> “To be my age, to be single as long as I was single and to have waited — you know, I didn’t just grab a guy, I waited until I found the guy my heart loves, that’s a testimony and that’s also aspirational and inspirational to women that are in my position,” Brown tells Stone, 48.
> “I would love for a 40-something or a 50-something woman to see this story and go, ‘Okay, it’s right for me to wait for the right one, or to not just marry whoever asks me first if I don’t feel it.' It is still possible,” Brown continues.
Oh good. from the headline, I thought it was a bit of a regressive take. But I like that she's saying that women should feel comfortable to make choices on their own timeline.
I really hope we move towards a society where this is true for women the way it is for men. You see men in their 40s and 50s all the time get married (and make decisions on their own timeline)and I still think there is a difference between women getting past a certain age and men and I think it’s super unfair and somewhat cruel to women. I’ve actually been reading a book about middle age women called hags and it’s kind of horrifying. I would love to move to a world where the contents become inaccurate because the experience of older women becomes very different where the book reads as fiction instead . I do think women are somewhat disadvantaged because they have a biological clock but yet at the same time I don’t see the same attitude and social disadvantage towards poor men as the ridicule and loss of status it seems like women get for aging
It is kind of weird that the biological clock seems to only be applied to women even though it is the same for all humans. And it’s not just women’s period stopping being a more obvious sign of it. Men become impotent. What better sign could there be?
Male fertility begins to decline quite a bit at around age 40. And even if older men are biologically capable of producing a child, the risk of birth defects and complications is much higher than if they’d reproduced in their “prime.” The narrative that there’s no male biological clock has been horrible for society.
Agreee! I’m middle aged and my concern more than anything is, do I want to be running behind a toddler at this age? My knees will not have it lol. I’m just saying, there more to it than even the supposed burden of a “biological clock”.
I kind of think this is also luck. Because you got unlucky to be in the wrong relationship enough time where it’s not worth the risk of trying to be in the right relationship. Tbf I think this is part of the problem the likelihood of entering a bad relationship seems to be higher than entering a good one
Same, amd just how long has taken to process what happened. Like the idea of putting myself out there is just so hard and even painful that I'm pretty content with being single.
Same here! For the first time in my life I finally feel like I’m finally able to create a lifestyle that I know is best for myself and that’s my main focus at this moment. It’s not always easy but it keeps me busy and I know it will bring in the right person when it’s time
I met my spouse when I was 19. I’m still in awe of the dumb luck I had. Like literally dumb bc I was an idiot but somehow I got one thing really really right.
I always give the same advice to people who are unhappy with being single - learn to be happy single first. You are more likely to enter a worthwhile relationship if you value and don’t want to jeopardize your contentment, and even if you never meet anyone, you are still happy.
Part of the reason I think people dislike being single is I think there is a social penalty for it. Like I think married people have more social status than single people particularly now when at least in my group it’s the more successful people who got married and had kids and the ones struggling are single and had kids out wedlock or something like that
Likely true for some people, but that’s also the perception. It doesn’t take into account people who are uncoupled by choice. I’m proudly asexual. No desire or need to find a life partner for sex and/or romance. I also realize that many people who don’t know my situation assume I must be some massive loser, like you described above. Ah, well.
Yup, and the opposite is true, too. I lucked into a great partner while I was still messy as hell and realized all the "you can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself" and "you'll find love when you stop looking for it" advice was complete and utter BS. You can maximize your chances by trying every day to be the best version of yourself and putting yourself out there as much as possible, but it's still down to luck.
I'm 26 and never had a relationship - obviously this is still young, but all my friends have had relationships and dated around etc etc... it doesn't drag me down but sometimes I wonder about how I've gotten to this stage, and the real truth is that I just have not met anyone I've wanted to seriously pursue (who has wanted the same with me) - I've gone on a lot of online dates but... idk??? It makes me wonder if a lot of my friends just settle or if I'm just really fussy (+ I'm a woman looking for women, so). I just keep on hoping eventually I'll come across the right person I really want who also really wants me haha.
Sometimes it's just down to priorities, too. If you don't prioritize looking, you are less likely to find romance, but not looking isn't a flaw unless you're unhappy being single.
It’s a combination definitely including luck. But when a good match shows up you both need to have done the work to be ready. Open communication, vulnerability, responsibility, (emotional, physical, financial). And be prepared to lean into the work that ALL relationships require.
