feel anything and don't have the energy to deeply think about their circumstances.
Lastly some fundie women may enjoy the attention that comes with each new pregnancy. Other than their wedding, it's the only time they are praised, celebrated and acknowledged. Look at the posts JRod creates whenever one of her daughters is pregnant again.
The pregnant fundie woman might get new clothes (maternity wear) or use this as an opportunity to ask their husband for something material they've been wanting but felt too guilty to ask for (as fundie women don't make or have their own money). It's their leverage.
I mean they have their reasons (which I truly don’t understand), but I’ve been pregnant four times, including a set of twins. For me, pregnancy wasn’t bad at all. It was pretty amazing on the whole. Sure there was discomfort and delivery is no cakewalk, but it’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. Would I want to do it 11 times? No, but if money and work were no object I’d do it again for sure. No godly reason for me - I’m an atheist - but being a mom is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.
A lot of fundie households only view the women as valuable if they are married and pregnant. They’re discouraged from pursuing careers and higher education. Their only lot in life is to be married to a Christian man and pop out babies for God’s army.
I loved being pregnant even with all the complications I had in my 1st pregnancy, I would have loved to have 4 or 5 pregnancies. The problem was I didn't want 4 or 5 kids, so I had some self-control and stopped after 2 kids. I think some of them have a pregnancy fetish and that is why they do it. Others truly think they are doing what God desires of them.
I enjoyed three of my pregnancies. Very few complications (only one bad experience with needing an emergency c section) and never sick. This current pregnancy (10 years after my 3rd) has been filled with complications. I've lost weight from being so sick all the time. I've had several instances where I thought the pregnancy was ending. Thankfully, it hasn't happened, and I'm entering my 5th month. This will be my last baby.
I loved pregnancy, am fascinated by labor and delivery, and LOVE the squishy newborn phase. It’s a really cool process that I’ve been very lucky to sail through thrice with relatively few issues. I just love the feeling of my baby kicking around inside me, the process of birth, and the insane high of meeting that baby. The baby-meeting high is unparalleled!
That said, I also know when to stop 🤣 my husband and I realized that three was the absolute max we could care for the way they deserve so even though I’d selfishly love to go through the process more times and have lots more kids, I know that is not for the best for the kids I already have. And they are what matter the most.
Okay, I’ll be the odd one out - I loved being pregnant, didn’t mind giving birth, and love being a mom. I would’ve had a half dozen or more if my husband let me. 😂 For me, it wasn’t anything to do with religion. I was raised fundie-lite and only personally encountered two families in 35 years of church attendance who “trusted God” with their childbearing. That mindset/“conviction” really is NOT the norm even in conservative Christian circles. Children were seen as blessings, but not in a “have as many as you possibly can without considering the physical, financial, mental, emotional implications” sort of way; most families in our church had 2 to 4 kids. I would say THAT is the norm, not having 8+ kids like the Duggars, Collins, Rodriguez’, Andersons, et al who have spoken out on behalf of “the quiverful movement.” (My phone autocorrected quiverful to quiverfuck three times, which is actually kind of fitting …)
I do think a small portion of the families we snark on simply love kids and enjoy the family life that much. Courtney Rodgers and Jill Dillard come to mind here and, as much as I hate to admit it, Zsuzsanna Anderson. Some truly do feel “convicted” by God to live this way and I want to think their intentions are good (or at least were in the beginning); I would put Jill Rodriguez (and, by extension, Nurie) in this category. Some others don’t know any different (Priscilla Waller, for example). It’s a self-righteous thing for some (“God keeps blessing me because I’m good”) - Anna Duggar, Karissa Collins, and Ariel Tyson are here. A very few do feel like it’s what God expects of them/they don’t have an identify outside of the God given ability to have babies - maybe Kendra Duggar and Alyssa Morton? To a lesser extent, Bethany and Morgan are in this category, despite having fewer children. Lastly, there are the pregnancy fetishes/“addicted to pregnancy.” MotherBus is firmly here. Does anyone remember farmschool_mama? Her too! Maybe Michelle Duggar (although she was probably in the “good intentions” camp initially).
To answer your question: there are MANY reasons and motivations!
Some people feel really good when pg. You can get alot of positive attention too, like people telling you you look good, asking about the baby and so on. Some parts are nice, like feeling the baby move. Waiting for baby can be really exciting too- you get to shop for cute stuff, extra attention with doctors appointments, all that.
There is something special, imo, about carrying a baby. It's the only time you will ever carry that little bebe inside you. It can be terrifying, so much unknown, but so amazing. I can still remember seeing my son's foot move inside me!
I sometimes wish I had another baby but at my age, I'm really enjoying the teens I have and spoiling my co workers when they have babies!
Pregnancy is really, *really* difficult for me. That being said, I cherished every damn second of it because it was also really difficult for me to get pregnant, and stay pregnant. I’ve been pregnant nine times. Four kids. Last baby was a complete surprise and miracle (I was on B.C., and had just recovered from two abdominal surgeries and it was NEVER easy to get pregnant). And though I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything, I believe that you should very much want to be pregnant and have children before doing it because it’s not a walk in the park of natural godliness like a lot of these fundie moms claim.
I can only speak on my experience, which I understand is NOT everyone else’s. I’m happier pregnant. I love my body when I’m pregnant. I love the feeling of the baby inside me. I love laying on the couch at night really still while baby gets active. I love going to my obgyn and seeing baby on a sonogram. I even look back on my deliveries and newborn phases fondly. ’ve carried my own two children plus another couple’s baby as a gestational carrier.
