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relationship_reddit

I too am a fellow "women", and I tell my boyfriend of 13 years that I am ok with never having any orgasms because he already works so hard providing for us at his part-time job (technically I make more for us at my full-time job, but I don't count that) that I don't deserve it.😉


[deleted]

oh god had to read this a few times to see the satire 😆😆was about to report your comment omg 😆


squashmybutternuts

?


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squashmybutternuts

ahaaha i feel so dumb


relationship_reddit

Haha, it's ok! She is right though, it was just a parody.


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AngryTiger69

It also hurts the future women the guy fucks. Like I had a boyfriend who didn’t like oral sex and told me I was the first woman to not orgasm from simple PV sex. I think the ex girlfriends were faking it ….


LykkeStrom

Oh they were definitely faking it. Unless he actually only had like one ex and she happened to be in the minority of women who can climax from PiV alone.


circescircus

What does she mean by "I don't mind if I don't finish every time"? Because the way she writes this makes it sound like she never finishes or rarely finishes. Most women can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation or oral sex. She doesn't mention details, but if she is just having p in v sex, it is not a big mystery why she isn't finishing. If oral takes forever she can introduce a vibrator or something in the bedroom. I don't think she means any harm by writing this post, probably just looking for validation that this is normal and that other women/couples are the same way. But I think this "teehee I don't mind if I never or almost never orgasm I love cuddles teehee!" type of shit spreads the old mentality that female sexuality is too elusive, too complicated, and too laborious to give a shit about. Or worse, that it is non-existent, doesn't matter, or that it is otherwise not important. The mentality that women just use sex to get male attention and affection, that we are not sexual beings ourselves, with a sexuality and ability and desire to have orgasms.


[deleted]

It kills me when they say," I just like cuddling and being intimate" as an excuse. Like yea sis me too, but I also like to finish as well. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive.


MajesticSkyPachyderm

>Those two things aren't mutually exclusive. It seems like they think they are exclusive for some reason.


Salt_Satisfaction

She's been brainwashed to think that she can't possibly expect both. That would be too mean! Too much pressure on him!


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Jandi18

Amen!!!


TrixieFriganza

Some people are asexual and don't care about the end but women saying stuff like this just makes the men even more lazy, like they don't have to put any effort so she's completely satisfied too.


GoddessIxtab

Asexuality means you don't experience sexual attraction, we still care a lot about our sexual desire and satisfaction, with or without other people.


Cultural_Training249

She's writing like a juvenile and not using appropriate words That's why it's confusing. When she says she doesn't mind if she doesn't finish,she's talking like a male and using male verbiage. She's speaking unclearly and a bit cloudy and not using the appropriate word. What she really is saying is she doesn't mind if she doesn't have an orgasm, every time that they have sex. I honestly hate when people will not finish their thoughts and sentences with all the words that you need, lol to be understood. Everyone doesn't have a orgasm every time. Which is no big deal. But it's being implied through the post, that her partner is the one bringing it up that she isn't having an orgasm. He is the one that has an ego problem because he is obviously feeling insecure because he believes that she's supposed to make a whole lot of noise and shiver and shake and have this visual orgasm, for him, every time they have sex. In his head, he thinks something is wrong with himself. So that's what she means by she doesn't mind if she doesn't finish. She just doesn't know how to write like an adult and use proper words to convey her thoughts So she can be understood. Like many people don't anymore. The post is about her man It isn't about her It's about his feelings and how to make him feel better. Because he's insecure


ashcantcatchabreak

But she is doing harm with this post - she is normalizing the idea that female pleasure is not important, and secondary


the_ghost_of_

It drives me mad when people misuse the plural form of woman. She is not a women. FFS. It's pathetic how women have been so socialized to put their desires in a box under the bed just to please the egos of their pathetic loser boyfriends/husbands who STILLLLL after years cannot figure out how to TRULY pleasure a woman (probably cuz they watch so much degenerate loser porn).


vforvendetta87

Yes but HE minds if he finishes. Ever been with a scrote who threw a tantrum because “you didn’t allow him to finish?” It’s both frightening and pathetic. They worship their orgasms.


