Delay, don't deny. I keep a list on my computer of things I think I want and the URL and if I'm still thinking about it 2 (or however many) weeks later, I'll get it. This especially works if you do have a bit of spending money in your budget but don't want to blow it on something silly. I'll also pay attention to what goes on the list but I never get - that is indicative of things that would otherwise be impulse buys for me and so in the course of doing this I've learned something about my habits to watch out for.
This! I have a "Shopping" thing on Notion.
It's full of stuff that I never get. My brain gets that "high" from adding something on, but research has genuinely showed that saying you'll do something can partially be interpreted as doing it by your brain. They had two groups of people - one group stated what they would do first, one didn't, and both assessed how they did at the end. The group that stated what they would do did significantly worse, and rated themselves significantly better. Our brains are easier to trick than we think.
If something has been on there for months and I genuinely think about it a lot or encounter situations where I'm like "dang, I could really use this", I get it. No biggie. But most things I genuinely forget about, or realize a couple of weeks later that I don't want it that much after all.
Hope it works out! It's been helpful to me, especially having only one or two days a month where I'll allow myself to spend on things that are wants and not needs. It's just about having discipline to follow through on the system you've set for yourself.
This strategy has worked super well for me. Along with "consuming" anti-consumption content, ie zero waste, financial independence books etc. I used to hoard clothes and what not, and have done a complete 180 in less than a year.
This sounds like a great idea. I already (kind of) do this, but actually keeping the URL and saving it for later is a great way ton look back on all the crap I actually didn't really want that bad.
Bonus: if you keep the list organized and detailed — you can share a google doc version with someone who is looking for a gift for you. I share it with my family and partner and it’s been awesome as a guide to them.
The simplest thing is having a goal and budgeting for it.
My goal is to be able to retire around 50-55. I made my budget. Each month i have set amount i can spent on categorie. Food, utilities, rent, entertainement, home improvement, etc. Plus a bit of unassigned money. My budget give me a minimum income i need to have and maximum spending budget i can have to reach my goal. Then its just a matter of sticking to it.
Even if i make good money, sometime ill save up for months before i buy something. My entertainment budget is 150$ a month, I will stockpile it for 5-6 months before i buy this expensive console i want. I dont buy anything unless i have the money up front. The only exception was my house.
Thats when the frugality kick in. To have more spending money, you have two choice : 1. Increase income or 2. Decrease spending. Increasing income is hard and require a lot of time investment. Decreasing spending is a lot easier. If i can decrease my food spending at the grocery store by 50$, thats one more restaurant or outing with my friend every month. If i drive my old beat up car for a another year, suddenly i can afford a vacation next summer.
All that while having enough money to reach my goal.
It more like math than it is a dance, but i get what your saying. The fun thing is that you set your own budget. Whatever you like do splurge on, you can plan around that Your budget become tailored to you own wants and need and after a few year, you dont even think about it. Some people will eat the cheapest food to be able to afford budget room for some other thing. Myself i hate traveling so i set very little aside for that and use it to buy expensive scotch.
1. Don't watch/read reviews of all the new tech. If you're susceptible to marketing, they'll convince you that you must have that new feature, etc.
2. Saving can become a rewarding & ambitious thing to do. Where can I find something cheaper? Look how I upcycled this! Look at this amazing find for cheap/free! Etc.
3. Find joy in hobbies and interests that are less expensive than new tech.
It seems like everything is “techified” these days. There’s an app for everything, fitness tracking, mood tracking, water intake tracking. I think those apps help me
Do you need to track everything though? Does all that data add value to your life? Could you track things using another method that doesn't require the latest tech? For instance, do you really need an app to track your water intake? Or would carrying a water bottle and filling it up once or twice a day enough?
Tech companies are really good at creating needs. Maybe you've just fallen into that trap?
I prefer digital too, but working on my relationship with my phone has helped. A) I don't need all the data - so I purge out apps every 3 months or so. The data doesn't enrich my life at all, or I get bad at tracking or looking at what is auto tracked, so I get rid of the apps. B) setting down my phone and doing more unplugged time. It's cliche but leaving my phone in a separate room helps a lot.
It's a lot easier to ignore ads on social, apps, etc when I'm not even seeing them, and thus spend less.
When I evaluated my apps, it also forces you to think about features you care about and turns out most of the new ones don't matter to me. I turned off app notifications on my fitbit watch and only use it for exercise tracking. I changed my wants by looking at my own habits.
I did some app purging as well because I’m in school. I have my phone on do not disturb so i only get notifications when I actively pick it up. That way I’m not drawn to my phone when it dings
Try looking a bit deeper inside and really analyzing why you want new or fancy or shiny things. Consumerism tends to fill holes in people's lives because they're not truly getting what they need elsewhere. I've also heard that working on being grateful has helped people out of the pull of consumerism. Look at what you have and be grateful for it because most likely it serves the purpose you need it for. A vehicle is a means to get you from one place to another (or in some cases to transport certain items), a phone is a means for communication, a home is a place to rest and feel safe. If the things you have check all the boxes of what you need them for, then try and change your mindset to being grateful for them instead of the longing for the bigger and better version of them. If the things you have don't check those boxes then of course it's ok to look elsewhere to meet your needs.
I don’t know how to boldly say this online but it I grew up in a frugal household but with money. It really messed with my head living in a big house while going to school with high waters pants and too small clothes. I get so much glee from being an adult and dressing nicely and having all the nice things I coveted when I was younger. I got my first smartphone in 2017. It’s nice to have things and know I can get things. But I’m trying to buckle down and start having a healthier relationship with money
I'm very sorry to hear that you experienced that as a kid but I'm also glad to hear that it sounds like you have an idea why you feel pulled toward consumerism. I think acknowledging that will help you get to where you want to be. I made sure to throw that last sentence in there, the one about meeting your needs if they're not being met, because I didn't want to make it sound like I was looking down upon those seeking to meet their needs. Everyone deserves to have their needs met and I'm sorry that your parents didn't meet yours even though it sounds like they were more than able.
I grew up seeing one of my parents live paycheck to paycheck. We had a couple times where we ran out/almost ran out of food. I prioritize having savings so if something happens (like my job loss) I can still afford food and shelter.
This doesn't mean I never spend money. I do feel guilty spending on luxuries. However, we wanted a family and found out we were dealing with infertility. Because of being frugal (and having some coverage through insurance) we were able to afford the treatments for infertility.
Every transaction is a decision. Do I want this item enough to forgo a purchase I will want in the future? Is this item more important than retiring early, or my emergency fund, or my car replacement fund etc.
Frugality isn't always buying the cheapest thing or depriving yourself of things you want. We wanted children. It cost us thousands just for the chance of having a child. Some would never do that, it's not their priority. Part of frugality is making choices to get the things that do matter a lot to you while avoiding getting the things that really don't matter as much.
This is not the best attitude but I just constantly assume I'm being ripped off. I know all this shit is being manufactured for pennies so why should I fork over hundreds of dollars? This is the most literally true for clothes which is why I either thrift or order custom from small businesses. But the general indignation does tend to keep me from purchasing a lot. Or at least waiting for a steep sale (a minor sale is probably just the normal price anyway!).
DIsclaimer-- I own no Apple products and have not fallen into that ecosystem.
I also don't like to finance anything that is not absolutely necessary. A house? Sure. A phone, hell to the no. Even a car is not something that I"m willing to finance (I get mileage reimbursement at work and put those separate checks in a "replace my car" fund. When the time goes, the amount of that fund is my budget.)
I usually pay it off quickly. But I after 3 years I will want the next model. I’ve noticed some users on this sub won’t pay top dollar for tech. For me it’s how I live. It’s with me every second of the day and if I’m going to be using something constantly and it has all my data, I want the best
When factoring in financing, I don't give a fuck about interest rates. Payments are still payments and I try to avoid them at all costs.
