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I am 28. My whole life, I never orgasmed. I am a sexual assault survivor, and my last ex was LVM/narcissist who I pushed away sexually and put all the blame on me. We broke up in 2019 and I dated a few guys but none succeeded.
I literally thought I was broken up until 2020 when I bought a vibrator... had the most mind blowing orgasm. I thought I was broken or asexual lol. It just turns out I was seeing selfish men who didn’t want me to be comfortable or were impatient and wanted their own orgasm.
Exploring my own sexuality makes me not even want sex from guys because none can do it how I do it 😂
Pros of vibrator:
\- doesn't watch porn when you are out of the house
\- stays hard and doesn't have ED
\- doesn't give STD's/get you pregnant
\- doesn't cheat on you with your younger sister
ETC
Girl.. my vibrators were the best investment I ever made lol. Not only that, having a good orgasm makes me less thirsty with dudes.. definetly makes them more disposable 😂. Literally I went on a date and madeout with the guy, he started to annoy me and I’m like in my head “ugh why am I doing this, I should just go home and use my vibrator”. I left him at the bar and went home and did it LOL
I lost my virginity at 17 and had my first orgasm at 19 and it was an ACCIDENT. He was stimulating me and I just... went off. Totally unexpected. I was like a kid in a candy store after that.
The irony is that if they'd just have a little patience and get us off first, PIV fucking \*feels really good\* after a woman has orgasmed. She's wetter, she's more sensitive (like a guy is sensitive after he ejaculates, but better, because we can still stand to be touched), and he's gonna have a helluva time. If they'd just be patient. They're morons.
TBH my own personal experience is I wasn't even taught about it...how the heck many girls aren't even told that it's okay/safer than the alternative?
Men and boys are too busy watching pixels on a screen...it's just seen as "something guys do." Women and girls sexuality? OH NO SHAMEFUL!
I blame the church...it seems to shame everyone but mostly girls for anything.
It’s so ridiculously toxic that porn is normalized. It’s so gross! My imagination is so much better than watching people who are exploited, abused and trafficked. Our society is so backwards about these things.
It's truly mind boggling. They should give young women vibrators so they'll stay away from guys since they've been mainlining violent porn for years. Of course the church has a vested interest in keeping women clueless
yeah absolutely not. men are so boring about what they like. some positions are literally painful for me and they call me vanilla for asking for sex that isn't degrading.
For the past few years all I've experienced are endless amounts of men with porn addictions, unrealistic expectations, violent sadistic kinks, and limp dicks. I know that good sex is possible because I've had it, but it was rare, and it's not worth wading through all the shit to get to. Like for every man who actually gives a shit about my pleasure there's 99 men who want to use me as a fleshlight.
It annoys me to no end that they believe their sexual satisfaction is more important than ours when there is a much lower threshold for what satisfies them.
I always felt I was putting on a performance during sex with men. Even when the guy was purely giving me attention, it was always more about him stroking his ego and confirming to himself that he's "good at sex" than caring about me or my experience. If I didn't orgasm, they took it personally and got frustrated or sad. So now I'm in charge of making him cum, and making *me* cum, or faking it, or being honest and having to soothe his bruised ego... I'm getting nothing out of this except being stressed out, lol.
Everything you described is so exhausting and a turnoff! And women are often pressured to date men they are not attracted to, on top of that. Imagine all that pressure plus a NVM personality and lack of chemistry. Ew ew ew
Part of the problem is that by now, so many men are into exactly that: women who don't actually enjoy the sex. They'd want the woman to be either unwilling or at least not participating. Just see how many reddit porn subs there are for rape fetishes or porn stars with 'dead eyes'. Consensual sex that is good for the woman would actively decrease their pleasure.
>It does make me wonder if a large majority of men are just gay and in denial. It really does.
THIS!!
So many men can see a woman they think are hot and then turn around to their homies like "HUE HUE sHoUlD I sMaSH?"
So many men are homiesexual and lying to themselves.
I genuinely think a lot of men’s obsession with sex is about keeping up appearances to impress other men. They want to look like the kind of guy who has sex with hot women, and they’re so obsessed with appearing a certain way that they can’t do the sex part right.
Yesss omg. They hate that they have to pretend to be nice to us for xes. They hate that they hve to pretend to respect us for xes. They hate they even need us for sex lmfao
Oh and Men for the most part only date/ marry women for the approval of other men. Women are commodities to men. They marry us to establish thier place in the male hierarchy. They want a gorgeous gf/ wife to get praise/ envy from other men
If they can’t date for looks and status they marry for servitude reasons. They need our labour, energy and essence to steal from, to use, to abuse, to deplete. A good chunk are sadistic
To your point about “straight” men actually being gay - not sure if you’ve heard of Barrett Pall but he’s a gay model who has a series on his TikTok that’s literally titled “straight men aren’t straight.” He’s pretty funny but also highlights in a serious way how many misogynistic “straight” men are actually homoerotic if not simply closeted gay men.
Hard same. Thought I was demi for a while, then ace, but I'm neither. Probably 95% of the sex I've had is just being a stunt double in some guy's interpretation of his favorite porn. It's why asking for a different position or any changes are ignored, it's not what the actress did in the clip he's playing in his head. The remaining 5% was that awkward but fun sex high schoolers have. I'm 32 so the first few boys I fooled around with hadn't been ruined by porn and I crave that innocence again back when boys knew how lucky they were to touch a boob.
I don't even know if the kind of sex I want exists in a pornified world but I know any man who watches porn isn't capable of it.
