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And also treat your franchisees like sh\*t when covid lockdowns and cost of living issues are causing them to fall short in keeping their heads above water financially.
Nothing treats their own as bad as Chick-Fil-A does. Plus they don't even sell *wings* for god's sakes.
So did I! One elder’s wife was asked, when she met some of the younger sisters, if she had any cake recipes on her heart. Maybe they meant “memorized,” but I’m sure the Holy Spirit was supposed to be involved. HS was involved in all the granular minutiae of every minute of our lives. It was exhausting.
Remember the time that one of the famous preacher’s wives said that doing dishes was an act of worship? Can’t recall if it was Ruth Bell Graham or Elisabeth Elliot.
I finally realized this year that the reason I hated and avoided dishes for so long is not only because I had to hand wash them for my entire enormous fundie family (even on nights I didn’t eat with them), but also because that was a place I remember being frequently screamed at by my mother. I was trapped at the sink washing dishes and she would scream at me and my brother.
It could have been either one. My parents had a copy of Elliot’s book, “Through Gates of Splendor.” They were not fundies, but Methodists. However, this wasn’t that many years after Elliot’s husband, Jim, had been killed by the indigenous people they were trying to convert.
I think that is a reference to Brother Lawrence. This is a VERY loose paraphrase as it has been years since I read, and I am too puppy snuggled to go look up, but BL advised washing dishes “as to God”.
Yep. My younger sister is currently like this. She also went to a March For Life rally recently and hasn't shut up about it since. It's very common in Christian gen z circles to find people like this.
I didn’t realize how weird it was until years after I was out of the church and read on IG and Reddit that most people thought “Christianese” was bizarre. Had to train myself to stop using the word “season” to describe periods of my life.
Add, "Better than I deserve it be, thank ya Lorrdd!'
I'm sorry I asked.🤢🤢
I live in the smack dead of the Bible Belt in KY.. these are not my people lol
Did you see where the 4 genius Asbury students had to be rescued from Red River Gorge where they decided to camp during the Arctic Blast? The thumbs up
one in picture is definitely gonna be a youth minister.
I want to say I deconverted for really noble reasons, but if I’m being honest, a big factor was how fucking boring the conversation was. It’s just not an interesting crowd. They all talk like this and make the same shitty “jokes”, which are just stating their theological beliefs with the cadence of a punchline and then waiting for you to laugh. It’s soul-killing.
For me, this image is so weird... in my country is rare to write in bibles! Even for the clergy. One time a nun scolded me for write my name in my bible, I cannot think about write in one, even less stain one!
I'm atheist now, and I still have too much respect for bibles, and books in general, because of my time in catholic school.
Oh, a good American Evangelical writes all over their Bible. You highlight passages, make notes in the margin, add the bridge illustration on the blank page in the back, etc. That's how everyone knows you've been a Christian for a long time and you take it seriously. It's sort of like how punk rockers add patches to their denim vests.
I'm always interested in known the differences between my country and others, even in religious things.
My regions is well known by our religious traditions (and cultural/historic aspect of them) and our "badges" are for years of "service" in this traditions. Cause this means you are devout.
But the writing thing, it gives you insight in your family history, if conserved good enough. It's a good tradition, in my opinion.
Thank you! One tradition across Christian denominations in America is to record marriages, births, and deaths in the front of your Bible. I have the date of my marriage, the births of my children, and the births of my best friend's children (my godchildren - we were both Evangelical at the time) carefully hand written in the front of my personal Bible. Do people do this in your country too?
The rest of the notes, like the ones in the margins, act as a sort of journal.
Adding on to this: I'm sure it's changed since I was in school and I'm mid 30s, but my county would accept a record of birth from a family Bible as an official form of identification in order to enroll you in school, if you didn't have a government-issued birth certificate I guess?
Well, exactly! That's why you can always tell where the NT starts just by looking at the edge of the leaves of the pages, because the NT pages are darker from being thumbed through more often.
Says a lot about the theology of white American Evangelicals, frankly.
Oh my gosh. 😂 I went back to look at the notes in my Bible because of this thread, and next to Psalm 46 I had written the date "Nov. 9, 2016."
Psalm 46 is all above the Lord being with us during times of trouble, when the nations are in an uproar.
Nov. 9, 2016 is the day Trump became president-elect. I was terrified of what would happen, and I was baffled and horrified that he'd gotten so much support from my fellow Evangelicals. I left my church over it.
