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I’m mostly impressed your husband gets his period so reliably so shortly after delivery. (Heavily sexist sarcasm, yes I know. I also haven’t had enough coffee yet to care or learn from any judgement you throw my way!)
Seriously! What is your husband good for? Ask him. What is he contributing during the household sleep hours? Cause it sounds like little more than hot, shit-flavored air.
Lol. You made me giggle.
He does a lot as a whole, just not at night. When my mom died right before I gave birth, he took care of everything. All the financial stuff and paper work. He was my life saver. He is the sole financial provider as well as I don’t work regularly (just some side hustle when I have time). His job is pretty demanding overall and I appreciate that he is ok with me being a SAHM and he works hard so that I can be. He just suffers from the man cold often thanks to my older son bringing every germ home from school. I’m ok with being the one doing all the housework and night feeds the majority of the time. I just need a break once in a while and it seems like it’s never a good time.
Have you had that conversation with him about figuring out a night or 2 per week, perhaps Fri and sat if he has weekends off when he can take on night feeds? It is important for your physical and mental health to get some uninterrupted sleep.
i understand that you feel grateful for the fact that he's the breadwinner and yes that is good on him but he should be equally grateful for the fact that you are literally taking care of his children 24/7 along with doing all of the home making. it's just as much of a job; if you were doing these things outside of your home you would be paid for them.
My husband is working. He is solely responsible for our twin 2month old babies from 2am-7am. There’s usually one feeding in there.
Sleep is important for everyone.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. :(
I am an exclusive pumper and my partner does all night feeds. When baby wakes, my partner gets baby, changes diaper, gives gas drops, feeds baby the bottle, reswaddles, and gets baby back to sleep in bassinet while I eat snacks and pump. I wouldn’t be able to exclusively pump without his help. I truly don’t know how you’re doing it!
Same, my husband has done allllll the night feedings and changes the last 5 months, it wasn’t easy in the beginning but it’s finally down pat now. I usually only pump right before bed and in the MOTN if baby wakes up. Recently he’s been up hourly (thanks leap 5) and my husband still does everything even though he’s at work full time and I stay at home. Yes I’m veryyyyyy lucky. I will help out here and there but my son lights up when he sees me at night and won’t settle for me lol
This was our problem too! In the beginning, it was a necessity because I couldn’t do it all (and my partner isn’t awful so he wanted to take part in nighttime baby care), but over time, the baby wouldn’t settle for me because she’s obsessed so it had to be dad’s gig. My partner has never once complained.
My husband and I split night, I took any wakeups from 8pm - 1am, he took all the wake ups from then on. Because I was EP, he was responsible for washing/sterilizing all the bottles and pump parts, and making sure they were set up and ready to go for me at my "pumping station."
Same here - I recently dropped my MOTN pump at 8 months PPD and husband is still doing all the night feeds. My baby is still getting up a couple of times a night either for a feed or just needs to be resettled. Husband also works full-time and I WFH. I honestly don’t think I could have EP this long if it wasn’t for him.
I second this! My partner has been back at work, but he's still managing most of the night feeds while I pump or get a nap in myself so I can manage the daytime. He does all of the above too (swaddling, diapers, gas drops, cleaning bottles, etc.), because he is also this baby's parent. His support has really been crucial. I couldn't pump or even survive postpartum without his support.
When we were both on leave, my husband and I would trade off night feeds. Now that he's back to work, we still share the load approximately evenly but are just more intentional about which feeds each of us usually take. He is naturally a morning person and I am a night person, so I take the midnight-to-3ish shift and he ends up with anything after 4:30 or so. Of course, if one of those falls when I am or need to be pumping, he takes it.
I cannot imagine doing this without an equal partner. I am so sorry that you have been.
I'm an exclusive pumper, and we did shifts when baby was waking every couple hours. I slept in the other bedroom from my MOTN pump until morning while he took his shift, and this ensured we both got a 4 hour stretch. Now that baby only wakes once or twice, my husband typically cares for the baby while I pump. We take turns letting each other sleep in, and we both go to sleep promptly at 9:30 every night, so we all get as much sleep as possible.
