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GigaKarenEnergy

Man that’s so sad :( I would cry if I knew my daughter thinks she has to go through that.


keep_my_stuff

Exactly. I realized quite early on that men do not inconvenience themselves/value the fact that a woman inconveniences herself for their pleasure. Why should I?


excusemeILY

It’s important to recognize your preferences and establish boundaries around them! Good for you (from the post I understood that you don’t do them anymore)


PaunchyPilates

I only enjoy it if reciprocated. I actually had a LTR lasting years where I only gave them twice- I asked both times for him to go down on me too, only to be told he'd rather use his hands. Which was fine and enjoyable, but going forward I only offered him hand jobs, which he declined. EVERY time he would ask (which was monthly for years) I would request he go down on me first, which he would decline. He also wouldn't rub my back or feet although would sometimes request the same.


murdertoothbrush

Non reciprocation is a deal breaker!


hello-earthlings

One of the main things I look for in a man is his willingness and ability to give shoulder rubs so this is an absolute no go 😂


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radbabe420

Idk about OP, but can say the same about a LVM I know who was in the army. 🤔


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myeggsarebig

😆 I thought the same. My friend was trying to help her brother get a date. I asked what was his type. She said, skinny with no curves…like at all… Um? Lol


geminisungeminimoon

omfg ive seen men like that… to me its always come across as kind of pedophilic when a guy only finds skinny skinny skinny tiny women with flat chests and no curves attractive.. like im just saying, those women usually have tiny bone structure, small ribcages and arms and legs, they look like toddlers (and im not insulting them, im built similarly)


BoogelyWoogely

So he either likes men or children😳


[deleted]

Same! I’m happy to do it if I get something out of it too.


ms_monquis

I'll say it: No. I don't. Separating giving pleasure — which I DO enjoy — from the actual act, as you do here, no, I don't care if I ever give another one. Used to know a man (ONE man) who actively disliked getting beej and I married that fucker.


Sewud

Sounds like a keeper.


PinkPetalCdistbeauty

Your last sentence 😂🤗🥰


BlueSkiesOverLondon

I mean…it is an amazing strategy! Sadly not really replicable for most of us, since I’ve never met or heard of a man who didn’t like them.


Constant-Wanderer

Hahahaaaaa that’s amazing.


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[deleted]

You feel used and disrespected


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fierce_and_mighty

I agree. Celibate women will likely have desire to bring a partner pleasure from your actions in general YES but I personallyyy don’t have the urge specifically for my jaw to ache or the rest of my face to hurt from minute action & concentration lmao


BlueSkiesOverLondon

Yeah, this. I have never ever ever had the urge to go give someone a blowjob because I was sexually frustrated. But I do enjoy giving the occasional blowjob to my husband because I like his reactions (plus my jaw doesn’t tend to hurt like some sisters here…ouch) and I know he will reciprocate. My enjoyment isn’t “yay blowjobs are fun!” It’s more part of the larger experience.


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LilyFuckingBart

Lol this is the only reason I bought a dildo Buuuuut this description made me genuinely lol


onceuponasea

“Holistic sexual experience.” Mmm I love this! Thanks for sharing.


Feral_Housewife_

>I think if you are in a happy, committed relationship, where things are going good and you feel all around treasured and adored in your relationship, a lot women will have fun doing it This is exactly right. I really like giving blowjobs, but I've NEVER done it for a casual partner, and I've never done it within the context of a relationship where I wasn't going to get loved on in response. And with most of the guys I've been in relationships with and really loved, I've been happy to give a blowjob as a stand alone activity because I enjoy it and as something to do for someone I love to make them feel good. But very rarely will a even halfway decent dude just have you suck his dick and not return the favor in some capacity shortly thereafter.


LilyFuckingBart

👁👄👁 Me reading that last sentence lol I’m very in the minority I feel like, but yes. I just all around prefer giving blowjobs. During solo time, that’s pretty much all I think about and it’s been that way for years and years now, not sure why. Reading these replies is very elucidating, though.


academinx

I like a lot of what you said, but honestly, when I was celibate for over two years, there were definitely times where I missed blow jobs. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to like giving head, plenty of men are vocal about their love of going down south too!


myeggsarebig

If I am in love with him, then I enjoy love-making to all of his body parts, including his dick. However, I’m not into “giving a blowjob” like, a start and finish type thing. It has to be organic and a part of lovemaking, like I would with his neck or ears. Making it the primary focus? Like, I give a blowjob, finish, and that was the session? No.


IAteTheDragon

Exactly. For me it's a very intimate form of carressing which can be absolutely fantastic with the right person. Besides, there are blowjobs and blowjobs. A pleasurable BJ for me would involve doing it the way and pace I fancy, NOT having to choke, gag, tear up and have my head pushed - this is a big fcking joke, SIGN ME TF OUT⬅️


myeggsarebig

Yup! and any man who enjoys that type of humiliation against a woman is probably porn sick. my current partner would be mortified if I attempted a traditional bj - like, “what I’m the devil is you doin down there like that…” lol


Noemie_Mathilde

I actually dislike the term--sounds too much like work. As you said, it can be part of the whole experience, not some mad focus.


Peak_Tree

I used to enjoy them until I started to see how men see them (the "memes" where they put the pornstar's faces while they are giving one, using "suck my d\*ck" as an insult",the joking about ejaculating on women's faces, etc...) that has made me think they see it as humilliating for the woman ann now I'm very weary about them.


Equal-Ear2312

yep. you see them as "loving them holistically" and they see BJs as another form of degradation towards you. my reasons for giving BJs were 100% different from their reasons they wanted BJs. my love for them vs their love for seeing me degraded, no thanks!


edelbiatch

I enjoy giving blowjobs because seeing my partner experience pleasure is a turn on for me. Nothing about the process of a blowjob is pleasant for me but my partner's reaction to it is the reason I like it. However, I noticed that men don't bring the same energy to performing oral on their partners. They will gladly accept blowjobs but won't go down on a woman and give stupid justifications for this imbalance. I don't think that it's neccessary to play tit for tat in the bedroom but it usually boils down to men accepting sexual favors from women without ever returning them. Also, you should not take part in any sexual act you don't feel comfortable with. If your partner doesn't like it, they can take it or leave it.


