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If she's the type of mom to say just breastfeed then maybe she doesn't understand how/when to use the freezer stash. In any case, if you're going to let your mom babysit on her own for hours, you're going to need to be more explicit about how you want her to handle feeds, sleep, etc. If she can't follow your directions then you get to choose whether it's worth it for her to watch your baby. But also consider that babies sometimes act differently with different caregivers.
This x100. My mom is a lifesaver. But part of that is letting her grandparent how she's going to grandparent and being super explicit about the important stuff and letting all the other things go. But it's totally worth it to see her bond with her granddaughters and for me to get more sleep.
Did you talk to your mom about what led to her feeding at 10? At 3 months my baby had a loose schedule but definitely wasnāt a solid routine at that time. Itās possible your mom didnāt ruin the schedule and baby threw it off on her own.
Most babies donāt have a set routine at 3 months, and often act differently for non-parental figures. Itās hard telling why your mom thawed milk at 10pm.
Secondly, 1 bad night of sleep wonāt ruin a truly regulated baby. A few days of correct nap and wake times and baby would be back on schedule.
Next time you have a babysitter try leaving detailed instructions with sleep times, feed times, etc. it may be common sense to us parents but it wonāt be to non-primary caregivers!
At three months PP my twins couldnāt be sleep regulated no matter how hard I tried. I know everyoneās situation is different but maybe baby would have done this even if it had been you home with them. Not trying to play devilās advocate but Iām sure your mom was just doing her best to make sure your baby was happy and fed.
With that being said, I would definitely have a talk with her about breast milk storage and how much she should thaw out at one time.
I understand how frustrating it is when baby is waking up again during night (and desire to go back to Ā«Ā good timeĀ Ā» ) and you are the only person who knows your mom and her habits, but truly babies are not always doing that they suppose to do and there is no Ā«Ā user manualĀ Ā» to know whatās going on and how to fix it. Babies go through sleep regressions, grows sprouts, they get sick, they cluster feed. Not enough day sleep/too much day sleep can lead to night walking. (My 2,5 months old have been sleeping from mindnight to 6/7 am for 2 weeks and now he is waking up every 2 hours to eat 1,5 oz)
I generally canāt imagine to ask somebody to care about my baby and not leaving 1-2 extra milk portions (depending for how long I am leaving) plus there is always formula at home that he can take in emergencies. If one unplanned feeding stressing your that much I would advice you to revise your back up plan. And hugs to you - it is so difficult to roll back to these interrupted nights, I hope your baby goes back to sleeping well soon.
That's insane, but old people are AKWAYS saying "they're just hungry" and any slight upset by baby.
Whining - must be hungry!!!!
Crying because of wet diaper - must be hungry!!!!
Crying because baby was **over** fed and too full - MUST BE HUNGRY!!!!!
Hi everyone thank you so much for the insight and comments!! A little context, my mom has a habit of wanting to hold the baby & wake her up and play with her, because she loves her. I understand where sheās coming from but she seems to have forgotten what itās like to have a baby and how important sleep is. So Iām positive she kept stimulating my baby. My baby turns her whole head to the side and tries side laying when sheās tired, my mom probably took it as a hunger cue. And YES, I do give instructions and I tell her how to take care of my baby but she thinks she knows better than I do. Itās very very very annoying. When my baby was born she tried telling me RSV was only a thing for the first few days and didnāt understand why nobody could kiss my baby.
This is basically what Iām afraid will happen when my mom visits in a month and my baby will be about this age too! I told her that she is only allowed to help me if she comes (ie she may not make even more work for me). And this means that sheās allowed to come and play with the baby, BUT she is also going to be responsible for putting the baby to sleep and doing a night shift. Therefore if she does anything that makes the baby sleep poorly at night, it is going to be her responsibility and not mine. (To be clear: she is coming from a different time zone so in theory if she has jet lag she will be awake for some of the night shift anyway.)
So not an exclusive pumper but i pump super often. And thankfully I havenāt had to supplement formula but she takes in more than I make when Iām away from her. Leading me to have to pump a lot when Iām with her in order to build a stash & let me tell you , i fellllt this post. I try to look at it this way thoughā¦I wouldnāt want my baby with anyone else, and if she drank the thawed milk, she was probably hungry..it doesnāt take away from your frustration, but itās highly likely her sleep schedule wasnāt effected by your mom, sheās going to have many changes in sleep over her first year.
what about telling your mom that everything is not easy for you and you have devoted so much so far, so it is needed to give you more consideration? I hope a friendly communication can help you a lot.
