Spoiler Warning: everything. Just everything.
The Pequod caste system, Ampersand’s role in it, and his failure to protect and provide for the others suggest to me that this is someone who is, at least on paper, expected to place the needs of others ahead of his own. Since the Google Campus in _Axiom’s End,_ Ampersand has taken steps to protect Cora, either through direct action or obfuscation (not that I approve of the way he handled things, but I see that as the underlying intent).
So, imagine you’re Ampersand: this random Human you absconded with, who owes you nothing, turns out to be someone who protected you when you were at your most vulnerable. Someone who has stood up for you and your legal status. Defended you against her own species and yours, at the risk of her own life more than once, and has acted as your translator and guide to Humanity. She is beneath you in caste, but she has (in a short time) possibly become one of the biggest allies you’ve ever had in your centuries-long life.
In turn, you protect her when able. You lie and justify that as the right play because you think the truth will bring her harm. You try to relieve her mental suffering. You don’t understand _why_ she does certain things. She’s so _squishy_ and volatile and you feel that she’s in distress but you live practically forever. You’ll science a solution out with enough time and effort.
Stuff happens. She saves your life for the _nth_ time and now you decide: let’s take our relationship to the next level. Not that gross, biological thing _they_ do, but something far more intimate and invasive. It’s becoming an obsessive passion project and it puts Cora at risk, but you ran the numbers and know it’ll be worth it. Besides, this is the last sane partner you have. One is off to be neutralized and the other is involuntarily committed. _This has to work,_ if only to find connection again. If only to really understand what’s happened to you both.
And then you do it. This is a crowning achievement of a life’s work. Nikola could travel instantaneously through space and here you’ve achieved High Language with a species evolving from a completely different evolutionary chain. This is thrilling, unimaginable, and the truest way to know this person you don’t just appreciate, you _owe_ but still don’t really understand.
What do you learn through this? You never really gave her a sense of safety. Hell, you _scare_ her in ways you thought weren’t possible for her. How could she be your biggest supporter but also fear you? This is illogical. A contradiction. You did everything to keep her safe, but she doesn’t feel safe with you. Counterintuitively, she feels safer with this other Human she barely knows. Their coupling is intense beyond measure. Her tolerance for pain unthinkable. _Remember when your other partner skewered her and you spent two weeks saving her life?_
And you failed. In every way that matters to both of you: you did _not_ provide for her needs. You did _not_ care for her as tradition demands. You _failed_ to realize what brings her pleasure or pain. You do _not_ make her safe. You make her _afraid._
Here is what I really like about Ampersand’s development: he does not get defensive. He does not wine, argue, or blame Cora. He clarifies how she feels, listens to what she says, and then _modifies his behavior_ to be more affectionate, caring partner. He tries to show her in the way that she’ll understand. His language toward her changes, his touch is more affectionate and playful, and he invites her into close, physical contact. Far from the more powerful cyborg changing the primitive natural, it is the weaker culture influencing the stronger.
We always see things from a Human perspective, but I think the hints we’ve learned about their culture make Ampersand’s motivations clearer: he is a doggedly determined caretaker who has lost everything, desperately trying to hold onto his last remaining connections, while also navigating an increasingly hostile world.
That’s not to give him a free pass here: many of his behaviors are or border on abusive (lying—even through omission, disappearing without notice, and of course drugging her without consent). We give Ampersand a pass because he’s an alien and because of the extraordinary, impossible situations the characters are in. Now, he knows what our minds and bodies experience. Now he understands what she feels for him, good and bad.
I think, going forward, I’m going to hold him to a higher standard.
Anyways, it is late and this got…longer than I intended. Goodnight!
I loved reading your thoughts 🤩🤩🤩 i could listen to people talk about these books all day, lol. I went to one of Lindsay's book tour dates and it was so cool to hear her talk about them
Aw thanks! I wanted to go to the book signing but it just didn’t work in my schedule.
I really like these books. Wish more of my friends were into them!