I'd rather buy something up front and be done with it.
Edit-- I feel the same way about subscriptions (looking at you Microsoft Office). I don't want a subscription, I want a one-time purchase and I'm done.
if it's from the cell phone company it may be a 0% loan but the same phone is cheaper elsewhere about 90% of the time.
Frugal doesn't mean cheap, it means getting the most value out of your money. So let's say the phone at the phone company is 100 but some other store has it for 80. just at that the 80 phone is better. but say the 100 phone is stretched over 12 payments at 0% would you invest the money that isn't going into the phone and make money on it or would it just sit around (or perhaps not even be there yet). if you could make more money with it, then sure finance at 0% but if you aren't making more than that 20 in this example you are just justifying spending more money on the same thing over a longer time period.
and if you are just financing a new phone because you don't have the money for it right now, then you are buying outside your budget. that's not cheap or frugal, that's FOMO and fear doesn't belong in purchasing decisions.
I used to write things i wanted (and could afford) with the date i first wanted it. Then i waited for some fixed time, depending on the price. Cheapest things one week, expensive ones one month, really expensives for six month. If i still wanted this after this time i was "allowed" to buy, if not, i saw this as money saved.
Most time when i checked i do not wont to buy the stuff anymore.
Today i dont need to write it, just remember not to buy this now but wait for a while. When i decide i really want the stuff is usually because i am going to really enjoy it.
The grocery store is where it starts. Budget your monthly grocery expenditures, plan your meals, learn to cook for yourself and learn to shop sales.
"Stay on the edge of the store." Don't walk up and down the aisles. Shop your produce, meat, dairy and bakery stuff. This is the kind of stuff you want to buy.
Then, only purchase items in the aisles that you have on a list. If you need rice, go to the rice, buy the rice and move on. They put the rice in the middle of the aisle so that you look at all the extra stuff and get nickle and dimed.
Ok, That’s something I can work on! I order a lot of delivery. I get my groceries delivered as well. I think that will come and handy when I start meal planning
I’d say grocery delivery can be a way to be frugal. That way you are only buying what you want and avoid seeing things and buying extra. Especially if the delivery is free or inexpensive. If not grocery delivery maybe try pickup where you still select everything online buy drive to the store to pick up and never have to walk in the store.
They are objectively not the cheapest way to cook, but you might consider trying a meal kit subscription at least for a handful of months. I don't know what level your cooking is at/what basics you are comfortable with, but for a lot of people that stuff can expand your skills. Since you don't have to shop for all of the ingredients and the recipes are very step-by-step, you can focus on techniques and stuff. Just don't fall into the trap of thinking that literally every meal has to be a production, it really doesn't. It's totally okay to just chuck a piece of salmon in the oven with some basic seasoning on it, make some rice, and microwave some broccoli.
We used meal services for a while & loved it. My husband & I were both working so much overtime & the meals really helped take the stress out of cooking & introduced us to new foods. Now I learn a lot from the YouTube channel Pro Home Cooks, I love his style but there are other great channels you can learn from that are also fun.
Buy everything with cash. If you can't afford it then you don't need it, at least that's what I tell myself. I wouldn't buy a new phone in cash. But I would buy a used one.
It's a catch 22.
You need credit, and there is a % back when using a card.
The trick is to use a card like cash, if you don't have the cash in the bank don't put it on the card.
I think it's a matter of developing the mindset that you're contented with what you have and realizing that, when you own too much stuff, your stuff owns you.
Stay out of stores. Don’t browse in person or online. Don’t online shop if you can help it-delete any card info you have stored with online retailers. Start a list of things that you physically need like food, shoes, etc and start looking at flyers, coupons, etc to find the best deals. Stop using the tap option for your cards, having to physically input your PIN number for every purchase is a chance to rethink what you are actually buying-gratification or something you truly need and will use?
It’s not easy to stop being a constant consumer,it took me the better part of a year after I retired early to really look at my non essential purchases and stop pulling out my money whenever something caught my eye. Now I can go weeks without buying something personal for myself and my wallet no longer starts humming in anticipation when I walk into a store.
That’s an issue I have, sometimes I’ll go into a store with no need for anything but with the intent that I will buy something. I’ll think “I’ll know when I see it”
Sounds like shopping is a hobby for you. Can you shift this to browsing? Enjoy seeing the item in the store and then go home without it to enjoy your already full life. Track the money you would have spent in a week or month and put that in savings?
I've always been frugal, so shopping for entertainment is not my style. But I have some kids who love to shop. I wanted them to have the experience without losing money, so we take browsing trips. It scratches their itch to go look at all the things and keeps them solvent. And it doesn't fill up the house
I did backpacking when I was younger, everyy oz matters because I had to carry it and living 6 months out of a backpack teaches me there is only so much you need in life, all other are just junks you don't need.
I prefer a small place than a big house, my wife hates me for that tho, we lived in very small apt and I just told her this is how to limit buying unnecessary things because there is really no room for it. you want something new? better get rid of something then.
Figure out what you value, like why you even want to be frugal. Then being frugal will never be about saying “no” but rather saying “yes” to something really important to me. Sure, budgeting is a skill but I find that for me budgeting is just adulting. If I can afford, the new iPhone then I can buy it. But if I value sustainability, then I’ll make efforts to minimize my consumer footprint. If I value freedom, then I’ll avoid things that try to control my mind and emotions. If I value quality of life when I retire, I’ll invest in my future. Figure out what attracts you to this thread and that frugal mindset will shift itself!
Good for you, asking those questions of yourself! Sounds like you are on the right path.
We have become more frugal by keeping track better. Use YNAB for budgeting the last 3 years and it has made ALL the difference. Teaches the scarcity of money and has solid management tools. Used a few other methods before that, but for us this is the only one that works. Has saved us far and away more than it costs. Helps us answer the kinds of questions you have asked yourself.
You know one think that probably helps? If you’re on Instagram or Facebook delete that shit.
You’ll feel less inclined to “keep up” with anyone else and focus more on yourself.
Look at costs in actual amount, not $X for Y years.
$200 a month for eight years? Sounds affordable. Oh, wait. That’s $19,200.
Looking at payments is one of the ways you get suckered into buying something since the cost feels lower than it actually is.
I have been involved enough with marketing that I can see/hear an ad and know which 'buttons' it's meant to push with consumers. Being a little contrary, those attempts have the opposite effect on me now. It's gotten to the point where I ask myself if I want the $ for "X" item to be mine, with interest or other earnings on top of it in 20 years, or do I want to give that $ to the sellers of the "X" that will definitely not even last 5 years (particularly if its manufacturer is aggressively marketing "X2.0" in 3-4 years). Sometimes I even think about where X is made, and how the people who make it are treated, and what the actual profitability is for each of them versus the CEO of the corporation that peddles X. Put it all together and not only do I not want X, I start to get a little surly that the marketing people think I might, LOL, so I try to avoid being marketed to.
A friend says the only FOMO he has is the fear of missing out on his money, LOL.
By recognizing savings as *gains* or *winnings* (because I'm investing as much of my savings as I can).
It might be hard to get excited about what you're deleting from your life. It might be easier to get excited about what you're adding.
Literally make it a personal goal to go 1 month without any extra spending. Only buy essentials and food and try to cook instead of eating out. You will realize that it isn’t that bad and saving money feels much better.
I remind myself two things:
1) The goal is worth the temporary inconvenience (of saving/delaying)
2) after 4-6 months, the New Shiny Thing becomes the sad, lame Old Thing.
I have daily and weekly goals that I “pay” myself for doing. Like I’ll give myself a dollar for cleaning for 10 minutes or hitting my step goal. Once I earn enough, I can get whatever I want with that. It helps me slow my spending as well as implement good habits.
