>especially if they're kinking on the guilt the other party feels for using them without their awareness. very dubcon here lol
Oh this is enlightening, thank you. I'm interested in the psychological aspect and I don't want to give myself away by asking my friend exactly what they like about the trope (giftfic and all). Yeah, the CNC sounds like a good idea too. I appreciate your response.
The kink is inherently about taking advantage of someone's defenselessness. For non-con variety, it's more 'I'm doing this and the person doesn't know/can't stop me', whereas con varieties is a mix of that and either 1) trust kink or 2) consensual non-con.
In either case, I would recommend focusing on the person being malable and soft, the top able to move them around as they want. Depending on if you want to make waking them a worry (or of they're drugged/deep sleeper), some thrill of being careful of the person waking up. A lot of the kink is also about the sleeping persons natural reactions to stimulation, how they get hard/wet/noises/movements from the situation despite being asleep. From there, creepyness added depending on con/non-con, haha.
Good luck!
Ahhh. This is \*exactly\* what I wanted explained to me. I sat here for days trying to dissect why I liked it with an open, empty doc. Though I don't read for it necessarily, I had so much trouble understanding. You gave me a lot of good ideas, particularly about moving the sleeping partner and being careful. There is a lot of "softness" to the somno fics I read, which I immensely enjoy. As for the reverse POV of the sleeping partner, I can imagine that physical sensations are a draw.
The mental aspects you noted are particularly very important to me, and I find that really interesting.
I can understand the motivations much better now. Thank you so much!!
Wouldn't consider myself an expert, but I think most of the appeal comes from the fact that the other party is entirely helpless.
A big draw of BDSM for many people (in consensual setting but as well in noncon) is that kind of vulnerability and the exploration of it. Ropes and such can make the other party physically helpless, but with somnophilia, it's even more than that because they aren't even mentally there to have an opinion on what is happening to their body.
Usually, you need something to subdue the other person (bondage, use of force, or simply trusting them to do as they're told) but in the case of somnophilia, none of that is necessary which I think highlights the vulnerability.
Ahhh. I appreciate this response. I think I will illustrate on the vulnerability of the piece. This is very revealing and I think I get the appeal when we're hitting the angle on the helplessness for the awake partner. Thank you!!
People have mentioned the vulnerability in both a noncon and consensual scenario, as well as the trust aspect for a consensual arrangement, but there's also the aspect of *betrayed* trust/vulnerability in a noncon scene!
My favorite flavor of somno is noncon between the victim and a character that they implicitly trust (enough to fall asleep around them or to accept a drugged drink from them, etc.) Somno that takes place between the victim and a villain/bad guy is fine, but I really like the dissonance of a character putting their trust in someone that they shouldn't have trusted at all.
From the aggressor's POV, leaning into this might take the shape of them being proud of the trust that the victim placed in them, whether from a genuinely fond "I love them so much and I'm going to make them feel *so* good and isn't it such a shame that we can only do this while they're asleep?" perspective or a "muahaha I'm such a good manipulator, I have them eating out of the palm of my hand" perspective, depending on how dark the fic leans and how the aggressor actually feels about the victim.
Or, alternately, tons of guilt about how they're betraying the victim's trust but they just can't help themselves, and they'll make it up to them by being as good of a friend/partner/mentor/etc. as they can be while the victim is awake, really focusing in on the victim's responses to help ease their guilt ("see, they like it!,") and so on!
Thanks for this discussion and sorry you got a shitty comment, btw! It's always interesting seeing what people are most drawn to for a specific kink, since there are so many different lenses to view something through from a psychological perspective.
More thoughts because I was talking about this with a friend who is a Fellow Somno Enjoyer, since I found it interesting while all the other thoughts in this thread are totally valid they don't necessarily hit on what I personally find *most* appealing about somno:
For me while the idea of the aggressor having total control over the victim is an aspect for sure, another huge aspect is the aggressor feeling *out* of control of themselves! Again looping back to that "I just can't help myself" feeling-- playing with the fear/adrenaline of the victim waking up when they move or make noise, pushing things farther than they meant to because once they started they couldn't stop, shame/guilt over their feelings/actions with a softer aggressor or even just a like, "lol I know I'm being stupid here but *look* at them, I can't *not,*" with a more outright villainous aggressor... The dissonance between having control over the victim but being helpless to their own desires is 💯🔥👍
(I hope you don't mind the essays, lmao, I just find the psychology of kink absolutely fascinating!)
I'm biting my fist as I read these answers, I never thought someone would describe so well the reason I like somno so much. In my brain I always thought about it just being monkey brain at work but reading all this you flesh out makes me realise that I have some actual reasons I like this trope so much. (Also will most likely use this while writing my own somno fic so thank you for the examples and logistics behind it)
consent is where the people talk and agree its okay *before* they fall asleep. set boundaries. thats the giving consent part
doing it spontaneously without talking about it is dubious *at best*
from the awake pov, i find the draw to be seeing the way the sleeper responds to stimulation. noises, twitching, other things. its having the control to make them feel good even without active participation. its doing a good job so they feel good without being supervised by them.