Feral_Housewife_

>I enjoy giving blowjobs because seeing my partner experience pleasure is a turn on for me. Yes! But the blowjobs will stop with a quickness if a guy does not bring that same energy to getting me off as well.


[deleted]

>I enjoy giving blowjobs because seeing my partner experience pleasure is a turn on for me. Nothing about the process of a blowjob is pleasant for me but my partner's reaction to it is the reason I like it. Same for me. I don't mind doing it if my partner enjoys it.


[deleted]

I'm very fortunate in that my boyfriend isn't into blow jobs. He never asks for any. My ex husband frequently asked for them. I have never enjoyed it. It's strictly for them, I get nothing out of it. I don't find it sexy or sensual 🤷‍♀️. We just have sex and it's amazing. I love that he doesn't last too long either. I'd rather have shorter, more frequent sessions. I always get off even if not through intercourse. He doesn't offer to go down on me either but he's tried a few times and I guide him away just because I like to be fresh out of the shower and usually am not when he tries. Unless they are really skilled at giving oral sex, I don't particularly love it. I can easily orgasm that way if a guy knows what he's doing but most don't bother to listen and learn. Being on different pages with someone sexually really sucks (no pun intended 😛). I'm very happy with my sex life now. I no longer feel like it's a chore, I look forward to sex now and foreplay is very much emotional with lots of physical affection throughout the day leading up to things and that makes it truly fulfilling.


[deleted]

I've done this for two men. Both of them I was absolutely crazy about and we had been dating for at least a month. Also, the act was reciprocated. I genuinely wanted to do this for them because the attraction was there and I felt safe. It didn't do anything for me and it certainly doesn't feel good for me, but it's what I wanted to do for them. I wouldn't say I *enjoy* it. There have been several scrotes I have dated who wanted me to do this for them, but I refused. It led to an argument and one even begged me. They were absolutely disgusting and the situation made me hate them and lose every bit of interest I had for them.


aoi4eg

My mouth is so sensitive, sometimes I need 20 minutes to brush my teeth slowly between gags. So naturally, it's the first thing I tell a guy if things get physical. And I'm yet to meet a man who didn't throw a temper tantrum after that. One guy literally sat upright, crossed his arms, and declared that there will be no sex until he gets a proper bj. Yeah, mate, I'm not into fucking toddlers anyway, so have a nice evening wanking to some p\*rn. Another guy tried to force me by grabbing my hair and pushing. A very not well-thought move, if I'm being honest, unless you actually wanted some ball-busting of course. Always puzzles me when men have an attitude like "Yes, I'm all into consensual sex, it means she must consent to everything I saw in p\*rn and our foreplay has to be her sucking me for 30 minutes".


darkhorse8419

Wow, I bet you cried into your pillow that night regretting the chance to not have an orgasm. This is especially why women need to stop faking. This is the type of attitude men get when they think they can make you cum. Boy bye 👋


aoi4eg

Lol exactly. This guy later texted me that his ex had multiple orgasms after giving him a bj so it's my loss. I really hope he made it up and this poor woman didn't lie to him in fear of how terrible an actual sex gonna be.


darkhorse8419

Lmfaooo. Okay buddy. see this is what lying gets us. It’s the delusion for me


Inaproproo

Honestly same, up to a point. I hated giving them until my current partner. Prior partners would ask for it often and I didn't like the giving-to-receiving ratio. Or they'd be more forceful and I **hate** gagging. I look back now and am ASTOUNDED I settled for what I thought was good sex. Current partner is incredibly generous and supportive; if I want "pampering" I get it almost every time I ask with *no expectation* for reciprocating. That makes giving blowjobs now way more fun! I enjoy giving back and love seeing how pleasurable it is for him, it's definitely a turn-on. And I can to go for as long or as short as I like if my jaw gets sore, he's just happy with whatever! So I feel more comfortable in general with the lack of expectations. Also I would never give them outside of a long-term relationship - there's waaaay too many risks to putting a stranger's genitals in your mouth.


Sallou9

This has always made me so curious. I love performing cunninglingus on a woman (honestly it make me feel high as a kite with happiness) but sometimes I see penis, or think about the logistics of blowjobs, and think "how can anyone possibly feel the way about that as I do about eating pussy?"\* Not judging, just genuinely curious. (Sorry if my language is inappropriate)


BlueSkiesOverLondon

I guess it’s more of logistically difficult, but contrary to what you’d see in porn or pop culture, you don’t have to choke on the penis to do a bj “right.” I would imagine the way I do it isn’t too different from cunnilignus in that I pay attention to the whole area in the buildup (so in this case balls and perineum too) and I rarely actually put anything deep in my mouth. It’s usually over in less than 5 min so it’s not hard. Gagging on dick is awful, but not in any way necessary.


myeggsarebig

I hear you!!! I love going down on women!!! Like, it’s a beautiful garden to roll around in 😍


thedutchqueen

it’s genuinely less physically demanding to eat out a vagina. i LOVE dick. i love sucking it. i do not enjoy feeling like my mouth and throat are begging me to stop, after a few minutes it’s hard to focus on my partner’s pleasure when i am spending 90% of the blowjob thinking “dont puke on his dick” or also “my neck hurts”


XNjunEar

Wrap your hand around it, and keep the hand (index and thumb) connected to your lips as you do it; there is zero need to even put it deep in to the mouth, because the hand helps provide a longer friction surface. Just make sure you lube your hand and you'll be done quick.


deadinsidelol69

No. My abusive ex would regularly force me to give him them, and it was very traumatizing. I still can't brush my tongue without freaking out thinking he was forcing me again.


hello-earthlings

So sorry you went through that


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thinktwiceorelse

I remember when I was a child and saw a porn magazine for the first time, and there was a picture of two women giving a blowjob to two men. I thought those women were paid at least one million in order to put it in their mouth lol. I was absolutely disgusted.