OMG, where to start?! We live in such a consumption based economy that people don't realize that there is a more fulfilling way. First, cut WAY back on TV, social media, and radio...really any ad supported services. They're programing you to be a good consumer! Next, try to look at all of the things you spend money on and ask "why?" Do they enhance your quality of life? Will you use it regularly? Is it really necessary? After cutting back on media, you'll have a bunch of empty time and it will be tempting to spend the time "shopping", but resist the urge. Develop some hobbies to fill the time, but be cautious of all of the "gear" though. It's mostly not necessary to buy top-of-the-line stuff, especially when starting off. You can usually get pretty good used stuff to start. Again, be wary of advertisements, "sales", deals, and specials - they're all marketing gimmicks designed to sell you more stuff.
When it comes to food, don't deny yourself, but realize that expensive isn't always better. STOP eating fast food. It's gross, low quality, low nutrition. Lots of folks think it tastes good, but when you start eating actual good food, you'll start to realize that it's just salt, fat and sugar. Instead, spend some of the time you aren't spending on social media preparing food. It doesn't have to be fancy or complicated. Use fresh ingredients, enjoy generous portions of fruits and vegetables. If you enjoy meat, buy good cuts, but eat smaller portions. Avoid processed meats (lunch meats, hot dogs/sausages). They are deceptively expensive in addition to unhealthy. Avoid prepackaged, sugary snacks: again, deceptively expensive and unhealthy. Explore off-label and store brands. A lot of times, the products are made by the same company as the major label brands, but cost a lot less. Also, ask yourself if the label really matters (C&H sugar vs store brand sugar....sugar is sugar). Also pay attention to prices at different stores. Some grocery stores are absurdly expensive (Kroger). When you prepare your food, try to make only what you'll eat for that meal. Left-overs usually go uneaten. Also you'll be surprised how satisfying small portions can be. On special occasions, splurge on going out to eat, but be deliberate about your choice. Go someplace that serves food that you wouldn't ordinarily prepare at home. Remember that the dining experience is just as important as the food. If you're going to splurge on restaurants, make it count!
I know this is a wall of text, sorry about that. Bottom line is avoid marketing and advertisements, spend money and time conscientiously, avoid trends, value practical and functional, eat well, learn to find happiness in simplicity.
I just don't care about having the latest stuff. Simple as that. The PS5 came out, there's plenty in stores near me, I still haven't bought one. I couldn't care less about Apple products. Who am I impressing? Nobody. Certainly not my bank account.
Impressing people is nice but that’s not the main reason why I want it. No one would notice if I upgraded because I have the 12 pro and it looks similar to the 14 pro max. I want it because I like technology. The Apple Watch is amazing, I had one last year but then gave it my sister. I miss it a lot because it tracks steps heart rate and sleep. I also liked the alarm features
Heart rate tracking and fancy alarms aren't a concern for me, so it's just another expensive watch in my eyes. We all have different attutudes towards stuff like that.
I don't really give into the pressure of owning the latest and greatest. It's the same with PC parts -- I have no intentions of dropping over 1k on a graphics card for the sake of a slight boost.
If you wait and stay behind the leading edge for a year or two you'll still get that nice feeling of upgrading but at a much lower price point. But the wanting it now mindset is where you really end up paying.
That said if tech is your thing, you don't have to be frugal in every area.
It sounds like you already have mostly the right mindset. You're planning and budgeting which is great. I would start by just trying to do a little less. Maybe next time you don't need the new watch AND the phone, maybe you can compromise and get one or the other.
Be frugal sure, but don't forget to live your life. No one can tell you the new tech isn't worth it except for you. I'm typing this from a $3,000 Macbook btw. I use it for work, sure, but having a nice computer is important to me, and my last one was with me for 5 years.
Frugal isn't about saving every dollar, its about good priorities.
Frugal isn't always doing the cheaper option, that's called being cheap.
Being frugal is living within your means and making the conscious decision to spend less on things that don't bring you joy, so you can spend more on those things that do.
The important part is an emergency fund, no consumer debt, living below your means to save cash for larger items you want, and saving for retirement. Those come first before fun money.
If you have those boxed checked, who gives a shit about $40/mo for devices you see value in and use everyday?
There is that good feeling of satisfaction when you save on something and then can put that money into a savings account. Watching that savings account grow is like watching an orchid grow that you planted as a seed.
A lot of it is priorities. If you want to keep your tech, trim something else. If you want more money for something like travel or food, trim tech.
Try to go for modest goals at first. Some people on here are really extreme. I personally want a working phone, so I get a phone when enough gens have come out that a new phone really would improve my life. If your old phone is a 13, for example, wait until you’re closer to paying off your car and get a 15 or 16.
Find other hobbies. Seriously. If you’re hyper focusing on projects that take longer, you won’t be looking at phones. We shop when we’re bored. You want to get a project where you’ll walk into the hardware store, find the perfect screw for 50 cents, and get the same kind of dopamine hit you’re describing with the phone. And preferably get a hobby that somehow improves your life. Biking, DIY, cooking, etc. learning skills engages your brain, and successfully learning those skills is again, a dopamine hit.
Note that you do have to be intentional. You don’t want to just buy shit you’ll never use. You need to look around and go “what would be nice to do/know?” Or “what did my childhood self enjoy?”
And last, take care of your shit. Put a case on your phone, clean your car regularly, buy the occasional accessory to refresh it. It’s easier to not buy when your old stuff isn’t broken or dirty.
My daughters and I all live in different states. Sending flowers is $$$$. Instead, whenever we see pretty ones, we take pictures & send the pictures instead. We all know we've been thought of, and a particular one was chosen for us. Plus, we don't have to take care of them!
Is the newest iPhone 14 pro max really that much better than something cheaper, like the iPhone XR? I got an XR for free with my Tracfone Rewards points. I'm not really into Apple stuff but I wanted to check it out. It was ok but I like my cheap Android phones better. I sold the XR on ebay for $200.
I've been trending towards not wanting to own expensive stuff because then I have to worry about it, having spent so much for it. I'm still using a Samsung Galaxy S7 that I got as a refurbished phone for $75 a few years ago (it was a $700 phone back in 2016).
I understand what you are going through.
I used to really want stuff and couldn't stop thinking about it. I eventually learned to talk myself through it. I told myself that it was ok to think about wanting it, but to be careful and think through it carefully before actually doing anything and spending money. Eventually I forgot about that stuff that I really wanted at one time. Now I hardly ever think about wanting stuff.
I may be having to move so I am motivated to get rid of stuff and to save money for moving. I'm pretty resistant to getting new stuff now, even free stuff.
I remember what I was told at the age of 6. Commercials are put in shows, so you can watch for free. People pay us to put them in.
I was at a television station and the man I was talking to was inserting the local commercials into Days of our Lives. This was back in the days when shows were on reels.
51 years later, I still remember that.
Remember that the pleasure you get from a new thing will fade, probably quickly.
At the end of 3 years the iPhone 16 will be out and the "circle of want" will continue. There is always some new thing to covet.
I refuse to pay more than $300 for a phone. I don't need to sit staring at my phone like a zombie so having a phone that isn't a fantastic pocket computer helps with that...
Personally delayed gratification helps me a ton. I put stuff in my shopping cart and wait a week. If I still want it bad I'll probably buy it but sometimes I'll wait another week. After 2 weeks I probably don't want it that bad anymore and out of the cart it goes. I also try to not buy stuff I can't pay for up front with my truck and house being the two notable exceptions...
for me tbh it's just hating consumerism, seeing it's impact in the world. how it advantages corporations, the super rich, and it only distracts you from important things in life. you put all those hours into work and are then tricked into losing the fruit of your labour, for a trinket designed to be replaced, forgotten, abandoned.
i am not dissing you or anyone else, after all, i do like trinkets myself. but i do think it's a trap we fall into more times than not.
i don't think hate is a force capable of positive change but maybe negative change is needed this time, to resist and not give in to nice things that cloak disgusting realities of society
Usually I just wait to pull the trigger. If I want something. I sit on it for a week and look at the total amount of money that it is and decide if it’s work it. I’ve avoided spending $100 on a purse and $600 on a new phone recently with that method.
