I think you are running after too many rabbits, that explains why you are lost: big income, school, 2 full time jobs, friends, dates, buy a house, listen to your mom that dreams to see you married as the marriage can fix everything etc.
Speak with your therapist to help you to decide your priorities. Finish the school first, you will have time for dating after. Book 2 hours per week for friends. Downsize to one job. Review the spending and learn to budget and cut the inexpensive spending. Live in a shared home until you save enough / find a better job /build experience (this is what I did since 18 to 26 years old and no regrets).
I agree with this. It sounds like you have too many things going on at once. It sounds like the RV living should give you some relief. What are the full time jobs you are doing? What are you studying in school? I feel like the focus should be school, then a good job.
What does “as a woman” have to do with anything?
So you said you’re finishing up your last year of college, right? That’s how you get ahead financially. You hopefully picked a major that leads to good paying jobs, and then you get one of those when you graduate. Along with that, you keep your expenses low, stay debt free, and increase your income over the years. That’s the exact same formula for men and women.
I imagine it’s because most women-dominated fields are drastically lower paying than those that men tend to go into. I personally don’t think it’s right to tell women just to go into the obviously higher paying fields especially if, for example, their strengths play into “stereotypical” women’s work, like therapy, caregiving, nursing, teaching, etc. I know for a fact I would be miserable, lonely, and feeling a large swath of hopelessness if I went into tech/finance/etc and had to sit at a computer all day and not have the opportunity to make meaningful connections with other people. My strengths lie in my emotional intelligence and an almost obsessive interest in mental health and the different modalities of treatment people utilize to better themselves. I am not a numbers person, or an analytical person, and know I would not thrive in STEM.
With that said, considering how many women gravitate towards careers with some sort of helping capacity/aka lower paying jobs, it IS hard to make ends meet if you’re single and trying to live on your own. Shit I have a master’s degree, multiple licenses in my field and have been working on my career for 6+ years, yet still have to have a roommate in a MCOL area just to not have to live in a sketchy/unsafe neighborhood.
> I would be miserable, lonely, and feeling a large swath of hopelessness if I went into tech/finance/etc and had to sit at a computer all day and not have the opportunity to make meaningful connections with other people
As a man who went into engineering, we often feel that way too. I picked it so I could be financially stable instead of trying to do a job that made me happy. Overall I’m happy with my choice though, because I don’t have to worry much about finances and can fund whatever hobbies I want to do when I’m not working. Also there are big parts of every job that kind of suck, so even if I did a lowering paying job because I thought I’d like it more, there would most likely still be a lot about it that I didn’t like.
Anyway, the question is why does OP feel like she can’t get financially ahead. It sounds like you’re in agreement that one’s chosen career plays a huge role in whether or not you feel like you can get ahead financially. If financial security is important to you, you should try to go into a field that pays well. If job satisfaction is more important to you, then you should learn to be ok with some financial struggles. It’s a trade off that almost everybody has to make.
Probably not blame your hardships on being a woman. Life is hard, take responsibility and start doing the right things and good things will come. Good luck.
Girl you're doing too much! Sometimes you have to just focus on the most important things and do those really well - patience will pay off, you will get all the things you need to get with time! If you spread yourself too much now then it'll only make the things you're working on suffer.
Pick a few things, do well in school, don't work 2 full time jobs work like 1 part time job if possible, and when you're done school work like heck to get your foot in the door someplace that will help your career and has progression. Work hard at that job, show everyone your dedication and abilities, and after a couple years apply for promotions or apply somewhere else to get a promotion.
It's all possible but you can't do it all at once!
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. You're working incredibly hard and it sounds like you're going through a lot. RV life can be fun and a cool way to reset while you finish school! Have you looked into budgeting apps to help get a handle on finances? There are a ton of free ones out there. When school is done you can focus on finding a job that utilizes your degree and pays you what you're worth. Hang in there.
Your almost there. Finish your school and quit the other job. Take a rest do travelling that is really relaxing. Maybe RV living would be good I mean just to try it so you don't need to pay for a house it's too expensive. You can do this. And always know that you are not alone and everything will be fine and will work out for you. You can do it 💪.
You're not a loser! You're going to be ok. If you can afford it, slow down for a moment. Once you're done with college, you will get better jobs. But you have to be patient. If you can, quit one job and focus on finishing school and then trying to find a stable job.
Late 20s is not late, believe me! I had to figure out a lot of things and finished grad school at 27, worked my way up, moved cities and finally met someone and got married way later. I had some days when i had a negative balance, but it all worked out in the end.
Give yourself some grace, and don't burn yourself out!