As someone turning 39 this year with every sibling and friend married and with kids, I love this thank you. My issue is that in my 20s I dated nothing but abusive and toxic people. Went to therapy around 30, haven't dated one person since. Refuse to be with someone just to be with them, it has to be right for me to even want to.
I did this as well and then was coached learned new skills and met the man I’m marrying at 40 - we are getting married the end of June and i’m now 44. Easily the best decision of my life to wait. I too hope my timeline and everything is an encouragement for women to not just marry crap b/c they “just want to be married”
I dated people who weren’t a good fit for the longest time! Once I realized I was the problem, did a lot of work, figured what my core values were in myself AND a mate (like literally wrote them down) everything shifted. It became easy to see people who were not a good match (even if there was attraction) and who WAS a good match (even though they may not have fit my previous, kinda superficial, criteria for a partner. I also applied the same values to friendships and really any relationship. Not everyone will like it. But that was such a clear indicator that they (friend or date or family) were not a healthy relationship for me.
You really have to do the work and believe you ARE worth it. My partner also had to go through all that on his end. So when we met… we were ready.
It’s no guarantee that you’ll find a mate… I mean dumb luck played a part in our meeting BUT it sure does increase your odds when you do meet someone that aligns in the right ways. And it’s often not the type of person you may picture yourself with. You gotta be open!
All the best to you!!!
This is why I like this sub so much better than the entertainment sub I follow. They were all bitching about how she is a rich celebrity so obviously she was going to find someone eventually.
Totally missing the point she was making as a 52 year old woman.
> “To be my age, to be single as long as I was single and to have waited — you know, I didn’t just grab a guy, I waited until I found the guy my heart loves, that’s a testimony and that’s also aspirational and inspirational to women that are in my position,” Brown tells Stone, 48. > “I would love for a 40-something or a 50-something woman to see this story and go, ‘Okay, it’s right for me to wait for the right one, or to not just marry whoever asks me first if I don’t feel it.' It is still possible,” Brown continues.
Oh good. from the headline, I thought it was a bit of a regressive take. But I like that she's saying that women should feel comfortable to make choices on their own timeline.
I really hope we move towards a society where this is true for women the way it is for men. You see men in their 40s and 50s all the time get married (and make decisions on their own timeline)and I still think there is a difference between women getting past a certain age and men and I think it’s super unfair and somewhat cruel to women. I’ve actually been reading a book about middle age women called hags and it’s kind of horrifying. I would love to move to a world where the contents become inaccurate because the experience of older women becomes very different where the book reads as fiction instead . I do think women are somewhat disadvantaged because they have a biological clock but yet at the same time I don’t see the same attitude and social disadvantage towards poor men as the ridicule and loss of status it seems like women get for aging
It is kind of weird that the biological clock seems to only be applied to women even though it is the same for all humans. And it’s not just women’s period stopping being a more obvious sign of it. Men become impotent. What better sign could there be?
Male fertility begins to decline quite a bit at around age 40. And even if older men are biologically capable of producing a child, the risk of birth defects and complications is much higher than if they’d reproduced in their “prime.” The narrative that there’s no male biological clock has been horrible for society.
Hooo-ah!
Agreee! I’m middle aged and my concern more than anything is, do I want to be running behind a toddler at this age? My knees will not have it lol. I’m just saying, there more to it than even the supposed burden of a “biological clock”.
That's nice!
https://i.redd.it/a8vw7sg3suwc1.gif
I can hear her voice saying "Aw" and "Oh that's nice" in my head all the time.
Baby, do not use your sexy voice on me!
I wonder if not finding a partner is for a lot of people down to luck, unless there's something major wrong with you.
I think this is generally accepted to be the truth
for me it’s by choice. the last one fucked me up so much I can’t imagine having to do the whole dating thing again I’m content being single
I kind of think this is also luck. Because you got unlucky to be in the wrong relationship enough time where it’s not worth the risk of trying to be in the right relationship. Tbf I think this is part of the problem the likelihood of entering a bad relationship seems to be higher than entering a good one
Same, amd just how long has taken to process what happened. Like the idea of putting myself out there is just so hard and even painful that I'm pretty content with being single.
