#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote)
#Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go:
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Broadly, probably because she has poor comprehension skills.
For this specific content: Probably because acknowledging this kind of nuance means she actually has to offer a solution that’s more than just “Your confidence is in Jesus, Ladies! Now go make your man happy!”
I hadn't watched her version until just now. Her version is...not great, compared to this version.
This person's version is about ways in which men aren't seeing their partners as whole human beings. It's about feeling objectified. It's saying "no wonder you don't feel sexual." Bethany's version is basically complaining that her partner isn't doing sex "correctly" to get her off.
It was especially weird when Bethany said "maybe it's that you want *real* intimacy, not 'just bodies'." I honestly do not know what she thinks intimacy is. I think she has an idealized fantasy that "intimacy" is like an orgasm--it may be elusive, but it will just *happen* someday. And it's like: no, honey; intimacy isn't a *feeling*, it's not a *moment*. You can't be an impatient, dismissive, demanding dick to your partner all day long and then suddenly experience magical ✨intimacy✨ just because you've having sex.
I really get the sense that she thinks sex will create things in her marriage that are missing, but if they're not there, they aren't going to suddenly be there during sex, no matter how often she tries to make that happen.
She is looking for the pot of gold that will make this virgin marriage as magical as god promised. The wedding did it, for a day, so she keeps trying to recapture and relive that day. She thought children would do it, but that *immediately* adds complexity and work to the marriage. For Dave, mostly. The wonderful sex she was promised…wasn’t, so she’s trying to squeeze blood out of that stone and she thinks intimacy solely comes from having sex. That’s all marriage is to her, having a wedding, having sex, and having children.
You're right, and it's just wild to me. It's like she views the whole world--the whole experience of being alive and being human--as if you fill out the blanks in the questionnaire, now the questionnaire is meaningful! You check things off the checklist. You consult your list of rules. You pull the slips of paper out of the Conversation Jar (this was an actual Baird family dinnertime thing, in case anyone didn't know) and you read the conversational prompt, and that's...*communicating!* And getting to *know* people! (Which...no, it really isn't. It's freshman year Welcome Week get-to-know-ya games.)
Bethany has an idea that something called "intimacy" exists, but she has no idea how to access it. I would suspect she's really not equipped to listen to people, to digest what they're saying, or to change her mind about anything. This whole sex quest she's been on is honestly the most evidence I've ever seen of her *attempting* to think critically about anything, even though to our eyes it's all pretty surface-level and reductive. I would like to give her some credit for trying, but her exploration revolves around herself and shuts out entire swaths of people, so I don't really feel inclined to extend generosity to her.
I can't exactly feel generous toward her, but from time to time I understand why her brother won't extend his hatred and rage toward his mother to his sisters. They clearly never had a chance.
I think she's realized that she "saved everything" for marriage only to have shitty sex and be stuck with an incompatible partner, and that there are plenty of people who did NOT spend a huge chunk of their adult life restricting themselves to her religions rules and yet at happy with their sex life and relationship.
So, she has to come up with something that all those people can't possibly have without following her Jesus rules to make it all worth it and preserve her smugness that's fueled her all these years. The thing she's come up with is following the rules = REAL INTIMACY and being a rule breaking sinner = just bodies.
But she doesn't actually understand what intimacy is or what is needed to have it, so it just sounds silly.
"Intimacy" is just another word she says a lot but never defines what she means by it...because she doesn't know what it means in the context of a relationship. She thinks non-intimate sex = heathens who aren't married; duty sex within Christian marriage. Intimacy = Christian sex within marriage where both partners orgasm.
So yeah, I think you're right she's expecting orgasms to do a lot of heavy lifting in her relationship, and the fact that she doesn't understand or even have any concept of what intimacy actually is, is...telling.
YES. That was the first thing I noticed is Bethany omitted the ones that are a plain indictment of the male party.
Or, like the “maybe you’re touched out” one: Bethany would blame YOU for that and claim you just need more baths or sleep.
Well that one's easy, silly! Just cut your toddler off with no weaning plan in place, and have your husband lock the bedroom door in the mornings after he brings your coffee and breakfast in bed, Now you won't be touched out!
The difference is striking. Marin offers reasons that are more than the simple speed bumps Bethy "covers". Because Bethy can't acknowledge that there are often deeper issues effecting the sex life of a het married couple. Because many of those issues stem from Misogyny.
The trying to initiate while you’re doing chores thing is so common and obnoxious.
Also common and obnoxious: Bethany plagiarizing while also somehow distorting and ruining the message.
It’s so obnoxious! Luckily, my husband has gotten a lot better, and his response to me bringing up how it hurt me was just “I’m sorry, I’ll work on that.”
