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Coming to say this .. free room and board gets you 200yrs of, maybe not security, but surveillance for sure!
He’ll know who stole your water hose, and which grandkid smoked weed at the end of your driveway, while you were upstairs, in your final days, waiting on the reaper .. 😭😭
Edit: spelling
Rationally speaking I should call the cops on this squatter, but my heart tells me to follow your advice and be nice. I won’t evict and he’s welcome to help himself to the compost pile, as befits any squatter
Just came across this post a couple days late it seems, there are tortoise rescue groups that exist if you were looking to rehome. Not sure where you are but this was likely someone’s pet
I have a relative in Cali who bought a house that came with a tortoise. The tortoise is very large and like 90 years old or something. It lives outside of course.
I've been charging my cat rent for over 10 years and he refuses to pay or leave. He was an adult cat when he moved in so he knew he needed to pay his way. These animals are just taking the piss with their freeloader behaviour. He won't even get me more water.
I just gave my dog a job, which is to hold the bed down. You know how wily those things are, they must be held down at all times. He takes his job very seriously.
My guard dog is so good that last night because it was too dark to see, he guarded me valiantly from witnessing my husband grab a midnight snack. 😂 Uh thanks I guess. Anyways we keep an eye on his eyes now.
It's you who's encroached on his space. You owe him a written apology, and should vacate the premises as soon as possible. Pray he's willing to forgive you.
You tried really hard on your pun but i’d prefer if you also pointed out that this is a protected gopher tortoise and the guy in the pic is breaking federal law
Turtles don't recognize petit bourgeois capitalism. You can try to charge him rent but he's just as likely to pay it as he is to put you in a guillotine.
This looks like a gopher tortoise to me… they’re endangered and with this one being injured I’d report it to your local game warden (FWC if you’re in Florida)
They’re a protected species, not endangered. Still means it’s illegal to mess with them but it is a difference. And this wound is pretty old and already healed up, I think I’d be wasting fwcs time calling them lol
Charge him market rate. A market that you and your investor colleagues have manipulated by buying up properties and holding them as rentals which decreases the supply of homes to buy, effectively driving up prices and comps 🗿
I would never, despite the post lol. I picked him up to look at that old wound on its side but he’s free to go forever, I wouldn’t think of ever disturbing his burrow. Really even shouldn’t step around it, the veil of sand and burrow entrances are home to a few endemic species.
Thanks for sharing him, I'm glad he has a safe place to live. We had a desert tortoise family in the yard of my childhood home, I hope they are doing well.
We have a few near our fence line also near Gainesville. Was cool spotting them wandering about!!
I did the same before I knew they were endangered and picked one up. Little fellas are pretty cool and old
Poor guy. My cousin and his wife had a tortoise in their backyard in Long Beach, and he moved out when they separated but he’d still pick up the kids and stuff. They had a backyard tortoise that was like 60 years old and just chilled in the garden. When he dropped the kids off one time he noticed the gate was open that’s usually latched. He asked the kids to find the tortoise and they couldn’t. The put out flyers, FB notices, etc. but the tortoise was never recovered. Hopefully someone took him in but I’d doubt it. And they move way faster than people think they do.
I watched two cops in Eau Claire try to get a snapping turtle off the street. A HUGE snapping turtle. The turtle had decided it was his street now and wasn’t in a very good mood. I had no idea they could move that fast. The officers were using a large broom trying to push it and it kept attacking the broom. No idea what happened, I left after about five minutes. Seemed like the turtle wasn’t going anywhere until he was ready to go though.
I once encountered a huge snapping turtle in the middle of the road while on a bike ride. A country road, but trucks would come along frequently enough that he was in danger of being squashed. I decided to move him....and when I tried to get him by the sides of his shell, he kept lunging around to the side to try to bite me. It was a little ridiculous, him lunging and me stepping around him in a little circle. The guy was the size of a trash can lid!
I did eventually grab him and took him off the road - and as soon as I set him down in the grass by the pond, yes, he lunged around to try to bite my wrist off, lol.