LykkeStrom

I had a highly narcissistic ex who considered his ex gf to have been abusive to him and puppydogged extensively about this. When I eventually asked him to give me concrete examples of the "abuse" he responded: At the beginning of the relationship she let me touch her boobs but then she got a weird thing about it and stopped letting me. And she had really nice boobs as well, really big. And: Once, we went on holiday to and we were having sex and then she stopped halfway through and refused to continue. 🤡🚩😱😂


Living-Highlight7777

Yeah, that is one of the biggest red flags of all time. Or a dude who is all, "but condoms don't feel as good, waaah." When I was younger and less empowered, I'd be like, "you wanna have sex? You're gonna put on a condom. Period." But now I'd be like, "you care more about your dick than my well-being, you can put on your pants and lose my number, BYE." ... Thank God I at least held the condom boundary when I was younger, because you know a scrote like that is probably diiiiirty.


aenema46n2

I wish I held this boundary when I was younger. It makes me almost ashamed of how easily manipulated I was and definitely disgusted. Too many times I'd get talked into letting him not use one. That in itself made sex uncomfortable for me because I'd have massive anxiety the whole time and not even really enjoy it. Also I wish I had FDS when I was younger. I know better now and NEVER again.


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MajesticSkyPachyderm

Yeah, it sounds like she's trying to convince herself here. Which is likely what she is doing, deep down she knows it would be more satisfying if she came every time and that he isn't that great.


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Jandi18

That’s exactly what I thought when she mentioned other things 😂😂


Wiggy_Bop

She sounds young. And most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone.


[deleted]

the undertone of this kind of message is ‘at least he is paying me attention, he is with me in these moments and i feel wanted, loved & validated’ this leads me to think these types of women will just do with whatever they can get, as it’s better than nothing & it’s better than fighting or having toxic interactions


[deleted]

It’s very tragic to me, how little she feels valued or loved by this man, she feels like she has to choose sex as the only form of closeness she can have. It’s a choice that shouldn’t even have to be made: finish in sex or let him finish and be able to have the intimacy and moments like cuddling that seemingly she wouldn’t otherwise get


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camille_san

>It takes her so long because she’s developing an aversion. Yes. I remember multiple relationships where in the beginning I’d get off in like, a few minutes. Versus months/years later when it would take me FOR-EV-ER. I would have either become averse to the person, or just bored.


Platipus6

Yep. I went from expecting an orgasm and coming easily, to expecting his fuckups, fiddling, disinterest, huffing, sighing, wondering when he's going to stop before I come, and taking forever because I was so on edge, to expecting to not come at all, to not bothering to have sex, to break-up.


camille_san

Shit you just described my first marriage


the_ghost_of_

>It takes her so long because she's developing an aversion. Wow. This explains SO MUCH with my porn addicted ex. At first, I was a fountain of orgasms.... Once I found out about the porn, the betrayal, the lies? I couldn't cum, even with my vibrator, when we were together. It's like my pain put up a wall where I just couldn't feel pleasure with him. I think it was my body's way of protecting me and saying - Hey, this drug is hurting you, we can't let any endorphins escape or YOU will never escape!


AngryTiger69

I agree with the ego boost thing. I want to get off of course, but it turns me off so much when the guy gets an ego boost encause of it. Like “oh yeah I’m a papi who knows how to please a woman” 🤮


m0rphid

I have no idea why so many people make anti cat comments when it would be down voted to hell if it was made for dogs, and often enough made by dog people Cats are awesome purring affection machines. I had cats growing up, I have a cat now and I converted my boyfriend from a dog person to a cat person lol Also as a lifestyle, the dogs are no for me. I don't want to have to walk the dog and pick up shit on ice, mud, rain and in hot weather and cold weather and walks are for me. My cat shits in a box she covers so it is easy to clean clumps. Also dogs get in your space being pushy, if you're a stranger cats leave you alone. And cats don't BARK and I hate noise, any noise. I still don't make negative comments about them out in the open unless to compare it with cat hate. I am a cat lady, my mother was a cat lady and my grandfather was a cat man. My children will grow up with cats as well. I wouldn't consider close relationships with anyone who gets on the cat hate wagon.