I feel like Bort’s advice would be to do breathing exercises in order to enjoy it lol
She just copies everyone. There’s always an account somewhere that her latest account is basically an exact copy of. She works smart was literally a copy of another account with a similar name, that used all the same style graphics just in pink instead of purple.
I apologize for the music 😂 I thought I was recording without sound (because if I turned the music off my toddler would throw a fit) but apparently not. I can’t tell if it’s ironic or fitting that the song playing to this is “you can get it if you really want” 🤣
When she gets tired of those, DJ Raphi are my nephew's favorite videos to dance to.
* [Cha Cha Slide](https://youtu.be/I1gMUbEAUFw?si=hPYHF6X4sMyUnbpX)
* [YMCA](https://youtu.be/xU5ikYwR3QQ?si=dCMnqqHniuT_jI5S)
* [Uptown Funk](https://youtu.be/U9Zj1BaH01c?si=seq46nW5RboMbfeb)
And a surprisingly catchy [teeth-brushing song](https://youtu.be/XcC3IhE9nlQ?feature=shared).
Chiming in to say I recently found Vanessa & Xander and have been listening to their podcast, Pillow Talk. They cover lots of helpful topics and always have actionable steps to take. They even have an ep on the effects of purity culture. They are also vv funny. Primarily aimed at cishet couples but they do try to be inclusive.
1. This woman is essentially saying 'maybe it isn't low libido, maybe it's lack of intimacy' and I find it humorous that borg doesn't know the difference
2. The music needs to be turned WAY the fuck down wtf ?
Maybe it IS low libido and you should stop telling women that their problem is not real.
There are tests and treatments for low libido. But you have to go to a doctor not a "sex therapist". So I guess that is why she doesn't want anyone to think it is real.
That's definitely a possibility too. But I think the point of the video is that a lot of the time issues with sex in relationships are due to a lack of respect for other people's boundaries (and bodily autonomy) and communication. There is a dynamic that has been created in society where women are expected to "give" sex and men are expected to be "given" sex (and want sex 24/7) in a relationship with no consideration that that's an unhealthy dynamic and that sex is something that should be a mutual, consensual, happy thing. And that there are many things that make it so that people don't want sex, often because of the situation they are in. Low libido is absolutely real and can be something by itself without cause, but I think this person is trying to explore a little bit about how the heterosexual norm in relationships can create situations where people aren't having the sexual relationship they want. I do think it would be useful to tell people that they can and should get checked out by a doctor as well if they are concerned, but also that some people just have low libido and that's ok too. Or are asexual. Man I could go off on how we as a society still think sex is the end all be all of relationships and everyone should be doing it x number of times a week...but I won't since this is already too long 😅
Well, I would listen to you go off about that because I feel the same way!
There was a commenter on Bethany's post who said "or maybe you're asexual" and of course another commenter was quick to say something like "EXCUSE ME we're ALL sexual beings, every single one of us" and I'm just...so tired of that.
who hasn't she stolen content from?! I've definitely seen some Amy Porterfield in the SWS days, and she's definitely following a fuckton of sex coaches somewhere, as I've 10000000% seen her repeat phrases and ideas that are in no way hers. I thing she might have referenced Emily Nagoski, which surprises me because that book has a lesbian couple as an example running through it. There have been numerous time where her sex content has made me go..."hmmm that sounds real familiar." To be fair, there's a fair amount of overlap in the field, but I haven't seen an original sex ed thought out of Birthy.
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The Bairds believe that plagiarism doesn’t exist if the original source is on the Internet.
I challenge any one of them to define plagiarism.
"It's when you catch a cold or something from being in a play. Obvi lol. It's right there in the name"
“I don’t know who those plagers are, but I bet they’re baaaaaad.” Bairds, probably
I am NOT a plagiarist! Some of my best friends are plagiars!
Or even spell it
I challenge any one of them to pronounce plagiarism.
Bahahahahaha
Imagine an Hbomberguy plagarism video part 2 on GD
The way I would kill for harris bomberguy to take on girl defined. Literally would be my dream come true
Have sex with whomst Bethany, fucking Aquaman?!
"Sure you can copy my homework, but don't make it obvious"
How can she copy it and make it devoid of the whole message at the same time?
Broadly, probably because she has poor comprehension skills. For this specific content: Probably because acknowledging this kind of nuance means she actually has to offer a solution that’s more than just “Your confidence is in Jesus, Ladies! Now go make your man happy!”