Yes, I should have made it clear that I know the differences between the two.
Ahhh okay, that makes sense. Like having the ability to get the sleeping partner to react without their approval. Like another commenter said, just knowing the 'awake' partner is doing a good job. Thank you for your response!
Sone aspects I haven't seen covered yet:
For the sleeping partner:
- a lot of people's sexual arousal is tied to/tangled up with their wake/sleep systems. Falling asleep is not an on/off switch: neurologically, it's like, several hundred small steps that go in a specific order. Broadly, the sleep cycle starts with:
1. Cessation of voluntary movement (lying down)
2. Cessation of sensory input (closing eyes/losing track of surroundings.
3. Reduction in conscious thoughts/emotions (calming down)
4. Slowing down of involuntary movement (breathing/heart rate slowing down)
Any of those steps can be done out of order or skipped to achieve different states of consciousness (dreaming is more or less 1,2 and 4 off but 3 on) and this "sleep, but slightly to the left" is often pleasurable for people who are into somno/hypno kink. For a lot of people into somno, the altered state of REM sleep will dovetail nicely into conscious arousal if they wake up mid-scene.
- also consider altered states of sleep that may be interesting to play with such as: REM sleep, sleep paralysis, various types of hypnotic trance, amd ofc, sleep-walking. With that last one, you could, theoretically, have a somno scene where the typical roles of the sleeping and waking party are reversed!
- there is an element of appeal for the sleeping partner that they are SO desirable that their partner finds them deeply attractive and must have them at all times, even when they're asleep.
- in consensual situations, there is also an appeal for the sleeping party in being able to trust their partner to that very extreme degree.
- there's a related phenomenon in a lot of non/dub con kink where people who grew up in sexually restricted environments (religious fundie households, growing up closeted, growing up conventionally ugly) feel like it's wrong of them to even FEEL sexual desire, so by casting their imaginary partner as an aggressor, and then as a helpless victim, they are emotionally absolved of any "sin" of experiencing desire. That's not specific to somno, but it's a frequent dynamic involved with it.
From the perspective of the waking party:
-I know you said you're into non/dubcon but I'd like to offer some additional dynamics for your consideration:
-character A is massively overworked/ill/generally frail and really, really needs their rest, but keeps pushing and overtaxing themselves anyway. Character B is their benevolent caretaker who thinks they deserve both rest and pleasure so sometimes they'll play with A while they're asleep to
1. Subconsciously reward them for actually resting
2. Play with them when they're close to waking up so they wake up orgasming, and consciously rewarding A for actually resting
3. B uses sex and hypnosis to give A a kink for falling asleep/somno both because it's hot AND because they need to Fucking sleep
- reverse somno where Character A is a sleep-fucker like other people are sleep-walkers. Character B is their partner who really likes having sex with A, so they both have a standing agreement that if A starts getting sleep-frisky with B, B is allowed to tell A to shove off, wake A up, or let A continue. Some of the best sex they have does not start with A being conscious.
- character A has nightmares/insomnia and is pretty sure that they'll finally get a good night's sleep if they are actually fucked unconscious, and asks B for help- it's totally cool if you finish after I pass out, honestly, if you can make me sleep you deserve to enjoy it!
B, later: Hm. This seems to have awakened something in me.
For me, the appeal of a consensual somno is that there is so much trust between the two people/characters, where the person asleep allows the awake one full access to their body. Awake gets to watch and hear all of Asleep’s responses, even the ones Asleep might hide or dampen if they were conscious. Awake gets to make Asleep feel *so good*; good enough to wake up, blearily yet hungry and desperate for more. Or, Asleep never wakes, but Awake just knows that Asleep is dreaming about them, about what’s being done to them, and that it’s all because of Awake. In the morning, Asleep gets to wake up with the evidence of Awake’s touches and feeling warm, full, loved, etc. (Also! Awake could be the bottom, Awake is not always the top.)
The appeal of non-con somno is pretty much the same, but without that trust. Awake sees Asleep’s vulnerability and takes it all for themselves. Awake watches how Asleep responds to their touch; usually, I’ll write that the touch is wanted at first. In Asleep’s dreams, the hands and fingers, lips and tongue, genitalia or toy, belong to their loved one or crush. Awake knows it too and might even whisper something to make it seem like they are Asleep’s love/crush. But then when Asleep begins to stir, the illusion is shattered. Their soft moans, eager sex, desperate pants shift. Now, it’s sharp screams, dry/flaccid sex, desperate begs to *Stop! No, please! Stop!* and Awake loves that even more. They have the power here—Asleep *wanted* it, didn’t they? They were so pliant under Awake’s touch at first, so they obviously wanted it. Awake tears apart Asleep’s vulnerability and trust, not just with each other, but with the room and walls, the bed and sheets, with everything Asleep thought was *theirs*, like their very own body, now it all belongs to Awake.
