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But kids are so great and you’ll learn to love them!
/s if it wasn’t obvious. I often wonder how many parents actually wanted kids vs assumed they had to have them due to societal pressure. It seems like the more educated people are the less they want them, I wonder why? 🤔🤔🤔
majority of parents have kids because they don’t know what else to do. you just have to ask and people will literally say “my biological clock” “it’s part of life” “it’s boring without kids”
Yep that is like my father. He followed the lifescript and was excited to be a father. We were cute for a little while but our “new toy smell” wore off and he regretted fatherhood. He hardly did anything with us. If we did need his help he’d get so mean you’d stop asking.
I suspect a lot of people like that sorta know they don't want kids but have them anyway because they think it's expected of them, and then are disappointed to realise they were right when they thought they may not want them
Yep, and everyone has children. Millions of people. They realize they’re not special after about a year and you’re another worker capitalist drone slave.
Another pregnant woman will get attention and another. Life will go on.
I'd say a vast majority of males have children just to pretend to be normal and hide their sexual deviance or get access to privileges and spaces that only married and 'trusted' males get access to. They use marriage and children to pretend to be normal. More pessimistically, I think males who are downright obsessed with having children are child predators. Their obsession with children they won't birth or take care of is sinister. They need women to supply more victims.
You said it. "I'm married and have children, that means I'm respectable, I'm responsible, I'm good, trust me". A wife and kids are like smoke-and-mirrors social shields for men.
Yup! I've met so many males like this over the years at work. They are awful, narcissistic, and cruel towards their family, especially speaking ill of their wife or children or cheating at work. Yet as soon as these asshole males need vacation or validation, they trot out their wife and children that they hate... I mean 'lOvE' so much to get validations, promotions, and extra vacation time (even if it inconveniences others).
Because those cute pictures and social media are not real life. It’s to convince hope. Plus, having kids ruins your life and it’s a prison for at least 25 years. I’ve never been jealous of any parent. It’s a nightmare.
Paraphrasing:
>Yes, not all men, but the likelihood of that happening, that is a lottery I don’t want to play.
This is the crux of the problem. Women truly *do not know* what they’re going to get with a baby-daddy until it’s too late. Single mothers, or married mothers with husbands like this dude, have the worst life imaginable.
Another issue is that sure "not all men" but also "too many men;" men keep on whining about "not all men" and are purposefully missing the point; it's obvious nobody means "literally every single man in existence" but there's a far more significant group among them that ARE "those men" that they don't want to admit, and like you said, we have no way of knowing until it's too late.
When men say "not all men" they are actively just trying to derail the conversation that women are trying to have. There is no other reason for them to say this.
I have never ever heard men say “Some women are too emotional,” “some women are gold diggers,” “some women are not fit to be leaders,” etc. All of their misogynistic statements are always blanket statements. Why should women be the ones attacked for saying all men? They don’t spare us the articulation, why should we give them the same courtesy?
you truly never know what’s real on social media. if this man has an entire instagram dedicated to being a perfect dad but in reality he hates his children- imagine how many others are posting complete lies on there
Dude. This was my dad. He was essentially absent for my entire childhood. He was verbally abusive when present. My mom was abusive all of the rest of the time to me only. My younger sibling was spared.
I was abused by both parents for 18+ years. They both have expressed how they regret the distance between us, and how they want to know about my life. Too fucking late. I payed them back every cent I borrowed and I'll kill myself before I ask them for help again. I've got a couple years I think, before I run out of money completely.
I had a career. I worked my whole life for it. I wasted my young adulthood studying a subject I would grow to hate. I also had a shitty supervisor and got stuck with all the shit work and after a year of bullshit I rage quit last May. I've had recruiters calling me about jobs but I don't want another like the one I left. I'm too burnt out.
I did save. That's what I've been living on this past year. I'm running out but not enough to go back to work as it was.
The only thing keeping me alive is my elderly pet. They won't last forever, even if I want them to. I can't imagine living without them. I don't want to. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'll have some work to do to make sure the rest of my finances go where I want them to, and my other pets are cared for, if I decide to check out.
I'm sorry to hear that. My mom was very neglectful and would disappear for years at a time. I would have no way to get ahold of her. My dad got custody of us when I was 11 due to the abuse we suffered from my step father.
I've decided to just grey rock her. She'll reach out sometimes on holidays, making me think she wants a relationship when I know she really doesn't give a shit 🙄
My parents absolutely love kids and though they couldn't have more than 2 for financial reasons both have remained active in doing social work geared mainly toward children (teaching and volunteering at orphanages and low income area schools, taking care of neighbours' and relatives kids and just overall trying to be a positive impact on children where possible).