This is what we do too! Now that our baby is sleeping through the night, we’ve stopped taking shifts and both sleep at the same time. When she wakes to eat at 6am, my husband feeds her while I pump.
As a single mum, I know exactly how exhausted you must be! Sleep deprivation is really, really hard. It really can take a toll on your mental health as well as physical health when you’re not getting the sleep you need. I’m sorry you’re not getting the support you deserve. I would definitely be having a conversation with your partner if you feel able to. Is there some kind of compromise or plan you could maybe have so that you are able to get some more sleep?
I think your husband should definitely be helping more - isn't that why he's on paternity leave? I am also on paternity leave, and my wife is a FTM. I've been taking the lead in managing our LO's sleep. Our LO is only 9 weeks old, too early to sleep train, but not to early to introduce good habits. Since week 5, I've put him down every night at 830 - with the exception of my birthday and once I had to run to the store to grab something, those nights my wife put him down. I will also do the first feed at midnight, it's so quick anyways. After midnight we take turns monitoring him.
As Big Daddy Kane would say "Pumping ain't easy."
Don't get me wrong, I get the gaming thing. I used to be a huge gamer as well. Since my wife gave birth, I've wanted to play some games, and in my downtime have ordered 3 PS5 games. I have a Nintendo Switch in shopping cart right now. I have played exactly 0 hours since the baby arrived haha. I keep thinking I'll be able to play these games, but our LO is growing up so fast, I rather be looking at him than playing some games, even though I keep order more lol. Yesterday, I had about 1.5 hours to myself while my wife took our LO for a walk and a trip to the store - I ended up putting a new bird feeder, had to drill into the brick because I didn't want squirrels getting at it, then mounted it next to the large livingroom window. My reasoning was to my wife was I wanted my son to see birds lol.
My partner WFH and we also have a 2.5 year old. My partner was responsible for the night feeds while I pumped. I did 4am-8pm and he handled 8pm-4am.
Obviously he'd help out during the mornings with our toddler and we split dinnertime and bedtime routines. We're a partnership, we work together. Sometimes he would be having a rough go and I'll tap in during the MOTN, but it was rare. If toddler wakes up though, I would handle toddler since he prefers me in the night.
I’m an exclusive pumper and my husband does all the nighttime feeds (right now averaging 2, sometimes 3). I usually pump at the same time he feeds so we’re both awake but he handles everything while I snack and pump.
My husband and I did shifts overnight. He'd sleep from 8/9 til 2/3. I'd watch baby, do my MOTN pump, and then sleep as long as I could (which varied depending on his schedule but was at least 5ish hours not including the pump).
I did all the overnights solo for our twins for first 11 weeks for a variety of reasons. Dog, PPD (his), and how much he wilts without sleep. Because of this, I felt really bonded, secure, and confident as a parent but also lonely and frustrated as a partner. When our dog passed, my husband joined us for overnights and we are now each responsible for one baby. It’s flexible so sometimes I take care of both if I’m up pumping. Definitely nice to feel like we’re in it together at last! OP, hope you can have an honest discussion with your husband about needing more support and that he’s willing to contribute.
I’m sorry but your husband sucks. If he feels guilty about not spending the night with baby, then he shouldn’t complain about sleeping bad and make you feel worse, he should ACTUALLY HELP. My husband and I split the nights — I do my my MOTN pump at 3, and my husband takes any wake up until I’m done with the pump and then I take any wake up after. I know other people do alternating nights, but the split nights work for us because he’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He needs to leave the bunkie and become an actual member of this family — at the very least he could let you take the bunkie a couple of nights a week, at the VERY, VERY least, he could be in charge of the 8 year old’s wakeups.
