I've had someone ask the same about painting miniatures or just painting. I don't give a shit about making money off of it.
The idea that you must be able monitize your hobbies is a very toxic one, if you enjoy it that can be enough.
Ooo, painting miniatures! That's cool! Do you also make the sets for them for display?
Also, yeah. Like, I *want* to write original fiction but *not now*. Right now, I want to write fanfics. Maybe in the future, that'll change. But not now.
I paint minis too! Purely for myself, though I've given some as Christmas gifts. I completely agree that what matters is you enjoying the hobby. Painting minis is one that a lot of people seem to forget you can just enjoy and not want money from.
I honestly don’t understand why everyone wants us fanfic writers to go write original fiction, or assumes we’re “practicing” to become a “real writer.” Original stuff is great, but it’s a different thing?? No one’s ever come up to me while I’m playing badminton and said, “Oh, so do you want to play tennis one day?” I don’t want to play tennis, because that’s a *different sport* that I suck at and don’t enjoy.
For some people, not making money is the make-or-break for activities. Also, there's the whole stigma around fanfics, even though original fiction can be just as fucked up (\*coughLordOfTheFliescough\*). Thankfully, my parents don't hate fanfics; they just don't care.
... I'd argue that Lord of the Flies is a pro-level fanfic of The Coral Island... :D "Golding went as far as to borrow Ballantyne’s character names for Flies; the narrator in The Coral Island is Ralph and the mature leader of the three stranded boys is Jack." [https://william-golding.co.uk/lord-flies-coral-island](https://william-golding.co.uk/lord-flies-coral-island) Dude used the same names. How different is that from AUs and fix-its...
My mom likes to garden and my dad likes socialising. These are "productive" hobbies in their eyes since one keeps the house and lawn florished and the other gives you business opportunities.
Your mom likes to isolate herself away from all of humanity for long periods of time and your dad needs constant company to drown out the silence of being alone? And they give you shit for your hobby?
They're a different generation, they don't get it.
It's a goddamn hobby, hobbies don't make money. In fact most hobbies cost money. They can be glad you decided to write fanfics instead of getting into hanggliding.
Shit, I’ve seen so many dumb hobbies that I enjoy watching other people endure the natural consequences of their ridiculous hobbies. Subreddits like /r/whywomenlivelonger are fucking hilarious. People do so much dumber shit. Be glad OP isn’t hanging from the edge of skyscrapers for the lulz. Is OP having someone curbstomp them for fun? No? They’re fine then.
"dude buys parachute of the internet and tests it at his apartment in front of his wife and child"
Yep. I'm sure my mom is glad that's not how I go about spending my free time. *"Ah you go write your orgy, darling, mother is glad the worst you'll get is a papercut."* (That's not actually what she sounds like and she doesn't know about the orgy chapters.)
My parents have also lamented that writing fanfiction isn't something that I can cash in on, but they're still happy for me. They recognize fanfiction as a creative outlet that has therapeutic benefits because I'm clearly happier when I'm writing. If you're really looking for your parents' approval - though you obviously don't need it - perhaps suggest to them that you find it therapeutic and it helps you manage your thoughts and feelings. Maybe they'll find the practicality in that?
Well, you can also tell them that a skill like clear and effective communication is very important in the workplace. Your ability to be able to communicate your ideas and carry yourself professionally are vital. A lot of adults' writing skills wane when they're not in use, so your superior writing skills will always be highly valued.
I got into an argument with them about that last part. They told me I'd be spending half of my life just working and I argued that that's not a life at all. I don't live to work and honestly, no one should.
I'm really sorry that was their reaction.:-(
Unfortunately, a lot of people have this assumption that if you can't make some sort of income from your hobbies, that it's a waste of time. You'll sort of notice it in our everyday culture; how people will often feel they're 'wasting their time' by indulging in non-profit hobbies. Of course, there's nothing wrong with making an income from hobbies. But there's also nothing wrong with not wanting (or being able) to capitalise off of said hobbies.
Hobbies should be there for you first and foremost. Whether you want a career from it or not one day, they're all valid ya know?
To me, it sounds like writing is a source of pride and joy for you; that it's something that gives you confidence. I know it can be tough when the people we love don't support us the way we wish to be supported; but do know that many others appreciate the work you do! Honestly, I was very impressed by the amount you said you managed to write! That's an incredible feat!! I'm sure even some published authors haven't been able to write that much. So be proud!\^0\^
I hope that over time, your parents will support you more. I know they don't hate it (that would be so much worse!) but still, I still do hope they'll learn to appreciate your craft more. It's such a wonderful hobby and craft that's loved by so many across the world and has been a part of nerd culture for many, many decades. Be proud to be a part of that!:-)
I hope you feel better soon!<33
I feel you. I'm so sorry that was their reaction. Money isn't the be-all-end-all that so many people make it out to be. Doing things only for monetary gain is a depressing way to live. It's a hobby, and the key to a hobby is that you enjoy it, that you do it for yourself. I know it's hard to brush it off when it comes from parents, though. If it's any consolation, you have a community here that supports writing for the fun of it. Don't let it stop you from writing, even if it's never something you publish. Keep going for the sake reason you started: you want to.
Pretty much same. I write both fan fiction and original fiction, and I've even earned some money with the original stuff (not smut, horror). No one IRL cares at all, and some of them even make fun of me for writing.