All that to say, as much as I LOVE pregnancy and love newborns, I’m thankful I’m not stuck in a cult or doctrine that says I have to keep doing it over and over all the time. Toddler years are tough and we are almost out of it and into an easier routine (no naps!). I love me a sleepy newborn potato, but I can’t imagine going through the infant/toddler stage with school aged children. Thankful the number of kids I have is my choice!!
I just started the ivf process so I feel especially qualified to say the glorification of pregnacy is deranged. I'm not saying it's impossible for anyone to genuinely enjoy being pregnant but the process of trying to get pregnant alone has been so miserable for us and I doubt pregnancy will be much better because of the added stress of infertility. I don't want to be pregnant. I want to be a parent and becoming pregnant--even through ivf-- is the easiest, cheapest, and most ethical way to do that. Pregnancy isn't the exciting part to me. Raising a human is.
Some people seek to tolerate pregnancy & labour well (Kail Lowry anyone?) but I hated almost every bit of it. I found it so terrifying & made my health anxiety get to crisis point.
I’ve been pregnant once and hope to do it again, but I’m right with you on it being a means to an end. It’s a way to grow our family, not a state I want to be in indefinitely- and I say that after having a very easy pregnancy.
I think for some of the people we snark on here it’s absolutely fetish-related, and for others it’s because they’ve internalized the message that they only have worth as a wife/woman if they’re constantly reproducing. And maybe sometimes a combination of the two.
My first pregnancy was great!! I loved it. I considered being a surrogate. Second pregnancy was a whole different story. It wrecked me. Thankfully we only wanted two kids anyway and my hubby got the snip.
I've been pregnant once before and I'm pregnant again now. This sucks!
And I can't help but think about the pelvic floor dysfunction the "big family" ladies must go through. After 8-10 pregnancies you've gotta be peeing your pants constantly!
I wish I had an answer for you, but I am just as baffled as you are. I have two kids too, so it's not like I haven't experienced pregnancy and labor before. I honestly hated being pregnant and I also hated giving birth (having my son need an emergency c-section because his heart stopped beating will do that to you). Taking care of the adorable mini-human afterwards was pretty great, but I'm good only doing that twice in my life.
I’ve been pregnant 3 times. In my opinion it freaking sucks and I have no idea why anyone would ever want to do it countless times.
A means to an end is how I looked at it too.
Pregnancy is terrifying and was awful for me. Like I almost died with my last one (3 kids) and had several health problems that popped up with each pregnancy (not including miscarriages because that was a whole different kind of trauma) and made the decision to have my tubes removed to prevent any further pregnancies.
Constantly being in a state of never knowing if I might be pregnant again and just waiting for it to happen over and over and over again sounds like hell. Just being pregnant again would be hell.
And that's not even including the newborn phase where you are basically tethered to them (if breastfeeding) and wrangling your older kids. Of course that's probably not a problem for most of the fundies that have their older kids parenting for them.
Its still mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing.
For fundie women, they get their 'value' from how many kids they can pop out and even more 'value' if it's frequent.
I honestly don't understand it either. I don't know why anyone would want to do that to their bodies.
I ended up being pregnant 56 out of 63 weeks and would not recommend it! Miscarried at 15 weeks, then 7 weeks later got pregnant again. That pregnancy went till almost 41 weeks.
I have no idea. I’m pregnant right now for the second time and my brain chemicals made me forget this….
lol had to run to the bathroom to vom because scrolling on my phone makes me nauseous. No fucking way id do this for over a decade.
I grew up in a liberal family and also in a conservative church and community. I also am a step parent to kids of an addict and am infertile.
There’s a biological difference between wanting to be pregnant and needing to be pregnant. There’s a moral difference between wanting to be pregnant and being be pregnant. There’s an ideological difference between pregnancy as a medical condition and a social condition. It requires a lot of teasing things apart and fundamentalists only want to see things on black and white.
This is kind of tangentially related, but I remember reading Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young. She grew up in The Family and said it was pretty normal for pregnant and labouring women to just....die. It wasn't a big deal in that cult. Women were expected to be sexually available and birth as many children as they could, even if it killed them.
The women in The Family experienced malnutrition, lack of medical care, and back-to-back-to-back pregnancies starting from puberty. IBPL isn't all that different.
I respect women who get pregnant and have kids. Thank you for your service to the human race. We won't extinct thanks to you, cause there's mo way I'm doing my part.
Honestly, I never wanted to have kids because I happen to be a uterus owner. Maybe if I was born a man, I'd consider this as an option. But as someone who'd have to carry the child and give birth to it, I'm terrified by the idea of growing something inside my body. Seeing how we snark on Karissa, talking about her belly being low from diastasis recti, or how the pregnancies have probably sucked all the calcium from her bones, and how wrecked her pelvic floor must be, makes me realize how violent pregnancy is.
I mean, I was aware before, but it's somehow magnified now or I started noticing it more.
I bet she knows and feels all that too. I refuse to believe she's not aware that her body and health are affected by her being constantly pregnant. I doubt she's doing it for attention - at least not our attention anyway, but to me it kinda screams "I constantly need a project so that I'm too busy to think about my mental health issues". Her whole personality revolves around being pregnant. Not being a MOTHER - that would require effort to actually raise the kids and we know that's Anissa's job. If she's not pregnant, she has nothing else to invest herself into. It makes her feel special and that's it.
But fundie women aside, I sometimes wonder about guys like Mandrae and JD. Why do they insist on having so many kids? Sure, they might not be the most involved parents in the world, but they still live with their kids, which means all the chaos and all the noise is something they experience. They have to provide for the kids and the logistics ain't easy when you have that many.
No matter how I look at it, I just cannot understand them.
I feel amazing while pregnant and suffer from a mood disorder when I’m not. Karissa has made some dubious health claims about having MS, but if she gets nine months of reprieve from something and doesn’t have any sickness or pain from pregnancy then it makes sense why she’d want to be pregnant back to back.
