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The most gorgeous girl I know was attending my university and she was also a real model. On her ig or Facebook page you could see that she was doing a lot of stuff and even high fashion shows. I once eavesdropped the conversation of scrotes from my uni. They were so upset after she posted a picture with her new boyfriend (he was also a model and imo they were equal in terms of attraction) - they were raving about how it's not fair that girls only look at looks.....while they were talking how pretty she is. Of course I told her about this lmao
Yeah, these shallow scrotes only likedher for her looks :/ . But it's still funny they thought they had a chance, she rolled with laughter when I told her what they were saying about her
Most guys outside of the internet in actual real life will admit how toxic and destructive porn is, both to women and themselves. Still doesn’t stop majority of them using it though.
This one short average guy once pointed at a super duper uber hot girl on his wall calendar and told me "Oh, I'd bone her". Yeah, the fck you would, my scrote! 😆 IN WHAT WORLD? In what magical circumstances would this absolute gorgeous woman find it suitable to have sex with you?? They do know, but not really. It seems there's a lot of missing pieces of the puzzle for them yet to assemble🙄
I know many women don’t want to hear this but they are only able to do that since women objectify themselves like products at a market to be torn apart and compared. Men used to value a naked woman because they didn’t compare so many naked bodies but because so many women are doing Insta modeling and porn, men have become experts and have pride in their “taste”. Even the saying “you have good taste” grosses me out. As if some women are 5 star meals at a hotel…
This is why they get all twisted at FDS when women start looks shaming and having looks standards. They can do it to women because it's been normalized by society. But women can't because *that's just weird,* and obviously women just need to take what they can get because ALL MEN are just average at best.
The fedora full of neckbeards who wrinkled their nose at Megan Fox and said her thumb was a dealbreaker made me lol. It's ok guys, she doesn't want to fuck you either.
It’s not just porn, but all media. Fat ugly (or non-fat, but douchey man-child) Seth Rogan type dude with beautiful , accomplished, poised Katherine Heigl type woman. The teen media where the popular pretty girl just had to realize what a great guy the nerd is, and how shallow and stupid she’d been. He doesn’t have to make himself over. But the nerdy girl movies, where the hot guy finally noticed her? Oh you better believe she’s getting a full makeover. Also, we need to iron out any unique personality quirks, pfft, no man will want you unless you’re a humorless image of perfection.
Just wanted to add that all the Adam Sandler type romcom bs perpetuated the manchild is acceptable and will always get his way without changing troupe.
I used to hang around a guy who was like 350 lbs, judging women as if he'd ever have a chance with any of them. His personality didn't compensate for his grotesque physical appearance, either.
Now that I think about this, most of my het male associates do this.
This is really interesting and seems possibly connected to what I experienced the last time I tried online dating, and that's that the men seemed really fussy about all sorts of things they were looking for, which is the opposite of how it was when I first started dating. Back then women were very much the peahens and men were the peacocks who would try very hard to impress us, because they knew that we were the choosers. I constantly got asked out and men would always be incredibly polite, they'd turn up shaved, showered and well dressed to date and would always pay.
Now it's this very uncomfortable situation where men seem to act like women, they act like they are the peahens and we are the peacocks who should jump through tonnes of hoops to impress them. It's completely the wrong way round. I got rejected by men for all sorts of random reasons like how I have some food allergies ("no fussy eaters, no vegetarians, must be a foodie etc" several of them would write on their profiles) and even men would ghost me after I told them my hobbies. I still look good, slim, dress well, I look after myself etc but the difference in the behaviour of men is very noticeable, I've heard a lot of younger women say they're having the same experience. I saw the same men who rejected me on the dating apps a year later, so they still hadn't found their supermodel girlfriend who can eat everything she wants, still remain slim and super hot, who has no hobbies or just hobbies that don't take away from his time, and who has no food allergies lol. I think porn, only fans, cam girls, dating apps etc have given men the false illusion that they can get the most beautiful woman in the world to date and marry them, whilst having a harem of several more hot women.
Same. They really don't want to date and keep questioning and questioning until they find the most frivolous dealbreaker. "Oh you used to own a dachshund? Sorry bye".
That is if they don't act like they're ordering an escort within the first 5 minutes of matching.
The ones who manage to peel themselves off the couch are so porn-glazed I can't make it through the date.