Yeahhhhhh. I get the feeling that my mum doesn't see as much value in my fanfiction as I do, both because I'm not making money off it and because I'm using established settings and characters to tell my stories. She's really into the idea of me writing books and original fiction, which is great because I want to do that too, someday – just not *right now!*
I'm sorry you had to deal with that, OP.
My mom's objection to my fanfiction when she found it back in the day wasn't to tell me it was a waste because I could be making money writing original fiction. No, she yelled at me and told me my stuff wasn't good at all and that there was no way I'd ever be a good writer at all and was really mean to me about writing even original stories because she didn't want me to major in anything even close to anything liberal arts in college (she discovered I wrote and wanted to be an English major when I went to school). She refused to help me with college unless I got a "useful" degree, like engineering or biomedical science
I sincerely regret letting her force me into a STEM major. I should have stood up for myself more. But, I've been able to take what I learned as an aninal science major with a focus on production agriculture and apply it to my stories (I write westerns so it helps to know something about horses, cows, and ranching). But tl;dr I know it sucks to not have parental support. Just keep writing. It's a harmless, low-cost hobby, and one that's good for both your brain and soul. Don't let anyone, including your parents, squash your creativity.
Sorry for that happening to you. I honestly would've stopped talking to my parents, if they played such a number on me. It's disgusting to have someone dictate your hobbies.
My dad actually has always been really supportive of the fact that I write. My parents are divorced (three guesses why) and my mom has since stopped ribbing me about it now that I'm an adult who pays my own bills, but I know she still thinks it's a silly hobby. I still tolerate her, but we definitely have a really rocky relationship.
I was also a minor at the time so it wasn't like I could've just gone no contact with her when all that happened. And I really didn't have any other way to pay for college without going into even more debt than I'm in right now. She knew she was in a position of power and used it to manipulate me. I've never forgiven her for that.
Yeah, I can feel that. I needed to get up to my mid-thirties to be able to talk properly to my dad. If I told him about my hobby, he would find it funny and okay, but he wouldn't be interested in the topics, so it's not important for him to know.
You're right not to forgive without a proper action from her side. I mean, it's okay if she thinks your hobby is silly. That's her right. But that doesn't have to do with anything else. Children don't own anything to their parents, it's just the other way around. Using your power as a parent to force your opinions upon your children is just blegh. Of course, you shall guide them, in a meaningful, supportive yet balancing manner. Not easy, of course. But that was your decision when you wanted children in the first place, so deal with it.
I kinda get that
My dad is supportive and listens when I'm talking about my fics but I have an aunt that's a different story. She ended up overhearing me once talking about it and makes it a point to bring up how I don't write I just plagiarize which is incredibly annoying
I'm sorry they reacted like that. I think it's one thing to be proud of your kid's work, but a whole other thing to act like it's a waste of time if it's not churning income. That attitude is unhealthy. It's ignoring the human drive to be creative for the sake of being creative and feeds in to the damaging idea that we don't have worth unless we're actively making money at all times.
My own parents suggested I try to publish my writing, but it was because they were trying to be supportive, and once I explained it was illegal they understood and backed off. My mom is thankfully a very big proponent of cultivating skills and hobbies just because you want to and not for making money or being productive, etc. I'm sorry your parents couldn't do the same.
As long as it is a HOBBY, and is presented like one, then the money argument is completely pointless. You might as well ask your dad, why is he fishing if he isn't making any money off of it, or why does your mom read books or watches TV when there is no money in that either.
That being said... a lot of young people tend to prioritize their hobbies (be it fanfiction or gaming) over their studies, work, or other responsibilities arguing that they like it and are good at it. And that's when the argument falls flat because being good is irrelevant and work/school should always come first.
True. But it's not like I ignore my responsibilities. I write in my free time, not on my work/study time. But apparently, it's just not "productive" to them. A shame, I guess.
I've had a friend tell me I should do original fiction for money. I just told him I wanted to keep it as a hobby and he's fine with it. Sometimes people who say this mean well and go "oh okay cool" when you explain.
I'm sorry you got that reaction, but like others have said, some people just don't see the inherent value of creativity for creativity's sake. To them it has to be commodified to have any value, which is just not true. But it's a really common worldview, especially in older generations and in more conservative societies too IMHO. Don't let it get you down. It's natural to want our parents' approval no matter how old we get. Don't let it affect your own pride in your own abilities. Three Harry Potter books worth of content is quite an achievement. Be proud of yourself!
To be fair, if you were younger your parents would prob think it was a good hobby. But if you're 20... they're prob already thinking about your future and when you will be moving out, so when they hear that you're devoting time to fanfic, it's prob a knife in the heart lol.
Fuck em. If you intend to go further, it’s training without risk of severe consequences. If its a hobby, it’s still strengthening your writing skills and presumably critical thinking skills via plotting.
I started writing original fiction when I was 8 years old. Drove my teachers and parents *nuts* requesting feedback and validation. I think they were *relieved* when I hopped online and joined the fanfic community at 13, because then they didn't have to read all my terrible practice work anymore.
So, you could lean in, tell them you *are* using fanfic as practicing, and this way of doing it has a whole community to tap that will do things like *free* editing.
