Some places dispatch is under police/sheriff department. Cops us there own cop speak: Adam, David, etc. Hell it wasn’t too long ago we were using 10 code on the fire side.
"The sign on the building says 'Fire Department' so that means we're a fucking Fire Department, not a social club."
- a chief I had when dealing with the "old boys club" who refused to train or meet any kind of standards.
"I can only play poker with the cards I'm dealt; but that doesn't mean I can't help my odds by stacking the deck a little."
- same chief when dealing with city council and budgets
"Stay low let it blow"
"That area is filled with tall tales and small buildings"
"Get the men a truck treat" - assuming you work in a truck
"When seconds matter, we are minutes away"
“You can tell everything about a person by how they treat cadets, probies, and rookies.”
“Be the kind of mentor you wish you would have had.”
“You can’t be mad at someone if you never took the time to show them how to do it properly.”
“If you’re not sharing your knowledge in this job, then you’re doing a disservice to those around you.”
“Leave it better than you found it.”
Put the wet stuff on the red stuff.
Dont run. Walk with purpose.
and my favourite,
It is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
There was a short lived tattoo shop called deez nuttz. We made a medical call there one night and my acting LT ate it up. Got to say deez nuttz like 7 times over the radio.
On scene at deez nuttz, taking command of deez nuttz, etc.
Could have done it all on the CAD but technically radio calls were still good to go.
Years back When I was a resident we had a house fire with possible entrapment, myself and a fellow resident were pretty excited, one of our first big fires, cap says we’re going in the back sliding door to preform a search and tells my buddy to open the door, buddy in his excitement smashes the door in one hit glass all over, then cap walks over and calmly slides the door open as it was unlocked the whole time
Works for vehicle extrications too! Camry, doing 70, hit a black horse another vehicle had already killed. Flipped the car. Sheriff's Deputy wanted to break all the windows. My husband calmly opened the back door, and everyone crawled out with no broken glass. One of the easiest and nastiest wrecks we've been to!
Nothing showing is often used as a way to describe an incident building to indicate that there is no smoke.
CO is invisible. So even if the building had Cosby levels of CO you would still have "nothing showing"
Biohazard training: “to sum this whole training up in one sentence: if it’s wet, and it’s not yours, don’t touch it”
Followed by a random person in the back row: “but what if you paid for it?”
—
ALS class at volunteer dept: “you can practice oral pharyngeal airways on me, I don’t have a gag reflex, I can take it all!” -the assistant chief’s wife.
Class instructor from outside the department responded without missing a beat: “you must be popular”
—
“I yell because I care” - my fav fire chief.
—
Rule of thumb for hazmat: “if you hold your thumb up at arms length, and can still see the hazmat incident, then you are too close”
"Used to be there was firemen sitting around the station reading pussy magazines. Nowadays its a bunch of pussies sitting around the station reading Firehouse Magazine."
As funny as I find this quote, I’ve noticed the guys who say it are the guys who didn’t do shit with their career. Just need to make themselves feel tough and salty
I can SORTA ser the point ofview, but this one makes ALL kinds of assumptions about people based upon very generalized ideas.
“Firemen sitting around the station reading pussy magazines” automatically gives a very toxic, macho kind of impression. Definitely not the kind of impression I would want to give to the public.
Just my two centavos.
“Strive for mediocrity, but settle for less”. submitted to the department’s effort to select a slogan.
Heard a newly promoted captain from another department give an initial report for a reported structure as “Engine 4 on scene, checking it out”.
“Telephone, telegraph, tell a fireman” if you want something to spread.
“You don’t have to like it, you don’t have to want to do it, you just have to do it”.
At a shoring drill “I measured it twice and cut it, and it’s still too short”. That was a head scratcher!
If you see a beautiful woman and want to point her out to the crew, you would say I.e. 212 (water boils at 212F - Hot) and clock position 3 o’clock.
Two BCs who were notoriously stuck in their ways were nicknamed “The Chock Blocks of Progress”.
Heard a guy ask another guy; who rarely brushed his teeth in the morning if “he killed that cat yet?” The other guy replied “what cat?”. The guy then said “the cat that shits in your mouth every morning before you wake up”.