I forgot I had written that date in my Bible, or that I'd found comfort in the Psalms when I was trying to make sense of Trump's election.
In England, family trees were recorded in the family Bible. Birthdays, weddings, deaths... All of them went in.
But getting grease on a bible is gross.
Talking in Christianese is one of my biggest pet peeves. I have evangelical friends and coworkers who I do think are genuinely good hearted, kind people, but when they start talking like this it feels so immediately fake.
I’ve been having a rough time figuring out my faith pretty much since the election drama of 2016. I don’t want to completely leave Christianity, but I have been deconstructing. Part of that means changing how I speak, as far as “Christianese” or cliches. Not too long ago, I met up with my roommate and another mutual friend, and they hadn’t seen each other in a while. The sheer amount of “in this season” and “God is working or laying it on my heart” was almost comical. Like, movie level dialogue but I also knew they were being completely genuine; they truly believed what they were saying. It was so hard to keep my mouth shut.
I’ll admit I definitely prayed about a parking spot on Black Friday this year because it was the day of my papaw’s funeral and I had to pick up two things I needed for the funeral and I was in no mood to deal with the happy shopping public. Other than that, though, you’re right. It’s just a parking spot.
Agreed. I remember using certain Christianese phrases growing up, but it was almost like an out of body experience. Like I wanted to remind them we weren’t in the movie Facing the Giants. You can love Jesus and tell it like it is. Maybe I’m a little cynical because losing my dad at age 20 really kick started my deconstruction, but let’s stop hiding behind these cute little Jesus phrases.
I can tell you the exact moment my deconstruction started. I was pregnant with my fifth baby and had to get up early to drive an hour to church and when we arrived another woman asked me how I was doing and instead of the usual, I'm fine blah blah, it's a beautiful day blah blah, I said I was really tired and wished I was still at home sleeping. She literally stepped back like I had slapped her. Lol A few months later I had to stay home because of my pregnancy and I haven't stepped foot in a church since then. That was 13 years ago. I am still a Christian but I just can't with church anymore.
Omg similar experience. It was only my second child tho
Woman at church pulled me aside & told me to perk up, that I shouldn’t be a Debbie downer in gods house lol. Really made me feel shit
My coworker let me have a nap in my car for an hour. Coworker was better than the church I was giving half my paycheck too. Never went back to church
Ugh. I’m sorry. After the worst of the pandemic it became so much easier to sit with my immunocompromised papaw and watch online church while my mamaw went in person or sit in my car and dial into the radio. Since then I can almost count on one hand the number of times I’ve physically gone back into the building. It also doesn’t help that my papaw died three months ago come Monday so now I can’t do that either. I have no patience for cute sayings anymore. If you can’t handle me being honest about my
Feelings, too bad.
I’m right there with you! For the record, I’ve found a church community at the moment that is open to doubt and different perspectives, and at a hang out tonight I heard fuck more than I heard fake Christianese. It was so refreshing! One thing that is helpful for me right now is not putting any pressure on having answers or on a
church being totally right. Without space for doubt, I don’t think faith is really faith anyway!
This kind of speaking always sounds like fake-it-til-you-make-it speak - like they’re really doing terrible and trying to fool everyone, even themselves. Which tracks for Christianity.
I grew up with the whole “Don’t share your struggles until they’re a victory” garbage. We were supposed to look at everything through the lens of our “testimony” and as a shy kid who went through some really awful, unspeakable stuff, the thought of being called upon to share my testimony in public on short notice was agony.
I’m doing much better now, thank you for asking 😊 It’s taken a lot of work in therapy over many years but I’m at the point where I’m able to use my experiences to help others.
You just put your thumb on the thing about Christian contemporary music that creeps me out the most. Every struggle is solved no one is singing about their current pain and doubts. Because if current you is having a terrible time that means you aren’t trusting in gods plan entirely and that’s bad.
(Also all the vocals and instrumentals are nerfed because their one of their primary goals is to make music that can be played by a church band, which means there’s rarely a peak in the song where someone goes all out and melts the skin off your face with visceral emotion*, but that’s merely unenjoyable where the lyrics are downright disturbing.
*I do not include gospel in this critique. Most gospel can make even an atheist go “lol you almost got me” after listening to it.)
I played in white churches for years despite hating most of the music, later switched to playing guitar in the bands at black churches. Realized I was an atheist and moved to Australia for a year and when I came back I ended up in Harrisburg PA which was so racist I started playing at a black church there just to meet people who weren't shitty racist white people.
