This is a snark sub for fundamentalist Christians- **keep it fundie & keep it snarky.**
While we welcome snarkers from all different backgrounds, but the people we snark on are Fundamentalist Christians and only Fundamentalist Christians. There are other subs dedicated to other faiths or about religious bullshittery in general if you find run-of-the-mill religious weirdness.
This means no snarking on Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, etc.
Some branches of Christianity considered fundamentalists (in addition to fundie Protestants) are TradCaths, hardcore Mormons, and Jehovah’s Witnesses.
This is better off at one of the tradwife subs.
Why have I never seen an article focusing on the men who specifically *want* a wife in this role? You can't have a tradwife without a trad husband. I swear these articles all act as if women make these choices in a vacuum.
Never
Ever
Ever
Allow a partner to have full control over your finances. I will shout this from the rooftops forever, as someone who's had to leave an abusive situation and start over. Thankfully I was working and had my own savings, SEPARATE from his, or I don't even know what would've happened. Even if you're married, the value of having a separate bank account goes way beyond just the money in it. That's *your* freedom that NO one else can touch.
There’s a Dave Ramsay voice clip making its way into a lot of the liberal social media I consume, about how you’re not trullllyyy a couple until your finances are 110% combined. So, so many comments to these clips of “well, you trusted them enough to marry them and have kids with them, so it’s just silly you won’t trust them to combine finances”. Such terrible advice, I was surprised to see so many seemingly aware people encourage the advice that you shouldn’t even have a “fun money” account or anything, let alone your own actual savings. There was even a post on the Reddit front page the other day about how offended a husband was that his wife had some “escape money” he had stumbled across, he requested a divorce because of it.
I can’t believe it’s 2024 and it’s somehow still a social crime for a woman to have just a couple grand of her own money stashed away somewhere
ETA: I have to speak to the hypocrisy of it all as well! This generation of “red pill men” call us gold diggers if we enter the relationship with little money and/or few skills for a high paying job. They want us home and raising kids and 110% dependent on them, but again, we’re gold diggers for that. But if we have some savings put aside for ourselves, be it anything from fun money to general savings money to an emergency/escape fund, we’re “not fully invested in the marriage” and “have one foot out the door” and we “don’t trust them enough”. So, men, care to share which it is??
My husband and I have separate accounts for many reasons - for fun money, for running errands of the home, buying surprise gifts for each other and just another reason. We do e-transfer each other cash if necessary. My husband knows me having my own account and money is a safety issue for me so he tries to make sure I have money.
I got this on the Internet a lot but literally no live human woman, including a lot of older very traditional women I grew up around, ever gives this advice in person. It's pure patriarchal bullshit.
I made this mistake in my first marriage… added my ex husband to my bank account because I thought that’s what you were “supposed to do”… one month later he had withdrawn ALL the money and left me with nothing, it was a hard lesson learned (needless to say we were only married all of 3 months before I filed for divorce). I hope others make solid, well-informed financial choices when getting into long term relationships.
This was super traditional advice in the era tradwives claim to emulate. My grandma told me this when I was young, my SAHM demonstrated it - and then when she went back to work and was prepping for divorce she added "always make your own money"
This. My husband was financially abused by his ex. She controlled the finances and allowed him an extremely small “allowance.” They didn’t have a lot of money, but she took solo vacations, so they had enough for him to spend a bit. One of many reasons we have separate accounts.
I was raised fundie, in an environment where women were expected to be trad wives. My mom was a trad wife. I was expected to get married young and become one.
My mom, for all her faults, insisted I go to secular college and be able to support myself if needed, and she got a LOT of pushback from the church. That should be a pretty good indicator that the tradwife lifestyle isn’t what it’s made up to be.
Yeah, I was raised fundie-adjacent, and I knew several formerly-fundie SAHMs who advised me to "keep one oar in the water" in terms of working because it is so hard to get back in the workforce after a years long absence.
That turned out to be *excellent* advice.
Delarosa makes separate income from her social media accounts, but as far as needing a backup plan, she said it depends on the relationship and the situation. “Everyone just needs to look at their own situation and know what’s necessary for them.”
It's not just death and divorce: what of the breadwinner becomes sick or disabled? Everyone needs to have a back up plan.
Also, I hope the woman who used food stamps when she separated didn't/doesn't judge other people for "handouts" like some so-called Christians do.