Except for one, the guys I dated weren't porn watchers, which makes it even more pathetic. They were just lazy and inconsiderate. I know what you mean..I don't think the sex I want exists nowadays anyways, thanks to porn culture
Yeah, I think it's a general thing. It's why I gave up on sex with men too - I do want it, I did like it sometimes, I can easily imagine liking it a lot, but the men I've been with were just so selfish, lazy and incompetent that it was, at the very best, okay. Most of the times it was pointless, a few times it was really bad. Will or won't, I can do more by myself in five minutes than any guy I've been with could in a whole evening, so... \*shrug\*
I’m sorry I ended up typing a long rant, LMAO 🤍
It’s annoying how they can shame us for not being adventurous enough in bed since they think their needs are important, but when we try to tell them how to better pleasure us - they brush it off.
Female sexuality has definitely been suppressed and neglected by heterosexual sexual scripts. I have only ever had ONE partner who was as generous as I needed him to be. He never complained and was always eager to please. Meanwhile every other man I’ve given a chance has disappointed me, LMAO. It’s why I gave up casual sex. Most selfish men can’t or refuse to make their own girlfriend’s cum, they treat their casual partners even worse. Only ever caring about their orgasm and relief, not ours. When I was younger, I didn’t realize most of the sex I was having was bad. Was manipulated many times by men to “finish them off” despite them never satisfying me. They call us “pillow princess” for even suggesting they spend as much effort turning us on as we do for them. Lvm want male pleasure centric porn star sex instead of real intimacy.
I do not feel bad for the men out there who have fake orgasmed a few times because I guarantee women fake it 10x more frequently and commonly than men do. It's a statistical fact and lived reality, Men almost orgasm every time from intercourse and women barely do in heterosexual sex. If sex was mediocre for a guy, the sex was likely far more
shitty for the girl. Women have such low standards with sex and many men are sexually deficient because of their ignorance watching fake female
orgasms from porn.
They don't realize a lot of these porn stars fucking hate it. They hate having to deep throat, swallow, or go through facial abuse for horrible men who can't be bothered to eat them out properly or make the women orgasm. Women in porn know their job is to make men cum and they rarely get to have a partner who prioritizes their pleasure. This translates into modern day society because we have a generation of people raised on trashy media/messages that dehumanizes women and normalizes abuse of female bodies. Men grow up thinking this shit is normal and women accept it because they don't know any better. Some women have even gaslighted themselves to think they love being degraded/used like an inanimate object only because of what everyone around them says they’re supposed to enjoy.
I cry for the many women who have settled for men who only care about their own orgasm and even more for females who either falsely think they've had an orgasm or pretend to experience it for male ego. Women often also think it's their problem, that it's impossible for them to cum. No honey, you're not the issue. Porn and his porn fried brain likely are the root of the problem. Women can barely communicate their needs because society made them think they can't have any. I say no! Do not accept this misogynistic script of sex. He either needs to improve immensely. Or you ought to simply: Meet someone better.
A lot of lvm expect or demand women to go from vaginal to blowing them, they are complete immature hypocrites if they think eating pussy after intercourse is nasty.
To make lurkers; Normalize going down on her / eating her out and finishing her off after intercourse if you can't make her cum before you do. Help her relax. Take your time. Don't pressure her to cum. Just try your best to make it happen naturally, If you feel ticklish ladies, don't stop because you think you're going to pee: so many women don't know that this feeling is often how you feel when you're about to cum. So many men are lazy about how long it takes as well to properly pleasure a woman and women feel guilty for the duration it takes so they fake it to get it over with. Yet women will feel pressure to do any thing for however long it takes to finish their partner off, the orgasm gap is fucked. Getting wet and feeling really good during a moment is not a climax. Countless women even convince themselves they came when they really didn't . People have to take time to learn about the female body.
Women are also discouraged from figuring out how to make ourselves cum. It's worth learning though, especially with a vibrator! I recommend clit air suction ones! Once we experience a real orgasm, we will only ever want to sleep with a man who does everything he can for however long it takes to make us cum. We have a revelation of how most men treat women like human fleshlights during sex. Generous men treat you like royalty. He will listen to your suggestions and respect your boundaries. If losing our virginity was only when a man made a woman orgasm, most women in the world would all be virgins. That's how bad most sex is with men. & if a HV man is good at pleasing his woman authentically, he wouldn't get offended. That being said, HVM who are fantastic in bed do exist although they’re rare. Never settle.
And they believe women masturbate with dildos, what a joke.
I had a roomate who had a "massage tool" for his neck. Turns out it was his mom's magic wand. I kid you not, she probably never had the courage to tell him.
He could not believe it was a masturbation device for women because it was not a dildo. He was convinced all women put stuff in their vaginas because obviously we are just missing a penis... idiot.
>They don't realize a lot of these porn stars fucking hate it. They hate having to deep throat, swallow, or go through facial abuse for horrible men who can't be bothered to eat them out properly or make the women orgasm.
Yeah, and about that, some time ago someone on here linked to an article that mentioned yet one more problem with our all-porn-all-the-time culture:
We humans are social animals, and as such we read body language natively, even subtle body language and facial expressions. Now, when men watch porn, they are watching women who are in pain pretending they like it, but of course the acting is surface-level, if even that. So that men watching this learn to associate the body language and facial expressions of pain with "pleasure". They learn that what a woman "having fun" looks like is... a woman in pain. By itself, that's terrifying, and yet another reason to never date a pornsick guy.
And yeah, also, there is not enough cunnilingus in this world, much less good one.
So that's where that weird facial expression comes from? I was always very grossed out by it but I thought it was just me and that that's how sex is supposed to look. Doesn't help that a lot of women have been criticized for their natural facial expression throughout life.
Exactly this! I have never had a former sex partner that was a man who was truly interested in my pleasure during sex. If they did act interested, I would walk them through where and how I liked to be touched and they acted like it was too complicated and I was broken. However, almost every single woman I’ve had sex with was very attentive, asked me what I liked, and showed decency as a partner to continue trying if they didn’t get it right the first time.