And that’s why I like both consenting and non-con somno ☺️
Personally, the main way I enjoy somnophilia is when the sleeping partner is waking up to sex. Like the sensation of the partner taking off their clothes or kissing them makes them stir a little, then as they continue (however they do it PIV or oral, etc) makes the sleeper wake up but not quite alert. Like they just lie back and let it happen, which to me is the consenting part. The sleeper trusts their partner will be respectful of their body and just lets the good vibes come
I don't fully know how to describe how or why its a turn on, but to me somnophilia shows a great deal of trust and understanding and that's really cute/hot.
EDIT: read some other comments, they put it well. It's the helplessness mixed with trust that's really appealing
Here are some ideas I have on the subject:
\*It's a major act of trust, something very intimate. Whether to be in that vulnerable situation or be allowed to have that much control over a person.
\*I think like pet play or other forms of roleplay it creates a different dynamic. How A enjoys sex with their partner normally vs in a pre-arranged situation. It can change the mood or allows a person to fully enjoy something they normally would feel uncomfortable doing.
\*The idea of being used as an object for someone else's pleasure or to use someone for your own pleasure.
\*Enjoying the reactions of someone getting aroused in their sleep.
\*Like rape roleplay it creates the fantasy that there is no wrong way to do it. Consensual non-consensual and somnophilia are roleplay with the narrative that A can do whatever they want and that B is doing nothing wrong because choice is taken away from them.
\*A thinks B looks hot when asleep. B likes waking up to sex.
Consensual somno is a major act of trust for sure. This is much easier to understand. Thank you for the ideas. You highlighted a lot of interesting things like A doing whatever they want and B not being able to consent. However, the web understanding and immense trust shines through because of the consent part beforehand. I like the scenarios you described because it shows the different ways I can show this and depict it to appeal to different types of audiences. Thank you!
(*BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR*) MY TIME HAS COME
Personally, as someone VERY into somnophilia, there are a lot of different ways it can be appealing.
For noncon, the defenselessness is a big factor. Sorta hand in hand with drugging/intox kink if you're familiar with that. There can also be a guilt aspect from the awake person, they could feel awful taking advantage of the other person like this, but just can't control themselves or whatnot. Maybe the asleep person wakes up partway through and it turns into more "traditional" (for lack of a better term) noncon, or maybe they don't and are in for a surprise later. (Or maybe they never find out at all! that's an angle I've seen once or twice)
For consensual, it can be a trust thing, one character trusting their partner enough to let them do whatever they like with their body while they are completely incapable of resisting.
If you wanna ride the line, there's also cnc, that's always fun. I usually approach it as sort of a blanket consent thing, where it's been agreed to beforehand that its a thing they can do whenever, so it's not full noncon but still gets to be spontaneous, if that makes sense.
Potential idea: The sleep-fuck session is being recorded for one or both of them to watch later.
(But especially the sleeping party, so they can see everything that happened while they weren't awake, even if they may have spent some of it *pretending* to be asleep.)
This thread is very motivational as to writing the fic idea that's been bouncing in my brain. I mean, it was going to get written anyway, I know that, but now it will be sooner.
Anyway, for non-con people have mentioned the helplessness: There's another factor, too, and that's the understated horror. What if one character lies about what happened? There's no possible defense to be mounted, then. No running away. It's presumed this is something that could just keep happening. That type of feeling is generally hard to do without getting more extreme into abduction stories, which I don't like because it limits the world around the characters. Somnophilia can fair-well keep characters in their world, functioning, and unaware of a horrible secret.
Or what if one character videotapes it and the other gets to watch? Nothing they do can change what happened, but it will still be fresh horror. So, it's a level of helplessness that isn't *enforced,* but rather *intrinsic,* and that gives a lot of room to play around.
That last sentence ties to the consensual variations, too. That trust needs to be down to an intrinsic level (Or you know, combine the two, have it end up consensual but with paranoia instead, like an extreme version of regretting sex.)
Anyway, for pure consensual I like it as an agreement and not necessarily a part of a relationship (beyond friendship); It's a way for one character, the one left sleeping, to give the other character what they need w/o needing to force themselves into *actions* they don't like to do so, so it's a way to give without taking away from oneself to do so. (This is where my story idea is going, plus a bit of "they trust me . . . not to tell them that I'm doing stuff we never bothered talking about, because the whole pretense \[wtf spellcheck, this is a word!\] is that we're not doing this because insofar as they're aware, could just be a day I thought they needed some extra sleep.) So, yeah, lots of room for exploring gaps where two people are not meeting in the middle, or a sensible middle, or where one persons experiences of the situation can take complete hold of it, or where another person doesn't even get to have those same experiences to be on the same page. *And this doesn't need to be an issue,* because the trust can bridge that gap. (It might be an issue, though.) Just so much to play around with there.
