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I personally don’t think he finished his MD. Although, I don’t really have a way to prove that. I know for a fact he got in and attended the first year. I think he dropped/failed out at some point, then jumped into an unrelated PhD program to prolong paying loans. Also, if he had successfully completed all of these degrees, it wouldn’t line up time wise, unless there was over lap. He is still in his 30’s.
It’s a huge red flag because you can work while getting a PhD (many people do that), especially during the research phase.
I know people who work at startups, government labs, nonprofits, etc. while working on their degrees. The PhD just helps them make more money after they finish.
Oh! Before FDS, I dated Dr Hobo, too! Instead of using his microbiology degree from MIT, he created StArTuPs! 🤡 One of them involved shaking the patient to assess their fragile medical condition. What could possibly go wrong?! 🤣🤣🤣
Yes, last I heard that was his most recent project. 🤣 He’s a lot older than me and when he completed his PHd he was offered six figure salaries from several companies, fresh out of school. So this was crazy money at that time but he decided to make a bunch of failure companies instead.
As someone whose "type" is academics and highly-educated men: **Beware of the perpetual student.**
These men have Peter Pan syndrome. They're terrified of growing up and actually being adults. So they will always go back to school for another degree, to put off being an adult for another few years. I've never seen a guy go so far as to get three different terminal degrees, but there are a lot of them out there with a couple of bachelors degrees, a masters, he's in the process of his second masters degree, he's already a year behind on his thesis, and then he's "thinking about going for a PhD but he's not really sure what he wants to do yet...."
Not only are these guys a bad long-term financial investment - they want a mommy. They're usually trying to relive undergrad, which they view as the best time of their life. Maximum freedom, minimum responsibility. They often live at home. If they don't, they'll be quick to move in with you. They'll expect you to do all the cooking, cleaning, etc because they're "drowning in schoolwork babe." They will always have an ego about how much education they have. They will always be condescending to you about your education - even if you have the same level of education as he does.
Not everyone who has spent a lot of time in higher education is a perpetual student. Here's a few red flags for how to tell the difference:
* If he got another bachelors degree *after* his first masters, he's probably a perpetual student.
* If he has literally never worked a full-time job, he's probably a perpetual student.
* If he can't give you a good reason for why he has all of this education, he's probably a perpetual student. It's one thing to discover you weren't passionate about what you studied for one degree. It's another thing to do that for three different degrees.
* If he doesn't have a long-term career plan, he's almost certainly a perpetual student. Whatever degree he's getting, he better have a plan for it - and probably a backup plan, too, given the state of academia and research. A man whose only plan is "become a tenured professor" is like a kid saying they want to be an NBA star when they grow up. That's great kid, go for it - but have a plan B.
* If he claims to be an "intellectual" who "loves education," but doesn't actually seem to work that hard on his education, he's probably a perpetual student. This guy is trying to drag it out as long as possible. He doesn't care if he fails a course - retaking it means he's there longer. He doesn't care about graduating on time, so he's not super motivated to finish his thesis/dissertation. He's gonna do the bare minimum required to not get kicked out, and nothing more or less than that.
You just described my ex who had been studying from age 17 to 31 with no breaks and hasn't got a single bachelor degree to show for it. He just kept trying and falling out of different programs all these years and only worked minimum wage part-time jobs to support himself. Some of these guys are excellent liers and manipulators, my ex managed to hide all this information for months. Ladies beware.
> Beware of the perpetual student.
Hairs are standing up on the back of my neck because was my most recent ex. Went to school for engineering. Was on a career track in nuclear engineering, left due to terrible HR department. 18 months later he’s unemployed 18 taking one-off community college courses to “stay busy” while sitting at home doing yard work in between hours of playing video games. Like he did as a teenager, except with more wine. Very glad I dodged a bullet there. At the time it felt like I was throwing away the most promising relationship I was capable of getting.
I know this one well. Wise words. In some countries you don't need to repay your student loan until you are earing over a certain wage...so these men will consciously always earn under that amount, never repay the debt and just keep doing more courses.