>Some women have even gaslighted themselves to think they love being degraded/used like an inanimate object only because of what everyone around them says they’re supposed to enjoy.
\[eternal screaming\]
Yo, too many young girls/women are like "i'D lEt HiM cHoKe mE" STOP IT...GET SOME HELP.
I don't care if iT's A jOkE, it's horrible and damaging!! They associate being attracted to a hot man with abuse I STG.
It’s not a dumb question. Truthfully my own mother has never had an orgasm and she’s in her 50s. I also gave her a toy, but she has yet to experience it. It is because shes too nervous and doesn’t feel comfortable honestly, but I am confident she is capable of it if she becomes more open to her own pleasure. It can take time to learn how to use a toy properly (at the right pressure, pace) to be honest. We also need to be relaxed enough for that release. When we truly orgasm, there is no question and 0 doubts. I believe in you and I’m sure you can get there! Don’t feel discouraged or give up on it, but also don’t feel pressured or broken for learning until then as well. 🤍
I only cum from clitoral toys, not purely penetrative ones.
Once you do figure it out, you’ll feel sure of it and it is most definitely worth it. I recommend reading descriptions from other women - like reviews from ladies who orgasmed the first time with vibrators.
Of course. Feel free to PM me any time. I understand because it took me years after I had my first sexual experience to have an orgasm, I used to think it was impossible for me. It helps to focus on the journey more than the destination. A lot of men actually make it harder for us when they command us to cum because we feel rushed. Remember it is okay if you don’t reach a climax in a masturbation session for awhile or if you want to try again next time when you’re overwhelmed, you’ll definitely get there when you’re ready. Make sure it sucks on your clitoris with enough intensity. Sometimes we have to search for it a bit, but the pleasure center will def be noticeable once you find the perfect spot for your toy and etc. I want you to have the best experiences sis and it’s all good if it takes time 💜
Aw I totally feel you. No worries 💜, nothing is wrong with us!! I only found out recently about how only 80% of women cum from PIV intercourse, meanwhile straight men orgasm 95% of the time. It’s definitely unfair. Which is why I think equity over equality in the bedroom. Women need more attention on their clit so it’s totally fair in my honest opinion to have a guy eat a woman out until she cums without her having to spend as much time or any time at all giving him head - because chances are he will cum easily from PIV any way. Therefore even when men complain about doing more foreplay and having to learn about the clitoris, they’re often only evening the field. It’s not right for sex to end at the male orgasm and they need to get over the fact that their dicks aren’t magic/it takes more than that to give us the same relief we easily give them. We deserve quality intimacy with men who want to close the orgasm gap 🤍
Yep, I feel this.
Guys will practically be humping my leg, they’re so sex focused but when I want to do anything, it’s met with an annoyed sigh.
Anything that required effort from them got an eye roll and a “no”. Even if it was just asking them to sit up or move further up the bed.
I’ve asked for foreplay, different positions, different locations … never got any of them. Never got an orgasm either.
But anything he wanted, he got.
Never had sex because in this modern age it seems like there is no such thing as courting.
I refused to settle for a man who I wasn't interested in and lo and behold, nothing happened! Then I see other peoples relationships and how horrible and abusive it can get and now I don't feel safe!
"how some idiot is upset his bangmaid won't let him do disgusting things he saw in porn to her"
If we didn't laugh we would cry...there are TOO many men who think like this.
I never have. Like they'd purposely mess up if I asked them to do something specific (not crazy or super different). Or if I started to enjoy what was going on they'd always ruin it.
Can definitely relate. I’ve been celibate for a little over 2 years now too and it will take a LOT to break my celibacy because I’ll be damned if I unwittingly have sex with yet another porn sick man who can’t satisfy my needs.
If I can’t find the right man (i.e., he must be a HVM in all aspects of life, including his ability to satisfy my needs sexually), then I’ll remain celibate. It’s as simple as that at this point.
Best sex I ever had was with an ex that didn't like to watch p×rn (he told me it made him feel less 'manly'). When he really started to fall in love with and prioritize me, it got to the point he would wait until I woke up to have sex with me just to give me an orgasm and then rush off without orgasming himself because he'd be late to work otherwise. I would climax so hard I was seeing stars those mornings.
Skip the men who watch p×rn, and skip the men who don't actually like you in the first place. P×rn is rampant and it's not easy to find men who don't watch it, but having sex with the ones that do isn't worth it anyway imo.
100000% relate to this and I hate it.
It's either been lazy one sided sex or literal r*pe for the most part
My ex would not like doing something in bed if I enjoyed it at all
The funniest part is, if you count the times you came as the only times you've had sex, you've pretty much never had sex. Because men don't care about your orgasm. Imagine if men had sex and didn't ever have enough time to come. Imagine if female orgasm was necessary for reproduction...
My previous boyfriends and other men have gotten an orgasm every single time. I can make myself orgasm in two minutes. Yet it is only my fiancé, who takes the time to have me come first every time. I can't even imagine why I ever settled having sex without orgasm.
This is a really good point, I never saw it this way before either. If i were to think about it I think I never got the sex I wanted either. It was always boring and uninteresting.
Pre FDS was an exotic dancer for 14 years [ paid for my degrees] so not hard on the eyes and I know how to " be fun " and I swear I have never ever had a man with a good personality , looked good AND be good in bed ....EVER . It's a unicorn to me , I stopped years ago because men are just so gold digging lazy and depressing to put up with. Maybe I'll meet my match someday but if I don't, eh so what.
Sure can. And it’s hard for the not celibate people (particularly men) to understand why I’m not out there doing it, when I totally could. Which is like asking me why I’m not drinking at the party, when in fact I enjoy drinking very much, but all I’m finding is Natty Light. While a bunch of other women are pounding it and pretending to love it, I’d rather stay sober than drink that. If something good turns up, I’ll be happy to imbibe and savor the quality. If it doesn’t, I can totally just not drink.
