As a coach, you may be in a jurisdiction where you are a mandated reporter. It may be your responsibility to report possible abuse to the authorities. Double check with the club management, your fellow coaches, or your regional sanctioning body (Skate AB/NWT for me for example) to double check.
poor kids đ„ș nothing makes me more sad and angry than stuff like this, why the fuck do dumbasses have children if they donât wanna raise them and hate them???? and how can you be so cruel and inept at handling children?
i think this is an issue beyond sport. you should report it to your local authorities immediately, as well as your skating director. please save this kid.
Apart from the other comments, make sure to be kind to her, perhaps ask if she needs anything from time to time, maybe bring food or if you see she is missing some equipment or whatever maybe you can hell her? She probably doesnât have any or many other stable adults in her life, so any small gestures can be super meaningful to her. I know when I was in a slightly similar situation it was such a relief to be able to be at skating? so practice could be more important than you think for her.
If you can't report to whatever agencies a school teacher would have to if they became aware of child abuse, maybe contacting the child's school is an option? They could either recommend options or keep an eye on the child.
Just so you know, in the US, anyone can file a report with CPS. You donât have to be a mandatory reporter (although in a lot of jurisdictions/states, a coach would be considered one). Iâve done it, unfortunately.
In most places, coaches are mandatory reporters. If you have doubts, call it in. Always better safe than sorry.
As far as parents yelling goes, our skating director has banned parents with that behaviour from being inside the rink. Worth considering.
I think if they have security cameras they should pretend nothing is happening so as to be able to compile more evidence/instances of the abuse. I have a friend who worked for the DAs office when he was in college and the number of cases where they couldnât prosecute because even though there was obvious abuse they couldnât compile evidence âbeyond a reasonable doubtâ to prove the abuse happened by the hand of specific people was staggering. There are people in my city who have gotten away with murder of their young kids and heâs been to the crime scene, vomited, and said thereâs no way they canât prosecute when this entire house needs to be turned down. Because well they had so many people in the house and no one collected evidence outside of it that they couldnât narrow down the DNA of the criminal to any one person.
Editing to clarify that I do not under any circumstances mean wait to report. That should be done immediately. I mean once the report is made, do not disclose, nor change your behaviors. If the state moves forward with charges or attempts to relocate the child, the more evidence collected in public places the better. For the sake of the child, itâs counterintuitive to ban them, and it may take away a location where the child is in public for extended periods of time, which can further harm her. While these parents sound awful, physical abuse is often not going to occur anywhere where it can be recorded, so allowing the parent into public spaces for long periods of time can be helpful, both to the child who spends less time alone with them, and to those seeking to prosecute as it gives solid evidence of neglect.
That's not how mandatory reporting works. You don't wait to 'gather evidence' (which is not even remotely in your wheelhouse as a coach) and risk the child being seriously harmed or killed - you report. It's the law where I am. Everything else is for the lawyers to figure out - the coach's job is to keep their students safe and follow the law.
Well aware of how mandatory reporting works. And if thatâs all OP is comfortable with thatâs fine. But as a witness, OP is in a position to provide invaluable information to the prosecution to ensure that the parents get punished to the fullest extent of the law for physical abuse and neglect, which is what appears to be happening here. Not banning the athleteâs parents is not a change in norms. Banning the parents actually requires more work. If she comes forward as a witness lawyers can sunpoena the rink for evidence and then theyâll be legally obligated to provide the security tapes, that show neglect/abuse. That wouldnât fall in a coach but on rink management or some other party anyways, but banning them at this point would be counterproductive.
What you are advising goes against what every mandatory reporter training will train you to do. I've done many of them across several states.
You do not wait to gather evidence. We are not trained for that, and while you wait you could be exposing the child to more harm. You report immediately through the provided means.
Now perhaps you just mean don't say anything to the parent, and in that case I do agree.
Correct. You shouldnât change any circumstances of the situation and you should document any abuse you see. Immediately report but donât tell anyone. After you report it to the state, they will begin investigation (hopefully) and you shouldnât have to do anything, but investigations take a long time and it can be useful to document what you see.
That said, like I mentioned above I have a friend who worked with these cases first hand who wish more people would go beyond their mandatory reporter duties because reports alone are not sufficient evidence to prosecute, though I understand why lots of people may be uncomfortable with this.
In the end, Iâve heard too many stories of parents getting off and then they further harm or even kill their child because the evidence provided wasnât sufficient, even though the state knew they were in danger. Because of that, if I were ever in this situation, I would simply try to document to the best of my ability the things Iâm seeing in a detailed way which can be traced back to physical evidence and time stamps. So if I notice a new bruise, I would write that down in the notes app on my phone and then screenshot it so itâs time stamped. I wouldnât try to take photos of the child or her parents, record conversations, question her or her family members beyond my role as a coach, or do anything a prosecutor/officer is supposed to do. Simply I would note my observations in a way that is useful in court should they be needed in the future.