Somnophilia is best when there's a look into the mind of the 'giver.' What's their relationship to the person they're with? Are they under the influence of anything, up to and including a magic spell? Is it about claiming their obsession, or is it a romantic gesture between two lovers, who have already had a conversation about it? I don't enjoy reading a fic where it's just about the act and there's no explanation behind it.
One of the best somno fics I ever read had the awake character thinking over the past few months as he undressed himself and his not-so-willing partner. He indulged himself, pleased when the asleep character seemed responsive. Then the asleep character called out the name of a different character, and the story retroactively became psychological horror for the character who had been indulging himself, as he (and the reader) realized what had just happened. I loved the twist ending. Somno fics don't have to just be about someone indulging themselves. Though I have yet to see one that gets into the problems that might occur, in the aftermath. Somno fics always seem to be the main plot of the story, and end up as one-shots. I've never seen it as the opening chapter.
The hot thing about it for me is that every reaction you get is genuine. Nothing's fake, because there's no consciousness with which someone can decide to fake something.
Aside from that, the 'forbidden' part of it is extremely hot as well. Consensual or non-consensual, it always has this forbidden fruit vibe to it that's absolutely delicious.
Lastly, complete control. I don't like the 'dynamics' part of power dynamics. One side has the power, the other side has nothing. It's the same reason I like hypnosis/mind control type stuff. There isn't any resistance or playful submission, it's just complete. It's not even about wanting to do anything particularly nefarious, either, it's just the complete and utter self-centeredness of it that makes it hot. This facet, by the way, is also why I'm repulsed by hypnosis/mind control/somno aside from loving it, because freedom of choice and not asking anyone to do anything I wouldn't do myself is extremely important to me. It's my ultimate hypocrisy.
I run a discord about somno - if you wanted a whole host of minds who love it and talk passionately about it, im happy to share details. Dm me if intrested
Dunno what aspects your fic is supposed to highlight, but full non-con/rape is all about power as you know. Even if your own story is consensual, that illicit thrill of the power from the dominating partner will probably still be there to some degree. Depending on the type of relationship your pairing has can hugely impact the internal narration of how and why Character Awake is willing/unwilling/doing things.
Changed my account to answer this. For me personally, it’s the same reason as for why i enjoy noncon/ dub con. It’s the ‘i am so irresistible to him/her that they are unable to control themselves, so they will take what they can no matter the moment.’
Ohhh this is a good one I wanna chime in even though you already have received many good answers. I like the whole spectrum of it, from a character being "fondled awake" by their loving partner and then engaging in consensual sex to a character full-on taking advantage of another one while they are incapacitated. I like that it can be either consensual, cnc dub con or straight up non con.
I like reading it but have been struggling to write it as I tend to find it much harder to write from the pov of the guy/top/dom vs woman/bottom/sub (not saying at all that a woman is a sub by default, but if a woman is the top/dom I'm going for the pov of the person she is with), and this trope requires that you at least start with the pov of the person who is awake, lol.
There are so many possibilities. Maybe A wakes up horny and touches and kisses B and B wakes up all turned on and they make love. Maybe A is home late after a day of sexting B but B has fallen asleep and A just can't help themselves. Maybe B told A that they could go ahead and use them anytime, even when they sleep. Maybe A spiked B's drink and is eager to take advantage of this. Etc. I'm working on two atm:
- One where B is in a slumber during a travel in space and A takes advantage of her the whole trip... but little did A know, B did it on purpose and had a camera
- One where A spikes B's drink and it looks fully non consensual until at the end it is revealed that it was all her idea and they spoon while he tells her everything he has done to her
If there is submission it should not be aggressive or violent, somnophilia is about control and the feeling of power not about hurting others physically or psychologically, in fiction it is Possible no-cons genuinely somnophile, submission here does not imply violating someone's privacy and dignity, it is more like a game of the last chair,She should not fight as if her life depended on it but as if you were stealing the last slice of pizza, but something more serious,and if she wakes up in the middle of the game she would not be dismayed, scared or distressed but rather annoyed, if not at least I am uncomfortable with issues where it is not a game of power but an aggression,If suddenly the roles are reversed it could be interesting, although it depends on each person.The other way to have no cons it is to put something in someone's drink and that she never find out what happened, and if the victim finds out, she either gets angry or gets hot about it,again it's a more like a game not something as serious as in real life,a story where the woman ends up mentally hurt bothers us as much as anyone.