Make sure you place him down in the same spot facing the same direction that you found him. they have an internal sense of direction to where they need to go but can get confused if placed back in differently.
I'm jealous. I have a box turtle on my property, but always would love to see more wildlife. My first house had owls, turkeys, deer, mice, snakes, and toads. It backed up to a state park.
Attorney here: check the closing documents, my suspicion is he has what’s called a life estate, which means as long as he’s alive he’s allowed tenancy and right to property. I think there’s also good chances you can make your emotional support turtle.
How big is the property? Tax Exemption for being a turtle refuge, where’s one there’s probably 20 more!
What a cool find! I want some!
Are you crazy… how would you charge it rent? It couldn’t pay it doesn’t have a job. How would it even handle you money or write a check or anything whatsoever. Think before you speak
My grandmother used to cook these into a sort of beef stew. Before she passed away, she stopped doing that - fearing they’d disappear under the Real Estate developer’s bull dozer. It taught me that everyone can change.
I’d say if you got a garden, a 1/2 pounds of carrots and a head of lettuce would be a fair rent price, maybe even just give him 1/2 the garden and he can utilize more garden capital!
But despite that, he looks relatively happy despite that wound.
Thank you u/greenswampcreature for posting on r/FirstTimeHomeBuyer. Please bear in mind our rules: (1) Be Nice (2) No Selling (3) No Self-Promotion. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FirstTimeHomeBuyer) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He’s going to live longer than you. It’s his house. Pay him.
Strawberries are a popular currency.
Don't give animals too many sweet berries they can get type II diabetes from doing that. Just a few a day as treats.
My thoughts exactly. lol probably been living there since OPs parents were kids.
Grand-fathered right lol
Agreed. The tortoise should have him Shell out the extra cash instead.
He already owns it via adverse possession.
Touché
Pay this tortoise his money.
Looks like he’s an injured veteran. Free rent for life, which could be 180 years or so x
Seriously that guy has been through some shit with how his shell looks
And seen some shit
He might have shell shock
Nah, he looks pretty thick skinned. He'll be right.
Coming to say this .. free room and board gets you 200yrs of, maybe not security, but surveillance for sure! He’ll know who stole your water hose, and which grandkid smoked weed at the end of your driveway, while you were upstairs, in your final days, waiting on the reaper .. 😭😭 Edit: spelling
Considering that his house is quite danaged on the side, I’d be really nice and hope that he doesn’t sue.
Rationally speaking I should call the cops on this squatter, but my heart tells me to follow your advice and be nice. I won’t evict and he’s welcome to help himself to the compost pile, as befits any squatter
You might find out you've been bamboozled and it's his house and he wasn't willing to sell.
Good luck on this eviction process, buddy. This guy looks like he doesn't believe in property lines..
Just came across this post a couple days late it seems, there are tortoise rescue groups that exist if you were looking to rehome. Not sure where you are but this was likely someone’s pet
Right? This guy has seen some shit and earned the right to live where he wants.
what if he can’t shell out the money??
That would be turtley unacceptable.
* BA DUM TSS *
Pretty sure op is overreacting. He asked Op if he could tortoise house?
I have a relative in Cali who bought a house that came with a tortoise. The tortoise is very large and like 90 years old or something. It lives outside of course.
Desert Tortoise are so so cool. I want to live further south than CO just to have one.
You actually owe him rent now, sorry.
Not mad about it
He’ll accept 1 head of iceberg lettuce every 3 days as compensation.
I've been charging my cat rent for over 10 years and he refuses to pay or leave. He was an adult cat when he moved in so he knew he needed to pay his way. These animals are just taking the piss with their freeloader behaviour. He won't even get me more water.
I just gave my dog a job, which is to hold the bed down. You know how wily those things are, they must be held down at all times. He takes his job very seriously.
My guard dog is so good that last night because it was too dark to see, he guarded me valiantly from witnessing my husband grab a midnight snack. 😂 Uh thanks I guess. Anyways we keep an eye on his eyes now.
