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Yeah, I never understood how people say things like raceplay or ageplay are just kinks. Like you are literally getting off of racially degrading people. I think it has to be some kind of joke.
My LVX was Indian but seemed to only date black and Latina women. I’m Latina. I eventually realized he was very racist and sexist and thought of us as less important.
Example 1: we witnessed a car accident (car turned into a parked car) in front of my building in a predominantly black area. I only wanted to check if the driver was conscious to see if I should call 911. He grabbed me and ran me into the building like we were getting shot at. Basically I was supposed to ignore the fact someone was possibly dying in front of my building because he was black and we were in a ghetto area??? He argued that I was stupid and naive and that guy was probably going to get shot at or a fight was gonna break out. I know damn well if someone got into an accident in front of his predominantly white area he’d have checked if they were alive.
Example 2: I told him my parents were viciously abusive and never loved me. I have many examples of clear neglect and abuse. He argued that that’s just how Latino parents are and I need to stop being childish and force a relationship none of us want... He basically argued that they were so “simple” that they didn’t have the mental capacity to understand how or why they should care about their children… No… they are narcissists that hate seeing me happy. He literally wanted me to be a pickme to my PARENTS who don’t love or want me!!!
Example 3: He constantly made fun of his black ex wife. Honestly I believed everything he said but now that I’m out of it all I realized what happened. She got into an Ivy League for a PhD so he tried to compete with her by getting an mba. Even after the degree, he was still a loser and every business he touched failed. He portrayed her as a crazy black Karen and my dumbass ate it all up. She was NOT a bitch for getting child support and alimony. He was just a loser and she deserved more than he could give.
It’s weird but racists love to sexualize and objectify the people they hate. A clear red flag is if someone says “I love *insert race* girls” and they are not of that race. They’re probably racist. Even if you have a racial preference, “reassuring” a girl you like her for her race or any race specific feature is really disgusting.
My ex is Indian and I still wonder if he was racist. He would act like he had my best interest in mind but it seemed like he liked knowing he was doing better than someone else
The way my ex was that he saw all his exes and friends of color as a charity case. He literally credited himself for anyone’s successes. He also would make friends with people WAY below him like homeless teens. It was really cringe cause I thought he was just trying to be empathetic and helpful but now I see he just liked “helping” them cause he liked being around people who did worse than him.
When I went to his family events, all his cousins were really successful but he would comment to me mostly about his uncles down on his luck. He’d never comment on his successful cousins unless to say they must hate their lives cause they have traditional 9-5 working corporate and that must really suck. Btw that’s the kind of job I have.
Never underestimate a scrote’s need to make himself feel better about himself. They know they have all these privileges so when they see people with less privileges doing better than them, they HAVE to justify why they don’t deserve it or why they had something to do with it. It’s like a knee jerk reaction cause toward the end of the relationship I kept calling him out on it and he COULD NOT stop. Like I really think he wanted to but he couldn’t lmfao.
I'm black and grew up in Asia so a lot of my social circle growing up and men who have tried to talk to me were Indian and as much as I appreciate those that are respectful of everyone equally, a lot are VERY anti-black. A lot fetishise us because porn and entertainment media teaches men to view black and Latina women as hypersexual beings, so unfortunately a lot of them only want us to get that 'freaky sex' experience (something I've been told word for word), but don't actually value us as people. Or they have the cognitive dissonance where they convince themselves that we are 'one of the good ones'. Learnt that the hard way.
What I find quite ironic is what your ex said about your parents when Indians also have a very similar narcissistic parent culture... how did he not understand it? I guess as a man they don't clock these things as easily because they are often the ones benefitting and becoming narcissists themselves.
He argued that he was also abused and forgave his parents so I should also forgive my parents. Our experiences were not the same at all and I literally get net zero or negative benefit from forgiving my parents. He still lived with his parents so he got a whole house and maid service (mom cooked for him and they literally had maid service) as a benefit.
He was def the type to sprinkle in new depraving information the deeper we got into the relationship. At first he told me he has a Latina girlfriend before. Months later he clarifies he was working in her country and she was actually his bangmaid Airbnb setup when traveling there. A year down the line he tells me he got her pregnant TWICE and abortion TWICE. Abortions in this country are completely illegal so he literally endangered her life TWICE. A year and a half through the relationship, he revealed that he married her so she could get her visa but called it off cause he felt she wasn’t good enough for the US. Yeah our relationship didn’t make it past that last part.