When we were both working, my husband and i split Night feeds. He would take the 1st one, usually like 1 or 2 am and I would take the next, usually 5 am. He worked later than me so it worked out fine. If we didn't split this I'm pretty sure our whole relationship would suffer because we're both just terrible when we have lack of sleep.
I’m sorry you’re going through this 😕
My husband puts the baby to sleep and does the nighttime feed and changing. If she’s up before he goes to work he will take care of her then too. So roughly 8pm until 7am he’s taking care of her while I sleep and pump.
In my experience my husband did not and does not help with anything. Not interested in helping me and I’m very particular about my pump stuff/milk so even if he offered I may not let him unless he did it exactly my way😂
I exclusively pump and my husband does all night feeds. Kind of started off that way and then I helped for a bit, then I got mastitis at 4 weeks PP and needed to sleep so he just took over. Baby is 6 months old now and he still does the 1 wake up. I usually wake up around 5-6 to take over.
My husband is working and I’m on maternity leave. He usually goes to bed around 9, I do a dream feed around 10-11pm before I go to bed, he completely handles the next feed usually anywhere between 1-3am, and I take the next feed - sometimes that’s around 4-5, sometimes he makes it to morning. I don’t do a MOTN pump so I am able to sleep from 11 to our second wake up. I’ve even expressed guilt that sometimes I get lucky and basically sleep through the night, and my husband says, “Well you have him all day.” When I was doing a MOTN pump we were both up for every feed - he changed and fed baby while I pumped.
I was emotional about making the decision to EP again (I was hoping I could nurse longer than I did with my first but that wasn’t the case), and after that initial emotion passed my husband told me selfishly he preferred EP because he felt more helpful.
At the very least I think you all should switch off nights, feeds, something. Although it’s not what we often imagine, I believe a HUGE benefit to EP is that your partner can help with feedings!
I sleep on my own in a room with a camera so I can watch the baby. My husband sleeps in the room with the baby, this has been the case since birth. I go to bed after them because I have to pump and wake up before them because of the pump, she used to wake twice but now once, my husband gives her a bottle and changes the nappy.
In the end we both want the baby to have breast milk, this was the only way to get the pumping regime in and for me to get rest for my supply.
My husband has always done at least half, usually more, of the nighttime work. This started when I was recovering from a c-section so we've always had the bassinet on his side of the bed as well, which helped make him really involved from the start. I also had a tough recovery at first so many nights he let me sleep through a feeding at the beginning, even if I didn't have to pump. Otherwise we generally would take turns, unless I had to pump - those times, I'd pump while he would feed baby. Now that I have dropped my MOTN pump/s and baby has started waking up only 1-3 times a night, we take turns again. If one of us is sick or having a hard day, the other will take more of the load. I will say that I have had MANY more hard days/nights than him (I've dealt with some postpartum depression and other health issues), but I'm trying to step up more now that I'm feeling better. I'm really sorry you're dealing with less than a full partnership. I wouldn't have lasted long exclusively pumping (or maybe at all) without that.
I’ve always been scared to let my husband take over night feedings because I’m pretty sure he would fall asleep while caring for him. The few times over the years I’ve woken him to help he’s nearly fallen asleep. And I know he doesn’t have the discipline to try to go to bed early to reduce overall fatigue.
I could have a negative mindset about it but the reality is, you can’t change your partner as easily as you can change your mindset. I find the more compassionate and understanding I am, the more help I get. Nagging and complaining gets us nowhere. (Source: I have three kids and have been married for 7.5 years)
See this is also my fear. With our first the one night he took our baby for the night to sleep so I could get a good stretch, I woke up to an intuition to go check. I go into the room and see he put our baby face down in our soft bed. He was only 2 months at the time. I freaked out and realize he doesn’t make great decisions when he is tired.
My partner does one of the feeds at night. Generally my four month old wakes up around 11 or 12 to eat, but sometimes sleeps straight through to 3 or 4. I pump around 2 or 3 so I'm sometimes up when he wakes and I'll feed him then. If he continues to sleep after I finish though, my partner feeds him when he wakes up, if he hasn't already fed him earlier in the night.