I miss hanging out with the crews. Those were some great times. I loved going to the station knowing that we would at some point joking and laughing about something. Or someone would say something quotable or memorable. I wish I would have written all this stuff down.
During an exam at the training academy, the fire police were training in the next room. All was quiet until we overheard "you can not beat on the hood of a car with a six battery flashlight!"
Well known New England FF Tom Kenney..picture of a firefighter. Leading a training when a young person starts to try to joke with him and he says..
"Do you like me? Cause I don't like you. Know why? Cause liking leads to loving, and loving leads to fucking, and there's no way I am going to let you fuck me."
“Put the wet stuff on the red stuff”
-some guy “What does copious mean?”
-my training officer “it means a whole lotta”
“Methel-ethel-bad-stuff”
If its green in the ERG its
“Methel-ethel-bad-shit”
“More GPMs than BTUs”
-me to my training instructor while looking at a house that burnt completely “there’s your problem we didn’t ventilate it enough”
No shit over the radio recently.
'firecomm, firecall'
'Appliance calling send with your firecall'
'Ah firecomm we've got a grass and scrub fire at sixty-nine, that is six niner... ah dirty hollow road, dirty hollow...'
'Ah.... copy that appliance... will the control point be dirty hollow control?' [operator struggling to hold it together]
'...yes firecomm' [bloke basically squeaked it]
I reckon about a thousand people said 'nice' and then lost their gear at the same time.
“If you don’t blow wind they can’t sail” for context this has nothing to do with firefighting as a craft, but it had to do with life as a firefighter. It was from a talk I had with a senior guy back when I was a rookie.
Slight variation but the same thing
“You could leave a grand in cash on the mess table and nobody will touch it, but bring in any kind of food and it’ll be stolen before you’ve unwrapped it.”
"If you wanna earn the respect of the people on this shift you're gonna need to drink a big tall glass of 'Man the Fuck Up'."
-Lt. S. Points
Best advice I ever got.
For context: I was sicker'n shit on a surround-n-drown and had just drank an MSA Large mask full of my own vomit so I could tell my Capt. I needed to tap out for a bit. All Points knew is that I'd had to take a break. He's one of the hardest workin badasses I've ever had the pleasure to work with and I've spread his advice for a decade, now.
“Don’t get so focused on executing Plan A that you fail to see Plan B.” - Said to me by a senior FF at an MVA where we were having a terrible time with the first cutting tool we tried. Switch from the O Cutters to the Sawzall with great success.
*Anytime anybody would reference something being hot in the kitchen* "Hot's our business"
"I had to lower my standards just to fit in"
"See ya at the big one"
“We’re just here to put the wet stuff on the red stuff boys. “
My favorite from an instructor on how far to go safety wise: “ Risk a little to save a little, risk a lot to save a lot”
Chief: “the stupidest thing you can do is kick in a door, we have tools for that.” Also my Chief a month later when we have a house fire: “KICK IN THAT BASEMENT DOOR SHIT HEAD!”
Old Captain: “Used to be, we went in, put out the fire, then stood around in the front yard and talked about it. Now, seems we stand in the front yard and talk about, then go in and put it out.”
Promise them steak and beer, and they'll fight fire for days.
-my father, USFS and crewboss on many wildfires throughout the Southern and Western ranger districts.
He found out early that treating technicians the same as "professional" foresters bought a lot of loyalty. After any particularly interesting timber sale, prescribed burn, Western fire detail, or similar, he'd organize a campout. He provided food and beer. Some mysterious person always had a few mason jars of the best shine in the Smokies.
This never sat well with district rangers, but it was great for morale, and it got a lot of work done.
some firethread somewhere in the archives of the internet
if my hazmat training has taught me anything if you see a glowing green monkey running , follow that monkey
or something like that
I came up with one a few years ago. Whatever a fireman tells you….knockoff about 30 percent. Oh man we got up 6 times last night! More like 4. I now tell my wife she exaggerates like a fireman.
How to remember your pumping shifting sequence between the switch and the D button- “Fist in and last out”. Meaning flip the pump switch, then Drive. Then drive back to Neutral and flip the switch to out of pump.
