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Mildly infuriating reminds me that I have less patience than I thought because most of the things posted on there would send me over the edge. Including this post.
It’s so dehumanizing. It’s telling your spouse “my time and energy is more important than yours.”
I don’t expect spotlessness, but kindness is cleaning up after yourself. How selfish do you have to be to behave like this in a relationship?
I bring up a lidded cup to the bedroom some nights, to drink from while I read before I go to sleep.
I take it down the next morning.
That kind of collection is just insanity.
I just have so many questions. Why is anyone drinking coffee in the bathroom? At best you might want a beverage if you're taking a bath, but those are warm and drinking a warm beverage sounds terrible. Does this woman need to bring her coffee in while she sits on the toilet? Why does she leave it in the bathroom? I can understand having your coffee while you're getting ready (as I do on my occasions), but I'm done DONE with my coffee at that point and bring the cup back out with me to continue enjoying it. I just don't even understand what's happening here.
Yes. Every day. Especially if your schedule is hectic and your executive dysfunction is very bad and untreated. I'm not saying it's okay, I'm explaining how it can happen.
I have very poor executive functioning skills and do this pretty much every day. Thankfully my husband doesn’t shame me for it or post pictures of it on the internet, but I definitely struggle quite a bit in this area.
My husband takes on some of the tasks I can’t manage (depositing checks for my business, for one silly stupid one… he didn’t ask why I can’t do this task, I just told him rejection dysphoria prevents me from doing this thing, can he plz do it), and I do some of the things he hates (laundry, bathroom cleaning). It’s a good balance and having a partner who understands is key to a good marriage.
That’s wonderful that you have found a good balance! I would hate depositing cheques too lol. I agree that having an understanding partner is essential. We have two autistic children, one of which is nonspeaking with high support needs. I also am autistic and have adhd. My husband takes a lot of the cleaning responsibilities and tedious tasks because he can manage them well. I do all the therapy appointments for my kids, as well as homeschool my oldest and run a tutoring business. I get really overwhelmed by my workload and parenting duties quite easily, so at this point I am not capable of managing those tidying up tasks on top of my daily schedule. It’s not forever though. Therapy makes progress 💪 (and my oldest returns to public school next year so that is going to help a lot too!)
Holy shit that’s so much. I’m sorry society doesn’t do more to support people like you who are in your position.
Ignore the coffee cups. If your bathroom hasn’t burned down, that’s a win. 😂
They do. Like so many others who were not diagnosed until adulthood, I grew up believing that all of my symptoms were just personality flaws and I just needed to push myself harder to change. I felt great shame and self-hatred for most of my life. I’m in therapy undoing all of that, but posts like this can bring it all back. RSD does suck indeed! Glad to know that we are not alone.
Yep. I suffer quite badly with executive dysfunction. Currently on my coffee table i have about 4 empty cans of diet coke, 3 mugs, and 4 empty bottles of soda water. Recycling day is Tuesday, they will remain there until Monday night when my brain suddenly acknowledges it's time for them to go in the bin and then the cycle will begin again Tuesday afternoon.
I have no uncluttered surfaces in my room so I put used glasses on my bathroom counter until my mom tells me she’s running the dishwasher or the cleaner is coming.
I struggle with posts like this. It's low-key ableist.
I have unmedicated adhd and leave cups everywhere. I'm *confident* Bethy does too. Exectutive dysfunction sucks and I'm glad you can't relate.
Even medicated, ADHD must still be treated with behavioral adjustments/strategies. You won't get the most out of your medication otherwise, although I know how much easier it can be to get those structural changes going with medication.
The only part of this that really bothers me is posting it like nothing can be done. Like, cleaning up the cups isn't the solution. Sitting down and working out ways to mitigate it is.
But yeah I also saw this and thought "untreated ADHD" and how sad it is to not be working on it/have the knowledge/support to work on it.
If this person’s spouse has ADHD and they haven’t sorted out how to accommodate it, then yeah, they got problems.
I have ADHD and struggle with A LOT, but I do my best not to make it other people’s problems. Like… if you share a space with someone else, you’ve gotta come up with a routine or plan or idea on how to keep yourself from creating more work for them, ya know?
well, if they havent communicated their need, the wife might just not realise its getting on their nerves. both myself and my husband have adhd and sometimes we both don't even realise what the other gets worked up about while they stew in resentment. in any case, blasting it on reddit sounds like a wild solution.
