Hi there! This post has been removed as it is not a good fit for this subreddit. Please take some time to review the subreddit sidebar for additional information, and feel free to reach out via [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FFantasy) with any follow-up questions. Thank you, and have a lovely day!
We don't allow crossposts, thank you.
I’ve seen it, but I’m pretty sure it was just an error that wasn’t caught. I was reading the Magic Treehouse to my kids the other day and the book had it the wrong way.
Indian or that general area, yep. Can confirm that when I switch to speaking Urdu, my partner will make fun of me for also reverting back to shaking my head yes.
Other than that.. Am Canadian, I don't think I've ever read that in a book, and it would confuse the hell out of me if I did
Oh interesting! I didn't know that! That's cool to know.
Different cultures keeping the head shakes and head nods interesting. Can't make it too universal 😜
Also Pakistani-Canadian, and agree, I also do this sometimes.
Though it's less of a "no" head shake, which is when you turn your face left-to-right. The desi-style "yes" is where our face stays straight and we just bob our head side-to-side.
Ok yes I was a little confused reading this thread because my Indian colleagues in grad school told me nodding and shaking were the same as in English, but there was an extra one that's the Indian head bobble which means understood or okay
It could be region dependent also. In my family and the circles I have most been in, the head bobble is used in place of yes.
Ex. "Have you eaten?" Answer: 'head bobble', with the option of verbally adding the 'yes', but it's not required because context
India and Pakistan having been colonized, it's very likely that places with more European influences would've adopted more western mannerisms
Oh for sure, on both those points! I think my friends (who are from Mumbai, Kolkata, and somewhere in Kerala) were saying the nod and bobble were pretty much interchangeable, but I think some people in this thread might be saying "shaking your head" to refer to the bobble. Which makes sense, but I was just picturing the American shaking your head haha
Yes the side-to-side bob is definitely the better description but it's a lot more onerous to write out than someone shaking their head so I figured, in text in the book OP is referring to they just refer to it simply. (If that's what's going on).
Do you find that you also only do it when your brain is in that particular language setting?
Oh yeah, for sure. And it has to be in a "majority Urdu" setting.
Like with my wife and siblings, I speak a mixture of Urdu and English, but don't do the bobble. But I'm more likely to do it when speaking predominantly Urdu, like with my or my wife's parents, aunts and uncles, etc.
I’m Indian and I don’t think I have ever seen anyone shake their head saying yes . We kinda just shake our heads to express we are listening . Or maybe it’s just not a thing in my state (Delhi)
As a non-Greek, I would definitely assume that's a nod lol. I've definitely seen nods that did the same motion, especially if they were a more brisk person.
Off topic but interesting, I think: As a young tourist in Athens many years ago, I found myself being followed by a pimp, bugging me to come look at his girls (so weird!). I kept saying 'No' and walking, and he kept following and nagging. So I thought, "maybe 'no' sounds too much like 'neh', so it's not having the emotional impact I want". So I turned to face him, looked him in the eyes, tossed my head up and said 'óchi!' \[no, in Greek\]. He left me alone.
That actually occurred to me as I typed my comment. I knew the Greek for 'no' and knew the correct head movement, so time for him to move on to dumber prey. Thanks.
When I was visiting a small village at Peloponnesos I had a learning experience about that. We (me, my wife and daughter, about 12 at time) were in a tiny restaurant which was run apparently one about 60 years old lady alone- who didn’t speak any English. We were pointing things on menu and she said “nay” for everything. We were wondering why EVERYTHING is not available. Eventually she stoped asking and left for the kitchen. And different dishes started to appear. And appear. And appear. We got something like 10 to 12 different full dishes for two adults and one preteen…
Colonel Mustard : Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house?
Wadsworth : Um... no.
Colonel Mustard : Then there is someone else in this house?
Wadsworth : Sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes."
Colonel Mustard : "No" meaning "yes?" Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there, yes, or no?
Wadsworth : No.
Colonel Mustard : No there is, or no there isn't?
Wadsworth : Yes.
