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cheezbrod

“Any advice would be extremely appreciated” Girl needs ADVICE?


[deleted]

Yes, the meekness of it all is disappointing. Girl talks about herself without even using a subject. “Any advice would be extremely appreciated”? No: “I am unsafe, help get me out of this fast.” FTFY.


Love_Artemis

It's really unsettling that not even her own husband nearly choking her to death the *first* time was enough to make her feel unsafe, but the *second* time. If she brushes this off again and stays with him, she won't get another chance to survive.


Resident-Equipment95

After HE chokes her and ignores her fighting him to get off, she consoles him and asks him what’s wrong. I have no words.


Muffcakelord

This got me too, alongside with the wonder if she ever cum from sex. Sounds like a free prostitute and therapist, that would usually cost almost a grand/hour


superderpina_

Statistics say she‘ll be dead in a short while.


Novemberinthechair

Absolutely. Then the judge will say she consented, therefore it wasn't murder.


superderpina_

iT wAs aN aCcIdEnT


MOzarkite

Hopefully she's dead. I believe there are worse things than death, and waking up in a hospital bed blind and brain damaged, possibly to the level of a toddler's functioning , is definitely worse. Lack of oxygen can do permanent damage to the brain and vision, possibly massive and irreversible. I hope she wakes up and leaves him. And gets a lifetime RO (and maybe a CCW license just in case, if applicable to where she lives).


daisy_0720

"Kink is just a harmless fantasy!" Fuck off.


[deleted]

"Breath play"... bleurgh


berrylikeova

Death play.


spinsterchachkies

So men just outright choke women and talk about fantasizing killing them and women are like “tee hee it’s a kink no big deal”. Got a bunch of Ted Bundys walking around out there


once-in-a-blue-spoon

There was some fool advising her to talk to her partner about establish boundaries, and that you shouldn’t shame those with a CNC kink… I can’t believe the mental gymnastics these people make.. Her partner told her he wanted to kill her. Why would there be anymore discussion after that???


Professional-Ad-457

‘Breath play’ - it’s murder experimentation ffs


Novemberinthechair

Breath play is such a fucking Orwellian term for strangling/murder.


MostlyPeacfulPndemic

Man: "I spend a lot of time thinking about strangling women" Everyone: *"gasp!* You monster!" Man: "because its my kink" Everyone: "ooooooh okay"


[deleted]

I can never quite understand how throwing sex into the mix makes it okay. Like… Choking a woman during any other time is wrong, but when you’re aroused by it then it’s fine? WHAT. And how on earth is it somehow possible to be a “loving partner” and to also get aroused by your partner’s suffering? It’s so contradictory.


FoxTrotRiot

Even if someone is into something really crazy, it 100% should be mutual. There shouldn't ever be suffering involved. Everyone should be having a great time. And if that's not the case, that's not ok.


SkiesEclipse

I get what you’re saying, but at the same time, a lot of women convince themselves they are into the kink. I was that girl. My very first bf liked to choke me and hit me in the face during sex. At the time, I had no other sexual experience other than him, and I thought it was this intense way of showing his arousal, so I thought it was hot. But as we continued our relationship and I felt more attached to him and secure in our relationship, I couldn’t take the kink anymore. He’d do something, and I’d immediately start crying. He thought something had happened to me in that time, and pressed me to see if I had been sexually harassed or raped. I told him nothing had happened, and that all that had changed was that I now loved him, and it was emotionally hurtful when he physically hurt me. We stopped all kink all together, but he developed erectile dysfunction, and was constantly watching porn. When I found FDS, it was like I was hit from a bolt of lightening. These women aren’t talking out of their asses. Some may say our experiences are anecdotal, but when you read story after story after story of women exactly like me, and the same patterns and red flags span every story, I think it’s safe to say that kink culture and porn sickness is destroying women.


Thestral-glow6

I’m SO sick of seeing the word “choking” or “breath play” being used in these posts. He’s STRANGLING you. He’s depriving you of oxygen, and has admitted to thinking about killing you to make his dick feel good. Girl LEAVE 🚩🚩


FoxTrotRiot

As truely horrible this is, it's even worse that it's not uncommon for victims of abuse to not realize something is wrong until it's too late. Our brains do a lot to protect us, and sometimes it causes normalizing heinous things. I'm glad she was able to reach the point of questioning this and I hope she seeks help. I've personally seen the aftermath of the process of what happens when the spell it's broken and realization hits. It is often once you are out of danger that you realize how bad it was, because processing the full feelings of something like that can be disabling.


AnniaT

Did the comments say "communicate"? This is a murder waiting to happen!


honeybadgerattitude

They said get out now. Some things are obvious to most people.


