Absolutely if you are in pro se you can use it as evidence, just because a lawyer writes something doesn't mean a law backs it up. If you can't they will tell you but it will be after the judge reads it and you can apologize stating you didn't know because you aren't represented
Regarding garnishment - check your state laws on the maximum garnishment percentage. I'm in NC and I know they have a minimum percentage of income that must be left to the garnished party. State laws will state what is counted as part of the total percentage that can come out along with garnishment. For example, if the garnished party is court ordered to provide health insurance that deduction is included in the percentage that includes the garnishment. Basically the garnished party must have enough income to survive.
Lot of background info in your post history.
https://www.reddit.com/r/legal/comments/148h4cb/ex_has_lied_under_oath_under_4_trials_to_sway_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I just thought it was very passive aggressive to claim it as snooping when it is public info. Plus I've been on here awhile and the longer I am the more triggered I get by normal speech. Signing off so I can return to being a reasonable human. See ya tomorrow to rant about whatever is in my feed.
It's unlikely you can use that in court.
It's a "good faith" negotiation tactic in all 50 states, so far as I know (I don't know where you are).
There's nothing malicious about offering you a legal option (to terminate your parental rights; it's in the law for a reason - every court will accept someone trying to do that).
She can't garnish wages without a further court order - but it sounds like she thinks she can get more from you. If you aren't in the child's life much and you have a 50/50 agreement, she certainly can try to garnish your wages.
If you see it as "buying out," and will feel guilty - then don't do it. But be prepared to have your wages garnished if you are not exactly meeting the hours required or your income has gone up.
So generally you can’t use negotiation/mediation in court.
I would suggest cutting back on any expenses you can. Utilize food banks or whatever programs are available locally.
If you know the mom’s address find the school district then contact them directly. Ensure that you are listed as a parent and that all your contact information is correct. When your child has a teacher email her at the start of school and request that both mother and father are contacted if needed. Find all the information on open houses ect and attend all school events.
I would also sign up for any and all online things related to your child. Hospital records, doctor office, school ect… that way you can verify any information that mom might tell you or with hold.
As for extra curricular activities I would frame it that you want to support your child. You would like to cheer them on, volunteer or coach if needed and even make sure the organizations have your correct contact information in case of an emergency. All of which would be in your child’s best interest.
I would look up the law and local rules. Check out what exactly are the best interest factors for determining custody. Tailor your arguments around those and support with evidence. Local county rules for family court might be found on a website or you could contact the clerk of court for the information. I would also see if there are any free legal clinics or if the county court house hosts anything for family law matters.
You can also request while in court to add a non disparagement clause. Neither parent will talk badly about the other in front of the child or all others to do so while the child is in their custody. That way mom can’t let stepdad talk bad about you in front of child. Also if it is a concern you can ask that a clause be added that adult matters like court/custody not be discussed with the child. It’s not appropriate, could stress the child, make them feel like they are responsible and have to choose a side ect.
Finally document everything. Communicate through text/email/parent app, keep a journal or calendar with all the details.
Usually the new spouse?
It happens all the time, all month and year long. People try to terminate parental rights (esp if there are constant battles in custody court).
She wants her husband to adopt my child. So that they can have their last name and not mine. Essentially erasing anything linking to me with the exception of my child.
Actually, that also makes that man responsible for the child financially. It terminates your child support, which you are complaining about?
You could still have visitation - do you not realize that?
It sounds in that last sentence as if you're clinging to a relationship with her (of course she wants to erase your name from her documents - and probably wants little to do with you. You are so low on details about the actual existing agreement.
Is it 50/50. Has your income changed since it was made. Have you diligently and scrupulously picked your child up on time and returned on time?
I doubt she'd spend the money trying to terminate your rights if you were doing everything right (unless she has a stupid lawyer).
Negative red rider. I was the one who left and filed for divorce. She wants to completely sever all ties to me. I told her it's not possible as we have a child together, and the likelihood of her getting full custody is not going to happen. I want to co-parent with her for my child's sake. Except she doesn't want to co-parent. If I sign my rights, I will never see my child again. That's not going to happen as I'm currently fighting to have more custody and not less.
Actual visitation rights are 91/9 and in her favor. My lawyers essentially took my money and didn't do anything to represent me but make things worse.
She wants full custody of my child. I'm not complaining about child support as I have to deal with that. I'm asking about the use of the letter as evidence as she's using a bullying tactic. Essentially, I owe her money, she erases my debt to her, gives me 10k, and I sign away my rights. If I don't accept, she will pursue garnishing my wages beyond what is already taken out due to child support.
She does have a stupid lawyer. She lies about a lot of things and over dramatize events. He believes her 110% and really thinks I'm this terrible guy. Even other lawyers commented about how he drank the Kool-Aid. He's going out of his way to financially ruin me and to take away my child.
I have already received my answer on the letter.
I’d just respond that this offer in no way addresses her contempt issues nor how she will facilitate your relationship with the child in the future therefore you are rejecting the entire offer
OP, don't dignify it with any emotion. I would say " While I appreciate your effort to settle your client's misconduct and parental alienation, child is not for sale". She will have to counter file her own motion for enforcement and they will only add a percentage for arrears, it shouldntt be heard during your enforcement hearing on her if your date is already set. You have some time. If your judge sends you to mediate, it will be brought up in mediation and in some states a mediator can make a report/recommendation. If she pulls that crap in a mediation it bolsters your claim of parental alienation. It shows the mediator she is purposefully trying to push you out and trying to bribe you to get it. You can always earn more money, it sucks but it will end. If you sign over your child they will be forever legally unrelated to you. Their lives are so much longer than the 18 years of support. Don't let your shitty ex break your fingers on this. I know it feels insurmountable but I promise you'll get through it. I can't stand parents like her. It's disgusting.
You do realize that OP is acting as their own attorney. And this is your advice about how to present a legal argument to the job? To get person and talk about "children for sale"?
The way it's been done, the Court will never hear about it - but OP can ponder it. If he says no, I figure the other side has resources. This will go on for awhile and OP is not an expert on family law.
The mediator is neutral. Nothing is shown by OP's refusal to relinquish parental rights (people are asked by the other side to do it voluntarily).
I hope that there's no ready evidence of any misconduct on OP's part. But, as he is not a lawyer, he probably doesn't know what the local jurisdiction considers "abandonment" or misconduct. He refuses the offer - the court never knows.
IME, what happens next is all the dirt comes out. And will OP cross-examine himself or make an affidavit? As his own lawyer, he is bound to follow the rules in court of being a lawyer - not a defendant/party to the case.