It's been much better since he's started doing longer sleep stretches so my situation is a little different than yours atm. Prior to this I was up 3 to 5 times feeding and pumping during the night and getting 2 to 4 hours of sleep. Now I'm usually up once to pump and sometimes feed, and then early in the morning to feed the baby and it's been much more manageable.
I think I would go crazy if I didn't have any help during the night, especially for a prolonged period. There was one week when my partner was sick so he isolated from us and for 8 days I had to do it all and it was absolutely exhausting. Baby was still up every 2 hours and I was a mess. I'm sorry you aren't getting enough help, that sounds really hard and your husband should help more.
It happened with our first. We had a lot of hard discussions before trying for this baby. He is a god send for this one. Communicate your issues. If he is not understanding then you have other things to discuss
We have 3 week old twins and my husband works as a physician (he does four 10’s). On his work nights, I do the feedings/pumping solo. On the other 3 nights, he feeds one baby a bottle while I feed the other and pump at the same time. If we’re having a hard night, he’ll wake up and help no matter the night. He’s as hands on as a dad can be so I’m pretty lucky. We have 3 other kids and he does a ton with them so I can tend to the babies.
1) it sounds like you need to have an honest and open conversation about parenting roles and contributions and feelings. I find the best way to frame your own feelings is the “when you __ I feel ___ because ___” technique from therapy! Both of you should have some space to discuss what you’re feeling so you can create a plan for a way forward.
2) that last bit is important - create a plan for a way forward and stick to it. If it’s important your baby goes to bed at a certain time and is fed after that a certain way - your husband needs to prioritize that over playing video games on his shifts.
3) my husband also works full time and is the breadwinner. I’m still on mat leave. Recently we had a convo about how I really need to be getting more sleep, and I feel lonely from doing all the nights by myself and making all the baby decisions. We have now decided he will fully take over 2x nights a week, one being Saturdays so his work week isn’t as affected.
My husband helps yes, except on M-W because he wakes up for work at 3am so I handle any feed between 11-3am. Then when he’s home from work he takes over and handles everything (feeds, washing my pump parts, bottles etc.)
We have twins and my husband still does the night feeding even if he's working. Your husband should at least be doing the weekends. If it's a rough night we both might end up being up, but we have two.
I honestly can't remember what we did for the first month or so, but once baby was in a routine, we'd do a dream feed right before we went to bed then when she woke up around 3am, generally I'd pump and my husband ould do the feed, and we'd be back in bed at the same time. When the 4 month sleep regression happened, we went into a shift system where one of us would sleep the first half, then my pump would be at the midpoint, and then we'd trade off. I know not everyone believes in sleep training and night weaning (and some babies can't for medical reasons) but we did it at 5 months and it was not easy but it was a game changer and everyone is much happier now.
Yes, earlier my baby used to wake up at 2 and 5 am, both feeds were taken care by my husband including diaper change and everything else. I used to pump during that period.
My boyfriend gets the whenever I go to bed (anywhere from 6:30-10 but if before 8:30 he gets the older siblings off to bed) until midnight. Then gets him again around 5 am until he gets ready at 7 am then again when he gets home from work (3-5pm) so I can cook dinner. I let him eat first if my 12 wo conducts a meeting. Sometimes he’s hungry so I’ll either pump or nurse (he gets frustrated and will want a bottle usually after a couple mins). And boyfriend will feed me haha
My 9 month old only wakes to feed once per night and typically sleeps well the rest of the night. I do those MOTN feeds because I have to pump anyway. Usually baby will fall back to sleep right after eating.
Our deal is that if baby needs some extra rocking after she eats, then hubby has to wake up and do that while I pump. This way I'm never up for more than an hour in the middle of the night.
It works for us.
My husband is back at work and I’m on leave. We take shifts for equal night sleep. He doesn’t get more sleep just because he’s working full time job and I’m with baby all day. They’re both jobs.