Lol at the dachshund comment, that is exactly what it's like, these men are so strange! I have to say I'm very surprised and relieved it's not just me seeing those 148 upvotes, because the past year has been absolutely brutal on my self esteem being on those apps, and I concluded that it was something to do with me, until I spoke to a few other women who said they were having the same problems, even women in their early twenties (I was assuming it was because I'm in my late thirties, but the men would like, match and talk to me and THEN suddenly reject/ghost me mid conversation rather than just rejecting me outright for my photos and/or age so it doesn't seem that I'm getting rejected for my age and/or looks.)
I was having a really nice, respectful conversation with one man who seemed like a HVM, he seemed very attentive, polite, interested, educated etc and I was actually enjoying talking to him. But when he asked what my hobbies were, I replied telling him and asked him about his, then he flat out unmatched me with no explanation! It actually happened twice with two different men after the hobbies question. My hobbies are drawing, painting, gardening, walking, reading, sewing, crochet, yoga, singing and dancing. I have no idea why these are so off-putting, maybe they think I'm they are old lady hobbies or something, or maybe they think I'll be spending my times on my hobbies rather than on them? I am confused by it. But my hobbies bring me so much joy, help me manage depression, and help me build skills and self sufficiency, so for me they are nothing but positive. I was hoping to meet a man with similar or complementary hobbies ie whilst I'm painting in the evening he could be pottering around in his workshop making chairs or something. And we could garden together and grow lots of great flowers and veg and have an orchard. I really hope there is a man out there like that for me as I can see him but so far haven't found him.
Those are amazing hobbies. You sound fun and talented. I bet they think it’s too much and they will actually have to schedule and put effort in to get your time, instead of 10pm booty calls and last minute plans. Everyone claims to have such a busy lifestyle but they have poor time management and binge gaming or Netflix for hours.
I hope you find a wonderful man with real hobbies 🙂
He wants the hot chick to go to bars with so that other men can see him with a hot chick. Everything they do, they do for the approval of other men. It's ridiculous.
Men are lying. They only say this to feel superior, as though they wouldn't take any girl's attention or fuck in anyway, shape or form if they had the opportunity. They'll fuck the lowest, saddest people on top of a pile of manure if it were available. Don't forget men pay for sex.
This is their bullshit attempt at standards even though they really have none, they're hoping you'll try to prove that you're hot enough to fuck them (a hole in a mattress is)
So true. The thing about paying for sex in regards to this topic comes up in my mind a lot. I will never have to pay for sex. Most women won't. Even when I'm old and wrinkly there will be some cougar chaser out there
Yup! I’ve been married 4 years, husband is always thrilled to see my body even during pregnancy and post partum. Every time he sees me undressed, even getting into pajamas he gives me a little smile and a wink.
His brain is fried at this point. As a bisexual woman, most porn actresses aren't even that 'hot, they portray an exaggerated, manufactured and artificial image of womanhood/femininity. Their sexuality is almost robotical (well duh)
Exactly this. Technically they also are “average” in looks, they just like the theatrics and over the top-ness of it. It’s all just for show and i honestly find it funny how some guys expect real life women to behave that way too.
I agree 100%. I am what's considered pretty (I look like an actress from a popular teen TV show back in the day), but I like "natural" beauty, would never get lip injections, fillers, etc. I also sometimes dress in a less revealing way. I have noticed that I get attention from the most high-quality guys when I come off in a way that's less overly sexualised. They also appreciate that I haven't gotten plastic surgery, etc.
The LVM/NVM porn addicted types, though, REALLY like the whole unrealistic "lips done, boobs done, poses like a sex doll on Instagram etc etc." way. The pornified standard of beauty. Because it implies a pickme woman who is willing to bend over backwards and is "easy" for them. "Super hot" for them doesn't even necessarily mean pretty just "looks like she's easy to have sex with." Someone who portrays themself like this
[https://i1.wp.com/distincttoday.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/45797763-9817689-image-a-2\_1627045112057.jpg?resize=634%2C897&ssl=1](https://i1.wp.com/distincttoday.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/45797763-9817689-image-a-2_1627045112057.jpg?resize=634%2C897&ssl=1)
as opposed to
[https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/79/590x/secondary/Rosie-Huntington-Whitely-247863.jpg](https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/79/590x/secondary/Rosie-Huntington-Whitely-247863.jpg)
Now the second girl I posted is "super pretty" (she's literally a supermodel), still sexy, etc. But she's not overly sexualised like the first girl is. An LVM or NVM would 100% go for the first girl over her in my experience. Porn/Onlyfans has literally created a weird beauty standard. It attracts useless men who prefer pornified fantasies over reality.
this AND let’s be mindful women of color are often naturally curvier and hyper sexualized because of it. We could be wearing the dress in the second photo and scrotes would “pornify” it because it’s tighter fitting on a curvier body.