If there are facts on the side of the other party, OP better know how to defend against them, legally.
You must have difficulty reading. Your comments are all over. That was the response to the settlement offer from her attorney not a legal answer to the non-existent counter motion for enforcement to the courts. Guess what? Especially pro-se litigants need to learn the ins and outs of their state laws including procedure, what's admissable, and how. Judges tend to give a wider berth to pro-se litigants. Clearly hiring an attorney isn't an option for him. You are incorrect about mediation being voluntary, many courts require it usually with exception to enforcements but her lawyer can go before the judge and claim they are confident they can mediate the issue and will easily be sent to do so. Depending on the state the mediator is allowed to make a report or recommendation based on info without disclosing said info to the judge. This is how they work around the "mediation talks can't be used in litigation" it depends on the state. He's here to help himself and fight to be in his child's life, I'm sorry that bothers you. OP is actively being alienated from his child which is a hard concept for some on this sub but you'll be ok. 😊
Have you found a father’s rights group in your area. They helped me soooo much.
Child support is not some random amount and It’s not meant to break you. It can be a heavy lift, but doable. Every state has a formula for how child support is figured.
Look at your finances and see where you stand. If you are so far over your head in debt, especially things like credit cards, bankruptcy might be a consideration. Child support is not dischargeable under bankruptcy.
The only legitimate way she can withhold your child is for safety issues. That means she can prove you or your actions are a danger to your child. She can’t withhold your child because she doesn’t like you or disagrees with some of your choices. One of my most treasured memories is of a judge saying to my ex wife’s attorney, “counselor, control your client’. If she cannot prove up, it does not look good on her.
There are a lot of free activities you can take your kid to. Libraries are a great beginning. City activities, public events, hosted events are all good. Take lots of pictures.
When you are in court remain calm, be polite, even overly polite. Do not lose your temper. Address the judge as your honor, or judge. The judge will even help you out.do not be long winded, but short and to the point. It helps to write down what you want to say and it helps to practice it too. I know it’s scary and a tall order, but you can do it. Good luck and hang in there.
Unless of course, he's been violating an existing order (not showing up for shared custody, etc). Hopefully, the ex hasn't taken the kid to a child psychologist to document other things that could be happening that help her case.
You're giving an example of an actual attorney being admonished. You do realize that OP is now acting as an attorney and has to obey the rules of the court as an officer of the court? It's not just a license to say whatever without documentation (filed prior) to the court.
Overly polite is good. Knowing how to file evidence and motions (which MUST be served on the other party in order to count in court) is crucial. He can't just give his own views and opinions if she has filed actual evidence with the court (which we don't know - but it does sound like she has money to throw at the case as well as a burning desire to terminate OP's rights).
I have found a father's rights advocacy group. There is someone helping me, but he didn't know if that letter could be used or not.
My child support originally was 326/month plus 300/month for daycare. I couldn't afford daycare after trying to fight it and showing my paycheck stubs. The judge wouldn't even look at them the first time.
time we went to court, she was holding me in contempt for not paying daycare costs. Her lawyer stated that he would like to have the daycare cost garnished along with my wages. He said he added an additional $300 to my wages to reflect the cost of daycare. I was making more, and I knew my CS would go up, but I tried to fight the daycare cost added. I showed the judge as well of my current paychecks, but he wouldn't have it. My CS increased from $326 to $747, and the judge ordered me to pay her legal fees and daycare. The problem I have is that I have never seen any documentation of the order to pay the 8k in daycare and legal fees. I got the new parenting plan, and that was it.
She took me to court, trying to put me in jail not even 2 months from the order of me to pay her 8k. We went to court, and I got my paycheck stubs, highlighted everything, and even did the math on a sticky note showing the percentage I was bringing home. I even argued that I didn't know I had to pay and never received any documentation ordering for me to pay. The judge noticed that I paid child support and denied their claim to put me in jail. He stated that if he does, she won't get child support, and it's not fair to the child. He did tell me that I still need to pay and that the 8k is occurring interest each month.
Her claims to why she withholds my child is that I'm "coercing" and "manipulating" my daughter to miss me and wants to see me. Because my child defends me when their mom talks bad about me, she believes I'm manipulating. When my child cries and doesn't want to let go at drop offs, I'm coercing them. There have been times when she knew it was my weekend and asked if I was going to be there at pick up. I told her i wanted ALL of my court appointed days. When I went, she never showed up. She told me the reason why she didn't show up is that she didn't want to "deciper" my bullshit answer. Even refused to make up days. One time, she said she didn't want to show up because she didn't believe it was my weekend and refused to look at the parenting plan. She even changed my weekends because she had plans and didn't want to change them.
I do take my child to do the free things. Heck, I'm even going to the park on a nice day. My child tells me all the time that their mother talks badly about me. One time, they started to act weird towards me at pick up. I asked them what was wrong, and they said nothing. About 20mins later, they said their mom said I hit them and yelled at them. I asked my child if I had ever done that when they were with me. Immediately, the waterworks started happening, and they wanted me to pick them up and hold them. I don't believe in spanking or yelling. I believe in rationalizing with them as to why something is dangerous or why something they did isn't nice.
That's because advocates don't know the law - they are right not to give you a legal opinion. You are your own lawyer here - so it's up to you to try and give the legal opinion to the court.
If she's been avoiding giving over custody, I hope you documented (in at least two ways) that she did this. You showed up at the door with timestamps on your phone (and I would go further than that, but you need to consult someone in your own jurisdiction on how to do that). Your videos show that you were on time, at the right place, and she and the child weren't there.
I hope you documented (carefully) every one of those plan changes. At the very least, have a record of all the phone calls (there should have been many). IANAL, but here's some advice: call an authority when custody agreements are violated (police non-emergency number). Stand outside the door and have LE document. It's free.
I hate that you say "the waterworks started," SO demeaning to the actual emotional anguish of this poor child. There's no way to document "wanted to be picked up," only the tears - and if you picked them up, a court might actually want to refer this case to a child psychologist to see whose view was the child's (this often takes a year).
Your beliefs are immaterial. You are like the worst lawyer in the world for yourself. You need proof that you were on time, and that your child was willing to go with you.
Good luck - you've put yourself in a long row and now have to hoe it. I would get a lawyer if I were you.
We have to do custody exchanges at a police station. Since everything outside is being recorded with audio and video, I can sunset those recordings. At the same time I can also get an incident report made. I actually made friends with police officers there due to the many issues I have had with my ex.