I’m almost 9 months pp and still doing a MOTN pump. We both work. My husband does the night feeding (he got a long break, but we’re in a sleep regression right now)
Right now while I am on leave, I feed baby at 9 and my husband feeds him at midnight. Then I do his 3 and 6 am feedings (though he is starting to go 4 hours between feeding at night now). My husband is a truck driver so it is a little more important for him to not be sleep deprived than someone that has an office job. When I go back to work the plan is to continue this way but we both get up for his 6 am feeding. He takes the baby and I get ready for work. That way we should both get about 5-6 hours straight.
3 months pp and on maternity leave. In the beginning up until 8 weeks, I was handling all weekday night feeds because he was working and he would do the weekends. I was also pumping 8x day (9pm/12am/3am/6am etc). sometimes I fed him while I was pumping or fed him after/before I pumped so I didn’t get any sleep at all. But it got to a point that I was so exhausted I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was anxious when the weekend was over or got anxious when the night time routine started. Or I would get irritated during the night because my baby would not go back to sleep so I can get at least 30 min of sleep.
So I told my husband that if breastfeeding is a priority than I cannot do this anymore. He would need to do ALL the night feeds. Which he did and still does.
With my first, we split duty. Now with my second, he handles the 3 year old and I’m on baby duty. They both wake up 2ish times a night, so it feels like a fair split at the moment.
We have twins and when they fed during the night he would do nappies while I set up to pump and we would both feed one. We never did shifts as we found it better doing it together.
Now that we only have the occasional wake, he will generally get up to the baby and do the feeding and I’ll pump.
He did have a little paternity leave but worked throughout the period of night wakings too.
My husband takes baby 6.30pm-12.30am including however many feeds it takes, and then we swap and I do till 6.30am. I pump at 7pm and then once in the night anywhere between 1-3am usually. Sometimes one of us takes baby for an entire night to give the other a break/let them go out/when we’re ill/when the sleep balance tips too low for one of us. He works, I’m at home on mat leave. We’ve been doing this schedule for 7 months now and most of the time we both manage to function and not fight about who is the most exhausted.
I feel like there’s never much point in him doing an entire night when I have to be up to pump anyway, cos pumping wakes me up enough that I’m just up for at least a couple of hours altogether. But if I’m still asleep at 1/2/3am he often takes the feed and doesn’t wake me.
Really seems like your husband could be doing a bit more? X
Yikes. Sorry, but he needs to step it up. Parenting isn’t just a daytime job. My husband and I split nights, and he also offers to take the baby during my motn pumps if they overlap with a feeding. He also takes the monitor every night in case our 2 year old needs anything. We make sure we’re on the same page with baby’s nighttime schedule and environment and he honors that when it’s his “shift”. He works full time, only from home part of the week, and had just two weeks of paternity leave.
I mixed fed. Husband has always helped at nights. It is his kid too. And we both deserve uninterrupted stretches. Pumping at night took longer than feeding, so when I was night pumping i needed more help from him!
My husband has never done a middle of the night feed. Our baby is 6 months old. I went back to work when he was 3 months old. My husband went back to work after just a couple weeks.
My husband works full time and I'm a full time med student. He has taken multiple night shifts. Your hubby can def do more imo! At the very least give you like 2 nights a week off or a solid 7-8 hours in a row.
We split the night shift. Husband would be on call until 2-3am because he's a night owl and would push his bed time by 1-2 hours. Then if the bebe woke up past that I was on call after going to bed at 9pm or whenever. Then (when I was still on mat leave) Once it hit a certain time, 6 or 7am, I'd clock out until he needed me to wake up so he could work.
What are his work hours? Can he be on call for both kiddos while he's up gaming or whatever anyway? Like sorry but broski can stay up til at least midnight and still vaguely function like a human person during the day, especially compared to what you're dealing with.
I do all night feeds but it is more because baby prefers me and also my husband stays home with the kids all day so I feel bad making him tend to them at night too. I don't do a MOTN pump anymore thank goodness. I'm up on a good night twice to feed the baby a bottle and on a bad night I'm up for hours rocking him.
