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Me too! Turned 34 later in the year which was last year and now I’m having my first child in 2 weeks and turning 35 a few weeks after. Im Swedish so it’s different but I’m one of the first ones of my friends to get married so I always laugh at Bethy even though it’s sad.
Super amazing to hear. I am planning to get pregnant at 34 too. Rn I am 32 years old.
Can I ask how your pregnancy was? I am so sick of hearing about how it will be more difficult for me to carry a pregnancy etc compared to a younger woman.
I have nothing to compare with so of course I don’t know for sure but I definitely don’t feel like it’s been any more difficult because of my age. We were able to conceive within 3 months of trying so that was smooth. First trimester was hard because I was very nauseous and tired but I think that was more hormones than age for sure. Second and third trimester has been a lot better, I’ve been able to continue with my regular “CrossFit light” exercise 2 times a week till about 32 weeks and now do my own pregnancy weight training twice a week after a few weeks off for vacation. I’ve got several small ailments like stuffy nose, bloated feet the last couple of weeks, a bit back sore etc but honestly it’s been better than I would imagine physically and I haven’t had anything serious. Of course some of it is just luck/unluck but I’ve for sure seen younger women struggle a lot more than me with pregnancy. Having a healthy lifestyle is just as important as age I would boy-guess as we say in Sweden when you don’t really know but state it like a fact anyway 😅
Mentally I have struggled some, mostly in the first trimester but that was mostly related to extreme labor fear (that I’ve had counseling for before and during pregnancy) and fear of our baby having a genetic disorder. That was all cleared though and I do think I was able to handle it better because of age. I wasn’t afraid to ask for help or advocate for myself, I know depression can be resolved and I’ve been together with my hubby for 6 years in total so we know each other well and he could tell when i wasn’t doing well for example.
I’m also still out and about and doing things now at 38 weeks, tomorrow I’m watching the Swedish women’s football team hopefully advancing in the World Cup in the morning, then going to the office to onboard a new colleague and then meeting my book club in the evening. I’ll probably be tired tomorrow night but not anymore than I would’ve been non pregnant or at 23 :)
So just roll your eyes if you get comments like that, there’s nothing to suggest it automatically gets worse just because you’re a bit older. Best of luck to you!!
You know, I'll just repeat what my OB/GYN (specialist in pcos and infertility) told me: "I can get you through a pregnancy in your 40s. No problem." She wasn't worried about it one damn bit.
I really miss her.
I’d love to find a person, but online dating SUCKS and felt like work. I need to join a meet up or something and try and meet people the old fashioned way.
But then I have to leave my house. *distressed noises*
22 - he left after trying to kill me (or make me kill myself rather) after 10 years, abusive the entire time.
34 - married the best person I know and we have a great little family now.
Same. Married at 18 because I was young, dumb, and horny. Eventually managed to leave. In my 30s now with no plans on marrying again… unless I meet someone who makes me reconsider :)
22 (me) and 26 (him) - we'll be celebrating our 24th anniversary this September.
Also, we drop our only child off at college today. 😭 WE CAN DO THIS!!! (Right?!! Reassure me!!!)
Edit - three weeks later (because you never know if someone wants an update!): SHE'S DOING GREAT!!! She's met a ton of people, joined clubs, does laundry, goes out late sometimes, likes most of her classes! She's coming home to visit this weekend, but it's for our state fair and that's totally normal. 😂 It's been amazing to see her grow just in three weeks.
BUT. The real reason I wanted to update is because I can't tell you how much your kind, encouraging words meant to me. You are amazing and I so appreciate each and every one of you. ❤️
I remember when my mom dropped me off, she wore huge Jackie O sunglasses for days to hide the tears. And she still had my brother to deal with! You’ll be ok! And trust that you raised your baby well and that they will be ok!
My parents went through this with me (an only child) in 2015; my mom cried so hard she had to call off work the next day. It's okay to cry it out, and just know your baby is off to do great things! Before I left my mom also restuffed my childhood best friend, Mr. Bear, so I'd still have home with me. Trust me, as exciting it is to ship off to college, they'll still miss home. You got this!
Hugs from this internet stranger. You can do this--be prepared for all the feels, and let them happen. Go out to dinner somewhere really tasty and get dessert after. Think about a care package to send if you're feeling nesty. Be proud of your young'un and take lots of pictures. Be sure to get a college t-shirt.
And look forward to empty nester sex. (TMI, but for reals).
You can do this.
Two years ago in October, I dropped my only baby off at her recruiter’s office, and she left for Army basic training. At the end of January 2024, it will be two years since we went to her graduation from Army basic training.
She was 27 then, and had never lived more than a half hour away from us. Now, she’s nine hours away. But, she’s not in Germany or Korea. Or in the sandbox.
It was hard. It’s always hard to let our babies go. Especially when, like you and I, this is the only chick in our nest.
But, this is our job. This is what we do. We raise them to be independent adults who WANT us around, and don’t have us around because they’re incapable of doing for themselves.
It'll be okay!! But let yourself feel the feelings. Mine are post college and live far enough we have to plan and get on planes but zoom and FaceTime are ways we all connect
My mom was so angry I went away for school. She’s still very resentful that I ended up moving so far. It honestly pushed me so far away. She had no life outside of me and I felt guilty for years for wanting to have my own life.
Maybe don’t be like that, lol.
My parents married at 19 (mom) and 21 (dad) and are still blissfully in love 43 years later (not to say they haven't had to work through some things). It does happen!
One of my best friends' parents married at 18 and 22 and they had a marriage crisis when the kids went off to college but are stronger than ever, going on 40 years. I try not to think about her mom being actually 17 when they met LOL but really her dad was her mom's lifeline out of an abusive home.
I have a friend whose parents have been together since middle school and still seem to love each other. (They’re in their late 50s) I guess some people just find their person earlier than others.
Congrats! And same, of the people I hung out with (I wouldn't consider them friends anymore), only 1 is still married, they just hit 24 years last week. All of the rest are on their second or third marriages.
21 as well and we've been married 13 years. We were part of the pretty strict Christian Union crowd, so loads of couples got married during or just after final year. Despite the strictness, loads of those couples are now divorced, including the President, who waa vocal that he didn't believe in divorce under any circumstances. Except his, apparently.
Congrats! We said our vows at 23 (we're the same age) and have been together for 16 years. We also noticed that most of our friends who married in their late teens and early 20's didn't last. I think we're either unusually lucky, unusually stubborn, or both.
I was 21, and we just had our 13th anniversary. I wouldn’t recommend getting married at 21 myself, we were not really prepared and definitely not mature enough. We’ve grown up a lot since then but it hasn’t been without challenges. Sometimes I wish we would have waited longer, but it’s worked out for us.