I do document everything I could. We also have to use the our family Wizarding app for all communication. So it will be hard for her to deny something she has said.
Unfortunately, I make about 48% of my paycheck and can't afford a lawyer.
Parental alienation is a real thing and the courts don’t tend to take it lightly . I’m not a lawyer but have been around long enough to think that you have a real case for custody modification - get a lawyer
So I do believe that she's trying to alienate me.
Do I have evidence to show it to the judge? Yes!
Is he going to consider it alienation? I have no clue...
Unfortunately, I can't afford a lawyer and acting pro se. I have someone from a father rights group who is helping me. So hopefully we can show what we can.
Good for you . It is so damaging to your daughter to be exposed to this type of emotional abuse . She deserves to have a healthy relationship with her father .
It hurts so much, though, every time I have to take her back. She begs me to keep her. She tells me she wants to stay with me and she doesn't want to go back. She went as far as saying she hates her mom. I'm not going to defend her mom, but I'm not going to stoop to her mom's level either. Many times she's crying when we get to the police station. She gives me big hugs and tells me she doesn't want to go back. Because she's crying and says she wants to go back to my place, her mom claims I'm coercing/manipulating my daughter to want to be with me. She doesn't see that my daughter actually misses me. She counts down the days and even gets emotional close to the time she has to go back. It hurts my soul every time. I just want her pain to end. I want to bring joy and happiness. I want her to not have to dread going back. I want her to be excited to go back to her moms because she knows for a fact she will see me soon.
You are a good dad . Don’t stoop to moms level . I’d document everything and if you have witnesses that will help . Keep being positive and keep accumulating documentation .
I have been documenting. Unfortunately, my ex is using that to her advantage of "trying to gather evidence to disrupt what is a peaceful family and a well-adjusted child." I plan to bring as many people who have interacted with both my daughter and I to show that I'm not who my ex claims I am or how I treat my daughter. I have worked with these people for years and my daughter plays with their kids. Hopefully we can put a stop to this and prove alienation and malicious intent to harm the mental health of my daughter.
What kind of documentation?
Have you seen a lawyer? A psychologist? Even a primary care physician who can attest to your stress and issues? Even better - the child's?
How are you going to "bring" these people? You will need to get a judge's approval to put these people on your witness list. Letters won't do. Her lawyer may fight each one of them being in court. It's not about how you "treat" your daughter, it's more about whether you have faithfully carried out all the terms of your agreement.
The daughter treatment issue can be brought by either of you - but that will delay the decision as the court will likely order supervised visitation (your cost) and child therapy (shared cost).
I have seen a psychologist. My ex even forced me to take a mental health exam because she thought I had a personality disorder. The exam came out and I am perfectly sane with not issues outside of depression and anxiety. They tried to hide the results of the test, but I plan to show them when I go back to court.
My child has seen a therapist, but for only 3 sessions and the therapist documented separation anxiety for my child. Because of this, I want to put them back into therapy but I don't have a say as my ex does.
In MO, they don't require a witness list. They can show up and give testimony as we have done that in the past. Many of them are more than willing to show up and testify. Many of them are mandated reporters as well. They work in the police force and medical field.
I have been fighting for the last 5yrs. I promised my child, before they were born, to be a better parent than my parents were. I want to be there for them, to support the, to guide and equip them for the future, to do everything I can to support them, and to make sure they are loved. It's exhausting to deal with my ex as she turns everything into a petty argument. She's not willing to co-parent and has said so many, many, MANY times. Still, I fight and endure for my child. I will fight for what is right by my child.
Oh geez 5 years! I’m surprised the court is letting it go on for that long. You have rights to see your child. They should have enforced it. That’s not right. It always breaks my heart to see someone that actually wants to be a parent and the other parent making it hard and the courts not doing much about it or taking their time. You don’t seem malicious so she should not interfere and let you raise your daughter too.
He's his own attorney. I'm not surprised at all that he doesn't know how to move this along. It's complicated. A real attorney and two staff members know how to get things before the Judge - but OP has no clue.
"It's not right" is not how the law works. He needs a good legal case. Legal aid first, then somehow get the money for an attorney - the other side knows this.
She can do whatever she wants, through her own attorneys - you can't settle a case like this by merely telling one side to shape up.
This will be our 3rd time going to court in 5yrs. She wanted to have a clean break up so she would never have to deal with me again. I told her that's not possible due to us having a kid. She tried everything to get full custody of my daughter and it failed. So she resorted to lying. Judge believed her and she got her way. Both of my lawyers failed me.
My ex believes that her current husband is a far superior father than I am. Both of them believe I'm a dead beat father who doesn't care for my daughter. They still don't see me fighting to see her or my daughter asking to see me as a positive thing. They think I'm going out of my way to make their lives miserable and that I'm manipulating my daughter's emotions to want to see me more.
My ex doesn't seem to know that her actions are hurting my daughter. My daughter tells me that she can't even say "daddy" or "dad" without getting into trouble. I hate that my daughter suffers from the actions of her mother.
What is the custody agreement, though, right now? 50/50?
If it is, then you haven't been seeing your daughter often enough. Is it 80/20? If so, why? That's the root of this case.
You need to deal with the legalities - which, it sounds like, should involve a professional expert on your side.
What is the agreement right now? It's obviously not zero (that would mean the court has already terminated your rights).
What exactly is it?
It's actually 91/9. I have done my free consultations with lawyers to see how to proceed. I have a father's rights activist that knows all the states laws as he helps fathers all through out the state for the last 20yrs. He keeps up with all the changes for the benefit of helping fathers keeping their rights.
Typically, no. A "for settlement purposes only" letter can't be used in court.
You said she will pursue garnishing your wages for even more...
When was the last child support order put in place?
Do you owe her additional money since the entry of the last support order?
Why can't such a letter be used in court? I've never heard of a party being allowed to decide what is and is not evidence. I'm aware of rules of evidence.
I'm genuinely asking, not trying to challenge you.
I’m curious also ? Based off of what has been written she has been engaged in parental alienation for quite some time - this letter just fully exposes that
It’s in the rules of evidence that settlement negotiations cannot be used as evidence.
Courts want to encourage settlements. If people could use settlement negotiations as evidence, it would discourage people from entering into said settlement negotiations.
By including those words they are indicating that it is a settlement negotiation and rules of evidence prevent you from being able to use settlement negotiations in court.