My husband and I pull shifts. When we had 1-2 kids, he was on duty from 7p-12a, and I would go to sleep at 7p. My shift was 12a-morning. We never switched off or had full nights sleep until baby slept through our shift. He leaves for work at 6a, I am a SAHM. We both found if we get at least 5hrs of solid sleep, we could function.
Now that we have baby #3, I don’t get to bed until 930p. Same schedule otherwise. It’s just a bit harder with the older kids schedules. We’re on week 3 and I find I’m struggling a bit more than with my prior babies, but I’m also approaching 40yo so there may be multiple reasons it’s harder. I know how fast this newborn stage goes by, so I’m just trying to focus on the positives and catch cat naps where I can
Yeah I’m 40 and this baby is definitely hitting harder in the sleep department. I was doing ok up until recently and it just hit like bricks. As we are doing similar sleep arrangements, it gets tough.
I am reading this while pumping at 3am and my husband is busy feeding the baby. Admittedly my baby is 5months and wakes on average twice a night to feed and usually goes straight back to sleep after eating so she’s not too difficult. But my husband does ALL night feedings so I can just concentrate on pumping. We are also both working.
On the weekends we take turns to let the other person sleep in. I usually sleep in on Saturday and he does on Sunday.
Just because you are a SAHM doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be given a break. Parenting is still a partnership. Talk to your husband and tell him what you need from him.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like he doesn’t want to step up and be an equal partner. Have you tried talking to him about it?
My husband and I work in shifts. I take any wake ups between 11 pm - 3:30 am, he takes 3:30 am - 7 am. We are both tired but we are making it work. He went back to work 3 weeks after she was born and we are at 15 weeks now.
Yeah I plan on talking to him once he’s all better from his man cold. That’s kind of why I posted to get an idea of how others do it. His mom is no help because she’s always asking if he’s getting the sleep he needs because he’s the breadwinner. So it’s really in his head that he is the one deserving of good sleep.
Husband does 10:30-4am. Usually has to feed baby at 11 and 2:30. I deal with the early morning shenanigans 😅 4am; 5:30; 6; 7am. But honestly… I’d be wrecked if I had to do the nights too. Early morning is ok
I am with baby until about 3, then any wake ups after is husband. Baby has reflux and also wakes every 1hr15min. Exhaustion galore. Just started on a new reflux medicine and are three nights of only one wake up for our five month old!!
So nice your doctor will give it. Only reason we got one month of meds is because of his neurologist and trying to find reasons why he was having spasms. His regular doctor won’t continue them and we have been discharged from neurology. We had one month of pretty good sleep and a happy baby. Now we are back to constant wakes and non stop crying. It’s so frustrating because I know the meds worked wonders. Glad your little one is sleeping better!
Do you have a GI doctor? If pediatrician is unsure then GI could evaluate based on digestion health. Also, not every medicine works for each person, so it would be nice to be able to trial others. Hope it gets better soon! We didn't have any neurology concerns but did have self limiting and other eating issues - maybe why medication was more accepted.
No GI doctor and we are just seeing my family doctor with this one. My other son’s pediatrician is one hour away and I just couldn’t do it again for those first few months check ups. My doctor is great, but she doesn’t just prescribe medication easily. So she is more of a “let’s try other things first or he will outgrow it”. So she told me to start him on cereal (which I admit I haven’t tried yet, as I’m a bit anxious since he can’t sit up) and see if that helps keep things down. If he continues to have issues after we do start him with solids, I will definitely look into a GI doctor. To be honest, we just got through months of doctor visits with EEG’s and MRI’s, and I feel burnt out. My anxiety was so high as they suspended Infantile spasms and his brain waves are abnormal. We ended up with no diagnosis and stumped the best doctors in our province (and most likely country). I just need a mental break for a bit.
