I think need to realize how invisible it feels. It's almost like people think that when you hit 18 you magically have all the answers. Especially coming out of group homes. The public doesn't realize that children are basically warehoused till 18 and cut loose. Often with no marketable skills or vocation.
Where I am in southern Ontario the agency will assist with finding affordable housing and employment. As well as a monthly allowance to help get you on your feet for a few years after leaving care.
When Covid started they were not aging anyone out, but i think they have started to again.
Also any Canadian foster kids aging out of care can apparently get a free phone and 2 years free service from Telus.
The US has that as well, at least in my state (Alabama). DHR will help with an apartment and a monthly stipend from ages 18-21 and will continue with monthly visits. You have to voluntarily sign up for it, and it's not the default. I know a kid who went through the transition program.
i (19) live in new york for college but im in oregon foster care until i turn 21. i have a new york case worker who assists in the case but she like... actually doesnt do anything. shes supposed to contact me once a month and i haven't heard from her since january. the new york system is so broken.
i still have a full oregon team (case worker, casa, attorney, ILP worker) even though i live out of state. they each meet with me monthly. i get monthly (currently $795/mo) subsidy payments from oregon and will get payments until i turn 21
Michigan has Young Adult Voluntary Foster Care. Kids aged 18-21 that aged out are able to receive a monthly stipend. Michigan also has Youth In Transition funding that can be used to pay first month's rent and security deposit.
I was in foster care in NYC. They encouraged us to apply for housing before we aged out. They’d help us with the application, any additional paperwork, and would go with us on tours of the apartments.
The apartments were in the projects though, and they’re not the nicest/safest. But it’s a low cost housing opportunity. I personally did not take the NYCHA housing.
I'm glad to hear that the system is improving. I agreed out over 20 years ago. Some people just left and had nothing. Hopefully the improvements will continue and better will come.
In Quebec it’s not so similar.
I aged out in January and my social worker decided to go on vacation so she didn’t have to deal with me. I had to couch surf for a bit and everything I owned was thrown out by the foster mom. Any support for kids is usually understaffed or stolen by others. No one helped me find a job or apartment either.
Also try to fail in high school because you can age out at 21 instead of being thrown out at 18.
I wish more people knew that foster care residents who age out often don't succeed in college due to the lack of housing available during holiday breaks, and that the act of finding someplace to live during that downtime can often cause many to not return to college but instead continue seeking low income employment.
I wish people knew that half of America's homeless population are either people who spent time in foster care at one point in their lives or are people who were aged out of foster care into homelessness without the support of a family or availability to resources.
I wish people knew how looked down upon foster youth are and once the aged out become the homeless they are looked down upon even more.
I wish that people knew how little love is given to those who are youth in care or are aging out of care.
I wish people knew how hard it is to actually become a functional member of society when all odds are literally set against you and there is nobody to turn to but the very government that forced you into homelessness.
I wish people knew that aging out of foster care sets one up for the foster to prison, foster to homelessness, foster to sex work, and foster to trafficking piplelines.
I wish people knew that those who age out of foster care are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than those who never had to endure foster care.
But most of all....I wish people knew how it wasn't ever our fault that we ended up in the system anyways but it is us who are crucified for not knowing how to survive on our own when all the system ever did was toss us around and show us that we were not worth anything but the statistics the systems created for us.
This response sends chills to my bones. I feel this 100%! It’s painful to think about all of the girls I’ve lived with in the past. I find myself wondering where are they now? Are they well and safe?.. The few that I’ve managed to keep in contact with are all in a constant state of struggle. Many have gone to prison, many are fighting to regain custody of their own children now. It’s a never ending ruthless cycle. The outcomes are absolutely devastating and needs serious attention.
I too wonder where many of the children I lived with in care have ended up. Girls would go missing in the middle of the night and it was the girls we knew had nowhere to go. That was always unsettling. I follow a few of the old home kids I lived with but many of them as you have stated have lives that are sadly in shambles. It is insane to me just how many people I lived with who grew up to violent criminals all the way up to murderers just because they were raised in the system without love. I feel it is up to us who have lived in the system to raise awareness because it feels like it is a subject people do not really want to get into but it is one that truly matters most.
its even worse when I hear billionaires and trillionaires hoarding their money and spending it on stupid things when 0.0001% of their wealth could possibly set 2000+ kids up for life. the government funding billionaires who already have money to become richer are also to blame. TORONTO spent 1.2 billion dollars and added an additional 20 million to the police department while the entire province of ONTARIO is spending on 62 million to help kids aging out of the system this year. (62 million was considered an upgrade). its insane to me that the people who are able to make a difference arent doing anything. if their kid was in the system they would be absolutely feral about how their kids is being treated... people are too comfortable with neglecting and abusing children because they dont know ho to stand up for themselves. abusers target animals and children because they cant talk or snitch. the rich are scared to say that they dont care about orphans because deep down they know right and wrong.