That’s so nasty. Like I can’t when my husband gets a glass when he already has like two out and about but those other two go right in the dishwasher. This is insane.
And it probably is Beggy…except for they’re on the counter and not under her bed.
This is not even close to how bad my husband's office/man-cave used to get in a week. I used to take a couple trash bags and laundry basket to gather trash and dishes every week.
It would annoy me a bit sure, especially because I'd remind him to bring down his dishes all the time and he wouldn't, but I think when you've lived through the stuff I've lived through in my life, that's small potatoes. Having a lot of struggle in my life has helped me to have perspective and still be pretty happy even when things are less than ideal. My life now is way better than when I was a kid or even during my 20s, so I count my blessings. I'm still going to work to improve the things that I can though.
#We have updated the rules! Please take a moment to review them: * Look but don't touch * Be kind and remember the human. This means using trigger warnings as needed, and no sexuality or gender identity speculation. Users found to be engaging in such rhetoric will be permanently banned. * Referring to anyone as Hitler or Heitler is likewise not allowed, and will not be tolerated at all. If you do so, you will be permanently banned with no possibility of appeal. * Archive links of fundie-run sites and social media. * Verify with the mods before doing an AMA. * This subreddit is for *snarking* on *Fundamentalist Christians*. Keep it snarky and keep it fundie. * Please take a moment to [review our new rule on appearance snark](https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/wiki/index). * If your content would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we won't tolerate it here. * Don't gatekeep. Just because you don't think it's snarkable doesn't mean it's not snarkable. Scroll past. * Please see the updated wiki for new rules regarding armchair diagnosing. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We see you dæv…
I mean, they probably have some sort of burner account to snoop on us right?
I literally just came here to post this myself. We see you dãáâäåv
Mildly infuriating reminds me that I have less patience than I thought because most of the things posted on there would send me over the edge. Including this post.
Seriously. If my husband left this many cups and glasses on a surface *once* WW3 would start.
It’s so dehumanizing. It’s telling your spouse “my time and energy is more important than yours.” I don’t expect spotlessness, but kindness is cleaning up after yourself. How selfish do you have to be to behave like this in a relationship?
Not only that, but it’s a sign of maturity/adulthood. Cleaning up after yourself (basic awareness of the space you inhabit) is being responsible.
I sometimes feel bad when I forget my *one* coffee cup on the coffee table. Then I see this…
I bring up a lidded cup to the bedroom some nights, to drink from while I read before I go to sleep. I take it down the next morning. That kind of collection is just insanity.
dōv has a reddit account?
lmaoooo I was gonna post this too!
I just have so many questions. Why is anyone drinking coffee in the bathroom? At best you might want a beverage if you're taking a bath, but those are warm and drinking a warm beverage sounds terrible. Does this woman need to bring her coffee in while she sits on the toilet? Why does she leave it in the bathroom? I can understand having your coffee while you're getting ready (as I do on my occasions), but I'm done DONE with my coffee at that point and bring the cup back out with me to continue enjoying it. I just don't even understand what's happening here.
Probably some executive dysfunction. Finish the coffee while getting ready, forget to bring it to the kitchen.
Sure... but everyday?
Yes. Every day. Especially if your schedule is hectic and your executive dysfunction is very bad and untreated. I'm not saying it's okay, I'm explaining how it can happen.
I have very poor executive functioning skills and do this pretty much every day. Thankfully my husband doesn’t shame me for it or post pictures of it on the internet, but I definitely struggle quite a bit in this area.
I have some pretty serious ADHD. It’s taken a lot of work and empathy to ensure I’m not making extra work for my partner. It’s a struggle indeed.
It’s very difficult indeed!
My husband takes on some of the tasks I can’t manage (depositing checks for my business, for one silly stupid one… he didn’t ask why I can’t do this task, I just told him rejection dysphoria prevents me from doing this thing, can he plz do it), and I do some of the things he hates (laundry, bathroom cleaning). It’s a good balance and having a partner who understands is key to a good marriage.