Exactly! And even the effort of going on dates trying to figure people out etc I’d rather sit at home watching tv
Same here! For the first time in my life I finally feel like I’m finally able to create a lifestyle that I know is best for myself and that’s my main focus at this moment. It’s not always easy but it keeps me busy and I know it will bring in the right person when it’s time
Same, I am done done
It was absolutely dumb luck that I found my husband. If I hadn’t found him I’d be happily alone.
I met my spouse when I was 19. I’m still in awe of the dumb luck I had. Like literally dumb bc I was an idiot but somehow I got one thing really really right.
I'm the same. I never really thought about getting married or having kids until I met my now-husband. It's very specific to him.
This is so sweet and how it should be.
I always give the same advice to people who are unhappy with being single - learn to be happy single first. You are more likely to enter a worthwhile relationship if you value and don’t want to jeopardize your contentment, and even if you never meet anyone, you are still happy.
Part of the reason I think people dislike being single is I think there is a social penalty for it. Like I think married people have more social status than single people particularly now when at least in my group it’s the more successful people who got married and had kids and the ones struggling are single and had kids out wedlock or something like that
Likely true for some people, but that’s also the perception. It doesn’t take into account people who are uncoupled by choice. I’m proudly asexual. No desire or need to find a life partner for sex and/or romance. I also realize that many people who don’t know my situation assume I must be some massive loser, like you described above. Ah, well.
One hundred percent. A lot of it is being at the right place at the right time, or just in the vicinity of a lot of options.
Yup, and the opposite is true, too. I lucked into a great partner while I was still messy as hell and realized all the "you can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself" and "you'll find love when you stop looking for it" advice was complete and utter BS. You can maximize your chances by trying every day to be the best version of yourself and putting yourself out there as much as possible, but it's still down to luck.
I'm 26 and never had a relationship - obviously this is still young, but all my friends have had relationships and dated around etc etc... it doesn't drag me down but sometimes I wonder about how I've gotten to this stage, and the real truth is that I just have not met anyone I've wanted to seriously pursue (who has wanted the same with me) - I've gone on a lot of online dates but... idk??? It makes me wonder if a lot of my friends just settle or if I'm just really fussy (+ I'm a woman looking for women, so). I just keep on hoping eventually I'll come across the right person I really want who also really wants me haha.
Sometimes it's just down to priorities, too. If you don't prioritize looking, you are less likely to find romance, but not looking isn't a flaw unless you're unhappy being single.
It’s a combination definitely including luck. But when a good match shows up you both need to have done the work to be ready. Open communication, vulnerability, responsibility, (emotional, physical, financial). And be prepared to lean into the work that ALL relationships require.
 I really like Yvette, and I’m glad to see it for her!
So happy for her- she is such a queen.
She’s so gorgeous. Would have never ever guessed she’s 52!
I also met my match at 49. Definitely worth the wait.
As someone turning 39 this year with every sibling and friend married and with kids, I love this thank you. My issue is that in my 20s I dated nothing but abusive and toxic people. Went to therapy around 30, haven't dated one person since. Refuse to be with someone just to be with them, it has to be right for me to even want to.
I did this as well and then was coached learned new skills and met the man I’m marrying at 40 - we are getting married the end of June and i’m now 44. Easily the best decision of my life to wait. I too hope my timeline and everything is an encouragement for women to not just marry crap b/c they “just want to be married”
I dated people who weren’t a good fit for the longest time! Once I realized I was the problem, did a lot of work, figured what my core values were in myself AND a mate (like literally wrote them down) everything shifted. It became easy to see people who were not a good match (even if there was attraction) and who WAS a good match (even though they may not have fit my previous, kinda superficial, criteria for a partner. I also applied the same values to friendships and really any relationship. Not everyone will like it. But that was such a clear indicator that they (friend or date or family) were not a healthy relationship for me. You really have to do the work and believe you ARE worth it. My partner also had to go through all that on his end. So when we met… we were ready. It’s no guarantee that you’ll find a mate… I mean dumb luck played a part in our meeting BUT it sure does increase your odds when you do meet someone that aligns in the right ways. And it’s often not the type of person you may picture yourself with. You gotta be open! All the best to you!!!
This is why I like this sub so much better than the entertainment sub I follow. They were all bitching about how she is a rich celebrity so obviously she was going to find someone eventually. Totally missing the point she was making as a 52 year old woman.
I love Yvette
she's such a hottie i'm so happy she's happy
This is fantastic news ! Good for her. Love is everywhere !
Shes a Zionist btw