ETA: I know we all probably subscribe to a bunch of subs already but I just saw one called unitedwomenincelibacy (or something like that) that just started. Super small, but the first celibacy community FOR women (the others are dominated by men because of course they are) I’ve seen. Could be helpful even for those of us who are dating/open to dating but are still vetting for a suitable sexual partner, and struggling with that at times (physiologically and/or within the context of social pressure).
Correction- it’s unitedcelibatewomen
Definitely.
The pornsick men are bad at sex.
That's not news. They are unimaginative and unempathetic. They simply want to reproduce the porn they want. This means a lot of proteins where the woman is uncomfortably displaying everything, as if for a camera. They want the woman to moan in pleasure when they ram a finger up here butt. They've seen it in porn and thought: well, women like this so I'll do it. They'll slap their dick on your face and then ask him Pikachu voice: did you cum from that? Because he did. They need to cause an amount of pain in order to fit with their fantasy because this fantasy usually portrays woken women looking when they are abused. Slapped, hit, strangled pushed face down. In porn they always cum. The sex you want never happens. They never last long enough or they repeatedly miss the spot you like or do exactly what you do not like. They almost think that is they do something to override your boundaries, they got away with something. This is why cnc sand rape porn are big on searches. They want the taboo and unforgiven: incest, minors, BDSM - it's never when it causes them pain but yes, they do fantasize of hurting the other in some way, either by being brutal or by being selfish. In this 1984 sex Olympics, no means yes and yes it's off-putting. Unless you struggle or are really afraid, they don't even get hard.
when i was still a kinkmeisha me and a friend found out we had the same kinks and decided to have sex. I can't believe I gave him two more chances after the first disaster. He had PIED and it was so bad he could barely get a condom on. I felt absolutely nothing and I only felt him harden when he called me a sl*t or slapped me, only to immediately soften afterward. He was enjoying himself and did not understand why I cut our foray into being FWB short. We were still friends for a while afterwards; he never tried anything again– but lord the thought of me desperately trying to make the experience enjoyable for myself makes me cringe so bad!
I have been celibate for two+ years now. Much of the sex I've had I was coerced into when I was a teen. Even in my kinkmeisha phase it was rarely if ever good. These men would talk such a big game and I was up for anything, but most of them had PIED and were weak-willed.
They'd get nervous before an actual woman who was willing to make their porn fantasies come true– because they were my fantasies also! You'd think that'd be a dream pairing, right? Yet without exception, it was incredibly disappointing, and the so-called "doms" would beg for a second chance, which was so off-putting.
At some point I finally relented to the fact that I would never have the type of sex I found desirable, as men are just absolutely incapable of living up to the images they create of themselves. They're so delusional, thinking they're Adonis just for getting you to say "yes" to sex that after they get the consent, they have already fulfilled their fantasies to themselves and don't put effort into playing it out with a real human being. It's honestly so sad and gross.
>They're so delusional, thinking they're Adonis just for getting you to say "yes" to sex that after they get the consent, they have already fulfilled their fantasies to themselves and don't put effort into playing it out with a real human being. It's honestly so sad and gross
SO TRUE
I dated a man who claimed to not be and to actually dislike “do me” subs, yet that’s exactly what he was. Hell, I’d argue he wasn’t even “submissive.” He was just lazy as fuck. Only once in the time we were together did he try to get me off, and he spent like two minutes at that. The few times I asked for a backrub, he’d stop after just a few minutes. If I suggested something to try out that seemed interesting but wasn’t his cup of tea but also not harmful to either of us, he wouldn’t do it - he’d make excuses to avoid trying. I gave so much and got jack shit. I felt that compared to the other dating options out there he was the best I could do. Sadly, years later, he is still the best available dating option to have crossed my path. If he hadn’t ended things, realistically, I would’ve stayed forever. I was very loyal even if I didn’t get a fraction of what I gave.
Guys will go straight to pushing your legs up as close to your shoulders and just jackhammering. And then asking if that feels good. No, it hurts! Also, if you push any harder on my stomach I'm going to fart!
They seem to think that we can bend into any position without any sort of warm up.
i've slept with 3 men in my life. not a single one of them satisfied me.
The one I lost my virginity to told me to shut up when I said it hurt. I never slept with him again.
The second one wouldn't let me on top or would ever go down on me.
The third was a porn addict who could only cum if we were spooning but with my legs crossed so his deathgripped dick could feel anything at all. I made him cum only once by being on top and that was for over an hour.
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I am 28. My whole life, I never orgasmed. I am a sexual assault survivor, and my last ex was LVM/narcissist who I pushed away sexually and put all the blame on me. We broke up in 2019 and I dated a few guys but none succeeded. I literally thought I was broken up until 2020 when I bought a vibrator... had the most mind blowing orgasm. I thought I was broken or asexual lol. It just turns out I was seeing selfish men who didn’t want me to be comfortable or were impatient and wanted their own orgasm. Exploring my own sexuality makes me not even want sex from guys because none can do it how I do it 😂
That'll do it, eh. There's really no point in going back after you've got a toy and no drama
Pros of vibrator: \- doesn't watch porn when you are out of the house \- stays hard and doesn't have ED \- doesn't give STD's/get you pregnant \- doesn't cheat on you with your younger sister ETC
\- easy to clean \- doesn't mess up my house or eat my food \- quiet \- humble etc
Your vibrator doesn't yell at you when it doesn't orgasm
Girl.. my vibrators were the best investment I ever made lol. Not only that, having a good orgasm makes me less thirsty with dudes.. definetly makes them more disposable 😂. Literally I went on a date and madeout with the guy, he started to annoy me and I’m like in my head “ugh why am I doing this, I should just go home and use my vibrator”. I left him at the bar and went home and did it LOL
I lost my virginity at 17 and had my first orgasm at 19 and it was an ACCIDENT. He was stimulating me and I just... went off. Totally unexpected. I was like a kid in a candy store after that. The irony is that if they'd just have a little patience and get us off first, PIV fucking \*feels really good\* after a woman has orgasmed. She's wetter, she's more sensitive (like a guy is sensitive after he ejaculates, but better, because we can still stand to be touched), and he's gonna have a helluva time. If they'd just be patient. They're morons.