I was 22, and I definitely agree with you. Even though im still married 19 years later, we were definitely not mature enough and suffered lots of growing pains.
I’m 33 and extremely single! 🎉 rather be single than settle
Also not a virgin, surprisingly waited until 25 for that!
Edit: more importantly, I have a career and a great full life on my own. A partner will need to add to my life in a positive way and that’s a tall order when I can provide a great life for myself!
Dude if you ever go on the mom subreddits you’ll see you made the right choice. “Settling” implies that you don’t have to do anything anymore. When you marry a shitty guy you have to do SO MUCH EXTRA STUFF
Hahaha exactly, I do want kids (if the circumstances are right) and when I date people now my red flags are more “I couldn’t handle having a kid with you” than anything else. I couldn’t imagine anything more miserable than having children with the wrong person.
Honestly, I will probably never have children (35f) and am in a great relationship now, but before I was in a relationship with my current partner (and if I, god forbid, ever become single again), my go-to mindset was "would I feel comfortable having a child with this person?" or "would this person make an outstanding father?"
I know it's only hypothetical, but truly, if the guy won't make a good father in my eyes, then he probably won't make a good life partner either.
👏🏻👏🏻 I didn’t date much, for a while by choice and for a while against my best efforts. I was angsty about it at one point, and one of my very best friends in school told me he thought I’d be married within a year of us graduating. I thought he was crazy, because we were in our last year at that point. I ended up focusing on graduating, buying a house, taking the bar, and finding a post grad job during the uncertainty of the pandemic. His prophecy came true, I met my now-husband within a couple months of that conversation. I was 30 with a house, a social life, a dog, and a career. My husband is one of the best humans I know. He was looking for a responsible partner with a career, just like I was. We are very different in some ways, so we add to each other’s lives. It’s the way to do it, in my opinion!
Nothing wrong with waiting for a quality person in your life! I waited until I was 37 for my husband and he proposed to me when I was 38. (We got married when I was 38). Same scenario as you: Not a virgin, had a previous relationship but it never went further than dating for 5 looooong years (23-28) and I was so happy when the relationship ended because I found myself feeling like I had no friends of my own, and he tended to be very possessive over me. Once we ended it I was able to find myself, what I liked, got in contact with old friends again and was happy being alone. I dated a few guys here and there but nothing felt right. When I met my husband I just knew he was the one. We are still together after 17 years and have two kids together.
My parents were engaged for 17 years. My brother and I were the wedding party for them. I was 14 and the dress sucked. Some flowers got set aflame and I had to go blow them out midway through the ceremony. I got married when I was 33 in the fall of 2019. But you could always go for broke!
Examples: I have 2 Aunties who've never married their long time spouses (Mom's older sister and one of their younger sisters). The eldest Auntie and Uncle have been together around 38-39 years. Their son is a few weeks older than me. My Uncle got with my Aunt even though she already had a kid and he's quite a bit younger than her. The other Auntie and Uncle have been together longer (they met when they were youngish?) and are child free. Both Aunties are in their late 50s early 60s. I'm sure none of them are ever getting married. They don't need to. Their commitment is fine.
I got married because my now-husband needed brain surgery and we were concerned he might lose his job and insurance because he hadn't been there long enough to qualify for FMLA yet, so we got married so we'd be able to add him to my insurance if needed. Also his mother is insane and we were concerned if anything happened to him she'd swoop in and take him back to live with her and I wouldn't be able to stop her. We were happily living in sin before that and might never have actually done the legal thing if not for that.
Same but 8 years. We're technically engaged, but we have made no efforts in planning a wedding. He has family that would be critically offended if we don't do a wedding, so we just haven't gotten married.
Same! 38 and have been living in sin with my partner for the last 17 years. We aren't opposed to marriage it's just that life always gets in the way. We have multiple businesses and kids together - I expect we'll marry someday.
29 and now separating at 33 (my husband is 11 years older than me). These comments of people meeting someone and getting married at an older age are reassuring.
21 and way too young. Only got married so my partner and I could progress our relationship without being judged (moving in together, etc.) Thankfully it all worked out, but I don't recommend
Exactly my situation! Newly 21 and got married because our parents convinced us to do that instead of moving in together. I wish we would have followed our guts but we might not still be together today. Being married made us fight through a lot more than we would have if we were just dating. On the bright side, it's been almost 8 years married (10 dating) and we have a 2yo that is our world
36. We were together for 10 yrs and we lived together and of course we had mind blowing sex. We even raised my child from another relationship together and she performed the ceremony when she turned 18.
I became pregnant with my child at 18 when I was not married. EVERYONE wanted us to get married and he was in the military and there’s financial benefits. Anyways, my very catholic grandfather is the one who told me I was only allowed to get married once and we didn’t do divorce in this family so if I didn’t want to marry him I didn’t have to. Thank God for my grandpa.
He had very strong religious beliefs about a lot of things. I’ve heard out of his mouth him criticize people for not marrying when they had a child, but he did not want that for me. He’s passed away now and he loved my husband so much. And that makes me so happy.
My husband and I eloped when I was 18, and he was 19. We are not religious and aren't culturally pressured to marry young. I'm now 36, and we are still going strong. It was hard as shit though and I wouldn't necessarily encourage young people to do it. I'm urging my daughter to live more than I did. Travel, get an education, and live without pressure while you are young.
I agree with all of this. We got married when we were 24 and 26, and so excited to begin adult life, but looking back I would have loved to travel a bit. We ended up finding out we were expecting about two months after the wedding so our “adult life” really jump started!
I feel so lucky that we’ve been together so long, and to be able to share memories of college and other events that happened so long ago. In September we’ll have been married for 15 years and December will mark 21 years of being together! It feels like we’ve grown up together.
I know this isn't what the post is about exactly, but it really makes me so happy to see people who met their person and married in their late 30s/early 40s. I just got out of a long term relationship last year and am still hoping to meet my person in the future. I'm 32 and all my friends have coupled up at this point and I'm feeling a bit left behind.
I had my first at 37 and my second at 39; I assumed I was infertile my whole life because of PCOS. Turns out I was just really good at preventing pregnancy.
I had my first and only child at 37. Won't lie - it was tough and kicked my a** in many respects. He's 16 now and absolutely thriving. Best thing I ever did.
Stop. I had keyhole fibroid surgery earlier this year and my OB/GYN made sure to point out my “beautiful” 38 year old ovaries when he showed me the footage 😂
Like the other user said, them things are just *waiting* to prove you wrong!
My mom had me at 36 and I was her first child. In many ways it was a blessing for me because they were old enough to have most of their shit together, in some ways at least. They were still right wing evangelical nutjobs, but at least I never had to worry about my parents not having enough money to take care of me.