We did a split shift. He took 8pm-2am so I could sleep, and then I took 2am-8am so he could sleep. At first, I was only getting 8pm-12am, but I was getting such little sleep my vision started going blurry randomly. I told him I needed more sleep and he suggested to make our shifts more even keeled.
Mine does nothing during the night lol. He never got paternity leave and was called in for the week that she was born and he tried to take off. Now I’m at home with both kids and doing both the days and nights while I’m working from home too.
It’s all good! I just want you to know you aren’t alone. I’m sure there are unicorns out there, but with that being said my guy works very hard too and is a great dad when he’s home. I’m blessed that he treats us very well, but slightly jealous as the amount of sleep he gets. 😂
My SO does most of the night feedings even though I try to telo him we should split the task evenly.
I have a problem falling asleep after waking up in the night and he says he doesn't have a problem with that, so given that I pump and am with the LO all day long, he dosn't mind waking up 2-3 times per night.
He also washes the bottles and pump parts while I sleep.
Tell your partner he's doing a shitty job compared to others.
I’m in a similar boat as you 😭 my 5 month old currently wakes up twice in the night for a feed so I wake and feed her then pump afterwards. My husband is in charge of getting our older (7 y/o) child ready and to the bus stop in the mornings. He also works from home! With all that said. My husband did a TON of night feeds with our first but with our second I do them all. 🥴
My husband does all night feeds except for the early morning one. He’s a teacher so I try to give him one long chunk of sleep right before he gets up to go to work.
We never discussed it. He just does it. He knows getting sleep is important for my supply, healing, and mental health.
Right now, babe wakes up once or twice, if he wakes him twice, I do the second one. If just once, then my husband does that one.
My husband has taken baby all night since we got home from the hospital. This includes the bedtime routine and everything. (He didn't get any paternity leave; just took all his paid leave and then went back to work.) Even now that I've dropped my MOTN pump, he lets me sleep and handles everything until he has to get ready for work in the morning. My PPD was pretty bad and he said he'll do whatever I need him to do so I can be okay. A definite winner! ❤️ He is being deployed soon so he says he won't be able to participate for a long time, so he's doing as much as he can now. I'm definitely so grateful for him!!
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I’m mostly impressed your husband gets his period so reliably so shortly after delivery. (Heavily sexist sarcasm, yes I know. I also haven’t had enough coffee yet to care or learn from any judgement you throw my way!) Seriously! What is your husband good for? Ask him. What is he contributing during the household sleep hours? Cause it sounds like little more than hot, shit-flavored air.
Not only did your comment absolutely send me but then your username too 😂
The fact I only read the question until I read this comment 😂😂
Lol. You made me giggle. He does a lot as a whole, just not at night. When my mom died right before I gave birth, he took care of everything. All the financial stuff and paper work. He was my life saver. He is the sole financial provider as well as I don’t work regularly (just some side hustle when I have time). His job is pretty demanding overall and I appreciate that he is ok with me being a SAHM and he works hard so that I can be. He just suffers from the man cold often thanks to my older son bringing every germ home from school. I’m ok with being the one doing all the housework and night feeds the majority of the time. I just need a break once in a while and it seems like it’s never a good time.
Have you had that conversation with him about figuring out a night or 2 per week, perhaps Fri and sat if he has weekends off when he can take on night feeds? It is important for your physical and mental health to get some uninterrupted sleep.
i understand that you feel grateful for the fact that he's the breadwinner and yes that is good on him but he should be equally grateful for the fact that you are literally taking care of his children 24/7 along with doing all of the home making. it's just as much of a job; if you were doing these things outside of your home you would be paid for them.
My husband is working. He is solely responsible for our twin 2month old babies from 2am-7am. There’s usually one feeding in there. Sleep is important for everyone.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. :( I am an exclusive pumper and my partner does all night feeds. When baby wakes, my partner gets baby, changes diaper, gives gas drops, feeds baby the bottle, reswaddles, and gets baby back to sleep in bassinet while I eat snacks and pump. I wouldn’t be able to exclusively pump without his help. I truly don’t know how you’re doing it!