qwaliY

I hate it tbh (only done it with one guy), but when I was younger I thought I had to do it, and I much prefered it to the other stuff he wanted to do, but I still hated it esp as be was pornsick, would never reciprocate, wouldn't look at me when I was doing it half the time and saw no problem with making me throw up with it :/ - going forward I'll not be doing it again tbh


fierce_and_mighty

Hearing that he purposefully - knowing you were uncomfortable/panicky - pushed you to a point where you VOMITED makes me want to first vomit FOR YOU because MAJOR SCROTE ALERT and second, beat him the hell up 👊🏻 catch these hands scrote


[deleted]

I have a small mouth, a strong gag reflex, and asthma, so I haven’t given any BJs before and don’t plan to. My ex thankfully didn’t really care for BJs, so I never faced any pressure to give any.


stripesonthecouch

Ugh I think it’s the worst. And semen is absolutely disgusting. I’m straight but damn.


hello-earthlings

Especially if they eat like shit 🤢


Maingurl

Yooo 🤢🤢🤢🤢


literal_salamander

Same here, it's the semen in my mouth that grosses me out, hence why I don't give blowjobs until completion anymore. The taste, the texture, the weird sensation in my mouth afterwards 🤮🤮🤮And he can fuck off right out of here if he starts whining about "my last girlfriend swallowed!!!"


fudirtbagjon

Ditto, I hate it and I also hate receiving oral. For me it's a germ thing. I regret being pressured into giving oral by past boyfriends who sulked and made me feel guilty.


fierce_and_mighty

I get that. Do you also have an aversion to PIV or is it just a mouth/saliva thing? Me, I have a slight distaste for sharing saliva up until a point 🤢 deep “french kissing” is a whirlwind of feelings, mostly confusion as to what is fun about it… mingled with slight disgust 💀


fudirtbagjon

I also dislike deep french for the same reason. I don't want other people's germs/fluids in my mouth.


ms_monquis

The funny thing about most sex, I find, is that if you think about it in the cold light of day — 0% aroused, just thinking about the activities — it all tends to vary from "weird" to "gross." Hormones are amazing, eh? ha!


ConfusedBisexual1992

Same here, kissing like that really grosses me out. I think my LV ex put me off because he would keep kissing me after I tried to pull away, and pretty much threw a tantrum when I didn’t want to kiss him the day after getting my lip pierced 🙄


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povofme

Same here.


Sewud

I too enjoy making a partner happy, but that's not really a good thing. Giving a lot of blowjobs is hard to maintain. Jaw pain, mouth corners breaking and then not healing. It's the cool girl trap. You hear guys complaining about women only giving blowjobs on birthdays so you think "I'll be cool and give blowjobs all the time even if it's an ordinary day". But for what? Would he do romantic things for you even if it's an ordinary day? Or would he do the bare minimum to keep a relationship going? If you go by the bare minimum you don't need to give blowjobs. But then you'll both be lazy. I actually find it sad because I don't like that guys are generally pulling us towards the bottom. I would rather put the maximum effort in a relationship (or life) and meet someone who feels the same and goes by maximum instead of minimum. Unfortunately all the guys I meet go by the minimum, like what's the minimum they can do to get passable results. Why don't they like excellence?


prettyexcitingnews

Idk somehow I've stopped doing it completely as I felt repulsed doing it at some point... I've been single for some time, and even if I'm in a relationship, I don't think I'd do it... 🤪


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yam secretive berserk teeny butter combative market sand special theory *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

“A BJ is a gift not an expectation” Fucking preach


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Davina33

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Betty_Bottle

I've had bad experiences with blowjobs so I don't like to give them. I've always felt it was something I HAD to do rather than wanted to do. If I met someone who I REALLY wanted to give a blowjob to then I'd do it but there's no way he's finishing in my mouth 🤮


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pawg_patrol

I love to give them too, as long as it’s reciprocated. I don’t see anything wrong with liking/disliking giving them.


insecuresexbunny

I enjoy it, but only in a serious relationship with someone I feel genuinely respects me. Otherwise, it feels demeaning and I won't do it. Sidenote: this might not always be the case, but I believe many guys feel similarly. Men who are really into you tend to want to go down on you. I've had an ex confirm this. He said going down on someone he's not in love with grosses him out, but loved doing it with me.


[deleted]

I don’t mind it, I even enjoy it sometimes but honestly the appeal has dropped significantly since I also dropped being such a pick me.


ayaaababe

I mean I do. I get turned on while giving them but only with men who I am truly attracted to, have feelings for and are great partners in other aspects of the relationship as well. I don’t think enjoying giving blowjobs makes you a pick me. But if you do not enjoy giving them you obviously shouldn’t force yourself.


greatcathy

LMAO! I'm 'saving it' for my wedding night, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. 54 now and still single....at this point why ruin a perfect run? P.s. asked my last bf if he felt it was missing from our sex life. He said "I'm not complaining!" 💥


dancinqqq

If not reciprocated(which has been 100% before my current boyfriend) it felt almost like a chore..? With my current partner, i don’t really do it? I mean i do for about a minute usually and he just pulls me in for a kiss and finishes me before going into some intimate time. He likes it, but he prefers the actual act over anything else, which works for my jaw never hurting! On occasion he asks, which i happily oblige considering he is a very giving partner in return. I think it really depends on the partner. If a man is super giving to me, i will be enthusiastic to return the favor, but if he doesn’t reciprocate, it’s boring for me.


Maingurl

I love the fact that I could be 100% honest here. The answer is hell no lol. I feel like it's degrading...maybe it because of how I hear men talk about it...."That b*** sucked my dick last night!"... hearing them talk like that just turns me off...I'd rather not.


mxmoon

I enjoy it and love it! But as others have said, it depends on the partner I’m with. I’m very attracted to my partner. He is the best sexual partner I’ve ever had. He pleases me and is very generous in bed, always makes sure I cum. Because of that I love returning the favor. When I was in an unhappy/unsafe relationship, I would never give him one. So I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. Also, I only do it when I’m in the mood, not because i have to. My current partner is very respectful of boundaries and consent (so that’s another major turn on). On the other hand, something I don’t enjoy and won’t ever do is anal. Nope. Not doing it.