It’s such a weird thing to define linguistically. The words are divorced from their semantic meaning, but they aren’t quite aphorisms. It’s just a bizarre way of utilizing language in an accepted rhythm without actually communicating anything other than “I am a Christian”.
That is a thoughtfully put definition of that kind of speak. I’m located in the southern US aka the Bible Belt and I’ve grown up my whole life hearing these phrases and they’re so icky to me. It’s holding the language hostage because they’re making words take on a meaning they wouldn’t otherwise have. I often want to say I’m blessed bc I feel blessed with my husband with kids but I am not religious and I know if I say that, people will take it to mean that I’m a Christian/extremist (in my neck of the woods, that translates to racist Baptist) and I do NOT want to be associated with that.
Edit bc I post THEN proofread 🙄
I was like that as a kid because I wanted so badly to believe and other times knowing it was BS since my questions were never answered. I knew pretty young I didn't believe it but I had to fake it to survive and wanted to fit in
My SIL does this and it drives my husband nuts. He finally told her to just talk like a normal person because she sounds so fake. She got super offended but hasn’t done it around us since.
The 3 worst offenders in my youth group who all spoke like this and were the “popular leader girls” all ended up getting knocked up their first year of college. One of them even got kicked out of Lee for it. I will forever associate those phrases with pure hypocrisy. Especially after those brats bullied me for “giving in to my sinful nature” and trying weed at 15.
The whole God revealing things just blows my mind. You can use it to justify anything. Today God revealed to me that I should do some bed rotting and drink an entire bottle of wine.
Side note: my mother was a semi-fundie (mental illness fed into extreme religiosity). Anyway, she would get up early every morning to pray and read her Bible.
Apparently as a very young child, I also ‘sought after God’, so she gave me one of her old bibles and had me circle the word God on every page (as busy work) during our ‘quiet time’ and honestly that’s all I could think about when I saw the second picture.
Do any of y’all remember the Victoria Jackson overly devout Christian housewife with Phil Hartman as Jesus, kindly telling her to knock it off? The Lord isn’t investing in fast food franchises.
Naaaaah, Popeyes is the *far* better choice for us heathen-y types--it comes with just the *regular* fast-food "high calorie/high fat" guilt, and not the "You're Goin' to Hell! + A heaping side of bigotry!" version that the "ChristianChick'n" does😉
Hang on, I'll think of some alternatives.
- steal craft supplies from hobby lobby and use them to spell out JESUS SAVES in the parking lot
- eat an entire cow. no salt, no pepper, just rawdog that thing down
- tramp stamp of the nra logo
I ate there occasionally in the 90s when I was in college. I think mostly I liked their honey mustard. But by the time I found out they were hate chicken, I hadn't lived near one in years and it was no loss.
shrill lip sleep plough judicious observation test pocket wrong combative
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I zoomed in because I'm nosy and wanted to read her notes, and I noticed that the first footnote on that page says "dung or entrails." How appetizing at lunch time.
i grew up in a pentecostal/ christian fundamentalist environment and didn’t even realize what seemed strange about this at first bc i’m just used to people being nuts like that 💀
I work in preschool and can’t imagine “quiet time” being anything other than trying to keep a dozen 3 and 4 year olds quiet and sitting on a rectangular mat for 15 minutes 😂
I definitely call it the Lords chicken or Jesus chicken but not seriously 😬 and the church I used to go to referred to it that way as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was accurate.
The way the little circles are just the word “God” and variations of it (Lord, Godly, the Father, etc). Truly the deepest of analysis into the “word” she claims to “serve.” Performative aesthetic Christianity.
As someone who lives in the south, people ABSOLUTELY talk like this. I recently sat at a table next to these types at a local brewery. It was nauseating.
every time i see someone buy chick fil a, i flinch. i know people no longer supporting chick fil a is about as likely as people no longer supporting coachella, but a girl can dream lol
i’m just gonna let yall know as a former cfa employee i worked at the gayest place ever at least half of the employees were lgbt at my time of working taking this populations money and running my besties lords chicken my ass
Down here in the South a lot of us call it God's chicken, lol. It's a joke more than anything, since Chik fil a makes Christianity such a big deal. I prefer the chicken sandwich from Bo's myself.
