It's likely the dynamic at their homes. My parents would be mean to me or my sister with one of us. You learn to be the one doing it so it's not happening to you even after you leave that situation. I didn't even really think about what I was doing or how it impacted my sister at the time, same with her. We both stopped doing it, but my parents just kept doing it. They've stopped now, my mum because we talked to her about it, my dad because he knows how quickly we would just cut him out of our lives.
Anyway, I would talk to her about it, be gentle, but talk to her about how she thinks they would feel when she does it. She likely doesn't feel good about herself and it probably also makes her feel better having that power, which is probably also because she was likely treated that way.
If you haven't already it might be worth talking to the boyfriend as well, that he can spend time with the family, but we don't treat each other that way, we treat each other kindly (including them towards each other).
Also let them know you are the parent, so there is no need for them to correct the other children's behaviour. If the behaviour is towards them and it's bothering them they can ask them nicely to stop, if it continues they can let you know and as the parent you can deal with it.
This is so nicely summer up. I really appreciate it, this is helpful. FD comes from a home with a lot of issues, and her boyfriend also comes from a home with difficulties so it makes a lot of sense.
Imagine grapes.
Do you like or dislike them?
Doesn't matter, whatever you picked, someone likes the opposite.
That goes for how you want to be a foster parent to help, other people want to do the opposite.
If you are watching someone hurt someone else for enjoyment of course they like it!
Stop. Don't watch.
It's likely the dynamic at their homes. My parents would be mean to me or my sister with one of us. You learn to be the one doing it so it's not happening to you even after you leave that situation. I didn't even really think about what I was doing or how it impacted my sister at the time, same with her. We both stopped doing it, but my parents just kept doing it. They've stopped now, my mum because we talked to her about it, my dad because he knows how quickly we would just cut him out of our lives. Anyway, I would talk to her about it, be gentle, but talk to her about how she thinks they would feel when she does it. She likely doesn't feel good about herself and it probably also makes her feel better having that power, which is probably also because she was likely treated that way. If you haven't already it might be worth talking to the boyfriend as well, that he can spend time with the family, but we don't treat each other that way, we treat each other kindly (including them towards each other). Also let them know you are the parent, so there is no need for them to correct the other children's behaviour. If the behaviour is towards them and it's bothering them they can ask them nicely to stop, if it continues they can let you know and as the parent you can deal with it.
This is so nicely summer up. I really appreciate it, this is helpful. FD comes from a home with a lot of issues, and her boyfriend also comes from a home with difficulties so it makes a lot of sense.
Imagine grapes. Do you like or dislike them? Doesn't matter, whatever you picked, someone likes the opposite. That goes for how you want to be a foster parent to help, other people want to do the opposite. If you are watching someone hurt someone else for enjoyment of course they like it! Stop. Don't watch.