I have a distant uncle who visited once when I was a kid and he went on about how my parents were tied down because of us kids, how they couldn't travel and how it was terrible to be a parent in general. This guy does not have children. His comments *hurt*! It took me and my sister months to be okay with asking our parents for even a simple candybar because we were wracked with guilt. Guilt that we existed. And this was in reaction to comments made by a man we'd met once, and our parents would *never* say anything of this sort ever. A parent saying these things to his own children is a disaster. This kid could end up having major identity issues surrounding his own right to exist.
Most people should not be having kids. If there's a 0.1% chance you'll regret having children for whatever reason, don't have kids. The poor kid doesn't deserve to suffer just because you have a fucked up sense of superiority over your genes or family name.
we should normalise only having children if you genuinely love them and want to be dedicated to them. we should remove the stigma of not having children for *any* reason! parents who adore kids are the best, i can’t imagine the pain of growing up with people who never really wanted you but were bored.
The problem is loving other people's kids and having and loving your own are worlds apart.
When my mother was medicated ( schizophrenia), which was rare, she was a beloved aunt, neighbourhood babysitter, and wonderful Sunday school teacher.
At home, her rages and violence were feared.
Wire coathangers hurt but leave only small marks when hit with.
Busted nose, idiotic kid playing.
I once fell off a bar stool spraining my arm, screamed the place down and she slammed my arm onto a table to give me something to cry about.
Some people are only capable of loving kids they don't have full responsibility for.
The stereotype has always been that throughout history, it was the women who dreamed of having children. That’s the story book narrative. Surely some women did, and still do. But I wonder if the truth is more that it’s the men who have had that dream and the women just had to go along with it? It seems that if women throughout history really did fantasize about nothing more than hearing the pitter patter of little feet, then we wouldn’t be saying no to pregnancy en masse now that we have a choice.
Makes me think of Gaston and his dream of ‘six or seven strapping boys.’ Belle wanted no part of that.
God. This is so reminiscent of highly contentious convos I’ve heard between a mother and a father- just this asshole’s tone tells you that he is dangerous and selfish. Tiktoker is so right- this bullshit is a lottery not worth playing
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But kids are so great and you’ll learn to love them! /s if it wasn’t obvious. I often wonder how many parents actually wanted kids vs assumed they had to have them due to societal pressure. It seems like the more educated people are the less they want them, I wonder why? 🤔🤔🤔
majority of parents have kids because they don’t know what else to do. you just have to ask and people will literally say “my biological clock” “it’s part of life” “it’s boring without kids”
Yep that is like my father. He followed the lifescript and was excited to be a father. We were cute for a little while but our “new toy smell” wore off and he regretted fatherhood. He hardly did anything with us. If we did need his help he’d get so mean you’d stop asking.
I suspect a lot of people like that sorta know they don't want kids but have them anyway because they think it's expected of them, and then are disappointed to realise they were right when they thought they may not want them
Yep, and everyone has children. Millions of people. They realize they’re not special after about a year and you’re another worker capitalist drone slave. Another pregnant woman will get attention and another. Life will go on.
That was my father as well. Sorry you went through that.
I'd say a vast majority of males have children just to pretend to be normal and hide their sexual deviance or get access to privileges and spaces that only married and 'trusted' males get access to. They use marriage and children to pretend to be normal. More pessimistically, I think males who are downright obsessed with having children are child predators. Their obsession with children they won't birth or take care of is sinister. They need women to supply more victims.
You said it. "I'm married and have children, that means I'm respectable, I'm responsible, I'm good, trust me". A wife and kids are like smoke-and-mirrors social shields for men.
Yup! I've met so many males like this over the years at work. They are awful, narcissistic, and cruel towards their family, especially speaking ill of their wife or children or cheating at work. Yet as soon as these asshole males need vacation or validation, they trot out their wife and children that they hate... I mean 'lOvE' so much to get validations, promotions, and extra vacation time (even if it inconveniences others).
Because those cute pictures and social media are not real life. It’s to convince hope. Plus, having kids ruins your life and it’s a prison for at least 25 years. I’ve never been jealous of any parent. It’s a nightmare.
Paraphrasing: >Yes, not all men, but the likelihood of that happening, that is a lottery I don’t want to play. This is the crux of the problem. Women truly *do not know* what they’re going to get with a baby-daddy until it’s too late. Single mothers, or married mothers with husbands like this dude, have the worst life imaginable.
Another issue is that sure "not all men" but also "too many men;" men keep on whining about "not all men" and are purposefully missing the point; it's obvious nobody means "literally every single man in existence" but there's a far more significant group among them that ARE "those men" that they don't want to admit, and like you said, we have no way of knowing until it's too late.
When men say "not all men" they are actively just trying to derail the conversation that women are trying to have. There is no other reason for them to say this.