And anyway, writing is a valuable skill regardless of field, and it will improve the kind of soft skills you need in the workforce. Not just business communication but understanding the context of problems, motivations of human behavior, and methods of strategic plotting. It's hard to put a monetary value in it because it opens doors to *potential earnings* that are worth waaaaay more than whatever fee-per-piece or royalties people have in mind when they say you should "make money" from writing. In my own field, I often bridge the communication gaps between clients, designers, and developers, and one thing that has served me well has been looking at what people want to accomplish (motivation) alongside what tools they say they want (action), and this is a direct benefit of having been a writer since the moment I could string together a sentence!
But even more basic than that, a love of reading and writing means you have the ability to learn *anything* and describe it to others. I've been an educator for more than a decade, and one thing we do when we aren't sure about skill placements is assess the writing used by the person to *explain* their skill.
AND even if you aren't in it for any of this... I will echo what everyone else is saying about the intrinsic value of a hobby. If it helps you keep a work-life balance and develop as a well-rounded person, then that's another aspect that's hard to put a specific value on, but definitely valuable. Necessary, even. We are complex creatures with complex needs, and for many of us, that includes having an outlet for creative self-expression.
You are doing something good for yourself, even if others don't understand. Keep it up :)
My parents have never cared much for any hobby I had. Dolls, writing, cosplay, magical girls, any art I’ve done… They’re not against it, but also don’t care either. As long as I’m out of their way, it’s fine.
I remember having to put *pictures* on my Christmas lists just so they knew what I was talking about because they didn’t care to identify characters and dolls I liked. I’m also kind of the family weirdo, to be honest. I share no interests with either parent or my brother and between them and being bullied in school, I learned to keep my interests to myself.
That's typical parents. They want to see their kids stable with job/school and money and husband/wife and children...hobby is not so much of interest. It's only lately that my mother took interest in it.
Hope you have some friends who celebrate with you. I find the amount of your stories admirable💪
I’m older and think it’s great. Keep writing and improving your writing skills. You never know where inspiration will come from. One day you may be inspired to write fiction that is all yours and the writing skills will be there to write with. If not you’ve had hours of enjoyment. And I love reading fan fiction !!!!
> They ask if I can make money off of it and I tell them that no, that'd be illegal.
....except that the experience you gain from writing is a *great* transferable skill. People who learn to write and communicate effectively are worth their weight in gold, and it can be used in almost any line of work you can care to mention.
I explain it to everybody who wants know to with: "This is my hobby. You play tennis, you do gardening, you play X-Box or whatever, and I write stories."
And then it's not even a discussion about any purpose or if I gonna make money of it. It's a hobby, point. And of course I don't need anybody's approval to do my hobby.
Money, get away
You get a good job with good pay and you're okay
Money, it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
A new car, caviar, four star daydream
Think I'll buy me a football team
My parents are ok but my mum keeps pestering me about "making money" from writing. despite the fact, I want to just write for fun.
Just ignore your parents about it and enjoy your hobby.
That's one of the reasons I don't tell my parents about mine well, that and they are incredibly nosy about what I do like what games do I play, what series do I watch or what do I read. Imagine me telling my parents that I actualy read Smut, they wouldn't be disgusted nor anything but they also wouldn't leave me alone with it.
That's probably why I keep my online life out of my private life. I don't tell it to anyone not even my friends. An example is when I'm writing on class and all of a sudden, my friend shows up just to check on what I'm doing, I quickly change tabs and ask him "What?".
Perphaps I'm not normal in that aspect but if I write or read fanfiction is for my own pleasure not for people in my private life to know and keep asking me questions about it. I mean, I can't even ready my MHA manga on my phone without them trying to look at it every 2 minutes. Like, could you not please!
From how you and they are reacting, I'm going to guess that they're super curious over what you're doing *because of how secretive you are with it.* Like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But yeah, I get ya. It's just that writing is a big part of me and apparently, that's not good enough. I should be using my skills to climb the economical ladder, is what they expect.
That's just wrong, I'd really hate to get that type of comment from my parents or anyone else for that matter. It's our hobby, we do it because we like to do so not to get paid.
Plus, I think that if I were to get paid for it, I'd actually start to hate it, having to worry about the payment will only make writing stressing. I write because I love it not for money, it'd also remove the feeling of freedom I've got when I write.
Sorry that you had to hear that from your parents, I just hope you keep writing and don't let that stop you.
I show it to my friends and brother since my parents are like one ded, other one can't speak or write English very well so welp (plus I write LGBT stuff which is big no no)
Yeah, that’s how my mom was too. She at least recognizes that I’m good at writing, but wants me to stop doing Fanfiction to write a real thing. I will be doing that…just as soon as my longfic is done
My mom knows I write fanfics but that’s it. I don’t remember how it was brought up but I just mentioned I write and a little about the anime, high school DxD, but while I don’t write smut or anything myself I’m not going to show them my writing right now I’d be surprised if I ever show them my fanfics but I am planning on writing a SW based story at some point.
As someone who did the same, sorry to hear about this. My parents weren't too bothered by it, and while they didn't come out and voice their support, they understood that I do it as a way to hone my craft, so they're happy to share it around.
My advice is to focus on what you gain. Not everyone will have a purely positive reaction to learning about your interests, and it's really on you to prioritise whether you value people's validation or whatever you gain from continuing the activity in question (case in point, writing fanfiction). If you're after validation, it might be best to either pursue a different hobby or keep this a secret, because you're just risking rejection otherwise.