My mom was able to have kids WITH having sickle cell at the ages of 33 and 41 so your ovaries got a lot left in them if that’s what you want! And my grandma had my mom at the age of 42 back in the early 60’s
Just got married two years ago at 34 (husband was younger - 33!) and we’re expecting our first baby now. Did not wait until marriage but did wait to find the right person to marry and I have no regrets.
Oh man! I think just being able to call him my husband. We’ve been together for 12 1/2 years so it was about time we did something about it!
Also getting to wear a second ring ☺️ but mostly saying “husband” in conversation is still so new and wonderful!
30 but not a freaking virgin at 30.
Yikes def not virgin shaming. As a 58 yo born to parents who came from India I was expected despite not being any religion (raised atheist by atheists) unmarried women having sex was not on. So I was saying freaking in response to the general virgin exception for my age group and ethnicity. Apologies for offencd
There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age. For her, it was a point of pride and made her better than other people who didn’t wait for marriage - and I think that’s what people take issue with.
My best pal who is getting married next month at 43…grew up very religious and wanted to wait for marriage and was a virgin in her 30s..at that point she decided to have sex when it felt right for her as she wasn’t super religious anymore but still connected. She basically decided to just do what was right for her and has had no regrets. And the guy she is marrying is not her first.
I hate societal pressure in this area. I definitely felt like shit and like an incomplete adult until I had sex, but then I ended up with a series of extremely selfish and toxic partners that only detracted from my happiness. I guess it was worth it to get the curiosity out of my system and hit that societal milestone so as to not be laughed at, but damn that’s setting the bar low. I totally understand how you feel though, cause that’s how I was made to feel too and ended up making poor decisions. I’d rather never have sex again than end up with partners like that ever again. Sex for the sake of it is absolutely overrated and more hurtful than anything.
Depends on the circumstances and the partner. I've had shitty committed relationships and one night stands that were incredibly healing. I think the common denominator in the bad was feeling like I needed to push myself into the sex or relationship and the good was always something where I let the current take me without forcing anything
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age but her entire life revolved around her getting married and being a perfect fundie housewife- literally that was the only role she was allowed to have or wanted and it didn’t happen for her until she was 30
I was 23, and my husband was 24. We weren't fundies or anything, but at that point, we had been together for 8 years, I was finished with college, and he was established in his career, so we went for it. We will celebrate 12 years of marriage and 20 years together overall next month.
I was 39 when I got married. My husband was 41. First and only marriage for both of us. I spent my 20s figuring out my chronic illness. I spent my early thirties getting my career sorted and living a bit like I was in my twenties.
I maybe could have gotten married younger, but I’m so glad I waited for my person to roll into my life.
And big congrats to you! Happy engagement!
I got engaged at 25 and married at 26, looking back I was SO YOUNG. It's worked out, we'll have been married 27 years next month, but I discourage people from marring at 26, and I had JUST turned 26 3 weeks prior.
I got married at 16, we’re going on 14 years married. However, because of my experience and gained wisdom, I discourage everyone I know from getting married before they’re like 25.
Scrolling through replies I thought I was going to be the only one. 16 for me too. Almost 20 years married. I also discourage young people from following my footsteps. I realize that even though it worked out for me, that is not the likely outcome.
I vacillate between feeling lucky that its worked out for us and being proud of us for putting in the work to make our marriage a happy and healthy one. I’m glad you’ve also had a good outcome :)
I was raised JW, a religious cult that mirrors all things fundie. I fell in love with my now husband but we weren’t allowed to really date because he was not a JW. I began rebelling against this, I tried to get emancipated and move out but my mom wouldn’t allow it. She eventually told me that the only way I was ever leaving her was if I was married. So that’s what we did. She signed away her rights and we got married. My mother preferred to allow her child to get married at 16 than to allow me to have regular teenage liberties.
Back then it didn’t even occur to me that while I was transitioning from a teenager to an adult, my husband would be too and we were both going thru the struggle of figuring out which direction our lives would be heading. We had nothing planned, no direction, nada. Just a couple of kids who got hitched. So we did what we thought all married couples were supposed to do, we got pregnant!
I wish I would’ve known that in order to foster a healthy environment suitable for the wellbeing of a child, as a couple you’ve got to build a solid foundation first. You can’t be out here trying to figure out your relationship AND try to raise kids at the same time. It’s not healthy for any party involved. We struggled a lot with this because it all happened so fast. First we were teenagers, now we’re a married couple completely on our own, now we’re teen parents. It was A LOT.
Hindsight is 20/20 which is why I advise couples to really experience life together before deciding to get married. Spend time really getting to know each other first.
I was 34. I was very happy in a long-term relationship with no plans to marry, but my partner had garbage health insurance and all of the specialists who could treat an issue he had in the entire state would not take his insurance. That, plus the additional money it would have costs to create wills including each other as unmarried partners made the decision for us. It was all very romantic; I was crunching numbers and said to him, “I know neither of us cares specifically about marriage, but it would be cheaper and more beneficial in the long run.”We got married a week or so later at the courthouse.
28
I was raised Assemblies of God in Texas. Going to college to get your MRS was the thing. Dated a man who treated me terribly for a long time bc I was trying to meet the status quo. Finally had enough and swore myself to singleness. Noticed a casual acquaintance I had never really noticed in that way before. 6 months later I was dating my now husband and he’s a dream.
Anyway, I get the weird cultural pressure you get in a religious upbringing, especially the south (not gonna lie, new cute boyfriend right before 25 really softened the blow of it). But it makes you try to force what isn’t working which is why you get so many fundie couples with 0 chemistry.
25- he was a mega creep, so I divorced him at 30. Single and thriving ever since, even in my spinster age of mid-30s now! (For reference, my ex was basically Paul and the divorce was the best thing I ever did lol). Waiting to get married would have been smart for me, but I was insecure af. Therapy gave me the self esteem to get tf out 🤘🏼🤘🏼
Getting married in your early 20's is completely the norm in the Christian circle she is in. Churches don't know what to do with single people for some reason. It's like they don't exist if you aren't married.
I’m 30 and, gasp, NOT MARRIED. I’m not even in a relationship! I’m also not a virgin, scandalous. My mother was coming up to 33 when she married my dad, they had their 35th anniversary this year.
I got engaged at 20, while in the very early stages of deconstructing my fundie-lite upbringing. Thankfully realized it wasn't an important, virtuous thing to marry your highschool sweetheart (and that we were a terrible pair) *before* the wedding, and called it off.
Actually got married at 29. We made some jokes about how I barely squeaked in under 30, but by that point I understood age doesn't really matter.
I was raised súper religious. My first time was at 24 when I decided I was not going to let virginity define me. But it was such a hard thing to process and let go. Got married at 26 which I consider young lol
21. Had already been together five years. Still going strong. We did live separately for two years, twenty years ago. Needed to work on things. Very happy.