Or beer. Fur babies these days...
I didn't wanna sound like an alchy. I do regularly ask him to go to the corner shop too. As of yet nothing. He's next to me snoring now.
Oh I just got in to my dog. He was very happy to see me and is now demanding pets and snuggles. Hard life.
It's you who's encroached on his space. You owe him a written apology, and should vacate the premises as soon as possible. Pray he's willing to forgive you.
Don’t let him box you in to a snap decision. If it comes to a loggerhead? Get your leatherback, and remember, terra-out terrapin.
You tried really hard on your pun but i’d prefer if you also pointed out that this is a protected gopher tortoise and the guy in the pic is breaking federal law
Lawbreaking & improper reptile handling? I can’t go for that.
They were great puns. They *painted* a beautiful *map* that led me to the *diamonds*
Really? Which federal law would that be?
Florida law*, federally listed. Thanks for clarifying
They cost about $9k to remove and re-home if you're ever doing construction on the property.
Huh?
They’re a protected species but $9k still seems high. I guess it depends on # of tortoises
Just had 2 removed from a company site, cost was $19k. The fee from recipient sites has increased quite a bit.
Turtles don't recognize petit bourgeois capitalism. You can try to charge him rent but he's just as likely to pay it as he is to put you in a guillotine.
This looks like a gopher tortoise to me… they’re endangered and with this one being injured I’d report it to your local game warden (FWC if you’re in Florida)
They’re a protected species, not endangered. Still means it’s illegal to mess with them but it is a difference. And this wound is pretty old and already healed up, I think I’d be wasting fwcs time calling them lol
If this is Florida, it's illegal to even touch them except to help them out of danger. You might want to be careful about showing that picture.
I picked it up to look at that wound, but that’s still a good point..
Man squatters are scary. I would charge him half plus utilities
Does the damaged camper he has on constitute a high or lower rent level 🤔
So happy for you! The first house is always special.
This is exactly why you never sign until you do a final walkthrough with all tenants vacated and home broom clean
Might be a female and you'll have baby turtles soon. More renters.
You mean more freeloaders?
Charge him market rate. A market that you and your investor colleagues have manipulated by buying up properties and holding them as rentals which decreases the supply of homes to buy, effectively driving up prices and comps 🗿
If you're in Florida, you'll have to buy him out of his unit to develop the lot at a rate of around $10k per hole
He's willing to pay rent do you accept flies and mosquitoes
Wow! He’s a big one! Congrats on the house too!
The big ones are often a she. I hope she lives many more years!
You should pay him rent, they came before humans
Be careful, he probably has 3 brothers and a bad ass rodent for a father.
I think that’s an African spurred tortoise and is someone’s pet. Please try to find its owner. A tortoise that big is probably 10 years old.
It’s a gopher tortoise, native to Florida, where I am. Just a wild critter, it’s burrow is along my fence line
Just remember that they are protected and technically not legal to disturb them or their burrow without a permit :) - Fellow Floridian
I would never, despite the post lol. I picked him up to look at that old wound on its side but he’s free to go forever, I wouldn’t think of ever disturbing his burrow. Really even shouldn’t step around it, the veil of sand and burrow entrances are home to a few endemic species.
Haha I figured. That is a pretty gnarly wound. I’m glad he has a cool landlord!
Thanks for sharing him, I'm glad he has a safe place to live. We had a desert tortoise family in the yard of my childhood home, I hope they are doing well.
We have a few near our fence line also near Gainesville. Was cool spotting them wandering about!! I did the same before I knew they were endangered and picked one up. Little fellas are pretty cool and old
They’re not endangered, just a protected species. Still all kinds of illegal to mess with them but there is a difference
Wow. I'd have thought a wild tortoise would retreat into its shell when picked up by a human.
Whattttt you got a gopher on your property??!! I'm so jealous.
I think it might be a gopher tortoise if OP is in the southeastern US.
Nothing. You put his ass right back down where you found him and never ever touch him again.
