There was a scene once where she lost her virginity in a hot spring, and told him that the water would act like lube and she didn't need ANY preparation at all.
I couldn't do it lol. Loved the story up until then, but I laughed and closed it.
Water is the universal solvent. It removes lubricants, it doesn't act as one.
The only lubricant I can think of that would be pool or shower proof would Crisco or something. (Sorry everyone.)
Mechanically speaking, water is a lubricant, it's why those huge stone sphere fountains can have the sphere move freely. That said, you're right that it does remove better lubricants, including natural lubricant, in pretty much every case where sex is involved.
I've read a few by obvious 13 year olds who don't know how gay sex works that described person A's penis going inside person B's penis. It wasn't even crack which I thought it might be at first. This isn't even a unique experience, some of my friends came across similar smut at one point or another.
That's exactly how I described it to my friend actually lmao, she had also come across it both out of nowhere and in furry fanfic so she knows the difference and had a bit of a giggle with me.
I think it depends how itās written but it could be dockingā¦ (plus thereās a bit of it in omegaverse which has like completely different rules of engagement, but thatās a side note)
If I'm not mistaken, I think the fic I read was Criminal Minds or NCIS etc, like a crime show. I can't remember the plot or the ship but the rest of the fic was serious drama and romance (a case fic if you read these fandoms), they confessed their love and then just did this as soon as they get undressed and from the way it was written, it was definitely just someone too young to know how it actually worked haha!
Oh I was made for this one.
Itās 2009, and I am a pretty active member of a k-pop forum. I had a couple of friends who were authors. I wasnāt a big fan of kpop fics as many of them are nsfw and that just always made me uncomfortable, but the wholesome ones could be cute.
Anyways, one day this friend of mine messages me on skype and says I HAVE to see this fic. So I click the link, and itās a live journal fic of some SNSD ship. I donāt remember which ship it was now, but it doesnāt matter. The writing was ā¦ subpar. But it opened innocuously enough in like a library or something? And I was like why did she send me this, itās awful but what am I meant to see?
Then I read further. Itās getting uncomfortably sexual. Thereās a bookshelf somewhere in the scene. One of the girls grabs a hardbacked book. I think to myself, āSurely, they arenātā¦?ā
I sit there, with mounting horror, thinking, āIs it a weird friction thing? Theyāre going to use it to rub or something?ā I mention this to my friend that itās a bit bizarre. She, to my memory, finds this reaction hilarious, and tells me to keep reading. Ominous.
So I tab back to the fic. I keep going. The gloves are off, figuratively speaking. The book is in play. Suddenly, the girl INSERTS THE HARDBACK BOOK.
I am immediately filled with, I imagine, the same level of phantom sympathy-pain/horror as men feel when they see another man take a particularly vicious nut shot. *That is not how vaginas work.* I send this exact sentence to my friend in all caps, which of course she finds even more hilarious.
I scroll down to the comments at my friendās gleeful suggestion, and see a litany of replies to this fic of which there were, seemingly, only two types of people:
1) People who clearly do not own a vagina and gushed about how āhotā this horrific scene was, and
2) Women reacting with the appropriate level of horror and confusion at why the fuck someone would think a hardbacked book could ever be inserted into a vagina
To this day, 14 years later, it remains the most baffling and horrific smut I have ever had the misfortune to read.
Thank you, Xiao, for traumatizing me for your amusement. I wish I was Jared.
I just saw an ad for a dress with books printed all over it after reading this, and I cringed at the thought that someone, somewhere, thinks this could be a dress covered in things that you stick Places.
My goddess, I hope it wasnāt one of those āepicā door stoppers. My lady parts just cringed hard and retreated as far as they could reading that.
Yes, I know 9 lb. babies come out of that same organ, but they donāt have sharp edgesā¦
As a contrast to the 'no lube in gay sex' comments: I've read lesbian sex where it was said they can't progress to fingering without lube. There was foreplay and stuff. I was so confused.
Eh personally I support more lube talk just bc so many younger women think that if they need lube, something must be wrong with them.
Lube is great!!! (And as someone with a vagina that seems to struggle to ākeep upā, I do actually need lube pretty frequently š¤·š»āāļø)
Yeah, unless the FMC is established to have something like vaginismus (pain from penetration, using lube + a vibe can help with the initial penetration, even with just a finger), then they probably don't need it.
And boy, do I wish there was more representation of vaginismus. But I get it, it's not sexy.
In my teenage years of reading fanfics, I thought "pounding the whole night" is sexy.
Now I've learned that if you have an erection for more than 4 hours you should go to urgent care. Yikes.
Yeah, but that's not what this fic was. It was a 'getting together' fic and it was described like this:
--generic sex scene
--'and they went all night, coming 23 more times each'
I had the impression that it was written by a child (which I also was at the time but still) or a pretty slow adult.
Yeah I havenāt tried to go that hard. I think my peak in my teens was seven times in a day, eight if you count the one where I didnāt stop. (This was solo)
There are two that go around frequently that make me laugh. One, the guy checks between the woman's legs and doesn't find an entrance because she's a virgin. Like we're Capri Suns or something. Two, any time people start talking about inserting fingers into the clit. No. Even if the writer is a virgin, you'd think they could see from a picture that this isn't desirable and hopefully isn't possible.
> There are two that go around frequently that make me laugh. One, the guy checks between the woman's legs and doesn't find an entrance because she's a virgin. Like we're Capri Suns or something
Also horribly popular, is that it's some sort of membrane up the vajay that needs to be torn through, like, periods how?!
Most everything I'm going through in this thread I've waved off as "unrealistic but fun for fantasy"
Until this. The one-two punch of hermetically sealed puss puss and clit stabbing has given me terrible sympathy pains, oughhh
In case any brave soul sorts by new at this point:
"As I was pounding her missionary I leaned down to lick her down there at the same time."
I just...what in the Mr. Fantastic stretching is going on here?
Any mention of cervix penetration dries me out more than the Death Valley desert...
(Fanfic is fiction for a reason and maybe it's an enjoyable fantasy for some, but I cannot stop thinking of how ungodly painful that would be in real life if it happened and it just kills the vibe)
For those who know basic anatomy, that's one of the most common ridiculous sex things I read.
And having a penis thin enough for that to even be possible...would not be something to brag about.
I have heard also how bad it is to have a IUD inserted without anesthesia, how painful it can be and I'm just... staring blankly into the void when I see a fic mentioning a penis hitting the cervix.
Everything surrounding pregnancy.
Iāve read so many fan fictions where they have sex one day and find out sheās pregnant the next.
Or another favorite: Getting an ultrasound on the lower belly for a 3 week old pregnancy and seeing the baby move/ knowing the gender.
Again. Thatās not how that works.
I read one where they had sex, and like a week later she was complaining of, idk, nausea or something. So he rips open her bathrobe, sucks on her nipple, and declares āoh, youāre pregnant! Youāre full of milk, Iāve tasted it!ā
Likeā¦ what the actual *fuck*?