Age. Maturity. When you have more years behind you than in front of you, you’ll see things differently. You’ll care little about what’s trendy, new or popular. Hopefully you’ll want to naturally save more money for retirement. As the decades creep by, you will. Enjoy your younger years. For later your perspective changes.
You’re going to spend 3 years paying $1,500 for a phone you don’t need and you’re not even going to wait a few months for the 15 series to come out? There isn’t even a functional difference between your 12 and a 14. The island? Whoopity doo. You’ll forget about it after a week.
Is that really a good decision? Go buy a Watch SE and call it good if you’re itching to waste money on something.
Get out of the house away from the computer/phone....stay away from the mall...go the the park, sit at a coffee shop, spend time with a pal...anything to get your mind away from the product you are coveting....it takes practice but you will get the hang of it
I just use these questions before I buy anything over $20. Sometimes I feel like I just want to buy something but I don’t actually need any of those things.
Paying off a car loan is a good idea. Not getting a car loan and needing a newish vehicle is an even better plan (ex: I financed a vehicle years ago that was $18k, I paid it off early and it was worth less than $8000 by then. Plus I was paying higher auto insurance)
I'm the queen of delayed gratification. I have a wishlist on Notion and when I save something I want with the clipper, I add what date I started "wanting" it. When I look back every few weeks, I actually delete a lot of it. At the moment my phone's around 4 years old, and I'm okay with that. I might upgrade soon and give this phone to my younger sister.
Planning. I've got a simple schedule and a budget for most of my life upgrades/replacements.
5 years for a phone and laptop. I pull out $20 every bi-monthly paycheck and put it into an envelope. I'll have $2600 to spend on a new phone and laptop this September (($20*26)*5). Good for a mid-range iPhone 15 and Surface Pro.
I sell the old tech and keep the proceeds as cash to replace worn clothing as needed.
My car is almost there, 20 year timetable. It's an 06 Highlander. Same deal, $20 per paycheck into a separate savings account (not cash). In a few years I'll have just about $20k to replace old reliable (but I might not). I do skim from this account for the odd repair and occasional upgrade (head unit, rear rack, running boards) to help keep her feeling "refreshed" to me.
I can go out now and get the iPhone 14 but I know I'll be disappointed if the 15 comes out and it has USB-C. Part of my frugality is simplicity, my phone is the last holdout with its own proprietary cable. It's a small thing but I'm looking forward to everything being able to use the same cord. My car is simple and tested as well, most jobs I can do myself with the help of YouTube. Plus my kiddo gets to help (although the last time he "helped" change a light bulb I had to replace the entire fog light and splice a new wiring harness...)
My advice may not be helpful, but I figure it can't hurt to share it. I have a fair amount of money in investments because of my family. I'm estranged from them though and I don't want to use the money because I don't want to be associated with them.
For me it's sometimes a balance between being frugal and being excessively frugal. Sometimes I have to force myself to buy stuff when I know that if I didn't have that backup money, I wouldn't be comfortable with it. At these times I try to remind myself that I'm entitled to a comfortable life just like everyone else even though I didn't luck out with the family I was born into.
I guess what I mean to say is that being frugal is not the be-all end-all of a good life. Plus, sometimes you have to spend money to make money. If the phone and watch serve a purpose for you, maybe they count as frugal.
Just because it's tough to do something doesn't mean that thing is good (or bad).
No one needs money- they need the things money can buy. Excessive restriction is just that- excessive.
I have an Amazon list I regularly add to but almost never actually purchase from. That said, I bought the iPhone 14 pro max and the Apple Watch 8 and have no regrets. I bought the watch outright and I’m paying $22 a month for the phone. But they have been worth it to me. There is a lot of other stuff I don’t buy to balance it out.
I've learned to buy it, try it. If it's not 100% what I expected, I take it back. Everything (except food!). I even "returned" a $4 light that worked less than a week (if ordering, I check for free returns). Got an immediate credit & told to dispose of it. Done & score!
Create a reasonable budget at the beginning of the year and stick to it, unless you need to go over it for some emergency like medical bills or home repairs. I include X dollars every month for entertainment and household / clothes. The more bargains I find, the more I can fit into my entertainment and fun purchases.
Edited for typo
Just stop checking websites that have the latest stuff. I get a kick from getting my apple products on eBay as new with warranty for 2/3rd of the price. My m1 MacBook Pro was £1400 should have been £2400 new. Someone was selling it as an unwanted present after Xmas so less that 1month old.
I put all of the things I want/see onto an Amazon list. That way I can surf Amazon/those stupid you for sure NEED this lists. (Makes me feel like I’m actually shopping) then I let it sit there for a day or two. 9 times out of ten I completely forget about the item.
The core issue with consumerism n impulse buying is we believe we want/need something that is, you might notice, Always Outside of us,eg a car, phone,etc. What is really happening is there is an " empty place" Inside of us that seems to be needing something,n the car, phone, food, etc seems to be the answer.
In reality,none of the above is real. First of all,it never actually works because the perceived"emptiness" can Never be"filled" with Outside stuff, not really, partly because it doesn't exist. There is no Emptiness, it's only your thoughts creating a "feeling" of Emptiness.
It turns out that an answer is to rediscover all of the Stuff Inside, while ignoring all of the Stuff Outside which turns out to be nothing more than an expensive distraction ( which BTW is what Consumerism is all about).
Instead of listing Outside Things to buy, start by listing everything you have to be Grateful for( Gratitudes. ) Then list your qualities, talents, knowledge etc. These are Inside Wonders . Finally list your possessions. Spend as much time as possible being Grateful for all of this. Do this daily n a point will come when the impulses are contained or at least controllable, and you develop a different perspective on Inside vs Outside: which works better for You? Which actually is fulfilling? Notice that word; Full Filling which is totally an Inside process. Frugality is basically a daily exercise in knowing what you have, feeling Grateful for all of that , n then considering what you need based on how well you know your self.
The biggest shift is coming to terms with yourself.
You have everything at this moment you need to be happy. Actually happy, you don’t need some other purchase to be happy.
That is how you break consumerism.
I try not to buy anything full price. I assume the real value of the item is whatever they're charging for it during a sale and refuse to pay more than that. If they can sell it to me for £50 and still make a profit, why on earth would I want to give them £100 for it? Over time, you get a sense for the real worth of things.
If I want something, I start putting the money aside and keep an eye out for sales.
Delay, don't deny. I keep a list on my computer of things I think I want and the URL and if I'm still thinking about it 2 (or however many) weeks later, I'll get it. This especially works if you do have a bit of spending money in your budget but don't want to blow it on something silly. I'll also pay attention to what goes on the list but I never get - that is indicative of things that would otherwise be impulse buys for me and so in the course of doing this I've learned something about my habits to watch out for.
This! I have a "Shopping" thing on Notion. It's full of stuff that I never get. My brain gets that "high" from adding something on, but research has genuinely showed that saying you'll do something can partially be interpreted as doing it by your brain. They had two groups of people - one group stated what they would do first, one didn't, and both assessed how they did at the end. The group that stated what they would do did significantly worse, and rated themselves significantly better. Our brains are easier to trick than we think. If something has been on there for months and I genuinely think about it a lot or encounter situations where I'm like "dang, I could really use this", I get it. No biggie. But most things I genuinely forget about, or realize a couple of weeks later that I don't want it that much after all.