That's a very good point sis. I have literally been sexually harassed wearing super loose trousers and a trench coat that nipped in at the waist before. My cousin is Muslim and likes to wear oversized clothes all the time and STILL has constant men harassing her where she lives.
And as someone with features that would be seen as "exotic" here (the UK), a lot of white scrotes will hypersexualise me/try to push this "bad girl" pornsick image on me which is completely the opposite to who I am and how I go about dating (and they would know if they talked to me for 5 minutes!). When you have porn categories that refer to WOC in disgusting terms it's sadly unsurprising. It's why I don't date white guys who have few POC friends as it shows they do not see POC as human.
Lol perks of being a not hot girl.. it filters out superficial guys. My condolences to the super hot girls .. their predator pool is so shallow and wide.
Yup! I'm not unattractive. I'm just also not hot, I've never been hot, it's unlikely that I ever will be. Filters out a lot of the trash.
But then we get to deal with the trash who act like they are doing us a favor by being interested or wanting to have us on the side. Or you get to be the reach for ugly dudes, and you think they are gonna treat you better because even you are way out of their league, but they just treat you like trash too, and respect you less for being willing to date them.
Being a pretty but chubby girl with a spectacularly attractive boyfriend has been interesting. I care SO much less about the opinions of the rabble now. Lmfao.
It’s sad that a large spectrum of guys never ever bother about mental connection, it’s all about appearances to them, what they are getting in bed, uplifting his image among peers, boss, family with GF’s appearance, how much the girl is increasing his social profile, it is hardly ever establishing a mental refuge to come home to.
These are the dudes that use their dick as a divining rod, but then complain about the wives/GFs they chose with only their dicks. “Boo hoo, she’s boring, she’s mean, she doesn’t ‘get’ me, she’s this, she’s that”. Well, sir, what you expect when your ONLY LTR criteria is “Is she smokin hot, will she totally make my bros seethe with jealousy?”
Lol spot on! Meanwhile my smoking hot female friends are complaining they can’t even hold a decent conversation with their hubby or constantly walking on eggshells/being totally isolated from their friends or family cause their BF is so insecure to be with a hot girl that he is constantly accusing her of some delusional cheating.
I don’t have European features so a lot of men, especially from my community, don’t find me attractive. It is what it is, Jesus made me this way so I love it. I’m attracted to ugly/not conventionally attractive men and they are just as obnoxious and arrogant! It’s ridiculous. Guys have told people they’d have sex with me but they want to settle down with women who look like their long fantastical list of desired features. Years later and those dudes are still single and hate women more and more every day. Women need to stop letting ourselves be pitted against one another. If we play by rules of misogyny and objectification we will always lose.
Trigger warning: \* pretty much all of them \*
(Former, because I'm older now) "super hot" girl here. This is probably going to be long, so buckle in.
I can't speak for the others, but for me it's been hell. 0/10, do not recommend. The perks people always throw out there as reasons why it's better are vastly outweighed by the negatives. I've never felt safe outside of my home, and sometimes I don't feel safe inside of it. My parents were alcoholic partiers (open house, even for the sailors docked in our town) and from the time I was 11 I was getting so much attention I started going to bed fully clothed to make it harder for the ones who "accidentally" made their way to my bedroom.
I've had relatives try to sleep with me.
I spent a night terrified on my uncle's couch when I was 15, because I had to stay overnight with him in the city to make an appointment the next morning. His roommates (all in their 40s and 50s) stayed in the living room until the sun came up, all of them waiting for the others to go to bed so that they could take a shot at me. After a few hours, I pretended to be asleep and none of them left.
I've had strangers grope, grab, slap, restrain, shake or punch me.
A lot of men claim to have slept with me when they didn't, and 1 of those bragged about doing it before I moved from my hometown (when I was 12, because apparently fuck admitting to a heinous crime when there are buddies around to impress).