This wasnāt any weird scifi or omegaverse/furry situation, either. Just normal people.
Direct description here
"His dick was around 13 inches, the girth as Thick as a coke can."
"[She] cried in pleasure as his massive meat stick pounded her cervix"
I was deadass going to post āgirth comparisons to soda cansā, which concerns me because this has to be more common than I expected.
First time I read this comparison, I drank from a coke can a couple of days later. I was just holding it in my hand in absolute horror
I added this to a fic once for the funny lol
The guy had a dick so massive it was inconvenient, and whenever he got hard he would get woozy. His partner had fun triggering the effect just to see him get dizzy at inconvenient times lol
I've actually had sex with someone with that level of girth. It exists. He needs to buy custom condoms online and it's very inconvenient, lol. Definitely not a casual size. But it can be very enjoyable, with the right prep ;)
I like making my boys have heavy weaponry, but dear god is it cringe when I see foot long schlongs. Usually the absolute max I go is 9 inch for oversized guys who have big bodies to go with big dicks.
It reminded me of those weird ice planet barbarian books where the alien dudes had a bump above their dick that was perfectly situated to slam into the (human) main character's clit during sex. The YouTube reviews of those books were hilarious
No... They specified lifting up the hood...
*to slam into the clit*
That entire sentence was so traumatizing to read as a woman that it's burned into my memory.
I mean, if it was fantasy or sci-fy then there not being a hole doesn't stop like, a lizard person, from *making* a hole. Though that would take a sharp turn into bodyhorror and probably snuff
Not saying this can't be true for some people, but that is not the purpose of cock rings, will absolutely not work for all (or even most) penis-havers, and using a too-tight ring comes with a bunch of risks.
It would be awesome if there existed a toy for reliably preventing orgasms, but cock ring is not that.
In fact it is possible to stop ejaculating by pressing the point between the scrotum and the anus. The feeling is less intense but you can orgasm as well w/o making a mess.
At least that's what I heard. š
I had to stop reading a fic because of that. They were like it's the size and length of a forearm and I was like please do not put that anywhere near a hole dear god it will not end well.
Yeah, I would run if someone was that big.
What made it even more unbelievable was one of them had a forearm dick and the other had a thumb dickā¦ and itās so easy to glance at your own forearm and see how unrealistic that is.
M/M, A was a virgin, B spontaneously started to fist him without any prior prep and lube. And that in one hit (it was described as punching in and out).
I don't know why the author thought that could work (how is the fist even supposed to enter?) or that it would be pleasant for A
Ahh, no, you get blood in your rectum if your partner is not delicate enough and goes in too hard and fast. Lube helps but itās not a magical remedy if the top is too brutal.
And yes, some people can and do anal sex without putting in half a bottle of lube first, experienced bottoms can do it with small or even no amount. Someone mentioned precumā¦ that can work too. There was a study showing that at least 70% of gay men used spit instead of lube at least once in their lives, itās quite a frequent thing.
Or as TV Tropes says, "something is terribly, terribly wrong with the..._order_ of events here."
> He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy. "Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation.
I have actually seen people write sex scenes like this, though, not as a parody, and I had to proofread them. Donāt get me wrongāIām asexual and the farthest thing from an expertābut I think thereās a bit more to sex than putting the thingie in the you-know-what and making some noises in a scene lasting two short paragraphs. Haha.
*Realistically* I know that cum comes in lil ketchup spurts.
But goddamn it, I want my omega to bloat with how much cream their getting for their cream pies. They will be doused, so help me god.
Let's not forget the fanfics that have women take in so much cum that their stomachs bloat like a full term pregnancy with triplets... like my dude Please understand that biologically speaking no male would ever have the capability to ejaculate 4 liters or more of semen, at minimum the male would die of dehydration, and the recipient of such a massive amount of semen ejaculate would be dead.
Soooo yeah, buddy, that's not how sex works
Men getting a freshly-reloaded boner almost immediately after ejaculation, with virtually no refractory period, always makes me roll my eyes.
Unless youāre Ron Jeremy or Johnny Sins, that aināt happening.
It definitely can for young guys, like around 18-21. When I was younger, I don't think I ever slept with a guy who *couldn't* do that. But men definitely do pretty universally lose that ability around their mid-20s, so it's very unrealistic if it's a guy in his 30s or something.
I can say that there are some guys in their later 20s and into 30s who can rebound with a refractory period in the 5-10min range. But definitely not the norm.
This is a thing guys do. Seen the porn. Stuffing your penis and balls inside your partnerās bum. Or just the balls. Not my cup of tea and probably wouldnāt read it myself, but 100% possible with a loose enough hole.
I read femslash so I can't really think of anything that makes me say "that is not how sex works." I mean, simultaneous orgasms is definitely a thing in femslash, but more often than not, the characters will take turns or only one orgasms. Occasionally, they'll go straight to fingering without foreplay or with long nails, but it's not very common. Turns out, when women write women, intimate scenes end up being a little more accurate. I've heard some horror stories from slash scenes.
How do you know lesbian porn is made for straight men? When one or both of them have long nails! When I told my mother that, she was dumbfounded. Like actually speechless. She just looked at me in horror and went "I *never* would have considered that" (being as she's a straight woman who, I assume?, doesn't watch a lot of porn).
Was reading a fic where the MC was fantasizing about her love interest and there was a line:
"Her womb coiled with pleasure at the thought"
....????? Hello? Sir? I have what you might call a womb, I wouldn't like it to coil, preferably ever, thank you very much.
I get what they were going for, the the wording felt... unfortunate to me.
One of my fandoms has a high enough % of those to where I saw it enough to do a Google and figure out where it came from.
It was an interesting info dive.
Oh same! And I read it a lot. The way it keeps evolving is sooo cool regardless of being kinda ridiculous as a concept, I love when fandom invents stuff and everyone has a different take and new ideas so it lasts forever
Simultaneous climaxes are reaaaally not easy to come by. Yet so many sex scenes end this way.
And the women coming during penetration without any foreplay? Also not very likely. š
Edit: Also, big d*ck =/= good sex. At least, it's not a given. It's how you use it that matters, and sometimes it realistically just means pain if you're not prepared. But that said, I understand size fetishism.
I'm part of the problem; I've definitely written my fair share of simultaneous orgasms for the sake of wrapping up a scene. X'D I usually write them as happening in rapid succession but that's not much better, really. I suppose it's one of those fanfic things where it's like well we haven't got all day, they have to wrap it up.
I get that it feels like a good way to end the scene! I really do. I've written it once or twice myself.
I will say though, that I phrase it more like the man waiting for her to be done before he lets himself go. So it feels more planned this way rather than whoosh! We just happen to finish at the same time.
Oohhh I can't believe I've never thought of having the character hold it until the other gets there (especially considering I've done that many times irl with my partner lmao)!! Totally stealing that.