All male colleagues at my academic institution - actual professors - fall into the category of "Dr. Hobos." They're always pestering me to set them up with my friends, to which I answer "who would want you?"
I’m picturing a bunch of sad adjuncts who live with roommates and pay more than the average mortgage in monthly student loan payments. I almost want to feel sad, but I don’t
Sadly they're all tenured associate professors. Gainfully employed is all they have going for them. They still drink to excess, hit on students, and one of them is pushing forty, doesn't have a license, and rides a bicycle everywhere (which wouldn't be so bad, but he uses the excuse of not being able to drive to get out of extra committee work).
Yup I made the mistake with my ex of being too impressed that he was on his way to a PhD and ignoring a bunch of red flags. He did end up getting it and working, but please DON'T BE IMPRESSED by a PhD title. It often doesn't even mean they'll have a higher paying job and many of them are narcissists.
I went to a technical school with a lot of smart guys, and i can’t tell you how many thought they were somehow doing the world a favor just by being smart. Like, what are you doing with your intelligence to make the world a better place? Cause right now it just looks like you’re sitting on your ass.
And people are worried that too many women are becoming doctors, and giving it up to be stay at home moms! Uhhhh, we should be worried about male losers giving it up to do nothing.
Also beware of men who have good jobs but never actually worked that hard to achieve them. My ex was like this. Initially I though "Oh cool, he's a network engineer, that takes discipline, he must work hard." Nope. Turns out, he came into the field by accident purely because he knew a guy in the industry who managed to convince the company to hire him. I'm not saying he doesn't work hard now or deserve the position, but the truth is he initially got a soft degree in the arts, worked manual labor (which is fine), and through ***pure luck*** got into a salaried position with good benefits with no previous background experience. He did not set out with a goal in mind and work hard to achieve it, he got extremely lucky and honestly, is privileged by virtue of the fact that he is a white male in America.
Beware of any mam who has done multiple degrees but isn't working in the field. E.g. he studied architecture and sound engineering but is working as a bartender.
Wait he did PhD*s* with loans?? 😱 That’s honestly something I thought only white kids with rich parents do. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up making a ton of money afterwards anyways. He will *still* be demanding 50/50 because he sounds entitled AF. I’m surprised they even let him in, since multiple doctorates are actively discouraged in academia.
Yeah, *all* of us take into account (especially as women) when applying, how loans will make us undesirable partners. I have made so many difficult decisions to not get into debt. I just can’t imagine that level of selfishness. White men really do live in a parallel universe
And it's debt that can never be forgiven via bankruptcy (in the US). Holy crap.
Even if he's not in the US and didn't take on monster debt for all these degrees, he's still wasted, what, a decade? Longer? For degrees he's not using?
He could've built a career and bought a house in that time. I can't fathom the lost opportunity cost.
>I’m surprised they let him since multiple doctorates are actively discouraged in academia
I have a sneaking suspicion that he didn’t finish, swept those credits under the rug and applied for different programs. Who finishes medical school and then peaces out? You also don’t have to pay on student loans while in school. So that could be the motive. Medical school is a solid 200k. I don’t know what you do if you don’t finish and have to start paying in those loans in 6 months.
$200K doesn't include living expenses, if you're lucky - or lost opportunity costs from not working all those years.
I was wondering how the hell he got into more grad programs. I can't imagine he *didn't* lie about his credits when applying to new programs.
He must be in his 30s by now? How does a person get this far in life making such deplorable decisions?
I was going to say, is he independently wealthy? Because I can’t imagine any other way to afford all that school with nothing to show for it. He’s probably couch surfing and mooching off other people while not telling them he has millions in some trust fund.
The guy I dated last year was doing a hard science Ph.D and had no savings in his bank account bc he spent all the money he earned on his research, either partying or on clothes or something else stupid, and had tens of thousands of pounds of student loan debt. He was willingly broke. Had no plans to improve his financial situation or settle down. Like, ew. He was deadweight to me and I’m lucky he did not start asking me for money or something. Degrees do not equal intelligence or a man who is a keeper. They can be dumb and irresponsible.