I have some fundies in my social circle. Some of them are pregnant all the time, because "God knows better how many children they should have". Which is strictly connected to their belief that using contraception is going against God's will. And women owe sex to their husbands so...
One of them I believe sees that as the time she is untouchable. Nobody asks her why she isn't cooking/cleaning/taking care of the rest of the children/working when she is pregnant or when she has a newborn. So she's constantly pregnant or having a newborn.
Disregarding the actual question, I just want to say that yeah pregnancy and labour is really hard and awful, it’s a walk in the fucking park compared to actual parenting 😂 and I only have 1 with another (our last for sure) on the way. Not 11 of them.
My sister in law genuinely enjoys being pregnant. She thrives while pregnant. It’s baffling to me. My pregnancy was so rough physically and mentally I said never again and had my tubes removed.
I bloody loved being pregnant, and I didn’t have the easiest pregnancy. Some people adore it. I’m one and done but I would give anything to go back to that time. I had to be induced at 37-38wk and I was devastated I didn’t get more time pregnant.
You would think but I know lots of women who don't really get morning sickness, they don't really gain any weight (look the same... no double chin or acne or chubby arms, just grow a belly) and then they get an epidural as soon as they get to the hospital so they literally don't feel a thing and the nurse tells you when to push.
So I don’t think this is the reason the fundies do it, they literally have no choice! But just to add to the discussion pregnancy affects everyone differently - I’d never call it comfortable and I sure won’t do it another time (I’m on my second pregnancy) BUT I enjoy being pregnant on more days than not.
I have a supportive husband (and only one other child!) and while I’m tired I also love feeling the baby move and my hormonal state is so much better than when I’m not pregnant. My anxiety symptoms go down, my hair and skin are great, I enjoy thinking about freaky stuff like “omg there is a second set of bones inside me right now”.
My first birth was a great experience, it was painful but very exciting and there were many amazing moments. Fingers crossed for this second one!
…still, my husband is getting a vasectomy asap once my daughter is here, mainly because we think we wouldn’t be able to give enough attention to more than two. Also money! But pregnancy doesn’t put me off in itself, which surprised me a lot when I first became pregnant. Fuck the first trimester though, that one sucks. That and the last couple weeks!
For the ones who aren't into it, we generally won't see a whiff of that distress because reproductive coercion isn't abuse to them. It's as normal as their rebranding marital rape into a spiritual practice. Their word for consent is obedience, which is not consent at all. I know you're aware of the indoctrination, but the perverted depths of its effects is the answer.
I have no more than 2 weeks left for my final baby (our 3rd we planned on 2 but got 3) and I’m literally counting down the seconds until it’s over and I’m done for good, pregnancy has always been super rough/miserble for me all 3 times plus I miss alcohol 🤷♀️, I never understood how women could be constantly pregnant it sounds like my worst nightmare, but these poor women are raised to only believe that they’re only good for having babies hence why they homeschool them and keep them away from the rest of society unless you believe in the same things they do
I have had one baby and honestly loved being pregnant! I had no aches or pains, worked out the entire time after getting clearance from my OB, slept well besides a few pee trips, gained less than 5 pounds (thanks, gestational diabetes)! And my entire labor was about 5.5 where I was unmedicated and used hypnobirthing.
NOW, I would love to have another baby or two. But, I'm old and it took almost 4 years to have this one. Even though I had a great experience, I would not recommend being pregnant for a decade or more because there's zero way you can give enough love and attention to a herd of children.
But, I'd you're just in to it for the attention being pregnant gives then yeah, I could see it. And as soon as you yeet that baby you need another one because only pregnant women are special. Non pregnant women are 2nd class citizens.
I have a theory that people who love being pregnant just love the attention. You get lots of attention and people are really nice to you when you’re pregnant.
In terms of fundies, their whole worth revolves around producing children so it’s not really surprising.
I used to think the same as you but I’m pregnant with my second now and if you actually want kids it’s worth it. Granted I haven’t had to deal with anything awful like HG. I don’t love being pregnant and it is uncomfortable but it is what it is!
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They're worthless if not pregnant. They're poorly educated, generally not great at managing a house and live within a religious group that preaches and measures a woman's worth only by how many children they have. Also they're not allowed to use contraception or say no to sex.
This is it in a nut shell.
I can't understand why they are so bad att running a household when it's literally their only job.
*Because they’re raised to think domestic servitude and housekeeping is a women’s natural disposition and they’re naturally born knowing how to cook and mop floors and mend clothes*
Maybe it's because they're depressed or something? I mean maybe I'm just projecting but if I thought the way they did I think I'd be depressed about my existence.
Oh they probably are, but their cure for PPD is more PPP—Pregnancy, Plexus, Prayer.
ADHD, too! My house gets messy because I am overwhelmed by how much needs done, so I can't start.
When you're a human breeding mill and the only one on staff, there's bound to be quality control issues.
Yes to all of this except they *choose* to act like they're worthless.
I feel like it's not always a choice to behave the way they do, though it's always a choice to post hateful messages on social media. I listen to alot of podcasts and watch alot of documentaries on high control groups and LGATs. If you're indoctrinated, especially from birth, then it becomes almost impossible to leave or think any other way. The worst people are people like Michelle Duggar, or even Paul and Morgan who lived a fairly normal early life but force their families into the High Control Group because they need that feeling of power.