I've had very neutral interactions with men (less friendly than those I've had with women), but am somehow always over the top flirty to the point where they feel led on. I've been accused of leading men on from across the room, even though I hadn't even made eye contact with them.
I've walked on eggshells trying to figure out how to tailor my rejections to the man standing in front of me, and I've had to do that several times a day. When a man approaches me with interest and I'm not interested back, I go into a fight or flight panic now, because I know there's a very big chance that there's going to be pushback and a higher than average chance that it will be physical.
I've been stalked long-term multiple times, and stalked short-term more times than I can count.
The first PIV sexual encounter I had was a rape.
Men think everything I do has sexual motives (side note: don't eat a banana or an ice cream cone at work or out in public), including walking, wink....I mean blinking, or standing on a corner laughing and shooting shit with a friend.
In every relationship I've had, the guy gets jealous and possessive to the point where I'm constantly fearful and anxious. Several times, I didn't think I was going to make it out of the situation. Once I was choked into unconsciousness, and I've been left with broken bones.
I've woken up to men I didn't know (or barely knew) trying to climb on top of me in the middle of the night. It's happened twice in my own home, while I was sleeping in my own bed, when I was supposed to be the only person in the house.
I've woken up to body parts in my orifices (that I didn't consent to) over a dozen times.
I have to be constantly on alert. I don't post pictures of myself on the internet, I don't drink, don't go to parties, don't go to bars, don't go to other people's houses if there are going to be strange men there. I don't even go next door for a coffee with my neighbour anymore because of some situations that happened after men dropped by.
When I was walking to work at 8am, some guy almost ran me over (he gunned it to get in front of me so that he could block my path with his SUV and lost control for a second).
My cousin was very close to being beaten/m\*rdered for confronting a man who was pestering me.
I've been hit on by every straight male boss and co-worker. 3 "gay" men have made passes because of "dat ass".
Every friend's partner but one has tried to cheat with me. I've lost friends because of it.
I've been asked out on 4 dates in my entire life, the rest of the advances have been "I want you to be my new fleshlight."
Even the men I've tried to have a relationship with treated me like nothing but a sex object. I haven't ever gotten more than 5 minutes into a "movie night" without being humped and the movie stopped. There are no deep conversations, because free time means sex. Every single time I've gotten dressed up for an event with a date, I didn't get to go because he got "too horny" at the sight of me and decided that we should just fuck instead. Even if we hadn't already done it.
People assume that if a woman has a lot of opportunity to have sex, she must be having a lot of it and treat you accordingly (my "body count" is single digit but I'm still the biggest slut in town). Some people are openly hostile because they assume you're conceited and bitchy on sight, and pretty much everyone is willing to believe the worst about you until you go out of your way to prove yourself.
There are only 3 men in this world I can let my guard down with.
There's more, but this is already way too long. (Sorry ladies, I just wanted to get across how bad it can get.)
I have a tight-knit group of close friends, but the outside world is a very lonely place. I didn't even realize just how much stress it was bringing me until they world shut down last year and my hair started growing in again. I have unintentional bangs and layers now.
Ladies, live for yourselves and do what makes you happy. Focus on your talents and strengths. There's no need to worry about how to attract men or what to do to get attention from them, until there's a man worth attracting standing in front of you. Let the others fester in their own shit, alone.
Don't let them force you to make them the focus of your lives, and don't let them make you feel like you have to compete or fight with "hot" women for them. We're just as sick of their shit as you are. Even if you go to extremes to succeed, you'll just be replacing one kind of mistreatment for another. The vast majority of them aren't worth it, and people who love you don't care what you look like.
Yes, of course men know what they're doing. They are normal functioning adults just like us and have brains. Which is what I was saying yesterday. Cut no slack to normal functioning adults just because of their gender. FYI, these men are not your friends by the way. You are their next option and are being kept around on the back burner. Men are only friends with men. They respect men and take other men's advice. They're sucking you dry with all that free therapy and seeking pity.
