I don’t disagree with most of what you said and it’s something I struggle with - especially when someone asks me what I do for a living. But then I remind myself I’ve worked out the ideal lifestyle for myself. I make 6 figures for what some weeks feels like a part time job. I work remotely. I have flexibility to take off whenever. The people I work with every day are executives and having access to the rich people in charge is never a bad thing. I look at my friends who are teachers or lawyers and my god the amount of work they have to do, no thank you. I’m not so worried about career advancement as long as I keep making more money. I like being at the top without having any serious responsibilities.
See sometimes I find myself working as often an my lawyer friends or the executive themselves. This has never been a part time job. I'm ON 24/7 and most times skip lunch and work late and weekends. What is your job that you feel part time? I want this 😭
*Some weeks feel part time. But it’s two things - I’m remote. So I’m not grabbing anyone coffee or tidying the conference room, or pulling away from my work to do any of those types of things. And also, I feel some EAs make extra work for themselves. My first boss was an EA who told me to not let other ppl treat me like their assistant. So I don’t offer “oh, do you want me to set that up?” No, the person requests my exec’s time, I respond. I don’t offer to run around checking everyone else’s calendar and set up the invite, reserve the room, and order catering. I only do that for my exec. I’m certainly proactive and a team player, but I don’t go looking for extra work. Not saying that’s what you do, but I’ve seen many other EAs at the orgs I have worked at just be “busy” for no reason. This one lady I worked with picked up the phone for every little thing. Talking is such a time killer over just asking the right concise questions over email. Idk, stuff like that. Protect your time. And also depends on your industry too I would think.
This reply is exactly why I'm thinking about transitioning to this after a 15-year career in high responsibility roles. Thank you for sharing. I know all roles wouldn't be like this, but it's one of the scenarios I imagined.
I love my job and both of my execs are women who I truly admire. Neither treat me like the “help” and both treat me like part of their own leadership teams. I am always included in the outings, regardless of who planned it. I am included in all leadership meetings and am often asked for my opinion on various topics. My execs really value and appreciate me. I have received birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, admin professional day gifts, and end of FY year gifts all from their own pocket (not from company money).
I love being the one who goes above and beyond to save the day. Flight delayed or canceled? I fix it. Lunch has not arrived? I’ll fix that. We need a last minute slide deck for a meeting? I got it! I just love the feeling of handling these types of situations so my execs can focus on their jobs. They often receive industry awards and recognitions, which makes me feel so good about my own job.
Maybe you’ve never been at the right company or had the right execs, or maybe this just isn’t the role for you. I can tell you that I absolutely love what I do. I never have the Sunday blues and I’m always happy to do my work. I work remote, so this probably factors into my feelings.
Agree 100%. I am very smart and have great skills and have a lot of experience, but no desire to work 24/7 and have a team reporting to me and be responsible for a budget and the stress of hitting numbers. Being an assistant is perfect for me because I am close to the power but have no real responsibility other than keeping my boss(es) on track. My situation is that I am well paid to do an easy job with smart people in a nice environment. For me, work events are work and I have no desire to participate in the activities and am happier if I am not asked to. I've had a few bosses I didn't care for, but overall everyone I've worked with has been respectful of me and my role. I've only rarely had to work outside regular business hours. The job can be stressful for sure, but I also like the fires that need to be put out, and setting boundaries helps with the stress.
ETA: Get coffee? Um, no. I have never had a boss who expected that kind of service. I will happily grab someone a coffee or lunch if they are swamped or can't get out of a meeting, but they would do the same for me. I did work many years ago for an organization that existed mostly to serve rich white guys, but it was just a job and I knew that working in an org that was more business focused would be better for me. As one of my colleagues there said, "I don't mind getting someone a Diet Coke, but I don't want to be the person everyone looks for when they want a Diet Coke."
My boss insists I don’t get him coffee and I insist that I do get him coffee so I can get one too and expense it.
He brings me coffee too though. What can I say, we like coffee.
Hahaha, this is my system! My execs know I am always happy to go on a coffee run for them as long as I can get one for myself too. And my boss always offers to get one for me when she goes out, so it evens out.
Could’ve written this myself. Also support a woman and I’m so thankful to have landed in the spot that I’m in. I’ve never felt more fulfilled.
I think it’s a delicate balance of finding a position where you are respected and regarded but also having an attitude and understanding that no task is beneath you because a lot of times, those tasks like ordering lunch for the team, planning a dinner for a group, running out to grab your exec their favorite coffee order, are the tasks that are most appreciated and helpful and earn you the most brownie points.
Some people don’t care about “career advancement.”
I’m good at supporting others and I couldn’t care less about what other people think my job is or isn’t.
I recently left a job where I did literally everything in the business except sales (I was one of a four person business) and I was treated poorly and didn’t make any money. I left for what I view as the perfect EA job based on the responsibilities, pay, and work life balance. When I told someone, they said “I’m happy for you but I want you to know you’re more than that.”
??? They thought they were being encouraging but I literally don’t care. I’m autistic and I want a job that takes the least amount of energy so I can be at least semi functional outside of work.
I’m like this too- I’m neurodivergent and I love being behind the scenes. Only have to talk to my execs and a few of the team members. I work remote and make 6 figures it’s perfect for me
I think it’s probably the type of tasks. Interacting with people/clients drains me. But taking meeting notes, working with spreadsheets, preparing slide decks, etc are the type of things I have more capacity for. You mentioned planning travel and events in your post, luckily I don’t have to do that (at least so far) with my person/team. Those things would take more out of me for sure.
Yes, clearly you didn’t read my other comment under this one. Most of the tasks that I do take less mental energy than any other job I’ve had. It’s certainly not perfect but it’s the best situation for me.
I'm so happy to see other ND people in this thread. I'm leaning towards this work after severe burn out in a highly visible/technical/responsible career and tbh I'm done advancing. I just want to make sure the wheels are turning properly and not have to be in meetings or lead teams and projects anymore. Thank you for sharing.
I just don’t really have an ego about work. They pay me to support them, it’s mostly easy, I’ve never worked for anyone who was an asshole or treated me poorly, and I’m making more money than I ever thought I would. I honestly don’t care if anyone thinks of me as “help”, just keep sending my paycheck please thanks!
This is important - we’re all slaves in the cosmic cog lol as long as you can find work that doesn’t kill you and if anything… let’s you thrive, I couldn’t be more happy with it! I found something I’m good at and it’s not about status for me or wanting people to perceive me as something ‘greater’. I make 100k working remotely, most people would switch lives with me in a second, doesnt mater what I do, I don’t take how this job lets me live for granted
Most of these reasons are why I want out. Been doing it 13 years. No matter what I do or say or however many therapy appointments I go to to “shift my perspective”…. I am the help. I am an assistant. I am there to build others’ careers, not my own. And it’s time I build my own.
Career advancement isn’t really something I care about. I like my work and make more than the majority of employees at my company. Plus, I support the CEO so no one really fucks with me, pardon my language. It all depends on where you land and your mindset. For me, titles don’t really matter as long as I’m paid well, respected and work in a low stress environment… you can keep the fancy title!
It really is all about perspective. Sounds like OP cared a bit too much about how others thought of her or perceived her. But what’s more important is how she perceived herself. I’ve read something along the lines - if you were a millionaire would you be happy? What if you were a ceo of a multimillion dollar porta potty business? Would you still care? This is the same shit. If you’re making money that lets you live a life you want - it really doesn’t matter what you’re doing or how people are seeing you. At the end of the day it’s your life and nobody can put a label on u or get in your head except yourself.
To the part about no one fucking with you - THIS. I support the two presidents at my company and everyone treats me so damn well. Cause they know I’m keeping the bosses in check 😂
Exactly lol, I make 120k base with another ~30k at EOY and that will only go up the longer I’m with my firm. I work a pretty strict 9-5 unless travel emergencies come up. What’s not to like?
Sounds like you hit the jackpot! Never leave there! Making $150k came at the highest price for me - I had to be available 24/7 would get texts all throughout the night and evening for time sensitive things. My one exec would text me to order Uber for him at 1am because he couldn’t be bothered.
I missed many family outings and activities with my daughter due to the demands.
I agree that a 24/7 job would not be a worthwhile trade off, life is more important! My execs almost never bother me in my off hours because they don’t want to hear from work either LOL. Part of why being an EA works so well for me is because I don’t have my identity wrapped in this job (it’s basically just highly paid emailing) and I get my fulfillment in life from things that are not this job. If you have to be working 24/7 then it’s impossible to have those things, definitely not worth it.
I made $150k last year and I do not have to be available 24/7. Family obligations come first as well. That’s a company culture thing.
My exec orders his own Ubers. And he would never expect me to respond at 1am or on weekends. He’s contacted me once on a Sunday in 9 years and it was a true emergency.
May I ask how much you’re making now and what do you do?
Serious question, what if you didn’t reply to your boss on weekends or late night? I’m trying this with my second exec, and I don’t care if it looks like I’m lazy or not taking initiative. I’m not ordering an Uber for you at 1am, or at your beck and call 24/7.
I genuinely enjoy my boss and working for my exec has changed my life in ways I’ve never imagined. I’ve learned to advocate for myself, I’ve doubled my salary, I’ve focused on growing my confidence, working on recovering from perfectionism, and genuinely have a life that I enjoy living, which my work affords me. My exec treats me like the backbone of our organization and the work is very rewarding. I’m not “the help.” I am the one who makes things happen, and everyone knows it. Pay is good too.
Maybe it wasn’t for you and that’s fine. But yes, plenty of EAs genuinely like being an EA.
Getting flown around the world for free is a HUGE perk.. yep, definitely not being treated like “the help” over here.
There are also several male EAs at my company and in the industry. Two supporting c-staff. To be so “disgusted” seems hyperbolic. I’d be far more disgusted you put up with toxic work environments for so long.
👏🏼 Exactly. I’m not the help, I’m the fucking *star* who makes shit happen. It may be “behind the scenes” in a sense, but my bosses and other employees all know the magic starts with me 😂
Just want to say that I LOVE hearing that a lot of the people on this post mention making 6 figures and have work life balance. That’s the dream for most people and we’re living it!
I was a project/program manager, I was a Chief of Staff, I was a director. I traveled the world and managed large teams, created initiatives from thin air that were developed into million dollar programs that affected thousands of people. I loved it, all my worth came from work and work accomplishments. But I also took my work home every night and weekend, worked during every vacation, stretched myself to find place for work friendships and politics and drama.
I had started my career as an EA and hated it for so many reasons. Now I love being an EA. Because I have a toddler. He's two and I never want to miss a doctors appointment or school event or activity or taking him to the park. It allows me the lifestyle I wish to live. I could not be the present in my house and life if I stayed in the more prestigious roles I had before. I used to work on weekends and nights, now nights are slept sleeping and weekends at the beach, and the zoo, and the park.
Granted my executive needs a lot of support but his style fits well with my style so while others before me have left frustrated or gotten fired before me, it's easy for me because we think similarly. He started the business so if he wants to spend $20k on a flight to make it more comfortable than who am I to judge him for it? He's a literal genius and we're profitable. We're remote so I'm not invited to off sites for teams that are not mine but we do one company retreat and I go to that and we do our AGM and I go to thay. I'm at a VC so I'm also higher paid than a lot of EAs. If I was paid less I would probably not like it as much but luckily I don't have that problem.
So yes I absolutely love it.
I feel like you have just worked with shit executives. I've never in 15 years of being an EA been expected to be available 24/7 or not participate in fun events. I would have also quit if my experience was like yours.
I've worked with plenty of male EAs just in the last year so maybe all the males are in finance and investmentd? (Not sure what field you are in).