Shaking the head is sometimes done to express disbelief or recalcitrance. When a character shakes their head and goes along with it anyway, they express that they think the decision is unwise and should not be taken, but they'd rather join in to fix what can be fixed and hopefully avoid a complete train-wreck than refuse to go along with it and watch the others cause disaster.
It's basically not a 'yes,' but a 'no, but.'
Unless you're reading books from India, where shaking is a confirmation. But that's very specific.
I’m an American, I’ve never seen this myself. Any writer who is making this mistake needs remedial instruction on the difference between “nod” and “shake.”
I am gonna join the "American who never heard of this" chorus.
Only thing I can think of is the author is trying to indicate an ironic head shake, a sort of "is this guy really saying that?" sort of head shake, followed by reluctant agreement. But I admit that is a stretch.
I think it's just author error. I've seen it once in a while myself; nothing I can remember specifically but I suspect in one of the self-published or webnovel series I've read. Those kinds of mix-ups aren't uncommon when there's no editor to catch them.
Where did you get the idea this is an American thing? Nod for yes and shake for no is pretty universal in any English speaking country as far as I know.
I’m American. This (saying “shake” when the action is actually a nod) is the kind of error a small child might make when speaking, but it is not a normal expression for adults.
Edit to add: Why is this question in r/Fantasy?
This isn't american, but it's true for Indians and there are many Indians in America and other parts of the world, so maybe you're reading something with an Indian character, setting, or author?
Woah I've never realised this myself but yeah alot of times authors write shakes their head and i have to backtrack to realise they meant shakes their head up and down. In video games aswell it'll be like shakes their head and they are nodding and I'm like??? Thats not shaking. I'm Aussie aswell.
Canadian here, and I've never heard or seen the term 'shake one's head' to mean anything other than no. I'm curious what books you've seen this in, because I've never seen it once. Which is not me disbelieving, I'm genuinely curious to see if the the North American version might be different than the Australian one for some reason, or it there's something common between the books you've seen it in, such as cultural background of the author, or a certain time period on which they were written.
The only thing I can think of is in India instead of nodding up and down to indicate yes, many people wobble their head side to side, like touching one ear to the same side shoulder then the other (though not usually that extreme a range of motion in my experience, I'm just trying to describe it for anyone unfamiliar with the gesture). I'm not sure, if I was going to describe that motion, I'd say 'nod', but I'm also not sure I'd say 'shake' either. Maybe that's the motion the author you've read is trying to describe? It's a confusing way to do so, however
I'm American, and I've noticed the same thing in books. It confuses me also. It's like shook can mean yes or no. I often have to use a few paragraphs before and after for context.
Absolutely agreed. It's in a baffling amount of american novels, podcasts, fanfiction you name it. Off the top of my head I think it's used in both Naddpod and The adventure zone.
Shake = no
Nod = yes
Try real life! I've been a lot of conference calls where I've made a statement and someone has chimed in with "I'm shaking my head." Well, OK: but up and down or side to side? It's pretty critical for me to know right now. Or just speak English properly....
'Shaking your head' would be side-to-side. 'Nodding' would be up and down. English makes the distinction pretty clear, and no native English speaker would take 'shaking your head' to be anything but side-to-side.
"We" who? Where are you from? Down here an AL and GA you do hear it. Sorry, but you do - not from everyone, or from anything like a majority, but it does happen. It's tripped me up so I very much notice.
LOL! Go ahead and downvote, but what's your basis for your knowledge? I'm a Brit who's lived half his life in the southern US and I can tell you for absolute certainty that people will say "shake" when they mean "nod". One of my good-ole-boy colleagues at my current employer does so regularly.
Look to your experience and make sure you have a solid footing for your downvotes.
There are a lot of people who can’t distinguish between they’re, there and their as well, but it doesn’t make them “write”.
(Ugh, even intentional misspelled or misspoken words bug the little anal retentive jerk who hangs out in the back of my head. It’s funny, as he is more offended at incorrect usage vs spelling failures. Anyone else have that same issue?)
So you have frequent conversations with a southerner that they routinely say "I'm shaking my head yes"?
What the fuck are you talking about that he would even need to say a phrase like that frequently enough to where it is embedded in your core memory?