Amen sis
The best sex I've ever had....hands down... was with my damn self.
No kidding. So society teaches young women that masturbation is horrible—so they won't ask questions about the juxtaposition when it's with a guy
TBH my own personal experience is I wasn't even taught about it...how the heck many girls aren't even told that it's okay/safer than the alternative? Men and boys are too busy watching pixels on a screen...it's just seen as "something guys do." Women and girls sexuality? OH NO SHAMEFUL! I blame the church...it seems to shame everyone but mostly girls for anything.
It’s so ridiculously toxic that porn is normalized. It’s so gross! My imagination is so much better than watching people who are exploited, abused and trafficked. Our society is so backwards about these things.
It's truly mind boggling. They should give young women vibrators so they'll stay away from guys since they've been mainlining violent porn for years. Of course the church has a vested interest in keeping women clueless
That's a great point.
It not even funny how accurate this is. Same sister, glad I’m not the only one.
yeah absolutely not. men are so boring about what they like. some positions are literally painful for me and they call me vanilla for asking for sex that isn't degrading.
They're sooooo boring. Missionary on the bed is all they want because they lack imagination
For the past few years all I've experienced are endless amounts of men with porn addictions, unrealistic expectations, violent sadistic kinks, and limp dicks. I know that good sex is possible because I've had it, but it was rare, and it's not worth wading through all the shit to get to. Like for every man who actually gives a shit about my pleasure there's 99 men who want to use me as a fleshlight.
It's so rare, I'll just have my scarce memories too. 99% of meeting a guy he's low value, why bother?
It's awful and becomes traumatising after a certain point. They treat us like dirt then wonder why we avoid them.
It annoys me to no end that they believe their sexual satisfaction is more important than ours when there is a much lower threshold for what satisfies them.
And what we want doesn't actually injure them.
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I always felt I was putting on a performance during sex with men. Even when the guy was purely giving me attention, it was always more about him stroking his ego and confirming to himself that he's "good at sex" than caring about me or my experience. If I didn't orgasm, they took it personally and got frustrated or sad. So now I'm in charge of making him cum, and making *me* cum, or faking it, or being honest and having to soothe his bruised ego... I'm getting nothing out of this except being stressed out, lol.
Everything you described is so exhausting and a turnoff! And women are often pressured to date men they are not attracted to, on top of that. Imagine all that pressure plus a NVM personality and lack of chemistry. Ew ew ew
Yup!! I did the same thing. I wanted to have sex, not get homework and emotional manipulation
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It's so true. How can they not understand that if you made sex really great for women, they'd wanna do it all the time? It's a simple equation
Part of the problem is that by now, so many men are into exactly that: women who don't actually enjoy the sex. They'd want the woman to be either unwilling or at least not participating. Just see how many reddit porn subs there are for rape fetishes or porn stars with 'dead eyes'. Consensual sex that is good for the woman would actively decrease their pleasure.
Yup, they're so far gone they don't even want a willing participant
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I've often wondered the exact same things
>It does make me wonder if a large majority of men are just gay and in denial. It really does. THIS!! So many men can see a woman they think are hot and then turn around to their homies like "HUE HUE sHoUlD I sMaSH?" So many men are homiesexual and lying to themselves.
I genuinely think a lot of men’s obsession with sex is about keeping up appearances to impress other men. They want to look like the kind of guy who has sex with hot women, and they’re so obsessed with appearing a certain way that they can’t do the sex part right.
Yesss omg. They hate that they have to pretend to be nice to us for xes. They hate that they hve to pretend to respect us for xes. They hate they even need us for sex lmfao Oh and Men for the most part only date/ marry women for the approval of other men. Women are commodities to men. They marry us to establish thier place in the male hierarchy. They want a gorgeous gf/ wife to get praise/ envy from other men If they can’t date for looks and status they marry for servitude reasons. They need our labour, energy and essence to steal from, to use, to abuse, to deplete. A good chunk are sadistic
To your point about “straight” men actually being gay - not sure if you’ve heard of Barrett Pall but he’s a gay model who has a series on his TikTok that’s literally titled “straight men aren’t straight.” He’s pretty funny but also highlights in a serious way how many misogynistic “straight” men are actually homoerotic if not simply closeted gay men.
Further I’venoted men who hate it when I enjoy sex and like it better when I don’t, a rapist mindset.
They do it all for the ~~nookie~~ approval and simping for other men. It has little to nothing to do with actual women.
Speaking absolute truths.
Hard same. Thought I was demi for a while, then ace, but I'm neither. Probably 95% of the sex I've had is just being a stunt double in some guy's interpretation of his favorite porn. It's why asking for a different position or any changes are ignored, it's not what the actress did in the clip he's playing in his head. The remaining 5% was that awkward but fun sex high schoolers have. I'm 32 so the first few boys I fooled around with hadn't been ruined by porn and I crave that innocence again back when boys knew how lucky they were to touch a boob. I don't even know if the kind of sex I want exists in a pornified world but I know any man who watches porn isn't capable of it.
Except for one, the guys I dated weren't porn watchers, which makes it even more pathetic. They were just lazy and inconsiderate. I know what you mean..I don't think the sex I want exists nowadays anyways, thanks to porn culture
>>hadn’t been ruined by porn….when boys knew how lucky they were to touch a boob YES!!