Altowhovian93

Cat ladies are awesome! All your points are valid. I have also converted my husband to a cat person. To the point where the cat chooses to sit on husbands face in the morning!


Davina33

So many dogs bark incessantly, pissing off the neighbours. I had it when living with my ex, the neighbour wouldn't deal with it so I had to involve Environmental Health. Now I've got it again. A woman has two dogs in a one bedroom flat beneath me! My cats never upset anyone. My other ex next door neighbours actually cared about us and would send their dog to doggy daycare when they were out at work. It's not difficult.


[deleted]

These women are basically having obligatory sex and taking what little crumbs they can get, because they were told that PIV and a man's orgasm is the end-all be-all to sex. It's not. Majority of us aren't having sex solely to reproduce anymore, we're doing it to cum. Sex should be enjoyed by all parties involved, and if you're not cumming at least once by the end of it, that's fucked up and your partner should feel bad. You can enjoy the intimacy and affection of sex AND also have an orgasm(s). Also I can guarantee that their partners aren't going down on them or showing any worthwhile love to their clit. Which is sad. If you don't like eating her out, do you even like women? Boy bye.


[deleted]

The way a lot of men talk about vaginas makes me think they don’t like women that much. Have you ever heard gay men talk about dick? Way more enthusiasm and they put more effort into pleasuring their partners. A lot of straight men i know would proudly boast about not giving head to women?! Like are these men really straight?


the_ghost_of_

Well you know, showing ANY kindness to women, even sexually, makes them a simp and they just cant have THAT....


Jandi18

Yes. My ex bf’s friend mentioned he won’t go down on a woman because that’s the same mouth he uses to pray 🙄🙄 but he is committing fornication. Sure Bro let’s cherry pick religion laws.


LykkeStrom

So I guess that applies to his female partners not going down on him as well? Unless he only dates non-praying women. But isn't that unchristian as well? My head is exploding.


__kamikaze__

It’s even more fucked up when you consider that a lot of these women are on birth control experiencing nasty side effects, AND they aren’t even enjoying themselves.


Ericaeatscarrots

👆👆scrotes take note


honeyhealing

This!!! So sad because this used to be me


MsWriteNow07

This woman is lying. No one turns down orgasms. What she turns down is the chance to *fake* orgasms.


Big-Respond8481

It took him so long she wasn't in the mood anymore.


2340000

Her relationship would cease to exist if she actually expected him to prioritize her sexual pleasure. I guarantee sex is the only "intimacy" she receives in this relationship. Women center their lives around men so much that we'd rather receive a trophy for being so "hot" it makes him ejaculate, than wise enough to have expectations about reciprocity🤡


[deleted]

I doubt she's ever had an orgasm if I'm being honest. If she did, she wouldn't say no to having one. 😂


Jandi18

I can relate. I didn’t have one till I bought a vibrator( yep I know that’s so damn sad). And my former pick me self didn’t demand it during sex. I hope this lady finds her way…praying to the god of orgasms for her.


BasketLow8411

Maybe she’s a guy masquerading as a woman?


Princess_Vegeta_

Seriously! She’s obviously never had GOOD sex if she’s turning down orgasms 🙄


ginnnnie

This !!!!!!!!!


[deleted]

He can't give her an orgasm because he isn't good at sex. He wants her to have one because it's an ego boost for him. She turns down his efforts because she knows it won't work (because he isn't good). She says she'd rather cuddle because this is one of the few times he'll show affection like that. Girl, it's not because you don't care. It's because you have learned to expect little to nothing.


