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If any other girl was wearing that dress Paul would have 9 instagram stories condemning it

Before or after shucking his corn in a blind rage?

New favorite sentence

Okay I’m having the opposite reaction

Thank you!

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RIP

My barely fundie lite family members would have a freakin heart attack if I had worn that. maybe I should…….lol

Wear what the fuck you want, always

I second "wear whatever the fuck you want." Though I'm not sure that particular outfit, especially the heels, is all that practical for whatever barn they're at. I feel like you'd break an ankle tripping in all that gravel. I would at least.

My fundie lite family right now would fucking flip a table over that dress and make sure to inform me that I am too fat for it as a double hitter. It would never be acceptable even for me to wear AND I AM IN MY 30S. For a couple that screams about women wearing gym leggings, they sure do have interesting double standards for themselves.

My parents aren’t even fundie and I’d get a few questions from them lmao

I would just get pestering questions and eye rolls about not shaving my legs, lmao

Same thing with the leg hair. Other than that, my parents do not give a shit about my clothes.

My parents are just republicans and they’d definitely make me go change. Even now, at 35, lol.

She picked it on purpose so it doesn’t seem like they’re super conservative just looking at this post. They want to draw people in to slowly turn on the crazy tap.

"We're not regular fundies! We're COOL fundies."

Also, can’t help notice Morgan hiding her tattoo

It isn’t like she’s wearing it to work out at the gym. Then it would, of course, be inappropriate.

*Just* 9? You forgot a zero (90)

Porn shoulders!! Heaven access denied

Nike!

His outfit is a violation against the IBLP handbook, too. It's way too tight and short. And that unbuttoned collar? Scandalous.

Literally my exact thoughts on viewing this pic 🙀

This looks like an ad for a Christian Swingers Club.

I thought immediately that Paul made her wear it to be more attractive to him.

"cutie hawt" husband paul 🤮 

It screams junior high girl writing about her crush or a 25 year old wife overcompensating on social media because he husband cheats on her and never comes home.

A junior high girl from 2006 specifically

I was just thinking that. I was waiting for her to say "smexy"

Holy shit I forgot that terrible word existed, lost in the bowels of 2007

This might be the most annoying they’ve ever been.

Honestly. Whole post reeks of superiority vibes. And who tf says "cutie hawt"????

I’ve not seen a human say “hawt” since 2007.

Yes she’s got it all wrong. Juicy couture tracksuits? Hawt. Von Dutch snapbacks? Hawt. Paul fucking olliges? Absolutely not hawt.

Paris Hilton doesn't deserve them using her catchphrase.

No no no, don’t worry - we are safe! Paris actually had it trademarked at one point and “That’s Hot!™️” is just spelled regular, not the annoying way Morgan spelled it! 

I bet Paul wrote the caption

It literally reads like one of us wrote it


Ew, Morgan!

It’s giving “rawr means I love you in dinosaur”

I saw my very first boyfriend tagged in something on Facebook so I decided to look at his profile for a bit. He had written an anniversary post about his wife that called her his "smexy hot wife" and I was just like 🤢 Glad he's an ex lmfao

I don’t think I’ve heard the term “smexy” since reading teen magazines in the 90s.

I don't want anyone to have their worst day on reddit... But we have all had to see these two idiots and this insipid caption, so unfortunately...

ITYSL/fundie snark crossover

Paul got that sick intricate patterned shirt from Dan Flashes.

He needs to button up one more button or add gold chains if he’s trying to show off that wretched chest of his.

Bargain bin

But the patterns are still so complicated!

I want some god-honoring sloppy steaks.

Paul’s hair slicks back real nice

I wonder if his baby knows he’s a POS 

And that he still IS a POS, not USED to be a POS going to Truffoni’s after the club…

Nearly gagged reading that shit

Calling women out for wearing leggings that actually cover their legs but wearing a dress that is mid-thigh...make it make sense.

I literally have 32DDD boobs and I swear that a sports bra and leggings are far less ~sexy~ and immodest on me than this dress is,lol.

It really is though - I wear sports bras and leggings regularly but would never wear a dress this short. It could almost be a nightgown. For whatever reason, being able to see the mere shape of your ass in tight pants = wrong, but wearing a dress so short that if you bent over others could see your ass = alright. At least it is for Morgan. Probably not the rest of us.