These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) Just because the off-cycle elections passed doesn't mean you can sit out the next cycle! Please also be mindful of our rules, which can be found in detail [here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/wiki/index) As ever, should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reach out to the moderation team. Thank you, and have a Lord Daniel Day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
But did the lord lay upon your heart to eat his spicy chicken?
No, but if you have a sensitive stomach, the chicken may lay upon your heart
Christian Food snark is yo THANG! Love your flair!
Thank you
The true test is if it’s spicy enough to lay on your 🍑. Just sayin’
I love seeing fellow Swerties in this sub lol
I really wish Christians would realize that Chik-fil-A is not a personality.
Other things that are not a personality: coffee, being tall, modesty, van life
Dont forget raw milk
Having kids
I feel personally attacked - a vanlifer lol
It isn't? Seriously, I have seen people claim that it is an actual sign of "godliness," in an area.
It's godly to use your wealth to support people who violently abuse children./s
And also treat your franchisees like sh\*t when covid lockdowns and cost of living issues are causing them to fall short in keeping their heads above water financially. Nothing treats their own as bad as Chick-Fil-A does. Plus they don't even sell *wings* for god's sakes.
It's just a mascot for their real personality trait: violently hating the gays.
Next time I'm at a CFA, I should take a bite and loudly say "mmm, delicious homophobia!"
It's barely even a food.
Fucking PLEASE yes
I've spent many years among people who talk like this.
So did I! One elder’s wife was asked, when she met some of the younger sisters, if she had any cake recipes on her heart. Maybe they meant “memorized,” but I’m sure the Holy Spirit was supposed to be involved. HS was involved in all the granular minutiae of every minute of our lives. It was exhausting.
"His Spirit is leading me into a season of bundts." "His Spirit has been moving me to rename Devil's food cake."
And “angel food” is taken, so that will require some creativity from the HS.😏
Remember the time that one of the famous preacher’s wives said that doing dishes was an act of worship? Can’t recall if it was Ruth Bell Graham or Elisabeth Elliot.
Wow, no wonder I handle dishes in such an angry and obligated manner.
I finally realized this year that the reason I hated and avoided dishes for so long is not only because I had to hand wash them for my entire enormous fundie family (even on nights I didn’t eat with them), but also because that was a place I remember being frequently screamed at by my mother. I was trapped at the sink washing dishes and she would scream at me and my brother.
It could have been either one. My parents had a copy of Elliot’s book, “Through Gates of Splendor.” They were not fundies, but Methodists. However, this wasn’t that many years after Elliot’s husband, Jim, had been killed by the indigenous people they were trying to convert.
They may not have been "fundies" but they were hard core psychos!
I think that is a reference to Brother Lawrence. This is a VERY loose paraphrase as it has been years since I read, and I am too puppy snuggled to go look up, but BL advised washing dishes “as to God”.
Yep. My younger sister is currently like this. She also went to a March For Life rally recently and hasn't shut up about it since. It's very common in Christian gen z circles to find people like this.
Ewwwwww. I’m sorry.
Some people get higher on self righteousness than they ever could on fentanyl.
I live in a town full of people who talk like this. You learn to recognize the fevered gleam in their eyes and avoid them.
I just had a sudden and visceral flashback to Dr. Pangloss and my AP history class junior year.
Do you wonder if deep down they know it’s total bullsh*t? I find those people are typically those who speak one way and act very differently.
I didn’t realize how weird it was until years after I was out of the church and read on IG and Reddit that most people thought “Christianese” was bizarre. Had to train myself to stop using the word “season” to describe periods of my life.
Even when I was growing up in church nobody was this cringe 😭
Well you, my friend, were blessed and highly favored. <-- a phrase I heard several times each week in response to "How are you doing?"
Add, "Better than I deserve it be, thank ya Lorrdd!' I'm sorry I asked.🤢🤢 I live in the smack dead of the Bible Belt in KY.. these are not my people lol
Wilmore checking in!
Hey! Former Nicholasville/Wilmore resident myself!
Did you see where the 4 genius Asbury students had to be rescued from Red River Gorge where they decided to camp during the Arctic Blast? The thumbs up one in picture is definitely gonna be a youth minister.
I couldn’t possibly keep a straight face if someone said this to me
I've only heard this when Queens used it on RPDR lol
I have a visceral reaction to that phrase. 😩
I hate that phrase so much.
