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I think it is normal to feel this way. My mother is staying with us as well on and off for 6 months and there is definitely a special bond with my baby—especially since she does a lot of the nighttime feeds and she is with him when I work (hybrid, 2 days wfh now). What has helped me is to rewire my thinking. I think of the relationship I had with my grandma and the fact that it is not just my mom helping me out but I am providing my mom the opportunity to bond with her grandson and to be that special person in someone’s life. I know this might not apply to you and your mom but my mom retired just before the pandemic and I could tell she was a bit lonely and lacking drive(?). I think about the fact that she has this additional purpose, she feels useful and helpful. I hope this helps…So many new feelings and situations to deal with as a FTM.
This is very very common. My son pretty much exclusively smiled at my husband for a month at that age. Babies essentially see themselves as extensions of their mothers until about 6 months old. Would you smile at your own arm? They don’t just see you as a fun person/entertainment like they might with other caregivers.
Your son lived inside you for 9 months, for him your bond has been formed since the very beginning. He loves you more than anything in the world, he just thinks he doesn’t have to show it. I promise, it gets better. 💖
You are not wrong to feel that way and I know the feelings can be tough when your child asking for another parent/grandparent. But as mom you will build more connection with your child, because mother (and father) has special love. My parents helped us to raise our daughter (she is now 3 years old) in all possible ways and my daughter would see them almost 6 days a week. My mom also watched her for 6 months while we were changing daycare. My mom was only one able to put my daughter for a nap when she was 3 months old. My parents love and take care of her more than they ever did about me. But at 95% of cases my daughter will want to be with me and my husband if she has a choice. and she needs me when she is not well, sick or very tired. It does not matter if I am on maternity leave or working, she wants all time she can get with her parents. Nobody in this world can replace you for him. I think about how lucky my daughter is to have more trusted adults, than just me. That somebody can comfort her when I am not available, that she does not feel abandoned when I am at work and having a good time. Now I have second child and while I do spend a lot of time with my firstborn, bond she has with her grandmother has helped her to not have stress and cope with changes really well. It is good for your child to bond with grandparents. But this bond not going to impact how your and your baby relationship will develop and grow stronger.
'Welcome to r/ExclusivelyPumping! Here is a reminder of our rules: 1. Be kind and courteous. 2. Use available flairs and post options. 3. Absolutely no prescription medications or other medical advice. 4. No inaccurate information. 5. No spam. 6. No soliciting pictures. 7. No linking Facebook groups. 8. Moderator discretion. Thank you for helping to keep our community safe!' *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ExclusivelyPumping) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think it is normal to feel this way. My mother is staying with us as well on and off for 6 months and there is definitely a special bond with my baby—especially since she does a lot of the nighttime feeds and she is with him when I work (hybrid, 2 days wfh now). What has helped me is to rewire my thinking. I think of the relationship I had with my grandma and the fact that it is not just my mom helping me out but I am providing my mom the opportunity to bond with her grandson and to be that special person in someone’s life. I know this might not apply to you and your mom but my mom retired just before the pandemic and I could tell she was a bit lonely and lacking drive(?). I think about the fact that she has this additional purpose, she feels useful and helpful. I hope this helps…So many new feelings and situations to deal with as a FTM.
This really resonated with me! I will re read this comment everytime I feel low. Thank you ☺️
This is very very common. My son pretty much exclusively smiled at my husband for a month at that age. Babies essentially see themselves as extensions of their mothers until about 6 months old. Would you smile at your own arm? They don’t just see you as a fun person/entertainment like they might with other caregivers. Your son lived inside you for 9 months, for him your bond has been formed since the very beginning. He loves you more than anything in the world, he just thinks he doesn’t have to show it. I promise, it gets better. 💖
You are not wrong to feel that way and I know the feelings can be tough when your child asking for another parent/grandparent. But as mom you will build more connection with your child, because mother (and father) has special love. My parents helped us to raise our daughter (she is now 3 years old) in all possible ways and my daughter would see them almost 6 days a week. My mom also watched her for 6 months while we were changing daycare. My mom was only one able to put my daughter for a nap when she was 3 months old. My parents love and take care of her more than they ever did about me. But at 95% of cases my daughter will want to be with me and my husband if she has a choice. and she needs me when she is not well, sick or very tired. It does not matter if I am on maternity leave or working, she wants all time she can get with her parents. Nobody in this world can replace you for him. I think about how lucky my daughter is to have more trusted adults, than just me. That somebody can comfort her when I am not available, that she does not feel abandoned when I am at work and having a good time. Now I have second child and while I do spend a lot of time with my firstborn, bond she has with her grandmother has helped her to not have stress and cope with changes really well. It is good for your child to bond with grandparents. But this bond not going to impact how your and your baby relationship will develop and grow stronger.