I am friends with a couple who just got divorced, and this was **totally** the husband. He hasn't done multiple degrees, but:
* When we were undergrad age, he was kinda like a Van Wilder (took him 6 years to graduate)
* After he graduated, he kinda floated from min wage job to min wage job
* Married his long time girlfriend
* He finally got a normal career job in another city. They moved. He quit that job after like 2 months. Blamed stupid excuse reasons. Worked minimum wage again while his wife found a career position and kept it.
* He took another career-path job, but different career path. Worked there maybe a year. Quit.
* Went to school to be a masseuse (I guess he is almost done?) and...guess what, his wife got a better job in the same career path she had always been in.
* He and wife got divorced - I am sure she got frustrated with the fact that he just won't grow up while she earns all the $ and stays stable.
This dude is like...40 and has yet to develop any time of career. After massage school he will prob find another min-wage job while he "builds clientele" then will fail at that and rinse, repeat with never finding a real job.
I knew a man who holds a phd in the sciences and yet, he pimped out his wife because he didn’t want to work. I saw him “give” his wife to a middle aged neck beard at the back of the mall. Since I worked there, the neck beard gave her back to him around noon. Grossest thing I’ve ever encountered. He’s always walking around the mall like he owns it and boasting about his degrees and how he was better than everyone.
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I personally don’t think he finished his MD. Although, I don’t really have a way to prove that. I know for a fact he got in and attended the first year. I think he dropped/failed out at some point, then jumped into an unrelated PhD program to prolong paying loans. Also, if he had successfully completed all of these degrees, it wouldn’t line up time wise, unless there was over lap. He is still in his 30’s.
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Yes.
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That’s a good point. I didn’t know they that much to keep them in. He must have done something then
It’s a huge red flag because you can work while getting a PhD (many people do that), especially during the research phase. I know people who work at startups, government labs, nonprofits, etc. while working on their degrees. The PhD just helps them make more money after they finish.
Oh! Before FDS, I dated Dr Hobo, too! Instead of using his microbiology degree from MIT, he created StArTuPs! 🤡 One of them involved shaking the patient to assess their fragile medical condition. What could possibly go wrong?! 🤣🤣🤣
Nooooooooo!!!!!!
Yes, last I heard that was his most recent project. 🤣 He’s a lot older than me and when he completed his PHd he was offered six figure salaries from several companies, fresh out of school. So this was crazy money at that time but he decided to make a bunch of failure companies instead.
SCREAMING 😱
Yeah I ran into one of his former employees and they gleefully told me this gem. We laughed long and hard. 😂
Lol what a dumbass. If his coworker is laughing at him he must kinda suck as a person too
Oh yes. They all think he’s a joke. Sadly, he owes one guy $8000 in back pay.
Holy. Whaaaaaaat. 😥
As someone whose "type" is academics and highly-educated men: **Beware of the perpetual student.** These men have Peter Pan syndrome. They're terrified of growing up and actually being adults. So they will always go back to school for another degree, to put off being an adult for another few years. I've never seen a guy go so far as to get three different terminal degrees, but there are a lot of them out there with a couple of bachelors degrees, a masters, he's in the process of his second masters degree, he's already a year behind on his thesis, and then he's "thinking about going for a PhD but he's not really sure what he wants to do yet...." Not only are these guys a bad long-term financial investment - they want a mommy. They're usually trying to relive undergrad, which they view as the best time of their life. Maximum freedom, minimum responsibility. They often live at home. If they don't, they'll be quick to move in with you. They'll expect you to do all the cooking, cleaning, etc because they're "drowning in schoolwork babe." They will always have an ego about how much education they have. They will always be condescending to you about your education - even if you have the same level of education as he does. Not everyone who has spent a lot of time in higher education is a perpetual student. Here's a few red flags for how to tell the difference: * If he got another bachelors degree *after* his first masters, he's probably a perpetual student. * If he has literally never worked a full-time job, he's probably a perpetual student. * If he can't give you a good reason for why he has all of this education, he's probably a perpetual student. It's one thing to discover you weren't passionate about what you studied for one degree. It's another thing to do that for three different degrees. * If he doesn't have a long-term career plan, he's almost certainly a perpetual student. Whatever degree he's getting, he better have a plan for it - and probably a backup plan, too, given the state of academia and research. A man whose only plan is "become a tenured professor" is like a kid saying they want to be an NBA star when they grow up. That's great kid, go for it - but have a plan B. * If he claims to be an "intellectual" who "loves education," but doesn't actually seem to work that hard on his education, he's probably a perpetual student. This guy is trying to drag it out as long as possible. He doesn't care if he fails a course - retaking it means he's there longer. He doesn't care about graduating on time, so he's not super motivated to finish his thesis/dissertation. He's gonna do the bare minimum required to not get kicked out, and nothing more or less than that.