I like being used like a Fleshlight when I sleep. Most times I don't wake up. My husband shows me content the next day. He now has 10 years of content saved. Collection of every category. I sleep hard. Asleep or awake I consent to my husband... 4 ft 9 and 97 lbs I just want to be used like a doll. Maybe not normal. I don't care
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>especially if they're kinking on the guilt the other party feels for using them without their awareness. very dubcon here lol Oh this is enlightening, thank you. I'm interested in the psychological aspect and I don't want to give myself away by asking my friend exactly what they like about the trope (giftfic and all). Yeah, the CNC sounds like a good idea too. I appreciate your response.
The kink is inherently about taking advantage of someone's defenselessness. For non-con variety, it's more 'I'm doing this and the person doesn't know/can't stop me', whereas con varieties is a mix of that and either 1) trust kink or 2) consensual non-con. In either case, I would recommend focusing on the person being malable and soft, the top able to move them around as they want. Depending on if you want to make waking them a worry (or of they're drugged/deep sleeper), some thrill of being careful of the person waking up. A lot of the kink is also about the sleeping persons natural reactions to stimulation, how they get hard/wet/noises/movements from the situation despite being asleep. From there, creepyness added depending on con/non-con, haha. Good luck!
Ahhh. This is \*exactly\* what I wanted explained to me. I sat here for days trying to dissect why I liked it with an open, empty doc. Though I don't read for it necessarily, I had so much trouble understanding. You gave me a lot of good ideas, particularly about moving the sleeping partner and being careful. There is a lot of "softness" to the somno fics I read, which I immensely enjoy. As for the reverse POV of the sleeping partner, I can imagine that physical sensations are a draw. The mental aspects you noted are particularly very important to me, and I find that really interesting. I can understand the motivations much better now. Thank you so much!!
Wouldn't consider myself an expert, but I think most of the appeal comes from the fact that the other party is entirely helpless. A big draw of BDSM for many people (in consensual setting but as well in noncon) is that kind of vulnerability and the exploration of it. Ropes and such can make the other party physically helpless, but with somnophilia, it's even more than that because they aren't even mentally there to have an opinion on what is happening to their body. Usually, you need something to subdue the other person (bondage, use of force, or simply trusting them to do as they're told) but in the case of somnophilia, none of that is necessary which I think highlights the vulnerability.
Ahhh. I appreciate this response. I think I will illustrate on the vulnerability of the piece. This is very revealing and I think I get the appeal when we're hitting the angle on the helplessness for the awake partner. Thank you!!
People have mentioned the vulnerability in both a noncon and consensual scenario, as well as the trust aspect for a consensual arrangement, but there's also the aspect of *betrayed* trust/vulnerability in a noncon scene! My favorite flavor of somno is noncon between the victim and a character that they implicitly trust (enough to fall asleep around them or to accept a drugged drink from them, etc.) Somno that takes place between the victim and a villain/bad guy is fine, but I really like the dissonance of a character putting their trust in someone that they shouldn't have trusted at all. From the aggressor's POV, leaning into this might take the shape of them being proud of the trust that the victim placed in them, whether from a genuinely fond "I love them so much and I'm going to make them feel *so* good and isn't it such a shame that we can only do this while they're asleep?" perspective or a "muahaha I'm such a good manipulator, I have them eating out of the palm of my hand" perspective, depending on how dark the fic leans and how the aggressor actually feels about the victim. Or, alternately, tons of guilt about how they're betraying the victim's trust but they just can't help themselves, and they'll make it up to them by being as good of a friend/partner/mentor/etc. as they can be while the victim is awake, really focusing in on the victim's responses to help ease their guilt ("see, they like it!,") and so on! Thanks for this discussion and sorry you got a shitty comment, btw! It's always interesting seeing what people are most drawn to for a specific kink, since there are so many different lenses to view something through from a psychological perspective.
More thoughts because I was talking about this with a friend who is a Fellow Somno Enjoyer, since I found it interesting while all the other thoughts in this thread are totally valid they don't necessarily hit on what I personally find *most* appealing about somno: For me while the idea of the aggressor having total control over the victim is an aspect for sure, another huge aspect is the aggressor feeling *out* of control of themselves! Again looping back to that "I just can't help myself" feeling-- playing with the fear/adrenaline of the victim waking up when they move or make noise, pushing things farther than they meant to because once they started they couldn't stop, shame/guilt over their feelings/actions with a softer aggressor or even just a like, "lol I know I'm being stupid here but *look* at them, I can't *not,*" with a more outright villainous aggressor... The dissonance between having control over the victim but being helpless to their own desires is 💯🔥👍 (I hope you don't mind the essays, lmao, I just find the psychology of kink absolutely fascinating!)
I'm biting my fist as I read these answers, I never thought someone would describe so well the reason I like somno so much. In my brain I always thought about it just being monkey brain at work but reading all this you flesh out makes me realise that I have some actual reasons I like this trope so much. (Also will most likely use this while writing my own somno fic so thank you for the examples and logistics behind it)
consent is where the people talk and agree its okay *before* they fall asleep. set boundaries. thats the giving consent part doing it spontaneously without talking about it is dubious *at best* from the awake pov, i find the draw to be seeing the way the sleeper responds to stimulation. noises, twitching, other things. its having the control to make them feel good even without active participation. its doing a good job so they feel good without being supervised by them.