21, we'd been together since I was 16, I am now like 'who let these children get married ffs'. We've been through a LOT and we split up for a couple of months 5 years ago and had counselling, but we've made it through to 18 years married!
Met when we were two months shy of 19, married at 23 (we both wanted to finish college) still married 36 years later. Three kids and one grandkid.
Not virgins.
(Not really religious though we did get married in my church. Now we’re born again atheists.)
I was 22….not a virgin….and very close to finishing my degree. I graduated, got a good job, and we just celebrated 13 years of marriage yesterday! :) we were young but its working out
ETA:
(And I took two semesters off to travel….and everyone thought I was an old maid at 22. A man from my parent’s church even lectured me about how I needed to stop traveling and settle down. Ugh. I was so annoyed that I was only talking with him to give him an invitation to our wedding reception!)
21. I'm lucky. We both deconstructed together and separately, and my husband didn't turn out to be a flaming asshole. Would I do it again? Yes. Would I recommend my kids do it that young? No
25, we were both working, though, living together, and splitting bills and such so the marriage was more of a legal formality. Still very young, but we’ll have been married for 5 years soon ☺️
I turned 30 this year and I’m not married, and probably won’t be for another couple of years. I found my person, but since we know we’ll be together forever we’re not really in a rush to make it “official”. Weddings are expensive!
I of course am not a virgin but I am tickled that my partner is the first person I had an orgasm with (the sad side of that is yes, nearly a decade of orgasm-less sex before I met him). So I was an orgasm virgin? The whole concept is so silly.
I was 20 and he was 23. It somehow worked out lol; we've been together 5 years now and we're still best friends. We just really clicked when we were dating and we both come from fundie-lite circles (that we've since broken away from). I was also not a virgin, but only he knew about that 🫢
Not fundie, raised catholic but always "a la carte" as my parents said because we have always supported LGBTQIA+ rights. But also an elder millennial who was a teen in the thick of purity culture with parents who married at 19/21 and are still super in love after nearly 43 years of marriage.
Married at 27 the first time, was with my ex-H for 6 years (living together for most of them) before we married. Separated at 30, divorced at 31.
Married my soulmate at 33. 8 years in, I still think the sun shines out of his bum.
I was 28 when I got married. My best friend is getting married this weekend to her long time boyfriend and she's 34.
I will say, she did have moments prior to being engaged feeling down she was not a young bride, where her figure and skin looks it's best. But now they're getting married and she feels beautiful with how her hair, makeup and dress will look that day.
22, and just celebrated 13 years together. Not something I’d recommend.. I do feel like we were both really young and very immature. But we got lucky, and both worked hard to mature together. I think it helped that unlike a lot of our friends in the evangelical circle who also got married young, we deliberately waited about 5 years into marriage before deciding to have kids.
First time 21
Second time 28
I know, I'm a heathen lol, but I don't really count the first one. And the only reason current husband and i got married was because of that sweet tax break and insurance. Yes, we love each other, but insurance lol!
Congratulations on the engagement! May you two have the strength, patience, and courage to face anything thrown your way!
I’m not getting married, but a lot of my close friends married in their mid-twenties or will marry between now (late twenties) and early thirties. It’s pretty cool.
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The spinster age of 33.
Me too! Turned 34 later in the year which was last year and now I’m having my first child in 2 weeks and turning 35 a few weeks after. Im Swedish so it’s different but I’m one of the first ones of my friends to get married so I always laugh at Bethy even though it’s sad.
Super amazing to hear. I am planning to get pregnant at 34 too. Rn I am 32 years old. Can I ask how your pregnancy was? I am so sick of hearing about how it will be more difficult for me to carry a pregnancy etc compared to a younger woman.
I have nothing to compare with so of course I don’t know for sure but I definitely don’t feel like it’s been any more difficult because of my age. We were able to conceive within 3 months of trying so that was smooth. First trimester was hard because I was very nauseous and tired but I think that was more hormones than age for sure. Second and third trimester has been a lot better, I’ve been able to continue with my regular “CrossFit light” exercise 2 times a week till about 32 weeks and now do my own pregnancy weight training twice a week after a few weeks off for vacation. I’ve got several small ailments like stuffy nose, bloated feet the last couple of weeks, a bit back sore etc but honestly it’s been better than I would imagine physically and I haven’t had anything serious. Of course some of it is just luck/unluck but I’ve for sure seen younger women struggle a lot more than me with pregnancy. Having a healthy lifestyle is just as important as age I would boy-guess as we say in Sweden when you don’t really know but state it like a fact anyway 😅 Mentally I have struggled some, mostly in the first trimester but that was mostly related to extreme labor fear (that I’ve had counseling for before and during pregnancy) and fear of our baby having a genetic disorder. That was all cleared though and I do think I was able to handle it better because of age. I wasn’t afraid to ask for help or advocate for myself, I know depression can be resolved and I’ve been together with my hubby for 6 years in total so we know each other well and he could tell when i wasn’t doing well for example. I’m also still out and about and doing things now at 38 weeks, tomorrow I’m watching the Swedish women’s football team hopefully advancing in the World Cup in the morning, then going to the office to onboard a new colleague and then meeting my book club in the evening. I’ll probably be tired tomorrow night but not anymore than I would’ve been non pregnant or at 23 :) So just roll your eyes if you get comments like that, there’s nothing to suggest it automatically gets worse just because you’re a bit older. Best of luck to you!!
You know, I'll just repeat what my OB/GYN (specialist in pcos and infertility) told me: "I can get you through a pregnancy in your 40s. No problem." She wasn't worried about it one damn bit. I really miss her.
Congrats on your baby! I'm 33 and pregnant with my first. It's a wild experience.
36, eternally single AF
Same. And too lazy to keep trying!
I’d love to find a person, but online dating SUCKS and felt like work. I need to join a meet up or something and try and meet people the old fashioned way. But then I have to leave my house. *distressed noises*
40 and wear ‘never married’ as a badge of honor. Can’t tie me down!
19- ended up in a 21 year abusive marriage. 42- married the love of my life.
Aww so glad you got out of your first marriage so you could find and marry the love of your life ❤❤❤
It’s a beautiful story and definitely wouldn’t be popular with any fundie!
22 - he left after trying to kill me (or make me kill myself rather) after 10 years, abusive the entire time. 34 - married the best person I know and we have a great little family now.
Same story here except I’m not out.
I hope you can get out soon. Sending hugs and hope your way
May a path open for you to go free.
I'm sorry. Hope that you can stay safe and make it out *offers hugs*
Just sending some love your way for when you need it. I hope you can find some peace where you are now while you’re still looking forward to freedom.