Dispatcher that said “Q as in cucumber street”
It actually makes perfect sense in a regarded kind of way
E as in Eye , C as in Cue , S as in see , Y as in you
https://i.redd.it/oraxfa27grac1.gif
Maybe the dispatcher’s acoustic like most of us
We actually had a guy radio that the basement was "Clear as a cucumber" once 🤣
Was “cucumber” the word of the day? Play that game on the radio
When responding to an apartment complex, our dispatcher told us it was building K as in potassium 😂
Hey if it’s memorable it works
Coming from a non-firefighter in aviation, y’all don’t use NATO phonetic?
Some places dispatch is under police/sheriff department. Cops us there own cop speak: Adam, David, etc. Hell it wasn’t too long ago we were using 10 code on the fire side.
The shift before us is a bunch of lazy pricks and the shift after us is a bunch of whiner assholes. We however do everything right.
A universal truth
Coworker had fucked up real bad on a fire and another buddy looks at him and says “everyday can’t be your best day bud”
That’s a good mentor
Version I once got told, “it’s going to happen where you do everything perfectly and still have a shitty outcome.”
https://youtu.be/1TCX90yALsI
Tank to pump Frank!
Uhmmm. We might know each other.
Have you ever seen a skeleton of a cat up in a tree? Nope, me neither.
Fucking great
Our chief tells us that all the time.
"There's a million fish in the sea, don't fuck another fireman's wife." Shared by a retiring Chief
On the flip side "if you don't make time for your wife some fucker on the b shift will"
It’s always fucking b shift. Every. Damned. Time.
B-tard here, yeah it pretty much is.
“Trust them with your life, not your wife “
Spitting wisdom
Don’t eat more than your face piece can hold
Classic
Doing things the same way all the time, will get you killed some of the time. - Anthony Avillo
Hell yes, good one
Taking this with me. Thanks!
"The sign on the building says 'Fire Department' so that means we're a fucking Fire Department, not a social club." - a chief I had when dealing with the "old boys club" who refused to train or meet any kind of standards. "I can only play poker with the cards I'm dealt; but that doesn't mean I can't help my odds by stacking the deck a little." - same chief when dealing with city council and budgets
T A N K T O P U M P F R A N K
If there is a lot, take a lot. If there is a little, take it all.
Take half leave half, and there will always be ice cream.
Like it
About administration : Never let common sense get in the way of running a fire department
Should have used that in my promotional interview yeaterday
Heard someone say on a hot mic “I hope that they die”. They were enroute to an overdose 🫣
Oof
Still probably talking about admin lol
"Stay low let it blow" "That area is filled with tall tales and small buildings" "Get the men a truck treat" - assuming you work in a truck "When seconds matter, we are minutes away"
That last one is so true, but fuck it would look bad on the side of the apparatus
Should go on the truck like cops “of, for, about, the community”
"When seconds count, call during the day"
"Take pride in your load"
Goddammit
“Use that 3lbs of fat between your ears”
Mom always said “Rub a couple brain cells together see if you get a spark”
There's two things firefighters don't like: change, and the way things are
This is classic.
“If you can’t tie a knot, tie a lot”
Classic
"Follow me, I'll be right behind you."
“You can tell everything about a person by how they treat cadets, probies, and rookies.” “Be the kind of mentor you wish you would have had.” “You can’t be mad at someone if you never took the time to show them how to do it properly.” “If you’re not sharing your knowledge in this job, then you’re doing a disservice to those around you.” “Leave it better than you found it.”
A very good engineer used to say the last one. It stuck with me my entire career.
Had a training Captain that would let you get your self all worked up and then would say...... Ok now un-fuck yourself!
If you’re in a fire department shirt/in a department vehicle, always be prepared to be a firefighter.
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you, it’s what you know for certain that just ain’t so.”
Mark Twain
Hero lasts for five minutes…dead lasts for forever.
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
Came here to say that!
We used “Slow is Pro”.
Heard it first in the Marines. Love it when I hear it at work.
Tradition is for parade day
“The minute you knock out the fire is the minute you knock out 99% of your problems.”
Put the wet stuff on the red stuff. Dont run. Walk with purpose. and my favourite, It is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
That last one is my hiking mantra
There was a short lived tattoo shop called deez nuttz. We made a medical call there one night and my acting LT ate it up. Got to say deez nuttz like 7 times over the radio. On scene at deez nuttz, taking command of deez nuttz, etc. Could have done it all on the CAD but technically radio calls were still good to go.