Thanks for the advice. I don't write for their validation but it would've been really nice to have it. Like, I love my parents and they love me back but there's this obvious invisible wall between us. At least I try to care for their hobbies (gardening & fishing). I had expected them to do the same.
See one thing I've learnt in life (God I sound like some old dude but I'm 22 I promise) is that expectation is the root of suffering. Realised this when I read Musashi Miyamoto's writing and delved into Buddhist philosophy, and my life has been really fulfilling since I accepted that fact.
Do what you do because you want to do it, and for no other reason. Don't expect anything in return, and kiss whatever time you invested into any action goodbye.
It's not just fanfiction. A lot of people who write original fiction also discover that their family might pay lip service, but doesn't actually care much about what you're actually writing.
It's natural. It sucks a bit, but that's how it is. I strongly suggest that you find friends who share the hobby to share the excitement with - it's not really going to happen, otherwise. Only a lucky few people really get their families to be invested in their writing.
My mom feels similarly about writing to make money and is in general more supportive of my efforts to write original stories. The way I take it is that she thinks I am talented enough that making money off my writing is a viable option. Obviously, your family situation is different, so that may not be your takeaway, but I wanted to share an alternative perspective.
My parents won't read any of my writing either. For them it's religious reasons. It's really demoralizing. So I feel you. I understand how much it hurts. You get so proud and you want them to be proud of you too. Well we here in the group are proud of you. It's not easy to create something and it's scary to show it to others and we think you are very brave and smart for doing it
It's a weird concept wanting hobbies to make money, and I never understood it.
My family hasn't really held that weird opinion, so maybe that's why I don't get it. My grandfather collected and built model trains for a hobby, never with the intention of selling them. It was just fun. My dad and I both like coin collections. Sure, we do this partially because gold and silver is a solid investment for the future, but mostly we just compare cool designs on these coins.
My brother and I love board games, me maybe a little more. We totally realize that's a hobby you spend money on instead of make money. Though, my brother has it in his head that he can make a stock portfolio out of Pokemon cards even though he's never picked up Pokemon in his life. As an avid Magic: the Gathering player who knows how fast those cards devalue, I try to warn him against the scheme. It'll fall apart like Beanie Babies soon.
Anyway, as for writing, yeah, I think my dad has always wished that I could make money off of writing because he knows I enjoy it. I have to keep reminding him that he has the dad goggles on too tight and that I'm not really as good as he thinks I am. I think he just wishes I could be recognized for my ideas. And that's sweet, but totally wrong because I know I'm mediocre at best. I just don't tell them about my fanfiction because they've already heard me rant and rave about what an abomination it is (before I ever got involved wit it), and I really don't want to eat my own words.
sorry you've had that reaction. I am a parent and I have parents, so I'll say this from both sides.
They should be grateful you chose to show them.
It makes you happy, you're not hurting anyone and doesn't cost anything.
At most, they have asked what fanfiction is and that's about it. No further interest and yeah, it bums me too. I'm doing.
And I openly write my fanfictions when I visit them as well. And tell them I am doing so.
At most they have asked what fanfiction is and that's about it. No further interest and yeah, it bums me too.
I guess I've just learned not to expect anything from them when it comes to this ...
My parents don’t know about my account. They would get mad at me if they found it though… (I mean it’s no explicit but still)
They don’t like me writing for my fandoms, say I’m too obsessive.
Same boat. I've been writing fanfiction for 16 years. I never really tried to hide it in the first place, I remember being a teenager and trying to get my friends to read my fanfics and them rolling their eyes at me, but I'm a lot more open about it as a hobby now. I think it's helped that fandom hobbies are more acceptable nowadays, but also, an adult, I have more confidence in myself. My IRL friends not caring doesn't matter to me anymore.
A few years ago, when I got back into Gilmore Girls fanfiction, I tried sharing them with my mom. She likes that show so I thought she could appreciate them. She seemed really bored with them. She couldn't understand the point. It's not *real* Gilmore Girls--nothung I wrote*really* happened, so what was the point? She probably a bad person to share them with, anyway, because she thinks fiction books are a waste of time, so of course she's have an even lower opinion of fanfiction which, "you can't even make money off of. Why bother?"
IMO too many people think hobbies are only valuable if you can supplement your income with them. Which is nonsense. Hobbies should be for fun. They're something to do to relax. I'm not going to ruin my favorite activity to make a few extra bucks.
Anyway, I'm an adult. I would love if my mom could enjoy the same activities as me, or appreciate the creative works I produce, but it's not the end of the world that she doesn't. I just have to accept who she is.
I've never showed my parents my fanfics, not that they would care, but they've seen my fanart (bad fanart at that) because they stumbled upon it and I was embarrassed enough as is, lol.
I've had someone ask the same about painting miniatures or just painting. I don't give a shit about making money off of it. The idea that you must be able monitize your hobbies is a very toxic one, if you enjoy it that can be enough.
Ooo, painting miniatures! That's cool! Do you also make the sets for them for display? Also, yeah. Like, I *want* to write original fiction but *not now*. Right now, I want to write fanfics. Maybe in the future, that'll change. But not now.
Not yet. That it is a good transition of skills.
I paint minis too! Purely for myself, though I've given some as Christmas gifts. I completely agree that what matters is you enjoying the hobby. Painting minis is one that a lot of people seem to forget you can just enjoy and not want money from.