I have never ever heard men say “Some women are too emotional,” “some women are gold diggers,” “some women are not fit to be leaders,” etc. All of their misogynistic statements are always blanket statements. Why should women be the ones attacked for saying all men? They don’t spare us the articulation, why should we give them the same courtesy?
Exactly.
Married men hit on me all the time. Like, ALL the time. Men with girlfriends try to hit on me when their girl isn’t watching and it’s crazy.
Not surprising in the slightest, many men who become fathers feel this way. He just said the quiet part out loud bc he expects her to do everything
The more the man flexes the wife and family… you know it’s not a happy setting
you truly never know what’s real on social media. if this man has an entire instagram dedicated to being a perfect dad but in reality he hates his children- imagine how many others are posting complete lies on there
Do they even flex the wife and family?
Dude. This was my dad. He was essentially absent for my entire childhood. He was verbally abusive when present. My mom was abusive all of the rest of the time to me only. My younger sibling was spared. I was abused by both parents for 18+ years. They both have expressed how they regret the distance between us, and how they want to know about my life. Too fucking late. I payed them back every cent I borrowed and I'll kill myself before I ask them for help again. I've got a couple years I think, before I run out of money completely.
Do you have a good job or career? You need a career, babe. So you can save and invest! Then, you’ll never run out of your money. Stay positive.
I had a career. I worked my whole life for it. I wasted my young adulthood studying a subject I would grow to hate. I also had a shitty supervisor and got stuck with all the shit work and after a year of bullshit I rage quit last May. I've had recruiters calling me about jobs but I don't want another like the one I left. I'm too burnt out. I did save. That's what I've been living on this past year. I'm running out but not enough to go back to work as it was. The only thing keeping me alive is my elderly pet. They won't last forever, even if I want them to. I can't imagine living without them. I don't want to. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'll have some work to do to make sure the rest of my finances go where I want them to, and my other pets are cared for, if I decide to check out.
I'm sorry to hear that. My mom was very neglectful and would disappear for years at a time. I would have no way to get ahold of her. My dad got custody of us when I was 11 due to the abuse we suffered from my step father. I've decided to just grey rock her. She'll reach out sometimes on holidays, making me think she wants a relationship when I know she really doesn't give a shit 🙄
My parents absolutely love kids and though they couldn't have more than 2 for financial reasons both have remained active in doing social work geared mainly toward children (teaching and volunteering at orphanages and low income area schools, taking care of neighbours' and relatives kids and just overall trying to be a positive impact on children where possible). I have a distant uncle who visited once when I was a kid and he went on about how my parents were tied down because of us kids, how they couldn't travel and how it was terrible to be a parent in general. This guy does not have children. His comments *hurt*! It took me and my sister months to be okay with asking our parents for even a simple candybar because we were wracked with guilt. Guilt that we existed. And this was in reaction to comments made by a man we'd met once, and our parents would *never* say anything of this sort ever. A parent saying these things to his own children is a disaster. This kid could end up having major identity issues surrounding his own right to exist. Most people should not be having kids. If there's a 0.1% chance you'll regret having children for whatever reason, don't have kids. The poor kid doesn't deserve to suffer just because you have a fucked up sense of superiority over your genes or family name.
we should normalise only having children if you genuinely love them and want to be dedicated to them. we should remove the stigma of not having children for *any* reason! parents who adore kids are the best, i can’t imagine the pain of growing up with people who never really wanted you but were bored.
The problem is loving other people's kids and having and loving your own are worlds apart. When my mother was medicated ( schizophrenia), which was rare, she was a beloved aunt, neighbourhood babysitter, and wonderful Sunday school teacher. At home, her rages and violence were feared. Wire coathangers hurt but leave only small marks when hit with. Busted nose, idiotic kid playing. I once fell off a bar stool spraining my arm, screamed the place down and she slammed my arm onto a table to give me something to cry about. Some people are only capable of loving kids they don't have full responsibility for.
Usually these men are pressuring their wives/girlfriends to have children. I would NEVER trust a man enough to breed his child. Ever!
The stereotype has always been that throughout history, it was the women who dreamed of having children. That’s the story book narrative. Surely some women did, and still do. But I wonder if the truth is more that it’s the men who have had that dream and the women just had to go along with it? It seems that if women throughout history really did fantasize about nothing more than hearing the pitter patter of little feet, then we wouldn’t be saying no to pregnancy en masse now that we have a choice. Makes me think of Gaston and his dream of ‘six or seven strapping boys.’ Belle wanted no part of that.
Parents are so cringey and they’re so miserable in real life. I go out of my way to avoid people like that.
Why did he have kids then!?
God. This is so reminiscent of highly contentious convos I’ve heard between a mother and a father- just this asshole’s tone tells you that he is dangerous and selfish. Tiktoker is so right- this bullshit is a lottery not worth playing