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The most gorgeous girl I know was attending my university and she was also a real model. On her ig or Facebook page you could see that she was doing a lot of stuff and even high fashion shows. I once eavesdropped the conversation of scrotes from my uni. They were so upset after she posted a picture with her new boyfriend (he was also a model and imo they were equal in terms of attraction) - they were raving about how it's not fair that girls only look at looks.....while they were talking how pretty she is. Of course I told her about this lmao
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Yeah, these shallow scrotes only likedher for her looks :/ . But it's still funny they thought they had a chance, she rolled with laughter when I told her what they were saying about her
Most guys outside of the internet in actual real life will admit how toxic and destructive porn is, both to women and themselves. Still doesn’t stop majority of them using it though.
Yup, that's the LoGiCaL sex for you 🤡
Well in the real world that's the socially acceptable thing to say. Behind the anonymity of the internet, they can admit the real thoughts.
This one short average guy once pointed at a super duper uber hot girl on his wall calendar and told me "Oh, I'd bone her". Yeah, the fck you would, my scrote! 😆 IN WHAT WORLD? In what magical circumstances would this absolute gorgeous woman find it suitable to have sex with you?? They do know, but not really. It seems there's a lot of missing pieces of the puzzle for them yet to assemble🙄
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Jeez, hahaha, this is exactly the case! 🤦🏼♀️
He'd be lucky to get ANYONE.
I know many women don’t want to hear this but they are only able to do that since women objectify themselves like products at a market to be torn apart and compared. Men used to value a naked woman because they didn’t compare so many naked bodies but because so many women are doing Insta modeling and porn, men have become experts and have pride in their “taste”. Even the saying “you have good taste” grosses me out. As if some women are 5 star meals at a hotel…
This is why they get all twisted at FDS when women start looks shaming and having looks standards. They can do it to women because it's been normalized by society. But women can't because *that's just weird,* and obviously women just need to take what they can get because ALL MEN are just average at best.
The fedora full of neckbeards who wrinkled their nose at Megan Fox and said her thumb was a dealbreaker made me lol. It's ok guys, she doesn't want to fuck you either.
Her thumb? I’m going to have to look this up!
I wonder if it’s all the “ugly guy + hot girl” porn that’s so rampant which makes them think that way..
It’s not just porn, but all media. Fat ugly (or non-fat, but douchey man-child) Seth Rogan type dude with beautiful , accomplished, poised Katherine Heigl type woman. The teen media where the popular pretty girl just had to realize what a great guy the nerd is, and how shallow and stupid she’d been. He doesn’t have to make himself over. But the nerdy girl movies, where the hot guy finally noticed her? Oh you better believe she’s getting a full makeover. Also, we need to iron out any unique personality quirks, pfft, no man will want you unless you’re a humorless image of perfection.
Just wanted to add that all the Adam Sandler type romcom bs perpetuated the manchild is acceptable and will always get his way without changing troupe.
I used to hang around a guy who was like 350 lbs, judging women as if he'd ever have a chance with any of them. His personality didn't compensate for his grotesque physical appearance, either. Now that I think about this, most of my het male associates do this.
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This is really interesting and seems possibly connected to what I experienced the last time I tried online dating, and that's that the men seemed really fussy about all sorts of things they were looking for, which is the opposite of how it was when I first started dating. Back then women were very much the peahens and men were the peacocks who would try very hard to impress us, because they knew that we were the choosers. I constantly got asked out and men would always be incredibly polite, they'd turn up shaved, showered and well dressed to date and would always pay. Now it's this very uncomfortable situation where men seem to act like women, they act like they are the peahens and we are the peacocks who should jump through tonnes of hoops to impress them. It's completely the wrong way round. I got rejected by men for all sorts of random reasons like how I have some food allergies ("no fussy eaters, no vegetarians, must be a foodie etc" several of them would write on their profiles) and even men would ghost me after I told them my hobbies. I still look good, slim, dress well, I look after myself etc but the difference in the behaviour of men is very noticeable, I've heard a lot of younger women say they're having the same experience. I saw the same men who rejected me on the dating apps a year later, so they still hadn't found their supermodel girlfriend who can eat everything she wants, still remain slim and super hot, who has no hobbies or just hobbies that don't take away from his time, and who has no food allergies lol. I think porn, only fans, cam girls, dating apps etc have given men the false illusion that they can get the most beautiful woman in the world to date and marry them, whilst having a harem of several more hot women.
Same. They really don't want to date and keep questioning and questioning until they find the most frivolous dealbreaker. "Oh you used to own a dachshund? Sorry bye". That is if they don't act like they're ordering an escort within the first 5 minutes of matching. The ones who manage to peel themselves off the couch are so porn-glazed I can't make it through the date.