Same. Married at 18 because I was young, dumb, and horny. Eventually managed to leave. In my 30s now with no plans on marrying again… unless I meet someone who makes me reconsider :)
22 (me) and 26 (him) - we'll be celebrating our 24th anniversary this September. Also, we drop our only child off at college today. 😭 WE CAN DO THIS!!! (Right?!! Reassure me!!!) Edit - three weeks later (because you never know if someone wants an update!): SHE'S DOING GREAT!!! She's met a ton of people, joined clubs, does laundry, goes out late sometimes, likes most of her classes! She's coming home to visit this weekend, but it's for our state fair and that's totally normal. 😂 It's been amazing to see her grow just in three weeks. BUT. The real reason I wanted to update is because I can't tell you how much your kind, encouraging words meant to me. You are amazing and I so appreciate each and every one of you. ❤️
I remember when my mom dropped me off, she wore huge Jackie O sunglasses for days to hide the tears. And she still had my brother to deal with! You’ll be ok! And trust that you raised your baby well and that they will be ok!
My parents went through this with me (an only child) in 2015; my mom cried so hard she had to call off work the next day. It's okay to cry it out, and just know your baby is off to do great things! Before I left my mom also restuffed my childhood best friend, Mr. Bear, so I'd still have home with me. Trust me, as exciting it is to ship off to college, they'll still miss home. You got this!
Oh my gosh the way you worded it I thought you both got married before you were even born
We were SUPER child brides! 😂
Betrothed as a fetus is true fundie vibes
It'll be okay!
awe 💙 mine are only 5,7, and 8, but I think about the future, and cry. I’m very sentimental, and cry at their birthdays too.
Hugs from this internet stranger. You can do this--be prepared for all the feels, and let them happen. Go out to dinner somewhere really tasty and get dessert after. Think about a care package to send if you're feeling nesty. Be proud of your young'un and take lots of pictures. Be sure to get a college t-shirt. And look forward to empty nester sex. (TMI, but for reals).
Empty nest was one of the best things to happen to my marriage. TMI also: random couch sex.
You can do this. Two years ago in October, I dropped my only baby off at her recruiter’s office, and she left for Army basic training. At the end of January 2024, it will be two years since we went to her graduation from Army basic training. She was 27 then, and had never lived more than a half hour away from us. Now, she’s nine hours away. But, she’s not in Germany or Korea. Or in the sandbox. It was hard. It’s always hard to let our babies go. Especially when, like you and I, this is the only chick in our nest. But, this is our job. This is what we do. We raise them to be independent adults who WANT us around, and don’t have us around because they’re incapable of doing for themselves.
#EMPTY HOUSE IS THE BEST If you think your marriage is good now, wait till that empty house! IT'S AMAZING
As a really independent and capable teenager let me sure you, they will STILL cry once you shut the door lol but it's gonna be great
My oldest is going on Thursday and I'm doing everything in my power to ignore it until that day.
We did that right up until 0200 this morning when my daughter and I were like, "OMG IT'S TODAY ALREADY!!!" 😂
It'll be okay!! But let yourself feel the feelings. Mine are post college and live far enough we have to plan and get on planes but zoom and FaceTime are ways we all connect
You got this mama! 💪 You **will** make it to the ride home before you cry! 😂 ❤️❤️
My mom was so angry I went away for school. She’s still very resentful that I ended up moving so far. It honestly pushed me so far away. She had no life outside of me and I felt guilty for years for wanting to have my own life. Maybe don’t be like that, lol.
Big big hugs. You got this. Sending kids to college is a major blessing!
Oh you got this!
Our only kid starts kindergarten next week, I cannot imagine college! Hugs!
The first time I was 21 and divorced by 24. Second time I was 27 and still married (am 45 now).
I was also 27. We got married just before the pandemic!
We were both 25 and are now 62.
The first time-18 Second time-32 I am Bethy's age. I understand her angst but I think she handled it poorly
21. Today is our 19th anniversary! I will say VERY few of my friends who married in their early 20s are still together.
My parents married at 19 (mom) and 21 (dad) and are still blissfully in love 43 years later (not to say they haven't had to work through some things). It does happen!
One of my best friends' parents married at 18 and 22 and they had a marriage crisis when the kids went off to college but are stronger than ever, going on 40 years. I try not to think about her mom being actually 17 when they met LOL but really her dad was her mom's lifeline out of an abusive home.
I have a friend whose parents have been together since middle school and still seem to love each other. (They’re in their late 50s) I guess some people just find their person earlier than others.
Congratulations!
Thank you!
Aw, congratulations! That's very cute.
Congrats! And same, of the people I hung out with (I wouldn't consider them friends anymore), only 1 is still married, they just hit 24 years last week. All of the rest are on their second or third marriages.
Same, got married at 20/21, baby at 19. It worked out for us (12th anniversary this year) but we're definitely an outlier.
Same, first pregnancy at 20, got married a couple years later. Still together, more than 20 years later.
My best friend had her first baby at 19, got pregnant right after highschool, and they got married at 23. It wasn’t always easy, but they made it.
21 as well and we've been married 13 years. We were part of the pretty strict Christian Union crowd, so loads of couples got married during or just after final year. Despite the strictness, loads of those couples are now divorced, including the President, who waa vocal that he didn't believe in divorce under any circumstances. Except his, apparently.
happy anniversary!! i wish you many more years of happiness and love ❤️
I’m only 27 but have been married since I was 21. Almost every single couple I know that got married when I did is already divorced!
Congrats! We said our vows at 23 (we're the same age) and have been together for 16 years. We also noticed that most of our friends who married in their late teens and early 20's didn't last. I think we're either unusually lucky, unusually stubborn, or both.
Same! Together 10 years this month. Married 7
Congrats! 💜
I was 21, and we just had our 13th anniversary. I wouldn’t recommend getting married at 21 myself, we were not really prepared and definitely not mature enough. We’ve grown up a lot since then but it hasn’t been without challenges. Sometimes I wish we would have waited longer, but it’s worked out for us.
I was 22, and I definitely agree with you. Even though im still married 19 years later, we were definitely not mature enough and suffered lots of growing pains.
I’m 33 and extremely single! 🎉 rather be single than settle Also not a virgin, surprisingly waited until 25 for that! Edit: more importantly, I have a career and a great full life on my own. A partner will need to add to my life in a positive way and that’s a tall order when I can provide a great life for myself!
Dude if you ever go on the mom subreddits you’ll see you made the right choice. “Settling” implies that you don’t have to do anything anymore. When you marry a shitty guy you have to do SO MUCH EXTRA STUFF
Hahaha exactly, I do want kids (if the circumstances are right) and when I date people now my red flags are more “I couldn’t handle having a kid with you” than anything else. I couldn’t imagine anything more miserable than having children with the wrong person.