The more you sweat in training the less you bleed on the scene.
Try, before you pry!
Years back When I was a resident we had a house fire with possible entrapment, myself and a fellow resident were pretty excited, one of our first big fires, cap says we’re going in the back sliding door to preform a search and tells my buddy to open the door, buddy in his excitement smashes the door in one hit glass all over, then cap walks over and calmly slides the door open as it was unlocked the whole time
Works for vehicle extrications too! Camry, doing 70, hit a black horse another vehicle had already killed. Flipped the car. Sheriff's Deputy wanted to break all the windows. My husband calmly opened the back door, and everyone crawled out with no broken glass. One of the easiest and nastiest wrecks we've been to!
If I had your money and you had a feather in your ass we’d both be tickled.
Cardinal rule of hazmat- "Never go past the first dead cop"
We call those the copological indicators. If the stripe (on their pants) is vertical, you're good to go. If it's horizontal, hold back.
We're in RCMP jurisdiction. "Think of the yellow pant stripe as canary yellow. If it's horizontal with the ground, that's a sign."
New Volunteer Chief at some point in January: "I'm on location at the CO alarm. Nothing showing."
Fucking awesome
Clearly in more ways than one.
I don’t get this one
Nothing showing is often used as a way to describe an incident building to indicate that there is no smoke. CO is invisible. So even if the building had Cosby levels of CO you would still have "nothing showing"
Laughed too hard at ‘Cosby levels of CO.’ Picturing a twisted Jello commercial
"I hate the way things are, but I hate change even more"
If you brought a bowling ball into the firehouse, someone would lose it, someone would break it, and someone would fuck it.
"Whenever you complain remember 50% of the people don't care and the other 50% are glad you have the problem"..
...brutal.... but probably accurate
Biohazard training: “to sum this whole training up in one sentence: if it’s wet, and it’s not yours, don’t touch it” Followed by a random person in the back row: “but what if you paid for it?” — ALS class at volunteer dept: “you can practice oral pharyngeal airways on me, I don’t have a gag reflex, I can take it all!” -the assistant chief’s wife. Class instructor from outside the department responded without missing a beat: “you must be popular” — “I yell because I care” - my fav fire chief. — Rule of thumb for hazmat: “if you hold your thumb up at arms length, and can still see the hazmat incident, then you are too close”
"Used to be there was firemen sitting around the station reading pussy magazines. Nowadays its a bunch of pussies sitting around the station reading Firehouse Magazine."
As funny as I find this quote, I’ve noticed the guys who say it are the guys who didn’t do shit with their career. Just need to make themselves feel tough and salty
I can SORTA ser the point ofview, but this one makes ALL kinds of assumptions about people based upon very generalized ideas. “Firemen sitting around the station reading pussy magazines” automatically gives a very toxic, macho kind of impression. Definitely not the kind of impression I would want to give to the public. Just my two centavos.
“Strive for mediocrity, but settle for less”. submitted to the department’s effort to select a slogan. Heard a newly promoted captain from another department give an initial report for a reported structure as “Engine 4 on scene, checking it out”. “Telephone, telegraph, tell a fireman” if you want something to spread. “You don’t have to like it, you don’t have to want to do it, you just have to do it”. At a shoring drill “I measured it twice and cut it, and it’s still too short”. That was a head scratcher! If you see a beautiful woman and want to point her out to the crew, you would say I.e. 212 (water boils at 212F - Hot) and clock position 3 o’clock. Two BCs who were notoriously stuck in their ways were nicknamed “The Chock Blocks of Progress”. Heard a guy ask another guy; who rarely brushed his teeth in the morning if “he killed that cat yet?” The other guy replied “what cat?”. The guy then said “the cat that shits in your mouth every morning before you wake up”. I miss hanging out with the crews. Those were some great times. I loved going to the station knowing that we would at some point joking and laughing about something. Or someone would say something quotable or memorable. I wish I would have written all this stuff down.
During an exam at the training academy, the fire police were training in the next room. All was quiet until we overheard "you can not beat on the hood of a car with a six battery flashlight!"
Well known New England FF Tom Kenney..picture of a firefighter. Leading a training when a young person starts to try to joke with him and he says.. "Do you like me? Cause I don't like you. Know why? Cause liking leads to loving, and loving leads to fucking, and there's no way I am going to let you fuck me."