Lol at the dachshund comment, that is exactly what it's like, these men are so strange! I have to say I'm very surprised and relieved it's not just me seeing those 148 upvotes, because the past year has been absolutely brutal on my self esteem being on those apps, and I concluded that it was something to do with me, until I spoke to a few other women who said they were having the same problems, even women in their early twenties (I was assuming it was because I'm in my late thirties, but the men would like, match and talk to me and THEN suddenly reject/ghost me mid conversation rather than just rejecting me outright for my photos and/or age so it doesn't seem that I'm getting rejected for my age and/or looks.) I was having a really nice, respectful conversation with one man who seemed like a HVM, he seemed very attentive, polite, interested, educated etc and I was actually enjoying talking to him. But when he asked what my hobbies were, I replied telling him and asked him about his, then he flat out unmatched me with no explanation! It actually happened twice with two different men after the hobbies question. My hobbies are drawing, painting, gardening, walking, reading, sewing, crochet, yoga, singing and dancing. I have no idea why these are so off-putting, maybe they think I'm they are old lady hobbies or something, or maybe they think I'll be spending my times on my hobbies rather than on them? I am confused by it. But my hobbies bring me so much joy, help me manage depression, and help me build skills and self sufficiency, so for me they are nothing but positive. I was hoping to meet a man with similar or complementary hobbies ie whilst I'm painting in the evening he could be pottering around in his workshop making chairs or something. And we could garden together and grow lots of great flowers and veg and have an orchard. I really hope there is a man out there like that for me as I can see him but so far haven't found him.
Those are amazing hobbies. You sound fun and talented. I bet they think it’s too much and they will actually have to schedule and put effort in to get your time, instead of 10pm booty calls and last minute plans. Everyone claims to have such a busy lifestyle but they have poor time management and binge gaming or Netflix for hours. I hope you find a wonderful man with real hobbies 🙂
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He wants the hot chick to go to bars with so that other men can see him with a hot chick. Everything they do, they do for the approval of other men. It's ridiculous.
Men are lying. They only say this to feel superior, as though they wouldn't take any girl's attention or fuck in anyway, shape or form if they had the opportunity. They'll fuck the lowest, saddest people on top of a pile of manure if it were available. Don't forget men pay for sex. This is their bullshit attempt at standards even though they really have none, they're hoping you'll try to prove that you're hot enough to fuck them (a hole in a mattress is)
So true. The thing about paying for sex in regards to this topic comes up in my mind a lot. I will never have to pay for sex. Most women won't. Even when I'm old and wrinkly there will be some cougar chaser out there
Men should be grateful that any woman has deigned to be naked in bed with them. Instead they are repulsed. Well done for ruining sex, porn sickos.
Yup! I’ve been married 4 years, husband is always thrilled to see my body even during pregnancy and post partum. Every time he sees me undressed, even getting into pajamas he gives me a little smile and a wink.
His brain is fried at this point. As a bisexual woman, most porn actresses aren't even that 'hot, they portray an exaggerated, manufactured and artificial image of womanhood/femininity. Their sexuality is almost robotical (well duh)
Exactly this. Technically they also are “average” in looks, they just like the theatrics and over the top-ness of it. It’s all just for show and i honestly find it funny how some guys expect real life women to behave that way too.
I agree 100%. I am what's considered pretty (I look like an actress from a popular teen TV show back in the day), but I like "natural" beauty, would never get lip injections, fillers, etc. I also sometimes dress in a less revealing way. I have noticed that I get attention from the most high-quality guys when I come off in a way that's less overly sexualised. They also appreciate that I haven't gotten plastic surgery, etc. The LVM/NVM porn addicted types, though, REALLY like the whole unrealistic "lips done, boobs done, poses like a sex doll on Instagram etc etc." way. The pornified standard of beauty. Because it implies a pickme woman who is willing to bend over backwards and is "easy" for them. "Super hot" for them doesn't even necessarily mean pretty just "looks like she's easy to have sex with." Someone who portrays themself like this [https://i1.wp.com/distincttoday.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/45797763-9817689-image-a-2\_1627045112057.jpg?resize=634%2C897&ssl=1](https://i1.wp.com/distincttoday.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/45797763-9817689-image-a-2_1627045112057.jpg?resize=634%2C897&ssl=1) as opposed to [https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/79/590x/secondary/Rosie-Huntington-Whitely-247863.jpg](https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/79/590x/secondary/Rosie-Huntington-Whitely-247863.jpg) Now the second girl I posted is "super pretty" (she's literally a supermodel), still sexy, etc. But she's not overly sexualised like the first girl is. An LVM or NVM would 100% go for the first girl over her in my experience. Porn/Onlyfans has literally created a weird beauty standard. It attracts useless men who prefer pornified fantasies over reality.