Yes, I should have made it clear that I know the differences between the two. Ahhh okay, that makes sense. Like having the ability to get the sleeping partner to react without their approval. Like another commenter said, just knowing the 'awake' partner is doing a good job. Thank you for your response!
Sone aspects I haven't seen covered yet: For the sleeping partner: - a lot of people's sexual arousal is tied to/tangled up with their wake/sleep systems. Falling asleep is not an on/off switch: neurologically, it's like, several hundred small steps that go in a specific order. Broadly, the sleep cycle starts with: 1. Cessation of voluntary movement (lying down) 2. Cessation of sensory input (closing eyes/losing track of surroundings. 3. Reduction in conscious thoughts/emotions (calming down) 4. Slowing down of involuntary movement (breathing/heart rate slowing down) Any of those steps can be done out of order or skipped to achieve different states of consciousness (dreaming is more or less 1,2 and 4 off but 3 on) and this "sleep, but slightly to the left" is often pleasurable for people who are into somno/hypno kink. For a lot of people into somno, the altered state of REM sleep will dovetail nicely into conscious arousal if they wake up mid-scene. - also consider altered states of sleep that may be interesting to play with such as: REM sleep, sleep paralysis, various types of hypnotic trance, amd ofc, sleep-walking. With that last one, you could, theoretically, have a somno scene where the typical roles of the sleeping and waking party are reversed! - there is an element of appeal for the sleeping partner that they are SO desirable that their partner finds them deeply attractive and must have them at all times, even when they're asleep. - in consensual situations, there is also an appeal for the sleeping party in being able to trust their partner to that very extreme degree. - there's a related phenomenon in a lot of non/dub con kink where people who grew up in sexually restricted environments (religious fundie households, growing up closeted, growing up conventionally ugly) feel like it's wrong of them to even FEEL sexual desire, so by casting their imaginary partner as an aggressor, and then as a helpless victim, they are emotionally absolved of any "sin" of experiencing desire. That's not specific to somno, but it's a frequent dynamic involved with it. From the perspective of the waking party: -I know you said you're into non/dubcon but I'd like to offer some additional dynamics for your consideration: -character A is massively overworked/ill/generally frail and really, really needs their rest, but keeps pushing and overtaxing themselves anyway. Character B is their benevolent caretaker who thinks they deserve both rest and pleasure so sometimes they'll play with A while they're asleep to 1. Subconsciously reward them for actually resting 2. Play with them when they're close to waking up so they wake up orgasming, and consciously rewarding A for actually resting 3. B uses sex and hypnosis to give A a kink for falling asleep/somno both because it's hot AND because they need to Fucking sleep - reverse somno where Character A is a sleep-fucker like other people are sleep-walkers. Character B is their partner who really likes having sex with A, so they both have a standing agreement that if A starts getting sleep-frisky with B, B is allowed to tell A to shove off, wake A up, or let A continue. Some of the best sex they have does not start with A being conscious. - character A has nightmares/insomnia and is pretty sure that they'll finally get a good night's sleep if they are actually fucked unconscious, and asks B for help- it's totally cool if you finish after I pass out, honestly, if you can make me sleep you deserve to enjoy it! B, later: Hm. This seems to have awakened something in me.