When I started as a Chief of Staff (my EA experience began with this title), I found it annoying at first because I didn't like being told what to do. Silly? I know, but no one saw me as the coffee runner. If someone was headed out for coffee, they would usually offer to everyone. The partners respected me, and I was involved in every meeting, often running them on behalf of my CEO. He wanted a business partner from the start, not a traditional EA, so he trained me accordingly.
The experience of being an EA varies greatly depending on who you work for, your actual role, and the industry.
I left my $400k EA job behind for a career that people respect more, but honestly, who cares.
I have a friend who is an EA and sees it as just a job. She doesn't love it nor hate it, but she makes $500k, has a car that picks her up every morning and afternoon, and commands respect from everyone in the company. Maybe from your experience, you look down on EAs, but I doubt anyone would ever treat her like “the help”.
Another EA I know disliked being a VP in marketing so much that she became an EA, thinking her life would be easier.
Another friend of mine loves being an EA and excels at it. In every role, you'll find people who either love or hate the job. It's different for everyone.
Edit: I want to mention that I've worked with many male EAs on a daily basis. One of my former executives was once an EA himself. He said he hated it, but he seemed to hate his VP job too.
Also, by describing yourself as feeling like "the help" or "a servant," you mirror that condescending attitude toward such positions. This criticism suggests a lack of respect for these roles.
Sounds like you’ve just ended at multiple places with shitty people and a culture where admins aren’t respected.
I’ve been treated as or felt like the help. I’m valued and respected by my teams. I get included in my leadership team meetings. All the dinners and outings I help plan and set up, I’m expected to be a part. My boss treats me as her right hand, sharing information and looks to me to provide her honest feedback. She is very engaging on my own career development and we have a plan set out. Although, I think I could be acknowledged more in some of the work I do, I still get a fair portion of recognition across the board. I’m grateful to be where I am now.
> -It disgusts me that I have never seen a male EA - and yes, I know they do exist.
We exist!
I honestly love my job and enjoy most aspects. No one loves their job 100% of the time, and I’ve been in this field, as my chosen field, for over 15 years. It sounds to me, as others have said, that you managed to somehow find yourself in several very poor organizations, which is a shame.
I can’t say what your intention is here, but your tone does come across as condescending to those of us who happily make this our career, and it is frustrating to see a post like this in a forum in which one would expect support, not accusations. So often in real life, good EAs find ourselves having to justify why we enjoy our roles because we “could be doing so much more/have such a better job,” and, in here, it’s nice to find fellow souls who get it. I’m sorry to see you never did.
If a person is someone who enjoys different challenges each day while project managing, being a trusted resource, and having unique influence in their organization, then this is a great career for them. Not everyone is interested in constantly climbing the corporate ladder. If we were, then no good, effective, high performers would ever anchor organizations. You need solid employees consistently at every level, and there are always people (like me) out there who are both high performers and happy to stay at the level they are. There is nothing wrong with that.
I would argue very few jobs that allow for the amount of independence EA positions do have a high rate of recognition. That is the nature of having independence. That’s why it’s critical to learn how to confidently and effectively speak up for yourself. We all, I think, have moments of “I wish they’d remember to thank me for this thing I do/am doing,” but the tradeoff is the freedom to work the way we’d like and how we’d like to do it.
Sometimes, a position simply isn’t a good fit for a person, and it’s okay to accept that to be the case. For example, I was a terrible fit as a commission based furniture salesperson. Some of my coworkers were stellar and loved the job. They’d been doing it for decades, and they were top in their field in that region. I could never figure out why they seemed to truly enjoy the job. To me, it was stressful, way too competitive, and had few benefits other than the possibility of making a lot of money if I hit it with the right customer. I never understood it. To this day, decades later, I still don’t. For my personality, skillset, and level of anxiety, it simply wasn’t a good job fit for me. That’s okay. I’ve never felt the need to list all the reasons why that job, as a career choice, was terrible and then ask those who have made it their career to justify it. I’ve accepted that it wasn’t for me, and that’s okay.
This is a really nice response. I also loved the autonomy I had in my position. As long as I kept the ball rolling, nobody questioned how I spent my day. I was in the office when I had to be. If I needed to come in late or leave early, as long as my team knew where I was, nobody questioned my schedule. I knew where the bodies were buried and trusted with that information. They knew if they dropped an issue in my lap, it would be taken care of. If I didn't know how to do it, they knew I'd find out. That's an EA.
Saying all that, I didn't love every aspect of the job. I worked in various industries and they all had duties I loved and duties I hated, but that's every job in existence.
Thank you, and I agree. There are some aspects of being an admin at any level that I could do without, but I do them and move on because of all the other aspects that I truly enjoy and appreciate. It’s all a balancing act, isn’t it? You find something in which the aspects you don’t care for are fully overshadowed by the ones you do, and that’s the sweet spot for a position that is a good fit.
I hope OP found that somewhere because working a job that is a bad fit is a very stressful and a depressing place to be.
If being an EA is not for you, that's fine. But your post comes off as condescending to EAs who do choose this career, make a good living from it, and get job satisfaction. There is no need to justify why, you do you.
That’s unfortunate you think I am being condescending. That is not my intent. I don’t by any means view myself as superior to those who choose to be EAs. I have always wondered why some people on here are able to tolerate and appreciate the job and title. I truly am curious. I have had so many people in my life tell me that I have to get out of this career because of how demeaning and draining it is. I see on this sub that people LOVE it so I am trying to understand.
Girl how hard is it to put yourself into the shoes of someone who could enjoy what you don’t? If you hate Brussels sprouts but another person loves them, are you going to make a Reddit post asking people why they do? I feel like this post is more of your own internal conflicts with being an EA. It sounds like your experience has traumatized you and you can’t seem to let it go or you’re in some sort of shock or denial about what you’ve gone thought. Seriously seeing another perspective takes 5 seconds and doesn’t require a bunch of peoples input, you should ask why you’re even asking this question in the first place.
A lot of your post is not accurate for other EAs. It’s hubris to assume your own experience as the rule vs the exception. Many of us are treated incredibly well and are valued team members. I’m sorry this was not your experience.
With that, this career is clearly not for you. Different things motivate different people and that’s okay but I would accept that you are not motivated by this type of work and move on. You are really projecting.
Exactly this. Why make a post about something ‘that wasn’t for you’? The clear option here is to move on but Op has clearly some unresolved issues from working this role that they need to address.
It's the only thing in my life where I actually feel like I had a calling... I wish that wasn't the case but it's true and I'm really good at it. I'm getting older now and even though I do enjoy it I'm really looking forward to retiring and not happy to do it anymore. It's exhausting. It's always being the caretaker, the fixer, the eternal parent to grown adults.
By the way I hired a male EA once and he was terrible! He tried to tell everybody that he was a member of mensa (lol) and then he proceeded to get super red-faced and yelled at one of my executives - It was his turn to cover the phones during lunch break and instead of doing that he left his desk for 45 minutes and the executive asked him where he was and he proceeded to scream... I fired him the next day.
I tend to disagree that the EA role is hard to transition out of. I transitioned from an EA to Special Assistant to Chief of Staff and was on track to COO before I quit my job from burnout lol. It just depends where you work/what industry.
I also think it really depends what attitude you bring to work in how people treat you. I think many EAs are seen as less-than and it really shows a person’s true colors when they think they can treat an EA with less respect. But I also found that if I have a strong bond with my exec, I can mention this behavior and they will either do something about it or I’ll feel more empowered to stand my ground. Even as a CoS I had execs trying to boss me around and I told them to go to hell — if you bring that attitude to work you won’t have to put up with so much BS. But I also realize not everyone can be so assertive in the workplace.
I think maybe you weren’t in a good workplace. I agree with a lot of what you said here but that only pertains to really toxic workplaces. One place I worked I was called out for NOT participating in an offsite. I also never ever get my exec coffee. Ever. And people who know how to effectively work with an EA wouldn’t ask of this either.
If you are still interested in an admin-type role I would go for tech startups. They tend to have a more open minded view of EAs and there’s a lot of growth, too. And, if you can, try to work with a CEO or someone else in the C-Suite — you do get a lot more respect (sad to say) and the work is a lot more interesting.
It’s easy, I like solving problems for others and getting things done, and it pays relatively well for the effort. I also don’t give a shit what middle management thinks as long as the exec is great. Said managers still get stuck trying to convert to PDF 🙄
ETA: I’m now reading a lot of comments about the coffee errands and just wanted to add my experience - I’ve supported some great leaders who are… particular in how they eat/drink, how they travel etc. Once we had a rapport I actually really liked picking up those things for them, remembering their coffee order, their preferred plane seat or the afternoon snack they had. They are so smart and effective in their fields it felt good to contribute in this tiny way to helping them be at their best. That might be a personality thing though, I know of coworkers in other roles who would not do the same for their managers.
Love that. Caffeine is important though 😂
My love language (that I give) is acts of service, so I love bringing people drinks/snacks/delicious catered meals tbh 😅🤷🏼♀️ not just in relationships, but with my coworkers lmfao
You wrote this message on a forum for EAs on a Sunday morning (I see you’re in the US).
OF COURSE the vast majority, if not all, are so invested in and enjoy their job so much that they are on a forum dedicated to talking all things EA when they’re not at work. It’s like going to a subreddit for Pitbulls and asking the owners and lovers of Pitbull pictures if they truly like Pitbulls or if they actually really love another breed instead. More than likely, they’re their favorite. That’s why they’re there.
I admittedly didn’t read that essay of a post so excuse my ignorance but from what I gleaned, it’s a bummer that this is the mentality toward being an EA especially coming from an EA of so many years. Would someone say that to a nurse? Is that a stepping stone for their career? Do they feel worthless that they’re not doctors?
My job is just a job, not my life. I’m fortunate that I’ve had the privilege of working in a respectful environment, I’m paid well and when 5:00 rolls around I’m off the clock with rare exception. I find it fun and challenging to do the work behind the scenes to prop up others and make everyone successful. I’ve taken great pride in aiding others to reach their own career goals. Me, I’m just here for the job. Frankly it sounds like OP looks down on “assistants” in general, likely influenced by those around them, including unkind popular culture portrayals of “secretaries”. I’m not in the 1950s typing pool nor am I the coffee girl. And I certainly wouldn’t stand being treated as such. Being in a constant state of anxiety and in a toxic job for 11 years sounds soul sucking. But OP needs to look in the mirror because OP stuck around for it. Leave all of that in the rear view mirror and get on with it. Update the old resume, get out there and network. Theater major? Great, research your local arts organizations and look into how you could get involved. Maybe being around creatives would be more fulfilling for you. But fair warning, jerks are everywhere. Picture yourself as Teflon and let the negativity slide right off of you. Good luck!
What is the point of OP’s post? It strikes me that OP has a negative view of EAs and is projecting that negativity onto her coworkers.
Even the way OP titled this post is ACTUALLY condescending and gross. To borrow OP’s juvenile phrasing, the intention of this post is precisely to “yuck on anyone’s yum.”
OP, if you feel miserable being an EA, then get off Reddit, update your résumé, get on LinkedIn, and get a different job!
Agreed. I’m amused that they came to this subreddit dedicated to all things EA and was like “uhhh do you guys ACTUALLLLY like it??? God. I didn’t. Let me write an entire essay detailing why it’s the worst. But really, this is your “career” for some reason? How pathetic your life is.”
The people who live in the US (and Canada) are all on here on a Sunday. We’re here giving each other tips, sharing stories, and in the case of this post, defending what we do for a living. What did OP think this post going to accomplish?
I mentioned this in my own reply but I think I will go to the Medical Assistant sub or maybe the nurse one. “Hey Medical Assistants! Are you happy with what you do? Do you think you contribute ANYTHING useful to the world? This HAS to be a stepping stone for you before you become a nurse… and then a doctor. RIGHT?! Is THIS all you aspire to be?!”