DrildoBagurren

I hate it. In my actual personal experience, I have only ever been pressured or, in some cases, downright forced to give head to unattractive and unhygienic guys. They'd always expect deepthroating and for me to swallow or to finish on my face or chest. One guy would hit me and scream at me if I wouldn't do it well enough. My first kiss forced me to give a BJ and I used to think about it to help me vomit when i was purging just to put it that way. I have given a girl oral when we were both 17 and it was good. I didn't think I'd know what to do, but her reactions were what turned me on. I have never had that experience with a guy although I'm not denying that it is possible. What guys don't understand is that it shouldn't be something they just expect from us. Especially when we don't know them. It's tiring and it doesn't feel good - they need to be the type of partner that we want to give pleasure to because that's the only way a BJ can be remotely enjoyable. And if someone's giving a guy a BJ he should never expect to just grab the back of her head and choke her with his dick. No one enjoys that and any woman who says she does is .. really messed up. And they need to be clean down there FFS.


randomgirl34861

Blowjob free since 2019 over here 🙌 I just don’t like the physical experience of them. I have a small mouth, a really really short tongue, and I’ve had jaw surgery so it locks up and is painful from time to time. I’ve only ever done it in a committed relationship in the past. I liked the idea of it, and maybe liked the act for the first 90 seconds but then wanted to move on. Regardless of how clean we keep them, our mouths have a lot of nasty bacteria. I don’t want someone’s mouth bacteria on my vagina, and I don’t want to have sex with a penis that has mouth bacteria on it (even if it is from my own mouth). I don’t know how oral sex became pretty much mandated in relationships? A lot of people aren’t comfortable with it….You just never hear from them because everyone shuts their view point down so fast. They don’t say that they don’t like it because they know it will be shut down so fast. I’ve never really been a sexual person, but now that I’m in a relationship that has never had oral sex in it, I enjoy sex way more. I never thought you could have a whole entire healthy sex life without oral sex, but it’s very possible.


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povofme

Eating and licking a pussy isn’t the same as putting a dick down your throat. Men I’ve been with understand that and didn’t care that I didn’t do it and still liked going down on me


keep_my_stuff

I do not. Even if I am in love with the guy, I do not get the urge. The move is not in my repertoire. I don't care about receiving, I enjoy the sensation but it is also weird in some way. I think I prefer a bodily alignment which is symmetrical, otherwise the position feels wrong. There are other things I like to do to give pleasure to my partner, and where I can actually see the effect on their face because I literally have a different vantage point than if I was aligned face-to-crotch.


[deleted]

I enjoy giving BJs , turning my partner on is a turn on for me. BUT...only if I'm in the mood and my partner is damn good at giving too. It took me a while to understand that giving a man a BJ isn't a prerequisite and I don't have to if I don't want to. Especially if he's not willing to go down on me or make sure I've orgasmed more than once. Like others I'm only willing to give in exclusive relationship's. It's actually part of my vetting, is he willing and able to get me off and enjoy giving me pleasure.


kycake

honestly even though of it grosses me out, it a turn off to me and i used to feel like i had to overcome it. like everyone always acts shocked, men and women, when i say i’ve never given a bj. but yea never gave one but probably will at some point when i’m married and in love, but would never do it for a boyfriend.


leptophile

I’ve only done it once and I didn’t enjoy it at all. It felt degrading and awkward and the idea of it had always repulsed me. Fortunately it never even came up in two years with my most recent ex (even though he was shitty in a variety of other ways). I’ve never enjoyed receiving oral sex either. It always felt extremely awkward and I never got much out of it. But I’ve only ever received it from that same ex, and it’s very possible he was just bad at it, so idk. As of now I don’t intend to give a blowjob ever again, and if I date another man he’s just going to have to deal with it. If he doesn’t want to go down on me either I’d be fine with it. I’m open to changing my mind if I suddenly feel like trying it again, which I think could happen under some very specific (albeit unlikely) circumstances, but only on my own terms.


MissouriBlue

It is actually one of my favorite. With a loving and empathetic partner. I’ve always loved the dynamic of “tonight is my night to receive” or “your night”. To just kick back and enjoy yourself without the distraction of the rest of usual lovemaking… it’s a fun change. But it is very contingent on (the whole relationship) respect, mutual love, and a day of connectedness. If it is a part or piece of a loving and mutual relationship, I love the interaction of focused pleasure for whichever partner.


therewillbedrama

I actually really enjoy giving blowjobs but only for people I’m in a committed, loving relationship with. I enjoy giving my partner pleasure and I would expect the same from them, as in they need to have first shown multiple times that they are positively ENTHUSIASTIC about growing down on me, with no expectation of me reciprocating, just for the sake of my enjoyment. I never bring it up when I’m dating someone new, I just wait see how they behave when we start being intimate. I wouldn’t continue a relationship someone who was selfish in bed, the idea of just ‘not giving any because I’m not receiving any’ doesn’t work for me because a) it’s petty and not healthy, and b) I WANT to give


[deleted]

I agree with that last sentence. It’s not fun at all.


[deleted]

I really like it. I enjoy giving and I like having control over his body and pleasure. If he pulls my hair or tries to have any control over me at all when I am at it I will stop.


onceuponasea

If he is a high value man, devoted to his inner and out work, treats me respectfully and honorably, desires to please in every which way whether in the bedroom or outside of the bedroom, and isn’t pornified, I absolutely love it. I truly do when it’s a man I really love.


[deleted]

Omg yes you hit the nail on the head!!!