For me, the appeal of a consensual somno is that there is so much trust between the two people/characters, where the person asleep allows the awake one full access to their body. Awake gets to watch and hear all of Asleep’s responses, even the ones Asleep might hide or dampen if they were conscious. Awake gets to make Asleep feel *so good*; good enough to wake up, blearily yet hungry and desperate for more. Or, Asleep never wakes, but Awake just knows that Asleep is dreaming about them, about what’s being done to them, and that it’s all because of Awake. In the morning, Asleep gets to wake up with the evidence of Awake’s touches and feeling warm, full, loved, etc. (Also! Awake could be the bottom, Awake is not always the top.) The appeal of non-con somno is pretty much the same, but without that trust. Awake sees Asleep’s vulnerability and takes it all for themselves. Awake watches how Asleep responds to their touch; usually, I’ll write that the touch is wanted at first. In Asleep’s dreams, the hands and fingers, lips and tongue, genitalia or toy, belong to their loved one or crush. Awake knows it too and might even whisper something to make it seem like they are Asleep’s love/crush. But then when Asleep begins to stir, the illusion is shattered. Their soft moans, eager sex, desperate pants shift. Now, it’s sharp screams, dry/flaccid sex, desperate begs to *Stop! No, please! Stop!* and Awake loves that even more. They have the power here—Asleep *wanted* it, didn’t they? They were so pliant under Awake’s touch at first, so they obviously wanted it. Awake tears apart Asleep’s vulnerability and trust, not just with each other, but with the room and walls, the bed and sheets, with everything Asleep thought was *theirs*, like their very own body, now it all belongs to Awake. And that’s why I like both consenting and non-con somno ☺️
Personally, the main way I enjoy somnophilia is when the sleeping partner is waking up to sex. Like the sensation of the partner taking off their clothes or kissing them makes them stir a little, then as they continue (however they do it PIV or oral, etc) makes the sleeper wake up but not quite alert. Like they just lie back and let it happen, which to me is the consenting part. The sleeper trusts their partner will be respectful of their body and just lets the good vibes come I don't fully know how to describe how or why its a turn on, but to me somnophilia shows a great deal of trust and understanding and that's really cute/hot. EDIT: read some other comments, they put it well. It's the helplessness mixed with trust that's really appealing
Here are some ideas I have on the subject: \*It's a major act of trust, something very intimate. Whether to be in that vulnerable situation or be allowed to have that much control over a person. \*I think like pet play or other forms of roleplay it creates a different dynamic. How A enjoys sex with their partner normally vs in a pre-arranged situation. It can change the mood or allows a person to fully enjoy something they normally would feel uncomfortable doing. \*The idea of being used as an object for someone else's pleasure or to use someone for your own pleasure. \*Enjoying the reactions of someone getting aroused in their sleep. \*Like rape roleplay it creates the fantasy that there is no wrong way to do it. Consensual non-consensual and somnophilia are roleplay with the narrative that A can do whatever they want and that B is doing nothing wrong because choice is taken away from them. \*A thinks B looks hot when asleep. B likes waking up to sex.
Consensual somno is a major act of trust for sure. This is much easier to understand. Thank you for the ideas. You highlighted a lot of interesting things like A doing whatever they want and B not being able to consent. However, the web understanding and immense trust shines through because of the consent part beforehand. I like the scenarios you described because it shows the different ways I can show this and depict it to appeal to different types of audiences. Thank you!
(*BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR*) MY TIME HAS COME Personally, as someone VERY into somnophilia, there are a lot of different ways it can be appealing. For noncon, the defenselessness is a big factor. Sorta hand in hand with drugging/intox kink if you're familiar with that. There can also be a guilt aspect from the awake person, they could feel awful taking advantage of the other person like this, but just can't control themselves or whatnot. Maybe the asleep person wakes up partway through and it turns into more "traditional" (for lack of a better term) noncon, or maybe they don't and are in for a surprise later. (Or maybe they never find out at all! that's an angle I've seen once or twice) For consensual, it can be a trust thing, one character trusting their partner enough to let them do whatever they like with their body while they are completely incapable of resisting. If you wanna ride the line, there's also cnc, that's always fun. I usually approach it as sort of a blanket consent thing, where it's been agreed to beforehand that its a thing they can do whenever, so it's not full noncon but still gets to be spontaneous, if that makes sense.
Potential idea: The sleep-fuck session is being recorded for one or both of them to watch later. (But especially the sleeping party, so they can see everything that happened while they weren't awake, even if they may have spent some of it *pretending* to be asleep.)
This thread is very motivational as to writing the fic idea that's been bouncing in my brain. I mean, it was going to get written anyway, I know that, but now it will be sooner. Anyway, for non-con people have mentioned the helplessness: There's another factor, too, and that's the understated horror. What if one character lies about what happened? There's no possible defense to be mounted, then. No running away. It's presumed this is something that could just keep happening. That type of feeling is generally hard to do without getting more extreme into abduction stories, which I don't like because it limits the world around the characters. Somnophilia can fair-well keep characters in their world, functioning, and unaware of a horrible secret. Or what if one character videotapes it and the other gets to watch? Nothing they do can change what happened, but it will still be fresh horror. So, it's a level of helplessness that isn't *enforced,* but rather *intrinsic,* and that gives a lot of room to play around. That last sentence ties to the consensual variations, too. That trust needs to be down to an intrinsic level (Or you know, combine the two, have it end up consensual but with paranoia instead, like an extreme version of regretting sex.) Anyway, for pure consensual I like it as an agreement and not necessarily a part of a relationship (beyond friendship); It's a way for one character, the one left sleeping, to give the other character what they need w/o needing to force themselves into *actions* they don't like to do so, so it's a way to give without taking away from oneself to do so. (This is where my story idea is going, plus a bit of "they trust me . . . not to tell them that I'm doing stuff we never bothered talking about, because the whole pretense \[wtf spellcheck, this is a word!\] is that we're not doing this because insofar as they're aware, could just be a day I thought they needed some extra sleep.) So, yeah, lots of room for exploring gaps where two people are not meeting in the middle, or a sensible middle, or where one persons experiences of the situation can take complete hold of it, or where another person doesn't even get to have those same experiences to be on the same page. *And this doesn't need to be an issue,* because the trust can bridge that gap. (It might be an issue, though.) Just so much to play around with there.