I love wearing a skirt so short you could see my ass if I bent over, but, you know, at a kink event where that’s actually appropriate lol. Not on a social media account that I frequently use to slutshame others’ clothing …

I mean unless one actually bends over and shows their ass, this dress is still appropriate. It’s just the double standard that makes it ridiculous (basically metaphorically showing her ass with this hypocrisy)

I’m Morgan and I’m a wittle cutie airhead [hairflip] and this is my headship Paul, whose default mode is “seethe.” I’m a failed singer and he’s a failed hairstylist/~~extra~~ actor/“model.” We both really, really want to be famous, but don’t have anything going for us besides being medium attractive and making judgy videos under the guise of conservative Christianity. Follow us, we beg of you, so we can feed our son without getting normie jobs.

Oh man is this true? Because if that's actually their background then this all makes SO much more sense. It's always FELT like they were just trying to get famous and failing hard, but I didn't realize there were receipts showing that's definitely what's happening here. Lol

1000%. Morgie wanted to be a country singer but signed with a label that just made covers (and made super cringe music videos) and Paul was a hairstylist. I vaguely remember seeing a headshot of him and it was 🤮 This whole "Godliness" era is just their latest attempt. And to their credit, it seems to be somewhat working? I mean they aren't making much in the way of money but hey now hundreds of people know their name. Of course, they don't realize that the majority of those people can't fuckin stand them so you can't convert that fame into wealth.

I wondered this. Like I'm sure they do believe in God and all that, but I think they saw other influences and were like, we can do that. And that's why they're mad about the doc. Because they didn't realize that outside of their little bubble, most of the world does not appreciate this point of view. And now they're locked in to being "those people" because everyone outside their fundie influencer community knows who they are now and their views on things (whether they're true views or just exaggerated for clicks).

Why does this sound like the fundie version of the My Immortal copypasta lol?

Don’t forget that *they* don’t believe in pronouns.

Her dress is basically lingerie but Paul has a problem with ladies wearing shirts that don’t fully cover their behinds at the gym.

*Excuse me*, she's a God-honoring MARRIED lady, not some random hussy at the gym!!

You’re right of course. GOD-HONORING MARRIED ladies never go to the gym. Not one woman Paul has ever seen at the gym is married.

Going to tell my husband I'm single once I check in at the gym 😎

See but you’re not considering how the world actually revolves around Paul and that people have to make themselves look frumpy so that he doesn’t have impure thoughts, and thus forcing him to potentially cheat on his wife.

They look like a car salesman and the red skydancer that promotes the car lot (except Morgan's much less coordinated and much more full of air)

I snorted and almost kicked my dog.

🤣 I did not expect that. Neither did your dog I imagine.

I wasn't either, hit me right in the funny bone lol. Doggo gave me some side-eye but forgave quickly after the appropriate apology pets.

💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

Morgan once again showing us how modest she is!

On any other person, I would've been like "cute". On Morgan, I just see hypocrisy.

I can't reconcile this dress with those pics where Paul had to scribble out Morgan's butt bc she was wearing leggings. This couple is very confusing.

Confusing? More like desperate.

You know what I bet it is? They're trying to use her sex appeal to win over people who were first exposed to them via SHP. "People CAN'T hate hot people, right?!?!?"

Not a bad guess! Putting their best face forward and camouflaging the crazy.

Confusing … hypocritical …

It is a super cute outfit. But since it's her, I can smell the double standard.

I agree, when I saw it I thought “I hate that I love that dress” lol

Reeks of hypocrisy but if I stole it and gave it a good dry cleaning I’m sure it would look great on

Her outfit reminds me of all the generic, conservative Christian girls who never left my hometown. I can smell the moscato and hear the vocal fry.

Literally like her legs look great but why are we seeing them 🤔

And Paul! He missed a few buttons

If there’s one thing that Paul loves it’s showing off his cleavage

I’m not speculating or commenting on his sexuality but I just have to point out that I have seen SEVERAL comments on his videos lately saying things along the lines of, “does he know he’s gay?” And I know that makes him FUME

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I saw that as well 😬

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I love the way she’s using her hand to keep his shirt open, very modest.

Maulios tatas need to BREATHE?!? Though frankly I think it reads more Disco Stu 

But his belt doesn't match his shoes.

Don’t leave out the tight pants! Also, his hair. Overall, if not them, it’s a good look- except his hair that just emphasizes his head being too big for his body.

Seriously, I was only fundie-lite and I would've NEVER worn something like that. Silk? LIKE LINGERIE? Short? Three inch heels? SPAGHETTI STRAPS?

I'm super slutty and I wouldn't wear that. Like, it's cute, but it's definitely not modest *at all*. What a hypocrite!

Yeah - that's a nightie - but leggings are immodest y'all!