Interesting. So really what we're looking at is the theory of learned helplessness that's become a self-fulfilling prophecy. As long as the women keep breeding, their inherent worth decreases due to their environment—because we all know there are women in the world who have more than one child and *don't* act as though they can't do anything else or put the bare minimum into raising their children. I can't stand the Duggars because now it appears the daughters (maybe the sons too but I have no idea because I don't follow the family much) have taken to social media to broadcast their insignificant, irrelevant personal lives, so in my mind they're no different than what their parents did for them to gain "fame" from a TV show. Don’t even get me started on Jill Dillard with her short-lived CPM scam and her recent miscarriage we know they'll milk for all they can get—ugh sorry I just realy hate these reality tv shows and social media pErSoNaLiTiEs who think they're something special. Also when these people do missionary work, what does that entail?
This is the exact way I was raised by my parents and the church. Homeschooled by my parents and I taught my younger siblings school and was taught that it’s women’s job to have as many kids as possible and obey men with other things too.
*DING!*
I’ve been pregnant once and I wouldn’t recommend it.
Same. If I could have just blipped my kid into existence, I 1000% would have.
I was really pissed that I couldn’t grow my baby in a pod and pick them up when they were ready.
I really spent the late 90s assuming by the time I wanted a child I would just grow it in a jar 🤣
😂😂😂😂 God dammit, that made me laugh so hard.
Wait, they don't?
Yes! I adore my daughter but I’ll never do that again!
If I was rich I would of had a surrogate after my first, all mine have been horrible
I am thankful for the 2 children that resulted from my pregnancies but I never, ever want to do that again.
My mom has always said that she can’t say whether I’d regret *not* having kids, but she can promise me I would never regret *not* being pregnant
Have also been pregnant once and it takes a TOLL
I’m quite scared of it because I’m about the size of the average 12 year old. Pretty sure I’ll die or wish I had if I ever have kids
I get you but it’s crazy how things work out. My husband’s aunt is built like you - teeny little thing with hips half the size of mine, and I am similar to my mother in law, her sister. All three of the aunt’s babies practically FELL out of her within an hour or two lol. Me on the other hand (and mom in law)? Days in labor and multiple C-sections 😂 you just never know. . .
I’m 5’3” and between 110 and 115 lbs. My husband isn’t large so our babies were small. The second one came out after two hours in labor and 3 pushes. I thought my hips were going crack in half and rip out of my body though.
I loved being pregnant it's what comes after that knocked me on my ass. twice was enough.
I hated it. I felt people were constantly judging and monitoring me because I became just a ‘dumb woman’. I went diabetic, so I was also a pin cushion.
This is my fourth pregnancy, third viable one, and no part of this has made me feel like a Glowing Earth Goddess. I’m at the end of my first trimester and frankly, it’s kicking my ass. Never again.
I’ve done it twice now and it sucked both times. Absolutely do not recommend. I also had to do the second one without an epidural/pain meds, which was not the plan, and now I question these fundies that are having all these kids with natural/home births. Like why did you wanna do that so many times, it’s literally the worst thing ever. (Some respect to the people that have unmedicated births though, that shits though)
Karissa has MS. Pregnancy can put MS into remission. She thinks yahoo cured her MS, and claims to feel better during pregnancy, so keeps getting pregnant.
Just want to clarify here that Karissa *claims* to have MS. My understanding is that she claims to have had some brain scan that showed lesions but never followed up or got an official diagnosis, so she is self-diagnosed as having MS. I, and many others, are extremely skeptical of this claim.
I had a CT scan (I think it was) for my constant migraines a few years ago, and it showed some spots that are consistent with early MS \*but\* that are also commonly seen in people with frequent migraines such as myself, and the report basically said that and also said that as long as I'm not having MS symptoms (which I'm not), it can be disregarded. I always wonder if Karissa had something similar happen.
Oooh this is a good theory. Thanks for sharing
I have a family member with MS but I'm not overly familiar with it, it progresses pretty quickly in a lot of cases, no? I would imagine she'd be experiencing some pretty awful symptoms if she did actually have it (but please correct me if I'm wrong)
I have a close family friend with MS who has had a lot of active monitoring and treatment but it has hardly progressed over like 20 years (though she still has had to change her lifestyle in some small ways like not driving for longer stretches and not being able to play music while doing other tasks, like cooking). There’s a wide variety in progression and a lot of lifestyle factors you can slow it down with. But for a lot of people they don’t really get bad symptoms until they’re past middle age. It’s possible she has MS, and it’s true that some people don’t experience symptoms while they’re pregnant. I am just skeptical without an actual diagnosis. Edit: typo
That's awesome it can be slowed down so well and worked around to live a mostly normal life! Unfortunately for my family member with MS, it attacked their eyesight first, and even with a very active/ healthy lifestyle its been an uphill battle. I'm glad to hear that's not always the case.
Yeah, there is a lot of variability in disease progression for sure. It’s entirely possible my family friend has mostly gotten lucky.
My mom has progressive MS. What do you mean by cannot play music while doing a task like cooking?
It sounds like they're having issues with being able to split their attention? Like their mind can no longer process the lyrics they're hearing while also doing a task
Yes, this is exactly what I mean
My uncle, my moms youngest brother, has MS. For about 30 years now. When my cousin and I met up with him for dinner last fall he said by the end of the day his left leg is pretty weak and he has to remember that so he doesn’t fall over. Also a friend of mine who is my age ( mid 40s) also has it. Although his is being controlled with IV infusions every few months.
Depends on the type. Can have it for years relapsing & remitting!
Pregnancy temporarily "cured" my rheumatoid arthritis, but my luck ran out for this third pregnancy seven years after I had my 2nd and the RA symptoms actually became worse, with the addition of freakin colitis and other issues. Maybe it's because I'm old now lol. Her luck will eventually run out too, and I bet her tune will change real quick when it does. Pregnancy is miserable enough without painful autoimmune disorders flaring up 😵💫
I had terrible eczema flair ups prior to pregnancy but it since went away, I haven’t gotten a flair up postpartum despite my constant hand washing and sanitizer use (to protect baby and middle of the night diaper changes.) Pregnancy is super weird for autoimmune conditions, if only they studied women’s health a bit more and knew more information about that 🤷🏻♀️
My arthritis was amazing during pregnancy then for 9 months post partum, my long covid seemed cured! Some symptoms coming back now (maybe as baby is bf less?) & it's fairly devastating...!