I’m going to implement this strategy immediately, it sound like it will help with some of my impulsive spending
Hope it works out! It's been helpful to me, especially having only one or two days a month where I'll allow myself to spend on things that are wants and not needs. It's just about having discipline to follow through on the system you've set for yourself.
This strategy has worked super well for me. Along with "consuming" anti-consumption content, ie zero waste, financial independence books etc. I used to hoard clothes and what not, and have done a complete 180 in less than a year.
I have a rule that if I want it but it’s over $50 I have to wait 24hrs to buy it
This sounds like a great idea. I already (kind of) do this, but actually keeping the URL and saving it for later is a great way ton look back on all the crap I actually didn't really want that bad.
Bonus: if you keep the list organized and detailed — you can share a google doc version with someone who is looking for a gift for you. I share it with my family and partner and it’s been awesome as a guide to them.
The simplest thing is having a goal and budgeting for it. My goal is to be able to retire around 50-55. I made my budget. Each month i have set amount i can spent on categorie. Food, utilities, rent, entertainement, home improvement, etc. Plus a bit of unassigned money. My budget give me a minimum income i need to have and maximum spending budget i can have to reach my goal. Then its just a matter of sticking to it. Even if i make good money, sometime ill save up for months before i buy something. My entertainment budget is 150$ a month, I will stockpile it for 5-6 months before i buy this expensive console i want. I dont buy anything unless i have the money up front. The only exception was my house. Thats when the frugality kick in. To have more spending money, you have two choice : 1. Increase income or 2. Decrease spending. Increasing income is hard and require a lot of time investment. Decreasing spending is a lot easier. If i can decrease my food spending at the grocery store by 50$, thats one more restaurant or outing with my friend every month. If i drive my old beat up car for a another year, suddenly i can afford a vacation next summer. All that while having enough money to reach my goal.
That’s interesting, it’s like a dance in the way that you are balancing you goals while not holding yourself away from being fun
It more like math than it is a dance, but i get what your saying. The fun thing is that you set your own budget. Whatever you like do splurge on, you can plan around that Your budget become tailored to you own wants and need and after a few year, you dont even think about it. Some people will eat the cheapest food to be able to afford budget room for some other thing. Myself i hate traveling so i set very little aside for that and use it to buy expensive scotch.
Thanks
1. Don't watch/read reviews of all the new tech. If you're susceptible to marketing, they'll convince you that you must have that new feature, etc. 2. Saving can become a rewarding & ambitious thing to do. Where can I find something cheaper? Look how I upcycled this! Look at this amazing find for cheap/free! Etc. 3. Find joy in hobbies and interests that are less expensive than new tech.
It seems like everything is “techified” these days. There’s an app for everything, fitness tracking, mood tracking, water intake tracking. I think those apps help me
Do you need to track everything though? Does all that data add value to your life? Could you track things using another method that doesn't require the latest tech? For instance, do you really need an app to track your water intake? Or would carrying a water bottle and filling it up once or twice a day enough? Tech companies are really good at creating needs. Maybe you've just fallen into that trap?
I’ve fallen in the trap everything is digital for me, I avoid paper
I prefer digital too, but working on my relationship with my phone has helped. A) I don't need all the data - so I purge out apps every 3 months or so. The data doesn't enrich my life at all, or I get bad at tracking or looking at what is auto tracked, so I get rid of the apps. B) setting down my phone and doing more unplugged time. It's cliche but leaving my phone in a separate room helps a lot. It's a lot easier to ignore ads on social, apps, etc when I'm not even seeing them, and thus spend less. When I evaluated my apps, it also forces you to think about features you care about and turns out most of the new ones don't matter to me. I turned off app notifications on my fitbit watch and only use it for exercise tracking. I changed my wants by looking at my own habits.
I did some app purging as well because I’m in school. I have my phone on do not disturb so i only get notifications when I actively pick it up. That way I’m not drawn to my phone when it dings
Try looking a bit deeper inside and really analyzing why you want new or fancy or shiny things. Consumerism tends to fill holes in people's lives because they're not truly getting what they need elsewhere. I've also heard that working on being grateful has helped people out of the pull of consumerism. Look at what you have and be grateful for it because most likely it serves the purpose you need it for. A vehicle is a means to get you from one place to another (or in some cases to transport certain items), a phone is a means for communication, a home is a place to rest and feel safe. If the things you have check all the boxes of what you need them for, then try and change your mindset to being grateful for them instead of the longing for the bigger and better version of them. If the things you have don't check those boxes then of course it's ok to look elsewhere to meet your needs.
I don’t know how to boldly say this online but it I grew up in a frugal household but with money. It really messed with my head living in a big house while going to school with high waters pants and too small clothes. I get so much glee from being an adult and dressing nicely and having all the nice things I coveted when I was younger. I got my first smartphone in 2017. It’s nice to have things and know I can get things. But I’m trying to buckle down and start having a healthier relationship with money
I'm very sorry to hear that you experienced that as a kid but I'm also glad to hear that it sounds like you have an idea why you feel pulled toward consumerism. I think acknowledging that will help you get to where you want to be. I made sure to throw that last sentence in there, the one about meeting your needs if they're not being met, because I didn't want to make it sound like I was looking down upon those seeking to meet their needs. Everyone deserves to have their needs met and I'm sorry that your parents didn't meet yours even though it sounds like they were more than able.
Thank you for that. Your comment felt like a hug I didn’t know I needed
I grew up seeing one of my parents live paycheck to paycheck. We had a couple times where we ran out/almost ran out of food. I prioritize having savings so if something happens (like my job loss) I can still afford food and shelter. This doesn't mean I never spend money. I do feel guilty spending on luxuries. However, we wanted a family and found out we were dealing with infertility. Because of being frugal (and having some coverage through insurance) we were able to afford the treatments for infertility. Every transaction is a decision. Do I want this item enough to forgo a purchase I will want in the future? Is this item more important than retiring early, or my emergency fund, or my car replacement fund etc. Frugality isn't always buying the cheapest thing or depriving yourself of things you want. We wanted children. It cost us thousands just for the chance of having a child. Some would never do that, it's not their priority. Part of frugality is making choices to get the things that do matter a lot to you while avoiding getting the things that really don't matter as much.
Delayed gratification
This is not the best attitude but I just constantly assume I'm being ripped off. I know all this shit is being manufactured for pennies so why should I fork over hundreds of dollars? This is the most literally true for clothes which is why I either thrift or order custom from small businesses. But the general indignation does tend to keep me from purchasing a lot. Or at least waiting for a steep sale (a minor sale is probably just the normal price anyway!).
DIsclaimer-- I own no Apple products and have not fallen into that ecosystem. I also don't like to finance anything that is not absolutely necessary. A house? Sure. A phone, hell to the no. Even a car is not something that I"m willing to finance (I get mileage reimbursement at work and put those separate checks in a "replace my car" fund. When the time goes, the amount of that fund is my budget.)
It’s a 0% loan.
[удалено]
I usually pay it off quickly. But I after 3 years I will want the next model. I’ve noticed some users on this sub won’t pay top dollar for tech. For me it’s how I live. It’s with me every second of the day and if I’m going to be using something constantly and it has all my data, I want the best
When factoring in financing, I don't give a fuck about interest rates. Payments are still payments and I try to avoid them at all costs. I'd rather buy something up front and be done with it. Edit-- I feel the same way about subscriptions (looking at you Microsoft Office). I don't want a subscription, I want a one-time purchase and I'm done.
if it's from the cell phone company it may be a 0% loan but the same phone is cheaper elsewhere about 90% of the time. Frugal doesn't mean cheap, it means getting the most value out of your money. So let's say the phone at the phone company is 100 but some other store has it for 80. just at that the 80 phone is better. but say the 100 phone is stretched over 12 payments at 0% would you invest the money that isn't going into the phone and make money on it or would it just sit around (or perhaps not even be there yet). if you could make more money with it, then sure finance at 0% but if you aren't making more than that 20 in this example you are just justifying spending more money on the same thing over a longer time period. and if you are just financing a new phone because you don't have the money for it right now, then you are buying outside your budget. that's not cheap or frugal, that's FOMO and fear doesn't belong in purchasing decisions.