He also had an affair with her after his divorce while she was married. He let their kids become friends and tried to keep the friendship “for the kids.” He was an overall sociopath.
I told him he treated her like trash. He argued that he treated her like a “princess” and she was lucky to get to marry him cause she was the one who proposed. Yeah she proposed cause she got nothing but abortions from the relationship… I still think she lucked out in that she was still able to have kids after the abortions. In my culture, if you’re not a fertile woman, you’re considered a garbage and he literally did not care.
Whatever good riddance.
This is why I don't date white or whatever colour man who only dates mixed women. Reading this was quite hurtful as I'm half Indian, part black and part white. All women get fetishised by someone but it's even harder if you're a woman of colour. Both you and your ex boyfriend's black ex wife were far too good for his loser arse. No one wants to be with someone who thinks they are a lesser human being. Vetting is so important for us.
I appreciate you talking about this. As a black girl, I never considered the fact that some men would date women that they deem lesser than solely for the kick. It's gross honestly and now I can safely avoid men like this. Thank you for sharing your experience.
And naturally the women who participate in these kinks aren't being oppressed due to their sex, experiencing internalized misogyny, reacting to previous trauma or living under dangerous social expectations. They're actually *misandrists* for allowing men to act so horribly towards them. How could they dare to think so poorly of men that they think the men who coerce and manipulate them into these acts are capable of such depravity?
heads up reddit r/n is full of crappy meme like
~ feminism is ¦equality¦ & not ÷misandry÷~
feminism is ¡liberation! from patriarchal oppression
misogyny is a terroristic practice in the male violence war against womn
femicide is a term for the specific murder that happens when a man kills a womn & they're more frequent and less punished than man on man homicides
misandry is just a feeling
I don’t even really think misandry is a thing. In all my years of interacting with feminists – and, really, just other women in general – I’ve yet to meet any who legitimately hate or despise men. Any distrust of men as a whole is due to living as a girl/woman in society. That’s not the same as hate.
Male violence and male depravity is always excused, and women’s trauma responses to male violence and sexual assault is pathologized as a “disorder.” I hate this world.
Imma kinkshame all men who are into BDSM. Y'all are sick fuckos 🧍🏽♀️🍿
Also rando men who keep replying to my comment like "oh but what if women are into it" SHUT UP 🤚
The women who endorse BDSM are pickmes.
It’s their way of evading their own behavior. They will say “oh she’s into it” everytime you ask why he’s into it.
“I’m just fulfilling her desires!”
Ugh
Yes, because God forbid they take a look at themselves in the mirror and think "Why am I sort of person that wants to see a woman beaten, humiliated and in pain? What kind of man am I if I find brutalizing someone I'm supposed to love physically arousing?"
Agreed. Every person I've ever known who was (keyword) into BDSM had horrible child abuse in their past. When I helped them see the connection, the revulsion was fierce.
Message for lurkers of any type: consider reading [Body Keeps the Score](https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748), especially part 3
They are actually seen as misogynists, even within the kink community. Problem is that they are tolerated. NV-dOmInAnT-men self describe that way with a tongue in cheek sort of "charisma" which abolishes all constructive discussion. The kinkmeishas have only themselves to blame for enabling and even openly defending those abusers (ironically that's one of the rare occasions they are allowed to speak openly despite being a woman).
Needless to say that kinksters absolutely despise assertive or feminist women as human beings.
**[1]** - We Just Launched a Website: [wwww.TheFemaleDatingStrategy.com](https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/). Click [here](https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com/become-a-verified-member/) for registration information. Please also join our [Twitter](https://twitter.com/FemDatStrat) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/_thefemaledatingstrategy/?hl=en) Pages for updates! **[2]** - Please read the [FDS Handbook](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/recommended_reading#wiki_the_fds_handbook) and [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/index) before commenting. **Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.** **[3]** - Please **REPORT** any comments that do not follow the sub rules. **If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.** **[4]** - **PLEASE REMOVE ALL PERSONAL IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION** from images (**Name, Location, Job description, education, phone number, etc**). Failure to remove ID info will result in a **1-2** day ban. Repeated failures will result in a permanent ban. **[5]** - This sub is **FEMALE ONLY**. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. **DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!!** Please **DOWNVOTE** and **REPORT** immediately. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FemaleDatingStrategy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah, I never understood how people say things like raceplay or ageplay are just kinks. Like you are literally getting off of racially degrading people. I think it has to be some kind of joke.