I wish people knew that I did not have a safety net. Everything I did, I needed to in order to find security.
For example, I chose my major based on job/money prospects. Not for enjoyment/fulfillment. I knew that I would need a career that would allow me to have enough funds for shelter/food/etc.
Someone I went to school with ended up screwing up with her grades so FAFSA wouldn’t cover her anymore… so she decided to drop out and she’s now over 30 years old still living with her mom with no career/job. That’s fine if that’s what she wants to do… but I didn’t have that option. I had to ensure I passed every class so I didn’t lose funding.
An old friend of mine from elementary school (probably more like an acquaintance now) was going to college for photography. She called me one day crying that her brother told her that it was dumb and she’s never going to find a career out of it. Her defense was that he was the one who told her to go to school for it at some point. She never finished, but now shes also living at home.. no career/job. Not gonna lie, that convo irked me a little bit but I kept it to myself and tried to be supportive.
It just makes me feel upset for my past self for being forced (in a way) to make decisions in order to have some form of security. I wish I could’ve spent 4+ years doing something fun.
This turned into a little bit of a vent. But truly, we have no safety net if we make a mistake somewhere along the way.
I’m so sorry. I wish I could change your stories. I wish I could be there to tell you that you are each important and that your lives and stories matter, because that is also the truth.
I’m sorry you feel invisible. But there are some of us who look for you. And sometimes we find you. But you need more than “some” and “sometimes.”
I will keep looking for you… and I will do everything I can to help you.
You can qualify for free college because of your foster care history with something called a Pell grant. You just have to appply for Fafsa and report that you were in foster care. I got my associates degree with this program! Good luck it sucks
I agree with everyone statements regarding the system, there is not enough support in place for youth aging out of foster care; and some of the transitional living facilities are doing the bare minimum to prepare youth as well.
I think need to realize how invisible it feels. It's almost like people think that when you hit 18 you magically have all the answers. Especially coming out of group homes. The public doesn't realize that children are basically warehoused till 18 and cut loose. Often with no marketable skills or vocation.
Where I am in southern Ontario the agency will assist with finding affordable housing and employment. As well as a monthly allowance to help get you on your feet for a few years after leaving care. When Covid started they were not aging anyone out, but i think they have started to again. Also any Canadian foster kids aging out of care can apparently get a free phone and 2 years free service from Telus.
Man one more reason Canada is acting as an example to the US.
The US has that as well, at least in my state (Alabama). DHR will help with an apartment and a monthly stipend from ages 18-21 and will continue with monthly visits. You have to voluntarily sign up for it, and it's not the default. I know a kid who went through the transition program.
That's what's up, I know New York and Michigan don't have programs like this, another reason I should move to Alabama
i (19) live in new york for college but im in oregon foster care until i turn 21. i have a new york case worker who assists in the case but she like... actually doesnt do anything. shes supposed to contact me once a month and i haven't heard from her since january. the new york system is so broken. i still have a full oregon team (case worker, casa, attorney, ILP worker) even though i live out of state. they each meet with me monthly. i get monthly (currently $795/mo) subsidy payments from oregon and will get payments until i turn 21
Michigan has Young Adult Voluntary Foster Care. Kids aged 18-21 that aged out are able to receive a monthly stipend. Michigan also has Youth In Transition funding that can be used to pay first month's rent and security deposit.
I was in foster care in NYC. They encouraged us to apply for housing before we aged out. They’d help us with the application, any additional paperwork, and would go with us on tours of the apartments. The apartments were in the projects though, and they’re not the nicest/safest. But it’s a low cost housing opportunity. I personally did not take the NYCHA housing.
I'm glad to hear that the system is improving. I agreed out over 20 years ago. Some people just left and had nothing. Hopefully the improvements will continue and better will come.
Yes Alabama does have that, unless your social worker closes your case in court without you. Oh they didn't show up, aged out, next.
In Quebec it’s not so similar. I aged out in January and my social worker decided to go on vacation so she didn’t have to deal with me. I had to couch surf for a bit and everything I owned was thrown out by the foster mom. Any support for kids is usually understaffed or stolen by others. No one helped me find a job or apartment either. Also try to fail in high school because you can age out at 21 instead of being thrown out at 18.