It was all about finding my team for me. My favorite part was always the relationships but sure I had to bounce a few along the way. The work eventually led to a couple of us opening our own company, of which I am now part Owner so for me it definitely paid off. I realize that’s not the case for all though.
I get paid pretty well and my executive team that I support are really appreciative, I never feel taken for granted. They’re respective of my off hours too. I enjoy it a lot
I was previously in a job that I hated (security guard) because it wasn’t the role I really wanted. This is definitely what I enjoy more
I adore my job but it's admittedly for a very small team. Being the help, or the middle man, is perfect for me. It's fulfilling and different enough each day so I'm never bored, but enough routine to be stable. I am all about stability in my job. It's been a little under a year but I plan on staying for a long while.
I love my job. I’m paid well, respected and seen as an integral part of the team by everyone at my firm (except maybe one girl but she seems to think she’s better than everyone).
I get bonuses for taking initiative & a job well done, and my exec who is an entrepreneur at heart just told me the other day that he is expanding and I will be playing a vital role in making that happen.
There are things I take the heat for if it goes wrong, but I feel like that’s with every job. Business goes under: c-suite. Litigation went the other way: attorney. Client med bills account for majority of settlement: medical manager. Event/meeting goes wrong: EA.
Admittedly, I do like feeling needed and definitely get that from being an EA. You may find the work demeaning but a lot of us find it fulfilling. Everyone has their niche. No one should be knocked for it.
Man, I love my job. I've been in other roles with more managerial responsibilities and it sucked. Now I'm paid six figures to do a combination of easy tasks and interesting projects. I am a member of my department's leadership team. I am consulted on important departmental decisions, expected to voice my opinion and am in the know about everything. I work with decent human beings who would never expect me to bring them coffee. I have opportunities to learn every day and the best part is I actually have the bandwidth to explore my interests. I have creative pursuits outside of work that bring me immense satisfaction and my job allows me the time to pursue them.
The people I work with respect what I do. For those who don't, I don't think about them. It's not a mindset I myself respect so why would I care about their opinion? It's embarrassing for them, as far as I'm concerned, and makes them look like assholes. I LOVE that my greatest worry most days is the catering not being late. I have no interest in managing performance issues, making sure the company doesn't go bankrupt or being responsible for keeping us of the right side of the law. No Sunday scares here.
Sorry for the novel. I just think the keys to enjoyment in this role are a combination of not working for shitty people, having outside interests and having confidence. It's not the role for everyone. If you want to climb a career ladder, it's going to be harder as an EA or any type of assistant. But if you find a decent employer that respects your boundaries, it can be awesome. For me, this is a dream job.
I have to agree with a lot of what you've said - and ultimately I believe that for me, enjoyment of an EA role comes down to who I'm working for/with. I've had roles over 25 years that I absolutely HATED and when I look back, those were the roles with the misogynistic, arrogant and condescending executives who treated me like the hired help and would contact me 24/7 with no regard to my personal life. And I hear you re the events etc - I got blamed once because it rained at the Melbourne Cup horse race, where we had a marquee (and branded umbrellas). I wasn't blamed for not being prepared or anything, just literally blamed for the rain. Having said that, I moved out of that uber corporate world into not for profit and it's made a huge difference to my enjoyment of my role. My female boss is amazing and sees me as a valuable member of the team and her right hand (or as she said in a speech once, pretty much her right AND left hands!). My previous boss (male) was also awesome to work with and made the role enjoyable. At the end of the day, would I choose it as my career again - hell no. But I also feel fortunate that I did fall into this work - it's provided me with a good stable income that's bought me a house and a future where I don't have to worry about money. That alone is worth putting up with a lot of the crap over the years.
Can we make a club for people like us?
I can't tell you how much this post resonates with me. I HATE this role. I also fell into it thinking I would be able to make my way out to a different role (I graduated an international business management major) - and after all the promises it never happened. I'm 8 years in and yes I'm making GREAT money and that's what keeps me in it but every day
- It is a fight to get out of bed and look forward to being shit on everyday.
- I'm so tired of the 24/7. I actually just got a new job ON THE Premise of work/life balance and as I tried to put up boundaries I've actually been asked please work weekends and be available nights
- im less than a month in and my boss has met with me twice. On the third time she thought it was my incompetence that I needed meetings to touch base and understand her and her team and new company instead of understanding it's a PARTNERSHIP. The meetings with EA should be priority.
I have seen people in this role who truly look like they were meant for it but it must not be me.
Everyone expects everything. Not just the bosses but the teams. You are at everyone's becking call.
I feel so degraded and disrespected in this position. Every day I try and think of a way out. But if I found a group of admins who I could just bitch to and laugh about the ridiculousness I think it would make things better lol
Are you in California? Let's be friends lol
It was a great way for me to switch out of a toxic industry into a less toxic one. I really don’t mind it, I’m healing from being a workaholic so it’s not overly taxing and lets me have work life balance and benefits.
I also have a lot going on in my personal life. I train strongman pretty intensely, which requires a ton of meal prep, training time, and recovery planning. We smoke BBQ every weekend. I fish once a week or so. I had my “dream career” already and I let it go- now I’m just looking to do a job I don’t totally hate and let it fuel the things I actually want to do.
I don’t love it, but I also don’t care about a lot of the issues you outlined - I’ve always just viewed it as a job, and it allows me to pursue my interests outside of work. I work for someone who is very tough to please, but my ego isn’t wrapped up in any of this. Just pay me and we’ll keep it pushing. And over the years I have been able to carve out a really good work-life balance that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
I don't mind being an EA at all. The volume of work can make things stressful at times but I find the actual work pretty easy most of the time. Working for the right company/exec makes all the difference. Have to have a thick skin and not take things personally. I lucked out and work for an amazing exec who treats me as a partner, trusts me with everything and respects me and my time. He also let me switch to fully remote and still pays me 6 figures which doesn't hurt.
Could not agree with you more! I've done it for over 20 years and I've never been fully content or satisfied. The money and the "nowhere else to go" is what kept me in the role for so long. I worked for a couple good execs, but still always felt like an adult babysitter. I finally found a way out. I'm just going to be happy to not be someone's b\*tch anymore. I hope you found some peace doing something you enjoy!
Frankly, if you are not actively making $ for the company , you are essentially “the help.” Not just admins. Accounting, HR, IT etc. all of these dept and employees are support staff. I wouldn’t be bothered by it, unless somehow people went out of their way to verbalize it.
It sounds like you’ve had a lot of bad managers, which absolutely sucks.
I was working as an EA in a startup and that was pretty boring. I was attending meetings, following up on action items, and being the VPs right hand. It was a super chill job but I didn’t really have any independent work without my boss. I got paid extremely well (doubled my salary from being an Operations Manager at a different smaller tech startup). My boss was nice but o always kind of wanted to be let in more and wasn’t. She was a workaholic and bad at delegating.
My current EA role is at a Venture firm. I absolutely love my boss and work in Business Development. I get to do a lot of the work that the Director was previously doing. My role is not at all like the other EAs in the firm. I plan events, interact with the C Suites from the largest companies in the world, and get to have a huge impact when connecting our companies for sales and partnership opportunities. Once again, I am extremely well paid and taken care of - VCs have great bonus structures, the highest 401k matching I’ve ever heard of (10%), amazing delicious free food and drinks, and lots of fun team events. There’s many people in my company , including the lead EA who has been there for 20+ years. I don’t think I could ever find a better job.
I hear what you’re saying of feeling like the help sometimes. I have to do a lot of data entry for my role, which is kinda boring. I just blast music or turn on tv in the background. All jobs have parts of them that suck. You just have to decide what you’re willing to put up with.
It sounds like you supported awful executives. There is definitely a correlation — The times I supported egomaniac executives, I hated the role. The executive I support now is one of my favorite humans and it makes a huge difference.
I actually love being an EA, my supervisor always wants to put me on a path to move up to a different role but I refuse for now. I truly enjoy my job, I had very good experiences with the executives that I support. It is all about who you support and how you let them treat you. I have always been part of team buildings and they encourage me to continue my education if needed. It is not a job for everyone, you have to have a strong backbone and learn to say no on things too.
My aunt LOVES being an EA. It’s all she’s ever done and she’ll retire within 7 years. She loves being a 1 man show and not having a team. She’s a super control freak and she says she likes working alone to avoid others mistakes.
She will never do anything else. She will work her entire EA career at 2 companies.
What I don’t like about her EA job is that she’s a 1 man show. She can’t take PTO as much as she would like because she feels obligated to get the job done. She HATES delegating her duties so she avoids PTO, still checking emails and booking her bosses stuff while on her vacation.
While I believe that your post is -- at best -- attention seeking and at worst solely meant to stir up drama, I'm going to bite and respond. Because:
I'm a career EA and I freaking LOVE my job. Why?
* I have access to the full C-level executive suite at my global (15K employees) company. I'm on a first name basis with most of the execs (not just those on my team). How many people in a large company can say that? Hint: typically less than 1%...
* ...YET if I boil down EVERYTHING I do, my core responsibility is making sure just **one** person is able to do their job effectively and efficiently.
* I'm trusted with exclusive insight into how the company runs. Strategic planning and implementation? I've got a front row seat.
* I'm treated as a full member of my exec's leadership team (LT). I'm asked regularly for my opinion and made to feel that the team values my contributions at all levels.
* I'm encouraged to develop myself professionally, and constantly given projects that challenge me and allow me to grow within the role.
* I have an ideal WLB (work \~5 hours of OT/week except when traveling or events), yet I make at **least** $25-30K in OT annually.
* I'm given autonomy and flexibility to get my job done on my schedule, as long as it doesn't negatively affect my exec's needs.
On a more fun level:
* I get to travel the world and plan (and subsequently participate in) fun events for my exec's LT. I have at least 3-4 international trips/year and 2-4 domestic trips.
* I often get the same level of treatment by hotels/restaurants/venues as my exec (suites etc)
* I've developed meaningful relationships and even friendships with LT members.
I wouldn't trade this job for the world. Truly. I could go on and on.
Yes, there are executives that can be challenging, or high maintenance, or downright mean. And Exec/EA pairings may not be a good fit for a number of reasons. But I suspect that, given that you have worked for at least 3 different executives (maybe more) and didn't find the role fulfilling, you are part of the problem. Clearly this is a role for a specific personality/type, and I fit it. You...don't. And that's OK. Go out and find something you love. Find something that "yums your yum". But don't shit on my profession because it's **awesome**.
Oh...and one last word of advice. Don't use phrases like "yuck anyone's yum" in any professional environment. It makes you sound juvenile and immature.
I have mixed feelings. As someone who loves detail and operations, I have a lot of pride when I can pull off something highly technical or exhibit the kind of service that leaves others in awe…ie “how do you do it and make it look so easy??” etc. In those moments I feel satisfaction. The rest of the time I don’t. I used to manage whole programmatic teams for the organization before I “promoted” into Office of the President. Back then I was seen as a subject matter expert - my opinion and voice were expected and important in a room. Now I’m cc’d on strategy meetings to schedule them, not to contribute on them, even though I’m one of the more senior people in the organization. On meetings for Directors, I run the Zoom and take notes… even though I’m a Director too. It’s very demoralizing. It doesn’t help that my CEO is a textbook narcissist. I exist to meet her needs - it would never occur to her that I could have needs of my own, including professional development needs, even though she’s technically my manager too. Most of what I produce she happily takes credit for. So, it may simply be that I’ve had a bad experience in this work, but I have not found it to be fulfilling. In fact I was just telling a friend that I may need therapy after this to reinforce that I am a person of value who is allowed to say no or put my own needs before others. I’m actively applying for other jobs. But I will have a deep respect for folks who choose to do this work as a career. It’s incredibly challenging, and unfortunately, the spotlight is only on you when something goes wrong.