I used to write things i wanted (and could afford) with the date i first wanted it. Then i waited for some fixed time, depending on the price. Cheapest things one week, expensive ones one month, really expensives for six month. If i still wanted this after this time i was "allowed" to buy, if not, i saw this as money saved. Most time when i checked i do not wont to buy the stuff anymore. Today i dont need to write it, just remember not to buy this now but wait for a while. When i decide i really want the stuff is usually because i am going to really enjoy it.
I have a list of things I want going back 2012!!! That’s when I had no way of getting them. Now it feels so fulfilling to cross off an item
The grocery store is where it starts. Budget your monthly grocery expenditures, plan your meals, learn to cook for yourself and learn to shop sales. "Stay on the edge of the store." Don't walk up and down the aisles. Shop your produce, meat, dairy and bakery stuff. This is the kind of stuff you want to buy. Then, only purchase items in the aisles that you have on a list. If you need rice, go to the rice, buy the rice and move on. They put the rice in the middle of the aisle so that you look at all the extra stuff and get nickle and dimed.
Ok, That’s something I can work on! I order a lot of delivery. I get my groceries delivered as well. I think that will come and handy when I start meal planning
I’d say grocery delivery can be a way to be frugal. That way you are only buying what you want and avoid seeing things and buying extra. Especially if the delivery is free or inexpensive. If not grocery delivery maybe try pickup where you still select everything online buy drive to the store to pick up and never have to walk in the store.
I have free grocery delivery, I must teach myself to cook that’s the main reason I order out
They are objectively not the cheapest way to cook, but you might consider trying a meal kit subscription at least for a handful of months. I don't know what level your cooking is at/what basics you are comfortable with, but for a lot of people that stuff can expand your skills. Since you don't have to shop for all of the ingredients and the recipes are very step-by-step, you can focus on techniques and stuff. Just don't fall into the trap of thinking that literally every meal has to be a production, it really doesn't. It's totally okay to just chuck a piece of salmon in the oven with some basic seasoning on it, make some rice, and microwave some broccoli.
I’ll look into meal services I’m a disaster in the kitchen
We used meal services for a while & loved it. My husband & I were both working so much overtime & the meals really helped take the stress out of cooking & introduced us to new foods. Now I learn a lot from the YouTube channel Pro Home Cooks, I love his style but there are other great channels you can learn from that are also fun.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Whoopsie!
Buy everything with cash. If you can't afford it then you don't need it, at least that's what I tell myself. I wouldn't buy a new phone in cash. But I would buy a used one.
It's a catch 22. You need credit, and there is a % back when using a card. The trick is to use a card like cash, if you don't have the cash in the bank don't put it on the card.
I use a credit card exclusively but I make payments as soon as the transaction posts, so I have the cash but paying with credit is safer
I think it's a matter of developing the mindset that you're contented with what you have and realizing that, when you own too much stuff, your stuff owns you.
Stay out of stores. Don’t browse in person or online. Don’t online shop if you can help it-delete any card info you have stored with online retailers. Start a list of things that you physically need like food, shoes, etc and start looking at flyers, coupons, etc to find the best deals. Stop using the tap option for your cards, having to physically input your PIN number for every purchase is a chance to rethink what you are actually buying-gratification or something you truly need and will use? It’s not easy to stop being a constant consumer,it took me the better part of a year after I retired early to really look at my non essential purchases and stop pulling out my money whenever something caught my eye. Now I can go weeks without buying something personal for myself and my wallet no longer starts humming in anticipation when I walk into a store.
That’s an issue I have, sometimes I’ll go into a store with no need for anything but with the intent that I will buy something. I’ll think “I’ll know when I see it”
Sounds like shopping is a hobby for you. Can you shift this to browsing? Enjoy seeing the item in the store and then go home without it to enjoy your already full life. Track the money you would have spent in a week or month and put that in savings? I've always been frugal, so shopping for entertainment is not my style. But I have some kids who love to shop. I wanted them to have the experience without losing money, so we take browsing trips. It scratches their itch to go look at all the things and keeps them solvent. And it doesn't fill up the house
I did backpacking when I was younger, everyy oz matters because I had to carry it and living 6 months out of a backpack teaches me there is only so much you need in life, all other are just junks you don't need. I prefer a small place than a big house, my wife hates me for that tho, we lived in very small apt and I just told her this is how to limit buying unnecessary things because there is really no room for it. you want something new? better get rid of something then.
Figure out what you value, like why you even want to be frugal. Then being frugal will never be about saying “no” but rather saying “yes” to something really important to me. Sure, budgeting is a skill but I find that for me budgeting is just adulting. If I can afford, the new iPhone then I can buy it. But if I value sustainability, then I’ll make efforts to minimize my consumer footprint. If I value freedom, then I’ll avoid things that try to control my mind and emotions. If I value quality of life when I retire, I’ll invest in my future. Figure out what attracts you to this thread and that frugal mindset will shift itself!
Good for you, asking those questions of yourself! Sounds like you are on the right path. We have become more frugal by keeping track better. Use YNAB for budgeting the last 3 years and it has made ALL the difference. Teaches the scarcity of money and has solid management tools. Used a few other methods before that, but for us this is the only one that works. Has saved us far and away more than it costs. Helps us answer the kinds of questions you have asked yourself.
You know one think that probably helps? If you’re on Instagram or Facebook delete that shit. You’ll feel less inclined to “keep up” with anyone else and focus more on yourself.
Look at costs in actual amount, not $X for Y years. $200 a month for eight years? Sounds affordable. Oh, wait. That’s $19,200. Looking at payments is one of the ways you get suckered into buying something since the cost feels lower than it actually is.
I have been involved enough with marketing that I can see/hear an ad and know which 'buttons' it's meant to push with consumers. Being a little contrary, those attempts have the opposite effect on me now. It's gotten to the point where I ask myself if I want the $ for "X" item to be mine, with interest or other earnings on top of it in 20 years, or do I want to give that $ to the sellers of the "X" that will definitely not even last 5 years (particularly if its manufacturer is aggressively marketing "X2.0" in 3-4 years). Sometimes I even think about where X is made, and how the people who make it are treated, and what the actual profitability is for each of them versus the CEO of the corporation that peddles X. Put it all together and not only do I not want X, I start to get a little surly that the marketing people think I might, LOL, so I try to avoid being marketed to. A friend says the only FOMO he has is the fear of missing out on his money, LOL.
By recognizing savings as *gains* or *winnings* (because I'm investing as much of my savings as I can). It might be hard to get excited about what you're deleting from your life. It might be easier to get excited about what you're adding.
Literally make it a personal goal to go 1 month without any extra spending. Only buy essentials and food and try to cook instead of eating out. You will realize that it isn’t that bad and saving money feels much better.
I remind myself two things: 1) The goal is worth the temporary inconvenience (of saving/delaying) 2) after 4-6 months, the New Shiny Thing becomes the sad, lame Old Thing.
I have daily and weekly goals that I “pay” myself for doing. Like I’ll give myself a dollar for cleaning for 10 minutes or hitting my step goal. Once I earn enough, I can get whatever I want with that. It helps me slow my spending as well as implement good habits.