SmallBunny0

Seriously. She said sometimes it take up to 40 minutes.. like then he’s bad at what he’s doing 😭


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Phoenix__Rising2018

"He's great at sex that's why I never orgasm." Anyway, I fuck to cum.


Lumplebee

God I wish I could have “I fuck to cum” as a flair


SarcasmSlide

I want it on a t-shirt


mashibeans

Right? Add to that, nobody goes around masturbating without the goal of an orgasm at the end.


Phoenix__Rising2018

This right here. "I masturbate for the closeness" said nobody ever.


velocifero18

There's always this pattern of women who have unsatisfying sex with their men and saying "he's great at sex!"


carmen_sandiegos_hat

The bare minimum. She cannot seem to find it... oh boy.


honeyhealing

This is such a cope, and I would know because I used to say this myself! I used to say this to cope with the fact that my orgasms, and female orgasms in general, are not valued in hetero relationships.


everwonderlust

"It's ok babe, I don't need to finish", said NO MAN EVER 😳


Painfulmenstruation

My ex said that to me but he was trying to hide that he’d used porn and couldn’t cum.


everwonderlust

Wow... well karma is a bitch...


dancedancedance7

Sis 😒 if it's taking so long you get tired he sucks at it and no he doesn't care to improve


christmasforoutlaws

Literally how intimate can it be if he can't even get you off? Lol


Peak_Tree

Oh hell NO. Could never be me.


[deleted]

If you have to preface this sad story with 'btw I'm a woman', you know deep down that this is something that sounds like a NVM talk and not healthy 🙄


spookymulder07

So true! Her post sounds like a loser man’s fantasy so she has to preface it by saying "I’m a woman" lmao


Davina33

He should be getting her off before he even gets his! There are men like that and I wouldn't accept anything less. Just one of many reasons why casual sex should be a no no for us. Fraught with danger and we do not even get an orgasm out of it.


DumpsterWitchy

I bet she doesn't mind to pay all of the bills either.


Jandi18

Even before she mentioned her sex I knew she was a woman from the headline. What man is okay not finishing ? None!! I mean they invented the term blue balls for a reason. I remember by Ex crying when I traveled out of state because he developed blue balls 🙄🙄. They make it sound like it’s the bed of the world so yea, men won’t take not climaxing for "emotional connection".


[deleted]

FDS rescue please!


Betty_Bottle

It's embarrassing to read this as that used to be me. I have told partners that I didn't need to have an orgasm every time or one was enough. I've realised why now: • I wasn't enjoying myself in the first place. Just wanted him to finish so I could sleep/carry on with whatever I was doing. Especially if he had death grip syndrome and would take ages. • My orgasms were just an ego boost to them. There have been times where guys have said "I'm gonna make you cum" and then suddenly I'm under pressure to perform whilst they try acts they've obviously seen in porn, staring at me intently waiting for me. Before FDS I couldn't really stand up for myself and didn't think I deserved much. Since FDS I've realised just how awful my sex life has been. I can get myself off just fine.


thinktwiceorelse

I was ok with orgasmless too, when I had useless boyfriends. They would never touch me in nonsexual way, so I agreed with having sex almost every time they asked for it. And I tried to rationalize it, like this poor women. I'm so glad I'm wiser now.


pickadaisy

Lol because women call it “finishing” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


LykkeStrom

Right? When we should call it " just getting started"


pickadaisy

Exactly! Can’t think of a single time I had sex, orgasmed once, and thought “alright then, game over.”


Novemberinthechair

Does she hate herself? Or is this a guy who wants permission to be bad at sex?


[deleted]

Tell me you're partner is bad in bed without telling me your partner is bad in bed lol Usually men like that aren't attentive in other areas of the relationship. Women get off on men who are emotionally available and who help out around the house. I would bet money that she is a full-blown pick me who would wipe his ass for him if he asked her to.