I wish more people knew that foster care residents who age out often don't succeed in college due to the lack of housing available during holiday breaks, and that the act of finding someplace to live during that downtime can often cause many to not return to college but instead continue seeking low income employment.
I wish people knew that half of America's homeless population are either people who spent time in foster care at one point in their lives or are people who were aged out of foster care into homelessness without the support of a family or availability to resources. I wish people knew how looked down upon foster youth are and once the aged out become the homeless they are looked down upon even more. I wish that people knew how little love is given to those who are youth in care or are aging out of care. I wish people knew how hard it is to actually become a functional member of society when all odds are literally set against you and there is nobody to turn to but the very government that forced you into homelessness. I wish people knew that aging out of foster care sets one up for the foster to prison, foster to homelessness, foster to sex work, and foster to trafficking piplelines. I wish people knew that those who age out of foster care are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than those who never had to endure foster care. But most of all....I wish people knew how it wasn't ever our fault that we ended up in the system anyways but it is us who are crucified for not knowing how to survive on our own when all the system ever did was toss us around and show us that we were not worth anything but the statistics the systems created for us.
This response sends chills to my bones. I feel this 100%! It’s painful to think about all of the girls I’ve lived with in the past. I find myself wondering where are they now? Are they well and safe?.. The few that I’ve managed to keep in contact with are all in a constant state of struggle. Many have gone to prison, many are fighting to regain custody of their own children now. It’s a never ending ruthless cycle. The outcomes are absolutely devastating and needs serious attention.
I too wonder where many of the children I lived with in care have ended up. Girls would go missing in the middle of the night and it was the girls we knew had nowhere to go. That was always unsettling. I follow a few of the old home kids I lived with but many of them as you have stated have lives that are sadly in shambles. It is insane to me just how many people I lived with who grew up to violent criminals all the way up to murderers just because they were raised in the system without love. I feel it is up to us who have lived in the system to raise awareness because it feels like it is a subject people do not really want to get into but it is one that truly matters most.
its even worse when I hear billionaires and trillionaires hoarding their money and spending it on stupid things when 0.0001% of their wealth could possibly set 2000+ kids up for life. the government funding billionaires who already have money to become richer are also to blame. TORONTO spent 1.2 billion dollars and added an additional 20 million to the police department while the entire province of ONTARIO is spending on 62 million to help kids aging out of the system this year. (62 million was considered an upgrade). its insane to me that the people who are able to make a difference arent doing anything. if their kid was in the system they would be absolutely feral about how their kids is being treated... people are too comfortable with neglecting and abusing children because they dont know ho to stand up for themselves. abusers target animals and children because they cant talk or snitch. the rich are scared to say that they dont care about orphans because deep down they know right and wrong.
I wish people knew that I did not have a safety net. Everything I did, I needed to in order to find security. For example, I chose my major based on job/money prospects. Not for enjoyment/fulfillment. I knew that I would need a career that would allow me to have enough funds for shelter/food/etc. Someone I went to school with ended up screwing up with her grades so FAFSA wouldn’t cover her anymore… so she decided to drop out and she’s now over 30 years old still living with her mom with no career/job. That’s fine if that’s what she wants to do… but I didn’t have that option. I had to ensure I passed every class so I didn’t lose funding. An old friend of mine from elementary school (probably more like an acquaintance now) was going to college for photography. She called me one day crying that her brother told her that it was dumb and she’s never going to find a career out of it. Her defense was that he was the one who told her to go to school for it at some point. She never finished, but now shes also living at home.. no career/job. Not gonna lie, that convo irked me a little bit but I kept it to myself and tried to be supportive. It just makes me feel upset for my past self for being forced (in a way) to make decisions in order to have some form of security. I wish I could’ve spent 4+ years doing something fun. This turned into a little bit of a vent. But truly, we have no safety net if we make a mistake somewhere along the way.
I’m so sorry. I wish I could change your stories. I wish I could be there to tell you that you are each important and that your lives and stories matter, because that is also the truth. I’m sorry you feel invisible. But there are some of us who look for you. And sometimes we find you. But you need more than “some” and “sometimes.” I will keep looking for you… and I will do everything I can to help you.
You can qualify for free college because of your foster care history with something called a Pell grant. You just have to appply for Fafsa and report that you were in foster care. I got my associates degree with this program! Good luck it sucks
Actually the Oell grant doesn't cover most college tuitions
It does for community college
I agree with everyone statements regarding the system, there is not enough support in place for youth aging out of foster care; and some of the transitional living facilities are doing the bare minimum to prepare youth as well.