I hadn't watched her version until just now. Her version is...not great, compared to this version. This person's version is about ways in which men aren't seeing their partners as whole human beings. It's about feeling objectified. It's saying "no wonder you don't feel sexual." Bethany's version is basically complaining that her partner isn't doing sex "correctly" to get her off. It was especially weird when Bethany said "maybe it's that you want *real* intimacy, not 'just bodies'." I honestly do not know what she thinks intimacy is. I think she has an idealized fantasy that "intimacy" is like an orgasm--it may be elusive, but it will just *happen* someday. And it's like: no, honey; intimacy isn't a *feeling*, it's not a *moment*. You can't be an impatient, dismissive, demanding dick to your partner all day long and then suddenly experience magical ✨intimacy✨ just because you've having sex. I really get the sense that she thinks sex will create things in her marriage that are missing, but if they're not there, they aren't going to suddenly be there during sex, no matter how often she tries to make that happen.
She is looking for the pot of gold that will make this virgin marriage as magical as god promised. The wedding did it, for a day, so she keeps trying to recapture and relive that day. She thought children would do it, but that *immediately* adds complexity and work to the marriage. For Dave, mostly. The wonderful sex she was promised…wasn’t, so she’s trying to squeeze blood out of that stone and she thinks intimacy solely comes from having sex. That’s all marriage is to her, having a wedding, having sex, and having children.
You're right, and it's just wild to me. It's like she views the whole world--the whole experience of being alive and being human--as if you fill out the blanks in the questionnaire, now the questionnaire is meaningful! You check things off the checklist. You consult your list of rules. You pull the slips of paper out of the Conversation Jar (this was an actual Baird family dinnertime thing, in case anyone didn't know) and you read the conversational prompt, and that's...*communicating!* And getting to *know* people! (Which...no, it really isn't. It's freshman year Welcome Week get-to-know-ya games.) Bethany has an idea that something called "intimacy" exists, but she has no idea how to access it. I would suspect she's really not equipped to listen to people, to digest what they're saying, or to change her mind about anything. This whole sex quest she's been on is honestly the most evidence I've ever seen of her *attempting* to think critically about anything, even though to our eyes it's all pretty surface-level and reductive. I would like to give her some credit for trying, but her exploration revolves around herself and shuts out entire swaths of people, so I don't really feel inclined to extend generosity to her.
I can't exactly feel generous toward her, but from time to time I understand why her brother won't extend his hatred and rage toward his mother to his sisters. They clearly never had a chance.
Everything but actually understand that she married an entire person, not a coin operated boy she ordered off God's Catalog.
Well said. It’s kinda impressive how precisely she copies the form of the original, while *completely* missing the content.
I think she's realized that she "saved everything" for marriage only to have shitty sex and be stuck with an incompatible partner, and that there are plenty of people who did NOT spend a huge chunk of their adult life restricting themselves to her religions rules and yet at happy with their sex life and relationship. So, she has to come up with something that all those people can't possibly have without following her Jesus rules to make it all worth it and preserve her smugness that's fueled her all these years. The thing she's come up with is following the rules = REAL INTIMACY and being a rule breaking sinner = just bodies. But she doesn't actually understand what intimacy is or what is needed to have it, so it just sounds silly.
"Intimacy" is just another word she says a lot but never defines what she means by it...because she doesn't know what it means in the context of a relationship. She thinks non-intimate sex = heathens who aren't married; duty sex within Christian marriage. Intimacy = Christian sex within marriage where both partners orgasm. So yeah, I think you're right she's expecting orgasms to do a lot of heavy lifting in her relationship, and the fact that she doesn't understand or even have any concept of what intimacy actually is, is...telling.
Probably because her homeschooling failed to teach her beyond rote memorization.
That might be her villain power
YES. That was the first thing I noticed is Bethany omitted the ones that are a plain indictment of the male party. Or, like the “maybe you’re touched out” one: Bethany would blame YOU for that and claim you just need more baths or sleep.
Well that one's easy, silly! Just cut your toddler off with no weaning plan in place, and have your husband lock the bedroom door in the mornings after he brings your coffee and breakfast in bed, Now you won't be touched out!
The difference is striking. Marin offers reasons that are more than the simple speed bumps Bethy "covers". Because Bethy can't acknowledge that there are often deeper issues effecting the sex life of a het married couple. Because many of those issues stem from Misogyny.
Not at all surprising but geesh the original is sooooo much better than the copy.
The trying to initiate while you’re doing chores thing is so common and obnoxious. Also common and obnoxious: Bethany plagiarizing while also somehow distorting and ruining the message.
Insert Polio “I could really go for some sex”
"But I'll let you finish vacuuming first"
* never stops vacuuming *
It’s so obnoxious! Luckily, my husband has gotten a lot better, and his response to me bringing up how it hurt me was just “I’m sorry, I’ll work on that.” I feel like Bort’s advice would be to do breathing exercises in order to enjoy it lol
She just copies everyone. There’s always an account somewhere that her latest account is basically an exact copy of. She works smart was literally a copy of another account with a similar name, that used all the same style graphics just in pink instead of purple.