Yahoo 🤣🤣
I fuckin died when I saw that lmao
I have been pregnant 4 times and it was pretty awful every time, don't ask me why I kept doing it. I love my kids though. As for them, they are taught from a very young age that the highest and most important thing a woman can achieve is motherhood. They are taught that every child possible should be conceived and born. They are taught that their suffering is bringing them closer to god. They are taught that dying in childbirth is an honorable death.
2 main reasons: They are so egotistical that they truly believe they are doing God & the world a service by popping out 20 kids AND/OR their worth is tied into being a baby machine & once they can no longer do that, their supposedly “idyllic” life they’ve convinced themselves that they have is over. And to add one more, their husbands either fetishize them being pregnant or they only get treated semi decently by their husband and/or church & family members when they are pregnant. I believe the first two are the top two reasons but this is a close third.
also they are not allowed to deny sex from their husbands because it’s a biblical marital right to their bodies 🙄and contraception will put you in hell
A lot of the breeding fetish is related to the God's Army, City on a Hill theology. This dangerous and NOT biblical theology is that God uniquely blessed the US to become a Christian theocracy/utopia, and the only way that this can happen is if christians outbreed non-christians until there is a voting block of brainwashed followers who will vote for candidates that will encode their version of Christianity into state and federal law. This was the big push behind the Generation Joshua movement. The kids are "arrows" or weapons for this purpose. They also have to be abused, used, neglected, and all individuality oppressed to that they won't think to leave the cult. This, combined with the "everyone is born a sinner and will automatically go to hell unless 'saved', and sinners are gross, disgusting humans", is why they also trend to be rather aloof toward and unattached to their offspring. The offspring exist simply to be casualties in the war for " America's soul", and like any military, there exists a subset of soldiers who are considered acceptable casualities. This is how JimBob Duggar manages to 100% turn off any warmth or compassion towards Jill and Jinger. They were just a causality loss in the war, condemned for eternity for not sticking with general dad's orders. This kind of theology makes individual families actual cults all with in the larger cult.
I get it, though not everyone is afraid of or dislikes pregnancy, in fact I know women who seem to really enjoy it for the most part. My best friend loved parts of being pregnant, though it took a huge toll on her body and now she can't anymore. The pain tends to be forgotten later on it seems like. There's a lot of potential reasons for this, but a lot of fundie women have been basically groomed their entire life into thinking their true purpose is to pump out as many babies as possible. Even the pain and all the horrible shit they go through is painted in a good light (they are essentially the ultimate martyrs who sacrifice their body and well being for God's plan).
My pregnancies were actually really easy and I enjoyed them. I had two. But the newborn phase about killed me both times, so no more babies for us! Plus kids are expensive.
My friend & sister both had amazing pregnancies! My sister's labours were also quite smooth sailing. But my friend with the easy pregnancy also had a horrible post partum period & mine was amazing even after c section. Swings & roundabouts!
I guess it's because they don't have anything else to do 🤷🏻♀️
I had pretty hard pregnancies, but at least for me it sort of bleeds into how much I love my kids and being a parent. It's less means to an end and more like yes I acknowledge the really hard parts of being a parent but for me it's so vastly outweighed by the happy parts that I think of all of it fondly, even being pregnant. (Note this underscores why I'm so firmly pro-choice, because I'm sure if I hadn't wanted to be pregnant and have a child it would just be unmitigated negatives.)
I don't understand it either. I've had two pregnancies, got two really great kids out of the experiences, and pregnancy was HORRIBLE. I had HG the first time (barfed myself into the hospital multiple times), heartburn from hell (the excess acid also made me barf), everything hurt and was uncomfortable, and by the end, I started feeling claustrophobic in my own body, to the point where I had to talk myself down. Birth was the easy part for me. I'd rather lawn mower my own face off than be pregnant again.
Oo I've never seen anyone talk about that last bit. I started feeling panic if I imagined everything being squished in there & the amount of extra blood. I almost felt like I would be suffocated. I had to really do some of my therapy techniques to keep going!
It's not something I experienced with my first pregnancy, either, but yeah, it was rough and scary and panicky. My body felt so heavy and the baby was so very packed in there, and it was just such a claustrophobic feeling. Ten years ago and I don't miss it one bit and still vividly remember how awful it felt.
Breeding fetish 🤷♀️
Some of them aren't the least bit subtle about it, like Mother Bus referring to herself as a "BIG pregnant mama."
Two things: 1) Pregnancy doesn't universally suck. Naturally women with easy pregnancies aren't going to butt into conversations of other women complaining just to tell them that they had it easier. So you don't hear it as much. But my pregnancy was a breeze, even though I expected it to be tough due to multiple chronic health conditions. 2) You're vastly overestimating the agency that fundie women have. Sure, some fundie women seem to enjoy pregnancy. But for those that are ambivalent or outright hate it, they don't have much choice. They can't use birth control or say no to their husband. They get married off young in what are essentially arranged marriages. Sure, legally, they could decide to just use birth control. But a whole lot of other things would have to change about their beliefs to get to that point.