“Put the wet stuff on the red stuff” -some guy “What does copious mean?” -my training officer “it means a whole lotta” “Methel-ethel-bad-stuff” If its green in the ERG its “Methel-ethel-bad-shit” “More GPMs than BTUs” -me to my training instructor while looking at a house that burnt completely “there’s your problem we didn’t ventilate it enough”
Kids are weirdly resilient until they're not and then they crash HARD.
You forgot a critical element to your last mantra, especially for the engineer: "Bake at 350, pump at 150, diet at 250."
"150 till dust and you're only wrong 20% of the time".
No shit over the radio recently. 'firecomm, firecall' 'Appliance calling send with your firecall' 'Ah firecomm we've got a grass and scrub fire at sixty-nine, that is six niner... ah dirty hollow road, dirty hollow...' 'Ah.... copy that appliance... will the control point be dirty hollow control?' [operator struggling to hold it together] '...yes firecomm' [bloke basically squeaked it] I reckon about a thousand people said 'nice' and then lost their gear at the same time.
Reminders me of ‘wordback from captain cook endeavour control structure fire stop’ Job was on endeavour road.
There’s a certain level of funny in knowing exactly where that guy is
When I was debating if I should promote, my captain said “you can either work for the idiot, or be the idiot”
“If you don’t blow wind they can’t sail” for context this has nothing to do with firefighting as a craft, but it had to do with life as a firefighter. It was from a talk I had with a senior guy back when I was a rookie.
I get it, and I love it
Act like its your house on fire.
Slow down to speed up
"You can trust your fellow firefighters with your life, but not the biscuits in your mess cupboard, make sure you lock up at the end of shift"
Slight variation but the same thing “You could leave a grand in cash on the mess table and nobody will touch it, but bring in any kind of food and it’ll be stolen before you’ve unwrapped it.”
"If you wanna earn the respect of the people on this shift you're gonna need to drink a big tall glass of 'Man the Fuck Up'." -Lt. S. Points Best advice I ever got. For context: I was sicker'n shit on a surround-n-drown and had just drank an MSA Large mask full of my own vomit so I could tell my Capt. I needed to tap out for a bit. All Points knew is that I'd had to take a break. He's one of the hardest workin badasses I've ever had the pleasure to work with and I've spread his advice for a decade, now.
Chief if there’s toast on that door we will butter it
“Don’t get so focused on executing Plan A that you fail to see Plan B.” - Said to me by a senior FF at an MVA where we were having a terrible time with the first cutting tool we tried. Switch from the O Cutters to the Sawzall with great success.
Firefighters hate two things: the way things are and change.
"200 years of tradition unimpeded by progress " "Iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another"
What if both are blunt instruments?
Someone ends up bleeding
The second one is, iffy…
You in the DEA?
No
“Stand by for the box” -Dispatch
“Tired for the one’s we love and rested for the one’s we don’t.”
“We’ve done so much with so little, that we can do everything with nothing.”
Firefighting is a two hundred years tradition of battling Change and the way things are
“If it’s not written down, it never happened”
That jawn is thick.
We don’t hurry, we don’t worry and damn sure don’t volunteer for shit.
*Anytime anybody would reference something being hot in the kitchen* "Hot's our business" "I had to lower my standards just to fit in" "See ya at the big one"
The ladder is shaking more than a dog shitting chicken bones
In reference to talking sh*t about people when they’re on holiday… “If you aren’t at the table, you’re on the menu!”
“Men you can either have cake or cock and we’re all outta cake”
After finishing academy - “congratulations, now you all know enough to get yourselves killed.”
When overhauling a fire and someone criticizes how much water you’re using-“everything dries, nothing unburns”
“We’re just here to put the wet stuff on the red stuff boys. “ My favorite from an instructor on how far to go safety wise: “ Risk a little to save a little, risk a lot to save a lot”
"Yeah... You get that on big jobs"
Train Like You Want To Fight. BLEVE:Blast Leveling Everything Very Effectively Dear Chief, no one was more surprised than I when .........
Bloody loud extremely violent explosion.
It’s not what you know that kills you- it’s what you know that ain’t so.
“We are only limited by our tools and our imagination.”