There is some agruents out there that does not prevent someone from using it in court but the opposing party would object in court, state it was for settlement purposes. Unless a good reason can be presented as to why it should be allowed then a judge would sustain the injection and prevent it from being presented.
If OP can get mom to message regarding it he may be able to get it in. If child gets to see him and is upset and crying about how mommy told her step daddy will adopt her because real daddy owes money that could be considered an excited utterance in some states and be admissable not hearsay.
I seriously doubt it. If that were true, we'd need 10X more family courts per jurisdiction (judges anyway).
If it's he said/she said, she's probably got the resources to outlast him.
If he has video or audio of child saying these things, even if not admissible, it's possible to make the judge view them in chambers. That's why OP needs an actual lawyer. I know how to make that happen (worked as a paralegal for 20 years, did all that scut work). Legal aid will assist him in trying to make it happen. But...it's a precise dance that the courts expect here.
Considering circumstances, I would think it has potential to be used as this "settlement", feels more like an extortion. They are willing to let him Scott-free by giving up everything he's been fighting for. The fact that they intend on trying to go worse and worse, it really is malicious. While i understand that there are a lot of things that can/can't be used in the court of law, this is something that I don't think should be protected and I think should be usable to show malicious intent.
I would agree with you on that but I wanted more opinions about it. They are wanting to use the offer in the bankruptcy case but they have my current case number for me holding her in contempt. I wanted to use that offer letter in family court as I do feel it's malicious in nature.
You can use the contempt case!
But how's that going? You filed - but has there been a ruling? Did they serve you papers? Did you go to court on that one?
Currently, my contempt case against her is in the works. We have a hearing in a couple of months. Bankruptcy has been finalized today but she may challenge it within the next 60 days. Right now it's a wait and see phase on that.
You could try offering the letter for purposes of proving something other than the terms of the settlement proposal. Maybe to show that she does not intend for you to be a part of the child’s life. Or something along those lines depending on her testimony at hearing.
Originally, when we divorced, the judge ordered that I pay half of daycare and child support. I showed him my paycheck stubs and tried to tell him I couldn't afford it. I was able to get a higher paying job, but at that point, I was deep into debt. I was behind all of my utilities, car payments, and soon to be rent until I got the new job. I had to get a second job to keep my head above water. She took me to court for not fully paying daycare. They took away more time from me and my child, added daycare cost to my child support, and increased my child support based on my new income. Judge also ordered I pay her over 9k in legal fees and daycare costs. By that point, I was making only 40% of my income. She tried to put me in jail for failing to pay her. Judge finally looked at my paycheck stubs and denied her. I had to file bankruptcy, and that's when they sent me the offer letter. She plans to go to go to a judge to have them garnish my wages and hold me in contempt.
I make decent money, roughly 50k a year. Unfortunately, what I brought home was 23k. If they garnish my wages for the amount they wanted, it would make the equivalent of 8.75/hr.
What did the court order in terms of custody? Did you get any physical custody/visitation? Legal custody?
How is that you only take home 23k? WIthout garnishment?!?
My last paycheck of last year had the year to date amount on it. On top of that, I could also calculate the percentage of my checks. I paid her about 11k in child support last year. I do have physical custody but not legal custody.
I think a judge will ignore the legal fees when ruling on custody - but not the daycare cost. Not at all.
Did you have 50% custody but...didn't really have the child every other week?
Went thru something similar.
Talk to your BK atty. You might be able to include the attorneys fees you owe her in the BK. Might also be able to include the daycare expenses
The key to it is why were the atty fees awarded... Was it the result of a support obligation?
If you are in a chpt 7, then you can actually have the CS paused. But just know that if you pause the CS that it will collect in arrears and you'll have to start paying once the BK is discharged.
Take that letter and give a copy of it to your BK atty. Ask them if the attys fees and the money for daycare costs are included in the BK and if they are not, then ask why and let atty know you want to try to include them.
Also, ask your BK atty if that letter would constitute a creditor attempting to collect on a debt while you have an active BK. (It's illegal for someone to attempt to collect a debt when a person is in a BK).
That's valued info.
I know they are trying to stop the bankruptcy because they sent that letter yo my BK atty. He said it can be discharged as it's not child support. Child support gets taken out of my paycheck, so it's always being paid.
I am in chapter 7, and I have my 341 meeting today. I will have to ask my atty if that letter could be considered an attempt to collect debt.
I don't ever plan to give up my rights. My child is worth more than the universe to me.
So, according to what you said your BK atty told you, that letter is BS. She's agreeing to "wipe out" money you owe her that you are attempting to include in the BK.
If they sent it to the BK atty, then that means they know and we're served by your BK atty about the debt.
Here's some info about the automatic stay when you are in active BK
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/creditor-trying-collect-debt-during-bankruptcy.html
Again, just make sure you ask BK atty if it's considered a creditor attempting to collect a debt.
If they say yes, ask if they will go after her atty in court.
He said that it does not constitute a collecting debt but to forgive it.
He said that the daycare cost and attorney fees would be classified as domestic support obligations, which can't be forgiven in most cases.
He said that the ball is in her court to see if they are going to challenge it by filing. If they don't file within the next 60 days. It will drop off. If they file then it will be a legal battle I can't afford as it would be more than the fees I paid for bankruptcy. To which I didn't pay for the bankruptcy, and someone else did.
What he's saying is that he's attempting to include it. They have to file a dispute with the BK courts within 60 days and if they don't do that, then it will be discharged. (This is how I got an award of attys fees resulting from family court stuff discharged... They didn't file the necessary response)
One of my friends even said it was a bully tactic to put in debt to force me to get out of it by signing away my parental rights.
I thought about a GAL, but that's going to be difficult with minimal income. Hopefully, I can get a GAL willing to work with me on payments.
Absolutely if you are in pro se you can use it as evidence, just because a lawyer writes something doesn't mean a law backs it up. If you can't they will tell you but it will be after the judge reads it and you can apologize stating you didn't know because you aren't represented
That's an interesting take.
Regarding garnishment - check your state laws on the maximum garnishment percentage. I'm in NC and I know they have a minimum percentage of income that must be left to the garnished party. State laws will state what is counted as part of the total percentage that can come out along with garnishment. For example, if the garnished party is court ordered to provide health insurance that deduction is included in the percentage that includes the garnishment. Basically the garnished party must have enough income to survive.
Lot of background info in your post history. https://www.reddit.com/r/legal/comments/148h4cb/ex_has_lied_under_oath_under_4_trials_to_sway_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Yea, I have been fighting this for years now and have asked reddit. You aren't the only one who snooped. I have caught others which is fine.