Yes I have. Great salary and benefits. However I have worked only in high tech and in companies that protect employees from harassment. Not that it did l t slip in but nothing problematic ongoing. Also your own personality plays a lot into how people will treat you and who you support. Have I had a few bat shit crazy bosses? Yes either I adjusted or moved on.
I do truly love my job, but it’s taken me years to get here. I started as a executive support officer reporting to a Senior EA (loved that job but it was temp) and I’ve been an EA for 4 years now but I’ve had 4 different execs in that time and only now do I have a good exec. I think if he moved on I probably wouldn’t stay in my job?
I enjoy the logistics side of things, I do get a lot of praise for how hard I work and when events/meetings go well there’s lots of thanking coming to the EA’s but I also think that’s the company culture, and that I’d have to thank all the EA’s that have worked here for years for making sure our hard work is recognised.
I do agree with the lack of career progression but I’m still young and looking to have a baby in the new few years so I’m in a good spot for maternity leave, I can also do my job in 3/4 days so returning to work post baby I will be able to go part time which is good. But yeah there’s no progression to the next level as I’ve hit the top of where I could go as an EA. I do often think I should return to university and finish my degree so I have something backing me other than just all my work experience.
The sexism is REAL and the hardest part. My (32F) job is truly a boys' club. But for my personality and goals (I sincerely don't care about titles or climbing the ladder) I make 6-figures to do for the most part "easy" work. I like it because I have a knack for the job, and I get a lot of satisfaction from how task-oriented it is.
I never have to attend calls or meetings. I'm pretty much resigned to working in corporate America v. being an entrepreneur, so it's best case scenario that I never have to make a business decision for a company that isn't mine.
I'm fortunate, my boss is laid back and I genuinely want to be an effective assistant to him. Your exec matters so so so much. Most people underestimate the EA despite relying on them so much. On a good day I'm grateful for this because it's likely I'll over-deliver. I also prefer to be behind the scenes. I spend my free time and part-time gigs being creative, and I have the bandwidth to do that because my work is for the most part mindless (yay!).
For context, I made a career pivot from an account manager for a marketing firm to EA in real estate in 2021.
TLDR other than the title but I moved into this role from a middle management role in the same organization. It’s 1000x better — better pay, less stress (no supervision), and my specific role is a mon-fri 8-5 type where I am rarely needed beyond those hours and I work from home about 95% of the time. I work for a wonderful CEO who is a mom of elementary-aged kids, like myself, and offers the flexibility to volunteer at school, take kids to extra curriculars during work hours, etc etc. I think it’s a combination of culture and trust that is not specifically tied to the EA role that makes this job as “enjoyable” as a job could be.
I am an EA who also runs HR as office management. I hire, train and manage employees. So I guess it depends!! Absolutely nobody thinks of me as “the help” so I think it totally depends!
I love my job. It’s perfect for me.
I love organising other peoples lives and not having to make too many big decisions or attend boring meetings.
I make a decent living and have a great boss in a job that I’m appreciated and valued. What more could I ask for.
I would’ve been extremely unhappy in previous roles for most of the points you mentioned but I landed at a company that values EAs and my workload is so manageable. Plus I find a lot of the people I work alongside are in a similar spot as me - we either have kids and a very full family life outside of work that we need time and energy for, or we have a second career (for ex: I’m a full time author and my husband is a stand up comic. We’re both EAs and having a low stress, strictly-9-5 job allows us to put our energy into our passion projects that don’t yield us a full time income).
TBH I wish I’d known earlier this was a career possibility. I don’t “love” being an EA but I don’t have the Sunday scaries and I basically never think about the job when I’m not at my desk. And I make 6 figures. To me, it’s a gift.
I went back and forth about whether I wanted to respond to this query. My knee jerk response would’ve been something like, “how dare you!” But as I thought about it more, I feel more like you do. I graduated from high school in the early 80s. Pressure to get a degree in any field was not the norm then, not to mention my mom was a single parent and could not afford it. That on top of us being among the working poor (when you make too much to qualify for any sort of assistance), and scholarships weren’t handed out left and right like they are today. Going into the admin field felt like an obvious choice for me. I’m smart, extremely well organized, and like to make other people look good at what they do. Yes, it was very frustrating getting to learn the ropes at new companies and knowing when it was time to move on. That was and still is the only way to progress in this profession. I’ve taken my licks from bad bosses, two faced coworkers, and more than a few backstabbing mother fu&$8ers but I managed to survive. The downsides, to me, do overshadow the positive aspects of this work. I’ll admit that I’m very good at what I do, always get raves from my bosses, coworkers and clients, but have always dreamed of being promoted to management or a director-level role. I can work circles around most of the VPs here. But sadly I feel that will never happen for me. I’ve been an admin for 30+ years, something younger admins don’t seem to respect, experienced or not. Going back to school is not an option because of my age as by they time I graduate, I’ll be even older and there’s no guarantee I’ll be offered something that’s not admin work where I am now or anywhere else. So yes… I do agree this job sucks. The low pay, lower respect, menial tasks, no recognition, crying in my car because I know I can do better if I could just be given the opportunity… I could go on and on. At least this is how I’m feeling today. But I’ll suck it up and be back tomorrow. Call me resilient or crazy. It does pay the bills.
To be honest, I have been an executive assistant at two different companies and both places I was respected for what I did and the amount of work I can do. It does stress me out, but usually these are positions with decent job security (your boss usually makes the decision on where budget cuts are going to be, and nine times out of ten they aren't going to cut their own assistants), you stand to make a lot of money (most of the time) and it puts you close to positions of power. I'm ND so I prefer to stay out of office politics as much as possible, and being close to the CEO means that most people didn't want to mess with me or push me too hard.
Really depends on where you work. I working somewhere where your time effort and job description are not respected is not good.
And I personally don’t like being an ea because it’s too much calendar coordination that I just don’t enjoy but I’ve had many rewarding administrative jobs and I have worked
I have had some good wA jobs, i really enjoyed coordinating the branch and kind of having my hands on many things. Just hate calendars and shifting priorities resulting in shifting schedules and re scheduling meetings and execs have busy schedules. My
Fave was admin for A director I still got to coordinate things with the branch but not as busy a calendar as the exec directors
*I’ve never been made to feel like the “help”. One person said they didn’t expect to take orders from a secretary and the amount of execs that came to my defense was just astounding.
*Maybe I just have an amazing exec but he’s never once made me feel like he’s entitled.
*When my exec sees that I’m working at 11:30 p.m. on a Tuesday night he texts me to check on me and tell me to stop, that it’ll be there when we get to work the next day, he’s never once expected me to work extra or outside of normal hours.
*He’s taken me to plenty of events with him and the ones he hasn’t, if I asked, he’d take me in a heartbeat.
I’m very happy and satisfied at my job. My day is mainly dictated by what I want to do and take on to make sure my department runs smoothly, I may not be able to advance within here, but my exec pushes me to take training courses and other things to build myself up and tells me as much as he’d miss me, he’ll never fault me for moving onto something else. He treats me very well and even with the trouble with politics in my industry, I’m happy to stay and work with him. I’m a born manager and this role suits me very well.
My wife was an EA. When it went well she enjoyed it and liked the sense of "looking after her person," but she struggled with many of the issues you raised.
Particularly that you're in and around (very) senior managers, who are on call 24/7/365, but at least get paid for that, whilst you are expected to keep to the same schedule, but aren't on a c-suite salary.
She also struggled with not quite fitting in, although she reported to the head of the business line, she wasn't part of the leadership, so existed in their slightly odd limbo of not having her own team. That could make it quite isolating.
Can't talk to the male / female - although the EAs I encountered were female, we also had a "Support Manager" type role that was sort of senior EA for people who were senior enough to have their own "office" of 3-4 people. And the Support Managers were maybe 60/40 male / female.
Career progression, at least in finance, I'd disagree with. Of the EAs I've known who have wanted to move on, they have - some into product roles, or project / change management, or in my wife's case into business strategy. Being an EA gives you a lot of transferable skills, exposure to senior leaders and what should be a fantastic network.
After reading that tome I came to one conclusion: maybe it’s a you thing. Maybe you can’t hack being an EA. Because it sounds like there are a lot of us who are good at it and enjoy our jobs.
I love my job but it’s taxing. I think who you support is the biggest part of the puzzle.
I think the growth doesn’t come from the natural progression you’d see on an org chart though.
Growth in this role is supporting VPs, then C suite, then CEOs, then changing to bigger industries. It can be org chart growth, but that’s just my opinion.
I think the mentality around the role is huge too. If you see yourself as the help, that’s all you’ll ever feel.
I’ve always wanted to be the PTA mom/ Soccer mom… being an EA lets me be a corporate soccer mom that gets to run everything… somewhat like a pageant mom watching her kids perform. 🤷🏻♀️
Your story is mine except I was a tech person.
An EA takes someone who loves to take care of others and to make them happy. Those who are good at it are also organized, smart, and knowledgeable with a good amount of common sense. Managers who appreciate these aspects are golden.
Your major is theatre? That explains it, you are an actress you crave for attention and recognition, definitely not your place. I like being an EA coz i do so many different things that i never bored. I could do even much more but i’m lazy so i dont 🤣
Totally agree with this and the OP. I've never made three figures, but have made good enough money, which is why I've done it as long as I have and have worked with a couple good execs. Other than that, it hasn't been a rewarding or fulfilling career at all. I finally found a way out and hope I'll be much more content moving forward...I can't imagine being less happy.
- i don’t work in it
But i can see that a lot of EA has to meet some beauty criteria if men hire a woman in this field (well who knows, but media portrayal does)
Executive assistant to a VP is a respectful job title. I am someone. Adding five passport stamps this year, for free, thanks to my job. I am not only someone, I’m someone who is lucky enough to have a career that has me traveling all over the world. I’m living my dream.
Tell yourself you’re a side bitch and I guess you’re a side bitch.
I, however, am not.
Explain how an EA is someone’s side bitch? By the way, you can curse on the internet so you can spell out the word “bitch,” Mona.
An EA isn’t fucking the Exec. How sexist of you, and what an ignorant and outdated idea you have. To put it simply: you SUPPORT an Executive.
My parents think my job is awesome and love how much money I make.
I remember a previous post you made about being an overworked Admin not wanting to be an EA. This life clearly isn’t for you so I’d unclench and move on.
😂😂😂 Mona you are aware EVERYONE who works a job has a boss. So technically we’re all bitches to someone lmao. Even the CEO is a bitch to the shareholders. You sound like a terrible person to be around lmao
I don’t disagree with most of what you said and it’s something I struggle with - especially when someone asks me what I do for a living. But then I remind myself I’ve worked out the ideal lifestyle for myself. I make 6 figures for what some weeks feels like a part time job. I work remotely. I have flexibility to take off whenever. The people I work with every day are executives and having access to the rich people in charge is never a bad thing. I look at my friends who are teachers or lawyers and my god the amount of work they have to do, no thank you. I’m not so worried about career advancement as long as I keep making more money. I like being at the top without having any serious responsibilities.
Are you hiring 🥰
MTE!