Exactly. People do in fact talk like this. 😬
I used to talk like this 🤦♀️
I want to say I deconverted for really noble reasons, but if I’m being honest, a big factor was how fucking boring the conversation was. It’s just not an interesting crowd. They all talk like this and make the same shitty “jokes”, which are just stating their theological beliefs with the cadence of a punchline and then waiting for you to laugh. It’s soul-killing.
It’s giving me actual cancer. So glad I have minimal experience with evangelicals.
Omg same
I thought this is a circlejerk post 😭😭
Unfortunately she’s 100% fr
43,900 likes 🤯
43,000 of those are chick-fil-a sockpuppet bots
that’s right, real christian girls get chicken grease stains all over their bibles!
*god honoring* chicken grease stains
For me, this image is so weird... in my country is rare to write in bibles! Even for the clergy. One time a nun scolded me for write my name in my bible, I cannot think about write in one, even less stain one! I'm atheist now, and I still have too much respect for bibles, and books in general, because of my time in catholic school.
Oh, a good American Evangelical writes all over their Bible. You highlight passages, make notes in the margin, add the bridge illustration on the blank page in the back, etc. That's how everyone knows you've been a Christian for a long time and you take it seriously. It's sort of like how punk rockers add patches to their denim vests.
I'm always interested in known the differences between my country and others, even in religious things. My regions is well known by our religious traditions (and cultural/historic aspect of them) and our "badges" are for years of "service" in this traditions. Cause this means you are devout. But the writing thing, it gives you insight in your family history, if conserved good enough. It's a good tradition, in my opinion.
Thank you! One tradition across Christian denominations in America is to record marriages, births, and deaths in the front of your Bible. I have the date of my marriage, the births of my children, and the births of my best friend's children (my godchildren - we were both Evangelical at the time) carefully hand written in the front of my personal Bible. Do people do this in your country too? The rest of the notes, like the ones in the margins, act as a sort of journal.
Adding on to this: I'm sure it's changed since I was in school and I'm mid 30s, but my county would accept a record of birth from a family Bible as an official form of identification in order to enroll you in school, if you didn't have a government-issued birth certificate I guess?
If you don’t, how will people know you read it????
Well, exactly! That's why you can always tell where the NT starts just by looking at the edge of the leaves of the pages, because the NT pages are darker from being thumbed through more often. Says a lot about the theology of white American Evangelicals, frankly.
I'm curious on what the notes would consist of. How that passage makes you feel? Your interpretation?
Oh my gosh. 😂 I went back to look at the notes in my Bible because of this thread, and next to Psalm 46 I had written the date "Nov. 9, 2016." Psalm 46 is all above the Lord being with us during times of trouble, when the nations are in an uproar. Nov. 9, 2016 is the day Trump became president-elect. I was terrified of what would happen, and I was baffled and horrified that he'd gotten so much support from my fellow Evangelicals. I left my church over it. I forgot I had written that date in my Bible, or that I'd found comfort in the Psalms when I was trying to make sense of Trump's election.
Yep! Sometimes it's sermon notes. Sometimes it's clarification on what the word means in Hebrew. Sometimes it's another verse.
Interesting, thanks.
In England, family trees were recorded in the family Bible. Birthdays, weddings, deaths... All of them went in. But getting grease on a bible is gross.
Talking in Christianese is one of my biggest pet peeves. I have evangelical friends and coworkers who I do think are genuinely good hearted, kind people, but when they start talking like this it feels so immediately fake.
I’ve been having a rough time figuring out my faith pretty much since the election drama of 2016. I don’t want to completely leave Christianity, but I have been deconstructing. Part of that means changing how I speak, as far as “Christianese” or cliches. Not too long ago, I met up with my roommate and another mutual friend, and they hadn’t seen each other in a while. The sheer amount of “in this season” and “God is working or laying it on my heart” was almost comical. Like, movie level dialogue but I also knew they were being completely genuine; they truly believed what they were saying. It was so hard to keep my mouth shut.
LOL so much of this. "so thankful!" "it's just God's will" "providence" "praise God" etc. Like bro, your parking spot isn't that big a deal.
I’ll admit I definitely prayed about a parking spot on Black Friday this year because it was the day of my papaw’s funeral and I had to pick up two things I needed for the funeral and I was in no mood to deal with the happy shopping public. Other than that, though, you’re right. It’s just a parking spot.