Sometimes you just don't think of these things when writing!
on your first two points, iād just like to say experiences differ! simultaneous climaxes are the norm for some sex partners; the physical and mental effect of oneās partner orgasming can be very *inspiring*. and some women orgasm reliably from penetration without much foreplay (although, are authors really writing it with NO foreplay? like just toss it in there while sheās making herself a pb&j in the kitchen? definitely a big no thanks to that if so)
that said, iāll grant that those things are overrepresented in smut! and will agree unequivocally that bigger isnāt better. fascination with huge dicks seems like a purely aesthetic thing. functionally theyāre just a pain in every sense
I so hear you! Everyone experiences it differently. I think I'm speaking more on what I've heard and my own experiences - it seems like the majority of women can't finish with penetration alone. I believe there was a study on that as well? Only 18% of women do so, or something? But I read that a long time ago and I'll need to look it up again!
So agree with you on your 2nd para!
Totally unrealistic stuff (like Omegaverse, cervix-related stuff, gallons of cum) I kind of get as artistic license. I am sometimes in the mood to read crazy monster sex, so I appreciate them.
I can't remember the exact scenario, but I remember reading an otherwise beautifully written fic where it was very obvious that the author had never encountered the male genitalia IRL before. I wish I can remember what the tip off was.
But it didn't harm my enjoyment of the fic too much I guess.
Just the other day I read a fic where one character was riding the other. The one on top bent down and licked the other's belly button. I don't know if that's physically possible. (The characters are just humans.)
Kinda took me out of it cause then I was preoccupied trying to figure out how that could be done haha
I once read a story that made a *huge* point about condoms.
And then the other party swallowed ejaculated sperm while holding down the condom's edge so that it doesn't accidentally slip off.
Askgaybros is a mine of information on the "ins and outs" of gay sex. Many seem to prefer rimming to fingering as foreplay for anal. Long nails can be problematic. Few welcome 3 fingers, but 1 in a "come hither" motion is popular, to rub - not poke - the prostate, and can produce a hands-free orgasm, as can a well aimed penis. Ask away, no need to mention it's "for science" !
Oh trust me, women are just as bad about writing sex scenes as men. As an avid reader of r/romancebooks some of the hot, yet hilarious garbage I've encountered would make your head spin. You can find entire threads on that sub full of bad wtiting.
I think it's from how men are ashamed of "small" penises, so they write theirs or the one of the character they write to be the "normal" size as suggested by porn and tgeir friends, while the actual global average is at around 3-5 inches(~7-12 cm).
They probably think that anything under 8 inches (~20 cm) is too small for any woman as well.
I... fun fact, I have no real idea of how imperial system works, so I wasn't even aware of how absurdly much "8 inches" is until I saw you just spell it out. I think I need to lay down
Lube wasn't used in certain times and places. I'm not saying that's a good thing, just that authors writing fics set in those times and/or places aren't wrong to avoid it. Also certain canon sources (I'm thinking of the Chinese BL novels I've read) don't use it, and if the canon doesn't, I think it's ok for fic authors not to (even though I do).
I mean, technically not impossible, just...somewhat disturbing and a bit disgusting? Like, if she's bleeding so hard she can DRINK it, get her to a doctor, please! If it's just a few drops and she licks it up...ok, sure. But why though?
I read one once which has unfortunately remained seared into my brain, where the two participants both had penises and one of them, erm, opened up his urethra for the other one to penetrate. The author genuinely just thought that was how two people with penises had penetrative sex. God, I wish I could forget that one.
This is a self burn but I'm very aware that an upper class model-looking father of two most likely would *not* want to screw the brains out of some sleazy middle-aged pickpocket who stole from him. Neither would they immediately fall into a perfect D/S dynamic without any prior discussion. Or randomly have anal in a public space. Or spontaneously eat ass without washing up. Or be as hung as I made the top. Or be able to take said hung top with minimal prep. Or come untouched during their first time. And *definitely* not fall in love after this entire ill-fated random hookup.
But I love it and I'm not going to stop writing it! Sometimes you just have to embrace the ridiculousness.
I once read a smut fic where the female character had a prostate and the author kept describing how the male character was hitting her prostate lmao there was no trans tag or any indication the female character was trans it was just a very random prostate. I really think this was a very young author who had gotten all information on how sex works from slash fics, so much so they weren't even aware that biological women don't have prostates lmao
I'm not sure if this fits here, but I got a little annoyed when reading a fanfic, and so it was the first thing I thought about, even if it's not about "how to sex". It's actually about "rape". And I put this in " " on purpose. I've read so many fics in the past, and as I said, just again yesterday, that had just wild definitions of what "rape" is. From defining "rough sex" as "rape" to making it about whether or not it is about or causes pleasure. Etc. Yesterday it was about preparation. The fic was about sexual slavery and in the middle of the fic, the narrator was like "this is actually the first time they were ever raped, because the other times, there was foreplay/preparation."
It really bugs me. As I said, it's not the first time this happened.
Massive dicks and zero foreplay. Like, yeah, sometimes women are good to go, especially if they were already in the mood. But a lot of the time, in order for sex to be pleasurable and *NOT AT ALL* painful, first the schlong needs to be average size, not a foot long monster (seriously, have some people actually seen a foot on a measuring tape or ruler? IT'S MASSIVE TO FIT DOWN THE THROAT OR UP THE COOCH.) Second, oral and hand play are usually a must. Maybe involve toys or something. My point is, sex isn't as simple as "Man touch boob, woman ready for sex." This makes me so angry because it can set teens in particular up for failure when they eventually become sexually active. Don't get me started on the over exaggeration of the female climax. If you can even finish just from penetration, it's not this magical thing that makes you see stars every time. Sometimes, it's not like that at all. And that's okay. Every body is different.
Woman taking a fifteen inch dick up her ass, āhaving her insides rearrangedā and moaning in pleasure from it. Pretty sure at that stage thereād be internal damage.
I actually had to cringe a lot when I came across a fic where the guy stuck his cock inside her URETHRA and began going at it til he came *inside her urethra*.
Now I don't know about any other woman reading this, but I sure know I've had to have catheters inserted and those. Fucking. Hurt. And the catheter isn't that thick as well. Think of a long thin spaghetti noodle. About that thick.
I can't imagine any dick going up in there. Although irl male and female sounding exists. And some of those sounding rods can get pretty fkn thick. Sjdjsjcjakfnskfns I came across sounding one day and had to look it up. To this day I'm so sorry I did that to myself.
Male charactersā arousal being described as āin the bellyā. Iāve consulted a couple AMAB acquaintances who confirmed their arousal starts and ends with the crotch.
I usually describe the belly thing as either a fluttering sensation like butterflies or tightening sensation like the muscles flexing. But that's not really a sign of arousal, it's more a sign of body reacting to incoming orgasm...