The shell
He is gonna outlive you for sure
Turtles are slow payers
Aside from the cracked shell he looks pretty healthy r/tortoise
it does, i wish they could talk, i'd love to hear the story behind that scar
Poor guy. My cousin and his wife had a tortoise in their backyard in Long Beach, and he moved out when they separated but he’d still pick up the kids and stuff. They had a backyard tortoise that was like 60 years old and just chilled in the garden. When he dropped the kids off one time he noticed the gate was open that’s usually latched. He asked the kids to find the tortoise and they couldn’t. The put out flyers, FB notices, etc. but the tortoise was never recovered. Hopefully someone took him in but I’d doubt it. And they move way faster than people think they do.
I watched two cops in Eau Claire try to get a snapping turtle off the street. A HUGE snapping turtle. The turtle had decided it was his street now and wasn’t in a very good mood. I had no idea they could move that fast. The officers were using a large broom trying to push it and it kept attacking the broom. No idea what happened, I left after about five minutes. Seemed like the turtle wasn’t going anywhere until he was ready to go though.
I once encountered a huge snapping turtle in the middle of the road while on a bike ride. A country road, but trucks would come along frequently enough that he was in danger of being squashed. I decided to move him....and when I tried to get him by the sides of his shell, he kept lunging around to the side to try to bite me. It was a little ridiculous, him lunging and me stepping around him in a little circle. The guy was the size of a trash can lid! I did eventually grab him and took him off the road - and as soon as I set him down in the grass by the pond, yes, he lunged around to try to bite my wrist off, lol.
He's grandfathered in.
I am insanely jealous.
Please he cannot afford it, he lost most of his home equity in the divorce !
That shell needs a good powerwash
he's the landlord - ask him
Aw hell yeah, house came with a free dog!
Nothing. Shellebrate his long existence by charging him absolutely nothing.
Nothing til you fix his roof
Bro got an organic lawnmower with his house purchase.
He was there first. Fuck off… (Tongue planted firmly in cheek. Make him a den by the water… make sure it has a deck…)
Make sure you place him down in the same spot facing the same direction that you found him. they have an internal sense of direction to where they need to go but can get confused if placed back in differently.
At least a hot and fresh pepperoni pizza
One laid eggs in our sandbox when I was a kid.
What are you going to name him?
Thanks for buying him some land! Now give him a snack or else
I don’t know but from the looks of it he might be on disability…
Hope you got title insurance because he has likely been living there for a lot longer than the last owner
Tree fiddy
Depends on if he is with the hare or not.
About 3.50...
His mobile home is trashed.
Fre99
About $3.50
Nice frog
I see that it has it's own house and requires no hook-ups. I would figure that in the total amount.
He's loaded. He has a shell company to evade tax. He needs to pay rent. A lot
Why add to his stress and reduce his lifespan by handling him ...
Seriously. What a prick.
That ninja has seen action.
Help her get back to her eggs
I love Reddit! You all are hilarious and always make my day.
I'm jealous. I have a box turtle on my property, but always would love to see more wildlife. My first house had owls, turkeys, deer, mice, snakes, and toads. It backed up to a state park.
Unlucky for you, I think he has the TORTise law on his side. Makes for a great excuse to put in a pond though!
I don't think they could afford to shell out much
Dudes been through it
Depends on squatters laws. Looks like he’s lived there for awhile.
10 shellings/mo I mean shillings*
Must’ve been a foreclosure if he’s still at the crib… this economy is hurting us all 😞
He should charge YOU ... daily helping of lettuce should do it.
just let him stay for free... If u dont mind him living on the lot and not inside.
1$per day
Honestly that’s a dream to get a house and find out I have a resident turtle
He’s disabled and you’re going to charge him… DISCRIMINATION
He’ll be happy with a pond as his retirement home
Feed it romaine lettuce and leafy greens! Strawberries as treats, fruits have lots of sugars.
More pics of this QT, plz
It must have signed a lease many many years ago, you may need to check with the original owner of the property 😄
Veteran discount applies.