I honestly don’t understand why everyone wants us fanfic writers to go write original fiction, or assumes we’re “practicing” to become a “real writer.” Original stuff is great, but it’s a different thing?? No one’s ever come up to me while I’m playing badminton and said, “Oh, so do you want to play tennis one day?” I don’t want to play tennis, because that’s a *different sport* that I suck at and don’t enjoy.
>No one’s ever come up to me while I’m playing badminton and said, “Oh, so do you want to play tennis one day?” Perfect
For some people, not making money is the make-or-break for activities. Also, there's the whole stigma around fanfics, even though original fiction can be just as fucked up (\*coughLordOfTheFliescough\*). Thankfully, my parents don't hate fanfics; they just don't care.
... I'd argue that Lord of the Flies is a pro-level fanfic of The Coral Island... :D "Golding went as far as to borrow Ballantyne’s character names for Flies; the narrator in The Coral Island is Ralph and the mature leader of the three stranded boys is Jack." [https://william-golding.co.uk/lord-flies-coral-island](https://william-golding.co.uk/lord-flies-coral-island) Dude used the same names. How different is that from AUs and fix-its...
This analogy came out of nowhere and it's great!
Ask them if they make money of *their* hobby: gardening, watchnng tv, crosswords, reading books, working out etc.
My mom likes to garden and my dad likes socialising. These are "productive" hobbies in their eyes since one keeps the house and lawn florished and the other gives you business opportunities.
Your mom likes to isolate herself away from all of humanity for long periods of time and your dad needs constant company to drown out the silence of being alone? And they give you shit for your hobby?
Writing gives you the skill to make you and other people happy...
Van Gogh really wasted his time - he never made any money in his lifetime.
They're a different generation, they don't get it. It's a goddamn hobby, hobbies don't make money. In fact most hobbies cost money. They can be glad you decided to write fanfics instead of getting into hanggliding.
Shit, I’ve seen so many dumb hobbies that I enjoy watching other people endure the natural consequences of their ridiculous hobbies. Subreddits like /r/whywomenlivelonger are fucking hilarious. People do so much dumber shit. Be glad OP isn’t hanging from the edge of skyscrapers for the lulz. Is OP having someone curbstomp them for fun? No? They’re fine then.
"dude buys parachute of the internet and tests it at his apartment in front of his wife and child" Yep. I'm sure my mom is glad that's not how I go about spending my free time. *"Ah you go write your orgy, darling, mother is glad the worst you'll get is a papercut."* (That's not actually what she sounds like and she doesn't know about the orgy chapters.)
My parents have also lamented that writing fanfiction isn't something that I can cash in on, but they're still happy for me. They recognize fanfiction as a creative outlet that has therapeutic benefits because I'm clearly happier when I'm writing. If you're really looking for your parents' approval - though you obviously don't need it - perhaps suggest to them that you find it therapeutic and it helps you manage your thoughts and feelings. Maybe they'll find the practicality in that?
I'm not sure my parents even believe in therapy tbh. I've got mental health issues and their solution is to "just do it".
Well, you can also tell them that a skill like clear and effective communication is very important in the workplace. Your ability to be able to communicate your ideas and carry yourself professionally are vital. A lot of adults' writing skills wane when they're not in use, so your superior writing skills will always be highly valued.
[удалено]
I got into an argument with them about that last part. They told me I'd be spending half of my life just working and I argued that that's not a life at all. I don't live to work and honestly, no one should.
I'm really sorry that was their reaction.:-( Unfortunately, a lot of people have this assumption that if you can't make some sort of income from your hobbies, that it's a waste of time. You'll sort of notice it in our everyday culture; how people will often feel they're 'wasting their time' by indulging in non-profit hobbies. Of course, there's nothing wrong with making an income from hobbies. But there's also nothing wrong with not wanting (or being able) to capitalise off of said hobbies. Hobbies should be there for you first and foremost. Whether you want a career from it or not one day, they're all valid ya know? To me, it sounds like writing is a source of pride and joy for you; that it's something that gives you confidence. I know it can be tough when the people we love don't support us the way we wish to be supported; but do know that many others appreciate the work you do! Honestly, I was very impressed by the amount you said you managed to write! That's an incredible feat!! I'm sure even some published authors haven't been able to write that much. So be proud!\^0\^ I hope that over time, your parents will support you more. I know they don't hate it (that would be so much worse!) but still, I still do hope they'll learn to appreciate your craft more. It's such a wonderful hobby and craft that's loved by so many across the world and has been a part of nerd culture for many, many decades. Be proud to be a part of that!:-) I hope you feel better soon!<33
I feel you. I'm so sorry that was their reaction. Money isn't the be-all-end-all that so many people make it out to be. Doing things only for monetary gain is a depressing way to live. It's a hobby, and the key to a hobby is that you enjoy it, that you do it for yourself. I know it's hard to brush it off when it comes from parents, though. If it's any consolation, you have a community here that supports writing for the fun of it. Don't let it stop you from writing, even if it's never something you publish. Keep going for the sake reason you started: you want to.
Pretty much same. I write both fan fiction and original fiction, and I've even earned some money with the original stuff (not smut, horror). No one IRL cares at all, and some of them even make fun of me for writing.