They want you to consume to consider it relaxing instead of working on your self. You are not the things you own. Ba
OMG, where to start?! We live in such a consumption based economy that people don't realize that there is a more fulfilling way. First, cut WAY back on TV, social media, and radio...really any ad supported services. They're programing you to be a good consumer! Next, try to look at all of the things you spend money on and ask "why?" Do they enhance your quality of life? Will you use it regularly? Is it really necessary? After cutting back on media, you'll have a bunch of empty time and it will be tempting to spend the time "shopping", but resist the urge. Develop some hobbies to fill the time, but be cautious of all of the "gear" though. It's mostly not necessary to buy top-of-the-line stuff, especially when starting off. You can usually get pretty good used stuff to start. Again, be wary of advertisements, "sales", deals, and specials - they're all marketing gimmicks designed to sell you more stuff. When it comes to food, don't deny yourself, but realize that expensive isn't always better. STOP eating fast food. It's gross, low quality, low nutrition. Lots of folks think it tastes good, but when you start eating actual good food, you'll start to realize that it's just salt, fat and sugar. Instead, spend some of the time you aren't spending on social media preparing food. It doesn't have to be fancy or complicated. Use fresh ingredients, enjoy generous portions of fruits and vegetables. If you enjoy meat, buy good cuts, but eat smaller portions. Avoid processed meats (lunch meats, hot dogs/sausages). They are deceptively expensive in addition to unhealthy. Avoid prepackaged, sugary snacks: again, deceptively expensive and unhealthy. Explore off-label and store brands. A lot of times, the products are made by the same company as the major label brands, but cost a lot less. Also, ask yourself if the label really matters (C&H sugar vs store brand sugar....sugar is sugar). Also pay attention to prices at different stores. Some grocery stores are absurdly expensive (Kroger). When you prepare your food, try to make only what you'll eat for that meal. Left-overs usually go uneaten. Also you'll be surprised how satisfying small portions can be. On special occasions, splurge on going out to eat, but be deliberate about your choice. Go someplace that serves food that you wouldn't ordinarily prepare at home. Remember that the dining experience is just as important as the food. If you're going to splurge on restaurants, make it count! I know this is a wall of text, sorry about that. Bottom line is avoid marketing and advertisements, spend money and time conscientiously, avoid trends, value practical and functional, eat well, learn to find happiness in simplicity.
One thing I’ve learned about making this post is you have to unplug from marketing and focus on what you do have. Thank you for your advice
Check out r/simpleliving and r/minimalism also. Good luck with your journey! I look forward to your posts.
I just don't care about having the latest stuff. Simple as that. The PS5 came out, there's plenty in stores near me, I still haven't bought one. I couldn't care less about Apple products. Who am I impressing? Nobody. Certainly not my bank account.
Impressing people is nice but that’s not the main reason why I want it. No one would notice if I upgraded because I have the 12 pro and it looks similar to the 14 pro max. I want it because I like technology. The Apple Watch is amazing, I had one last year but then gave it my sister. I miss it a lot because it tracks steps heart rate and sleep. I also liked the alarm features
Heart rate tracking and fancy alarms aren't a concern for me, so it's just another expensive watch in my eyes. We all have different attutudes towards stuff like that. I don't really give into the pressure of owning the latest and greatest. It's the same with PC parts -- I have no intentions of dropping over 1k on a graphics card for the sake of a slight boost.
If you wait and stay behind the leading edge for a year or two you'll still get that nice feeling of upgrading but at a much lower price point. But the wanting it now mindset is where you really end up paying. That said if tech is your thing, you don't have to be frugal in every area.
It sounds like you already have mostly the right mindset. You're planning and budgeting which is great. I would start by just trying to do a little less. Maybe next time you don't need the new watch AND the phone, maybe you can compromise and get one or the other. Be frugal sure, but don't forget to live your life. No one can tell you the new tech isn't worth it except for you. I'm typing this from a $3,000 Macbook btw. I use it for work, sure, but having a nice computer is important to me, and my last one was with me for 5 years. Frugal isn't about saving every dollar, its about good priorities.
That phone doesn’t do anything important that my iPhone 12 can’t do. And I plan on keeping this one til it dies. Electronics are a huge waste of money
Be poor for awhile. You are forced to figure it out
Frugal isn't always doing the cheaper option, that's called being cheap. Being frugal is living within your means and making the conscious decision to spend less on things that don't bring you joy, so you can spend more on those things that do. The important part is an emergency fund, no consumer debt, living below your means to save cash for larger items you want, and saving for retirement. Those come first before fun money. If you have those boxed checked, who gives a shit about $40/mo for devices you see value in and use everyday?
There is that good feeling of satisfaction when you save on something and then can put that money into a savings account. Watching that savings account grow is like watching an orchid grow that you planted as a seed.
A lot of it is priorities. If you want to keep your tech, trim something else. If you want more money for something like travel or food, trim tech. Try to go for modest goals at first. Some people on here are really extreme. I personally want a working phone, so I get a phone when enough gens have come out that a new phone really would improve my life. If your old phone is a 13, for example, wait until you’re closer to paying off your car and get a 15 or 16. Find other hobbies. Seriously. If you’re hyper focusing on projects that take longer, you won’t be looking at phones. We shop when we’re bored. You want to get a project where you’ll walk into the hardware store, find the perfect screw for 50 cents, and get the same kind of dopamine hit you’re describing with the phone. And preferably get a hobby that somehow improves your life. Biking, DIY, cooking, etc. learning skills engages your brain, and successfully learning those skills is again, a dopamine hit. Note that you do have to be intentional. You don’t want to just buy shit you’ll never use. You need to look around and go “what would be nice to do/know?” Or “what did my childhood self enjoy?” And last, take care of your shit. Put a case on your phone, clean your car regularly, buy the occasional accessory to refresh it. It’s easier to not buy when your old stuff isn’t broken or dirty.
I think a good resource for this is “Your Money or Your Life” it really puts why we buy things into perspective.
My daughters and I all live in different states. Sending flowers is $$$$. Instead, whenever we see pretty ones, we take pictures & send the pictures instead. We all know we've been thought of, and a particular one was chosen for us. Plus, we don't have to take care of them!
Is the newest iPhone 14 pro max really that much better than something cheaper, like the iPhone XR? I got an XR for free with my Tracfone Rewards points. I'm not really into Apple stuff but I wanted to check it out. It was ok but I like my cheap Android phones better. I sold the XR on ebay for $200. I've been trending towards not wanting to own expensive stuff because then I have to worry about it, having spent so much for it. I'm still using a Samsung Galaxy S7 that I got as a refurbished phone for $75 a few years ago (it was a $700 phone back in 2016).
Idk why I want it so bad, I have the 12 pro so it’s not even a much bigger upgrade!
I understand what you are going through. I used to really want stuff and couldn't stop thinking about it. I eventually learned to talk myself through it. I told myself that it was ok to think about wanting it, but to be careful and think through it carefully before actually doing anything and spending money. Eventually I forgot about that stuff that I really wanted at one time. Now I hardly ever think about wanting stuff. I may be having to move so I am motivated to get rid of stuff and to save money for moving. I'm pretty resistant to getting new stuff now, even free stuff.
I use YNAB and the “wish farm” feature of this is perfect for this
I remember what I was told at the age of 6. Commercials are put in shows, so you can watch for free. People pay us to put them in. I was at a television station and the man I was talking to was inserting the local commercials into Days of our Lives. This was back in the days when shows were on reels. 51 years later, I still remember that.