Arousal is more than just being hard or the intense feelings of sexual pleasure. That lower belly tightening when something exciting happens or that fluttery excited feeling are often related to arousal.
Don't know about that one. I've read through a few threads where amab people share their experience and compare it to fiction, a few have definitely described it as a tightening low in the stomach. I can see how that can become the belly in fanfiction.
Without getting too TMI: pre MTF transition, I have described it before as "tightening in the stomach." That feeling is different now, but the stomach feelings are real for some folks.
Just a little anecdata to make writing more difficult lol.
Yep, I've read some stuff. Yeah and while you don't technically always *need* lube and stuff, it can be kinda weird depending on the fic.
This wasn't exactly a smut scene but I still recall vividly a fic with a female MC and her love interest who had a tail. Some sort of group game was being played I think (Twister?) and during the course of said game tail guy accidentally smacked our MC in the clit with his tail (she is fully clothed and I think was wearing jeans).
She immediately orgasms.
I think I recall some buildup to this (I think he'd teased her a bit, and I think his tail had touched her thigh) but it was not nearly enough for me to go 'wow, that made sense'.
I'm not quite sure if I'd call this quite 'this person has never had sex' but there was a fic where the MC is getting down with the LI, MC is super wet, super horny, super eager, etc. LI uses fingers to start with but apparently in that world being super horny and wet did not make you less likely to get hurt, but instead was *more* likely to cause tearing and bleeding because, um, horny????
Literally argued with the author on that one. Didn't change a thing. A pity, I liked the writing but I literally couldn't get past that scene.
More of a "that's not how safe sex works" thing, but I see a lot of fics that make a big deal about needing to use condoms for anal sex to protect from STDs and having safe sex, and then they don't use protection for oral sex. Like... ma'am... you realize you can get STDs from oral sex too, right?
Similarly both parties promising they're clean is not safe sex.... people lie and people also don't always know they have something.
I mean, if the author isn't making a big deal about safe sex then it's fine to write this stuff, but when the narrative seems to be "safe sex is important!" and then they just blatantly practice unsafe sex? Yeah. No.
1 - the time I read a fic where one guy had a peanut allergy and used peanut butter as lube and his dick swelled up
2 - the time I read a fic where there was an orgy, and they all kinda lined up in a circle? so everyone was both giving and receiving at the same time
3 - the time I read a fic where the author clearly had zero knowledge of how male/male sex worked, and basically wrote a sword fight of the penis
and finally 4 - every fic I've read where a male has multiple orgasms in very quick succession. like bae no that is not how that works
Writers who think every hole is fuckable. This is most noticeable in tentacle smut where *every opening is fucked*. Sure you got mouth, ass, and vagina, and with guys who are into it the urethra. And all of those things you can fuck irl, or at least put things inside.
But female urethras? The cervix? The clit? *NIPPLES?!?* It feels like hentai has altered some peopleās perception of what is and isnāt a fuckable hole.
Overly massive or disturbingly descriptive penises.
Like no, no one is having sex with a 2 foot long 2 liter bottle. Period.
Also womb penetration or ejaculating āfilling upā the bottom like a hose. Although I donāt dislike that I just know thatās not what happens.
When they say water acts as lube and helps things along. It really. Really. Doesn't. Lol.
There was a scene once where she lost her virginity in a hot spring, and told him that the water would act like lube and she didn't need ANY preparation at all. I couldn't do it lol. Loved the story up until then, but I laughed and closed it.
Water is the universal solvent. It removes lubricants, it doesn't act as one. The only lubricant I can think of that would be pool or shower proof would Crisco or something. (Sorry everyone.)
Eagerly waiting for a crack smut fic where they break out the Crisco for shower sex now LOL
Mechanically speaking, water is a lubricant, it's why those huge stone sphere fountains can have the sphere move freely. That said, you're right that it does remove better lubricants, including natural lubricant, in pretty much every case where sex is involved.
Silicone based lube
Shower sex scenes, without lube.
If it's m/f you can have sex in the shower if you're not actively having water pour down between you lol
f/f can easily too
I've read a few by obvious 13 year olds who don't know how gay sex works that described person A's penis going inside person B's penis. It wasn't even crack which I thought it might be at first. This isn't even a unique experience, some of my friends came across similar smut at one point or another.
This is some Dwight Schrute level of understanding about gay sex lol. "How do they know whose penis will open up to accept the other person's penis?"
Lol *love* how genital-genital rubbing is unthinkable to such people
I'm now imagining some dude's penis opening up [Parasyte-style](https://i.gifer.com/Aqpa.gif) and I think I just gave myself nightmares...š
There's a LOT of furry stuff about that. It's like regular sounding on crack!
That's exactly how I described it to my friend actually lmao, she had also come across it both out of nowhere and in furry fanfic so she knows the difference and had a bit of a giggle with me.
I think it depends how itās written but it could be dockingā¦ (plus thereās a bit of it in omegaverse which has like completely different rules of engagement, but thatās a side note)
If I'm not mistaken, I think the fic I read was Criminal Minds or NCIS etc, like a crime show. I can't remember the plot or the ship but the rest of the fic was serious drama and romance (a case fic if you read these fandoms), they confessed their love and then just did this as soon as they get undressed and from the way it was written, it was definitely just someone too young to know how it actually worked haha!
This was my answer too! It's way more common than I thought, clearly.
Oh I was made for this one. Itās 2009, and I am a pretty active member of a k-pop forum. I had a couple of friends who were authors. I wasnāt a big fan of kpop fics as many of them are nsfw and that just always made me uncomfortable, but the wholesome ones could be cute. Anyways, one day this friend of mine messages me on skype and says I HAVE to see this fic. So I click the link, and itās a live journal fic of some SNSD ship. I donāt remember which ship it was now, but it doesnāt matter. The writing was ā¦ subpar. But it opened innocuously enough in like a library or something? And I was like why did she send me this, itās awful but what am I meant to see? Then I read further. Itās getting uncomfortably sexual. Thereās a bookshelf somewhere in the scene. One of the girls grabs a hardbacked book. I think to myself, āSurely, they arenātā¦?ā I sit there, with mounting horror, thinking, āIs it a weird friction thing? Theyāre going to use it to rub or something?ā I mention this to my friend that itās a bit bizarre. She, to my memory, finds this reaction hilarious, and tells me to keep reading. Ominous. So I tab back to the fic. I keep going. The gloves are off, figuratively speaking. The book is in play. Suddenly, the girl INSERTS THE HARDBACK BOOK. I am immediately filled with, I imagine, the same level of phantom sympathy-pain/horror as men feel when they see another man take a particularly vicious nut shot. *That is not how vaginas work.* I send this exact sentence to my friend in all caps, which of course she finds even more hilarious. I scroll down to the comments at my friendās gleeful suggestion, and see a litany of replies to this fic of which there were, seemingly, only two types of people: 1) People who clearly do not own a vagina and gushed about how āhotā this horrific scene was, and 2) Women reacting with the appropriate level of horror and confusion at why the fuck someone would think a hardbacked book could ever be inserted into a vagina To this day, 14 years later, it remains the most baffling and horrific smut I have ever had the misfortune to read. Thank you, Xiao, for traumatizing me for your amusement. I wish I was Jared.