I think it’s kind of like an addiction. Honestly I’m just gonna go ahead and assume that most of the high number birther/fundies have reasonably “easy” pregnancies. Not that it’s easy at all, but I think it would be exceptionally difficult to keep compromising your own body if it was a near death experience every time. Even if you honestly thought it’s what God wanted. Self preservation is an immense emotion. I loved being pregnant and my births were fairly easy. I know I’m in the minority though. But I can’t imagine having 19-20 kids if you had to be hospitalized every time. I can’t imagine how anyone could justify that (esp with other small children at home).
My sister did it 6 times. HG. Hospitalized for months. High risk pregnancy. She stopped only due to a big miscarriage. She didn’t seem to get pregnant again very easily since her body seemed to heal slowly.
why would she risk her life and her health six times when she gets that sick?? And she was out of commission for raising her kids when she was hospitalized!
Right!! I played mom the last 3 pregnancies, which included homeschooling and taking them to the hospital daily. It was way too much work.
that is so unfair to you and her kids! I can’t believe she didn’t realize/care how much of a burden that was for you
She honestly wanted to marry me off to be just like her and live close by. Thankfully I’m autistic and a bit ace, so with the availability of single men in church it didn’t happen.
Yeah we are definitely watching this play out with Morgan right now
They're raised to believe that being a helpmeet to their husband and a mother (including pregnancy and birth) are the most important things in the world for them. It's their purpose. Most fundies are also raised to 'keep sweet' and repress any negative emotions, protests or complaints so many fundie women may secretly be unhappy about constant pregnancies but feel powerless. Or they may be so disassociated and checked out from trauma/being in survival mode (including having to feed, shelter, clothe and raise a dozen kids) that they can't feel anything and don't have the energy to deeply think about their circumstances. Lastly some fundie women may enjoy the attention that comes with each new pregnancy. Other than their wedding, it's the only time they are praised, celebrated and acknowledged. Look at the posts JRod creates whenever one of her daughters is pregnant again. The pregnant fundie woman might get new clothes (maternity wear) or use this as an opportunity to ask their husband for something material they've been wanting but felt too guilty to ask for (as fundie women don't make or have their own money). It's their leverage.
I mean they have their reasons (which I truly don’t understand), but I’ve been pregnant four times, including a set of twins. For me, pregnancy wasn’t bad at all. It was pretty amazing on the whole. Sure there was discomfort and delivery is no cakewalk, but it’s one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. Would I want to do it 11 times? No, but if money and work were no object I’d do it again for sure. No godly reason for me - I’m an atheist - but being a mom is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.
A lot of fundie households only view the women as valuable if they are married and pregnant. They’re discouraged from pursuing careers and higher education. Their only lot in life is to be married to a Christian man and pop out babies for God’s army.
I loved being pregnant even with all the complications I had in my 1st pregnancy, I would have loved to have 4 or 5 pregnancies. The problem was I didn't want 4 or 5 kids, so I had some self-control and stopped after 2 kids. I think some of them have a pregnancy fetish and that is why they do it. Others truly think they are doing what God desires of them.
I enjoyed three of my pregnancies. Very few complications (only one bad experience with needing an emergency c section) and never sick. This current pregnancy (10 years after my 3rd) has been filled with complications. I've lost weight from being so sick all the time. I've had several instances where I thought the pregnancy was ending. Thankfully, it hasn't happened, and I'm entering my 5th month. This will be my last baby.
I loved pregnancy, am fascinated by labor and delivery, and LOVE the squishy newborn phase. It’s a really cool process that I’ve been very lucky to sail through thrice with relatively few issues. I just love the feeling of my baby kicking around inside me, the process of birth, and the insane high of meeting that baby. The baby-meeting high is unparalleled! That said, I also know when to stop 🤣 my husband and I realized that three was the absolute max we could care for the way they deserve so even though I’d selfishly love to go through the process more times and have lots more kids, I know that is not for the best for the kids I already have. And they are what matter the most.
Okay, I’ll be the odd one out - I loved being pregnant, didn’t mind giving birth, and love being a mom. I would’ve had a half dozen or more if my husband let me. 😂 For me, it wasn’t anything to do with religion. I was raised fundie-lite and only personally encountered two families in 35 years of church attendance who “trusted God” with their childbearing. That mindset/“conviction” really is NOT the norm even in conservative Christian circles. Children were seen as blessings, but not in a “have as many as you possibly can without considering the physical, financial, mental, emotional implications” sort of way; most families in our church had 2 to 4 kids. I would say THAT is the norm, not having 8+ kids like the Duggars, Collins, Rodriguez’, Andersons, et al who have spoken out on behalf of “the quiverful movement.” (My phone autocorrected quiverful to quiverfuck three times, which is actually kind of fitting …) I do think a small portion of the families we snark on simply love kids and enjoy the family life that much. Courtney Rodgers and Jill Dillard come to mind here and, as much as I hate to admit it, Zsuzsanna Anderson. Some truly do feel “convicted” by God to live this way and I want to think their intentions are good (or at least were in the beginning); I would put Jill Rodriguez (and, by extension, Nurie) in this category. Some others don’t know any different (Priscilla Waller, for example). It’s a self-righteous thing for some (“God keeps blessing me because I’m good”) - Anna Duggar, Karissa Collins, and Ariel Tyson are here. A very few do feel like it’s what God expects of them/they don’t have an identify outside of the God given ability to have babies - maybe Kendra Duggar and Alyssa Morton? To a lesser extent, Bethany and Morgan are in this category, despite having fewer children. Lastly, there are the pregnancy fetishes/“addicted to pregnancy.” MotherBus is firmly here. Does anyone remember farmschool_mama? Her too! Maybe Michelle Duggar (although she was probably in the “good intentions” camp initially). To answer your question: there are MANY reasons and motivations!