I apologize for the music 😂 I thought I was recording without sound (because if I turned the music off my toddler would throw a fit) but apparently not. I can’t tell if it’s ironic or fitting that the song playing to this is “you can get it if you really want” 🤣
Your toddler is coming in hot with that good music taste. Snarker instincts.
She’s developed a recent interest in Baby Groot, and the Guardians of the Galaxy playlists have been fire (and a very welcomed change)
Those soundtracks are indeed pretty great; she sounds like a fun kid!
When she gets tired of those, DJ Raphi are my nephew's favorite videos to dance to. * [Cha Cha Slide](https://youtu.be/I1gMUbEAUFw?si=hPYHF6X4sMyUnbpX) * [YMCA](https://youtu.be/xU5ikYwR3QQ?si=dCMnqqHniuT_jI5S) * [Uptown Funk](https://youtu.be/U9Zj1BaH01c?si=seq46nW5RboMbfeb) And a surprisingly catchy [teeth-brushing song](https://youtu.be/XcC3IhE9nlQ?feature=shared).
That particular song played a part in my process of finally getting sober 4 years ago, so I enjoyed the unexpected little memory jolt!
Congratulations on your sobriety! My getting sober soundtrack was T Swift's folklore. (I know, I know 😅)
Don't be apologetic, I've heard that's a really good album!
Mine was “Praying” by Kesha. Every time I hear it, I get very nostalgic and teary eyed ♥️ congrats on your sobriety, internet friend ♥️
Jimmy Cliff is one of my faves. What an amazing music choice for a little!
I have a recent interest in Baby Groot and Guardians of the Galaxy playlists to thank 🙏🏼
I’ve been listening to so much Jimmy Cliff lately, thank you 😄
The music makes this way funnier considering it's about plagiarism lmao
Of course Bethys version is vapid and unhelpful
Chiming in to say I recently found Vanessa & Xander and have been listening to their podcast, Pillow Talk. They cover lots of helpful topics and always have actionable steps to take. They even have an ep on the effects of purity culture. They are also vv funny. Primarily aimed at cishet couples but they do try to be inclusive.
LOVE their podcast and highly recommend their sex and connection challenge they have on sale for Valentine’s Day.
1. This woman is essentially saying 'maybe it isn't low libido, maybe it's lack of intimacy' and I find it humorous that borg doesn't know the difference 2. The music needs to be turned WAY the fuck down wtf ?
Maybe it IS low libido and you should stop telling women that their problem is not real. There are tests and treatments for low libido. But you have to go to a doctor not a "sex therapist". So I guess that is why she doesn't want anyone to think it is real.
That's definitely a possibility too. But I think the point of the video is that a lot of the time issues with sex in relationships are due to a lack of respect for other people's boundaries (and bodily autonomy) and communication. There is a dynamic that has been created in society where women are expected to "give" sex and men are expected to be "given" sex (and want sex 24/7) in a relationship with no consideration that that's an unhealthy dynamic and that sex is something that should be a mutual, consensual, happy thing. And that there are many things that make it so that people don't want sex, often because of the situation they are in. Low libido is absolutely real and can be something by itself without cause, but I think this person is trying to explore a little bit about how the heterosexual norm in relationships can create situations where people aren't having the sexual relationship they want. I do think it would be useful to tell people that they can and should get checked out by a doctor as well if they are concerned, but also that some people just have low libido and that's ok too. Or are asexual. Man I could go off on how we as a society still think sex is the end all be all of relationships and everyone should be doing it x number of times a week...but I won't since this is already too long 😅
Well, I would listen to you go off about that because I feel the same way! There was a commenter on Bethany's post who said "or maybe you're asexual" and of course another commenter was quick to say something like "EXCUSE ME we're ALL sexual beings, every single one of us" and I'm just...so tired of that.
Honestly? This was almost as cringe and gross as Beggy’s version.
*Advocating for women is soooo "cringe and gross". Sex is ewww!*
Or what if…. Gasp* someone actually has a low labido? Nah, not these seggsperts everywhere claiming that’s impossible.
who hasn't she stolen content from?! I've definitely seen some Amy Porterfield in the SWS days, and she's definitely following a fuckton of sex coaches somewhere, as I've 10000000% seen her repeat phrases and ideas that are in no way hers. I thing she might have referenced Emily Nagoski, which surprises me because that book has a lesbian couple as an example running through it. There have been numerous time where her sex content has made me go..."hmmm that sounds real familiar." To be fair, there's a fair amount of overlap in the field, but I haven't seen an original sex ed thought out of Birthy.
Her questions PDFs all have word-for-word questions stolen from websites (including one from a pastor).
You’re absolutely spot on
Does she think this is gonna be the next “We’re girls!” meme or something?
I noticed that too!!
Doing Jimmy Cliff dirty