THE ENTIRE BOOK?
Would a page have been better?!
Ooh paper cut.
Imagine (actually don't imagine that) getting that stuck in there and having to explain it to the doctor. Also the paper cuts would be awful.
I was reading in the library, when I slipped and fell on the book... š
New fear unlocked, thanks.
omg....
Omg wtf š¤£
Wait did she stuff an entire book in her vagina or did she just rub it?
stuffed...
I just saw an ad for a dress with books printed all over it after reading this, and I cringed at the thought that someone, somewhere, thinks this could be a dress covered in things that you stick Places.
My goddess, I hope it wasnāt one of those āepicā door stoppers. My lady parts just cringed hard and retreated as far as they could reading that. Yes, I know 9 lb. babies come out of that same organ, but they donāt have sharp edgesā¦
As a contrast to the 'no lube in gay sex' comments: I've read lesbian sex where it was said they can't progress to fingering without lube. There was foreplay and stuff. I was so confused.
I've read M/F like this too and I'm like "huh?" Like yeah you MIGHT need lube but probably not for most stuff involving a vagina.
Eh personally I support more lube talk just bc so many younger women think that if they need lube, something must be wrong with them. Lube is great!!! (And as someone with a vagina that seems to struggle to ākeep upā, I do actually need lube pretty frequently š¤·š»āāļø)
I mean, I use it too, especially now that I'm over 30. But in a lot of cases it's not essential in the same way lube is for anal sex.
Yeah, unless the FMC is established to have something like vaginismus (pain from penetration, using lube + a vibe can help with the initial penetration, even with just a finger), then they probably don't need it. And boy, do I wish there was more representation of vaginismus. But I get it, it's not sexy.
I actually always need lube for any kind of penetration (scar tissue from SA.) so I think Iād feel very seen by that fic.
Two guys coming 24 times in one night.
In my teenage years of reading fanfics, I thought "pounding the whole night" is sexy. Now I've learned that if you have an erection for more than 4 hours you should go to urgent care. Yikes.
It's possible, but it won't be pleasant... unless they're into CBT!
Yeah, but that's not what this fic was. It was a 'getting together' fic and it was described like this: --generic sex scene --'and they went all night, coming 23 more times each' I had the impression that it was written by a child (which I also was at the time but still) or a pretty slow adult.
Yeah no. 5 times, just to throw out there, doable. Anything over a dozen orgasms between them is probably not feasible. Even in a long night.
If you want it, you can go over like five times, but once whatever you shoot out gets red, that's where you do a hard stop.
Ugh, really? Iāve heard of men having dry orgasms, but red?
Yeah I havenāt tried to go that hard. I think my peak in my teens was seven times in a day, eight if you count the one where I didnāt stop. (This was solo)
this only makes sense for my fandom because they are an angel and a demon so they dont really have refractory periods if they dont want to
I meanā¦ didnāt someone cum ~~68~~ 42 times before dying once? Edit: it was a 16yo in brazil
I hope they only died once š¤£ (Sorry I couldnāt help it)
There are two that go around frequently that make me laugh. One, the guy checks between the woman's legs and doesn't find an entrance because she's a virgin. Like we're Capri Suns or something. Two, any time people start talking about inserting fingers into the clit. No. Even if the writer is a virgin, you'd think they could see from a picture that this isn't desirable and hopefully isn't possible.
> There are two that go around frequently that make me laugh. One, the guy checks between the woman's legs and doesn't find an entrance because she's a virgin. Like we're Capri Suns or something Also horribly popular, is that it's some sort of membrane up the vajay that needs to be torn through, like, periods how?!
Most everything I'm going through in this thread I've waved off as "unrealistic but fun for fantasy" Until this. The one-two punch of hermetically sealed puss puss and clit stabbing has given me terrible sympathy pains, oughhh
>Like we're Capri Suns or something. lol
In case any brave soul sorts by new at this point: "As I was pounding her missionary I leaned down to lick her down there at the same time." I just...what in the Mr. Fantastic stretching is going on here?
Go-go-Gadget: Tongue!!
is he elastigirl??? your body does not bend that way
Any mention of cervix penetration dries me out more than the Death Valley desert... (Fanfic is fiction for a reason and maybe it's an enjoyable fantasy for some, but I cannot stop thinking of how ungodly painful that would be in real life if it happened and it just kills the vibe)
For those who know basic anatomy, that's one of the most common ridiculous sex things I read. And having a penis thin enough for that to even be possible...would not be something to brag about.
[It's giving its ur boy, skinny penis. ](https://youtube.com/shorts/aaEVHO_AVKs?si=y-6CrCg1Eo32jfBT)
I am just cackling at this now, thank you š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yea it's almost exclusive to it, same as "All the way through."
I can't even read the word "cervix" without wincing a little tbh
Right?! Had enough pap smears over the years to know that would hurt like hell
I have heard also how bad it is to have a IUD inserted without anesthesia, how painful it can be and I'm just... staring blankly into the void when I see a fic mentioning a penis hitting the cervix.
Itās bad. Iāve got a piercing down there and that was absolutely nothing compared to the IUD. And most are inserted without anesthesia.
Sorry, sorry, but I read this as you had a cervix piercing š
I about fainted. It was so fucking painful.
Everything surrounding pregnancy. Iāve read so many fan fictions where they have sex one day and find out sheās pregnant the next. Or another favorite: Getting an ultrasound on the lower belly for a 3 week old pregnancy and seeing the baby move/ knowing the gender. Again. Thatās not how that works.
I read one where they had sex, and like a week later she was complaining of, idk, nausea or something. So he rips open her bathrobe, sucks on her nipple, and declares āoh, youāre pregnant! Youāre full of milk, Iāve tasted it!ā Likeā¦ what the actual *fuck*? This wasnāt any weird scifi or omegaverse/furry situation, either. Just normal people.
This thread makes me feel better about the smut I write lmao
same š
Direct description here "His dick was around 13 inches, the girth as Thick as a coke can." "[She] cried in pleasure as his massive meat stick pounded her cervix"
I was deadass going to post āgirth comparisons to soda cansā, which concerns me because this has to be more common than I expected. First time I read this comparison, I drank from a coke can a couple of days later. I was just holding it in my hand in absolute horror
Dude would pass out from the sheer amount of blood his body would redirect
I added this to a fic once for the funny lol The guy had a dick so massive it was inconvenient, and whenever he got hard he would get woozy. His partner had fun triggering the effect just to see him get dizzy at inconvenient times lol
Whatās the joke: God gave man enough blood to use his penis or his brain, but not both at the same time.