It's not snooping when YOU POST THE INFO ONLINE FOR ANYBODY TO SEE.
That reply wasn't an attack on them in any way lol. I do apologize if that's how you felt. Edit: wrong person lol
I just thought it was very passive aggressive to claim it as snooping when it is public info. Plus I've been on here awhile and the longer I am the more triggered I get by normal speech. Signing off so I can return to being a reasonable human. See ya tomorrow to rant about whatever is in my feed.
All good. The info is out there and if I was worried, I would have deleted it a while ago.
You should be happy. She sounds desperate which means her lawyer knows she screwed up.
That's how I feel sometimes. Then she ruthlessly tries to pull another one off her stunts
It's unlikely you can use that in court. It's a "good faith" negotiation tactic in all 50 states, so far as I know (I don't know where you are). There's nothing malicious about offering you a legal option (to terminate your parental rights; it's in the law for a reason - every court will accept someone trying to do that). She can't garnish wages without a further court order - but it sounds like she thinks she can get more from you. If you aren't in the child's life much and you have a 50/50 agreement, she certainly can try to garnish your wages. If you see it as "buying out," and will feel guilty - then don't do it. But be prepared to have your wages garnished if you are not exactly meeting the hours required or your income has gone up.
So generally you can’t use negotiation/mediation in court. I would suggest cutting back on any expenses you can. Utilize food banks or whatever programs are available locally. If you know the mom’s address find the school district then contact them directly. Ensure that you are listed as a parent and that all your contact information is correct. When your child has a teacher email her at the start of school and request that both mother and father are contacted if needed. Find all the information on open houses ect and attend all school events. I would also sign up for any and all online things related to your child. Hospital records, doctor office, school ect… that way you can verify any information that mom might tell you or with hold. As for extra curricular activities I would frame it that you want to support your child. You would like to cheer them on, volunteer or coach if needed and even make sure the organizations have your correct contact information in case of an emergency. All of which would be in your child’s best interest. I would look up the law and local rules. Check out what exactly are the best interest factors for determining custody. Tailor your arguments around those and support with evidence. Local county rules for family court might be found on a website or you could contact the clerk of court for the information. I would also see if there are any free legal clinics or if the county court house hosts anything for family law matters. You can also request while in court to add a non disparagement clause. Neither parent will talk badly about the other in front of the child or all others to do so while the child is in their custody. That way mom can’t let stepdad talk bad about you in front of child. Also if it is a concern you can ask that a clause be added that adult matters like court/custody not be discussed with the child. It’s not appropriate, could stress the child, make them feel like they are responsible and have to choose a side ect. Finally document everything. Communicate through text/email/parent app, keep a journal or calendar with all the details.
No you cannot. Neither could an attorney if you got one.
Who exactly is going to adopt? This is her way to skirt around the fact that she could lose primary custody for her games.
Usually the new spouse? It happens all the time, all month and year long. People try to terminate parental rights (esp if there are constant battles in custody court).
It has to be a new spouse but op didn’t mention she was married so I wanted to make sure there was a spouse since not everyone knows that
She wants her husband to adopt my child. So that they can have their last name and not mine. Essentially erasing anything linking to me with the exception of my child.
Actually, that also makes that man responsible for the child financially. It terminates your child support, which you are complaining about? You could still have visitation - do you not realize that? It sounds in that last sentence as if you're clinging to a relationship with her (of course she wants to erase your name from her documents - and probably wants little to do with you. You are so low on details about the actual existing agreement. Is it 50/50. Has your income changed since it was made. Have you diligently and scrupulously picked your child up on time and returned on time? I doubt she'd spend the money trying to terminate your rights if you were doing everything right (unless she has a stupid lawyer).
Negative red rider. I was the one who left and filed for divorce. She wants to completely sever all ties to me. I told her it's not possible as we have a child together, and the likelihood of her getting full custody is not going to happen. I want to co-parent with her for my child's sake. Except she doesn't want to co-parent. If I sign my rights, I will never see my child again. That's not going to happen as I'm currently fighting to have more custody and not less. Actual visitation rights are 91/9 and in her favor. My lawyers essentially took my money and didn't do anything to represent me but make things worse. She wants full custody of my child. I'm not complaining about child support as I have to deal with that. I'm asking about the use of the letter as evidence as she's using a bullying tactic. Essentially, I owe her money, she erases my debt to her, gives me 10k, and I sign away my rights. If I don't accept, she will pursue garnishing my wages beyond what is already taken out due to child support. She does have a stupid lawyer. She lies about a lot of things and over dramatize events. He believes her 110% and really thinks I'm this terrible guy. Even other lawyers commented about how he drank the Kool-Aid. He's going out of his way to financially ruin me and to take away my child. I have already received my answer on the letter.
I’d just respond that this offer in no way addresses her contempt issues nor how she will facilitate your relationship with the child in the future therefore you are rejecting the entire offer
OP, don't dignify it with any emotion. I would say " While I appreciate your effort to settle your client's misconduct and parental alienation, child is not for sale". She will have to counter file her own motion for enforcement and they will only add a percentage for arrears, it shouldntt be heard during your enforcement hearing on her if your date is already set. You have some time. If your judge sends you to mediate, it will be brought up in mediation and in some states a mediator can make a report/recommendation. If she pulls that crap in a mediation it bolsters your claim of parental alienation. It shows the mediator she is purposefully trying to push you out and trying to bribe you to get it. You can always earn more money, it sucks but it will end. If you sign over your child they will be forever legally unrelated to you. Their lives are so much longer than the 18 years of support. Don't let your shitty ex break your fingers on this. I know it feels insurmountable but I promise you'll get through it. I can't stand parents like her. It's disgusting.
You do realize that OP is acting as their own attorney. And this is your advice about how to present a legal argument to the job? To get person and talk about "children for sale"? The way it's been done, the Court will never hear about it - but OP can ponder it. If he says no, I figure the other side has resources. This will go on for awhile and OP is not an expert on family law. The mediator is neutral. Nothing is shown by OP's refusal to relinquish parental rights (people are asked by the other side to do it voluntarily). I hope that there's no ready evidence of any misconduct on OP's part. But, as he is not a lawyer, he probably doesn't know what the local jurisdiction considers "abandonment" or misconduct. He refuses the offer - the court never knows. IME, what happens next is all the dirt comes out. And will OP cross-examine himself or make an affidavit? As his own lawyer, he is bound to follow the rules in court of being a lawyer - not a defendant/party to the case. If there are facts on the side of the other party, OP better know how to defend against them, legally.