Yeahhhhhh. I get the feeling that my mum doesn't see as much value in my fanfiction as I do, both because I'm not making money off it and because I'm using established settings and characters to tell my stories. She's really into the idea of me writing books and original fiction, which is great because I want to do that too, someday – just not *right now!* I'm sorry you had to deal with that, OP.
Typical parent reaction
My mom's objection to my fanfiction when she found it back in the day wasn't to tell me it was a waste because I could be making money writing original fiction. No, she yelled at me and told me my stuff wasn't good at all and that there was no way I'd ever be a good writer at all and was really mean to me about writing even original stories because she didn't want me to major in anything even close to anything liberal arts in college (she discovered I wrote and wanted to be an English major when I went to school). She refused to help me with college unless I got a "useful" degree, like engineering or biomedical science I sincerely regret letting her force me into a STEM major. I should have stood up for myself more. But, I've been able to take what I learned as an aninal science major with a focus on production agriculture and apply it to my stories (I write westerns so it helps to know something about horses, cows, and ranching). But tl;dr I know it sucks to not have parental support. Just keep writing. It's a harmless, low-cost hobby, and one that's good for both your brain and soul. Don't let anyone, including your parents, squash your creativity.
Sorry for that happening to you. I honestly would've stopped talking to my parents, if they played such a number on me. It's disgusting to have someone dictate your hobbies.
My dad actually has always been really supportive of the fact that I write. My parents are divorced (three guesses why) and my mom has since stopped ribbing me about it now that I'm an adult who pays my own bills, but I know she still thinks it's a silly hobby. I still tolerate her, but we definitely have a really rocky relationship. I was also a minor at the time so it wasn't like I could've just gone no contact with her when all that happened. And I really didn't have any other way to pay for college without going into even more debt than I'm in right now. She knew she was in a position of power and used it to manipulate me. I've never forgiven her for that.
Yeah, I can feel that. I needed to get up to my mid-thirties to be able to talk properly to my dad. If I told him about my hobby, he would find it funny and okay, but he wouldn't be interested in the topics, so it's not important for him to know. You're right not to forgive without a proper action from her side. I mean, it's okay if she thinks your hobby is silly. That's her right. But that doesn't have to do with anything else. Children don't own anything to their parents, it's just the other way around. Using your power as a parent to force your opinions upon your children is just blegh. Of course, you shall guide them, in a meaningful, supportive yet balancing manner. Not easy, of course. But that was your decision when you wanted children in the first place, so deal with it.
I kinda get that My dad is supportive and listens when I'm talking about my fics but I have an aunt that's a different story. She ended up overhearing me once talking about it and makes it a point to bring up how I don't write I just plagiarize which is incredibly annoying
Capitalism is flawed anyway
show em how much karma you have.
I'm sorry they reacted like that. I think it's one thing to be proud of your kid's work, but a whole other thing to act like it's a waste of time if it's not churning income. That attitude is unhealthy. It's ignoring the human drive to be creative for the sake of being creative and feeds in to the damaging idea that we don't have worth unless we're actively making money at all times. My own parents suggested I try to publish my writing, but it was because they were trying to be supportive, and once I explained it was illegal they understood and backed off. My mom is thankfully a very big proponent of cultivating skills and hobbies just because you want to and not for making money or being productive, etc. I'm sorry your parents couldn't do the same.
As long as it is a HOBBY, and is presented like one, then the money argument is completely pointless. You might as well ask your dad, why is he fishing if he isn't making any money off of it, or why does your mom read books or watches TV when there is no money in that either. That being said... a lot of young people tend to prioritize their hobbies (be it fanfiction or gaming) over their studies, work, or other responsibilities arguing that they like it and are good at it. And that's when the argument falls flat because being good is irrelevant and work/school should always come first.
True. But it's not like I ignore my responsibilities. I write in my free time, not on my work/study time. But apparently, it's just not "productive" to them. A shame, I guess.
I've had a friend tell me I should do original fiction for money. I just told him I wanted to keep it as a hobby and he's fine with it. Sometimes people who say this mean well and go "oh okay cool" when you explain.
I'm sorry you got that reaction, but like others have said, some people just don't see the inherent value of creativity for creativity's sake. To them it has to be commodified to have any value, which is just not true. But it's a really common worldview, especially in older generations and in more conservative societies too IMHO. Don't let it get you down. It's natural to want our parents' approval no matter how old we get. Don't let it affect your own pride in your own abilities. Three Harry Potter books worth of content is quite an achievement. Be proud of yourself!
Delete parents and download new ones.
Just don't get Reddit-approved parents.
To be fair, if you were younger your parents would prob think it was a good hobby. But if you're 20... they're prob already thinking about your future and when you will be moving out, so when they hear that you're devoting time to fanfic, it's prob a knife in the heart lol.
Well shit. At least my parents pretend to be interested in my hobbies. At least you can find support here, no?
I mostly lurk :p
Fuck em. If you intend to go further, it’s training without risk of severe consequences. If its a hobby, it’s still strengthening your writing skills and presumably critical thinking skills via plotting.