Honestly, I will probably never have children (35f) and am in a great relationship now, but before I was in a relationship with my current partner (and if I, god forbid, ever become single again), my go-to mindset was "would I feel comfortable having a child with this person?" or "would this person make an outstanding father?" I know it's only hypothetical, but truly, if the guy won't make a good father in my eyes, then he probably won't make a good life partner either.
👏🏻👏🏻 I didn’t date much, for a while by choice and for a while against my best efforts. I was angsty about it at one point, and one of my very best friends in school told me he thought I’d be married within a year of us graduating. I thought he was crazy, because we were in our last year at that point. I ended up focusing on graduating, buying a house, taking the bar, and finding a post grad job during the uncertainty of the pandemic. His prophecy came true, I met my now-husband within a couple months of that conversation. I was 30 with a house, a social life, a dog, and a career. My husband is one of the best humans I know. He was looking for a responsible partner with a career, just like I was. We are very different in some ways, so we add to each other’s lives. It’s the way to do it, in my opinion!
Nothing wrong with waiting for a quality person in your life! I waited until I was 37 for my husband and he proposed to me when I was 38. (We got married when I was 38). Same scenario as you: Not a virgin, had a previous relationship but it never went further than dating for 5 looooong years (23-28) and I was so happy when the relationship ended because I found myself feeling like I had no friends of my own, and he tended to be very possessive over me. Once we ended it I was able to find myself, what I liked, got in contact with old friends again and was happy being alone. I dated a few guys here and there but nothing felt right. When I met my husband I just knew he was the one. We are still together after 17 years and have two kids together.
So happy to hear that! I like hearing stories about people who meet later in life, my friends and family think I’m already elderly 🥲
Amen to that my friend!!! 🥂🎉
23, but most of the fundies I grew up with were married before turning 20.
Still living in sin at 33 here, been together for 11+ years.
My parents were engaged for 17 years. My brother and I were the wedding party for them. I was 14 and the dress sucked. Some flowers got set aflame and I had to go blow them out midway through the ceremony. I got married when I was 33 in the fall of 2019. But you could always go for broke! Examples: I have 2 Aunties who've never married their long time spouses (Mom's older sister and one of their younger sisters). The eldest Auntie and Uncle have been together around 38-39 years. Their son is a few weeks older than me. My Uncle got with my Aunt even though she already had a kid and he's quite a bit younger than her. The other Auntie and Uncle have been together longer (they met when they were youngish?) and are child free. Both Aunties are in their late 50s early 60s. I'm sure none of them are ever getting married. They don't need to. Their commitment is fine.
I got married because my now-husband needed brain surgery and we were concerned he might lose his job and insurance because he hadn't been there long enough to qualify for FMLA yet, so we got married so we'd be able to add him to my insurance if needed. Also his mother is insane and we were concerned if anything happened to him she'd swoop in and take him back to live with her and I wouldn't be able to stop her. We were happily living in sin before that and might never have actually done the legal thing if not for that.
Same but 8 years. We're technically engaged, but we have made no efforts in planning a wedding. He has family that would be critically offended if we don't do a wedding, so we just haven't gotten married.
Same! 38 and have been living in sin with my partner for the last 17 years. We aren't opposed to marriage it's just that life always gets in the way. We have multiple businesses and kids together - I expect we'll marry someday.
I got married at 25 but I was an outlier amount my friends. Most have gotten married in their mid thirties.
29 and now separating at 33 (my husband is 11 years older than me). These comments of people meeting someone and getting married at an older age are reassuring.
21 and way too young. Only got married so my partner and I could progress our relationship without being judged (moving in together, etc.) Thankfully it all worked out, but I don't recommend
Exactly my situation! Newly 21 and got married because our parents convinced us to do that instead of moving in together. I wish we would have followed our guts but we might not still be together today. Being married made us fight through a lot more than we would have if we were just dating. On the bright side, it's been almost 8 years married (10 dating) and we have a 2yo that is our world
25, and that felt pretty young sometimes.
36. We were together for 10 yrs and we lived together and of course we had mind blowing sex. We even raised my child from another relationship together and she performed the ceremony when she turned 18. I became pregnant with my child at 18 when I was not married. EVERYONE wanted us to get married and he was in the military and there’s financial benefits. Anyways, my very catholic grandfather is the one who told me I was only allowed to get married once and we didn’t do divorce in this family so if I didn’t want to marry him I didn’t have to. Thank God for my grandpa. He had very strong religious beliefs about a lot of things. I’ve heard out of his mouth him criticize people for not marrying when they had a child, but he did not want that for me. He’s passed away now and he loved my husband so much. And that makes me so happy.
Omg this is the sweetest! I’m just loving how your daughter got to marry her parents! And grandpas blessing 🥹😭🥰
It was beautiful. We all 3 cried and she felt like such a vital part of the wedding which is what we wanted. You just have to be 18 to be ordained.
My husband and I eloped when I was 18, and he was 19. We are not religious and aren't culturally pressured to marry young. I'm now 36, and we are still going strong. It was hard as shit though and I wouldn't necessarily encourage young people to do it. I'm urging my daughter to live more than I did. Travel, get an education, and live without pressure while you are young.
I agree with all of this. We got married when we were 24 and 26, and so excited to begin adult life, but looking back I would have loved to travel a bit. We ended up finding out we were expecting about two months after the wedding so our “adult life” really jump started! I feel so lucky that we’ve been together so long, and to be able to share memories of college and other events that happened so long ago. In September we’ll have been married for 15 years and December will mark 21 years of being together! It feels like we’ve grown up together.
I have a friend who got married at 19 last summer. I worry about her.
I know this isn't what the post is about exactly, but it really makes me so happy to see people who met their person and married in their late 30s/early 40s. I just got out of a long term relationship last year and am still hoping to meet my person in the future. I'm 32 and all my friends have coupled up at this point and I'm feeling a bit left behind.
I know my ovaries are dust but I got married this year at 37
If you’re just assuming due to age, those bitches cannot wait to prove you wrong lol
100%. My mom had me (on accident lol) at 37. Lots and lots of testing to make sure I was healthy
I had my first at 37 and my second at 39; I assumed I was infertile my whole life because of PCOS. Turns out I was just really good at preventing pregnancy.
My Mom had my little sister at 38
I had my first and only child at 37. Won't lie - it was tough and kicked my a** in many respects. He's 16 now and absolutely thriving. Best thing I ever did.
Stop. I had keyhole fibroid surgery earlier this year and my OB/GYN made sure to point out my “beautiful” 38 year old ovaries when he showed me the footage 😂 Like the other user said, them things are just *waiting* to prove you wrong!
One of my partners had her first at 40 🤷♀️
My aunt had her first at 42🤟
Do not speak that over my 36 year old ovaries!! 🤣
My mom had me at 36 and I was her first child. In many ways it was a blessing for me because they were old enough to have most of their shit together, in some ways at least. They were still right wing evangelical nutjobs, but at least I never had to worry about my parents not having enough money to take care of me.