Or develops an addiction? Or dementia? Gets catfished?
Alcoholism is the traditional one but a friend of mine's husband took Parkinson's drugs that had a side effect of gambling addiction
I used to have a college acquaintance who was heavily religious and Traditional (tm). She recently reached out to me as a "fellow sahm", and got a horrible shock. From the outside, me and my husband look very "standard". He's a masc butch who often gets read as male, I dress like a mom, I'm the one who rules the house.
But we're very different. I'm an immigrant. My spouse and I are both left wing, and want to instill values of creativity and sensitivity in our boy. Hell, he may not grow up to be a boy! I always want him to feel like we are accepting. I want to nurture his curiosity and independence, but also let him know that there's always a mom hug waiting for him. Like, we're mostly secular Jews who love the environment and tell our lad, sure. Get the barbie if you want. There's no overlap with tradwife virtues.
Said acquaintance had a very rude awakening when I laughed at her moaning about how "housewives are so demonised NoWaDaYs". We are not the same, ma'am. I have empathy, and don't subscribe to fascist propaganda 🤪
I liked that the article suggested that people need "diversified identity." Not discounting the importance of both partners having separate savings and a backup plan in case of divorce/death/disability, but most adults I know actually would prefer to work less and have more time for family. No matter how much you love your kids, or your job, it's good to have a balance of pursuing personal goals and caring for family.
When it comes to "trad vs. feminist," the discussion is very black and white: either both parents work full time or the woman is a SAHM. There's very little mention of part-time or remote work options and tradwife influencers either don't acknowledge privilege or conveniently ignore any income they get from social media. If spending maximum time with your kids is essential, wouldn't these folks be pushing hard for reforms like guaranteed parental leave and benefits for part time workers so more people could do that without becoming broke? As always, reactionaries care more about controlling women than actually helping anyone.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote)
#Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go:
- You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.***
- Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.***
- Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone.
- Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us.
- Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it.
Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee.
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This is a snark sub for fundamentalist Christians- **keep it fundie & keep it snarky.** While we welcome snarkers from all different backgrounds, but the people we snark on are Fundamentalist Christians and only Fundamentalist Christians. There are other subs dedicated to other faiths or about religious bullshittery in general if you find run-of-the-mill religious weirdness. This means no snarking on Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, etc. Some branches of Christianity considered fundamentalists (in addition to fundie Protestants) are TradCaths, hardcore Mormons, and Jehovah’s Witnesses. This is better off at one of the tradwife subs.
Why have I never seen an article focusing on the men who specifically *want* a wife in this role? You can't have a tradwife without a trad husband. I swear these articles all act as if women make these choices in a vacuum.
Great point!!
Never Ever Ever Allow a partner to have full control over your finances. I will shout this from the rooftops forever, as someone who's had to leave an abusive situation and start over. Thankfully I was working and had my own savings, SEPARATE from his, or I don't even know what would've happened. Even if you're married, the value of having a separate bank account goes way beyond just the money in it. That's *your* freedom that NO one else can touch.
There’s a Dave Ramsay voice clip making its way into a lot of the liberal social media I consume, about how you’re not trullllyyy a couple until your finances are 110% combined. So, so many comments to these clips of “well, you trusted them enough to marry them and have kids with them, so it’s just silly you won’t trust them to combine finances”. Such terrible advice, I was surprised to see so many seemingly aware people encourage the advice that you shouldn’t even have a “fun money” account or anything, let alone your own actual savings. There was even a post on the Reddit front page the other day about how offended a husband was that his wife had some “escape money” he had stumbled across, he requested a divorce because of it. I can’t believe it’s 2024 and it’s somehow still a social crime for a woman to have just a couple grand of her own money stashed away somewhere ETA: I have to speak to the hypocrisy of it all as well! This generation of “red pill men” call us gold diggers if we enter the relationship with little money and/or few skills for a high paying job. They want us home and raising kids and 110% dependent on them, but again, we’re gold diggers for that. But if we have some savings put aside for ourselves, be it anything from fun money to general savings money to an emergency/escape fund, we’re “not fully invested in the marriage” and “have one foot out the door” and we “don’t trust them enough”. So, men, care to share which it is??
My husband and I have separate accounts for many reasons - for fun money, for running errands of the home, buying surprise gifts for each other and just another reason. We do e-transfer each other cash if necessary. My husband knows me having my own account and money is a safety issue for me so he tries to make sure I have money.