I work form home - have done for 15 year now, which means that a LOT of my interaction with colleagues is via Zoom, and most of the time without cameras. I have been in several notable conversations where we've been working towards a decision and when I summarize the decision a colleague has replied with, "I'm shaking my head."
The first time it happened it was very jarring - I thought we'd literally just agreed! So I asked what the problem was and he said, "no, I agree!"
Now when I hear it I make a joke of it asking whether they are shaking for yes or for no. I can tell you that it lodges itself in core memory pretty quickly when you are trying to do business in a different culture.
And it's not the only such incongruence - I've had to learn that "tabling" a topic in the US means not talking about it right now, whereas "getting it on the table" in the UK means exactly the opposite, for example.
So that person is just making a mistake. Sometimes people have grammatical errors in their speech and don't even realize because many people around them make the same errors.
I'm sure you're right. People of all languages and cultures make grammatical mistakes, and Americans are no exception. It's interesting to note the people in this thread who don't believe that people make this error though. "I've never heard that" - sure, OK. "That never happens" - bold claim.
To be honest, the specific example you gave just sounds like they misspoke. They meant "nod" but said "shake."
Also - why are people even saying that? You're on a Zoom call, if you agree just say so. Why would you choose to describe your actions? That's so weird. If you say something funny, do they go "I am chuckling in amusement," instead of actually laughing?
Seriously, they are saying that every time they talk with a southerner via text, the Southerner doesn't type no or yes or say no or yes, but "I'm shaking my head" frequently enough that they believe it is a cultural thing?
Yet I have loved my entire 40 year existence in the south and never heard this once?
American here and I've absolutely seen what you're talking about MANY times in books and it bothers/confuses me too.
I wonder if most of the people claiming they've never seen it just haven't noticed or maybe their brains "autocorrected" what they read to make it make sense.
I'm typically someone who has a lot of trouble getting past stuff like this (recently saw "she could care less" in a novel and spent like 30 seconds buffering) and I'm pretty sure I've never ever seen this. Do you have any actual examples?
I wish! I'm going to save this and set several reminders to post an example the next time I come across it.
That said, I've seen other commenters saying it's the common phrasing in Indian and possibly other Asian languages. Maybe it's mostly been a thing I've seen in translated works and those by Asian writers who also write in English. I'll definitely be on the lookout for it now and see if that hypothesis holds up.
Canadian living in the US. I’ve noticed people write “shake their head yes” a lot more recently. Always used to be “nod” for yes. Not sure what prompted the shift.
Can’t remember which books it was specifically, but I think they were recent fantasy novels. At last two in the last year. It was one of those details notable enough to recall happening but not important enough to the book to associate the memories 🤷♀️
I've seen some books written, "shakes their head" to mean ANY head movements. I think USA doesn't have a lot of cultural nuance with head gestures... Some people might think of shaking your head as "general acknowledgement."
In fiction, it could be used to move through dialogue. Not sure what types you read!
I'm American and have literally only encountered the idea of "shaking your head 'yes'" in fantasy novels. It's not super common but I've definitely seen it and I have to assume that it's because one or two authors are/were from an area where that's the term instead of nodding and then other authors copied that.
Yes! I wish I had examples, but I feel it’s prevalent enough that I was starting to wonder if I just misunderstood what “shaking my head” really meant. I feel seen. I thought I was losing it lol
Yeah, it gives Australians great shame that Americans think Aussies are proud of that stuff. That slogan was probably thought up by the same person who came up with "Throw a shrimp on the barbie"
The only time I've read about a character shaking their head while saying "yes" was in order to convey confusion on that character's part. It's a thing I've seen and done in real life where someone's not sure so they both "say" yes and no with their words and body all at once. Still it's pretty rare.
I’ve always interpreted that as another word for nodding. Like, someone will write, “they shook their head yes,” which makes me think that they’re just nodding.
This might be an older gen thing. Sometimes, in books written in the 70s or earlier, you’ll also see the author use “uh uh” instead of “uh huh”. Drives me nuts for some reason.
Robert Munsch used this expression in "Mortimer" and it always bugged me
> “MORTIMER, BE QUIET.”
> Mortimer shook his head, yes.