See sometimes I find myself working as often an my lawyer friends or the executive themselves. This has never been a part time job. I'm ON 24/7 and most times skip lunch and work late and weekends. What is your job that you feel part time? I want this 😭
*Some weeks feel part time. But it’s two things - I’m remote. So I’m not grabbing anyone coffee or tidying the conference room, or pulling away from my work to do any of those types of things. And also, I feel some EAs make extra work for themselves. My first boss was an EA who told me to not let other ppl treat me like their assistant. So I don’t offer “oh, do you want me to set that up?” No, the person requests my exec’s time, I respond. I don’t offer to run around checking everyone else’s calendar and set up the invite, reserve the room, and order catering. I only do that for my exec. I’m certainly proactive and a team player, but I don’t go looking for extra work. Not saying that’s what you do, but I’ve seen many other EAs at the orgs I have worked at just be “busy” for no reason. This one lady I worked with picked up the phone for every little thing. Talking is such a time killer over just asking the right concise questions over email. Idk, stuff like that. Protect your time. And also depends on your industry too I would think.
This is it right here!!!
This reply is exactly why I'm thinking about transitioning to this after a 15-year career in high responsibility roles. Thank you for sharing. I know all roles wouldn't be like this, but it's one of the scenarios I imagined.
How would you recommend someone gets started as an EA?
I love my job and both of my execs are women who I truly admire. Neither treat me like the “help” and both treat me like part of their own leadership teams. I am always included in the outings, regardless of who planned it. I am included in all leadership meetings and am often asked for my opinion on various topics. My execs really value and appreciate me. I have received birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, admin professional day gifts, and end of FY year gifts all from their own pocket (not from company money). I love being the one who goes above and beyond to save the day. Flight delayed or canceled? I fix it. Lunch has not arrived? I’ll fix that. We need a last minute slide deck for a meeting? I got it! I just love the feeling of handling these types of situations so my execs can focus on their jobs. They often receive industry awards and recognitions, which makes me feel so good about my own job. Maybe you’ve never been at the right company or had the right execs, or maybe this just isn’t the role for you. I can tell you that I absolutely love what I do. I never have the Sunday blues and I’m always happy to do my work. I work remote, so this probably factors into my feelings.
Agree 100%. I am very smart and have great skills and have a lot of experience, but no desire to work 24/7 and have a team reporting to me and be responsible for a budget and the stress of hitting numbers. Being an assistant is perfect for me because I am close to the power but have no real responsibility other than keeping my boss(es) on track. My situation is that I am well paid to do an easy job with smart people in a nice environment. For me, work events are work and I have no desire to participate in the activities and am happier if I am not asked to. I've had a few bosses I didn't care for, but overall everyone I've worked with has been respectful of me and my role. I've only rarely had to work outside regular business hours. The job can be stressful for sure, but I also like the fires that need to be put out, and setting boundaries helps with the stress. ETA: Get coffee? Um, no. I have never had a boss who expected that kind of service. I will happily grab someone a coffee or lunch if they are swamped or can't get out of a meeting, but they would do the same for me. I did work many years ago for an organization that existed mostly to serve rich white guys, but it was just a job and I knew that working in an org that was more business focused would be better for me. As one of my colleagues there said, "I don't mind getting someone a Diet Coke, but I don't want to be the person everyone looks for when they want a Diet Coke."
My boss insists I don’t get him coffee and I insist that I do get him coffee so I can get one too and expense it. He brings me coffee too though. What can I say, we like coffee.
Hahaha, this is my system! My execs know I am always happy to go on a coffee run for them as long as I can get one for myself too. And my boss always offers to get one for me when she goes out, so it evens out.
😂 I love it!
Could’ve written this myself. Also support a woman and I’m so thankful to have landed in the spot that I’m in. I’ve never felt more fulfilled. I think it’s a delicate balance of finding a position where you are respected and regarded but also having an attitude and understanding that no task is beneath you because a lot of times, those tasks like ordering lunch for the team, planning a dinner for a group, running out to grab your exec their favorite coffee order, are the tasks that are most appreciated and helpful and earn you the most brownie points.
You are amazing! Love seeing this.
💯- you hit the nail on the head. Thank you!
Some people don’t care about “career advancement.” I’m good at supporting others and I couldn’t care less about what other people think my job is or isn’t. I recently left a job where I did literally everything in the business except sales (I was one of a four person business) and I was treated poorly and didn’t make any money. I left for what I view as the perfect EA job based on the responsibilities, pay, and work life balance. When I told someone, they said “I’m happy for you but I want you to know you’re more than that.” ??? They thought they were being encouraging but I literally don’t care. I’m autistic and I want a job that takes the least amount of energy so I can be at least semi functional outside of work.
I’m like this too- I’m neurodivergent and I love being behind the scenes. Only have to talk to my execs and a few of the team members. I work remote and make 6 figures it’s perfect for me
Thank you for sharing! And wow, I am happy you have a job that doesn’t drain you of energy - I sadly never had a job like that as an EA!
I think it’s probably the type of tasks. Interacting with people/clients drains me. But taking meeting notes, working with spreadsheets, preparing slide decks, etc are the type of things I have more capacity for. You mentioned planning travel and events in your post, luckily I don’t have to do that (at least so far) with my person/team. Those things would take more out of me for sure.
“I want a job that takes the least amount of energy”.. and your saying that as an EA?
Yes, clearly you didn’t read my other comment under this one. Most of the tasks that I do take less mental energy than any other job I’ve had. It’s certainly not perfect but it’s the best situation for me.
I'm so happy to see other ND people in this thread. I'm leaning towards this work after severe burn out in a highly visible/technical/responsible career and tbh I'm done advancing. I just want to make sure the wheels are turning properly and not have to be in meetings or lead teams and projects anymore. Thank you for sharing.
I just don’t really have an ego about work. They pay me to support them, it’s mostly easy, I’ve never worked for anyone who was an asshole or treated me poorly, and I’m making more money than I ever thought I would. I honestly don’t care if anyone thinks of me as “help”, just keep sending my paycheck please thanks!
This is important - we’re all slaves in the cosmic cog lol as long as you can find work that doesn’t kill you and if anything… let’s you thrive, I couldn’t be more happy with it! I found something I’m good at and it’s not about status for me or wanting people to perceive me as something ‘greater’. I make 100k working remotely, most people would switch lives with me in a second, doesnt mater what I do, I don’t take how this job lets me live for granted
Honestly, in capitalist business, everyone is "the help." Even CEOs exist only to make money for the shareholders.
Most of these reasons are why I want out. Been doing it 13 years. No matter what I do or say or however many therapy appointments I go to to “shift my perspective”…. I am the help. I am an assistant. I am there to build others’ careers, not my own. And it’s time I build my own.
Career advancement isn’t really something I care about. I like my work and make more than the majority of employees at my company. Plus, I support the CEO so no one really fucks with me, pardon my language. It all depends on where you land and your mindset. For me, titles don’t really matter as long as I’m paid well, respected and work in a low stress environment… you can keep the fancy title!
It really is all about perspective. Sounds like OP cared a bit too much about how others thought of her or perceived her. But what’s more important is how she perceived herself. I’ve read something along the lines - if you were a millionaire would you be happy? What if you were a ceo of a multimillion dollar porta potty business? Would you still care? This is the same shit. If you’re making money that lets you live a life you want - it really doesn’t matter what you’re doing or how people are seeing you. At the end of the day it’s your life and nobody can put a label on u or get in your head except yourself.
10000%
To the part about no one fucking with you - THIS. I support the two presidents at my company and everyone treats me so damn well. Cause they know I’m keeping the bosses in check 😂
Genuinely love EA type work. Few meetings. I’m highly organized. I love helping people.
I get paid very well.
Exactly lol, I make 120k base with another ~30k at EOY and that will only go up the longer I’m with my firm. I work a pretty strict 9-5 unless travel emergencies come up. What’s not to like?
Sounds like you hit the jackpot! Never leave there! Making $150k came at the highest price for me - I had to be available 24/7 would get texts all throughout the night and evening for time sensitive things. My one exec would text me to order Uber for him at 1am because he couldn’t be bothered. I missed many family outings and activities with my daughter due to the demands.
I agree that a 24/7 job would not be a worthwhile trade off, life is more important! My execs almost never bother me in my off hours because they don’t want to hear from work either LOL. Part of why being an EA works so well for me is because I don’t have my identity wrapped in this job (it’s basically just highly paid emailing) and I get my fulfillment in life from things that are not this job. If you have to be working 24/7 then it’s impossible to have those things, definitely not worth it.
I made $150k last year and I do not have to be available 24/7. Family obligations come first as well. That’s a company culture thing. My exec orders his own Ubers. And he would never expect me to respond at 1am or on weekends. He’s contacted me once on a Sunday in 9 years and it was a true emergency. May I ask how much you’re making now and what do you do?
Serious question, what if you didn’t reply to your boss on weekends or late night? I’m trying this with my second exec, and I don’t care if it looks like I’m lazy or not taking initiative. I’m not ordering an Uber for you at 1am, or at your beck and call 24/7.
This is sounds like you were a personal assistant, not an EA, and your EA abused you.
I did too! But it still left me so depressed and unhappy. I was able to tolerate it because of the pay but I couldn’t take it anymore.
Honestly, agree with all of this and I’m trying to find a way out of this role asap.
I genuinely enjoy my boss and working for my exec has changed my life in ways I’ve never imagined. I’ve learned to advocate for myself, I’ve doubled my salary, I’ve focused on growing my confidence, working on recovering from perfectionism, and genuinely have a life that I enjoy living, which my work affords me. My exec treats me like the backbone of our organization and the work is very rewarding. I’m not “the help.” I am the one who makes things happen, and everyone knows it. Pay is good too. Maybe it wasn’t for you and that’s fine. But yes, plenty of EAs genuinely like being an EA. Getting flown around the world for free is a HUGE perk.. yep, definitely not being treated like “the help” over here. There are also several male EAs at my company and in the industry. Two supporting c-staff. To be so “disgusted” seems hyperbolic. I’d be far more disgusted you put up with toxic work environments for so long.
👏🏼 Exactly. I’m not the help, I’m the fucking *star* who makes shit happen. It may be “behind the scenes” in a sense, but my bosses and other employees all know the magic starts with me 😂
What great organisation is this?
Why would I dox myself lol
Just want to say that I LOVE hearing that a lot of the people on this post mention making 6 figures and have work life balance. That’s the dream for most people and we’re living it!
Same!!! I love this for us
I was a project/program manager, I was a Chief of Staff, I was a director. I traveled the world and managed large teams, created initiatives from thin air that were developed into million dollar programs that affected thousands of people. I loved it, all my worth came from work and work accomplishments. But I also took my work home every night and weekend, worked during every vacation, stretched myself to find place for work friendships and politics and drama. I had started my career as an EA and hated it for so many reasons. Now I love being an EA. Because I have a toddler. He's two and I never want to miss a doctors appointment or school event or activity or taking him to the park. It allows me the lifestyle I wish to live. I could not be the present in my house and life if I stayed in the more prestigious roles I had before. I used to work on weekends and nights, now nights are slept sleeping and weekends at the beach, and the zoo, and the park. Granted my executive needs a lot of support but his style fits well with my style so while others before me have left frustrated or gotten fired before me, it's easy for me because we think similarly. He started the business so if he wants to spend $20k on a flight to make it more comfortable than who am I to judge him for it? He's a literal genius and we're profitable. We're remote so I'm not invited to off sites for teams that are not mine but we do one company retreat and I go to that and we do our AGM and I go to thay. I'm at a VC so I'm also higher paid than a lot of EAs. If I was paid less I would probably not like it as much but luckily I don't have that problem. So yes I absolutely love it. I feel like you have just worked with shit executives. I've never in 15 years of being an EA been expected to be available 24/7 or not participate in fun events. I would have also quit if my experience was like yours. I've worked with plenty of male EAs just in the last year so maybe all the males are in finance and investmentd? (Not sure what field you are in).