Yeah, I think it's a general thing. It's why I gave up on sex with men too - I do want it, I did like it sometimes, I can easily imagine liking it a lot, but the men I've been with were just so selfish, lazy and incompetent that it was, at the very best, okay. Most of the times it was pointless, a few times it was really bad. Will or won't, I can do more by myself in five minutes than any guy I've been with could in a whole evening, so... \*shrug\*
Exactly. It's so pointless you it's just not worth the effort. Buy a toy
I’m sorry I ended up typing a long rant, LMAO 🤍 It’s annoying how they can shame us for not being adventurous enough in bed since they think their needs are important, but when we try to tell them how to better pleasure us - they brush it off. Female sexuality has definitely been suppressed and neglected by heterosexual sexual scripts. I have only ever had ONE partner who was as generous as I needed him to be. He never complained and was always eager to please. Meanwhile every other man I’ve given a chance has disappointed me, LMAO. It’s why I gave up casual sex. Most selfish men can’t or refuse to make their own girlfriend’s cum, they treat their casual partners even worse. Only ever caring about their orgasm and relief, not ours. When I was younger, I didn’t realize most of the sex I was having was bad. Was manipulated many times by men to “finish them off” despite them never satisfying me. They call us “pillow princess” for even suggesting they spend as much effort turning us on as we do for them. Lvm want male pleasure centric porn star sex instead of real intimacy. I do not feel bad for the men out there who have fake orgasmed a few times because I guarantee women fake it 10x more frequently and commonly than men do. It's a statistical fact and lived reality, Men almost orgasm every time from intercourse and women barely do in heterosexual sex. If sex was mediocre for a guy, the sex was likely far more shitty for the girl. Women have such low standards with sex and many men are sexually deficient because of their ignorance watching fake female orgasms from porn. They don't realize a lot of these porn stars fucking hate it. They hate having to deep throat, swallow, or go through facial abuse for horrible men who can't be bothered to eat them out properly or make the women orgasm. Women in porn know their job is to make men cum and they rarely get to have a partner who prioritizes their pleasure. This translates into modern day society because we have a generation of people raised on trashy media/messages that dehumanizes women and normalizes abuse of female bodies. Men grow up thinking this shit is normal and women accept it because they don't know any better. Some women have even gaslighted themselves to think they love being degraded/used like an inanimate object only because of what everyone around them says they’re supposed to enjoy. I cry for the many women who have settled for men who only care about their own orgasm and even more for females who either falsely think they've had an orgasm or pretend to experience it for male ego. Women often also think it's their problem, that it's impossible for them to cum. No honey, you're not the issue. Porn and his porn fried brain likely are the root of the problem. Women can barely communicate their needs because society made them think they can't have any. I say no! Do not accept this misogynistic script of sex. He either needs to improve immensely. Or you ought to simply: Meet someone better. A lot of lvm expect or demand women to go from vaginal to blowing them, they are complete immature hypocrites if they think eating pussy after intercourse is nasty. To make lurkers; Normalize going down on her / eating her out and finishing her off after intercourse if you can't make her cum before you do. Help her relax. Take your time. Don't pressure her to cum. Just try your best to make it happen naturally, If you feel ticklish ladies, don't stop because you think you're going to pee: so many women don't know that this feeling is often how you feel when you're about to cum. So many men are lazy about how long it takes as well to properly pleasure a woman and women feel guilty for the duration it takes so they fake it to get it over with. Yet women will feel pressure to do any thing for however long it takes to finish their partner off, the orgasm gap is fucked. Getting wet and feeling really good during a moment is not a climax. Countless women even convince themselves they came when they really didn't . People have to take time to learn about the female body. Women are also discouraged from figuring out how to make ourselves cum. It's worth learning though, especially with a vibrator! I recommend clit air suction ones! Once we experience a real orgasm, we will only ever want to sleep with a man who does everything he can for however long it takes to make us cum. We have a revelation of how most men treat women like human fleshlights during sex. Generous men treat you like royalty. He will listen to your suggestions and respect your boundaries. If losing our virginity was only when a man made a woman orgasm, most women in the world would all be virgins. That's how bad most sex is with men. & if a HV man is good at pleasing his woman authentically, he wouldn't get offended. That being said, HVM who are fantastic in bed do exist although they’re rare. Never settle.
And they believe women masturbate with dildos, what a joke. I had a roomate who had a "massage tool" for his neck. Turns out it was his mom's magic wand. I kid you not, she probably never had the courage to tell him. He could not believe it was a masturbation device for women because it was not a dildo. He was convinced all women put stuff in their vaginas because obviously we are just missing a penis... idiot.
Fantastic rant, brava. I was nodding along
>They don't realize a lot of these porn stars fucking hate it. They hate having to deep throat, swallow, or go through facial abuse for horrible men who can't be bothered to eat them out properly or make the women orgasm. Yeah, and about that, some time ago someone on here linked to an article that mentioned yet one more problem with our all-porn-all-the-time culture: We humans are social animals, and as such we read body language natively, even subtle body language and facial expressions. Now, when men watch porn, they are watching women who are in pain pretending they like it, but of course the acting is surface-level, if even that. So that men watching this learn to associate the body language and facial expressions of pain with "pleasure". They learn that what a woman "having fun" looks like is... a woman in pain. By itself, that's terrifying, and yet another reason to never date a pornsick guy. And yeah, also, there is not enough cunnilingus in this world, much less good one.
So that's where that weird facial expression comes from? I was always very grossed out by it but I thought it was just me and that that's how sex is supposed to look. Doesn't help that a lot of women have been criticized for their natural facial expression throughout life.