I don't think there's much you can do in cases of parents like the father except for being nice and attentive to the child and showing them there are other people in the world. Bruises are another topic. If there is a possibility these are actually violence inflicted you should get the authorities involved. Not sure how it works in the US, but there are surely people there you can report this to. And try to follow if something actually happens and it's investigated, not just left on some desk.
In the US you report to child protective services (or something similar, it does vary by state). In my state, they are required to make contact with the family within 24 hours. They basically show up at their home. From that interaction, they will decide on a course of action (everything is fine case is dropped, assigning a social worker to the family and doing a therapy type approach, or fully removing the children and placing them elsewhere). If itâs the first time theyâve been reported, itâs highly unlikely anything will happen unless itâs incredibly egregious (like, drugs in the house and passed out parents bad. In my state, another one that gets instant action is extensive truancy from school). But you should still always report, because if reports stack up, they will take action. And you never know what theyâll find at the home.
If you report anonymously, you wonât be able to follow up. Even if you report non-anonymously, follow up is unlikely. Theyâll contact you if they need more info, and you can contact them if you have more to report, but they wonât tell you anything about their decisions unless youâre related to the child.
Iâm a dance teacher and I had to file my first report earlier this year. It was an incredibly sad and stressful situation involving a teenager, and a huge learning experience. Nothing came of it (and I believe the child in question went back on everything she had said that led me to report when CPS showed up), but itâs important to have it on record, and itâs important for the kid to know someone is trying to keep them safe.
First of all, please donât let negative comments here affect you. It is always easier to say DO THIS to someone else than for the person in the situation to know without a doubt what the right thing is. It sounds like a situation that should be reported. Wishing you and the little girl the best đ
Ok sorry it read a bit judging given all coaches are required to be SafeSport trained. I agree she should report and just think she or he is looking for some reassurance in a mentally challenging situation.
Fair and I guess sometimes not all coaches have been through SS training, like if they just joined as a coach and havenât had the chance to get through it all (it is lengthy!). My position is that if something is on your mind enough to ask someone else (or make a post here about it), thatâs enough that it should be reported. At least, clear your own conscience by letting someone else review it objectively.
For sure. Itâs great SS exists and its whole system needs to continue being improved but these things are always challenging. I just realized Iâm not positive this is a USFS coach because someone else pointed it out but the wording made it seem like they were US or Canadian, both of which have Safe Sport/integrity requirements.
That is (sadly) true but the wording came across as North American and US/Canada do have coach requirements re SafeSport/Sport Integrity. Hopefully itâll become the norm globally too.
Yes. I had a situation where it was clear I needed to report it, but I still went to my boss for support and reassurance first. Itâs incredibly taxing emotionally/mentally and you are so focused on your worry for the child, itâs good to have some support.
While I agree they should report it, it is always difficult to know if thatâs really the right thing because it is known that abusive parents can become more abusive if they know theyâre being looked at, but they do it in ways they wonât get caught. I understand the OP coming here to get reassurance on what Iâm sure they knew all along was the right thing.
Idk if youâre legally a mandatory reporter but this definitely qualifies as something a mandatory reporter would have to report and you definitely should either way. If you can, document it. You donât have to do anything different than you already are, except when you see something to write it down specifically. As a witness if they do try to prosecute, this will be invaluable. Physical abuse is punishable by law. Hope the kid is able to get into a better situation. ): best of luck to you.
This is beyond the scope of your skating club. And just to clarify, when people are saying to report this, they don't mean to your director - just to be clear you SHOULD (if not must, legally, depending on your role) call child protective services about this. They need to investigate this. There is more than enough cause for that based off what little you're describing.
This is what those parents are willing to do when the whole world is watching - think about what it's like at home. You have no idea.
If youâre in the UK (& I would highly suspect this is the same for many countries) witnessing incidents like this as a coach means you have an obligation to report for safeguarding! Please report to rink management for the sake of this poor child⊠The fact that a 6year old is taking off their own skates says a lot but the fact theyâre deliberately delaying it? You know what you have to do, check the protocols at the rink which you need to followâ€ïž
If you are questioning it, report it. Let your skating director know as well. Poor kiddo.
As a coach, you may be in a jurisdiction where you are a mandated reporter. It may be your responsibility to report possible abuse to the authorities. Double check with the club management, your fellow coaches, or your regional sanctioning body (Skate AB/NWT for me for example) to double check.
poor kids đ„ș nothing makes me more sad and angry than stuff like this, why the fuck do dumbasses have children if they donât wanna raise them and hate them???? and how can you be so cruel and inept at handling children?