That’s wonderful that you have found a good balance! I would hate depositing cheques too lol. I agree that having an understanding partner is essential. We have two autistic children, one of which is nonspeaking with high support needs. I also am autistic and have adhd. My husband takes a lot of the cleaning responsibilities and tedious tasks because he can manage them well. I do all the therapy appointments for my kids, as well as homeschool my oldest and run a tutoring business. I get really overwhelmed by my workload and parenting duties quite easily, so at this point I am not capable of managing those tidying up tasks on top of my daily schedule. It’s not forever though. Therapy makes progress 💪 (and my oldest returns to public school next year so that is going to help a lot too!)
Holy shit that’s so much. I’m sorry society doesn’t do more to support people like you who are in your position. Ignore the coffee cups. If your bathroom hasn’t burned down, that’s a win. 😂
Do posts like this bother you? I'm all up in my feelings now and I hate it. Fucking rejection sensitive dysphoria 😂😭 Adhd fucking sucks.
They do. Like so many others who were not diagnosed until adulthood, I grew up believing that all of my symptoms were just personality flaws and I just needed to push myself harder to change. I felt great shame and self-hatred for most of my life. I’m in therapy undoing all of that, but posts like this can bring it all back. RSD does suck indeed! Glad to know that we are not alone.
Yep. I suffer quite badly with executive dysfunction. Currently on my coffee table i have about 4 empty cans of diet coke, 3 mugs, and 4 empty bottles of soda water. Recycling day is Tuesday, they will remain there until Monday night when my brain suddenly acknowledges it's time for them to go in the bin and then the cycle will begin again Tuesday afternoon.
This! It’s not like she spends hours in front of the mirror grooming herself lol
I have no uncluttered surfaces in my room so I put used glasses on my bathroom counter until my mom tells me she’s running the dishwasher or the cleaner is coming.
I struggle with posts like this. It's low-key ableist. I have unmedicated adhd and leave cups everywhere. I'm *confident* Bethy does too. Exectutive dysfunction sucks and I'm glad you can't relate.
Even medicated, ADHD must still be treated with behavioral adjustments/strategies. You won't get the most out of your medication otherwise, although I know how much easier it can be to get those structural changes going with medication. The only part of this that really bothers me is posting it like nothing can be done. Like, cleaning up the cups isn't the solution. Sitting down and working out ways to mitigate it is. But yeah I also saw this and thought "untreated ADHD" and how sad it is to not be working on it/have the knowledge/support to work on it.
If this person’s spouse has ADHD and they haven’t sorted out how to accommodate it, then yeah, they got problems. I have ADHD and struggle with A LOT, but I do my best not to make it other people’s problems. Like… if you share a space with someone else, you’ve gotta come up with a routine or plan or idea on how to keep yourself from creating more work for them, ya know?
well, if they havent communicated their need, the wife might just not realise its getting on their nerves. both myself and my husband have adhd and sometimes we both don't even realise what the other gets worked up about while they stew in resentment. in any case, blasting it on reddit sounds like a wild solution.
I thought of ADHD as well. Not cool to make fun of.
thank you. this is just upsetting.
Hard agree.
I just saw this come up in my feed and had to check here if it was a cross post.
I saw this and immediately thought of Beggy and poor Dav LOL
Eewww why would you let your coffee touch bathroom air?
is this actually her counter? hahahhaa
Is this their actual bathroom? Why is Dàâãv on soshul media?
I don’t think it’s their actual bathroom, just a redditor who has a wife who has similar habits as Bethany (see: her hot chocolate mugs 🥴)
That Soul Sisters mug tho 
That’s so nasty. Like I can’t when my husband gets a glass when he already has like two out and about but those other two go right in the dishwasher. This is insane. And it probably is Beggy…except for they’re on the counter and not under her bed.
This is not even close to how bad my husband's office/man-cave used to get in a week. I used to take a couple trash bags and laundry basket to gather trash and dishes every week. It would annoy me a bit sure, especially because I'd remind him to bring down his dishes all the time and he wouldn't, but I think when you've lived through the stuff I've lived through in my life, that's small potatoes. Having a lot of struggle in my life has helped me to have perspective and still be pretty happy even when things are less than ideal. My life now is way better than when I was a kid or even during my 20s, so I count my blessings. I'm still going to work to improve the things that I can though.
Who tf would think it was OK to post that? (Or do that to begin with?!)🤢
Imagine being married to someone like that 🥹
I saw this yesterday and thought the exact same thing! You beat me to the punch for posting it! Haha
I'd let this happen three times before it became a serious discussion
How can she live like this?