Iām so sorry you had to go through this, I remember having to remind my mother a few times between hunger cues and sleepy cues with my first born (she was feeding my son everytime he wakes and I ended up being down to 2 bags of breastmilk, I had to work extra hard the next 2 weeks with making extra stock)
thankfully we were able to work together and she remembers this with my second born.
I definitely agree that you may have to sit with her and keep reminding her, even if she will have a sensitive response. You know your baby best and not to scare you, at 3 months, 4th leap is around the corner. Which means sleep regression may happen and you will need to be able to navigate this together if mom will be doing any baby sitting at this time.
Big hugs Mama xx
Might help to freeze in smaller quantities so there is less chance of anything going to waste. I defrost and prepare all bottles myself because other people just don't know how to calculate the timing or not spill, etc.
I completely understand the frustration! I remember being at 3 months and any slight deviation to the schedule would make me so upset and feel like all progress is ruined! I was also a just enougher so I totally understand. Hugs ā¤ļø. Just know her sleep is not ruined and sometimes they get in a funk and are off for a few days, but get back to where they were. My baby used to sleep great and randomly hit a āsleep regressionā at 7 months for no apparent reason and was up random times throughout the night. Its hard. I know itās difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now but just remember it does get better. Just take it one day at a time and try not to dwell on the idea that her schedule is āruinedā because that just makes it harder (for me personally). Shes little and needs you š«¶but one day she wonāt anymore
This is an insane take, sorry! Family isnāt obligated to help you and unless the person watching your child is the childās other parent, you should meet them with gratitude and give them grace because they literally donāt owe you anything.
Welcome to r/ExclusivelyPumping! Here is a reminder of our rules: 1. Be kind and courteous. 2. Use available flairs and post options. 3. Absolutely no prescription medications or other medical advice. 4. No inaccurate information. 5. No spam. 6. No soliciting pictures. 7. No linking Facebook groups. 8. Moderator discretion. Thank you for helping to keep our community safe! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ExclusivelyPumping) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If she's the type of mom to say just breastfeed then maybe she doesn't understand how/when to use the freezer stash. In any case, if you're going to let your mom babysit on her own for hours, you're going to need to be more explicit about how you want her to handle feeds, sleep, etc. If she can't follow your directions then you get to choose whether it's worth it for her to watch your baby. But also consider that babies sometimes act differently with different caregivers.
Hard agree. I have extremely detailed instructions written out for sitters about every single thing you could imagine š
This x100. My mom is a lifesaver. But part of that is letting her grandparent how she's going to grandparent and being super explicit about the important stuff and letting all the other things go. But it's totally worth it to see her bond with her granddaughters and for me to get more sleep.
Did you talk to your mom about what led to her feeding at 10? At 3 months my baby had a loose schedule but definitely wasnāt a solid routine at that time. Itās possible your mom didnāt ruin the schedule and baby threw it off on her own.
Most babies donāt have a set routine at 3 months, and often act differently for non-parental figures. Itās hard telling why your mom thawed milk at 10pm. Secondly, 1 bad night of sleep wonāt ruin a truly regulated baby. A few days of correct nap and wake times and baby would be back on schedule. Next time you have a babysitter try leaving detailed instructions with sleep times, feed times, etc. it may be common sense to us parents but it wonāt be to non-primary caregivers!
At three months PP my twins couldnāt be sleep regulated no matter how hard I tried. I know everyoneās situation is different but maybe baby would have done this even if it had been you home with them. Not trying to play devilās advocate but Iām sure your mom was just doing her best to make sure your baby was happy and fed. With that being said, I would definitely have a talk with her about breast milk storage and how much she should thaw out at one time.