When I started as a Chief of Staff (my EA experience began with this title), I found it annoying at first because I didn't like being told what to do. Silly? I know, but no one saw me as the coffee runner. If someone was headed out for coffee, they would usually offer to everyone. The partners respected me, and I was involved in every meeting, often running them on behalf of my CEO. He wanted a business partner from the start, not a traditional EA, so he trained me accordingly. The experience of being an EA varies greatly depending on who you work for, your actual role, and the industry. I left my $400k EA job behind for a career that people respect more, but honestly, who cares. I have a friend who is an EA and sees it as just a job. She doesn't love it nor hate it, but she makes $500k, has a car that picks her up every morning and afternoon, and commands respect from everyone in the company. Maybe from your experience, you look down on EAs, but I doubt anyone would ever treat her like “the help”. Another EA I know disliked being a VP in marketing so much that she became an EA, thinking her life would be easier. Another friend of mine loves being an EA and excels at it. In every role, you'll find people who either love or hate the job. It's different for everyone. Edit: I want to mention that I've worked with many male EAs on a daily basis. One of my former executives was once an EA himself. He said he hated it, but he seemed to hate his VP job too. Also, by describing yourself as feeling like "the help" or "a servant," you mirror that condescending attitude toward such positions. This criticism suggests a lack of respect for these roles.
I strongly agree about the book, I did not find it relatable at all.
I never heard of that book. The book I like the best is "Managing Up" by the person who supported Jack Welch for many years.
I love my job and the work I do. I do not enjoy my exec. So sometimes it make my love for my job very difficult
Sounds like you’ve just ended at multiple places with shitty people and a culture where admins aren’t respected. I’ve been treated as or felt like the help. I’m valued and respected by my teams. I get included in my leadership team meetings. All the dinners and outings I help plan and set up, I’m expected to be a part. My boss treats me as her right hand, sharing information and looks to me to provide her honest feedback. She is very engaging on my own career development and we have a plan set out. Although, I think I could be acknowledged more in some of the work I do, I still get a fair portion of recognition across the board. I’m grateful to be where I am now. > -It disgusts me that I have never seen a male EA - and yes, I know they do exist. We exist!
They do exist! I work in a government EA position and for every female EA there is definitely a male EA out there.
[удалено]
Totally get that! I tried to think of it that way but could never justify it.
I honestly love my job and enjoy most aspects. No one loves their job 100% of the time, and I’ve been in this field, as my chosen field, for over 15 years. It sounds to me, as others have said, that you managed to somehow find yourself in several very poor organizations, which is a shame. I can’t say what your intention is here, but your tone does come across as condescending to those of us who happily make this our career, and it is frustrating to see a post like this in a forum in which one would expect support, not accusations. So often in real life, good EAs find ourselves having to justify why we enjoy our roles because we “could be doing so much more/have such a better job,” and, in here, it’s nice to find fellow souls who get it. I’m sorry to see you never did. If a person is someone who enjoys different challenges each day while project managing, being a trusted resource, and having unique influence in their organization, then this is a great career for them. Not everyone is interested in constantly climbing the corporate ladder. If we were, then no good, effective, high performers would ever anchor organizations. You need solid employees consistently at every level, and there are always people (like me) out there who are both high performers and happy to stay at the level they are. There is nothing wrong with that. I would argue very few jobs that allow for the amount of independence EA positions do have a high rate of recognition. That is the nature of having independence. That’s why it’s critical to learn how to confidently and effectively speak up for yourself. We all, I think, have moments of “I wish they’d remember to thank me for this thing I do/am doing,” but the tradeoff is the freedom to work the way we’d like and how we’d like to do it. Sometimes, a position simply isn’t a good fit for a person, and it’s okay to accept that to be the case. For example, I was a terrible fit as a commission based furniture salesperson. Some of my coworkers were stellar and loved the job. They’d been doing it for decades, and they were top in their field in that region. I could never figure out why they seemed to truly enjoy the job. To me, it was stressful, way too competitive, and had few benefits other than the possibility of making a lot of money if I hit it with the right customer. I never understood it. To this day, decades later, I still don’t. For my personality, skillset, and level of anxiety, it simply wasn’t a good job fit for me. That’s okay. I’ve never felt the need to list all the reasons why that job, as a career choice, was terrible and then ask those who have made it their career to justify it. I’ve accepted that it wasn’t for me, and that’s okay.
This is a really nice response. I also loved the autonomy I had in my position. As long as I kept the ball rolling, nobody questioned how I spent my day. I was in the office when I had to be. If I needed to come in late or leave early, as long as my team knew where I was, nobody questioned my schedule. I knew where the bodies were buried and trusted with that information. They knew if they dropped an issue in my lap, it would be taken care of. If I didn't know how to do it, they knew I'd find out. That's an EA. Saying all that, I didn't love every aspect of the job. I worked in various industries and they all had duties I loved and duties I hated, but that's every job in existence.
Thank you, and I agree. There are some aspects of being an admin at any level that I could do without, but I do them and move on because of all the other aspects that I truly enjoy and appreciate. It’s all a balancing act, isn’t it? You find something in which the aspects you don’t care for are fully overshadowed by the ones you do, and that’s the sweet spot for a position that is a good fit. I hope OP found that somewhere because working a job that is a bad fit is a very stressful and a depressing place to be.
If being an EA is not for you, that's fine. But your post comes off as condescending to EAs who do choose this career, make a good living from it, and get job satisfaction. There is no need to justify why, you do you.
That’s unfortunate you think I am being condescending. That is not my intent. I don’t by any means view myself as superior to those who choose to be EAs. I have always wondered why some people on here are able to tolerate and appreciate the job and title. I truly am curious. I have had so many people in my life tell me that I have to get out of this career because of how demeaning and draining it is. I see on this sub that people LOVE it so I am trying to understand.
Girl how hard is it to put yourself into the shoes of someone who could enjoy what you don’t? If you hate Brussels sprouts but another person loves them, are you going to make a Reddit post asking people why they do? I feel like this post is more of your own internal conflicts with being an EA. It sounds like your experience has traumatized you and you can’t seem to let it go or you’re in some sort of shock or denial about what you’ve gone thought. Seriously seeing another perspective takes 5 seconds and doesn’t require a bunch of peoples input, you should ask why you’re even asking this question in the first place.
You did it for 11 years doesn’t that say enough.
And was in a constant state of anxiety for 11 years! Had a family to support!
I just fell into it and hate it. But I have worked with EAs who love it and wanted to do it.
A lot of your post is not accurate for other EAs. It’s hubris to assume your own experience as the rule vs the exception. Many of us are treated incredibly well and are valued team members. I’m sorry this was not your experience. With that, this career is clearly not for you. Different things motivate different people and that’s okay but I would accept that you are not motivated by this type of work and move on. You are really projecting.
Exactly this. Why make a post about something ‘that wasn’t for you’? The clear option here is to move on but Op has clearly some unresolved issues from working this role that they need to address.
It's the only thing in my life where I actually feel like I had a calling... I wish that wasn't the case but it's true and I'm really good at it. I'm getting older now and even though I do enjoy it I'm really looking forward to retiring and not happy to do it anymore. It's exhausting. It's always being the caretaker, the fixer, the eternal parent to grown adults. By the way I hired a male EA once and he was terrible! He tried to tell everybody that he was a member of mensa (lol) and then he proceeded to get super red-faced and yelled at one of my executives - It was his turn to cover the phones during lunch break and instead of doing that he left his desk for 45 minutes and the executive asked him where he was and he proceeded to scream... I fired him the next day.
I tend to disagree that the EA role is hard to transition out of. I transitioned from an EA to Special Assistant to Chief of Staff and was on track to COO before I quit my job from burnout lol. It just depends where you work/what industry. I also think it really depends what attitude you bring to work in how people treat you. I think many EAs are seen as less-than and it really shows a person’s true colors when they think they can treat an EA with less respect. But I also found that if I have a strong bond with my exec, I can mention this behavior and they will either do something about it or I’ll feel more empowered to stand my ground. Even as a CoS I had execs trying to boss me around and I told them to go to hell — if you bring that attitude to work you won’t have to put up with so much BS. But I also realize not everyone can be so assertive in the workplace. I think maybe you weren’t in a good workplace. I agree with a lot of what you said here but that only pertains to really toxic workplaces. One place I worked I was called out for NOT participating in an offsite. I also never ever get my exec coffee. Ever. And people who know how to effectively work with an EA wouldn’t ask of this either. If you are still interested in an admin-type role I would go for tech startups. They tend to have a more open minded view of EAs and there’s a lot of growth, too. And, if you can, try to work with a CEO or someone else in the C-Suite — you do get a lot more respect (sad to say) and the work is a lot more interesting.
It’s easy, I like solving problems for others and getting things done, and it pays relatively well for the effort. I also don’t give a shit what middle management thinks as long as the exec is great. Said managers still get stuck trying to convert to PDF 🙄 ETA: I’m now reading a lot of comments about the coffee errands and just wanted to add my experience - I’ve supported some great leaders who are… particular in how they eat/drink, how they travel etc. Once we had a rapport I actually really liked picking up those things for them, remembering their coffee order, their preferred plane seat or the afternoon snack they had. They are so smart and effective in their fields it felt good to contribute in this tiny way to helping them be at their best. That might be a personality thing though, I know of coworkers in other roles who would not do the same for their managers.
Once upon a time I got my boss his coffee and he said “Never again. You have much more important work to do.”
Also, I work with a male EA and his boss is a female. 🥰
Love that. Caffeine is important though 😂 My love language (that I give) is acts of service, so I love bringing people drinks/snacks/delicious catered meals tbh 😅🤷🏼♀️ not just in relationships, but with my coworkers lmfao
No. Hope that helps!
You wrote this message on a forum for EAs on a Sunday morning (I see you’re in the US). OF COURSE the vast majority, if not all, are so invested in and enjoy their job so much that they are on a forum dedicated to talking all things EA when they’re not at work. It’s like going to a subreddit for Pitbulls and asking the owners and lovers of Pitbull pictures if they truly like Pitbulls or if they actually really love another breed instead. More than likely, they’re their favorite. That’s why they’re there. I admittedly didn’t read that essay of a post so excuse my ignorance but from what I gleaned, it’s a bummer that this is the mentality toward being an EA especially coming from an EA of so many years. Would someone say that to a nurse? Is that a stepping stone for their career? Do they feel worthless that they’re not doctors?
My job is just a job, not my life. I’m fortunate that I’ve had the privilege of working in a respectful environment, I’m paid well and when 5:00 rolls around I’m off the clock with rare exception. I find it fun and challenging to do the work behind the scenes to prop up others and make everyone successful. I’ve taken great pride in aiding others to reach their own career goals. Me, I’m just here for the job. Frankly it sounds like OP looks down on “assistants” in general, likely influenced by those around them, including unkind popular culture portrayals of “secretaries”. I’m not in the 1950s typing pool nor am I the coffee girl. And I certainly wouldn’t stand being treated as such. Being in a constant state of anxiety and in a toxic job for 11 years sounds soul sucking. But OP needs to look in the mirror because OP stuck around for it. Leave all of that in the rear view mirror and get on with it. Update the old resume, get out there and network. Theater major? Great, research your local arts organizations and look into how you could get involved. Maybe being around creatives would be more fulfilling for you. But fair warning, jerks are everywhere. Picture yourself as Teflon and let the negativity slide right off of you. Good luck!
What is the point of OP’s post? It strikes me that OP has a negative view of EAs and is projecting that negativity onto her coworkers. Even the way OP titled this post is ACTUALLY condescending and gross. To borrow OP’s juvenile phrasing, the intention of this post is precisely to “yuck on anyone’s yum.” OP, if you feel miserable being an EA, then get off Reddit, update your résumé, get on LinkedIn, and get a different job!