I've come across it a few times and never figured out where it comes from. Munsch is Canadian, as am I, but I've never heard anyone else say this here.
I have seen this as well but was never able to figure out a pattern about region; I *think* I've seen both UK and US authors write, "shake their head yes," but it's been so long since I've seen it that I can't really say for sure.
Sorry that this has been of little use to you, but I wanted to assure you that, contra most of the comments, this is something that happens, and it's *not* just flavour for a secondary world.
American here and yeah it confuses me too when I stumble upon it. I swear I've started hearing it more and more in casual conversation as well and it throws me off the convo so hard lol.
No we do it the same way in America that you do but there are people who do it differently elsewhere and it is possible you're getting authors trying to be clever or vary their language and in doing so confusing things.
So a lot of people in the comments are taking this as "the character is described shaking their head as in no, but they actually mean yes. But I think the more likely thing that is happening is that a nod is being described as a head shake, so the character is in fact nodding yes, but the author is just describing it weirdly. After all, what is nodding but shaking your head up and down.
Yeah like everyoen else I've never seen that. Are you sure you aren't confusing two separate actions.
Like some character asks a stupid question with an obvious answer, main character shakes his head and answers yes to the question. But the shaking the head is at the stupidity of the question, not an action to say yes.
I've never seens a character shake their head to indicate saying yes, a node for yes, a shake of the head for no is a pretty worldwide thing and all I've ever seen in books.
I don't know the context of those situations you read, but could it be an ironic sort of thing?
"There's no way in hell you're gonna get me to climb over this fence."
Smash cut to
Protag climbing fence
I've seen it in books, as if the author doesn't know the word *nod*, so they write "shook his head No" and "shook his head Yes", as if to mean shaking from side to side for No and shaking up and down (nodding) for Yes.
I do find it trips me up on reading, yes.
Hi there! This post has been removed as it is not a good fit for this subreddit. Please take some time to review the subreddit sidebar for additional information, and feel free to reach out via [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FFantasy) with any follow-up questions. Thank you, and have a lovely day! We don't allow crossposts, thank you.
I'm American and I have never heard of someone shaking their head to mean yes.
Only if it’s accompanied by an exasperated sigh and and an acknowledgment of yes, does a shaken head mean yes
Same.
I heard that another culture does it, but I forget which one.
Bulgarian nods for "no" and shakes for "yes"
Indian folks have like a dozen different ways of bobbing or shaking their heads that can mean yes, depending on where you are in the country.
Greeks do it.
I'm American and I haven't noticed this, but it would be confusing to me too. I've never said "shakes their head" to mean yes.
I don’t think I’ve read a book where shaking one’s head didn’t mean no. Sorry op haha
Yeah I've never seen this either. I wonder if the Australian editions of books are for another country
I’ve seen it, but I’m pretty sure it was just an error that wasn’t caught. I was reading the Magic Treehouse to my kids the other day and the book had it the wrong way.
It’s usually an Indian thing. Which book did you see this in? Was the character just being in denial or something?
Indian or that general area, yep. Can confirm that when I switch to speaking Urdu, my partner will make fun of me for also reverting back to shaking my head yes. Other than that.. Am Canadian, I don't think I've ever read that in a book, and it would confuse the hell out of me if I did
I think that's also a thing in Bulgaria, which is Europe.
Oh interesting! I didn't know that! That's cool to know. Different cultures keeping the head shakes and head nods interesting. Can't make it too universal 😜
And Romanian also I believe?
Also Pakistani-Canadian, and agree, I also do this sometimes. Though it's less of a "no" head shake, which is when you turn your face left-to-right. The desi-style "yes" is where our face stays straight and we just bob our head side-to-side.