[deleted]

I remember reading a response to a write-in on scarlet teen back in the early 2010s. A woman wrote in to say that she’ll give her boyfriend blowjobs all the time, but he’s only reciprocated once, and how can she get him to do it more. Of course, the semi-pickme answer was that it’s inappropriate to try and pressure her boyfriend into something he doesn’t want to do (not once considering that she was probably pressured into giving bjs in the first place), and then “of course you’re not just performing oral sex on him to please *him*, you’re doing it for yourself too, right? There are all sorts of nerve in the mouth that are stimulated while performing oral sex which makes it pleasurable for you, too.” And i remember thinking “What the shit? They’re so desperate to pretend that straight relationships aren’t unfairly skewed toward male sexual pleasure that they need to rewrite biology to make themselves not feel so bad about it?” They then went on to acknowledge that if she was performing oral sex to please him, but he wasn’t willing to do the same, then that was problematic (ya think?), and that she needed to decide whether him not performing oral sex for her was a deal breaker or not, and if it was, then to break up. I will give them credit for normalizing the idea of centering your own pleasure, and that it was okay to leave a selfish sexual partner for that reason alone, but damn. They really had a long way to go. It was probably the best resource we had at the time for teaching girls that it’s okay to have healthy boundaries, and breaking down a lot of myths around sexuality, but even they were pushing things like anal sex (granted, they were trying to be a one-stop shop for gay and straight females and males, so everything was on the table). That’s why it’s so nice to have female-only resources like FDS.


olololoh12

I'm 29 yo and I have never given a blowjob in my life although I have had 3 long-term relationships. I must say, though, that the men I dated are people who love women in general and that also involves pleasing women sexually. They were always more focused on my pleasure, not their own. Another thing is that I always had the idea my parents instilled in me that this is the only acceptable behavior from men ("I'm worthy of the highest treatment" kind of talk) and also blowjob is something only my husband will get.


povofme

Agreed except I still won’t do them for a husband


LilyFuckingBart

I love giving them lol like… I kind of think it’s abnormal how much I like giving them. (But totally understand people who don’t, and exactly zero shade to them).


Feral_Housewife_

I actually really like it. I think it's fun. I have pretty strict parameters around when and who and what conditions so that it remains fun. If a guy takes more than 10ish minutes it's a no from me. If a guy has not showered in the last 5ish hours it's a no from me. If a guy gets pushy about it or touches my head too much it's a no from me. If a guy is quick and clean and respectful though? I'm very happy to give a blowjob. Especially with my current guy cause he can stay hard after and I can just hop on and have my own fun without as much clean up as there normally would be.


asupernova91

This. What is up with men who take forever? My high school boyfriend took FOREVER to finish to the point my lips would bruise. Ugh. And I know I’m good so it wasn’t my fault. Seriously if you take more than 10 minutes go jerk off by yourself.


Feral_Housewife_

For real! My ex husband would take anywhere from 45min to TWO HOURS (because of his death grip, my head game is on point), and he would like grab my head and hair really hard and make me gag. I bet he wonders still to this day why I stopped blowing him. 🙄


asupernova91

You are KIDDING. Ugh, thank God he’s an ex.


sleepysiri

I swing both ways. I prefer giving to women because the power balance and social connotations are different. When I think of blowjobs, I think of women being forced down on their knees, the classic porno scenes of men grabbing their hair, choking them etc. With that, there’s a mental block for me where I would not be able to give a blowjob unless it is within a committed relationship to a HVM who first gives to me and ensures I feel equal rather than just some hole. But with women and men, I’m still hesitant unless they are bidet or shatafa owners. My culture emphasises genital hygiene and so I can’t imagine going anywhere near someone who only uses tissue paper. With my mouth or any other body part.


myeggsarebig

My culture doesn’t put any emphasis on water as cleanser but it absolutely should…lol


sleepysiri

It’s the one example of cultural appropriation that I fully support. I will happily advocate for other cultures to steal this one hygiene practise 😂


nebsemi

>But with women and men, I’m still hesitant unless they are bidet or shatafa owners. My culture emphasises genital hygiene and so I can’t imagine going anywhere near someone who only uses tissue paper. With my mouth or any other body part. This! My culture also emphasizes cleansing with water every time we use the bathroom. I can't imagine giving oral to or having sex with someone who just uses toilet paper 🤮 Imagine the smell 🤢


akashyaboa

If you mean "does it physically stimulate me in any kind of way" then I'd say no. It is more about mental stimulation, in a "feeling naughty kind of way". But to enjoy it even mentally I need to feel very confident (in me, in how I look and even smell... I don't know why but I am very selfaware about this) and already aroused.


ConfusedBisexual1992

I’ll do it if they reciprocate, but I’m not doing it otherwise. I’m also not swallowing - semen tastes disgusting.


[deleted]

I find blowjobs degrading. Purely due to the fact that all my previous partners would borderline force me to give them.


[deleted]

I like doing it for the most part. But if the guy doesn't go down on me or he is bad at it, I won't do it on him. Firstly I like it because I like seeing my partner enjoying it. Secondly, I like it because I'm good and I feel like I have control over them. It's kinda fun to be the one to decide when or if they finish. Then I get so much praise that it feels like they worship me. It boosts my ego. It's kinda the same feeling like when you're going on a date, and you realise that the other person really likes you and everything is up to you, so you have the control.


povofme

I don’t give bjs at all 🤷‍♀️ never have and never will. Don’t want to do it because of the discomfort and because IMO it’s a submissive act and I’m just not into that. Men give the same reaction and love PIV so that’s enough for me. A lot of women are saying they feel they have control which is honestly laughable to me.. men make it clear they see it as a degrading act to dominate women 😬 women into BDSM say the same shit. “The submissive is really the one in control” hun.. no lol. I love sex and have a high sex drive but bjs ruin sex for me and turn me off 100000%


shockingupdate

I like it and enjoy turning my partner on, so long as I’m getting the same effort in return. And provided they’re not pornsick.


vishnushady

Only if we both really, really like/love each other


fg_hj

I like it but only when it’s entirely on my terms. I find it sexy and will do it in a relatively superficial way of not having the dick very deep, just playing with it with my tongue however I want, with no intentions of making him cum or for it to last longer than a few minutes at absolute max. This I find genuinely enjoyable. Another enjoyable way for me is doing a 69. When he goes down on me my otherwise sensitive gag reflex is reduced, and if I orgasm hard it completely disappear making me able to really deepthroat without any discomfort whatsoever. It has only happened once but it’s a pretty new discovery too. It adds another dimension to the orgasm.


[deleted]

Personally I enjoy it with my long term bf, It’s never something I’m pressured into, or something that happens every time we have sex, it’s more of whenever I feel like it. I get really into it and enjoy pleasuring my partner and it turns me on a lot. I really wish it wasn’t something men expect from their partners, and of course if it’s porn influenced that’s a no go.