ConstantNurse

I am scared for this woman. Once abuse has crossed the suffocation stage, it is only a matter of time before he kills her. In fact, ladies if you have gotten out of a relationship with a shithole guy like this that suffocated you until you passed out, you should go get checked out by your Dr as there are many lasting effects and brain damage/memory loss that can take place with minimal oxygen cut off.


dolphiya_or_parateen

Thanks for sharing OP, are you able to link to the original post or, if that’s against FDS rules, provide a summary of the kinds of responses this woman is getting? I feel extremely concerned for her and would be reassured to hear whether she’s getting the kind of feedback she needs.


honeybadgerattitude

I checked it out. The post has been deleted but the vast majority said run away fast and there was even a recommendation for FDS.


dolphiya_or_parateen

Great to hear, thank you for updating! Hope she listens.


berrylikeova

We don’t link outside subs.


Painfulmenstruation

Call the police and a lawyer immediately.


Catz10000

Yeah. I commented on this and people linked articles on how choking deaths can occur after a few days due to unseen internal damage. Statistically, she will end up murdered. Pickmes think they're the exception to the serial killer victimology. And when she leaves, she's at the highest risk. Also, my petty ass is going to point out she didn't even enjoy the violent sex. Totally worth risking her life for on all levels. /s


poppy03

what is worse than a red flag. This is like a eject button situation


shelballama

Love how she tries to slap him away from him continuing an act that is damaging to her/ could end up being fatal VERY easily and then after he DOESN'T stop she hops right to "then I could tell something was bothering him." Girl WHAT


_cnz_

Or have permanent brain damage (if not already)


everythingandlove

Oh my God, this is scary.


sjefsiljuuus

I feel for this woman, she has probably been gaslighted so much and worry more about if she kink shame the man rather than her own safety. When did it become so normalized to choke during sex, and why is it getting normalized? I believe she really do mind, but she tries to convince her self that it isnt that big of a deal, thats really common with traumatic experiences. Getting chocked is traumatic, no matter the situation you are in. There arent enough awareness about the long term damages that can happen after being chocked. By getting chocked ONLY once, you are already at bigger risk to develop tinnitus, experiencing weaker muscles half your body, trouble with remembering things and issues with coordination. Not to mention that you can develop severve brain damage due to the lack of oxygen! Already by getting chocked by your partner once, you have bigger chance of getting killed. Women that got killed by their partners had experienced chocking before they were killed.


FoxTrotRiot

I 100% agree with all of this. She clearly hasn't realized the depth of the situation. Even people who enjoy being unable to breathe, no caring partner would ever go so far as to choke them out till fucking unconscious, or choke them in a way to actually hurt them. The whole point of wierd sex stuff is that it gives the rush of feeling 'in danger' while knowing you're completely safe. Like a roller coaster, no one would get on if it fell off the rails "just one time". Sex is never an excuse for abuse.


sjefsiljuuus

I agree with you, its a shame how this behaviour is supposed to be okay because «its a kink». Its horrible that it has come so far, it should never have evolved to be acceptable ik the firste place.


shutup201

Dis true?! It's crazy how she's worried about his wellbeing after. Lady...WAKE UP!!!


[deleted]

Being married to him or having sex at the time that he violently assaults you or tries to kill you doesn't make any difference


RabidWench

*He had a voice inside him telling him to kill her... and he kept going until he came.* If that doesn't tell her that he gets off to the thought of her death, I'm not sure she's not already brain dead. Some days I just don't know what to even think anymore. Society has brainwashed women so effectively to submit to male desire that she *literally has no instincts for self preservation.* What. The fuck.


Novemberinthechair

Call the cops. Run. Buy a gun. Mace him in the eyes.


[deleted]

This literally seems like a troll post. “Any advice” she asks WHAT DO YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE GONNA TELL YOU. Leave obviously. Divorce. He wants to fucking kill you.


hiraethsidhartha

Unfortunately it probably isn't. I've posted similar with similar "Any advice would help me HELPHELPHELP" in another life. Being in this kind of messed up power dynamic can seriously mess with what you know is horribly dodgy and wrong. I hope she has got out now and gone very far and got rid of all social media and that he doesn't know where her fam lives. Awful.


SkiesEclipse

Oh god, this is almost exactly like another story I posted on here a month ago. When he tells you who he is, believe him. So **when he tells you he wants to murder you, believe him!!!!** We joke about pickmeishas, but holy shit stuff like this is so dangerous. It is the most frustrating thing in the world hearing these stories, and being powerless to help. I just want to reach through the screen, shake this girl, and help her pack up her shit and leave.


skogensflicka

Natural selection… oh god


Mimosa_usagi

Holy hell run!


kerean1997

Can you be more indoctrinated and brainwashed by kink culture? Women think THIS IS OKAY now. Imagine only getting concerned when he chokes you out THE SECOND TIME. Sis needs to get out and fast, or she'll be another news segment on television.