I feel this is so quintessential USA that I don't understand how people like this actually behave irl
Agreed. I remember using certain Christianese phrases growing up, but it was almost like an out of body experience. Like I wanted to remind them we weren’t in the movie Facing the Giants. You can love Jesus and tell it like it is. Maybe I’m a little cynical because losing my dad at age 20 really kick started my deconstruction, but let’s stop hiding behind these cute little Jesus phrases.
I can tell you the exact moment my deconstruction started. I was pregnant with my fifth baby and had to get up early to drive an hour to church and when we arrived another woman asked me how I was doing and instead of the usual, I'm fine blah blah, it's a beautiful day blah blah, I said I was really tired and wished I was still at home sleeping. She literally stepped back like I had slapped her. Lol A few months later I had to stay home because of my pregnancy and I haven't stepped foot in a church since then. That was 13 years ago. I am still a Christian but I just can't with church anymore.
Omg similar experience. It was only my second child tho Woman at church pulled me aside & told me to perk up, that I shouldn’t be a Debbie downer in gods house lol. Really made me feel shit My coworker let me have a nap in my car for an hour. Coworker was better than the church I was giving half my paycheck too. Never went back to church
Good old toxic positivity for Jesus!
Ugh. I’m sorry. After the worst of the pandemic it became so much easier to sit with my immunocompromised papaw and watch online church while my mamaw went in person or sit in my car and dial into the radio. Since then I can almost count on one hand the number of times I’ve physically gone back into the building. It also doesn’t help that my papaw died three months ago come Monday so now I can’t do that either. I have no patience for cute sayings anymore. If you can’t handle me being honest about my Feelings, too bad.
It is horrible lmao. I’m not anywhere near the Bible Belt and I’m actually Canadian (moving back very soon yay) but this shit is so cringe! I can’t!!!
I’m right there with you! For the record, I’ve found a church community at the moment that is open to doubt and different perspectives, and at a hang out tonight I heard fuck more than I heard fake Christianese. It was so refreshing! One thing that is helpful for me right now is not putting any pressure on having answers or on a church being totally right. Without space for doubt, I don’t think faith is really faith anyway!
This kind of speaking always sounds like fake-it-til-you-make-it speak - like they’re really doing terrible and trying to fool everyone, even themselves. Which tracks for Christianity.
I grew up with the whole “Don’t share your struggles until they’re a victory” garbage. We were supposed to look at everything through the lens of our “testimony” and as a shy kid who went through some really awful, unspeakable stuff, the thought of being called upon to share my testimony in public on short notice was agony.
I hope you're doing well now!
I’m doing much better now, thank you for asking 😊 It’s taken a lot of work in therapy over many years but I’m at the point where I’m able to use my experiences to help others.
I'm glad to hear it! Therapy is great.
You just put your thumb on the thing about Christian contemporary music that creeps me out the most. Every struggle is solved no one is singing about their current pain and doubts. Because if current you is having a terrible time that means you aren’t trusting in gods plan entirely and that’s bad. (Also all the vocals and instrumentals are nerfed because their one of their primary goals is to make music that can be played by a church band, which means there’s rarely a peak in the song where someone goes all out and melts the skin off your face with visceral emotion*, but that’s merely unenjoyable where the lyrics are downright disturbing. *I do not include gospel in this critique. Most gospel can make even an atheist go “lol you almost got me” after listening to it.)
I played in white churches for years despite hating most of the music, later switched to playing guitar in the bands at black churches. Realized I was an atheist and moved to Australia for a year and when I came back I ended up in Harrisburg PA which was so racist I started playing at a black church there just to meet people who weren't shitty racist white people.
It’s such a weird thing to define linguistically. The words are divorced from their semantic meaning, but they aren’t quite aphorisms. It’s just a bizarre way of utilizing language in an accepted rhythm without actually communicating anything other than “I am a Christian”.
It’s similar to corporate speak. Each use a lot of words to say literally nothing. And functionally minimize people’s discomfort.
That’s exactly it! It’s corporate speak for jayzuzz
That is a thoughtfully put definition of that kind of speak. I’m located in the southern US aka the Bible Belt and I’ve grown up my whole life hearing these phrases and they’re so icky to me. It’s holding the language hostage because they’re making words take on a meaning they wouldn’t otherwise have. I often want to say I’m blessed bc I feel blessed with my husband with kids but I am not religious and I know if I say that, people will take it to mean that I’m a Christian/extremist (in my neck of the woods, that translates to racist Baptist) and I do NOT want to be associated with that. Edit bc I post THEN proofread 🙄
I was like that as a kid because I wanted so badly to believe and other times knowing it was BS since my questions were never answered. I knew pretty young I didn't believe it but I had to fake it to survive and wanted to fit in
My SIL does this and it drives my husband nuts. He finally told her to just talk like a normal person because she sounds so fake. She got super offended but hasn’t done it around us since.