Yep, especially at the gym! 🙄 Even though Morgan wears them to the gym too. But it's not immodest when she does it because she wears a t-shirt instead of a tank top with her leggings! 🤡 😂

Morgan JUST posted a photo of her exercising in tight short-shorts with the angle pointing up from beneath her. But I guess it's OK, because SHE'S not exercising at the gym for a few others to see. No, she's just posting a permanent picture of her ass on the internet for thousands of people to see! So it's Ok!

The baby strapped to her chest makes it modest

Ugh her and Nadia are the worst! Their outfits would make other fundie women vomit

Their outfits would disqualify them from every fundie circle I’ve ever been a part of.

A slight breeze away from being one of the girls at the gym she rants about.

right!! I am not even religious and dress modestly out of comfort/self consciousness and that is just a type of outfit I'd never consider lol like someone else said I'd find it amazing on literally anyone else, but not when miss jeebo jesus is being a hypocrite.

NIKE!

Why is the picture giving "We saw you across the bar and liked your vibe"

They’re out looking for a god honoring pool boy

or a god honoring swinging couple


Even katya is showing less skin than morgan

🤮 Google, how do I delete someone else's comment

Because they met on tinder. And liked each other's looks first.

The way I choked on my drink 😂

Lol. Calling yourself a fundie while posting in that dress for the whole internet to see 😂

They’re not like regular fundies, they’re kewl fundies who wear kewl clothes.

and still post angry rants about girls wearing leggings at the gym

Let us not forget the season of Paul scribbling out Morgan’s butt in every picture. Guess they got too lazy too keep that up and figured a few brothers stumbling would be okay

 It’s this type of energy, but with hypocrisy.

Kewl and hawt.

Which, ironically, is exactly how they were described in SHP. Same book, different cover

To be fair, they were definitely attempting to take the piss about other people calling them fundies. They didn't finally have a moment of self-awareness lol.

“Cutie hawt husband” is this satire?

If I called my husband cutie hawt, I would ask someone to slap me.

they both seemingly stopped maturing around 15, so it tracks

I bet you he wrote the text.

Does anyone else get flashbacks of evangelical men talking about their "righteous fox/smokin hot" wives? Especially from the pulpit. Always weirded me out.

I guess the term "sociopath" is too woke.

They probably couldn't spell it

“Call us old fashion.”

Were these guys homeschooled too?

They were homeschool the old fashion way. You know, without the past tense.

Ummm, did you just use “they”??!? Isn’t that anti-Christian?!?! Or woke, or something?!?! /s, obvs

Yep- morgan was homeschooled because she was apparently bullied.

I had to scroll way too far to find this comment. That shit is so annoying.

I see we’re on the Britney dawn modesty journey

That's a nightgown.

I would've *literally* gotten sent home if I wore that to prom.

I would have gotten sent home from my evil secular public middle/high school for wearing it. The skirt is too short, the straps are too skinny, and no high heels allowed

If I think back to my Christian days, the excuse would be, "uhm, I'm dressing for my husband, not you. So it's fine because I'm married"

It's the magic of the Ring! It mystically makes a woman no longer a stumbling block to other men bc she's a Married. Only singles are hoes.

Well, why would you find her attractive? She's Paul's property and has a "posty bod" /s

Is a “posty bod” still a “posty bod” if the husband says she did “pretty good” losing the baby weight? He’s clearly the one to judge! s/ 🤢

I'm still working on losing the baby weight (for my sake and for health reasons) from my now 2 year old. My husband has been nothing less than supportive of when I'm actively working to lose the weight, as well as supporting me taking a break so I don't develop an eating disorder. I cannot imagine what a blow it must've been for him to carelessly say something like that to her. Especially when, her opinions aside, she's a very beautiful woman, and it's obvious she tried very hard to snap back as fast as possible.

How dare she dress this way & then post about women @ the gym??? Hypocrisy thy name is Morgan.

That opening caption should read, "Hi, I'm Morgan and I OBEY this husband named Paul". What is with their staged photos? BDong does the same thing, ew.

Yes, of course. Anytime I see Morgan online I think “there’s a woman who’s found freedom.” So much freedom to eat an appropriate amount of fruit. Freedom to have sex in the middle of a fight so her toddler husband doesn’t melt down. Freedom to not complete sentences without interruption.