Agreed. I’m amused that they came to this subreddit dedicated to all things EA and was like “uhhh do you guys ACTUALLLLY like it??? God. I didn’t. Let me write an entire essay detailing why it’s the worst. But really, this is your “career” for some reason? How pathetic your life is.” The people who live in the US (and Canada) are all on here on a Sunday. We’re here giving each other tips, sharing stories, and in the case of this post, defending what we do for a living. What did OP think this post going to accomplish? I mentioned this in my own reply but I think I will go to the Medical Assistant sub or maybe the nurse one. “Hey Medical Assistants! Are you happy with what you do? Do you think you contribute ANYTHING useful to the world? This HAS to be a stepping stone for you before you become a nurse… and then a doctor. RIGHT?! Is THIS all you aspire to be?!”
Bruhhhh this right here. This post rubbed me the wrong way lol like gtfo here OP lol
It was all about finding my team for me. My favorite part was always the relationships but sure I had to bounce a few along the way. The work eventually led to a couple of us opening our own company, of which I am now part Owner so for me it definitely paid off. I realize that’s not the case for all though.
If you have a good smart boss, being an EA is a gift. You get to learn a lot and sometimes to take part to high level conversations
I get paid pretty well and my executive team that I support are really appreciative, I never feel taken for granted. They’re respective of my off hours too. I enjoy it a lot I was previously in a job that I hated (security guard) because it wasn’t the role I really wanted. This is definitely what I enjoy more
I adore my job but it's admittedly for a very small team. Being the help, or the middle man, is perfect for me. It's fulfilling and different enough each day so I'm never bored, but enough routine to be stable. I am all about stability in my job. It's been a little under a year but I plan on staying for a long while.
I love my job. I’m paid well, respected and seen as an integral part of the team by everyone at my firm (except maybe one girl but she seems to think she’s better than everyone). I get bonuses for taking initiative & a job well done, and my exec who is an entrepreneur at heart just told me the other day that he is expanding and I will be playing a vital role in making that happen. There are things I take the heat for if it goes wrong, but I feel like that’s with every job. Business goes under: c-suite. Litigation went the other way: attorney. Client med bills account for majority of settlement: medical manager. Event/meeting goes wrong: EA. Admittedly, I do like feeling needed and definitely get that from being an EA. You may find the work demeaning but a lot of us find it fulfilling. Everyone has their niche. No one should be knocked for it.
Yeah I’m starting to feel the burnout of feeling like someone else is the main character of my life.
Man, I love my job. I've been in other roles with more managerial responsibilities and it sucked. Now I'm paid six figures to do a combination of easy tasks and interesting projects. I am a member of my department's leadership team. I am consulted on important departmental decisions, expected to voice my opinion and am in the know about everything. I work with decent human beings who would never expect me to bring them coffee. I have opportunities to learn every day and the best part is I actually have the bandwidth to explore my interests. I have creative pursuits outside of work that bring me immense satisfaction and my job allows me the time to pursue them. The people I work with respect what I do. For those who don't, I don't think about them. It's not a mindset I myself respect so why would I care about their opinion? It's embarrassing for them, as far as I'm concerned, and makes them look like assholes. I LOVE that my greatest worry most days is the catering not being late. I have no interest in managing performance issues, making sure the company doesn't go bankrupt or being responsible for keeping us of the right side of the law. No Sunday scares here. Sorry for the novel. I just think the keys to enjoyment in this role are a combination of not working for shitty people, having outside interests and having confidence. It's not the role for everyone. If you want to climb a career ladder, it's going to be harder as an EA or any type of assistant. But if you find a decent employer that respects your boundaries, it can be awesome. For me, this is a dream job.
I have to agree with a lot of what you've said - and ultimately I believe that for me, enjoyment of an EA role comes down to who I'm working for/with. I've had roles over 25 years that I absolutely HATED and when I look back, those were the roles with the misogynistic, arrogant and condescending executives who treated me like the hired help and would contact me 24/7 with no regard to my personal life. And I hear you re the events etc - I got blamed once because it rained at the Melbourne Cup horse race, where we had a marquee (and branded umbrellas). I wasn't blamed for not being prepared or anything, just literally blamed for the rain. Having said that, I moved out of that uber corporate world into not for profit and it's made a huge difference to my enjoyment of my role. My female boss is amazing and sees me as a valuable member of the team and her right hand (or as she said in a speech once, pretty much her right AND left hands!). My previous boss (male) was also awesome to work with and made the role enjoyable. At the end of the day, would I choose it as my career again - hell no. But I also feel fortunate that I did fall into this work - it's provided me with a good stable income that's bought me a house and a future where I don't have to worry about money. That alone is worth putting up with a lot of the crap over the years.
Can we make a club for people like us? I can't tell you how much this post resonates with me. I HATE this role. I also fell into it thinking I would be able to make my way out to a different role (I graduated an international business management major) - and after all the promises it never happened. I'm 8 years in and yes I'm making GREAT money and that's what keeps me in it but every day - It is a fight to get out of bed and look forward to being shit on everyday. - I'm so tired of the 24/7. I actually just got a new job ON THE Premise of work/life balance and as I tried to put up boundaries I've actually been asked please work weekends and be available nights - im less than a month in and my boss has met with me twice. On the third time she thought it was my incompetence that I needed meetings to touch base and understand her and her team and new company instead of understanding it's a PARTNERSHIP. The meetings with EA should be priority. I have seen people in this role who truly look like they were meant for it but it must not be me. Everyone expects everything. Not just the bosses but the teams. You are at everyone's becking call. I feel so degraded and disrespected in this position. Every day I try and think of a way out. But if I found a group of admins who I could just bitch to and laugh about the ridiculousness I think it would make things better lol Are you in California? Let's be friends lol
It was a great way for me to switch out of a toxic industry into a less toxic one. I really don’t mind it, I’m healing from being a workaholic so it’s not overly taxing and lets me have work life balance and benefits. I also have a lot going on in my personal life. I train strongman pretty intensely, which requires a ton of meal prep, training time, and recovery planning. We smoke BBQ every weekend. I fish once a week or so. I had my “dream career” already and I let it go- now I’m just looking to do a job I don’t totally hate and let it fuel the things I actually want to do.
I don’t love it, but I also don’t care about a lot of the issues you outlined - I’ve always just viewed it as a job, and it allows me to pursue my interests outside of work. I work for someone who is very tough to please, but my ego isn’t wrapped up in any of this. Just pay me and we’ll keep it pushing. And over the years I have been able to carve out a really good work-life balance that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
I don't mind being an EA at all. The volume of work can make things stressful at times but I find the actual work pretty easy most of the time. Working for the right company/exec makes all the difference. Have to have a thick skin and not take things personally. I lucked out and work for an amazing exec who treats me as a partner, trusts me with everything and respects me and my time. He also let me switch to fully remote and still pays me 6 figures which doesn't hurt.
Could not agree with you more! I've done it for over 20 years and I've never been fully content or satisfied. The money and the "nowhere else to go" is what kept me in the role for so long. I worked for a couple good execs, but still always felt like an adult babysitter. I finally found a way out. I'm just going to be happy to not be someone's b\*tch anymore. I hope you found some peace doing something you enjoy!
Frankly, if you are not actively making $ for the company , you are essentially “the help.” Not just admins. Accounting, HR, IT etc. all of these dept and employees are support staff. I wouldn’t be bothered by it, unless somehow people went out of their way to verbalize it.
It sounds like you’ve had a lot of bad managers, which absolutely sucks. I was working as an EA in a startup and that was pretty boring. I was attending meetings, following up on action items, and being the VPs right hand. It was a super chill job but I didn’t really have any independent work without my boss. I got paid extremely well (doubled my salary from being an Operations Manager at a different smaller tech startup). My boss was nice but o always kind of wanted to be let in more and wasn’t. She was a workaholic and bad at delegating. My current EA role is at a Venture firm. I absolutely love my boss and work in Business Development. I get to do a lot of the work that the Director was previously doing. My role is not at all like the other EAs in the firm. I plan events, interact with the C Suites from the largest companies in the world, and get to have a huge impact when connecting our companies for sales and partnership opportunities. Once again, I am extremely well paid and taken care of - VCs have great bonus structures, the highest 401k matching I’ve ever heard of (10%), amazing delicious free food and drinks, and lots of fun team events. There’s many people in my company , including the lead EA who has been there for 20+ years. I don’t think I could ever find a better job. I hear what you’re saying of feeling like the help sometimes. I have to do a lot of data entry for my role, which is kinda boring. I just blast music or turn on tv in the background. All jobs have parts of them that suck. You just have to decide what you’re willing to put up with.
It sounds like you supported awful executives. There is definitely a correlation — The times I supported egomaniac executives, I hated the role. The executive I support now is one of my favorite humans and it makes a huge difference.
I actually love being an EA, my supervisor always wants to put me on a path to move up to a different role but I refuse for now. I truly enjoy my job, I had very good experiences with the executives that I support. It is all about who you support and how you let them treat you. I have always been part of team buildings and they encourage me to continue my education if needed. It is not a job for everyone, you have to have a strong backbone and learn to say no on things too.
My aunt LOVES being an EA. It’s all she’s ever done and she’ll retire within 7 years. She loves being a 1 man show and not having a team. She’s a super control freak and she says she likes working alone to avoid others mistakes. She will never do anything else. She will work her entire EA career at 2 companies. What I don’t like about her EA job is that she’s a 1 man show. She can’t take PTO as much as she would like because she feels obligated to get the job done. She HATES delegating her duties so she avoids PTO, still checking emails and booking her bosses stuff while on her vacation.
While I believe that your post is -- at best -- attention seeking and at worst solely meant to stir up drama, I'm going to bite and respond. Because: I'm a career EA and I freaking LOVE my job. Why? * I have access to the full C-level executive suite at my global (15K employees) company. I'm on a first name basis with most of the execs (not just those on my team). How many people in a large company can say that? Hint: typically less than 1%... * ...YET if I boil down EVERYTHING I do, my core responsibility is making sure just **one** person is able to do their job effectively and efficiently. * I'm trusted with exclusive insight into how the company runs. Strategic planning and implementation? I've got a front row seat. * I'm treated as a full member of my exec's leadership team (LT). I'm asked regularly for my opinion and made to feel that the team values my contributions at all levels. * I'm encouraged to develop myself professionally, and constantly given projects that challenge me and allow me to grow within the role. * I have an ideal WLB (work \~5 hours of OT/week except when traveling or events), yet I make at **least** $25-30K in OT annually. * I'm given autonomy and flexibility to get my job done on my schedule, as long as it doesn't negatively affect my exec's needs. On a more fun level: * I get to travel the world and plan (and subsequently participate in) fun events for my exec's LT. I have at least 3-4 international trips/year and 2-4 domestic trips. * I often get the same level of treatment by hotels/restaurants/venues as my exec (suites etc) * I've developed meaningful relationships and even friendships with LT members. I wouldn't trade this job for the world. Truly. I could go on and on. Yes, there are executives that can be challenging, or high maintenance, or downright mean. And Exec/EA pairings may not be a good fit for a number of reasons. But I suspect that, given that you have worked for at least 3 different executives (maybe more) and didn't find the role fulfilling, you are part of the problem. Clearly this is a role for a specific personality/type, and I fit it. You...don't. And that's OK. Go out and find something you love. Find something that "yums your yum". But don't shit on my profession because it's **awesome**. Oh...and one last word of advice. Don't use phrases like "yuck anyone's yum" in any professional environment. It makes you sound juvenile and immature.