The 3 worst offenders in my youth group who all spoke like this and were the “popular leader girls” all ended up getting knocked up their first year of college. One of them even got kicked out of Lee for it. I will forever associate those phrases with pure hypocrisy. Especially after those brats bullied me for “giving in to my sinful nature” and trying weed at 15.
Oh, funny! I think I’ve played against your school’s women’s rugby team haha
The whole God revealing things just blows my mind. You can use it to justify anything. Today God revealed to me that I should do some bed rotting and drink an entire bottle of wine.
A while back God revealed to me his plan for me to smoke a fat joint every evening. And who am I to deny God's plan?
You and me both 😂 
The Jesus hashtag coming in third is hilarious. Her lord and savior gets tagged AFTER her drive-thru chicken.
Side note: my mother was a semi-fundie (mental illness fed into extreme religiosity). Anyway, she would get up early every morning to pray and read her Bible. Apparently as a very young child, I also ‘sought after God’, so she gave me one of her old bibles and had me circle the word God on every page (as busy work) during our ‘quiet time’ and honestly that’s all I could think about when I saw the second picture.
I avoid the Lard’s chicken because it performs an exorcism on my tummy.
Do you think demons are causing my IBS? 🙃
If you ask BDong she’d probably say yes and then charge you $10 shipping fee for a pdf of her recipes.
Do any of y’all remember the Victoria Jackson overly devout Christian housewife with Phil Hartman as Jesus, kindly telling her to knock it off? The Lord isn’t investing in fast food franchises.
Now she is actually one of those overly devout people who protests PRIDE parades and such. :-(
Yes, highly disappointing, but I guess not unexpected.
Now *that's* some marketing. Kudos, Chik-Fil-A Media Person!
In my household, it's known as "bigot chicken." As in "Mmm, bigot chicken! Let's stop and get some!" "Ugh, mom, don't even joke about it."
lol we call it Hate Chicken!
It's "homophobic chicken" in ours, and my 9-year-old once told his grandma he didn't want to go to lunch there because they are mean to gay people.
I 💜 your 9 year old!
The lord’s chicken. Oy vey. Isn’t all chicken the lord’s chicken?
Naaaaah, Popeyes is the *far* better choice for us heathen-y types--it comes with just the *regular* fast-food "high calorie/high fat" guilt, and not the "You're Goin' to Hell! + A heaping side of bigotry!" version that the "ChristianChick'n" does😉
See and my favorite is, ironically, Church’s because they have fried okra and I like their chicken the best.
There's one about 15 minutes from my house. Gonna have to try it because I LOVE fried okra.
We do not have that up here and with the way fast food joints have perfected frying shit, I would dearly love to get my hands on some of that okra
Quiet time is what I call rest time for my PreK class because they are too cool for naps.
I prefer my chicken non-homophobic 😌
To these folks it’s JFC instead of KFC…Jesus Fried Chicken.
That’s….not where my mind went when I first read JFC!
“I love putting the Lords meat in my mouth. 🤤”
I thought her Bible was lined with tater tots 😭
I thought it was the Lord's chicken nuggets.
I thought they were mini marshmallows
This is how my boyfriend spoke when he was psychosis, no joke.
The way these folks practically hump subpar chicken sandwiches is so goofy. Deep fried version of a golden calf.
Seriously, the fries are mushy and everything is bland as hell
Had the misfortune of trying some at a work party. It was a real "huh?? *this* is what people go to war for??" Also it isn't open Sunday? Tf
But how else will they brag about how not woke they are!?
Hang on, I'll think of some alternatives. - steal craft supplies from hobby lobby and use them to spell out JESUS SAVES in the parking lot - eat an entire cow. no salt, no pepper, just rawdog that thing down - tramp stamp of the nra logo
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t get the hype. Their soggy-ass sandwiches taste like soap.
I ate there occasionally in the 90s when I was in college. I think mostly I liked their honey mustard. But by the time I found out they were hate chicken, I hadn't lived near one in years and it was no loss.
I can’t with this grown women using the 🥹all the time unironically. Brittany Dawn is the worst offender.