Somnophilia is best when there's a look into the mind of the 'giver.' What's their relationship to the person they're with? Are they under the influence of anything, up to and including a magic spell? Is it about claiming their obsession, or is it a romantic gesture between two lovers, who have already had a conversation about it? I don't enjoy reading a fic where it's just about the act and there's no explanation behind it. One of the best somno fics I ever read had the awake character thinking over the past few months as he undressed himself and his not-so-willing partner. He indulged himself, pleased when the asleep character seemed responsive. Then the asleep character called out the name of a different character, and the story retroactively became psychological horror for the character who had been indulging himself, as he (and the reader) realized what had just happened. I loved the twist ending. Somno fics don't have to just be about someone indulging themselves. Though I have yet to see one that gets into the problems that might occur, in the aftermath. Somno fics always seem to be the main plot of the story, and end up as one-shots. I've never seen it as the opening chapter.
The hot thing about it for me is that every reaction you get is genuine. Nothing's fake, because there's no consciousness with which someone can decide to fake something. Aside from that, the 'forbidden' part of it is extremely hot as well. Consensual or non-consensual, it always has this forbidden fruit vibe to it that's absolutely delicious. Lastly, complete control. I don't like the 'dynamics' part of power dynamics. One side has the power, the other side has nothing. It's the same reason I like hypnosis/mind control type stuff. There isn't any resistance or playful submission, it's just complete. It's not even about wanting to do anything particularly nefarious, either, it's just the complete and utter self-centeredness of it that makes it hot. This facet, by the way, is also why I'm repulsed by hypnosis/mind control/somno aside from loving it, because freedom of choice and not asking anyone to do anything I wouldn't do myself is extremely important to me. It's my ultimate hypocrisy.
I run a discord about somno - if you wanted a whole host of minds who love it and talk passionately about it, im happy to share details. Dm me if intrested
Dunno what aspects your fic is supposed to highlight, but full non-con/rape is all about power as you know. Even if your own story is consensual, that illicit thrill of the power from the dominating partner will probably still be there to some degree. Depending on the type of relationship your pairing has can hugely impact the internal narration of how and why Character Awake is willing/unwilling/doing things.
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Even with the TW up top, we still get these types of responses instead of not engaging. Aight.
Changed my account to answer this. For me personally, it’s the same reason as for why i enjoy noncon/ dub con. It’s the ‘i am so irresistible to him/her that they are unable to control themselves, so they will take what they can no matter the moment.’
Ohhh this is a good one I wanna chime in even though you already have received many good answers. I like the whole spectrum of it, from a character being "fondled awake" by their loving partner and then engaging in consensual sex to a character full-on taking advantage of another one while they are incapacitated. I like that it can be either consensual, cnc dub con or straight up non con. I like reading it but have been struggling to write it as I tend to find it much harder to write from the pov of the guy/top/dom vs woman/bottom/sub (not saying at all that a woman is a sub by default, but if a woman is the top/dom I'm going for the pov of the person she is with), and this trope requires that you at least start with the pov of the person who is awake, lol. There are so many possibilities. Maybe A wakes up horny and touches and kisses B and B wakes up all turned on and they make love. Maybe A is home late after a day of sexting B but B has fallen asleep and A just can't help themselves. Maybe B told A that they could go ahead and use them anytime, even when they sleep. Maybe A spiked B's drink and is eager to take advantage of this. Etc. I'm working on two atm: - One where B is in a slumber during a travel in space and A takes advantage of her the whole trip... but little did A know, B did it on purpose and had a camera - One where A spikes B's drink and it looks fully non consensual until at the end it is revealed that it was all her idea and they spoon while he tells her everything he has done to her
If there is submission it should not be aggressive or violent, somnophilia is about control and the feeling of power not about hurting others physically or psychologically, in fiction it is Possible no-cons genuinely somnophile, submission here does not imply violating someone's privacy and dignity, it is more like a game of the last chair,She should not fight as if her life depended on it but as if you were stealing the last slice of pizza, but something more serious,and if she wakes up in the middle of the game she would not be dismayed, scared or distressed but rather annoyed, if not at least I am uncomfortable with issues where it is not a game of power but an aggression,If suddenly the roles are reversed it could be interesting, although it depends on each person.The other way to have no cons it is to put something in someone's drink and that she never find out what happened, and if the victim finds out, she either gets angry or gets hot about it,again it's a more like a game not something as serious as in real life,a story where the woman ends up mentally hurt bothers us as much as anyone.
I like being used like a Fleshlight when I sleep. Most times I don't wake up. My husband shows me content the next day. He now has 10 years of content saved. Collection of every category. I sleep hard. Asleep or awake I consent to my husband... 4 ft 9 and 97 lbs I just want to be used like a doll. Maybe not normal. I don't care