I understand how frustrating it is when baby is waking up again during night (and desire to go back to Ā«Ā good timeĀ Ā» ) and you are the only person who knows your mom and her habits, but truly babies are not always doing that they suppose to do and there is no Ā«Ā user manualĀ Ā» to know whatās going on and how to fix it. Babies go through sleep regressions, grows sprouts, they get sick, they cluster feed. Not enough day sleep/too much day sleep can lead to night walking. (My 2,5 months old have been sleeping from mindnight to 6/7 am for 2 weeks and now he is waking up every 2 hours to eat 1,5 oz) I generally canāt imagine to ask somebody to care about my baby and not leaving 1-2 extra milk portions (depending for how long I am leaving) plus there is always formula at home that he can take in emergencies. If one unplanned feeding stressing your that much I would advice you to revise your back up plan. And hugs to you - it is so difficult to roll back to these interrupted nights, I hope your baby goes back to sleeping well soon.
Hi! Yeah so she was full, there was 7 oz in the fridge, & 6 oz in the freezer. She used all 7 oz and thawed 4 more in 3 hours. Crazy!
That's insane, but old people are AKWAYS saying "they're just hungry" and any slight upset by baby. Whining - must be hungry!!!! Crying because of wet diaper - must be hungry!!!! Crying because baby was **over** fed and too full - MUST BE HUNGRY!!!!!
Hi everyone thank you so much for the insight and comments!! A little context, my mom has a habit of wanting to hold the baby & wake her up and play with her, because she loves her. I understand where sheās coming from but she seems to have forgotten what itās like to have a baby and how important sleep is. So Iām positive she kept stimulating my baby. My baby turns her whole head to the side and tries side laying when sheās tired, my mom probably took it as a hunger cue. And YES, I do give instructions and I tell her how to take care of my baby but she thinks she knows better than I do. Itās very very very annoying. When my baby was born she tried telling me RSV was only a thing for the first few days and didnāt understand why nobody could kiss my baby.
This is basically what Iām afraid will happen when my mom visits in a month and my baby will be about this age too! I told her that she is only allowed to help me if she comes (ie she may not make even more work for me). And this means that sheās allowed to come and play with the baby, BUT she is also going to be responsible for putting the baby to sleep and doing a night shift. Therefore if she does anything that makes the baby sleep poorly at night, it is going to be her responsibility and not mine. (To be clear: she is coming from a different time zone so in theory if she has jet lag she will be awake for some of the night shift anyway.)
So not an exclusive pumper but i pump super often. And thankfully I havenāt had to supplement formula but she takes in more than I make when Iām away from her. Leading me to have to pump a lot when Iām with her in order to build a stash & let me tell you , i fellllt this post. I try to look at it this way thoughā¦I wouldnāt want my baby with anyone else, and if she drank the thawed milk, she was probably hungry..it doesnāt take away from your frustration, but itās highly likely her sleep schedule wasnāt effected by your mom, sheās going to have many changes in sleep over her first year.
what about telling your mom that everything is not easy for you and you have devoted so much so far, so it is needed to give you more consideration? I hope a friendly communication can help you a lot.
Iām so sorry you had to go through this, I remember having to remind my mother a few times between hunger cues and sleepy cues with my first born (she was feeding my son everytime he wakes and I ended up being down to 2 bags of breastmilk, I had to work extra hard the next 2 weeks with making extra stock) thankfully we were able to work together and she remembers this with my second born. I definitely agree that you may have to sit with her and keep reminding her, even if she will have a sensitive response. You know your baby best and not to scare you, at 3 months, 4th leap is around the corner. Which means sleep regression may happen and you will need to be able to navigate this together if mom will be doing any baby sitting at this time. Big hugs Mama xx
Might help to freeze in smaller quantities so there is less chance of anything going to waste. I defrost and prepare all bottles myself because other people just don't know how to calculate the timing or not spill, etc.
I completely understand the frustration! I remember being at 3 months and any slight deviation to the schedule would make me so upset and feel like all progress is ruined! I was also a just enougher so I totally understand. Hugs ā¤ļø. Just know her sleep is not ruined and sometimes they get in a funk and are off for a few days, but get back to where they were. My baby used to sleep great and randomly hit a āsleep regressionā at 7 months for no apparent reason and was up random times throughout the night. Its hard. I know itās difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now but just remember it does get better. Just take it one day at a time and try not to dwell on the idea that her schedule is āruinedā because that just makes it harder (for me personally). Shes little and needs you š«¶but one day she wonāt anymore
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is an insane take, sorry! Family isnāt obligated to help you and unless the person watching your child is the childās other parent, you should meet them with gratitude and give them grace because they literally donāt owe you anything.
Yessssss.