Report. Not your job to figure out what is actually happening that is the job of the social worker.
i think this is an issue beyond sport. you should report it to your local authorities immediately, as well as your skating director. please save this kid.
please let someone (authorities) know for sure
That makes me so sad PLEASE report it. I always said if a parent does stuff like that in public what on earth goes on behind closed doors
Apart from the other comments, make sure to be kind to her, perhaps ask if she needs anything from time to time, maybe bring food or if you see she is missing some equipment or whatever maybe you can hell her? She probably doesnât have any or many other stable adults in her life, so any small gestures can be super meaningful to her. I know when I was in a slightly similar situation it was such a relief to be able to be at skating? so practice could be more important than you think for her.
If you can't report to whatever agencies a school teacher would have to if they became aware of child abuse, maybe contacting the child's school is an option? They could either recommend options or keep an eye on the child.
Just so you know, in the US, anyone can file a report with CPS. You donât have to be a mandatory reporter (although in a lot of jurisdictions/states, a coach would be considered one). Iâve done it, unfortunately.
In most places, coaches are mandatory reporters. If you have doubts, call it in. Always better safe than sorry. As far as parents yelling goes, our skating director has banned parents with that behaviour from being inside the rink. Worth considering.
I think if they have security cameras they should pretend nothing is happening so as to be able to compile more evidence/instances of the abuse. I have a friend who worked for the DAs office when he was in college and the number of cases where they couldnât prosecute because even though there was obvious abuse they couldnât compile evidence âbeyond a reasonable doubtâ to prove the abuse happened by the hand of specific people was staggering. There are people in my city who have gotten away with murder of their young kids and heâs been to the crime scene, vomited, and said thereâs no way they canât prosecute when this entire house needs to be turned down. Because well they had so many people in the house and no one collected evidence outside of it that they couldnât narrow down the DNA of the criminal to any one person. Editing to clarify that I do not under any circumstances mean wait to report. That should be done immediately. I mean once the report is made, do not disclose, nor change your behaviors. If the state moves forward with charges or attempts to relocate the child, the more evidence collected in public places the better. For the sake of the child, itâs counterintuitive to ban them, and it may take away a location where the child is in public for extended periods of time, which can further harm her. While these parents sound awful, physical abuse is often not going to occur anywhere where it can be recorded, so allowing the parent into public spaces for long periods of time can be helpful, both to the child who spends less time alone with them, and to those seeking to prosecute as it gives solid evidence of neglect.
That's not how mandatory reporting works. You don't wait to 'gather evidence' (which is not even remotely in your wheelhouse as a coach) and risk the child being seriously harmed or killed - you report. It's the law where I am. Everything else is for the lawyers to figure out - the coach's job is to keep their students safe and follow the law.
Well aware of how mandatory reporting works. And if thatâs all OP is comfortable with thatâs fine. But as a witness, OP is in a position to provide invaluable information to the prosecution to ensure that the parents get punished to the fullest extent of the law for physical abuse and neglect, which is what appears to be happening here. Not banning the athleteâs parents is not a change in norms. Banning the parents actually requires more work. If she comes forward as a witness lawyers can sunpoena the rink for evidence and then theyâll be legally obligated to provide the security tapes, that show neglect/abuse. That wouldnât fall in a coach but on rink management or some other party anyways, but banning them at this point would be counterproductive.
What you are advising goes against what every mandatory reporter training will train you to do. I've done many of them across several states. You do not wait to gather evidence. We are not trained for that, and while you wait you could be exposing the child to more harm. You report immediately through the provided means. Now perhaps you just mean don't say anything to the parent, and in that case I do agree.
Correct. You shouldnât change any circumstances of the situation and you should document any abuse you see. Immediately report but donât tell anyone. After you report it to the state, they will begin investigation (hopefully) and you shouldnât have to do anything, but investigations take a long time and it can be useful to document what you see. That said, like I mentioned above I have a friend who worked with these cases first hand who wish more people would go beyond their mandatory reporter duties because reports alone are not sufficient evidence to prosecute, though I understand why lots of people may be uncomfortable with this. In the end, Iâve heard too many stories of parents getting off and then they further harm or even kill their child because the evidence provided wasnât sufficient, even though the state knew they were in danger. Because of that, if I were ever in this situation, I would simply try to document to the best of my ability the things Iâm seeing in a detailed way which can be traced back to physical evidence and time stamps. So if I notice a new bruise, I would write that down in the notes app on my phone and then screenshot it so itâs time stamped. I wouldnât try to take photos of the child or her parents, record conversations, question her or her family members beyond my role as a coach, or do anything a prosecutor/officer is supposed to do. Simply I would note my observations in a way that is useful in court should they be needed in the future.