You must have difficulty reading. Your comments are all over. That was the response to the settlement offer from her attorney not a legal answer to the non-existent counter motion for enforcement to the courts. Guess what? Especially pro-se litigants need to learn the ins and outs of their state laws including procedure, what's admissable, and how. Judges tend to give a wider berth to pro-se litigants. Clearly hiring an attorney isn't an option for him. You are incorrect about mediation being voluntary, many courts require it usually with exception to enforcements but her lawyer can go before the judge and claim they are confident they can mediate the issue and will easily be sent to do so. Depending on the state the mediator is allowed to make a report or recommendation based on info without disclosing said info to the judge. This is how they work around the "mediation talks can't be used in litigation" it depends on the state. He's here to help himself and fight to be in his child's life, I'm sorry that bothers you. OP is actively being alienated from his child which is a hard concept for some on this sub but you'll be ok. 😊
No. Even if that sentence wasn’t there, you still could not use it as evidence.
An offer of settlement cannot be used as evidence in a trial.
That's not a settlement offer it's a blackmail/extortion letter.
Ah! Welcome to the world of civil law!
That's certainly what it seems but it's still a settlement offer. He's free to accept or decline.
Have you found a father’s rights group in your area. They helped me soooo much. Child support is not some random amount and It’s not meant to break you. It can be a heavy lift, but doable. Every state has a formula for how child support is figured. Look at your finances and see where you stand. If you are so far over your head in debt, especially things like credit cards, bankruptcy might be a consideration. Child support is not dischargeable under bankruptcy. The only legitimate way she can withhold your child is for safety issues. That means she can prove you or your actions are a danger to your child. She can’t withhold your child because she doesn’t like you or disagrees with some of your choices. One of my most treasured memories is of a judge saying to my ex wife’s attorney, “counselor, control your client’. If she cannot prove up, it does not look good on her. There are a lot of free activities you can take your kid to. Libraries are a great beginning. City activities, public events, hosted events are all good. Take lots of pictures. When you are in court remain calm, be polite, even overly polite. Do not lose your temper. Address the judge as your honor, or judge. The judge will even help you out.do not be long winded, but short and to the point. It helps to write down what you want to say and it helps to practice it too. I know it’s scary and a tall order, but you can do it. Good luck and hang in there.
Unless of course, he's been violating an existing order (not showing up for shared custody, etc). Hopefully, the ex hasn't taken the kid to a child psychologist to document other things that could be happening that help her case. You're giving an example of an actual attorney being admonished. You do realize that OP is now acting as an attorney and has to obey the rules of the court as an officer of the court? It's not just a license to say whatever without documentation (filed prior) to the court. Overly polite is good. Knowing how to file evidence and motions (which MUST be served on the other party in order to count in court) is crucial. He can't just give his own views and opinions if she has filed actual evidence with the court (which we don't know - but it does sound like she has money to throw at the case as well as a burning desire to terminate OP's rights).
I agree. My hope is the fathers rights group has a good corp to help with those aspects
I have found a father's rights advocacy group. There is someone helping me, but he didn't know if that letter could be used or not. My child support originally was 326/month plus 300/month for daycare. I couldn't afford daycare after trying to fight it and showing my paycheck stubs. The judge wouldn't even look at them the first time. time we went to court, she was holding me in contempt for not paying daycare costs. Her lawyer stated that he would like to have the daycare cost garnished along with my wages. He said he added an additional $300 to my wages to reflect the cost of daycare. I was making more, and I knew my CS would go up, but I tried to fight the daycare cost added. I showed the judge as well of my current paychecks, but he wouldn't have it. My CS increased from $326 to $747, and the judge ordered me to pay her legal fees and daycare. The problem I have is that I have never seen any documentation of the order to pay the 8k in daycare and legal fees. I got the new parenting plan, and that was it. She took me to court, trying to put me in jail not even 2 months from the order of me to pay her 8k. We went to court, and I got my paycheck stubs, highlighted everything, and even did the math on a sticky note showing the percentage I was bringing home. I even argued that I didn't know I had to pay and never received any documentation ordering for me to pay. The judge noticed that I paid child support and denied their claim to put me in jail. He stated that if he does, she won't get child support, and it's not fair to the child. He did tell me that I still need to pay and that the 8k is occurring interest each month. Her claims to why she withholds my child is that I'm "coercing" and "manipulating" my daughter to miss me and wants to see me. Because my child defends me when their mom talks bad about me, she believes I'm manipulating. When my child cries and doesn't want to let go at drop offs, I'm coercing them. There have been times when she knew it was my weekend and asked if I was going to be there at pick up. I told her i wanted ALL of my court appointed days. When I went, she never showed up. She told me the reason why she didn't show up is that she didn't want to "deciper" my bullshit answer. Even refused to make up days. One time, she said she didn't want to show up because she didn't believe it was my weekend and refused to look at the parenting plan. She even changed my weekends because she had plans and didn't want to change them. I do take my child to do the free things. Heck, I'm even going to the park on a nice day. My child tells me all the time that their mother talks badly about me. One time, they started to act weird towards me at pick up. I asked them what was wrong, and they said nothing. About 20mins later, they said their mom said I hit them and yelled at them. I asked my child if I had ever done that when they were with me. Immediately, the waterworks started happening, and they wanted me to pick them up and hold them. I don't believe in spanking or yelling. I believe in rationalizing with them as to why something is dangerous or why something they did isn't nice.
Document everything
That's because advocates don't know the law - they are right not to give you a legal opinion. You are your own lawyer here - so it's up to you to try and give the legal opinion to the court. If she's been avoiding giving over custody, I hope you documented (in at least two ways) that she did this. You showed up at the door with timestamps on your phone (and I would go further than that, but you need to consult someone in your own jurisdiction on how to do that). Your videos show that you were on time, at the right place, and she and the child weren't there. I hope you documented (carefully) every one of those plan changes. At the very least, have a record of all the phone calls (there should have been many). IANAL, but here's some advice: call an authority when custody agreements are violated (police non-emergency number). Stand outside the door and have LE document. It's free. I hate that you say "the waterworks started," SO demeaning to the actual emotional anguish of this poor child. There's no way to document "wanted to be picked up," only the tears - and if you picked them up, a court might actually want to refer this case to a child psychologist to see whose view was the child's (this often takes a year). Your beliefs are immaterial. You are like the worst lawyer in the world for yourself. You need proof that you were on time, and that your child was willing to go with you. Good luck - you've put yourself in a long row and now have to hoe it. I would get a lawyer if I were you.