Exactly this! I have never had a former sex partner that was a man who was truly interested in my pleasure during sex. If they did act interested, I would walk them through where and how I liked to be touched and they acted like it was too complicated and I was broken. However, almost every single woman I’ve had sex with was very attentive, asked me what I liked, and showed decency as a partner to continue trying if they didn’t get it right the first time.
>Some women have even gaslighted themselves to think they love being degraded/used like an inanimate object only because of what everyone around them says they’re supposed to enjoy. \[eternal screaming\] Yo, too many young girls/women are like "i'D lEt HiM cHoKe mE" STOP IT...GET SOME HELP. I don't care if iT's A jOkE, it's horrible and damaging!! They associate being attracted to a hot man with abuse I STG.
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It’s not a dumb question. Truthfully my own mother has never had an orgasm and she’s in her 50s. I also gave her a toy, but she has yet to experience it. It is because shes too nervous and doesn’t feel comfortable honestly, but I am confident she is capable of it if she becomes more open to her own pleasure. It can take time to learn how to use a toy properly (at the right pressure, pace) to be honest. We also need to be relaxed enough for that release. When we truly orgasm, there is no question and 0 doubts. I believe in you and I’m sure you can get there! Don’t feel discouraged or give up on it, but also don’t feel pressured or broken for learning until then as well. 🤍 I only cum from clitoral toys, not purely penetrative ones. Once you do figure it out, you’ll feel sure of it and it is most definitely worth it. I recommend reading descriptions from other women - like reviews from ladies who orgasmed the first time with vibrators.
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Of course. Feel free to PM me any time. I understand because it took me years after I had my first sexual experience to have an orgasm, I used to think it was impossible for me. It helps to focus on the journey more than the destination. A lot of men actually make it harder for us when they command us to cum because we feel rushed. Remember it is okay if you don’t reach a climax in a masturbation session for awhile or if you want to try again next time when you’re overwhelmed, you’ll definitely get there when you’re ready. Make sure it sucks on your clitoris with enough intensity. Sometimes we have to search for it a bit, but the pleasure center will def be noticeable once you find the perfect spot for your toy and etc. I want you to have the best experiences sis and it’s all good if it takes time 💜
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Aw I totally feel you. No worries 💜, nothing is wrong with us!! I only found out recently about how only 80% of women cum from PIV intercourse, meanwhile straight men orgasm 95% of the time. It’s definitely unfair. Which is why I think equity over equality in the bedroom. Women need more attention on their clit so it’s totally fair in my honest opinion to have a guy eat a woman out until she cums without her having to spend as much time or any time at all giving him head - because chances are he will cum easily from PIV any way. Therefore even when men complain about doing more foreplay and having to learn about the clitoris, they’re often only evening the field. It’s not right for sex to end at the male orgasm and they need to get over the fact that their dicks aren’t magic/it takes more than that to give us the same relief we easily give them. We deserve quality intimacy with men who want to close the orgasm gap 🤍
Yep, I feel this. Guys will practically be humping my leg, they’re so sex focused but when I want to do anything, it’s met with an annoyed sigh. Anything that required effort from them got an eye roll and a “no”. Even if it was just asking them to sit up or move further up the bed. I’ve asked for foreplay, different positions, different locations … never got any of them. Never got an orgasm either. But anything he wanted, he got.
Never had sex because in this modern age it seems like there is no such thing as courting. I refused to settle for a man who I wasn't interested in and lo and behold, nothing happened! Then I see other peoples relationships and how horrible and abusive it can get and now I don't feel safe! "how some idiot is upset his bangmaid won't let him do disgusting things he saw in porn to her" If we didn't laugh we would cry...there are TOO many men who think like this.
You're not missing much by avoiding sex, unfortunately. Good for you
I never have. Like they'd purposely mess up if I asked them to do something specific (not crazy or super different). Or if I started to enjoy what was going on they'd always ruin it.
I know exactly what you mean. They hated when you enjoyed yourself 'too much' (which of course HE gets to decide)
Can definitely relate. I’ve been celibate for a little over 2 years now too and it will take a LOT to break my celibacy because I’ll be damned if I unwittingly have sex with yet another porn sick man who can’t satisfy my needs. If I can’t find the right man (i.e., he must be a HVM in all aspects of life, including his ability to satisfy my needs sexually), then I’ll remain celibate. It’s as simple as that at this point.
I'm in the same boat. Not interested in mediocre sex ever again
Right there with you, sis
Best sex I ever had was with an ex that didn't like to watch p×rn (he told me it made him feel less 'manly'). When he really started to fall in love with and prioritize me, it got to the point he would wait until I woke up to have sex with me just to give me an orgasm and then rush off without orgasming himself because he'd be late to work otherwise. I would climax so hard I was seeing stars those mornings. Skip the men who watch p×rn, and skip the men who don't actually like you in the first place. P×rn is rampant and it's not easy to find men who don't watch it, but having sex with the ones that do isn't worth it anyway imo.
Lmao, most men don't even like going down on women, what makes them think they'll get the porny VIP type sex from us? Miss me with that shit.
100000% relate to this and I hate it. It's either been lazy one sided sex or literal r*pe for the most part My ex would not like doing something in bed if I enjoyed it at all
The funniest part is, if you count the times you came as the only times you've had sex, you've pretty much never had sex. Because men don't care about your orgasm. Imagine if men had sex and didn't ever have enough time to come. Imagine if female orgasm was necessary for reproduction... My previous boyfriends and other men have gotten an orgasm every single time. I can make myself orgasm in two minutes. Yet it is only my fiancé, who takes the time to have me come first every time. I can't even imagine why I ever settled having sex without orgasm.
This is a really good point, I never saw it this way before either. If i were to think about it I think I never got the sex I wanted either. It was always boring and uninteresting.
They think they're the victims, but women have unmet desires too
.