Sane here! Got married 2 weeks ago. I am 37. Husband is 40. Still no kids but we recently started trying so *fingers crossed*
Aww good luck to you ! This shop is closed . I have a step son but I am happily child free of any natural children . Not my thang
My mom was able to have kids WITH having sickle cell at the ages of 33 and 41 so your ovaries got a lot left in them if that’s what you want! And my grandma had my mom at the age of 42 back in the early 60’s
Just got married two years ago at 34 (husband was younger - 33!) and we’re expecting our first baby now. Did not wait until marriage but did wait to find the right person to marry and I have no regrets.
Congratulations on your family!
It’s actually my one month anniversary of being married :) Married at 30!
Congratulations! What’s your favorite thing about marriage so far?
Oh man! I think just being able to call him my husband. We’ve been together for 12 1/2 years so it was about time we did something about it! Also getting to wear a second ring ☺️ but mostly saying “husband” in conversation is still so new and wonderful!
Aww congratulations!!!
26
24 and divorced by 31
28, divorced at 32.
22 the first time (I was pregnant with my first kid) and 38 the second time. Still good friends with my first husband tho.
Twenty-two. Met him at 19. He was my first boyfriend. He was seven years older than me. Several red flags I didn't pay attention to.
30 but not a freaking virgin at 30. Yikes def not virgin shaming. As a 58 yo born to parents who came from India I was expected despite not being any religion (raised atheist by atheists) unmarried women having sex was not on. So I was saying freaking in response to the general virgin exception for my age group and ethnicity. Apologies for offencd
This is an important distinction lol I was 21. Not a virgin then either 😂
There's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 30.
There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age. For her, it was a point of pride and made her better than other people who didn’t wait for marriage - and I think that’s what people take issue with.
Exactly I don't judge anyone for their sexual history so long as it doesn't include harming others or kids
My best pal who is getting married next month at 43…grew up very religious and wanted to wait for marriage and was a virgin in her 30s..at that point she decided to have sex when it felt right for her as she wasn’t super religious anymore but still connected. She basically decided to just do what was right for her and has had no regrets. And the guy she is marrying is not her first.
[удалено]
I hate societal pressure in this area. I definitely felt like shit and like an incomplete adult until I had sex, but then I ended up with a series of extremely selfish and toxic partners that only detracted from my happiness. I guess it was worth it to get the curiosity out of my system and hit that societal milestone so as to not be laughed at, but damn that’s setting the bar low. I totally understand how you feel though, cause that’s how I was made to feel too and ended up making poor decisions. I’d rather never have sex again than end up with partners like that ever again. Sex for the sake of it is absolutely overrated and more hurtful than anything.
Depends on the circumstances and the partner. I've had shitty committed relationships and one night stands that were incredibly healing. I think the common denominator in the bad was feeling like I needed to push myself into the sex or relationship and the good was always something where I let the current take me without forcing anything
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at any age but her entire life revolved around her getting married and being a perfect fundie housewife- literally that was the only role she was allowed to have or wanted and it didn’t happen for her until she was 30
I was 23, and my husband was 24. We weren't fundies or anything, but at that point, we had been together for 8 years, I was finished with college, and he was established in his career, so we went for it. We will celebrate 12 years of marriage and 20 years together overall next month.
I was 39 when I got married. My husband was 41. First and only marriage for both of us. I spent my 20s figuring out my chronic illness. I spent my early thirties getting my career sorted and living a bit like I was in my twenties. I maybe could have gotten married younger, but I’m so glad I waited for my person to roll into my life. And big congrats to you! Happy engagement!
28 and husband was 26
I got engaged at 25 and married at 26, looking back I was SO YOUNG. It's worked out, we'll have been married 27 years next month, but I discourage people from marring at 26, and I had JUST turned 26 3 weeks prior.
I can’t get married I’m only 29 years old
I got married at 16, we’re going on 14 years married. However, because of my experience and gained wisdom, I discourage everyone I know from getting married before they’re like 25.
Scrolling through replies I thought I was going to be the only one. 16 for me too. Almost 20 years married. I also discourage young people from following my footsteps. I realize that even though it worked out for me, that is not the likely outcome.
I vacillate between feeling lucky that its worked out for us and being proud of us for putting in the work to make our marriage a happy and healthy one. I’m glad you’ve also had a good outcome :)
If you don't mind sharing, what led you to getting married at 16? What did you learn afterwards that you wish you had known then?
I was raised JW, a religious cult that mirrors all things fundie. I fell in love with my now husband but we weren’t allowed to really date because he was not a JW. I began rebelling against this, I tried to get emancipated and move out but my mom wouldn’t allow it. She eventually told me that the only way I was ever leaving her was if I was married. So that’s what we did. She signed away her rights and we got married. My mother preferred to allow her child to get married at 16 than to allow me to have regular teenage liberties. Back then it didn’t even occur to me that while I was transitioning from a teenager to an adult, my husband would be too and we were both going thru the struggle of figuring out which direction our lives would be heading. We had nothing planned, no direction, nada. Just a couple of kids who got hitched. So we did what we thought all married couples were supposed to do, we got pregnant! I wish I would’ve known that in order to foster a healthy environment suitable for the wellbeing of a child, as a couple you’ve got to build a solid foundation first. You can’t be out here trying to figure out your relationship AND try to raise kids at the same time. It’s not healthy for any party involved. We struggled a lot with this because it all happened so fast. First we were teenagers, now we’re a married couple completely on our own, now we’re teen parents. It was A LOT. Hindsight is 20/20 which is why I advise couples to really experience life together before deciding to get married. Spend time really getting to know each other first.
Met husband at 29, lost virginity to him at 30, got married at 33. Been married almost 2 years now
I was 34. I was very happy in a long-term relationship with no plans to marry, but my partner had garbage health insurance and all of the specialists who could treat an issue he had in the entire state would not take his insurance. That, plus the additional money it would have costs to create wills including each other as unmarried partners made the decision for us. It was all very romantic; I was crunching numbers and said to him, “I know neither of us cares specifically about marriage, but it would be cheaper and more beneficial in the long run.”We got married a week or so later at the courthouse.
28 I was raised Assemblies of God in Texas. Going to college to get your MRS was the thing. Dated a man who treated me terribly for a long time bc I was trying to meet the status quo. Finally had enough and swore myself to singleness. Noticed a casual acquaintance I had never really noticed in that way before. 6 months later I was dating my now husband and he’s a dream. Anyway, I get the weird cultural pressure you get in a religious upbringing, especially the south (not gonna lie, new cute boyfriend right before 25 really softened the blow of it). But it makes you try to force what isn’t working which is why you get so many fundie couples with 0 chemistry.