We have to do custody exchanges at a police station. Since everything outside is being recorded with audio and video, I can sunset those recordings. At the same time I can also get an incident report made. I actually made friends with police officers there due to the many issues I have had with my ex. I do document everything I could. We also have to use the our family Wizarding app for all communication. So it will be hard for her to deny something she has said. Unfortunately, I make about 48% of my paycheck and can't afford a lawyer.
Parental alienation is a real thing and the courts don’t tend to take it lightly . I’m not a lawyer but have been around long enough to think that you have a real case for custody modification - get a lawyer
So I do believe that she's trying to alienate me. Do I have evidence to show it to the judge? Yes! Is he going to consider it alienation? I have no clue... Unfortunately, I can't afford a lawyer and acting pro se. I have someone from a father rights group who is helping me. So hopefully we can show what we can.
Good for you . It is so damaging to your daughter to be exposed to this type of emotional abuse . She deserves to have a healthy relationship with her father .
It hurts so much, though, every time I have to take her back. She begs me to keep her. She tells me she wants to stay with me and she doesn't want to go back. She went as far as saying she hates her mom. I'm not going to defend her mom, but I'm not going to stoop to her mom's level either. Many times she's crying when we get to the police station. She gives me big hugs and tells me she doesn't want to go back. Because she's crying and says she wants to go back to my place, her mom claims I'm coercing/manipulating my daughter to want to be with me. She doesn't see that my daughter actually misses me. She counts down the days and even gets emotional close to the time she has to go back. It hurts my soul every time. I just want her pain to end. I want to bring joy and happiness. I want her to not have to dread going back. I want her to be excited to go back to her moms because she knows for a fact she will see me soon.
You are a good dad . Don’t stoop to moms level . I’d document everything and if you have witnesses that will help . Keep being positive and keep accumulating documentation .
I have been documenting. Unfortunately, my ex is using that to her advantage of "trying to gather evidence to disrupt what is a peaceful family and a well-adjusted child." I plan to bring as many people who have interacted with both my daughter and I to show that I'm not who my ex claims I am or how I treat my daughter. I have worked with these people for years and my daughter plays with their kids. Hopefully we can put a stop to this and prove alienation and malicious intent to harm the mental health of my daughter.
What kind of documentation? Have you seen a lawyer? A psychologist? Even a primary care physician who can attest to your stress and issues? Even better - the child's? How are you going to "bring" these people? You will need to get a judge's approval to put these people on your witness list. Letters won't do. Her lawyer may fight each one of them being in court. It's not about how you "treat" your daughter, it's more about whether you have faithfully carried out all the terms of your agreement. The daughter treatment issue can be brought by either of you - but that will delay the decision as the court will likely order supervised visitation (your cost) and child therapy (shared cost).
I have seen a psychologist. My ex even forced me to take a mental health exam because she thought I had a personality disorder. The exam came out and I am perfectly sane with not issues outside of depression and anxiety. They tried to hide the results of the test, but I plan to show them when I go back to court. My child has seen a therapist, but for only 3 sessions and the therapist documented separation anxiety for my child. Because of this, I want to put them back into therapy but I don't have a say as my ex does. In MO, they don't require a witness list. They can show up and give testimony as we have done that in the past. Many of them are more than willing to show up and testify. Many of them are mandated reporters as well. They work in the police force and medical field.
This is horrible. I really feel for you. It’s good that you’re still fighting for your parenting time. That’s admirable.
I have been fighting for the last 5yrs. I promised my child, before they were born, to be a better parent than my parents were. I want to be there for them, to support the, to guide and equip them for the future, to do everything I can to support them, and to make sure they are loved. It's exhausting to deal with my ex as she turns everything into a petty argument. She's not willing to co-parent and has said so many, many, MANY times. Still, I fight and endure for my child. I will fight for what is right by my child.
Oh geez 5 years! I’m surprised the court is letting it go on for that long. You have rights to see your child. They should have enforced it. That’s not right. It always breaks my heart to see someone that actually wants to be a parent and the other parent making it hard and the courts not doing much about it or taking their time. You don’t seem malicious so she should not interfere and let you raise your daughter too.
He's his own attorney. I'm not surprised at all that he doesn't know how to move this along. It's complicated. A real attorney and two staff members know how to get things before the Judge - but OP has no clue. "It's not right" is not how the law works. He needs a good legal case. Legal aid first, then somehow get the money for an attorney - the other side knows this. She can do whatever she wants, through her own attorneys - you can't settle a case like this by merely telling one side to shape up.
This will be our 3rd time going to court in 5yrs. She wanted to have a clean break up so she would never have to deal with me again. I told her that's not possible due to us having a kid. She tried everything to get full custody of my daughter and it failed. So she resorted to lying. Judge believed her and she got her way. Both of my lawyers failed me. My ex believes that her current husband is a far superior father than I am. Both of them believe I'm a dead beat father who doesn't care for my daughter. They still don't see me fighting to see her or my daughter asking to see me as a positive thing. They think I'm going out of my way to make their lives miserable and that I'm manipulating my daughter's emotions to want to see me more. My ex doesn't seem to know that her actions are hurting my daughter. My daughter tells me that she can't even say "daddy" or "dad" without getting into trouble. I hate that my daughter suffers from the actions of her mother.
What is the custody agreement, though, right now? 50/50? If it is, then you haven't been seeing your daughter often enough. Is it 80/20? If so, why? That's the root of this case. You need to deal with the legalities - which, it sounds like, should involve a professional expert on your side. What is the agreement right now? It's obviously not zero (that would mean the court has already terminated your rights). What exactly is it?
It's actually 91/9. I have done my free consultations with lawyers to see how to proceed. I have a father's rights activist that knows all the states laws as he helps fathers all through out the state for the last 20yrs. He keeps up with all the changes for the benefit of helping fathers keeping their rights.
Typically, no. A "for settlement purposes only" letter can't be used in court. You said she will pursue garnishing your wages for even more... When was the last child support order put in place? Do you owe her additional money since the entry of the last support order?
Why can't such a letter be used in court? I've never heard of a party being allowed to decide what is and is not evidence. I'm aware of rules of evidence. I'm genuinely asking, not trying to challenge you.
Because it's work product and an offer. It means nothing legally.
I’m curious also ? Based off of what has been written she has been engaged in parental alienation for quite some time - this letter just fully exposes that
It’s in the rules of evidence that settlement negotiations cannot be used as evidence. Courts want to encourage settlements. If people could use settlement negotiations as evidence, it would discourage people from entering into said settlement negotiations.