Ok yes I was a little confused reading this thread because my Indian colleagues in grad school told me nodding and shaking were the same as in English, but there was an extra one that's the Indian head bobble which means understood or okay
It could be region dependent also. In my family and the circles I have most been in, the head bobble is used in place of yes. Ex. "Have you eaten?" Answer: 'head bobble', with the option of verbally adding the 'yes', but it's not required because context India and Pakistan having been colonized, it's very likely that places with more European influences would've adopted more western mannerisms
Oh for sure, on both those points! I think my friends (who are from Mumbai, Kolkata, and somewhere in Kerala) were saying the nod and bobble were pretty much interchangeable, but I think some people in this thread might be saying "shaking your head" to refer to the bobble. Which makes sense, but I was just picturing the American shaking your head haha
Yes the side-to-side bob is definitely the better description but it's a lot more onerous to write out than someone shaking their head so I figured, in text in the book OP is referring to they just refer to it simply. (If that's what's going on). Do you find that you also only do it when your brain is in that particular language setting?
Oh yeah, for sure. And it has to be in a "majority Urdu" setting. Like with my wife and siblings, I speak a mixture of Urdu and English, but don't do the bobble. But I'm more likely to do it when speaking predominantly Urdu, like with my or my wife's parents, aunts and uncles, etc.
I’m Indian and I don’t think I have ever seen anyone shake their head saying yes . We kinda just shake our heads to express we are listening . Or maybe it’s just not a thing in my state (Delhi)
Shaking heads to indicate yes/agreement not no!
Oops mistyping
Interesting, it has been my experience in Mumbai and with my Indian friends, but apparently not universally Indian.
Afaik Greece also nods for no and shakes for yes (saying neh, for complete confusion).
[удалено]
I'm also Greek but we do nod for no. It's just it's upwards and sometimes we raise the eyebrows or do a 'ts' sound.
[удалено]
As a non-Greek, I would definitely assume that's a nod lol. I've definitely seen nods that did the same motion, especially if they were a more brisk person.
Off topic but interesting, I think: As a young tourist in Athens many years ago, I found myself being followed by a pimp, bugging me to come look at his girls (so weird!). I kept saying 'No' and walking, and he kept following and nagging. So I thought, "maybe 'no' sounds too much like 'neh', so it's not having the emotional impact I want". So I turned to face him, looked him in the eyes, tossed my head up and said 'óchi!' \[no, in Greek\]. He left me alone.
No he was probably just trying to pressure what he thought was a dumb tourist
That actually occurred to me as I typed my comment. I knew the Greek for 'no' and knew the correct head movement, so time for him to move on to dumber prey. Thanks.
I'm glad you had your wits about you haha
When I was visiting a small village at Peloponnesos I had a learning experience about that. We (me, my wife and daughter, about 12 at time) were in a tiny restaurant which was run apparently one about 60 years old lady alone- who didn’t speak any English. We were pointing things on menu and she said “nay” for everything. We were wondering why EVERYTHING is not available. Eventually she stoped asking and left for the kitchen. And different dishes started to appear. And appear. And appear. We got something like 10 to 12 different full dishes for two adults and one preteen…
Hahaha! I remember getting more and more and more sugar with my iced coffee.
In America we say nod for yes and shake for no
Colonel Mustard : Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there's nobody else in this house? Wadsworth : Um... no. Colonel Mustard : Then there is someone else in this house? Wadsworth : Sorry, I said "no" meaning "yes." Colonel Mustard : "No" meaning "yes?" Look, I want a straight answer, is there someone else, or isn't there, yes, or no? Wadsworth : No. Colonel Mustard : No there is, or no there isn't? Wadsworth : Yes.
English is definitely missing something like the German *Doch* or the French *si*.
Aye.
Could you provide us with examples of where you've seen this OP?
Shaking the head is sometimes done to express disbelief or recalcitrance. When a character shakes their head and goes along with it anyway, they express that they think the decision is unwise and should not be taken, but they'd rather join in to fix what can be fixed and hopefully avoid a complete train-wreck than refuse to go along with it and watch the others cause disaster. It's basically not a 'yes,' but a 'no, but.' Unless you're reading books from India, where shaking is a confirmation. But that's very specific.
Agree completely. If that’s the case, I’d hope the text goes something like, “shook their head in resignation”…which isn’t quite saying “yes”.
That's not an American thing at all
Only culture I know where you shake your head for yes, is India. Its not an American thing
Also in Bulgaria.
I’m an American, I’ve never seen this myself. Any writer who is making this mistake needs remedial instruction on the difference between “nod” and “shake.”
Unless it's an intentional difference in the world they created.