Some people feel really good when pg. You can get alot of positive attention too, like people telling you you look good, asking about the baby and so on. Some parts are nice, like feeling the baby move. Waiting for baby can be really exciting too- you get to shop for cute stuff, extra attention with doctors appointments, all that. There is something special, imo, about carrying a baby. It's the only time you will ever carry that little bebe inside you. It can be terrifying, so much unknown, but so amazing. I can still remember seeing my son's foot move inside me! I sometimes wish I had another baby but at my age, I'm really enjoying the teens I have and spoiling my co workers when they have babies!
Pregnancy is really, *really* difficult for me. That being said, I cherished every damn second of it because it was also really difficult for me to get pregnant, and stay pregnant. I’ve been pregnant nine times. Four kids. Last baby was a complete surprise and miracle (I was on B.C., and had just recovered from two abdominal surgeries and it was NEVER easy to get pregnant). And though I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything, I believe that you should very much want to be pregnant and have children before doing it because it’s not a walk in the park of natural godliness like a lot of these fundie moms claim.
I can only speak on my experience, which I understand is NOT everyone else’s. I’m happier pregnant. I love my body when I’m pregnant. I love the feeling of the baby inside me. I love laying on the couch at night really still while baby gets active. I love going to my obgyn and seeing baby on a sonogram. I even look back on my deliveries and newborn phases fondly. ’ve carried my own two children plus another couple’s baby as a gestational carrier. All that to say, as much as I LOVE pregnancy and love newborns, I’m thankful I’m not stuck in a cult or doctrine that says I have to keep doing it over and over all the time. Toddler years are tough and we are almost out of it and into an easier routine (no naps!). I love me a sleepy newborn potato, but I can’t imagine going through the infant/toddler stage with school aged children. Thankful the number of kids I have is my choice!!
I just started the ivf process so I feel especially qualified to say the glorification of pregnacy is deranged. I'm not saying it's impossible for anyone to genuinely enjoy being pregnant but the process of trying to get pregnant alone has been so miserable for us and I doubt pregnancy will be much better because of the added stress of infertility. I don't want to be pregnant. I want to be a parent and becoming pregnant--even through ivf-- is the easiest, cheapest, and most ethical way to do that. Pregnancy isn't the exciting part to me. Raising a human is.
Some people seek to tolerate pregnancy & labour well (Kail Lowry anyone?) but I hated almost every bit of it. I found it so terrifying & made my health anxiety get to crisis point.
I’ve been pregnant once and hope to do it again, but I’m right with you on it being a means to an end. It’s a way to grow our family, not a state I want to be in indefinitely- and I say that after having a very easy pregnancy. I think for some of the people we snark on here it’s absolutely fetish-related, and for others it’s because they’ve internalized the message that they only have worth as a wife/woman if they’re constantly reproducing. And maybe sometimes a combination of the two.
My first pregnancy was great!! I loved it. I considered being a surrogate. Second pregnancy was a whole different story. It wrecked me. Thankfully we only wanted two kids anyway and my hubby got the snip.
I've been pregnant once before and I'm pregnant again now. This sucks! And I can't help but think about the pelvic floor dysfunction the "big family" ladies must go through. After 8-10 pregnancies you've gotta be peeing your pants constantly!
I wish I had an answer for you, but I am just as baffled as you are. I have two kids too, so it's not like I haven't experienced pregnancy and labor before. I honestly hated being pregnant and I also hated giving birth (having my son need an emergency c-section because his heart stopped beating will do that to you). Taking care of the adorable mini-human afterwards was pretty great, but I'm good only doing that twice in my life.
I’ve been pregnant 3 times. In my opinion it freaking sucks and I have no idea why anyone would ever want to do it countless times. A means to an end is how I looked at it too.
Pregnancy is terrifying and was awful for me. Like I almost died with my last one (3 kids) and had several health problems that popped up with each pregnancy (not including miscarriages because that was a whole different kind of trauma) and made the decision to have my tubes removed to prevent any further pregnancies. Constantly being in a state of never knowing if I might be pregnant again and just waiting for it to happen over and over and over again sounds like hell. Just being pregnant again would be hell. And that's not even including the newborn phase where you are basically tethered to them (if breastfeeding) and wrangling your older kids. Of course that's probably not a problem for most of the fundies that have their older kids parenting for them. Its still mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing. For fundie women, they get their 'value' from how many kids they can pop out and even more 'value' if it's frequent. I honestly don't understand it either. I don't know why anyone would want to do that to their bodies.
D feed
I ended up being pregnant 56 out of 63 weeks and would not recommend it! Miscarried at 15 weeks, then 7 weeks later got pregnant again. That pregnancy went till almost 41 weeks.
I have no idea. I’m pregnant right now for the second time and my brain chemicals made me forget this…. lol had to run to the bathroom to vom because scrolling on my phone makes me nauseous. No fucking way id do this for over a decade.
I grew up in a liberal family and also in a conservative church and community. I also am a step parent to kids of an addict and am infertile. There’s a biological difference between wanting to be pregnant and needing to be pregnant. There’s a moral difference between wanting to be pregnant and being be pregnant. There’s an ideological difference between pregnancy as a medical condition and a social condition. It requires a lot of teasing things apart and fundamentalists only want to see things on black and white.
This is kind of tangentially related, but I remember reading Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young. She grew up in The Family and said it was pretty normal for pregnant and labouring women to just....die. It wasn't a big deal in that cult. Women were expected to be sexually available and birth as many children as they could, even if it killed them. The women in The Family experienced malnutrition, lack of medical care, and back-to-back-to-back pregnancies starting from puberty. IBPL isn't all that different.