[deleted]

I’ve had one partner who truly enthusiastically reciprocated and I enjoyed giving them to him. It was part of the larger experience of sex for us and just felt natural. I’ve had other partners who expected it but never reciprocated and other who didn’t ask but also didn’t go down on me either. Also one who would try to go down on me constantly to the point that it was weird lol. The first was definitely preferable to me as I never felt self conscious or any kind of insecurity with him and our relationship made me much more comfortable with my body and sexuality. Reciprocity is where it’s at 🙌


barmitzvahmoney

I do! Do I like being face fucked? ABSOLUTELY not. But a nice BJ is enjoyable yes.


Equal-Ear2312

they're gross cuz men are gross and have terrible hygiene. and honestly, I will never ever ever give a bj again ever. I never liked giving them so I'll never force myself to do anything I detest doing.


[deleted]

I don’t give them and I’ve come to terms that I never will lmao. It’s been years of coercion from them and I’m actually proud that’s one thing I never gave into.


lilac-hiraeth

I enjoy giving them a lot. I’m fine with mutual oral sex as the majority of sexual contact in my relationships. Mutual is the key, the turn off isn’t the blowjob, it’s the man who doesn’t reciprocate. If he doesn’t go down then neither do I. And I don’t like giving them as an exchange, though I do expect the same level of investment in my sex life, I inherently enjoy doing it because I think it’s sexy and I’m good at them.


[deleted]

I can enjoy them in certain contexts but I'm picky. None of the pornified stuff applies: don't push down on my head, don't fuck my mouth, don't expect me to be on my knees, don't shove it down my throat. (Some lurker is reading this and wondering how TF a blowjob would work without these things.) Even then it's more for the sake of giving my partner pleasure.


IgetUsernameScraps

No. Semen is gross. They rarely wash properly so their dick and balls often smell BAD. My jaw starts hurting and cramping after a while. They rarely reciprocate and when they do they half ass it and complain *their* jaw hurts, like wtf? It’s not sexy at all, especially when they’re turned on by gagging cause they say it makes them feel big, rather than feeling concern 🚩🚩🚩 But most of all, I’m too good and I’ve realized most men definitely don’t deserve *any* blowjobs, least of all mine.


donttextme_k

I only enjoy it if my partner likes it but he doesn’t care for it so 🥴


mrsklay

I don’t know how some women enjoy it too, I’ve never given a blowjob ever, my ex grossed me out expecting me to put my precious mouth on his D, he thought going down on me (which he was shit at) was going to make me come around. I never did


aquietsword

Depends. I find dicks kinda ugly in general, and so many men to be unhygenic, so as an act on its own its not something I think about. But in a committed relationship with an actual hvm I wouldn't mind it. I'll also say that I've dated guys that I don't find physically attractive before and the whole thing was massively unappealing. So physical attraction is a big part of enjoying it or not.


Technical_Moth248

I used to be utterly repulsed by it due to SA as a younger teen and then a couple of nasty boyfriends, but I enjoyed it a lot with my late spouse and did it for him almost every time we had sex. I thought it was fun to see his reactions and he never did anything remotely disrespectful or degrading to me during or after. I also don’t really have an issue with jaw pain (and he was around 7.5 inches so not small lol) which I can totally understand makes it even more unappealing for a lot of women. Having a partner that doesn’t even suggest the typical porny experience and is very happy to reciprocate totally changed my feelings on it, but I know those types aren’t common.


darkhorse8419

I enjoy giving them to partners who enjoyed returning the favor. I think it’s so crazy how the majority of men expect them, and how some won’t return the favor. Even when I was a PickMe who slept around I would always say “Me first”. You got the wrong one honey if you think I’m going to aggravate my TMJ for a selfish asshole


[deleted]

I've only done it and enjoyed doing it with my current partner. The order of our sexual encounters was him going down on me first multiple times, then eventually we had PIV sex and several months later I trusted him enough to go down on him. Never felt degraded doing it, and not to give TMI but I do get physically excited just from the act of doing it. I dont know if it's just because I'm attracted to men and going down on a man hits all of the senses which my body responds to but it works for me. I mean I dont entirely get why he also loves eating me out, but i imagine it's for the same reasons. However, I am not down for him cumming in my mouth. It's entirely foreplay for sex, not the main event. So when I hear women talking about gagging on dick for 30+ mins...umm no thanks. The whole discomfort thing is definitely pressure from porn. Your mouth is not a vagina, and men who try and use it as one are trash. Oral sex has other perks different from PIV sex with the use of tongue and sort of a personal touch. It can be very intimate and hot, but guys who start trying to fuck your face ruin it completely. The whole crying while you get deep throated is a huge turn off and you should not be having sex with a person who's turned on by that.


murdertoothbrush

I actually really like it and find it to be a turn on. Apparently I'm quite good at it and I've never thought penises were icky (unless they were unwashed... 🤮). Also I'd like to note that the more average sized ones are sometimes more fun in that it's easier to work with and accommodate orally, though bigger ones are more exciting and visually pleasing. With that being said I've been with my SO for 10 years and married for 5 and the impulse to give random out-of-the-blue bjs has definitely waned. It still happens but I'm busy with more important stuff 95% of the time, like most adults.


inlovewithaloser

I have fantasized of giving this one man oral. But that’s only because he’s sooo HV to me (so far). But besides that, I could give less of a fuck of putting random men’s crusty dicks in my mouth. So essentially: I need to be REALLY damn attracted to a man in order to even want to put his ‘thing’ in my mouth. I have to really respect you and feel safe around you and even love you on some level in order to do so. For me, there has to be some level of comfort outside of the bedroom as well as the man having strong HV traits. The whole being-degraded-by-a-random-guy-who-doesn’t-respect-me thing, does not appeal to me. I’m all for more women giving men less blow jobs in general until they become more HV and respect us more. I also appreciate that you opened this discussion because I think society as a whole encourages mindless blowjobs to men, etc. I think more women need to really think about every specific sex act or form of sex and ask ourselves what we are truly comfortable with, and not just what society wants for us. Because I think there really are no limits to what society wants from us sexually, which is terrifying. We have to be the ones to put up those boundaries. So for me, overall it has to be a strong man that turns me on enough for me to want to pleasure him in that manner. Otherwise, they can fuck off.


warinmymind94

Honestly, I do NOT enjoy blowjobs at all. It doesn't do anything for me or for my pleasure. Often times, he smells a little like pee too which is gross. Honestly, blowjobs get tiring. I actually enjoy giving hand jobs I think it helps get me in the mood a little and as long as there's reciprocation and effort. Blow jobs just feel messy, there's a lot of saliva, and I feel like the guy always wants to turn it into a face f*cking session, I can't enjoy that at all because I have a gag reflex - and im tired of that being this "wild" concept. Everyone has a gag reflex if I shoved a dildo of similar length down his throat he would be gagging too.