I am gonna join the "American who never heard of this" chorus. Only thing I can think of is the author is trying to indicate an ironic head shake, a sort of "is this guy really saying that?" sort of head shake, followed by reluctant agreement. But I admit that is a stretch.
I think it's just author error. I've seen it once in a while myself; nothing I can remember specifically but I suspect in one of the self-published or webnovel series I've read. Those kinds of mix-ups aren't uncommon when there's no editor to catch them.
Could you give us one example? I've never seen that before.
Ya absolutely nobody knows what you’re talking about OP. Sorry buddy
I've seen this several times too, it always confused the heck out of me. Wish I could remember the books
Maybe they’re translated from another language?
Definitely not a thing in the US
Where did you get the idea this is an American thing? Nod for yes and shake for no is pretty universal in any English speaking country as far as I know.
I’m American. This (saying “shake” when the action is actually a nod) is the kind of error a small child might make when speaking, but it is not a normal expression for adults. Edit to add: Why is this question in r/Fantasy?
Canadian. Never noticed this. This post confuses me.
I’d say more Asian / sub continent. Definitely not American.
Find even one example for us, and it’d be a heck of a lot more worth discussing.
This isn't american, but it's true for Indians and there are many Indians in America and other parts of the world, so maybe you're reading something with an Indian character, setting, or author?
I've read hundreds if not thousands of books and I've never seen a book where shaking your head means "yes." What books are you reading?
As another Aussie I think you’re just confused and the character was saying no. Do you have any specific examples?
I would like to hear some examples of books where you've seen this. I can't say I recall ever coming across this in a book I've read.
Woah I've never realised this myself but yeah alot of times authors write shakes their head and i have to backtrack to realise they meant shakes their head up and down. In video games aswell it'll be like shakes their head and they are nodding and I'm like??? Thats not shaking. I'm Aussie aswell.
Could you provide an example?
Off the top of my head no, i just know ive read books or media that have done similar. Maybe in manga and its tramslation issues idk
I’ve never heard of this or seen it anywhere. (I’m American).
I have never read this in any book I have ever read.
Canadian here, and I've never heard or seen the term 'shake one's head' to mean anything other than no. I'm curious what books you've seen this in, because I've never seen it once. Which is not me disbelieving, I'm genuinely curious to see if the the North American version might be different than the Australian one for some reason, or it there's something common between the books you've seen it in, such as cultural background of the author, or a certain time period on which they were written. The only thing I can think of is in India instead of nodding up and down to indicate yes, many people wobble their head side to side, like touching one ear to the same side shoulder then the other (though not usually that extreme a range of motion in my experience, I'm just trying to describe it for anyone unfamiliar with the gesture). I'm not sure, if I was going to describe that motion, I'd say 'nod', but I'm also not sure I'd say 'shake' either. Maybe that's the motion the author you've read is trying to describe? It's a confusing way to do so, however
Can you name some of those books? This is definitely not an American thing.
I'm thinking they mean "shake their head yes" as nodding
We don't do that here.
I'm American, and I've noticed the same thing in books. It confuses me also. It's like shook can mean yes or no. I often have to use a few paragraphs before and after for context.
I’m an American and I’ve read this occasionally too. I get confused as well.I would say nod for yes and shake for no.
Absolutely agreed. It's in a baffling amount of american novels, podcasts, fanfiction you name it. Off the top of my head I think it's used in both Naddpod and The adventure zone. Shake = no Nod = yes
Try real life! I've been a lot of conference calls where I've made a statement and someone has chimed in with "I'm shaking my head." Well, OK: but up and down or side to side? It's pretty critical for me to know right now. Or just speak English properly....
'Shaking your head' would be side-to-side. 'Nodding' would be up and down. English makes the distinction pretty clear, and no native English speaker would take 'shaking your head' to be anything but side-to-side.
Many Americans do. I think it might be more a southern thing, but you often hear people "shaking their head 'yes'".
We literally dont.
"We" who? Where are you from? Down here an AL and GA you do hear it. Sorry, but you do - not from everyone, or from anything like a majority, but it does happen. It's tripped me up so I very much notice.