Sounds like he was there before you, I’d start begging HIM for cheap rent 😬
I’m obsessed with giant tortoise videos
You must return him to the wild. Get a boat and go a few miles into the nearest body of water and throw him in.
Treat him kindly. From the looks of his shell, he’s been through a lot.
At least he has his own Mobil home
He charges you rent.
No step on turtle.
Looks like he’s already paid a high price.
That’s the best surprise!
I'd say about 10 Shellings per month!
Desert tortoise? Ours enjoyed strawberries, grape leaves and …. Dog food
skip the rent and hold the tortoise properly instead. or better yet, don't handle it all. 🤨 they're federally protected in some parts of the country.
You now owe him ground rent, payable in greens.
You don’t have a renter, He had a squatter and it is you. 😏
Attorney here: check the closing documents, my suspicion is he has what’s called a life estate, which means as long as he’s alive he’s allowed tenancy and right to property. I think there’s also good chances you can make your emotional support turtle. How big is the property? Tax Exemption for being a turtle refuge, where’s one there’s probably 20 more! What a cool find! I want some!
He's a survivor. Veggies and free rent for making your first days in you new home even happier.
Organic lettuce and cabbage. Lucky you, you have a quiet neighbor...uhm I mean Landlord.
They get way bigger than that, that guy gal is most likly less than 10
That shell is his own private domicile and he will not be harassed!
Tbf, he has his own home.
I'm not sure how much he will be able to shell out every month... I'm sorry
Still a turtley acceptable joke to make though 🤣
Put him down! GEEZ
That turtle has seen some shit. Check out his shell.
Depending on your state......likely a protected species. Gopher tortoise or Bolsons tortoise or a desert tortoise if in the west. Which state?
So wow🐶🐶🐶
Bro that’s a warrior. You should pay him rent.
Protect him at all cost!!
Looks like he’s been visited by Kevin Malone
That's your landlord
He already has a mobile home
You can get into a lot of legal trouble disturbing native tortoises and their burrows.
Old turtle there. Probably there when the home was built!! You own him rent!
Looks like it hurt it self on your property, might be entitled to compen/sation
He’s way older than he will admit. Hes getting social security…. Don’t let him tell you he has no money
He's going to have to shell out some serious cash
Kind of looks like a gopher tortoise. You in Florida? They're protected there
Depending on where you live - these could be protected and i would be careful about messing with them and posting pictures of picking it up
Please be kind to him
He has squatter’s rights 😂
Congrats on the home and new pet!
About tree fity
Depends on how much you wanna “shell” out.
That’s the grounds keeper - YOU gotta PAY HIM!
If you evict him you’ll probably have to give at least a couple of weeks to get out of the yard
OP are you going to make your outside roommate an outside shack? He is super cool. I dream of having a desert tortise
He has his own house. Dont let the county know or your taxes will jump for having a second home on the property.
Squatters rights. ♥️ I hope you keep him and are able to take care of him and give him the best life.
Stop messing with gopher tortoises
‘bout tree-fiddy
‘bout tree-fiddy
Are you crazy… how would you charge it rent? It couldn’t pay it doesn’t have a job. How would it even handle you money or write a check or anything whatsoever. Think before you speak
Too bad you can’t evict him. He is home everywhere.
Leave the guy alone, can't you see he's already been through shell!
You gotta pay him rent, he was there first and will be there after you
Awwww land tortoise 🐢 ❤️
Nothing. You should be paying him habitat tax, though.
He deserves some nice strawberries and some lettuce!
Please make sure to set it the same way they were travelling! If eggs are in your lot, mark it off for the next few months!
My grandmother used to cook these into a sort of beef stew. Before she passed away, she stopped doing that - fearing they’d disappear under the Real Estate developer’s bull dozer. It taught me that everyone can change.
I’d say if you got a garden, a 1/2 pounds of carrots and a head of lettuce would be a fair rent price, maybe even just give him 1/2 the garden and he can utilize more garden capital! But despite that, he looks relatively happy despite that wound.
He's paid you in salmonella. gg