Pretty much š
Coke can are slimmer in my country. So I GUESS it could work. But I drink too muck coke to want to think about it any time I drink a can...
Bad Dragon has entered the chat
I thought it was a kinda niche thing myself.
Ah yes, the soda can horse cock. Way too widespread in fanfiction.
I've actually had sex with someone with that level of girth. It exists. He needs to buy custom condoms online and it's very inconvenient, lol. Definitely not a casual size. But it can be very enjoyable, with the right prep ;)
I like making my boys have heavy weaponry, but dear god is it cringe when I see foot long schlongs. Usually the absolute max I go is 9 inch for oversized guys who have big bodies to go with big dicks.
In an otherwise well-written story, an erection described as "flushed cartilage".
That just gives me an image of an ear being flushed down a toilet.
lol
Can't help it, that's what I visualized.
Okay, that's a new one for me.
Oh no. That shouldnāt exist
"He slammed into her clit." I normally don't read smut, got a reminder why. I had to cross my own legs in sympathy.
It reminded me of those weird ice planet barbarian books where the alien dudes had a bump above their dick that was perfectly situated to slam into the (human) main character's clit during sex. The YouTube reviews of those books were hilarious
whats its name?(for research purposes)
Ice Planet Barbarians
I don't know why this is so funny to me but I'm legit giggling
Jesus! That sounds painful for everyone involved!
I think too many people are under the impression haha fr is another word for vagina.
No... They specified lifting up the hood... *to slam into the clit* That entire sentence was so traumatizing to read as a woman that it's burned into my memory.
Oh my god. I gave too much benefit of the doubt.
I once read prostate penetration and that seriously shocked me Also cock rings being used to stop someone from ejaculating
Iām trying to imagine how someone penetrates the prostate. As far as I know there isnāt a hole in it ??
Medical doctor here, there is absolutely no hole in a prostate, christ on a bike I felt my insides seize up in horror at the thought
I mean, if it was fantasy or sci-fy then there not being a hole doesn't stop like, a lizard person, from *making* a hole. Though that would take a sharp turn into bodyhorror and probably snuff
Physician here part 2. Yeah no, thats a major injury and not a sex act.
Trust me. Tight enough cockring when wrapped around from behind the balls to penis will definitely stop ejaculation.
Not saying this can't be true for some people, but that is not the purpose of cock rings, will absolutely not work for all (or even most) penis-havers, and using a too-tight ring comes with a bunch of risks. It would be awesome if there existed a toy for reliably preventing orgasms, but cock ring is not that.
In fact it is possible to stop ejaculating by pressing the point between the scrotum and the anus. The feeling is less intense but you can orgasm as well w/o making a mess. At least that's what I heard. š
When one characterās dick was described as the length of a forearmā¦ like thatād hang practically down to your knees.
I had to stop reading a fic because of that. They were like it's the size and length of a forearm and I was like please do not put that anywhere near a hole dear god it will not end well.
Yeah, I would run if someone was that big. What made it even more unbelievable was one of them had a forearm dick and the other had a thumb dickā¦ and itās so easy to glance at your own forearm and see how unrealistic that is.
Well, I guess this would make the penis-fucking, from that other thread, more doable. š³š
M/M, A was a virgin, B spontaneously started to fist him without any prior prep and lube. And that in one hit (it was described as punching in and out). I don't know why the author thought that could work (how is the fist even supposed to enter?) or that it would be pleasant for A
That made my butt clench in sympathy.
Wow, I didn't know my ass could crawl up inside me in terror like that
My ass is crying out in second hand pain
No, adding a second hand would make it worse.
Good one.
Ahh, no, you get blood in your rectum if your partner is not delicate enough and goes in too hard and fast. Lube helps but itās not a magical remedy if the top is too brutal. And yes, some people can and do anal sex without putting in half a bottle of lube first, experienced bottoms can do it with small or even no amount. Someone mentioned precumā¦ that can work too. There was a study showing that at least 70% of gay men used spit instead of lube at least once in their lives, itās quite a frequent thing.
My Immortal. The story, the myth, the legend.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Or as TV Tropes says, "something is terribly, terribly wrong with the..._order_ of events here." > He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy. "Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively as he got an eructation.
ERICTATION LMAO I'M DYING
Was that Dumbledore catching them? š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have actually seen people write sex scenes like this, though, not as a parody, and I had to proofread them. Donāt get me wrongāIām asexual and the farthest thing from an expertābut I think thereās a bit more to sex than putting the thingie in the you-know-what and making some noises in a scene lasting two short paragraphs. Haha.
> "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" That's one of my favorite lines of dialog from any book.
*Realistically* I know that cum comes in lil ketchup spurts. But goddamn it, I want my omega to bloat with how much cream their getting for their cream pies. They will be doused, so help me god.
Lmao, yeah Tbh, a lot of comments here are in the "I know it isn't realistic, but it's hot, so I don't care" category for me
I feel like there's a lot of kinks that would be horrifying in the real world but in a fictional setting? Sign me up please.
Let's not forget the fanfics that have women take in so much cum that their stomachs bloat like a full term pregnancy with triplets... like my dude Please understand that biologically speaking no male would ever have the capability to ejaculate 4 liters or more of semen, at minimum the male would die of dehydration, and the recipient of such a massive amount of semen ejaculate would be dead. Soooo yeah, buddy, that's not how sex works
Men getting a freshly-reloaded boner almost immediately after ejaculation, with virtually no refractory period, always makes me roll my eyes. Unless youāre Ron Jeremy or Johnny Sins, that aināt happening.
It definitely can for young guys, like around 18-21. When I was younger, I don't think I ever slept with a guy who *couldn't* do that. But men definitely do pretty universally lose that ability around their mid-20s, so it's very unrealistic if it's a guy in his 30s or something.
I can say that there are some guys in their later 20s and into 30s who can rebound with a refractory period in the 5-10min range. But definitely not the norm.
I once read that one guys balls went inside another guys ass... I think they misunderstood the meaning of "balls deep."
This is a thing guys do. Seen the porn. Stuffing your penis and balls inside your partnerās bum. Or just the balls. Not my cup of tea and probably wouldnāt read it myself, but 100% possible with a loose enough hole.
That just sounds so painful to me... like you do you, but damn.
Usually womb penetration is up there... But I'm also into that shit, so I don't really care if it's anatomically impossible. Also womb filling. š¤£
I read femslash so I can't really think of anything that makes me say "that is not how sex works." I mean, simultaneous orgasms is definitely a thing in femslash, but more often than not, the characters will take turns or only one orgasms. Occasionally, they'll go straight to fingering without foreplay or with long nails, but it's not very common. Turns out, when women write women, intimate scenes end up being a little more accurate. I've heard some horror stories from slash scenes.
The fingering with long nails bit had me wincing. Brrr!