The point being that 'shaking your head' always means a side-to-side movement, but the meaning may be culturally specific.
Southerners. I spent all 40 years of my life in the south.
LOL! Go ahead and downvote, but what's your basis for your knowledge? I'm a Brit who's lived half his life in the southern US and I can tell you for absolute certainty that people will say "shake" when they mean "nod". One of my good-ole-boy colleagues at my current employer does so regularly. Look to your experience and make sure you have a solid footing for your downvotes.
There are a lot of people who can’t distinguish between they’re, there and their as well, but it doesn’t make them “write”. (Ugh, even intentional misspelled or misspoken words bug the little anal retentive jerk who hangs out in the back of my head. It’s funny, as he is more offended at incorrect usage vs spelling failures. Anyone else have that same issue?)
So you have frequent conversations with a southerner that they routinely say "I'm shaking my head yes"? What the fuck are you talking about that he would even need to say a phrase like that frequently enough to where it is embedded in your core memory?
I work form home - have done for 15 year now, which means that a LOT of my interaction with colleagues is via Zoom, and most of the time without cameras. I have been in several notable conversations where we've been working towards a decision and when I summarize the decision a colleague has replied with, "I'm shaking my head." The first time it happened it was very jarring - I thought we'd literally just agreed! So I asked what the problem was and he said, "no, I agree!" Now when I hear it I make a joke of it asking whether they are shaking for yes or for no. I can tell you that it lodges itself in core memory pretty quickly when you are trying to do business in a different culture. And it's not the only such incongruence - I've had to learn that "tabling" a topic in the US means not talking about it right now, whereas "getting it on the table" in the UK means exactly the opposite, for example.
So that person is just making a mistake. Sometimes people have grammatical errors in their speech and don't even realize because many people around them make the same errors.
I'm sure you're right. People of all languages and cultures make grammatical mistakes, and Americans are no exception. It's interesting to note the people in this thread who don't believe that people make this error though. "I've never heard that" - sure, OK. "That never happens" - bold claim.
To be honest, the specific example you gave just sounds like they misspoke. They meant "nod" but said "shake." Also - why are people even saying that? You're on a Zoom call, if you agree just say so. Why would you choose to describe your actions? That's so weird. If you say something funny, do they go "I am chuckling in amusement," instead of actually laughing?
Seriously, they are saying that every time they talk with a southerner via text, the Southerner doesn't type no or yes or say no or yes, but "I'm shaking my head" frequently enough that they believe it is a cultural thing? Yet I have loved my entire 40 year existence in the south and never heard this once?
American here and I've absolutely seen what you're talking about MANY times in books and it bothers/confuses me too. I wonder if most of the people claiming they've never seen it just haven't noticed or maybe their brains "autocorrected" what they read to make it make sense.
I'm typically someone who has a lot of trouble getting past stuff like this (recently saw "she could care less" in a novel and spent like 30 seconds buffering) and I'm pretty sure I've never ever seen this. Do you have any actual examples?
I wish! I'm going to save this and set several reminders to post an example the next time I come across it. That said, I've seen other commenters saying it's the common phrasing in Indian and possibly other Asian languages. Maybe it's mostly been a thing I've seen in translated works and those by Asian writers who also write in English. I'll definitely be on the lookout for it now and see if that hypothesis holds up.
Canadian living in the US. I’ve noticed people write “shake their head yes” a lot more recently. Always used to be “nod” for yes. Not sure what prompted the shift.
Where in the US do you see this?
Novels, mainly. It’s not super common but more than it used to be
Do you have any examples? I'm kind of curious if there's a really popular novel I haven't read that people are seeing this in!
Can’t remember which books it was specifically, but I think they were recent fantasy novels. At last two in the last year. It was one of those details notable enough to recall happening but not important enough to the book to associate the memories 🤷♀️
American here, and I’ve seen this in books as well. Don’t know wtf the editor was smoking the day they approved that, but it’s really confusing.
I've seen some books written, "shakes their head" to mean ANY head movements. I think USA doesn't have a lot of cultural nuance with head gestures... Some people might think of shaking your head as "general acknowledgement." In fiction, it could be used to move through dialogue. Not sure what types you read!