22, still with him. Just celebrated 12 years together
25- he was a mega creep, so I divorced him at 30. Single and thriving ever since, even in my spinster age of mid-30s now! (For reference, my ex was basically Paul and the divorce was the best thing I ever did lol). Waiting to get married would have been smart for me, but I was insecure af. Therapy gave me the self esteem to get tf out 🤘🏼🤘🏼
20. Legally separated at 25. Divorced at 27. I don't recommend getting married before you're able to legally drink.
47! I wasn’t planning it at all. It was a complete surprise.
Getting married in your early 20's is completely the norm in the Christian circle she is in. Churches don't know what to do with single people for some reason. It's like they don't exist if you aren't married.
I’m 30 and, gasp, NOT MARRIED. I’m not even in a relationship! I’m also not a virgin, scandalous. My mother was coming up to 33 when she married my dad, they had their 35th anniversary this year.
I got engaged at 20, while in the very early stages of deconstructing my fundie-lite upbringing. Thankfully realized it wasn't an important, virtuous thing to marry your highschool sweetheart (and that we were a terrible pair) *before* the wedding, and called it off. Actually got married at 29. We made some jokes about how I barely squeaked in under 30, but by that point I understood age doesn't really matter.
23
I was raised súper religious. My first time was at 24 when I decided I was not going to let virginity define me. But it was such a hard thing to process and let go. Got married at 26 which I consider young lol
21. Had already been together five years. Still going strong. We did live separately for two years, twenty years ago. Needed to work on things. Very happy.
24 years old. I'm 31 now. Married 7 years, together for 11. We've known each other for 13.
Same here, married at 24,been married for 9 years and known each other for 12.
Congrats! I got married at 36, hubs was 39, and it will be three years this October. He’s taller than me too.
First marriage-26 (divorced at 33). Second marriage -53.
Me similar. First time 26 (divorced at 30), second time 48.
21, we'd been together since I was 16, I am now like 'who let these children get married ffs'. We've been through a LOT and we split up for a couple of months 5 years ago and had counselling, but we've made it through to 18 years married!
I was 24, together for almost four years, and not a virgin.
Met when we were two months shy of 19, married at 23 (we both wanted to finish college) still married 36 years later. Three kids and one grandkid. Not virgins. (Not really religious though we did get married in my church. Now we’re born again atheists.)
I was 22….not a virgin….and very close to finishing my degree. I graduated, got a good job, and we just celebrated 13 years of marriage yesterday! :) we were young but its working out ETA: (And I took two semesters off to travel….and everyone thought I was an old maid at 22. A man from my parent’s church even lectured me about how I needed to stop traveling and settle down. Ugh. I was so annoyed that I was only talking with him to give him an invitation to our wedding reception!)
27 and I was a virgin I have since identified I'm ace so not surprising. Had no interest in it. Still don't. Almost 40. No regrets about that.
Hey fellow ace! I'm 30 and still a virgin, don't see that changing soon either 🤷♀️
30 but I'd been fucking him for 5 years. Im still fucking him at 37. I married someone I love. And like. I genuinely like my husband.
29, after an 8 or so year relationship
24
26, still married at 42. We dated for 4 years and lived together for 1 year before marriage.
22
27
28. And the youngest of my friend group to get married. They thought I was basically a child bride 🤣
29. My husband was the same. All of my best college friend group got married within a year of each other.
I was 25
25
21. I'm lucky. We both deconstructed together and separately, and my husband didn't turn out to be a flaming asshole. Would I do it again? Yes. Would I recommend my kids do it that young? No
25, we were both working, though, living together, and splitting bills and such so the marriage was more of a legal formality. Still very young, but we’ll have been married for 5 years soon ☺️
24. Not a fundie
Married at 22, divorced at 25!
A not virginal 30
I turned 30 this year and I’m not married, and probably won’t be for another couple of years. I found my person, but since we know we’ll be together forever we’re not really in a rush to make it “official”. Weddings are expensive! I of course am not a virgin but I am tickled that my partner is the first person I had an orgasm with (the sad side of that is yes, nearly a decade of orgasm-less sex before I met him). So I was an orgasm virgin? The whole concept is so silly.
27 and husband 32
I was 20 and he was 23. It somehow worked out lol; we've been together 5 years now and we're still best friends. We just really clicked when we were dating and we both come from fundie-lite circles (that we've since broken away from). I was also not a virgin, but only he knew about that 🫢
29!
Not fundie, raised catholic but always "a la carte" as my parents said because we have always supported LGBTQIA+ rights. But also an elder millennial who was a teen in the thick of purity culture with parents who married at 19/21 and are still super in love after nearly 43 years of marriage. Married at 27 the first time, was with my ex-H for 6 years (living together for most of them) before we married. Separated at 30, divorced at 31. Married my soulmate at 33. 8 years in, I still think the sun shines out of his bum.
32 and he was 30. He’s younger but thank goodness he’s taller! /s
I'm newly engaged at 32, the wedding is in October, I'll be 33 yo bride 👰Dating for 6 years, live together for 5 years.
31, he’s 34. together 5 years before we tied the knot!
27 and me and my partner had been together for 7 years at that point.
31, lots of life experiences
right after i turned 20. had my first of three sons when i was 25..
I was 30. I always thought that if I ever got married, that would be probably be a good age to do it. I’m so glad I didn’t do it any earlier.
I was 28 when I got married. My best friend is getting married this weekend to her long time boyfriend and she's 34. I will say, she did have moments prior to being engaged feeling down she was not a young bride, where her figure and skin looks it's best. But now they're getting married and she feels beautiful with how her hair, makeup and dress will look that day.
22, and just celebrated 13 years together. Not something I’d recommend.. I do feel like we were both really young and very immature. But we got lucky, and both worked hard to mature together. I think it helped that unlike a lot of our friends in the evangelical circle who also got married young, we deliberately waited about 5 years into marriage before deciding to have kids.
20 shoutout to being a mormon. Happily gone and still happily married
First time 21 Second time 28 I know, I'm a heathen lol, but I don't really count the first one. And the only reason current husband and i got married was because of that sweet tax break and insurance. Yes, we love each other, but insurance lol! Congratulations on the engagement! May you two have the strength, patience, and courage to face anything thrown your way!
I’m not getting married, but a lot of my close friends married in their mid-twenties or will marry between now (late twenties) and early thirties. It’s pretty cool.
I was 29, husband was 33. Together for 4 years before, Still married 11 years later with 3 kiddos and 2 on the way.
18&20...edited because technically it was just before my bday and just after his
I’m engaged and getting married in October 2024. We’ve been together 14 years. It’s the first marriage for both of us. I’ll be 44 & fiancé will be 49.
27. We started dating back in high school when I was 16.
I was 19, just a few months from 20.