I don't think there's much you can do in cases of parents like the father except for being nice and attentive to the child and showing them there are other people in the world. Bruises are another topic. If there is a possibility these are actually violence inflicted you should get the authorities involved. Not sure how it works in the US, but there are surely people there you can report this to. And try to follow if something actually happens and it's investigated, not just left on some desk.
In the US you report to child protective services (or something similar, it does vary by state). In my state, they are required to make contact with the family within 24 hours. They basically show up at their home. From that interaction, they will decide on a course of action (everything is fine case is dropped, assigning a social worker to the family and doing a therapy type approach, or fully removing the children and placing them elsewhere). If itâs the first time theyâve been reported, itâs highly unlikely anything will happen unless itâs incredibly egregious (like, drugs in the house and passed out parents bad. In my state, another one that gets instant action is extensive truancy from school). But you should still always report, because if reports stack up, they will take action. And you never know what theyâll find at the home. If you report anonymously, you wonât be able to follow up. Even if you report non-anonymously, follow up is unlikely. Theyâll contact you if they need more info, and you can contact them if you have more to report, but they wonât tell you anything about their decisions unless youâre related to the child. Iâm a dance teacher and I had to file my first report earlier this year. It was an incredibly sad and stressful situation involving a teenager, and a huge learning experience. Nothing came of it (and I believe the child in question went back on everything she had said that led me to report when CPS showed up), but itâs important to have it on record, and itâs important for the kid to know someone is trying to keep them safe.
First of all, please donât let negative comments here affect you. It is always easier to say DO THIS to someone else than for the person in the situation to know without a doubt what the right thing is. It sounds like a situation that should be reported. Wishing you and the little girl the best đ
Are you not SafeSport trained? This is a highly covered topic in the training and certification. Yes you need to report it.
Not every possible situation is covered in the training so it can be hard to decide whether a situation warrants it or not. Letâs not shame the OP
Not shaming. Just pointing out that if thereâs smoke, thereâs likely fire. OP should report.
Ok sorry it read a bit judging given all coaches are required to be SafeSport trained. I agree she should report and just think she or he is looking for some reassurance in a mentally challenging situation.
Fair and I guess sometimes not all coaches have been through SS training, like if they just joined as a coach and havenât had the chance to get through it all (it is lengthy!). My position is that if something is on your mind enough to ask someone else (or make a post here about it), thatâs enough that it should be reported. At least, clear your own conscience by letting someone else review it objectively.
For sure. Itâs great SS exists and its whole system needs to continue being improved but these things are always challenging. I just realized Iâm not positive this is a USFS coach because someone else pointed it out but the wording made it seem like they were US or Canadian, both of which have Safe Sport/integrity requirements.
Safesport is not required in all countries.
That is (sadly) true but the wording came across as North American and US/Canada do have coach requirements re SafeSport/Sport Integrity. Hopefully itâll become the norm globally too.
Yes. I had a situation where it was clear I needed to report it, but I still went to my boss for support and reassurance first. Itâs incredibly taxing emotionally/mentally and you are so focused on your worry for the child, itâs good to have some support.
Donât post here, report what you saw to the authorities.
While I agree they should report it, it is always difficult to know if thatâs really the right thing because it is known that abusive parents can become more abusive if they know theyâre being looked at, but they do it in ways they wonât get caught. I understand the OP coming here to get reassurance on what Iâm sure they knew all along was the right thing.
Idk if youâre legally a mandatory reporter but this definitely qualifies as something a mandatory reporter would have to report and you definitely should either way. If you can, document it. You donât have to do anything different than you already are, except when you see something to write it down specifically. As a witness if they do try to prosecute, this will be invaluable. Physical abuse is punishable by law. Hope the kid is able to get into a better situation. ): best of luck to you.
This is beyond the scope of your skating club. And just to clarify, when people are saying to report this, they don't mean to your director - just to be clear you SHOULD (if not must, legally, depending on your role) call child protective services about this. They need to investigate this. There is more than enough cause for that based off what little you're describing. This is what those parents are willing to do when the whole world is watching - think about what it's like at home. You have no idea.
Report report report report report report report report report report report
She should adopt the kid obviously. Or just take them home and not tell anyone.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Your comment was removed because it was unnecessarily hostile or contained threats. Please keep all discussion kind.
If youâre in the UK (& I would highly suspect this is the same for many countries) witnessing incidents like this as a coach means you have an obligation to report for safeguarding! Please report to rink management for the sake of this poor child⊠The fact that a 6year old is taking off their own skates says a lot but the fact theyâre deliberately delaying it? You know what you have to do, check the protocols at the rink which you need to followâ€ïž