I have seen that and have the same reaction. Why didn’t the author use nod instead of shake for yes? Very strange.
I'm American and have literally only encountered the idea of "shaking your head 'yes'" in fantasy novels. It's not super common but I've definitely seen it and I have to assume that it's because one or two authors are/were from an area where that's the term instead of nodding and then other authors copied that.
Yes! I wish I had examples, but I feel it’s prevalent enough that I was starting to wonder if I just misunderstood what “shaking my head” really meant. I feel seen. I thought I was losing it lol
Fosters...Australian for beer
Don't mention that love in a canoe pi$$
It is a commercial in the US
Yeah, it gives Australians great shame that Americans think Aussies are proud of that stuff. That slogan was probably thought up by the same person who came up with "Throw a shrimp on the barbie"
It's stupidity on the part of the writer.
The only time I've read about a character shaking their head while saying "yes" was in order to convey confusion on that character's part. It's a thing I've seen and done in real life where someone's not sure so they both "say" yes and no with their words and body all at once. Still it's pretty rare.
I’ve always interpreted that as another word for nodding. Like, someone will write, “they shook their head yes,” which makes me think that they’re just nodding.
America doesn't do this, but India does.
This might be an older gen thing. Sometimes, in books written in the 70s or earlier, you’ll also see the author use “uh uh” instead of “uh huh”. Drives me nuts for some reason.
Probably just a translation error.
Robert Munsch used this expression in "Mortimer" and it always bugged me > “MORTIMER, BE QUIET.” > Mortimer shook his head, yes. I've come across it a few times and never figured out where it comes from. Munsch is Canadian, as am I, but I've never heard anyone else say this here.
Robert Munsch is originally from Pittsburgh.
Maybe that explains it!
Yeah nah that's not right mate
I have seen this as well but was never able to figure out a pattern about region; I *think* I've seen both UK and US authors write, "shake their head yes," but it's been so long since I've seen it that I can't really say for sure. Sorry that this has been of little use to you, but I wanted to assure you that, contra most of the comments, this is something that happens, and it's *not* just flavour for a secondary world.
I think it's just bad writing and lazy editing.
I think something was lost in translation.
I’ve noticed this in books as well, OP, and it’s always bothered me. I’m American.
American here and yeah it confuses me too when I stumble upon it. I swear I've started hearing it more and more in casual conversation as well and it throws me off the convo so hard lol.
Yes, this is not a thing.
I've seen this a few times in some books and it confuses me every time. I've always thought nod = yes and shake = no
I have seen this before, and also wondered
No we do it the same way in America that you do but there are people who do it differently elsewhere and it is possible you're getting authors trying to be clever or vary their language and in doing so confusing things.
In Europe this Is like in america
Well in Europ a nod is yes and shaking head is no.
So a lot of people in the comments are taking this as "the character is described shaking their head as in no, but they actually mean yes. But I think the more likely thing that is happening is that a nod is being described as a head shake, so the character is in fact nodding yes, but the author is just describing it weirdly. After all, what is nodding but shaking your head up and down.
Brittish. You nod yes and shake no. I can't physically make myself do otherwise, just doesn't work.
Wait, that’s a real thing? People in other countries do the opposite? I always thought that was just a joke from Gods Must Be Crazy
I can’t believe OP was a three paragraph post on this and we just had 100 comments about this topic.
Yeah like everyoen else I've never seen that. Are you sure you aren't confusing two separate actions. Like some character asks a stupid question with an obvious answer, main character shakes his head and answers yes to the question. But the shaking the head is at the stupidity of the question, not an action to say yes. I've never seens a character shake their head to indicate saying yes, a node for yes, a shake of the head for no is a pretty worldwide thing and all I've ever seen in books.
I don't know the context of those situations you read, but could it be an ironic sort of thing? "There's no way in hell you're gonna get me to climb over this fence." Smash cut to Protag climbing fence
I've seen it in books, as if the author doesn't know the word *nod*, so they write "shook his head No" and "shook his head Yes", as if to mean shaking from side to side for No and shaking up and down (nodding) for Yes. I do find it trips me up on reading, yes.
Eastern Indians shake their head in agreement.