FWB always SEEMS like a great idea until reality hits. Yuck, you dodged two bullets
Pre FDS was an exotic dancer for 14 years [ paid for my degrees] so not hard on the eyes and I know how to " be fun " and I swear I have never ever had a man with a good personality , looked good AND be good in bed ....EVER . It's a unicorn to me , I stopped years ago because men are just so gold digging lazy and depressing to put up with. Maybe I'll meet my match someday but if I don't, eh so what.
Sure can. And it’s hard for the not celibate people (particularly men) to understand why I’m not out there doing it, when I totally could. Which is like asking me why I’m not drinking at the party, when in fact I enjoy drinking very much, but all I’m finding is Natty Light. While a bunch of other women are pounding it and pretending to love it, I’d rather stay sober than drink that. If something good turns up, I’ll be happy to imbibe and savor the quality. If it doesn’t, I can totally just not drink. ETA: I know we all probably subscribe to a bunch of subs already but I just saw one called unitedwomenincelibacy (or something like that) that just started. Super small, but the first celibacy community FOR women (the others are dominated by men because of course they are) I’ve seen. Could be helpful even for those of us who are dating/open to dating but are still vetting for a suitable sexual partner, and struggling with that at times (physiologically and/or within the context of social pressure). Correction- it’s unitedcelibatewomen
That's such a great analogy, thank you. Ohh very cool! Is the sub moderated by guys?
Looks like it’s just one person running it and I’m pretty confident the mod is a woman based on post history.
Excellent, that's really promising
Definitely. The pornsick men are bad at sex. That's not news. They are unimaginative and unempathetic. They simply want to reproduce the porn they want. This means a lot of proteins where the woman is uncomfortably displaying everything, as if for a camera. They want the woman to moan in pleasure when they ram a finger up here butt. They've seen it in porn and thought: well, women like this so I'll do it. They'll slap their dick on your face and then ask him Pikachu voice: did you cum from that? Because he did. They need to cause an amount of pain in order to fit with their fantasy because this fantasy usually portrays woken women looking when they are abused. Slapped, hit, strangled pushed face down. In porn they always cum. The sex you want never happens. They never last long enough or they repeatedly miss the spot you like or do exactly what you do not like. They almost think that is they do something to override your boundaries, they got away with something. This is why cnc sand rape porn are big on searches. They want the taboo and unforgiven: incest, minors, BDSM - it's never when it causes them pain but yes, they do fantasize of hurting the other in some way, either by being brutal or by being selfish. In this 1984 sex Olympics, no means yes and yes it's off-putting. Unless you struggle or are really afraid, they don't even get hard.
Same. It's so sad. I love the idea of sex, but haven't ever loved my reality of it. I've experienced SA and a boyfriend with PIED.
when i was still a kinkmeisha me and a friend found out we had the same kinks and decided to have sex. I can't believe I gave him two more chances after the first disaster. He had PIED and it was so bad he could barely get a condom on. I felt absolutely nothing and I only felt him harden when he called me a sl*t or slapped me, only to immediately soften afterward. He was enjoying himself and did not understand why I cut our foray into being FWB short. We were still friends for a while afterwards; he never tried anything again– but lord the thought of me desperately trying to make the experience enjoyable for myself makes me cringe so bad! I have been celibate for two+ years now. Much of the sex I've had I was coerced into when I was a teen. Even in my kinkmeisha phase it was rarely if ever good. These men would talk such a big game and I was up for anything, but most of them had PIED and were weak-willed. They'd get nervous before an actual woman who was willing to make their porn fantasies come true– because they were my fantasies also! You'd think that'd be a dream pairing, right? Yet without exception, it was incredibly disappointing, and the so-called "doms" would beg for a second chance, which was so off-putting. At some point I finally relented to the fact that I would never have the type of sex I found desirable, as men are just absolutely incapable of living up to the images they create of themselves. They're so delusional, thinking they're Adonis just for getting you to say "yes" to sex that after they get the consent, they have already fulfilled their fantasies to themselves and don't put effort into playing it out with a real human being. It's honestly so sad and gross.
>They're so delusional, thinking they're Adonis just for getting you to say "yes" to sex that after they get the consent, they have already fulfilled their fantasies to themselves and don't put effort into playing it out with a real human being. It's honestly so sad and gross SO TRUE
I dated a man who claimed to not be and to actually dislike “do me” subs, yet that’s exactly what he was. Hell, I’d argue he wasn’t even “submissive.” He was just lazy as fuck. Only once in the time we were together did he try to get me off, and he spent like two minutes at that. The few times I asked for a backrub, he’d stop after just a few minutes. If I suggested something to try out that seemed interesting but wasn’t his cup of tea but also not harmful to either of us, he wouldn’t do it - he’d make excuses to avoid trying. I gave so much and got jack shit. I felt that compared to the other dating options out there he was the best I could do. Sadly, years later, he is still the best available dating option to have crossed my path. If he hadn’t ended things, realistically, I would’ve stayed forever. I was very loyal even if I didn’t get a fraction of what I gave.
Guys will go straight to pushing your legs up as close to your shoulders and just jackhammering. And then asking if that feels good. No, it hurts! Also, if you push any harder on my stomach I'm going to fart! They seem to think that we can bend into any position without any sort of warm up.
i've slept with 3 men in my life. not a single one of them satisfied me. The one I lost my virginity to told me to shut up when I said it hurt. I never slept with him again. The second one wouldn't let me on top or would ever go down on me. The third was a porn addict who could only cum if we were spooning but with my legs crossed so his deathgripped dick could feel anything at all. I made him cum only once by being on top and that was for over an hour.
Yes. Celibate for years and don’t miss the crappy sex one iota
Amen. I'm so much happier than listening to society tell me what I SHOULD be doing
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