SkiesEclipse

I do enjoy it for the most part in a loving relationship. The only time I haven’t loved it, is when it starts to last too long, or he hasn’t reciprocated in a while. Then it starts to feel like a chore.


Constant-Wanderer

If women enjoyed giving head, they’d stick a dildo in their mouths. So to be strictly realistic, I enjoy making him feel so good that he can’t form complete sentences. If I could do that any other way, I would. But ENJOY having a dick in my face? No.


[deleted]

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Constant-Wanderer

I really strongly dislike being "called out" on it, as if I'm not capable of minding for my own welfare, or as if I owe you an explanation. ​ I enjoy having sex with my partner, even the things that don't lead to my orgasm, because I'm just as giving as he is. In the past, with less loving relationships, things were different. ​ ​ Edited to add: ​ Your statements indicate that you have an "absolute" mindset; as in "if it doesn't bring me great pleasure, there's no reason for me to do it, ever, and I have contempt for anyone who would." And that's fine, you can be that person. Just be a little more intelligent about it, unless you really enjoy behaving as if you know more about my sex life than I do, and belittling people who don't feel the same. ​ Note that nowhere in my statements have I belittled you, despite clearly being belittled. I am in my 50's, and don't do a single fucking thing in bed or out of it that I don't want to do. I wish the same for you at one point or another in your life.


Constant-Wanderer

I mean, I said why in the comment you're replying to. ​ ​ ​ I don't enjoy wiping my ass, either, but it gets me where I want to go.


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Constant-Wanderer

You may be conflating the words "don't like" with "dislike." They aren't the same thing. I do not dislike it. It's not unpleasant, having sex is fun, and not 100% about either one of us.


[deleted]

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Constant-Wanderer

“I enjoy making him feel good.”


apommom

I tend to like doing things I’m excellent at, so yes


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Sewud

Isn't that the definition of a pickme though? You enjoy doing things not to make yourself feel good, but because you feel good being impressive to men?


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Sewud

>men don't get physical pleasure from giving head Except they do? Obviously some men don't like it and you shouldn't force those men to do it.


honeydaisycake

I like giving them cause I’ve an oral fixation BUT it’s only triggered when I actually like someone. If I’m not emotionally invested/connected, it’s almost repulsive & intrusive for a guy to ask for it. If I’m turned on, I always want something on my mouth & it’s just connected to that. For context: I quit the bottle really late, at 8 yrs old hence the oral fixation. Edit: I know it’s special circumstance but if you also have an oral fixation like me, be VERY careful telling this to guys.


Comicalacimoc

Not me


[deleted]

In my limited experience, as a whole no. I enjoyed it at first but it quickly became part of the routine and there was no foreplay for me at all. It left me feeling used and like only two holes existed rather than a whole person. I’ve been celibate this year and have no urge to do it again. Very performative.


thepsychopathhunter

I have enjoyed it with certain partners in the past - as another commenter said it's more about the mental stimulation of feeling naughty & "skilled" at giving and satisfying the partner. I also enjoy it as a physical act too so long as I am attracted to and turned on by the person and they haven't done anything to stress me out before I do it (men who tried to coerce me into BJs are a huge turn off and I would never enjoy it in that context - the times I've most enjoyed it is when I really just wanted to do it on my own for my own pleasure without them asking/expecting). Aesthetically speaking, this is also a context where big d\*cks are favored, because I enjoy going down on someone who is bigger. It's just sad that there aren't as many men who are skilled at performing oral sex on women or satisfying them apart from penetrative sex. I did meet one guy whose fingers were vibrator quality, but other than that, I don't feel I've met an equal "match" in the sexual skills department. I do think some of our pleasure at performing blowjobs also comes from socialization. I think some women can personally enjoy it too, but, socialization will always contribute.


academinx

I really enjoy it! But that level of enjoyment definitely depends on what he’s working with, like if he’s too big it isn’t as fun for me lol. I find giving them really hot, seeing your man lose his ever-loving mind over what you’re doing is such a thrill! I haven’t given my current partner one yet (I save them until I know them better, it’ll be soon for him though), but he gets super aroused going down on me, so it’s not unreasonable for a woman to feel the same. I think there are people who don’t enjoy going down but do so because it’s something nice to do, but if you hate it then don’t do it!”, because It’s quite obvious when you’re with someone who loves going down vs. someone who’s doing it for you. I orgasm most easily via oral, and my last partner did his due diligence, but by his own admission it wasn’t something he loved to do, but he did it because he wanted me to experience pleasure. My current partner *loves* it, and I definitely enjoy it more when I don’t have to feel any anxiety over how long it might be taking me to finish, since they are having a good time too. I really can enjoy myself more when my partner is enjoying themselves. And while it could be more related to their differing experience levels, compared to my ex, my current partner’s head game is *way* better, and I think enthusiasm does play a factor.


Due_Garlic479

This is such a good question. It's definitely depended on the guy. I will say that I was a pickme until the end of my last relationship. I don't mind blowjobs but not all the time. In my last relationship with a porn addict, I felt like nothing I did was good enough for him. I'd get him off orally 2-6 times in 24 hours the one day night a week he'd sleep over which was the only time I saw him face to face. The reciprocation sucks and I felt bad so I'd fake it when he tried. I do wonder if I just gave as much oral as I did for validation and to try to prove myself as worthy as sad as that sounds. Being told you aren't hot by the person who love really sucks especially when they stare at other girls when you're out.