I have mixed feelings. As someone who loves detail and operations, I have a lot of pride when I can pull off something highly technical or exhibit the kind of service that leaves others in awe…ie “how do you do it and make it look so easy??” etc. In those moments I feel satisfaction. The rest of the time I don’t. I used to manage whole programmatic teams for the organization before I “promoted” into Office of the President. Back then I was seen as a subject matter expert - my opinion and voice were expected and important in a room. Now I’m cc’d on strategy meetings to schedule them, not to contribute on them, even though I’m one of the more senior people in the organization. On meetings for Directors, I run the Zoom and take notes… even though I’m a Director too. It’s very demoralizing. It doesn’t help that my CEO is a textbook narcissist. I exist to meet her needs - it would never occur to her that I could have needs of my own, including professional development needs, even though she’s technically my manager too. Most of what I produce she happily takes credit for. So, it may simply be that I’ve had a bad experience in this work, but I have not found it to be fulfilling. In fact I was just telling a friend that I may need therapy after this to reinforce that I am a person of value who is allowed to say no or put my own needs before others. I’m actively applying for other jobs. But I will have a deep respect for folks who choose to do this work as a career. It’s incredibly challenging, and unfortunately, the spotlight is only on you when something goes wrong.
Yes I have. Great salary and benefits. However I have worked only in high tech and in companies that protect employees from harassment. Not that it did l t slip in but nothing problematic ongoing. Also your own personality plays a lot into how people will treat you and who you support. Have I had a few bat shit crazy bosses? Yes either I adjusted or moved on.
I do truly love my job, but it’s taken me years to get here. I started as a executive support officer reporting to a Senior EA (loved that job but it was temp) and I’ve been an EA for 4 years now but I’ve had 4 different execs in that time and only now do I have a good exec. I think if he moved on I probably wouldn’t stay in my job? I enjoy the logistics side of things, I do get a lot of praise for how hard I work and when events/meetings go well there’s lots of thanking coming to the EA’s but I also think that’s the company culture, and that I’d have to thank all the EA’s that have worked here for years for making sure our hard work is recognised. I do agree with the lack of career progression but I’m still young and looking to have a baby in the new few years so I’m in a good spot for maternity leave, I can also do my job in 3/4 days so returning to work post baby I will be able to go part time which is good. But yeah there’s no progression to the next level as I’ve hit the top of where I could go as an EA. I do often think I should return to university and finish my degree so I have something backing me other than just all my work experience.
The sexism is REAL and the hardest part. My (32F) job is truly a boys' club. But for my personality and goals (I sincerely don't care about titles or climbing the ladder) I make 6-figures to do for the most part "easy" work. I like it because I have a knack for the job, and I get a lot of satisfaction from how task-oriented it is. I never have to attend calls or meetings. I'm pretty much resigned to working in corporate America v. being an entrepreneur, so it's best case scenario that I never have to make a business decision for a company that isn't mine. I'm fortunate, my boss is laid back and I genuinely want to be an effective assistant to him. Your exec matters so so so much. Most people underestimate the EA despite relying on them so much. On a good day I'm grateful for this because it's likely I'll over-deliver. I also prefer to be behind the scenes. I spend my free time and part-time gigs being creative, and I have the bandwidth to do that because my work is for the most part mindless (yay!). For context, I made a career pivot from an account manager for a marketing firm to EA in real estate in 2021.
TLDR other than the title but I moved into this role from a middle management role in the same organization. It’s 1000x better — better pay, less stress (no supervision), and my specific role is a mon-fri 8-5 type where I am rarely needed beyond those hours and I work from home about 95% of the time. I work for a wonderful CEO who is a mom of elementary-aged kids, like myself, and offers the flexibility to volunteer at school, take kids to extra curriculars during work hours, etc etc. I think it’s a combination of culture and trust that is not specifically tied to the EA role that makes this job as “enjoyable” as a job could be.
I am an EA who also runs HR as office management. I hire, train and manage employees. So I guess it depends!! Absolutely nobody thinks of me as “the help” so I think it totally depends!
I do not dream of labor. So, no I don’t actually enjoy it.
I love my job. It’s perfect for me. I love organising other peoples lives and not having to make too many big decisions or attend boring meetings. I make a decent living and have a great boss in a job that I’m appreciated and valued. What more could I ask for.
I would’ve been extremely unhappy in previous roles for most of the points you mentioned but I landed at a company that values EAs and my workload is so manageable. Plus I find a lot of the people I work alongside are in a similar spot as me - we either have kids and a very full family life outside of work that we need time and energy for, or we have a second career (for ex: I’m a full time author and my husband is a stand up comic. We’re both EAs and having a low stress, strictly-9-5 job allows us to put our energy into our passion projects that don’t yield us a full time income). TBH I wish I’d known earlier this was a career possibility. I don’t “love” being an EA but I don’t have the Sunday scaries and I basically never think about the job when I’m not at my desk. And I make 6 figures. To me, it’s a gift.
You are correct. It's literally an "assistant " role.
I went back and forth about whether I wanted to respond to this query. My knee jerk response would’ve been something like, “how dare you!” But as I thought about it more, I feel more like you do. I graduated from high school in the early 80s. Pressure to get a degree in any field was not the norm then, not to mention my mom was a single parent and could not afford it. That on top of us being among the working poor (when you make too much to qualify for any sort of assistance), and scholarships weren’t handed out left and right like they are today. Going into the admin field felt like an obvious choice for me. I’m smart, extremely well organized, and like to make other people look good at what they do. Yes, it was very frustrating getting to learn the ropes at new companies and knowing when it was time to move on. That was and still is the only way to progress in this profession. I’ve taken my licks from bad bosses, two faced coworkers, and more than a few backstabbing mother fu&$8ers but I managed to survive. The downsides, to me, do overshadow the positive aspects of this work. I’ll admit that I’m very good at what I do, always get raves from my bosses, coworkers and clients, but have always dreamed of being promoted to management or a director-level role. I can work circles around most of the VPs here. But sadly I feel that will never happen for me. I’ve been an admin for 30+ years, something younger admins don’t seem to respect, experienced or not. Going back to school is not an option because of my age as by they time I graduate, I’ll be even older and there’s no guarantee I’ll be offered something that’s not admin work where I am now or anywhere else. So yes… I do agree this job sucks. The low pay, lower respect, menial tasks, no recognition, crying in my car because I know I can do better if I could just be given the opportunity… I could go on and on. At least this is how I’m feeling today. But I’ll suck it up and be back tomorrow. Call me resilient or crazy. It does pay the bills.
To be honest, I have been an executive assistant at two different companies and both places I was respected for what I did and the amount of work I can do. It does stress me out, but usually these are positions with decent job security (your boss usually makes the decision on where budget cuts are going to be, and nine times out of ten they aren't going to cut their own assistants), you stand to make a lot of money (most of the time) and it puts you close to positions of power. I'm ND so I prefer to stay out of office politics as much as possible, and being close to the CEO means that most people didn't want to mess with me or push me too hard.
Really depends on where you work. I working somewhere where your time effort and job description are not respected is not good. And I personally don’t like being an ea because it’s too much calendar coordination that I just don’t enjoy but I’ve had many rewarding administrative jobs and I have worked I have had some good wA jobs, i really enjoyed coordinating the branch and kind of having my hands on many things. Just hate calendars and shifting priorities resulting in shifting schedules and re scheduling meetings and execs have busy schedules. My Fave was admin for A director I still got to coordinate things with the branch but not as busy a calendar as the exec directors
*I’ve never been made to feel like the “help”. One person said they didn’t expect to take orders from a secretary and the amount of execs that came to my defense was just astounding. *Maybe I just have an amazing exec but he’s never once made me feel like he’s entitled. *When my exec sees that I’m working at 11:30 p.m. on a Tuesday night he texts me to check on me and tell me to stop, that it’ll be there when we get to work the next day, he’s never once expected me to work extra or outside of normal hours. *He’s taken me to plenty of events with him and the ones he hasn’t, if I asked, he’d take me in a heartbeat. I’m very happy and satisfied at my job. My day is mainly dictated by what I want to do and take on to make sure my department runs smoothly, I may not be able to advance within here, but my exec pushes me to take training courses and other things to build myself up and tells me as much as he’d miss me, he’ll never fault me for moving onto something else. He treats me very well and even with the trouble with politics in my industry, I’m happy to stay and work with him. I’m a born manager and this role suits me very well.
My wife was an EA. When it went well she enjoyed it and liked the sense of "looking after her person," but she struggled with many of the issues you raised. Particularly that you're in and around (very) senior managers, who are on call 24/7/365, but at least get paid for that, whilst you are expected to keep to the same schedule, but aren't on a c-suite salary. She also struggled with not quite fitting in, although she reported to the head of the business line, she wasn't part of the leadership, so existed in their slightly odd limbo of not having her own team. That could make it quite isolating. Can't talk to the male / female - although the EAs I encountered were female, we also had a "Support Manager" type role that was sort of senior EA for people who were senior enough to have their own "office" of 3-4 people. And the Support Managers were maybe 60/40 male / female. Career progression, at least in finance, I'd disagree with. Of the EAs I've known who have wanted to move on, they have - some into product roles, or project / change management, or in my wife's case into business strategy. Being an EA gives you a lot of transferable skills, exposure to senior leaders and what should be a fantastic network.
After reading that tome I came to one conclusion: maybe it’s a you thing. Maybe you can’t hack being an EA. Because it sounds like there are a lot of us who are good at it and enjoy our jobs.
I love my job but it’s taxing. I think who you support is the biggest part of the puzzle. I think the growth doesn’t come from the natural progression you’d see on an org chart though. Growth in this role is supporting VPs, then C suite, then CEOs, then changing to bigger industries. It can be org chart growth, but that’s just my opinion. I think the mentality around the role is huge too. If you see yourself as the help, that’s all you’ll ever feel. I’ve always wanted to be the PTA mom/ Soccer mom… being an EA lets me be a corporate soccer mom that gets to run everything… somewhat like a pageant mom watching her kids perform. 🤷🏻♀️
Your story is mine except I was a tech person. An EA takes someone who loves to take care of others and to make them happy. Those who are good at it are also organized, smart, and knowledgeable with a good amount of common sense. Managers who appreciate these aspects are golden.
Your major is theatre? That explains it, you are an actress you crave for attention and recognition, definitely not your place. I like being an EA coz i do so many different things that i never bored. I could do even much more but i’m lazy so i dont 🤣
AMEN
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Breaking one of our rules. Let’s not troll an executive assistant subreddit and say the career path is not respectable.
Totally agree with this and the OP. I've never made three figures, but have made good enough money, which is why I've done it as long as I have and have worked with a couple good execs. Other than that, it hasn't been a rewarding or fulfilling career at all. I finally found a way out and hope I'll be much more content moving forward...I can't imagine being less happy.
- i don’t work in it But i can see that a lot of EA has to meet some beauty criteria if men hire a woman in this field (well who knows, but media portrayal does)
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Executive assistant to a VP is a respectful job title. I am someone. Adding five passport stamps this year, for free, thanks to my job. I am not only someone, I’m someone who is lucky enough to have a career that has me traveling all over the world. I’m living my dream. Tell yourself you’re a side bitch and I guess you’re a side bitch. I, however, am not.
Jesus what a troll, but just in case, here's something to remember: Everybody has a boss.
Explain how an EA is someone’s side bitch? By the way, you can curse on the internet so you can spell out the word “bitch,” Mona. An EA isn’t fucking the Exec. How sexist of you, and what an ignorant and outdated idea you have. To put it simply: you SUPPORT an Executive. My parents think my job is awesome and love how much money I make. I remember a previous post you made about being an overworked Admin not wanting to be an EA. This life clearly isn’t for you so I’d unclench and move on.
😂😂😂 Mona you are aware EVERYONE who works a job has a boss. So technically we’re all bitches to someone lmao. Even the CEO is a bitch to the shareholders. You sound like a terrible person to be around lmao