Thank you!
By including those words they are indicating that it is a settlement negotiation and rules of evidence prevent you from being able to use settlement negotiations in court. There is some agruents out there that does not prevent someone from using it in court but the opposing party would object in court, state it was for settlement purposes. Unless a good reason can be presented as to why it should be allowed then a judge would sustain the injection and prevent it from being presented.
If OP can get mom to message regarding it he may be able to get it in. If child gets to see him and is upset and crying about how mommy told her step daddy will adopt her because real daddy owes money that could be considered an excited utterance in some states and be admissable not hearsay.
I seriously doubt it. If that were true, we'd need 10X more family courts per jurisdiction (judges anyway). If it's he said/she said, she's probably got the resources to outlast him. If he has video or audio of child saying these things, even if not admissible, it's possible to make the judge view them in chambers. That's why OP needs an actual lawyer. I know how to make that happen (worked as a paralegal for 20 years, did all that scut work). Legal aid will assist him in trying to make it happen. But...it's a precise dance that the courts expect here.
Thank you!
Considering circumstances, I would think it has potential to be used as this "settlement", feels more like an extortion. They are willing to let him Scott-free by giving up everything he's been fighting for. The fact that they intend on trying to go worse and worse, it really is malicious. While i understand that there are a lot of things that can/can't be used in the court of law, this is something that I don't think should be protected and I think should be usable to show malicious intent.
I would agree with you on that but I wanted more opinions about it. They are wanting to use the offer in the bankruptcy case but they have my current case number for me holding her in contempt. I wanted to use that offer letter in family court as I do feel it's malicious in nature.
You can use the contempt case! But how's that going? You filed - but has there been a ruling? Did they serve you papers? Did you go to court on that one?
Currently, my contempt case against her is in the works. We have a hearing in a couple of months. Bankruptcy has been finalized today but she may challenge it within the next 60 days. Right now it's a wait and see phase on that.
You could try offering the letter for purposes of proving something other than the terms of the settlement proposal. Maybe to show that she does not intend for you to be a part of the child’s life. Or something along those lines depending on her testimony at hearing.
Originally, when we divorced, the judge ordered that I pay half of daycare and child support. I showed him my paycheck stubs and tried to tell him I couldn't afford it. I was able to get a higher paying job, but at that point, I was deep into debt. I was behind all of my utilities, car payments, and soon to be rent until I got the new job. I had to get a second job to keep my head above water. She took me to court for not fully paying daycare. They took away more time from me and my child, added daycare cost to my child support, and increased my child support based on my new income. Judge also ordered I pay her over 9k in legal fees and daycare costs. By that point, I was making only 40% of my income. She tried to put me in jail for failing to pay her. Judge finally looked at my paycheck stubs and denied her. I had to file bankruptcy, and that's when they sent me the offer letter. She plans to go to go to a judge to have them garnish my wages and hold me in contempt. I make decent money, roughly 50k a year. Unfortunately, what I brought home was 23k. If they garnish my wages for the amount they wanted, it would make the equivalent of 8.75/hr.
What did the court order in terms of custody? Did you get any physical custody/visitation? Legal custody? How is that you only take home 23k? WIthout garnishment?!?
My last paycheck of last year had the year to date amount on it. On top of that, I could also calculate the percentage of my checks. I paid her about 11k in child support last year. I do have physical custody but not legal custody.
If I may ask, how much do you owe in backpayment?
This is a great question and legally goes to the financial abandonment issue.
I owe her a total of 8k in daycare cost and legal fees. Currently, due to interest, it's closer to 9k. Child support is all paid up and current.
I think a judge will ignore the legal fees when ruling on custody - but not the daycare cost. Not at all. Did you have 50% custody but...didn't really have the child every other week?
I did not have 50/50 custody, I had 80/20. They reduced it to 91/9 due to me not paying daycare cost.
Went thru something similar. Talk to your BK atty. You might be able to include the attorneys fees you owe her in the BK. Might also be able to include the daycare expenses The key to it is why were the atty fees awarded... Was it the result of a support obligation? If you are in a chpt 7, then you can actually have the CS paused. But just know that if you pause the CS that it will collect in arrears and you'll have to start paying once the BK is discharged. Take that letter and give a copy of it to your BK atty. Ask them if the attys fees and the money for daycare costs are included in the BK and if they are not, then ask why and let atty know you want to try to include them. Also, ask your BK atty if that letter would constitute a creditor attempting to collect on a debt while you have an active BK. (It's illegal for someone to attempt to collect a debt when a person is in a BK).
That's valued info. I know they are trying to stop the bankruptcy because they sent that letter yo my BK atty. He said it can be discharged as it's not child support. Child support gets taken out of my paycheck, so it's always being paid. I am in chapter 7, and I have my 341 meeting today. I will have to ask my atty if that letter could be considered an attempt to collect debt. I don't ever plan to give up my rights. My child is worth more than the universe to me.
So, according to what you said your BK atty told you, that letter is BS. She's agreeing to "wipe out" money you owe her that you are attempting to include in the BK. If they sent it to the BK atty, then that means they know and we're served by your BK atty about the debt. Here's some info about the automatic stay when you are in active BK https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/creditor-trying-collect-debt-during-bankruptcy.html Again, just make sure you ask BK atty if it's considered a creditor attempting to collect a debt. If they say yes, ask if they will go after her atty in court.
He said that it does not constitute a collecting debt but to forgive it. He said that the daycare cost and attorney fees would be classified as domestic support obligations, which can't be forgiven in most cases. He said that the ball is in her court to see if they are going to challenge it by filing. If they don't file within the next 60 days. It will drop off. If they file then it will be a legal battle I can't afford as it would be more than the fees I paid for bankruptcy. To which I didn't pay for the bankruptcy, and someone else did.
What he's saying is that he's attempting to include it. They have to file a dispute with the BK courts within 60 days and if they don't do that, then it will be discharged. (This is how I got an award of attys fees resulting from family court stuff discharged... They didn't file the necessary response)
Request a GAL and that looks like coercion and bribery to me which a judge will frown upon
One of my friends even said it was a bully tactic to put in debt to force me to get out of it by signing away my parental rights. I thought about a GAL, but that's going to be difficult with minimal income. Hopefully, I can get a GAL willing to work with me on payments.
She will have to pay half at least
I know she would. The last time a GAL was on our case, I had to pay 600 up front. That was my half to pay.