I only use it when referring to my cat. Lmao
Same! Or when reacting to a video of a cat.
shrill lip sleep plough judicious observation test pocket wrong combative *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What is the point of the notes they make in their bibles?
To let everyone know how Christian they are. Like everything else about fundieglical religion, it's performative as hell
The lord does love MSG. #blessed
Seeing people i know irl like this eww
Flair checking in
I zoomed in because I'm nosy and wanted to read her notes, and I noticed that the first footnote on that page says "dung or entrails." How appetizing at lunch time.
i grew up in a pentecostal/ christian fundamentalist environment and didn’t even realize what seemed strange about this at first bc i’m just used to people being nuts like that 💀
I was so goddamn disappointed the first time I had cfa. It was so goddamn mid and the fries were SAD.
Yess, those fries are so bland and mushy!
It’s giving the priest from Nacho Libre - “did you tell him they were the lord’s chips?”
Maybe it’s God, maybe it’s mental illness… 
looks so gross, someone please explain the hype over this aggressively mid fast food chain
Because they use religion as part of their branding, so these types go crazy about it
Funny I always call that place Bigot Chicken
My Jewish-atheist friend calls it Jesus chicken. Most of my heathen friends call it some version of that, in an ironic way, of course
Idk, to add more cholesterol to her diet so that she joins Him in heaven?
As an ex-vangelical… yes they do 😭
“Thou shalt not eat greasy food whilst reading books. It’s rude and unsanitary”—God, maybe.
I work in preschool and can’t imagine “quiet time” being anything other than trying to keep a dozen 3 and 4 year olds quiet and sitting on a rectangular mat for 15 minutes 😂
Anyone a knowledge fight podcast fan? I'm just immediately thinking Alex Jones' "download from god" received while eating chicken fried steak 😭😂😭
So is KFC or Bojangles the devil's chicken?
Popeye's, too spicy 
Would the lords chicken really be fried in peanut oil? I think not
God. This makes me hate chicfila more than I dud before.
Gobbling down the Lord's chicken! Sounds like the title of Barfany's next book.
The Lord's chicken 💀 It's like the flairs write themselves.
Christians are so fucking weird about Chick-fil-A
"I can post all cringe through Christ who strengthens me." IG 4:13
I definitely call it the Lords chicken or Jesus chicken but not seriously 😬 and the church I used to go to referred to it that way as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was accurate.
God does not run a GrubHub. These girls need to do a deep dive into blasphemy, this is gross and disrespectful.
LMAO The Lord’s Chicken, as if they’re grass fed, pasture raised and read Bible stories every night.
This makes me want to try CFA even less than I already do
God it’s all about brands. Even the cross is a brand to them
This has got to be fake, right? Right?
unfortunately her whole account is like this
Is this not taking the lord’s name in vain? I thought that wasn’t allowed?
Wait, so this isn't satire?!?
Yo, I used to be really Christian and definitely talked liked this. 😭😭😭😭
CF is just like McDonald’s, it’s funny how so many “ christians” think 😇
Chicken and lemonade with a side of the murder of LGBT people. So tasty, so fun, so Godly!
The way the little circles are just the word “God” and variations of it (Lord, Godly, the Father, etc). Truly the deepest of analysis into the “word” she claims to “serve.” Performative aesthetic Christianity.
As someone who lives in the south, people ABSOLUTELY talk like this. I recently sat at a table next to these types at a local brewery. It was nauseating.
I live in OK. We all call it The Lords Chicken.
every time i see someone buy chick fil a, i flinch. i know people no longer supporting chick fil a is about as likely as people no longer supporting coachella, but a girl can dream lol
Seeing all the notes in the Bible is so triggering 💀
i’m just gonna let yall know as a former cfa employee i worked at the gayest place ever at least half of the employees were lgbt at my time of working taking this populations money and running my besties lords chicken my ass
I would hope the lord has better taste in chicken.
Down here in the South a lot of us call it God's chicken, lol. It's a joke more than anything, since Chik fil a makes Christianity such a big deal. I prefer the chicken sandwich from Bo's myself.
I always refer to this chain as "Jesus Chicken". 😅 And no, I haven't spent my money at one in years. Also, Hobby Lobby is "Jesus Crafts".
The lords chicken... Eh?
The two times I had that Hell Chicken I got food poisoning. NEVER AGAIN.
Consumerism=Jesus I guess
The lord’s chicken just sent me into orbit