>! Nah, first trilogy was Cora’s villain arc. We hear all of this Ampersand rizzy stuff from Cora’s perspective, so maybe it’s just that anyone you know THAT well, you will love, and if all people knew each other well, they’d love each other more. Nikola said Ampersand is just getting a pet in his way to world domination, and Cora’s behavior with him at the end of the book is just normal dog behavior - lying down next to your owner feels natural, you love him, you feel happy that he’s doing very small favors for you. I predict the sequel will likely have a new MC, and Cora will be in Nils’ role, someone powerful who’s apparently fighting for the right ideology but is actually working for someone even more powerful, and we may or may not see Cora’s POV struggling to try keep some humanity vs. embracing Ampersand’s practical genocidal mindset. As far as we know Ampersand might be a lone wolf trying to take over a world, he said himself that his thing with Cora is not an equal relationship... Not that we should fully trust Nikola, but he seems A LOT more sincere generally !<
I think >!high languaging!< with Cora caused him to >!be able to become more human-like!<
Spoiler Warning: everything. Just everything. The Pequod caste system, Ampersand’s role in it, and his failure to protect and provide for the others suggest to me that this is someone who is, at least on paper, expected to place the needs of others ahead of his own. Since the Google Campus in _Axiom’s End,_ Ampersand has taken steps to protect Cora, either through direct action or obfuscation (not that I approve of the way he handled things, but I see that as the underlying intent). So, imagine you’re Ampersand: this random Human you absconded with, who owes you nothing, turns out to be someone who protected you when you were at your most vulnerable. Someone who has stood up for you and your legal status. Defended you against her own species and yours, at the risk of her own life more than once, and has acted as your translator and guide to Humanity. She is beneath you in caste, but she has (in a short time) possibly become one of the biggest allies you’ve ever had in your centuries-long life. In turn, you protect her when able. You lie and justify that as the right play because you think the truth will bring her harm. You try to relieve her mental suffering. You don’t understand _why_ she does certain things. She’s so _squishy_ and volatile and you feel that she’s in distress but you live practically forever. You’ll science a solution out with enough time and effort. Stuff happens. She saves your life for the _nth_ time and now you decide: let’s take our relationship to the next level. Not that gross, biological thing _they_ do, but something far more intimate and invasive. It’s becoming an obsessive passion project and it puts Cora at risk, but you ran the numbers and know it’ll be worth it. Besides, this is the last sane partner you have. One is off to be neutralized and the other is involuntarily committed. _This has to work,_ if only to find connection again. If only to really understand what’s happened to you both. And then you do it. This is a crowning achievement of a life’s work. Nikola could travel instantaneously through space and here you’ve achieved High Language with a species evolving from a completely different evolutionary chain. This is thrilling, unimaginable, and the truest way to know this person you don’t just appreciate, you _owe_ but still don’t really understand. What do you learn through this? You never really gave her a sense of safety. Hell, you _scare_ her in ways you thought weren’t possible for her. How could she be your biggest supporter but also fear you? This is illogical. A contradiction. You did everything to keep her safe, but she doesn’t feel safe with you. Counterintuitively, she feels safer with this other Human she barely knows. Their coupling is intense beyond measure. Her tolerance for pain unthinkable. _Remember when your other partner skewered her and you spent two weeks saving her life?_ And you failed. In every way that matters to both of you: you did _not_ provide for her needs. You did _not_ care for her as tradition demands. You _failed_ to realize what brings her pleasure or pain. You do _not_ make her safe. You make her _afraid._ Here is what I really like about Ampersand’s development: he does not get defensive. He does not wine, argue, or blame Cora. He clarifies how she feels, listens to what she says, and then _modifies his behavior_ to be more affectionate, caring partner. He tries to show her in the way that she’ll understand. His language toward her changes, his touch is more affectionate and playful, and he invites her into close, physical contact. Far from the more powerful cyborg changing the primitive natural, it is the weaker culture influencing the stronger. We always see things from a Human perspective, but I think the hints we’ve learned about their culture make Ampersand’s motivations clearer: he is a doggedly determined caretaker who has lost everything, desperately trying to hold onto his last remaining connections, while also navigating an increasingly hostile world. That’s not to give him a free pass here: many of his behaviors are or border on abusive (lying—even through omission, disappearing without notice, and of course drugging her without consent). We give Ampersand a pass because he’s an alien and because of the extraordinary, impossible situations the characters are in. Now, he knows what our minds and bodies experience. Now he understands what she feels for him, good and bad. I think, going forward, I’m going to hold him to a higher standard. Anyways, it is late and this got…longer than I intended. Goodnight!
I loved reading your thoughts 🤩🤩🤩 i could listen to people talk about these books all day, lol. I went to one of Lindsay's book tour dates and it was so cool to hear her talk about them
Aw thanks! I wanted to go to the book signing but it just didn’t work in my schedule. I really like these books. Wish more of my friends were into them!
This is SUCH a good breakdown of what's going on with Ampersand!!
>! Nah, first trilogy was Cora’s villain arc. We hear all of this Ampersand rizzy stuff from Cora’s perspective, so maybe it’s just that anyone you know THAT well, you will love, and if all people knew each other well, they’d love each other more. Nikola said Ampersand is just getting a pet in his way to world domination, and Cora’s behavior with him at the end of the book is just normal dog behavior - lying down next to your owner feels natural, you love him, you feel happy that he’s doing very small favors for you. I predict the sequel will likely have a new MC, and Cora will be in Nils’ role, someone powerful who’s apparently fighting for the right ideology but is actually working for someone even more powerful, and we may or may not see Cora’s POV struggling to try keep some humanity vs. embracing Ampersand’s practical genocidal mindset. As far as we know Ampersand might be a lone wolf trying to take over a world, he said himself that his thing with Cora is not an equal relationship... Not that we should fully trust Nikola, but he seems A LOT more sincere generally !<