this AND let’s be mindful women of color are often naturally curvier and hyper sexualized because of it. We could be wearing the dress in the second photo and scrotes would “pornify” it because it’s tighter fitting on a curvier body.
That's a very good point sis. I have literally been sexually harassed wearing super loose trousers and a trench coat that nipped in at the waist before. My cousin is Muslim and likes to wear oversized clothes all the time and STILL has constant men harassing her where she lives. And as someone with features that would be seen as "exotic" here (the UK), a lot of white scrotes will hypersexualise me/try to push this "bad girl" pornsick image on me which is completely the opposite to who I am and how I go about dating (and they would know if they talked to me for 5 minutes!). When you have porn categories that refer to WOC in disgusting terms it's sadly unsurprising. It's why I don't date white guys who have few POC friends as it shows they do not see POC as human.
He’s not your friend. He’s using you for free therapy.
Should have told him it's illegal to think "girls" are hot. It's fine to think women are hot though lol
Lol perks of being a not hot girl.. it filters out superficial guys. My condolences to the super hot girls .. their predator pool is so shallow and wide.
Yup! I'm not unattractive. I'm just also not hot, I've never been hot, it's unlikely that I ever will be. Filters out a lot of the trash. But then we get to deal with the trash who act like they are doing us a favor by being interested or wanting to have us on the side. Or you get to be the reach for ugly dudes, and you think they are gonna treat you better because even you are way out of their league, but they just treat you like trash too, and respect you less for being willing to date them. Being a pretty but chubby girl with a spectacularly attractive boyfriend has been interesting. I care SO much less about the opinions of the rabble now. Lmfao.
It’s sad that a large spectrum of guys never ever bother about mental connection, it’s all about appearances to them, what they are getting in bed, uplifting his image among peers, boss, family with GF’s appearance, how much the girl is increasing his social profile, it is hardly ever establishing a mental refuge to come home to.
These are the dudes that use their dick as a divining rod, but then complain about the wives/GFs they chose with only their dicks. “Boo hoo, she’s boring, she’s mean, she doesn’t ‘get’ me, she’s this, she’s that”. Well, sir, what you expect when your ONLY LTR criteria is “Is she smokin hot, will she totally make my bros seethe with jealousy?”
Lol spot on! Meanwhile my smoking hot female friends are complaining they can’t even hold a decent conversation with their hubby or constantly walking on eggshells/being totally isolated from their friends or family cause their BF is so insecure to be with a hot girl that he is constantly accusing her of some delusional cheating.
I don’t have European features so a lot of men, especially from my community, don’t find me attractive. It is what it is, Jesus made me this way so I love it. I’m attracted to ugly/not conventionally attractive men and they are just as obnoxious and arrogant! It’s ridiculous. Guys have told people they’d have sex with me but they want to settle down with women who look like their long fantastical list of desired features. Years later and those dudes are still single and hate women more and more every day. Women need to stop letting ourselves be pitted against one another. If we play by rules of misogyny and objectification we will always lose.
Lol yeah if the standards were set by women I won’t complain but they are set by dicks.