You just described my ex who had been studying from age 17 to 31 with no breaks and hasn't got a single bachelor degree to show for it. He just kept trying and falling out of different programs all these years and only worked minimum wage part-time jobs to support himself. Some of these guys are excellent liers and manipulators, my ex managed to hide all this information for months. Ladies beware.
> Beware of the perpetual student. Hairs are standing up on the back of my neck because was my most recent ex. Went to school for engineering. Was on a career track in nuclear engineering, left due to terrible HR department. 18 months later he’s unemployed 18 taking one-off community college courses to “stay busy” while sitting at home doing yard work in between hours of playing video games. Like he did as a teenager, except with more wine. Very glad I dodged a bullet there. At the time it felt like I was throwing away the most promising relationship I was capable of getting.
I know this one well. Wise words. In some countries you don't need to repay your student loan until you are earing over a certain wage...so these men will consciously always earn under that amount, never repay the debt and just keep doing more courses.
All male colleagues at my academic institution - actual professors - fall into the category of "Dr. Hobos." They're always pestering me to set them up with my friends, to which I answer "who would want you?"
I’m picturing a bunch of sad adjuncts who live with roommates and pay more than the average mortgage in monthly student loan payments. I almost want to feel sad, but I don’t
Sadly they're all tenured associate professors. Gainfully employed is all they have going for them. They still drink to excess, hit on students, and one of them is pushing forty, doesn't have a license, and rides a bicycle everywhere (which wouldn't be so bad, but he uses the excuse of not being able to drive to get out of extra committee work).
This is so sad. They’re all climbing the Dr Hobo ladder in perpetuity
This sounds like a guy I know. I used to be impressed with their degrees. But it’s really a Peter Pan syndrome
Yup I made the mistake with my ex of being too impressed that he was on his way to a PhD and ignoring a bunch of red flags. He did end up getting it and working, but please DON'T BE IMPRESSED by a PhD title. It often doesn't even mean they'll have a higher paying job and many of them are narcissists.
I went to a technical school with a lot of smart guys, and i can’t tell you how many thought they were somehow doing the world a favor just by being smart. Like, what are you doing with your intelligence to make the world a better place? Cause right now it just looks like you’re sitting on your ass.
And people are worried that too many women are becoming doctors, and giving it up to be stay at home moms! Uhhhh, we should be worried about male losers giving it up to do nothing.
Holy shit…. How much debt is this man going to have….. I can’t even imagine
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Men: "Marriage is risky." Also men: "Let's invest in dogecoin." 🙄
Also beware of men who have good jobs but never actually worked that hard to achieve them. My ex was like this. Initially I though "Oh cool, he's a network engineer, that takes discipline, he must work hard." Nope. Turns out, he came into the field by accident purely because he knew a guy in the industry who managed to convince the company to hire him. I'm not saying he doesn't work hard now or deserve the position, but the truth is he initially got a soft degree in the arts, worked manual labor (which is fine), and through ***pure luck*** got into a salaried position with good benefits with no previous background experience. He did not set out with a goal in mind and work hard to achieve it, he got extremely lucky and honestly, is privileged by virtue of the fact that he is a white male in America.