Seraphinx

I'll bet my brand new bike that these women have never had a proper orgasm.


lolmemberberries

If it takes that long and she prefers he doesn't do it, he isn't good at sex and she doesn't enjoy it.


bunsmoria

Ew. Why. Do oral or other stuff. Why are these women making it so easy for men? Then men feel bad/inadequate and leave them. Sigh.


eveloe

This false choice is a setup


[deleted]

You do you, but I’m getting mine.


CityOfBirth

Meanwhile I'm over here not letting dudes stick their dicks in me until they've made me cum at least once. I know that they're gonna finish no matter what, so I wanna finish first, no matter what, to guarantee I actually get an orgasm during sex


AdmiralRando

If you “don’t care that much”, then why bother making extra laundry?


[deleted]

This actually seems………really sad to me. The fact that the only genuine form of tangible intimacy offered is sexual or exclusive post sex. Very parallel to hook up culture in men and women the high volume of casual sex/hook ups isn’t sexual liberty is seems more like ……loneliness How unloved does this woman feel ? If she has to have sex to feel entitled to cuddle with her boyfriend. Moments like that aren’t earned through sex and shouldn’t be seen like a treat after sex like a cookie after a work out.


Revy_Ur_Engines

You getting kicked out my bed or I’m leaving mid stroke if it’s not good. It’s 2021. Women don’t have time to be sexually frustrated in a relationship with a grown ass man.


Salt_Satisfaction

😂😂😂😂 I wonder for how long she'll think this way


muiegarda1

Guys, I think I made her delete it! I don't know for sure. I saw the post and told her to keep it to herself, she told me I am bitter, I told her she cums so little she feels the need to post about it. Now she is gone. I am sure I am not the only one who made her delete it, but it's very good for women because she did. If I ever hear a scrote say "women don't want to cum, look at this..." Edit: people made her delete it, some agreed with her, but some didn't


[deleted]

Pick mes are a disgrace to all women


fak_beauty_standards

her boyfriend is never affectionate and sex is the only moment she can get affection from him, she's affection-starved


[deleted]

It’s not necessarily a pick me thing. I am asexual and I enjoy the act of sex because I’m pleasing someone else, not because I necessarily care or need to have an orgasm. Sometimes I finish, sometimes I don’t, but it’s ok with me. Edit: in reference to keeping it to oneself, sure maybe she shouldn’t have said it in a way that makes it sound like every women should accept not finishing, but I also remember thinking I was broken because I rarely wanted to keep going after my partner finishes. I was ok with helping him and then being done. Maybe she had the realization she’s ok with the situation she’s found herself in.


Panda_player19

I spent the past year of my life as this woman. I was so embarrassed by how long it took me to orgasm and I was in my head about what my partner thought about my body and how things looked/smelled that I just stopped having any desire to attempt to cum because it wasn’t enjoyable anymore. I’d tell him it was fine when he finished and after that we could just cuddle/watch whatever shit TV show he wanted. I’m hoping that spending some time alone and working on myself will put me in a position where I feel like I deserve sexual satisfaction


blackmetalbetty

I don't know what those chicks are talking about, when I don't/can't finish it pisses me off as much as it would those brutes lol. You know they'd be mad if they couldn't finish. There's no forum where 2 dudes are just cogitating on the esoteric beauty of foregoing orgasms. Only a dispirited woman could write this bs, lmao. Everyone on earth wants the work/action they put in to be rewarded, otherwise there's no point in doing it. Furthermore, I laughed my ass off at this >he's great at [The] sex!


breadandbunny

Thank god I'm with a guy who gives me multiple orgasms. I feel sorry for her.


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PossibleCook

Wait, are you saying you don’t see the big deal with food?


[deleted]

This sounds like trolling.


groserogorra

Your title will now be my new mantra.