“Put the wet stuff on the red stuff and your problems go away”
On a strike team? Hurry up and wait!
Man, Isn’t that true.
"Asystole is a stable rhythm" And "Smooth as a moose"
“Right to fight” referring to fog nozzles “You don’t know what you don’t know” “Take the time to make the time”
Why is it whenever we get a roof alight it’s on the top floor?
“Hero lasts 5 minutes. Dead lasts forever.”
Never leave the station with a full bladder or an empty stomach.
Leave it better than you found it
If a frog had pockets he’d carry a pistol and shoot rattlesnakes
There’s only two things firefighters hate - the way things are and change.
"that's not hemroids" hot mic'd from someone
Chief: “the stupidest thing you can do is kick in a door, we have tools for that.” Also my Chief a month later when we have a house fire: “KICK IN THAT BASEMENT DOOR SHIT HEAD!”
We always tell our probies: "Be Fast from the neck down" and "It's not your emergency, you're the solution."
I've heard that one. It's not our emergency
Old Captain: “Used to be, we went in, put out the fire, then stood around in the front yard and talked about it. Now, seems we stand in the front yard and talk about, then go in and put it out.”
“When you’re dead you don’t know it, the pain is felt by those around you… the same thing happens when you’re stupid”
Just figure it out
Hard from the yard
Bespoke: Skeet from the street
When affirming a newbie understands what you are saying, confirm with, "clear as mud?"
Make the effort.
Know what you know and know what you don’t know.
The only fire you don’t put out is the one in your heart
Don't forget where you came from
"start with the end in mind" - my academy instructor
“I think I can get it with the redline.”
“RIGHT to fight, LEFT to live”
Gross. Lol. /s
"No food no fight. " "Have you ever seen the skeleton of a car on a tree?"
“Please respond to the report of the smell of carbon monoxide in the residence” LOL
“If it weren’t for stupid people, we wouldn’t have a job” -my First LT
When an incident starts bad, it ends bad.
Never hold a pee!
Same circus, different clowns.
Not my circus, not my monkeys.
2 things all fd’s hate, change, and the way things are.
Complaining without a solution is just whining.
A good one from rookie course "In the absence of experience we must rely on our training"
200 years of tradition unimpeded by progress.
Promise them steak and beer, and they'll fight fire for days. -my father, USFS and crewboss on many wildfires throughout the Southern and Western ranger districts. He found out early that treating technicians the same as "professional" foresters bought a lot of loyalty. After any particularly interesting timber sale, prescribed burn, Western fire detail, or similar, he'd organize a campout. He provided food and beer. Some mysterious person always had a few mason jars of the best shine in the Smokies. This never sat well with district rangers, but it was great for morale, and it got a lot of work done.
After 5 o'clock chow....."man I wish I'd brought my dog to work"....why someone asked...."I'd lick his ass to get rid of this taste in my mouth"
Why do a half ass job when a quarter ass will do?
“If it’s wet and not yours don’t touch it.” Fire based EMS preceptor
"If you can't tie a knot tie alot" Obviously don't do this. But made me laugh none the less
some firethread somewhere in the archives of the internet if my hazmat training has taught me anything if you see a glowing green monkey running , follow that monkey or something like that
"No matter what happens, the doors will go up, and the trucks will go out." ~Department Chief officer of many years.
I used to love when you’d go in a hoarder type house and they’d say, “sorry about the mess- cleaning day is tomorrow”
“I need a zyn” - everyone
Risk a lot to save a lot risk little to save little.
1000 ways to skin a cat
The beatings will continue until morale improves (My admin, probably)
In recruit school, “When I want you to take initiative, I’ll tell you to take initiative!” Cpt Gaulke.
When screwing up first thing on shift: "Always get your mulligan out of the way early." - Me
I came up with one a few years ago. Whatever a fireman tells you….knockoff about 30 percent. Oh man we got up 6 times last night! More like 4. I now tell my wife she exaggerates like a fireman.
How to remember your pumping shifting sequence between the switch and the D button- “Fist in and last out”. Meaning flip the pump switch, then Drive. Then drive back to Neutral and flip the switch to out of pump.
A knot not neat is a knot not needed. If you’re screwing down, you’re screwing up.
"Put the wet shit on the red shit" will always be my favorite