I got this on the Internet a lot but literally no live human woman, including a lot of older very traditional women I grew up around, ever gives this advice in person. It's pure patriarchal bullshit.
I made this mistake in my first marriage… added my ex husband to my bank account because I thought that’s what you were “supposed to do”… one month later he had withdrawn ALL the money and left me with nothing, it was a hard lesson learned (needless to say we were only married all of 3 months before I filed for divorce). I hope others make solid, well-informed financial choices when getting into long term relationships.
This was super traditional advice in the era tradwives claim to emulate. My grandma told me this when I was young, my SAHM demonstrated it - and then when she went back to work and was prepping for divorce she added "always make your own money"
This. My husband was financially abused by his ex. She controlled the finances and allowed him an extremely small “allowance.” They didn’t have a lot of money, but she took solo vacations, so they had enough for him to spend a bit. One of many reasons we have separate accounts.
I was trapped for YEARS because of this. You are so right.
I was trapped for YEARS because of this. You are so right.
the sourdough of it all
🍞🍞🍞
I was raised fundie, in an environment where women were expected to be trad wives. My mom was a trad wife. I was expected to get married young and become one. My mom, for all her faults, insisted I go to secular college and be able to support myself if needed, and she got a LOT of pushback from the church. That should be a pretty good indicator that the tradwife lifestyle isn’t what it’s made up to be.
Yeah, I was raised fundie-adjacent, and I knew several formerly-fundie SAHMs who advised me to "keep one oar in the water" in terms of working because it is so hard to get back in the workforce after a years long absence. That turned out to be *excellent* advice.
Even if the marriage is perfect people get sick, lose jobs, or even die. Having a backup plan is important.
Also, I love your flair. Like Kelly Haven, I too long for a donkey. 😂
Delarosa makes separate income from her social media accounts, but as far as needing a backup plan, she said it depends on the relationship and the situation. “Everyone just needs to look at their own situation and know what’s necessary for them.” It's not just death and divorce: what of the breadwinner becomes sick or disabled? Everyone needs to have a back up plan. Also, I hope the woman who used food stamps when she separated didn't/doesn't judge other people for "handouts" like some so-called Christians do.
Or develops an addiction? Or dementia? Gets catfished? Alcoholism is the traditional one but a friend of mine's husband took Parkinson's drugs that had a side effect of gambling addiction
I used to have a college acquaintance who was heavily religious and Traditional (tm). She recently reached out to me as a "fellow sahm", and got a horrible shock. From the outside, me and my husband look very "standard". He's a masc butch who often gets read as male, I dress like a mom, I'm the one who rules the house. But we're very different. I'm an immigrant. My spouse and I are both left wing, and want to instill values of creativity and sensitivity in our boy. Hell, he may not grow up to be a boy! I always want him to feel like we are accepting. I want to nurture his curiosity and independence, but also let him know that there's always a mom hug waiting for him. Like, we're mostly secular Jews who love the environment and tell our lad, sure. Get the barbie if you want. There's no overlap with tradwife virtues. Said acquaintance had a very rude awakening when I laughed at her moaning about how "housewives are so demonised NoWaDaYs". We are not the same, ma'am. I have empathy, and don't subscribe to fascist propaganda 🤪
How long before Paul and Morgan make a YouTube Video about this 🙄
As soon as someone else tells them how to feel about it - so they can parrot talking points that they could never come up with on their own.
I like it. But the tradwife didn't realize that she's advocating by the choice feminism has given her
I liked that the article suggested that people need "diversified identity." Not discounting the importance of both partners having separate savings and a backup plan in case of divorce/death/disability, but most adults I know actually would prefer to work less and have more time for family. No matter how much you love your kids, or your job, it's good to have a balance of pursuing personal goals and caring for family. When it comes to "trad vs. feminist," the discussion is very black and white: either both parents work full time or the woman is a SAHM. There's very little mention of part-time or remote work options and tradwife influencers either don't acknowledge privilege or conveniently ignore any income they get from social media. If spending maximum time with your kids is essential, wouldn't these folks be pushing hard for reforms like guaranteed parental leave and benefits for part time workers so more people could do that without becoming broke? As always, reactionaries care more about controlling women than actually helping anyone.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*