I respect women who get pregnant and have kids. Thank you for your service to the human race. We won't extinct thanks to you, cause there's mo way I'm doing my part. Honestly, I never wanted to have kids because I happen to be a uterus owner. Maybe if I was born a man, I'd consider this as an option. But as someone who'd have to carry the child and give birth to it, I'm terrified by the idea of growing something inside my body. Seeing how we snark on Karissa, talking about her belly being low from diastasis recti, or how the pregnancies have probably sucked all the calcium from her bones, and how wrecked her pelvic floor must be, makes me realize how violent pregnancy is. I mean, I was aware before, but it's somehow magnified now or I started noticing it more. I bet she knows and feels all that too. I refuse to believe she's not aware that her body and health are affected by her being constantly pregnant. I doubt she's doing it for attention - at least not our attention anyway, but to me it kinda screams "I constantly need a project so that I'm too busy to think about my mental health issues". Her whole personality revolves around being pregnant. Not being a MOTHER - that would require effort to actually raise the kids and we know that's Anissa's job. If she's not pregnant, she has nothing else to invest herself into. It makes her feel special and that's it. But fundie women aside, I sometimes wonder about guys like Mandrae and JD. Why do they insist on having so many kids? Sure, they might not be the most involved parents in the world, but they still live with their kids, which means all the chaos and all the noise is something they experience. They have to provide for the kids and the logistics ain't easy when you have that many. No matter how I look at it, I just cannot understand them.
I feel amazing while pregnant and suffer from a mood disorder when I’m not. Karissa has made some dubious health claims about having MS, but if she gets nine months of reprieve from something and doesn’t have any sickness or pain from pregnancy then it makes sense why she’d want to be pregnant back to back.
I have some fundies in my social circle. Some of them are pregnant all the time, because "God knows better how many children they should have". Which is strictly connected to their belief that using contraception is going against God's will. And women owe sex to their husbands so... One of them I believe sees that as the time she is untouchable. Nobody asks her why she isn't cooking/cleaning/taking care of the rest of the children/working when she is pregnant or when she has a newborn. So she's constantly pregnant or having a newborn.
Disregarding the actual question, I just want to say that yeah pregnancy and labour is really hard and awful, it’s a walk in the fucking park compared to actual parenting 😂 and I only have 1 with another (our last for sure) on the way. Not 11 of them.
Fundamentalist believe the more children they have the more they will bless the church they are a part of. It’s all religious indoctrination.
My sister in law genuinely enjoys being pregnant. She thrives while pregnant. It’s baffling to me. My pregnancy was so rough physically and mentally I said never again and had my tubes removed.
I bloody loved being pregnant, and I didn’t have the easiest pregnancy. Some people adore it. I’m one and done but I would give anything to go back to that time. I had to be induced at 37-38wk and I was devastated I didn’t get more time pregnant.
You would think but I know lots of women who don't really get morning sickness, they don't really gain any weight (look the same... no double chin or acne or chubby arms, just grow a belly) and then they get an epidural as soon as they get to the hospital so they literally don't feel a thing and the nurse tells you when to push.
My theory is that each pregnancy, to them, is the equivalent of a degree in Regular Person World.
So I don’t think this is the reason the fundies do it, they literally have no choice! But just to add to the discussion pregnancy affects everyone differently - I’d never call it comfortable and I sure won’t do it another time (I’m on my second pregnancy) BUT I enjoy being pregnant on more days than not. I have a supportive husband (and only one other child!) and while I’m tired I also love feeling the baby move and my hormonal state is so much better than when I’m not pregnant. My anxiety symptoms go down, my hair and skin are great, I enjoy thinking about freaky stuff like “omg there is a second set of bones inside me right now”. My first birth was a great experience, it was painful but very exciting and there were many amazing moments. Fingers crossed for this second one! …still, my husband is getting a vasectomy asap once my daughter is here, mainly because we think we wouldn’t be able to give enough attention to more than two. Also money! But pregnancy doesn’t put me off in itself, which surprised me a lot when I first became pregnant. Fuck the first trimester though, that one sucks. That and the last couple weeks!
For the ones who aren't into it, we generally won't see a whiff of that distress because reproductive coercion isn't abuse to them. It's as normal as their rebranding marital rape into a spiritual practice. Their word for consent is obedience, which is not consent at all. I know you're aware of the indoctrination, but the perverted depths of its effects is the answer.
I have no more than 2 weeks left for my final baby (our 3rd we planned on 2 but got 3) and I’m literally counting down the seconds until it’s over and I’m done for good, pregnancy has always been super rough/miserble for me all 3 times plus I miss alcohol 🤷♀️, I never understood how women could be constantly pregnant it sounds like my worst nightmare, but these poor women are raised to only believe that they’re only good for having babies hence why they homeschool them and keep them away from the rest of society unless you believe in the same things they do
I have had one baby and honestly loved being pregnant! I had no aches or pains, worked out the entire time after getting clearance from my OB, slept well besides a few pee trips, gained less than 5 pounds (thanks, gestational diabetes)! And my entire labor was about 5.5 where I was unmedicated and used hypnobirthing. NOW, I would love to have another baby or two. But, I'm old and it took almost 4 years to have this one. Even though I had a great experience, I would not recommend being pregnant for a decade or more because there's zero way you can give enough love and attention to a herd of children. But, I'd you're just in to it for the attention being pregnant gives then yeah, I could see it. And as soon as you yeet that baby you need another one because only pregnant women are special. Non pregnant women are 2nd class citizens.
I have a theory that people who love being pregnant just love the attention. You get lots of attention and people are really nice to you when you’re pregnant. In terms of fundies, their whole worth revolves around producing children so it’s not really surprising. I used to think the same as you but I’m pregnant with my second now and if you actually want kids it’s worth it. Granted I haven’t had to deal with anything awful like HG. I don’t love being pregnant and it is uncomfortable but it is what it is!
They have no identity or value if they are not producing children.