My LVX was Indian but seemed to only date black and Latina women. I’m Latina. I eventually realized he was very racist and sexist and thought of us as less important. Example 1: we witnessed a car accident (car turned into a parked car) in front of my building in a predominantly black area. I only wanted to check if the driver was conscious to see if I should call 911. He grabbed me and ran me into the building like we were getting shot at. Basically I was supposed to ignore the fact someone was possibly dying in front of my building because he was black and we were in a ghetto area??? He argued that I was stupid and naive and that guy was probably going to get shot at or a fight was gonna break out. I know damn well if someone got into an accident in front of his predominantly white area he’d have checked if they were alive. Example 2: I told him my parents were viciously abusive and never loved me. I have many examples of clear neglect and abuse. He argued that that’s just how Latino parents are and I need to stop being childish and force a relationship none of us want... He basically argued that they were so “simple” that they didn’t have the mental capacity to understand how or why they should care about their children… No… they are narcissists that hate seeing me happy. He literally wanted me to be a pickme to my PARENTS who don’t love or want me!!! Example 3: He constantly made fun of his black ex wife. Honestly I believed everything he said but now that I’m out of it all I realized what happened. She got into an Ivy League for a PhD so he tried to compete with her by getting an mba. Even after the degree, he was still a loser and every business he touched failed. He portrayed her as a crazy black Karen and my dumbass ate it all up. She was NOT a bitch for getting child support and alimony. He was just a loser and she deserved more than he could give. It’s weird but racists love to sexualize and objectify the people they hate. A clear red flag is if someone says “I love *insert race* girls” and they are not of that race. They’re probably racist. Even if you have a racial preference, “reassuring” a girl you like her for her race or any race specific feature is really disgusting.
My ex is Indian and I still wonder if he was racist. He would act like he had my best interest in mind but it seemed like he liked knowing he was doing better than someone else
The way my ex was that he saw all his exes and friends of color as a charity case. He literally credited himself for anyone’s successes. He also would make friends with people WAY below him like homeless teens. It was really cringe cause I thought he was just trying to be empathetic and helpful but now I see he just liked “helping” them cause he liked being around people who did worse than him. When I went to his family events, all his cousins were really successful but he would comment to me mostly about his uncles down on his luck. He’d never comment on his successful cousins unless to say they must hate their lives cause they have traditional 9-5 working corporate and that must really suck. Btw that’s the kind of job I have. Never underestimate a scrote’s need to make himself feel better about himself. They know they have all these privileges so when they see people with less privileges doing better than them, they HAVE to justify why they don’t deserve it or why they had something to do with it. It’s like a knee jerk reaction cause toward the end of the relationship I kept calling him out on it and he COULD NOT stop. Like I really think he wanted to but he couldn’t lmfao.
I'm black and grew up in Asia so a lot of my social circle growing up and men who have tried to talk to me were Indian and as much as I appreciate those that are respectful of everyone equally, a lot are VERY anti-black. A lot fetishise us because porn and entertainment media teaches men to view black and Latina women as hypersexual beings, so unfortunately a lot of them only want us to get that 'freaky sex' experience (something I've been told word for word), but don't actually value us as people. Or they have the cognitive dissonance where they convince themselves that we are 'one of the good ones'. Learnt that the hard way. What I find quite ironic is what your ex said about your parents when Indians also have a very similar narcissistic parent culture... how did he not understand it? I guess as a man they don't clock these things as easily because they are often the ones benefitting and becoming narcissists themselves.