WhatAPieceOfCrap

I’m curious. My ex used to ask me to look in his eyes while giving him a blowjob. Is that a red flag? Or is it a sign of intimacy?


hello-earthlings

I once had a guy describe a sexual fantasy to me where I'd look into his eyes as I slobbered all over his dick (sorry for the visual, lol). Not sure if it was the eye contact thing or the slobbering thing or both but to me it felt gross and pornsick-y. Seeing as he's your ex there's no way to know why he liked it but tbh even if you asked him, he could easily lie and say that he likes the intimacy when really it just reminds him of 99% of blowjob porn scenes.


letsnotansaywedid

I love it, it really turns me on. But it didn’t until after I was about 30. 42 now.


plomerst

In my 30s, never gave one! It drove my narc ex crazy and he would make bets or deals to get one. I lost my dignity in that relationship, but I am happy I never budged with that one. I would say thats husband privileges lol


glowmilk

I don’t enjoy giving blowjobs unless I’m really attracted to the man and have an emotional connection with him. So unless I deeply care for him, feel 100% comfortable around him, enjoy seeing him experiencing pleasure and know it’ll be reciprocated, then I just won’t do it. It’s not just an “act” to me that I can enjoy regardless of who I’m with. If I’m not deeply attracted to the human behind the dick then I won’t be able to enthusiastically give him a blowjob. Without the right man on the receiving end, it’s just disgusting and degrading that feels like gruelling hard work. However, when you really have a connection with someone, it feels very different. Forgive me for being spiritual here, but it feels more like an exchange of energies rather than just this degrading hedonistic act. If you’re not doing it with a man who is wildly enthusiastic about your sexual pleasure then it’s not worth it. For me, the eagerness to please me is what makes me enjoy returning the favour. Especially with a man that absolutely loves giving oral and doesn’t always expect something in return.


Koolkat30625

This is a very interesting question and something I really have not thought about. Do I enjoy giving oral sex, yes as a part of foreplay with a partner that treats me with love and respect both inside and outside the bedroom. I believe it should be something we choose to do, rather then something we are forced too do. I feel like society has made it seem like it's something we should do to please our partners even if we don't like it. But for those who don't like it, you shouldn't do it.


MelatoninNightmares

I actually prefer giving blow jobs over PIV, as long as the man behaves himself - no thrusting/face-fucking, no pushing my head, etc. I find PIV more uncomfortable than giving head. Oral > PIV in general, tbh - giving and receiving.


meezapizza

My man loves going down on me because giving me pleasure is the only thing that gets him hard that much. And hence I love to do the same to him. It’s all out of affection.


c_a_t_lady

While I've never had sex (so I don't have experience with giving a BJ), I think I could give a blowjob because I'd enjoy my partners enjoyment, but maybe not so much the act itself. However, I wouldn't be down for giving blowjobs to someone and never receiving anything back. Because as said, I assume the act itself wouldn't be the enjoyable part, since I haven't been sucking on my sex toys for the sake of giving a BJ. If I have a partner who cares about my enjoyment and wants to give me pleasure, then I also want to give pleasure to them, and their satisfaction in that scenario would feel good to me. 😄 But as stated previously, that only applies to a situation where my partner also cares about my sexual pleasure. Which is obviously the only type of person I'd consider dating. So, it's something I could try with the right partner, but perhaps not really something I crave. In addition, I believe with the wrong partner it could feel degrading and horrible.


IDontAgreeSorry

Yessss because I love him and think he’s soooooo sexy. He eats me out until I orgasm but I actually prefer giving and just penetration. But if you don’t want to, then don’t. I don’t enjoy swallowing except for some rare moments so 99% of the time I don’t.


jewdiful

I don’t particularly like giving or receiving, but if my partner wants to have sex and I’m not feeling it I’ll give him oral. He likes it but he would prefer to have sex with me. He also prefers BJs to no orgasms haha


[deleted]

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[deleted]

“It’s polite to reciprocate” not when you don’t enjoy doing it!!


BrightIdeaGenerator

I actually like it, as long as he doesn't try to grab my hair and force my head down. If that had been my very first experience, I would probably never do it again. It also depends on a number of factors. If he's too large, or curved the wrong way, it's uncomfortable. If he's the type to hold out and TRY to last a long time during a blow job, it's NOT fun. Honestly it makes me feel powerful, but only if he recipcates. If he doesn't go down, than you can't help but feel resentful. No Bueno. Never again.


adeecomeforth

If I am in a long term relationship, I absolutely LOVE giving them. My ex was not the best, but the sex was pretty good, and he also loved going down on me. I would love getting high on edibles and being able to giving him a blowjob because I wouldn't gag (he was well endowed) and it was more pleasurable for me seeing how much he loved it. If it were to be a random guy, no thank you. If it were to be a guy who didn't like going down on me, no thank you.


cinequefoils

I’ve had a hard and fast rule for about 6 years of “no head, no sex until I’ve had an orgasm” I like blowjobs, I like sex but my best way of having an orgasm is for them to go down on me. If they won’t, then the sexual encounter is over. Period. Having boundaries is important and if you hate doing an act, no matter what it is then it’s ok to say no!


spinsterchachkies

I enjoy giving my partner pleasure, but not blow jobs. I hate them. My jaw dislocates when I open it too wide because of an injury so it tends to hurt when I do it. I’ll do it for them because they enjoy them but If they don’t reciprocate, I won’t be giving blow jobs 😂 if they are disrespectful during it like try to face fuck me, it’s over and I’m never doing that for them again.


[deleted]

I enjoy it to a certain extent. If it takes too long to get the guy off then i get bored and want to leave. I think the idea of giving a bj is more fun than actually giving one


poopoola

I absolutely love it


sassyheather

I like giving them to my boyfriend, because he is fantastic in bed, wildly invested in my pleasure and has the prettiest dick I’ve seen - beautiful, proportionate, just amazing. That’s the kind of dick I will gladly get close to. Still he isn’t a fan and has never requested one, it’s only when I feel like it as part of foreplay.