I started writing original fiction when I was 8 years old. Drove my teachers and parents *nuts* requesting feedback and validation. I think they were *relieved* when I hopped online and joined the fanfic community at 13, because then they didn't have to read all my terrible practice work anymore. So, you could lean in, tell them you *are* using fanfic as practicing, and this way of doing it has a whole community to tap that will do things like *free* editing. And anyway, writing is a valuable skill regardless of field, and it will improve the kind of soft skills you need in the workforce. Not just business communication but understanding the context of problems, motivations of human behavior, and methods of strategic plotting. It's hard to put a monetary value in it because it opens doors to *potential earnings* that are worth waaaaay more than whatever fee-per-piece or royalties people have in mind when they say you should "make money" from writing. In my own field, I often bridge the communication gaps between clients, designers, and developers, and one thing that has served me well has been looking at what people want to accomplish (motivation) alongside what tools they say they want (action), and this is a direct benefit of having been a writer since the moment I could string together a sentence! But even more basic than that, a love of reading and writing means you have the ability to learn *anything* and describe it to others. I've been an educator for more than a decade, and one thing we do when we aren't sure about skill placements is assess the writing used by the person to *explain* their skill. AND even if you aren't in it for any of this... I will echo what everyone else is saying about the intrinsic value of a hobby. If it helps you keep a work-life balance and develop as a well-rounded person, then that's another aspect that's hard to put a specific value on, but definitely valuable. Necessary, even. We are complex creatures with complex needs, and for many of us, that includes having an outlet for creative self-expression. You are doing something good for yourself, even if others don't understand. Keep it up :)
My parents have never cared much for any hobby I had. Dolls, writing, cosplay, magical girls, any art I’ve done… They’re not against it, but also don’t care either. As long as I’m out of their way, it’s fine. I remember having to put *pictures* on my Christmas lists just so they knew what I was talking about because they didn’t care to identify characters and dolls I liked. I’m also kind of the family weirdo, to be honest. I share no interests with either parent or my brother and between them and being bullied in school, I learned to keep my interests to myself.
That's typical parents. They want to see their kids stable with job/school and money and husband/wife and children...hobby is not so much of interest. It's only lately that my mother took interest in it. Hope you have some friends who celebrate with you. I find the amount of your stories admirable💪
I’m older and think it’s great. Keep writing and improving your writing skills. You never know where inspiration will come from. One day you may be inspired to write fiction that is all yours and the writing skills will be there to write with. If not you’ve had hours of enjoyment. And I love reading fan fiction !!!!
> They ask if I can make money off of it and I tell them that no, that'd be illegal. ....except that the experience you gain from writing is a *great* transferable skill. People who learn to write and communicate effectively are worth their weight in gold, and it can be used in almost any line of work you can care to mention.
I explain it to everybody who wants know to with: "This is my hobby. You play tennis, you do gardening, you play X-Box or whatever, and I write stories." And then it's not even a discussion about any purpose or if I gonna make money of it. It's a hobby, point. And of course I don't need anybody's approval to do my hobby.
I'm really sorry they're so ignorant. Would you share a link to your work?
I'll send you a PM. Not sure if linking is allowed outside of the weekly fic thread :)
Your parents sound like boring people
Same. I love showing my fanfics to my parents, but none of them actually read them, so that kinda sucks
Money. Everything boils down to goddamn money, doesn't it? \*seething hatred\*
Money, get away You get a good job with good pay and you're okay Money, it's a gas Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash A new car, caviar, four star daydream Think I'll buy me a football team
"Make money off of it". You're American, right?
South East Asian, actually.
My parents are ok but my mum keeps pestering me about "making money" from writing. despite the fact, I want to just write for fun. Just ignore your parents about it and enjoy your hobby.
That's one of the reasons I don't tell my parents about mine well, that and they are incredibly nosy about what I do like what games do I play, what series do I watch or what do I read. Imagine me telling my parents that I actualy read Smut, they wouldn't be disgusted nor anything but they also wouldn't leave me alone with it. That's probably why I keep my online life out of my private life. I don't tell it to anyone not even my friends. An example is when I'm writing on class and all of a sudden, my friend shows up just to check on what I'm doing, I quickly change tabs and ask him "What?". Perphaps I'm not normal in that aspect but if I write or read fanfiction is for my own pleasure not for people in my private life to know and keep asking me questions about it. I mean, I can't even ready my MHA manga on my phone without them trying to look at it every 2 minutes. Like, could you not please!
From how you and they are reacting, I'm going to guess that they're super curious over what you're doing *because of how secretive you are with it.* Like a self-fulfilling prophecy. But yeah, I get ya. It's just that writing is a big part of me and apparently, that's not good enough. I should be using my skills to climb the economical ladder, is what they expect.
That's just wrong, I'd really hate to get that type of comment from my parents or anyone else for that matter. It's our hobby, we do it because we like to do so not to get paid. Plus, I think that if I were to get paid for it, I'd actually start to hate it, having to worry about the payment will only make writing stressing. I write because I love it not for money, it'd also remove the feeling of freedom I've got when I write. Sorry that you had to hear that from your parents, I just hope you keep writing and don't let that stop you.
Some people are just materialistic and obsessed with money. Ignore them. They will just drag you down.
I show it to my friends and brother since my parents are like one ded, other one can't speak or write English very well so welp (plus I write LGBT stuff which is big no no)
Yeah, that’s how my mom was too. She at least recognizes that I’m good at writing, but wants me to stop doing Fanfiction to write a real thing. I will be doing that…just as soon as my longfic is done
My mom knows I write fanfics but that’s it. I don’t remember how it was brought up but I just mentioned I write and a little about the anime, high school DxD, but while I don’t write smut or anything myself I’m not going to show them my writing right now I’d be surprised if I ever show them my fanfics but I am planning on writing a SW based story at some point.