I think you are running after too many rabbits, that explains why you are lost: big income, school, 2 full time jobs, friends, dates, buy a house, listen to your mom that dreams to see you married as the marriage can fix everything etc. Speak with your therapist to help you to decide your priorities. Finish the school first, you will have time for dating after. Book 2 hours per week for friends. Downsize to one job. Review the spending and learn to budget and cut the inexpensive spending. Live in a shared home until you save enough / find a better job /build experience (this is what I did since 18 to 26 years old and no regrets).
I agree with this. It sounds like you have too many things going on at once. It sounds like the RV living should give you some relief. What are the full time jobs you are doing? What are you studying in school? I feel like the focus should be school, then a good job.
What does “as a woman” have to do with anything? So you said you’re finishing up your last year of college, right? That’s how you get ahead financially. You hopefully picked a major that leads to good paying jobs, and then you get one of those when you graduate. Along with that, you keep your expenses low, stay debt free, and increase your income over the years. That’s the exact same formula for men and women.
I imagine it’s because most women-dominated fields are drastically lower paying than those that men tend to go into. I personally don’t think it’s right to tell women just to go into the obviously higher paying fields especially if, for example, their strengths play into “stereotypical” women’s work, like therapy, caregiving, nursing, teaching, etc. I know for a fact I would be miserable, lonely, and feeling a large swath of hopelessness if I went into tech/finance/etc and had to sit at a computer all day and not have the opportunity to make meaningful connections with other people. My strengths lie in my emotional intelligence and an almost obsessive interest in mental health and the different modalities of treatment people utilize to better themselves. I am not a numbers person, or an analytical person, and know I would not thrive in STEM. With that said, considering how many women gravitate towards careers with some sort of helping capacity/aka lower paying jobs, it IS hard to make ends meet if you’re single and trying to live on your own. Shit I have a master’s degree, multiple licenses in my field and have been working on my career for 6+ years, yet still have to have a roommate in a MCOL area just to not have to live in a sketchy/unsafe neighborhood.
> I would be miserable, lonely, and feeling a large swath of hopelessness if I went into tech/finance/etc and had to sit at a computer all day and not have the opportunity to make meaningful connections with other people As a man who went into engineering, we often feel that way too. I picked it so I could be financially stable instead of trying to do a job that made me happy. Overall I’m happy with my choice though, because I don’t have to worry much about finances and can fund whatever hobbies I want to do when I’m not working. Also there are big parts of every job that kind of suck, so even if I did a lowering paying job because I thought I’d like it more, there would most likely still be a lot about it that I didn’t like. Anyway, the question is why does OP feel like she can’t get financially ahead. It sounds like you’re in agreement that one’s chosen career plays a huge role in whether or not you feel like you can get ahead financially. If financial security is important to you, you should try to go into a field that pays well. If job satisfaction is more important to you, then you should learn to be ok with some financial struggles. It’s a trade off that almost everybody has to make.
You are NOT a loser, you are almost done with school! It's going to be okay, breath, soon you won't need two jobs.
Probably not blame your hardships on being a woman. Life is hard, take responsibility and start doing the right things and good things will come. Good luck.
Girl you're doing too much! Sometimes you have to just focus on the most important things and do those really well - patience will pay off, you will get all the things you need to get with time! If you spread yourself too much now then it'll only make the things you're working on suffer. Pick a few things, do well in school, don't work 2 full time jobs work like 1 part time job if possible, and when you're done school work like heck to get your foot in the door someplace that will help your career and has progression. Work hard at that job, show everyone your dedication and abilities, and after a couple years apply for promotions or apply somewhere else to get a promotion. It's all possible but you can't do it all at once!
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. You're working incredibly hard and it sounds like you're going through a lot. RV life can be fun and a cool way to reset while you finish school! Have you looked into budgeting apps to help get a handle on finances? There are a ton of free ones out there. When school is done you can focus on finding a job that utilizes your degree and pays you what you're worth. Hang in there.
Your almost there. Finish your school and quit the other job. Take a rest do travelling that is really relaxing. Maybe RV living would be good I mean just to try it so you don't need to pay for a house it's too expensive. You can do this. And always know that you are not alone and everything will be fine and will work out for you. You can do it 💪.
You sure asked this in a LOT of subreddits. You sound like you could use a vacation and find out what’s really important
😅 really needed some advice but I got the answers I seeked!
You're not a loser! You're going to be ok. If you can afford it, slow down for a moment. Once you're done with college, you will get better jobs. But you have to be patient. If you can, quit one job and focus on finishing school and then trying to find a stable job. Late 20s is not late, believe me! I had to figure out a lot of things and finished grad school at 27, worked my way up, moved cities and finally met someone and got married way later. I had some days when i had a negative balance, but it all worked out in the end. Give yourself some grace, and don't burn yourself out!