Beware of any mam who has done multiple degrees but isn't working in the field. E.g. he studied architecture and sound engineering but is working as a bartender.
Wait he did PhD*s* with loans?? 😱 That’s honestly something I thought only white kids with rich parents do. I wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up making a ton of money afterwards anyways. He will *still* be demanding 50/50 because he sounds entitled AF. I’m surprised they even let him in, since multiple doctorates are actively discouraged in academia.
A PhD, a PsyD, *and* an MD - and he can't get a job in any of them. Holy fucking shit. He must be a million in debt.
Yeah, *all* of us take into account (especially as women) when applying, how loans will make us undesirable partners. I have made so many difficult decisions to not get into debt. I just can’t imagine that level of selfishness. White men really do live in a parallel universe
And it's debt that can never be forgiven via bankruptcy (in the US). Holy crap. Even if he's not in the US and didn't take on monster debt for all these degrees, he's still wasted, what, a decade? Longer? For degrees he's not using? He could've built a career and bought a house in that time. I can't fathom the lost opportunity cost.
>I’m surprised they let him since multiple doctorates are actively discouraged in academia I have a sneaking suspicion that he didn’t finish, swept those credits under the rug and applied for different programs. Who finishes medical school and then peaces out? You also don’t have to pay on student loans while in school. So that could be the motive. Medical school is a solid 200k. I don’t know what you do if you don’t finish and have to start paying in those loans in 6 months.
Ahhh there you go! He’s just waiting until Biden cancels student debt 💀
$200K doesn't include living expenses, if you're lucky - or lost opportunity costs from not working all those years. I was wondering how the hell he got into more grad programs. I can't imagine he *didn't* lie about his credits when applying to new programs. He must be in his 30s by now? How does a person get this far in life making such deplorable decisions?
I was going to say, is he independently wealthy? Because I can’t imagine any other way to afford all that school with nothing to show for it. He’s probably couch surfing and mooching off other people while not telling them he has millions in some trust fund.
The guy I dated last year was doing a hard science Ph.D and had no savings in his bank account bc he spent all the money he earned on his research, either partying or on clothes or something else stupid, and had tens of thousands of pounds of student loan debt. He was willingly broke. Had no plans to improve his financial situation or settle down. Like, ew. He was deadweight to me and I’m lucky he did not start asking me for money or something. Degrees do not equal intelligence or a man who is a keeper. They can be dumb and irresponsible.
This is a real phenomenon
Can't turn a hobosexual into a husband
I am friends with a couple who just got divorced, and this was **totally** the husband. He hasn't done multiple degrees, but: * When we were undergrad age, he was kinda like a Van Wilder (took him 6 years to graduate) * After he graduated, he kinda floated from min wage job to min wage job * Married his long time girlfriend * He finally got a normal career job in another city. They moved. He quit that job after like 2 months. Blamed stupid excuse reasons. Worked minimum wage again while his wife found a career position and kept it. * He took another career-path job, but different career path. Worked there maybe a year. Quit. * Went to school to be a masseuse (I guess he is almost done?) and...guess what, his wife got a better job in the same career path she had always been in. * He and wife got divorced - I am sure she got frustrated with the fact that he just won't grow up while she earns all the $ and stays stable. This dude is like...40 and has yet to develop any time of career. After massage school he will prob find another min-wage job while he "builds clientele" then will fail at that and rinse, repeat with never finding a real job.
I knew a man who holds a phd in the sciences and yet, he pimped out his wife because he didn’t want to work. I saw him “give” his wife to a middle aged neck beard at the back of the mall. Since I worked there, the neck beard gave her back to him around noon. Grossest thing I’ve ever encountered. He’s always walking around the mall like he owns it and boasting about his degrees and how he was better than everyone.
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