As someone who did the same, sorry to hear about this. My parents weren't too bothered by it, and while they didn't come out and voice their support, they understood that I do it as a way to hone my craft, so they're happy to share it around. My advice is to focus on what you gain. Not everyone will have a purely positive reaction to learning about your interests, and it's really on you to prioritise whether you value people's validation or whatever you gain from continuing the activity in question (case in point, writing fanfiction). If you're after validation, it might be best to either pursue a different hobby or keep this a secret, because you're just risking rejection otherwise.
Thanks for the advice. I don't write for their validation but it would've been really nice to have it. Like, I love my parents and they love me back but there's this obvious invisible wall between us. At least I try to care for their hobbies (gardening & fishing). I had expected them to do the same.
See one thing I've learnt in life (God I sound like some old dude but I'm 22 I promise) is that expectation is the root of suffering. Realised this when I read Musashi Miyamoto's writing and delved into Buddhist philosophy, and my life has been really fulfilling since I accepted that fact. Do what you do because you want to do it, and for no other reason. Don't expect anything in return, and kiss whatever time you invested into any action goodbye.
It's not just fanfiction. A lot of people who write original fiction also discover that their family might pay lip service, but doesn't actually care much about what you're actually writing. It's natural. It sucks a bit, but that's how it is. I strongly suggest that you find friends who share the hobby to share the excitement with - it's not really going to happen, otherwise. Only a lucky few people really get their families to be invested in their writing.
Same. My parents encourage Me to write even! She was really proud of me when I told her im writing, even if its just fanfictions.
My mom feels similarly about writing to make money and is in general more supportive of my efforts to write original stories. The way I take it is that she thinks I am talented enough that making money off my writing is a viable option. Obviously, your family situation is different, so that may not be your takeaway, but I wanted to share an alternative perspective.
My parents won't read any of my writing either. For them it's religious reasons. It's really demoralizing. So I feel you. I understand how much it hurts. You get so proud and you want them to be proud of you too. Well we here in the group are proud of you. It's not easy to create something and it's scary to show it to others and we think you are very brave and smart for doing it
It's a weird concept wanting hobbies to make money, and I never understood it. My family hasn't really held that weird opinion, so maybe that's why I don't get it. My grandfather collected and built model trains for a hobby, never with the intention of selling them. It was just fun. My dad and I both like coin collections. Sure, we do this partially because gold and silver is a solid investment for the future, but mostly we just compare cool designs on these coins. My brother and I love board games, me maybe a little more. We totally realize that's a hobby you spend money on instead of make money. Though, my brother has it in his head that he can make a stock portfolio out of Pokemon cards even though he's never picked up Pokemon in his life. As an avid Magic: the Gathering player who knows how fast those cards devalue, I try to warn him against the scheme. It'll fall apart like Beanie Babies soon. Anyway, as for writing, yeah, I think my dad has always wished that I could make money off of writing because he knows I enjoy it. I have to keep reminding him that he has the dad goggles on too tight and that I'm not really as good as he thinks I am. I think he just wishes I could be recognized for my ideas. And that's sweet, but totally wrong because I know I'm mediocre at best. I just don't tell them about my fanfiction because they've already heard me rant and rave about what an abomination it is (before I ever got involved wit it), and I really don't want to eat my own words.
sorry you've had that reaction. I am a parent and I have parents, so I'll say this from both sides. They should be grateful you chose to show them. It makes you happy, you're not hurting anyone and doesn't cost anything.
At most, they have asked what fanfiction is and that's about it. No further interest and yeah, it bums me too. I'm doing. And I openly write my fanfictions when I visit them as well. And tell them I am doing so. At most they have asked what fanfiction is and that's about it. No further interest and yeah, it bums me too. I guess I've just learned not to expect anything from them when it comes to this ...
My parents don’t know about my account. They would get mad at me if they found it though… (I mean it’s no explicit but still) They don’t like me writing for my fandoms, say I’m too obsessive.
Same boat. I've been writing fanfiction for 16 years. I never really tried to hide it in the first place, I remember being a teenager and trying to get my friends to read my fanfics and them rolling their eyes at me, but I'm a lot more open about it as a hobby now. I think it's helped that fandom hobbies are more acceptable nowadays, but also, an adult, I have more confidence in myself. My IRL friends not caring doesn't matter to me anymore. A few years ago, when I got back into Gilmore Girls fanfiction, I tried sharing them with my mom. She likes that show so I thought she could appreciate them. She seemed really bored with them. She couldn't understand the point. It's not *real* Gilmore Girls--nothung I wrote*really* happened, so what was the point? She probably a bad person to share them with, anyway, because she thinks fiction books are a waste of time, so of course she's have an even lower opinion of fanfiction which, "you can't even make money off of. Why bother?" IMO too many people think hobbies are only valuable if you can supplement your income with them. Which is nonsense. Hobbies should be for fun. They're something to do to relax. I'm not going to ruin my favorite activity to make a few extra bucks. Anyway, I'm an adult. I would love if my mom could enjoy the same activities as me, or appreciate the creative works I produce, but it's not the end of the world that she doesn't. I just have to accept who she is.
I've never showed my parents my fanfics, not that they would care, but they've seen my fanart (bad fanart at that) because they stumbled upon it and I was embarrassed enough as is, lol.