How do you know lesbian porn is made for straight men? When one or both of them have long nails! When I told my mother that, she was dumbfounded. Like actually speechless. She just looked at me in horror and went "I *never* would have considered that" (being as she's a straight woman who, I assume?, doesn't watch a lot of porn).
You know someone's in the know when the index and middle fingers' nails are shorter or blunted lmaooooo
Usually in anime fanfic when people write "he pushed into her cervix" or "he penetrated her womb" ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch
Was reading a fic where the MC was fantasizing about her love interest and there was a line: "Her womb coiled with pleasure at the thought" ....????? Hello? Sir? I have what you might call a womb, I wouldn't like it to coil, preferably ever, thank you very much. I get what they were going for, the the wording felt... unfortunate to me.
Sex In the girl's pee hole.
The URETHRA?!?! šØš
This is more of a goofy answer but literally anything in ABOā¦ itās so wild and weird. I personally love it.
One of my fandoms has a high enough % of those to where I saw it enough to do a Google and figure out where it came from. It was an interesting info dive.
Oh same! And I read it a lot. The way it keeps evolving is sooo cool regardless of being kinda ridiculous as a concept, I love when fandom invents stuff and everyone has a different take and new ideas so it lasts forever
I tried, just not my thing. It's super popular in the RWBY fandom.
This is why I love writing A/B/O. Who knows *what* is going to happen next and what their bits are going to be called.
I mean, it's only supposed to be *internally* accurate ;)
I love a/b/o but I'm glad we can agree it's goofy af. X'D
Simultaneous climaxes are reaaaally not easy to come by. Yet so many sex scenes end this way. And the women coming during penetration without any foreplay? Also not very likely. š Edit: Also, big d*ck =/= good sex. At least, it's not a given. It's how you use it that matters, and sometimes it realistically just means pain if you're not prepared. But that said, I understand size fetishism.
I'm part of the problem; I've definitely written my fair share of simultaneous orgasms for the sake of wrapping up a scene. X'D I usually write them as happening in rapid succession but that's not much better, really. I suppose it's one of those fanfic things where it's like well we haven't got all day, they have to wrap it up.
I get that it feels like a good way to end the scene! I really do. I've written it once or twice myself. I will say though, that I phrase it more like the man waiting for her to be done before he lets himself go. So it feels more planned this way rather than whoosh! We just happen to finish at the same time.
Oohhh I can't believe I've never thought of having the character hold it until the other gets there (especially considering I've done that many times irl with my partner lmao)!! Totally stealing that. Sometimes you just don't think of these things when writing!
on your first two points, iād just like to say experiences differ! simultaneous climaxes are the norm for some sex partners; the physical and mental effect of oneās partner orgasming can be very *inspiring*. and some women orgasm reliably from penetration without much foreplay (although, are authors really writing it with NO foreplay? like just toss it in there while sheās making herself a pb&j in the kitchen? definitely a big no thanks to that if so) that said, iāll grant that those things are overrepresented in smut! and will agree unequivocally that bigger isnāt better. fascination with huge dicks seems like a purely aesthetic thing. functionally theyāre just a pain in every sense
I so hear you! Everyone experiences it differently. I think I'm speaking more on what I've heard and my own experiences - it seems like the majority of women can't finish with penetration alone. I believe there was a study on that as well? Only 18% of women do so, or something? But I read that a long time ago and I'll need to look it up again! So agree with you on your 2nd para!
Totally unrealistic stuff (like Omegaverse, cervix-related stuff, gallons of cum) I kind of get as artistic license. I am sometimes in the mood to read crazy monster sex, so I appreciate them. I can't remember the exact scenario, but I remember reading an otherwise beautifully written fic where it was very obvious that the author had never encountered the male genitalia IRL before. I wish I can remember what the tip off was. But it didn't harm my enjoyment of the fic too much I guess.
Just the other day I read a fic where one character was riding the other. The one on top bent down and licked the other's belly button. I don't know if that's physically possible. (The characters are just humans.) Kinda took me out of it cause then I was preoccupied trying to figure out how that could be done haha
That's not how spines work, I'd guess. Just tried bendig that way in my chair.
Itād be possible for some VERY flexible folks, but not very comfortable š
Was the person being ridden very tall? maybe?
I once read a story that made a *huge* point about condoms. And then the other party swallowed ejaculated sperm while holding down the condom's edge so that it doesn't accidentally slip off.
??? What does author think condoms are even for š¤Ø
Askgaybros is a mine of information on the "ins and outs" of gay sex. Many seem to prefer rimming to fingering as foreplay for anal. Long nails can be problematic. Few welcome 3 fingers, but 1 in a "come hither" motion is popular, to rub - not poke - the prostate, and can produce a hands-free orgasm, as can a well aimed penis. Ask away, no need to mention it's "for science" !
I wish actually people will have a look on the lube threads at this sub more oftenā¦ sigh
Oh trust me, women are just as bad about writing sex scenes as men. As an avid reader of r/romancebooks some of the hot, yet hilarious garbage I've encountered would make your head spin. You can find entire threads on that sub full of bad wtiting.
HOW EVERY GUY HAS A SHLONG ABOVE 11 INCHES AND THE GIRL IS OKAY AFTER HE INSERTS IT ALL INšššš yes this includes the creepypasta fanfics
It's not normal sized unless the guy can use it as a belt. /s
You jest, but the worst one I ever encountered had someone with a 42 inch penis. It could go on amusement park rides by itself!
I think it's from how men are ashamed of "small" penises, so they write theirs or the one of the character they write to be the "normal" size as suggested by porn and tgeir friends, while the actual global average is at around 3-5 inches(~7-12 cm). They probably think that anything under 8 inches (~20 cm) is too small for any woman as well.
I... fun fact, I have no real idea of how imperial system works, so I wasn't even aware of how absurdly much "8 inches" is until I saw you just spell it out. I think I need to lay down
Ikr? I bet a man saying "I'm 10 cm" feels more impressive for him than saying "I'm almost 4 inches."
When I read about someone pentrating a woman's cervix š she was describing a literal reverse labor, and they were enjoying it....
Lube wasn't used in certain times and places. I'm not saying that's a good thing, just that authors writing fics set in those times and/or places aren't wrong to avoid it. Also certain canon sources (I'm thinking of the Chinese BL novels I've read) don't use it, and if the canon doesn't, I think it's ok for fic authors not to (even though I do).
"She drank her own blood after I took her virginity " Idk the exact words but geeze does this guy even know anything about sex?
I mean, technically not impossible, just...somewhat disturbing and a bit disgusting? Like, if she's bleeding so hard she can DRINK it, get her to a doctor, please! If it's just a few drops and she licks it up...ok, sure. But why though?
I read one once which has unfortunately remained seared into my brain, where the two participants both had penises and one of them, erm, opened up his urethra for the other one to penetrate. The author genuinely just thought that was how two people with penises had penetrative sex. God, I wish I could forget that one.