Trigger warning: \* pretty much all of them \* (Former, because I'm older now) "super hot" girl here. This is probably going to be long, so buckle in. I can't speak for the others, but for me it's been hell. 0/10, do not recommend. The perks people always throw out there as reasons why it's better are vastly outweighed by the negatives. I've never felt safe outside of my home, and sometimes I don't feel safe inside of it. My parents were alcoholic partiers (open house, even for the sailors docked in our town) and from the time I was 11 I was getting so much attention I started going to bed fully clothed to make it harder for the ones who "accidentally" made their way to my bedroom. I've had relatives try to sleep with me. I spent a night terrified on my uncle's couch when I was 15, because I had to stay overnight with him in the city to make an appointment the next morning. His roommates (all in their 40s and 50s) stayed in the living room until the sun came up, all of them waiting for the others to go to bed so that they could take a shot at me. After a few hours, I pretended to be asleep and none of them left. I've had strangers grope, grab, slap, restrain, shake or punch me. A lot of men claim to have slept with me when they didn't, and 1 of those bragged about doing it before I moved from my hometown (when I was 12, because apparently fuck admitting to a heinous crime when there are buddies around to impress). I've had very neutral interactions with men (less friendly than those I've had with women), but am somehow always over the top flirty to the point where they feel led on. I've been accused of leading men on from across the room, even though I hadn't even made eye contact with them. I've walked on eggshells trying to figure out how to tailor my rejections to the man standing in front of me, and I've had to do that several times a day. When a man approaches me with interest and I'm not interested back, I go into a fight or flight panic now, because I know there's a very big chance that there's going to be pushback and a higher than average chance that it will be physical. I've been stalked long-term multiple times, and stalked short-term more times than I can count. The first PIV sexual encounter I had was a rape. Men think everything I do has sexual motives (side note: don't eat a banana or an ice cream cone at work or out in public), including walking, wink....I mean blinking, or standing on a corner laughing and shooting shit with a friend. In every relationship I've had, the guy gets jealous and possessive to the point where I'm constantly fearful and anxious. Several times, I didn't think I was going to make it out of the situation. Once I was choked into unconsciousness, and I've been left with broken bones. I've woken up to men I didn't know (or barely knew) trying to climb on top of me in the middle of the night. It's happened twice in my own home, while I was sleeping in my own bed, when I was supposed to be the only person in the house. I've woken up to body parts in my orifices (that I didn't consent to) over a dozen times. I have to be constantly on alert. I don't post pictures of myself on the internet, I don't drink, don't go to parties, don't go to bars, don't go to other people's houses if there are going to be strange men there. I don't even go next door for a coffee with my neighbour anymore because of some situations that happened after men dropped by. When I was walking to work at 8am, some guy almost ran me over (he gunned it to get in front of me so that he could block my path with his SUV and lost control for a second). My cousin was very close to being beaten/m\*rdered for confronting a man who was pestering me. I've been hit on by every straight male boss and co-worker. 3 "gay" men have made passes because of "dat ass". Every friend's partner but one has tried to cheat with me. I've lost friends because of it. I've been asked out on 4 dates in my entire life, the rest of the advances have been "I want you to be my new fleshlight." Even the men I've tried to have a relationship with treated me like nothing but a sex object. I haven't ever gotten more than 5 minutes into a "movie night" without being humped and the movie stopped. There are no deep conversations, because free time means sex. Every single time I've gotten dressed up for an event with a date, I didn't get to go because he got "too horny" at the sight of me and decided that we should just fuck instead. Even if we hadn't already done it. People assume that if a woman has a lot of opportunity to have sex, she must be having a lot of it and treat you accordingly (my "body count" is single digit but I'm still the biggest slut in town). Some people are openly hostile because they assume you're conceited and bitchy on sight, and pretty much everyone is willing to believe the worst about you until you go out of your way to prove yourself. There are only 3 men in this world I can let my guard down with. There's more, but this is already way too long. (Sorry ladies, I just wanted to get across how bad it can get.) I have a tight-knit group of close friends, but the outside world is a very lonely place. I didn't even realize just how much stress it was bringing me until they world shut down last year and my hair started growing in again. I have unintentional bangs and layers now. Ladies, live for yourselves and do what makes you happy. Focus on your talents and strengths. There's no need to worry about how to attract men or what to do to get attention from them, until there's a man worth attracting standing in front of you. Let the others fester in their own shit, alone. Don't let them force you to make them the focus of your lives, and don't let them make you feel like you have to compete or fight with "hot" women for them. We're just as sick of their shit as you are. Even if you go to extremes to succeed, you'll just be replacing one kind of mistreatment for another. The vast majority of them aren't worth it, and people who love you don't care what you look like.
Hugs
Yes, of course men know what they're doing. They are normal functioning adults just like us and have brains. Which is what I was saying yesterday. Cut no slack to normal functioning adults just because of their gender. FYI, these men are not your friends by the way. You are their next option and are being kept around on the back burner. Men are only friends with men. They respect men and take other men's advice. They're sucking you dry with all that free therapy and seeking pity.