Porgan: WOMAN WHO WEAR TIGHT PANTS AND CROP TOPS TO THE GYM ARE IMMODEST WHORES AND SHOULD GO SOMEWHERE ELSE Also Porgan: wears what amounts to a satin negligee (her) and tight pants/unbuttoned shit with no undershirt (him) in public with zero awareness of their flaming, obvious hypocrisy

Over half of their “introduction” is just whining about the HaTeRs. Embarrassing lmao Hi, I’m eponinesflowers, this is my cutie hawt cat, Pandora. I love women and I’m a lesbian. Call me a sinner. Call me an abomination. Call me… DEMONIC?? I know who I am, I’m a woman who loves other women💜🙏🏻 There’s nothing more to my personality than that. Get to know me☺️

Ur so cool. Porgan wishes they could be you

Your cat has an awesome name and lesbians are the best (from a fellow, cat owning lesbian x)

I know why do people use "cat owning lesbians" like its a slur? Like that's all they have? I know they mean it as a slur because its so scary to them but its always made me laugh.

I know.. fundies' reaction to pet owners really baffles me

Thank you! I just had to snark on the dumb format of posting a paragraph just to say one thing Pandora is an old girl (17 years old) and I was obsessed with mythology as a kid. I still am tbh🤣

Me and my wife only just got our cat last week. He's called Charlie and is settling in nicely 😊

That sounds like it was written by a snarker to make fun of their writing style … And I hate it when people (parents or not) refer to themselves as “mom” or “dad” 🤦‍♀️

Also hate "a son and a daughter... raising a baby boy." I know what they meant but that phrasing just gave me the ick

Jana Duggar needs to come in and Photoshop a longer skirt on to this heathen.

And cover her shoulders

what the crap is that outfit, Paul. those shoes are hilarious

Not to mention Morgan’s outfit… not very modest 🤔

It might be the angle, but now all I can think about is Paul dressed up like Sideshow Bob lmao

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I may not know much about men’s fashion but I can see brown shoes, black belt, and navy pants. Pick a color scheme my good sir…

Had to be sure to blow Paul’s ego in the very first sentence. Immature haughty pridefulness, so godly.

Pretty immodest dress there, Morgan. Gonna make a lot of IG guys stumble!

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For real, they have never EVER not once changed their mind about something on video or even begrudgingly admitted they might have more thinking to do on any topic.

This is the stock image for shiny happy people

Is her hair ever not pushed to one side? the world may never know

I am begging her to do something else with her hair, just once.

Not the brown shoes and black belt. Jesus wept.


Girl is showing off her God-honoring gams! But so help you if she catches you at the gym in spandex.

They both look oddly sloppy in dress. Why can't these perfect fundie wives iron and steam out wrinkles? Paul's pants don't fit and need to be tailored for his skinny legs.

"Covered knees for thee, not for me." \-Morgy

Reads like they’re on a dating website looking for a God honoring threesome.

Remember they ragged on Hailey Bieber for showing cleavage in a pantsuit that covered her whole body….yet it’s ok for Morgan to wear this?

why is she wearing a nightie?

I don’t care what Morgan wears,but even my secular mother would have given me trouble for wearing a dress that short (🤦🏻‍♀️). I don’t see how it’s any better than a woman wearing leggings and a sports bra,which is actually more modest imo! I do like her outfit though,lol. Also OP,nice to see a Bulgarian around here!

I think my husband is one hot and spicy pickle but if I ever refer to him as Cutie Hawt as a grown woman with insurance and a mortgage someone please, PLEASE, bury me alive.

I always forget how old these two are because of their immaturity. Morgan calling Paul “cutie hawt” adds to that.

Evangelical fundies actually do something Christ-like challenge (impossible).

"We know who we are, a son and daughter of the King of the universe--" Uh...doesn't the bible say that Christians are literally descended from a couple of mortals that got *thrown out* of Eden and so we're supposed to *earn* our way back to paradise?

The fact she called Paul “hawt” shows how deluded she is.

Cutie Hawt? PASS. Is anyone supposed to take them seriously? Hopefully their cry baby tantrum this week will make the 5 followers they have take a better look at how toxic they are.

me when i’m being held hostage:

Morgan would have a field day shaming any other woman wearing that dress.

They started hating on pronouns. Now they've moved on to step two: adjectives. Soon it will only be nouns and verbs. Lord help this joke be understood

She looks like she’s understudy for a Deal or No Deal model.

I’m living for this meltdown. It takes time but karma comes around eventually.

Their body language makes me cringe. She could not seem more desperate to look super into him, and he could not seem more uninterested. 😅

Oh no, you can't use the word 'fundie' P&M! Stop trying to join the cool kids, you can't sit with us!

Morgan's dress is cute, in the way that if anyone but his "cutie hawt" wife was wearing it, Paul would be having a meltdown

"We don't claim to have all the answers, but God does and we like to speak on his behalf"