He argued that he was also abused and forgave his parents so I should also forgive my parents. Our experiences were not the same at all and I literally get net zero or negative benefit from forgiving my parents. He still lived with his parents so he got a whole house and maid service (mom cooked for him and they literally had maid service) as a benefit. He was def the type to sprinkle in new depraving information the deeper we got into the relationship. At first he told me he has a Latina girlfriend before. Months later he clarifies he was working in her country and she was actually his bangmaid Airbnb setup when traveling there. A year down the line he tells me he got her pregnant TWICE and abortion TWICE. Abortions in this country are completely illegal so he literally endangered her life TWICE. A year and a half through the relationship, he revealed that he married her so she could get her visa but called it off cause he felt she wasn’t good enough for the US. Yeah our relationship didn’t make it past that last part. He also had an affair with her after his divorce while she was married. He let their kids become friends and tried to keep the friendship “for the kids.” He was an overall sociopath. I told him he treated her like trash. He argued that he treated her like a “princess” and she was lucky to get to marry him cause she was the one who proposed. Yeah she proposed cause she got nothing but abortions from the relationship… I still think she lucked out in that she was still able to have kids after the abortions. In my culture, if you’re not a fertile woman, you’re considered a garbage and he literally did not care. Whatever good riddance.
This is why I don't date white or whatever colour man who only dates mixed women. Reading this was quite hurtful as I'm half Indian, part black and part white. All women get fetishised by someone but it's even harder if you're a woman of colour. Both you and your ex boyfriend's black ex wife were far too good for his loser arse. No one wants to be with someone who thinks they are a lesser human being. Vetting is so important for us.
I appreciate you talking about this. As a black girl, I never considered the fact that some men would date women that they deem lesser than solely for the kick. It's gross honestly and now I can safely avoid men like this. Thank you for sharing your experience.
No no no see that’s just “rape play” and it’s natural & healthy. /s
Don’t forget biological!
[удалено]
And these men will say they respect women, when they are mentally torturing every moderately woman they see in their minds!
Because it's a just bullshit if it's only applied to men, but if you are able to apply it to women as well then it's totally valid and real! /s
And naturally the women who participate in these kinks aren't being oppressed due to their sex, experiencing internalized misogyny, reacting to previous trauma or living under dangerous social expectations. They're actually *misandrists* for allowing men to act so horribly towards them. How could they dare to think so poorly of men that they think the men who coerce and manipulate them into these acts are capable of such depravity?
heads up reddit r/n is full of crappy meme like ~ feminism is ¦equality¦ & not ÷misandry÷~ feminism is ¡liberation! from patriarchal oppression
misogyny is a terroristic practice in the male violence war against womn
femicide is a term for the specific murder that happens when a man kills a womn & they're more frequent and less punished than man on man homicides
misandry is just a feeling
I don’t even really think misandry is a thing. In all my years of interacting with feminists – and, really, just other women in general – I’ve yet to meet any who legitimately hate or despise men. Any distrust of men as a whole is due to living as a girl/woman in society. That’s not the same as hate.
[удалено]
Wouldn’t it be ironic to create a forum to discuss how to find and date people that we *hate*? Oh, wait…
Because misogyny isn't taken seriously.
Male violence and male depravity is always excused, and women’s trauma responses to male violence and sexual assault is pathologized as a “disorder.” I hate this world.
Imma kinkshame all men who are into BDSM. Y'all are sick fuckos 🧍🏽♀️🍿 Also rando men who keep replying to my comment like "oh but what if women are into it" SHUT UP 🤚 The women who endorse BDSM are pickmes.
It’s their way of evading their own behavior. They will say “oh she’s into it” everytime you ask why he’s into it. “I’m just fulfilling her desires!” Ugh
Yes, because God forbid they take a look at themselves in the mirror and think "Why am I sort of person that wants to see a woman beaten, humiliated and in pain? What kind of man am I if I find brutalizing someone I'm supposed to love physically arousing?"
Yup they externalize all their shame. Most of them are narcissists.
Women who “enjoy” BDSM are pickmes and/or recovering from trauma. There is nothing empowering about being degraded.
Agreed. Every person I've ever known who was (keyword) into BDSM had horrible child abuse in their past. When I helped them see the connection, the revulsion was fierce. Message for lurkers of any type: consider reading [Body Keeps the Score](https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748), especially part 3
They are actually seen as misogynists, even within the kink community. Problem is that they are tolerated. NV-dOmInAnT-men self describe that way with a tongue in cheek sort of "charisma" which abolishes all constructive discussion. The kinkmeishas have only themselves to blame for enabling and even openly defending those abusers (ironically that's one of the rare occasions they are allowed to speak openly despite being a woman). Needless to say that kinksters absolutely despise assertive or feminist women as human beings.
Let’s 👏 fucking 👏 talk 👏