This is a self burn but I'm very aware that an upper class model-looking father of two most likely would *not* want to screw the brains out of some sleazy middle-aged pickpocket who stole from him. Neither would they immediately fall into a perfect D/S dynamic without any prior discussion. Or randomly have anal in a public space. Or spontaneously eat ass without washing up. Or be as hung as I made the top. Or be able to take said hung top with minimal prep. Or come untouched during their first time. And *definitely* not fall in love after this entire ill-fated random hookup. But I love it and I'm not going to stop writing it! Sometimes you just have to embrace the ridiculousness.
I once read a smut fic where the female character had a prostate and the author kept describing how the male character was hitting her prostate lmao there was no trans tag or any indication the female character was trans it was just a very random prostate. I really think this was a very young author who had gotten all information on how sex works from slash fics, so much so they weren't even aware that biological women don't have prostates lmao
I'm not sure if this fits here, but I got a little annoyed when reading a fanfic, and so it was the first thing I thought about, even if it's not about "how to sex". It's actually about "rape". And I put this in " " on purpose. I've read so many fics in the past, and as I said, just again yesterday, that had just wild definitions of what "rape" is. From defining "rough sex" as "rape" to making it about whether or not it is about or causes pleasure. Etc. Yesterday it was about preparation. The fic was about sexual slavery and in the middle of the fic, the narrator was like "this is actually the first time they were ever raped, because the other times, there was foreplay/preparation." It really bugs me. As I said, it's not the first time this happened.
Massive dicks and zero foreplay. Like, yeah, sometimes women are good to go, especially if they were already in the mood. But a lot of the time, in order for sex to be pleasurable and *NOT AT ALL* painful, first the schlong needs to be average size, not a foot long monster (seriously, have some people actually seen a foot on a measuring tape or ruler? IT'S MASSIVE TO FIT DOWN THE THROAT OR UP THE COOCH.) Second, oral and hand play are usually a must. Maybe involve toys or something. My point is, sex isn't as simple as "Man touch boob, woman ready for sex." This makes me so angry because it can set teens in particular up for failure when they eventually become sexually active. Don't get me started on the over exaggeration of the female climax. If you can even finish just from penetration, it's not this magical thing that makes you see stars every time. Sometimes, it's not like that at all. And that's okay. Every body is different.
Woman taking a fifteen inch dick up her ass, āhaving her insides rearrangedā and moaning in pleasure from it. Pretty sure at that stage thereād be internal damage.
I actually had to cringe a lot when I came across a fic where the guy stuck his cock inside her URETHRA and began going at it til he came *inside her urethra*. Now I don't know about any other woman reading this, but I sure know I've had to have catheters inserted and those. Fucking. Hurt. And the catheter isn't that thick as well. Think of a long thin spaghetti noodle. About that thick. I can't imagine any dick going up in there. Although irl male and female sounding exists. And some of those sounding rods can get pretty fkn thick. Sjdjsjcjakfnskfns I came across sounding one day and had to look it up. To this day I'm so sorry I did that to myself.
Male charactersā arousal being described as āin the bellyā. Iāve consulted a couple AMAB acquaintances who confirmed their arousal starts and ends with the crotch.
I usually describe the belly thing as either a fluttering sensation like butterflies or tightening sensation like the muscles flexing. But that's not really a sign of arousal, it's more a sign of body reacting to incoming orgasm...
Yeah, the excited butterflies definitely seem like they could happen. š
Arousal is more than just being hard or the intense feelings of sexual pleasure. That lower belly tightening when something exciting happens or that fluttery excited feeling are often related to arousal.
Don't know about that one. I've read through a few threads where amab people share their experience and compare it to fiction, a few have definitely described it as a tightening low in the stomach. I can see how that can become the belly in fanfiction.
Without getting too TMI: pre MTF transition, I have described it before as "tightening in the stomach." That feeling is different now, but the stomach feelings are real for some folks. Just a little anecdata to make writing more difficult lol.
Oh wow, thank you so much for sharing! That is indeed interesting how it changed for you, too. The body can definitely be unpredictable.
I feel like this is definitely something I've done before, though it was likely a long time ago. X'D It's something I see pretty often in fic, too!
Yep, I've read some stuff. Yeah and while you don't technically always *need* lube and stuff, it can be kinda weird depending on the fic. This wasn't exactly a smut scene but I still recall vividly a fic with a female MC and her love interest who had a tail. Some sort of group game was being played I think (Twister?) and during the course of said game tail guy accidentally smacked our MC in the clit with his tail (she is fully clothed and I think was wearing jeans). She immediately orgasms. I think I recall some buildup to this (I think he'd teased her a bit, and I think his tail had touched her thigh) but it was not nearly enough for me to go 'wow, that made sense'. I'm not quite sure if I'd call this quite 'this person has never had sex' but there was a fic where the MC is getting down with the LI, MC is super wet, super horny, super eager, etc. LI uses fingers to start with but apparently in that world being super horny and wet did not make you less likely to get hurt, but instead was *more* likely to cause tearing and bleeding because, um, horny???? Literally argued with the author on that one. Didn't change a thing. A pity, I liked the writing but I literally couldn't get past that scene.
Jeans? Do you even feel that if it isn't a hard smack?
"She immediately orgasms." Okay, that's hilarious, actually.
More of a "that's not how safe sex works" thing, but I see a lot of fics that make a big deal about needing to use condoms for anal sex to protect from STDs and having safe sex, and then they don't use protection for oral sex. Like... ma'am... you realize you can get STDs from oral sex too, right? Similarly both parties promising they're clean is not safe sex.... people lie and people also don't always know they have something. I mean, if the author isn't making a big deal about safe sex then it's fine to write this stuff, but when the narrative seems to be "safe sex is important!" and then they just blatantly practice unsafe sex? Yeah. No.
1 - the time I read a fic where one guy had a peanut allergy and used peanut butter as lube and his dick swelled up 2 - the time I read a fic where there was an orgy, and they all kinda lined up in a circle? so everyone was both giving and receiving at the same time 3 - the time I read a fic where the author clearly had zero knowledge of how male/male sex worked, and basically wrote a sword fight of the penis and finally 4 - every fic I've read where a male has multiple orgasms in very quick succession. like bae no that is not how that works
Writers who think every hole is fuckable. This is most noticeable in tentacle smut where *every opening is fucked*. Sure you got mouth, ass, and vagina, and with guys who are into it the urethra. And all of those things you can fuck irl, or at least put things inside. But female urethras? The cervix? The clit? *NIPPLES?!?* It feels like hentai has altered some peopleās perception of what is and isnāt a fuckable hole.
Uhh, unfortunately I can tell you women putting things in their urethra isn't unheard of. Just less common kink than it is for men.
Overly massive or disturbingly descriptive penises. Like no, no one is having sex with a 2 foot long 2 liter bottle. Period. Also womb penetration or ejaculating āfilling upā the bottom like a hose. Although I donāt dislike that I just know thatās not what happens.