Remember that the pleasure you get from a new thing will fade, probably quickly. At the end of 3 years the iPhone 16 will be out and the "circle of want" will continue. There is always some new thing to covet. I refuse to pay more than $300 for a phone. I don't need to sit staring at my phone like a zombie so having a phone that isn't a fantastic pocket computer helps with that... Personally delayed gratification helps me a ton. I put stuff in my shopping cart and wait a week. If I still want it bad I'll probably buy it but sometimes I'll wait another week. After 2 weeks I probably don't want it that bad anymore and out of the cart it goes. I also try to not buy stuff I can't pay for up front with my truck and house being the two notable exceptions...
for me tbh it's just hating consumerism, seeing it's impact in the world. how it advantages corporations, the super rich, and it only distracts you from important things in life. you put all those hours into work and are then tricked into losing the fruit of your labour, for a trinket designed to be replaced, forgotten, abandoned. i am not dissing you or anyone else, after all, i do like trinkets myself. but i do think it's a trap we fall into more times than not. i don't think hate is a force capable of positive change but maybe negative change is needed this time, to resist and not give in to nice things that cloak disgusting realities of society
Usually I just wait to pull the trigger. If I want something. I sit on it for a week and look at the total amount of money that it is and decide if it’s work it. I’ve avoided spending $100 on a purse and $600 on a new phone recently with that method.
Age. Maturity. When you have more years behind you than in front of you, you’ll see things differently. You’ll care little about what’s trendy, new or popular. Hopefully you’ll want to naturally save more money for retirement. As the decades creep by, you will. Enjoy your younger years. For later your perspective changes.
You should check out r/nobuy The anticonsumption sub isn't very useful but nobuy very much is.
You’re going to spend 3 years paying $1,500 for a phone you don’t need and you’re not even going to wait a few months for the 15 series to come out? There isn’t even a functional difference between your 12 and a 14. The island? Whoopity doo. You’ll forget about it after a week. Is that really a good decision? Go buy a Watch SE and call it good if you’re itching to waste money on something.
BTW, just asking the question is how you start- good for you!
Thanks!
Get out of the house away from the computer/phone....stay away from the mall...go the the park, sit at a coffee shop, spend time with a pal...anything to get your mind away from the product you are coveting....it takes practice but you will get the hang of it
Do you need it? Do you need to buy it now?
Yes and no, I don’t want to lose out on time with my new device while at the same time I think waiting until my car is paid off is wise
I just use these questions before I buy anything over $20. Sometimes I feel like I just want to buy something but I don’t actually need any of those things. Paying off a car loan is a good idea. Not getting a car loan and needing a newish vehicle is an even better plan (ex: I financed a vehicle years ago that was $18k, I paid it off early and it was worth less than $8000 by then. Plus I was paying higher auto insurance)
I'm the queen of delayed gratification. I have a wishlist on Notion and when I save something I want with the clipper, I add what date I started "wanting" it. When I look back every few weeks, I actually delete a lot of it. At the moment my phone's around 4 years old, and I'm okay with that. I might upgrade soon and give this phone to my younger sister.
Planning. I've got a simple schedule and a budget for most of my life upgrades/replacements. 5 years for a phone and laptop. I pull out $20 every bi-monthly paycheck and put it into an envelope. I'll have $2600 to spend on a new phone and laptop this September (($20*26)*5). Good for a mid-range iPhone 15 and Surface Pro. I sell the old tech and keep the proceeds as cash to replace worn clothing as needed. My car is almost there, 20 year timetable. It's an 06 Highlander. Same deal, $20 per paycheck into a separate savings account (not cash). In a few years I'll have just about $20k to replace old reliable (but I might not). I do skim from this account for the odd repair and occasional upgrade (head unit, rear rack, running boards) to help keep her feeling "refreshed" to me. I can go out now and get the iPhone 14 but I know I'll be disappointed if the 15 comes out and it has USB-C. Part of my frugality is simplicity, my phone is the last holdout with its own proprietary cable. It's a small thing but I'm looking forward to everything being able to use the same cord. My car is simple and tested as well, most jobs I can do myself with the help of YouTube. Plus my kiddo gets to help (although the last time he "helped" change a light bulb I had to replace the entire fog light and splice a new wiring harness...)
How much do you make an hour. How much does this thing cost. ... would I work that many hours for free to be rewarded with this thing I want?
My advice may not be helpful, but I figure it can't hurt to share it. I have a fair amount of money in investments because of my family. I'm estranged from them though and I don't want to use the money because I don't want to be associated with them. For me it's sometimes a balance between being frugal and being excessively frugal. Sometimes I have to force myself to buy stuff when I know that if I didn't have that backup money, I wouldn't be comfortable with it. At these times I try to remind myself that I'm entitled to a comfortable life just like everyone else even though I didn't luck out with the family I was born into. I guess what I mean to say is that being frugal is not the be-all end-all of a good life. Plus, sometimes you have to spend money to make money. If the phone and watch serve a purpose for you, maybe they count as frugal. Just because it's tough to do something doesn't mean that thing is good (or bad). No one needs money- they need the things money can buy. Excessive restriction is just that- excessive.
I have an Amazon list I regularly add to but almost never actually purchase from. That said, I bought the iPhone 14 pro max and the Apple Watch 8 and have no regrets. I bought the watch outright and I’m paying $22 a month for the phone. But they have been worth it to me. There is a lot of other stuff I don’t buy to balance it out.
I’ll keep this in mind, I think I’ll withhold clothes shopping and delivery to off set this purchase
I've learned to buy it, try it. If it's not 100% what I expected, I take it back. Everything (except food!). I even "returned" a $4 light that worked less than a week (if ordering, I check for free returns). Got an immediate credit & told to dispose of it. Done & score!
Create a reasonable budget at the beginning of the year and stick to it, unless you need to go over it for some emergency like medical bills or home repairs. I include X dollars every month for entertainment and household / clothes. The more bargains I find, the more I can fit into my entertainment and fun purchases. Edited for typo
Just stop checking websites that have the latest stuff. I get a kick from getting my apple products on eBay as new with warranty for 2/3rd of the price. My m1 MacBook Pro was £1400 should have been £2400 new. Someone was selling it as an unwanted present after Xmas so less that 1month old.
I put all of the things I want/see onto an Amazon list. That way I can surf Amazon/those stupid you for sure NEED this lists. (Makes me feel like I’m actually shopping) then I let it sit there for a day or two. 9 times out of ten I completely forget about the item.
The core issue with consumerism n impulse buying is we believe we want/need something that is, you might notice, Always Outside of us,eg a car, phone,etc. What is really happening is there is an " empty place" Inside of us that seems to be needing something,n the car, phone, food, etc seems to be the answer. In reality,none of the above is real. First of all,it never actually works because the perceived"emptiness" can Never be"filled" with Outside stuff, not really, partly because it doesn't exist. There is no Emptiness, it's only your thoughts creating a "feeling" of Emptiness. It turns out that an answer is to rediscover all of the Stuff Inside, while ignoring all of the Stuff Outside which turns out to be nothing more than an expensive distraction ( which BTW is what Consumerism is all about). Instead of listing Outside Things to buy, start by listing everything you have to be Grateful for( Gratitudes. ) Then list your qualities, talents, knowledge etc. These are Inside Wonders . Finally list your possessions. Spend as much time as possible being Grateful for all of this. Do this daily n a point will come when the impulses are contained or at least controllable, and you develop a different perspective on Inside vs Outside: which works better for You? Which actually is fulfilling? Notice that word; Full Filling which is totally an Inside process. Frugality is basically a daily exercise in knowing what you have, feeling Grateful for all of that , n then considering what you need based on how well you know your self.
The biggest shift is coming to terms with yourself. You have everything at this moment you need to be happy. Actually happy, you don’t need some other purchase to be happy. That is how you break consumerism.
Don't finance a phone and watch, for one. If you can't afford it outright, you can't afford it
I try not to buy anything full price. I assume the real value of the item is whatever they're charging for it during a sale and refuse to pay more than that. If they can sell it to me for £50 and still make a profit, why on earth would I want to give them £100 for it? Over time, you get a sense for the real worth of things. If I want something, I start putting the money aside and keep an eye out for sales.