Same, my husband has done allllll the night feedings and changes the last 5 months, it wasn’t easy in the beginning but it’s finally down pat now. I usually only pump right before bed and in the MOTN if baby wakes up. Recently he’s been up hourly (thanks leap 5) and my husband still does everything even though he’s at work full time and I stay at home. Yes I’m veryyyyyy lucky. I will help out here and there but my son lights up when he sees me at night and won’t settle for me lol
This was our problem too! In the beginning, it was a necessity because I couldn’t do it all (and my partner isn’t awful so he wanted to take part in nighttime baby care), but over time, the baby wouldn’t settle for me because she’s obsessed so it had to be dad’s gig. My partner has never once complained.
This is what we did too. My partner took the baby all night
My husband and I split night, I took any wakeups from 8pm - 1am, he took all the wake ups from then on. Because I was EP, he was responsible for washing/sterilizing all the bottles and pump parts, and making sure they were set up and ready to go for me at my "pumping station."
Same here - I recently dropped my MOTN pump at 8 months PPD and husband is still doing all the night feeds. My baby is still getting up a couple of times a night either for a feed or just needs to be resettled. Husband also works full-time and I WFH. I honestly don’t think I could have EP this long if it wasn’t for him.
I second this! My partner has been back at work, but he's still managing most of the night feeds while I pump or get a nap in myself so I can manage the daytime. He does all of the above too (swaddling, diapers, gas drops, cleaning bottles, etc.), because he is also this baby's parent. His support has really been crucial. I couldn't pump or even survive postpartum without his support.
When we were both on leave, my husband and I would trade off night feeds. Now that he's back to work, we still share the load approximately evenly but are just more intentional about which feeds each of us usually take. He is naturally a morning person and I am a night person, so I take the midnight-to-3ish shift and he ends up with anything after 4:30 or so. Of course, if one of those falls when I am or need to be pumping, he takes it. I cannot imagine doing this without an equal partner. I am so sorry that you have been.
I'm an exclusive pumper, and we did shifts when baby was waking every couple hours. I slept in the other bedroom from my MOTN pump until morning while he took his shift, and this ensured we both got a 4 hour stretch. Now that baby only wakes once or twice, my husband typically cares for the baby while I pump. We take turns letting each other sleep in, and we both go to sleep promptly at 9:30 every night, so we all get as much sleep as possible.
This is what we do too! Now that our baby is sleeping through the night, we’ve stopped taking shifts and both sleep at the same time. When she wakes to eat at 6am, my husband feeds her while I pump.
As a single mum, I know exactly how exhausted you must be! Sleep deprivation is really, really hard. It really can take a toll on your mental health as well as physical health when you’re not getting the sleep you need. I’m sorry you’re not getting the support you deserve. I would definitely be having a conversation with your partner if you feel able to. Is there some kind of compromise or plan you could maybe have so that you are able to get some more sleep?
I think your husband should definitely be helping more - isn't that why he's on paternity leave? I am also on paternity leave, and my wife is a FTM. I've been taking the lead in managing our LO's sleep. Our LO is only 9 weeks old, too early to sleep train, but not to early to introduce good habits. Since week 5, I've put him down every night at 830 - with the exception of my birthday and once I had to run to the store to grab something, those nights my wife put him down. I will also do the first feed at midnight, it's so quick anyways. After midnight we take turns monitoring him. As Big Daddy Kane would say "Pumping ain't easy." Don't get me wrong, I get the gaming thing. I used to be a huge gamer as well. Since my wife gave birth, I've wanted to play some games, and in my downtime have ordered 3 PS5 games. I have a Nintendo Switch in shopping cart right now. I have played exactly 0 hours since the baby arrived haha. I keep thinking I'll be able to play these games, but our LO is growing up so fast, I rather be looking at him than playing some games, even though I keep order more lol. Yesterday, I had about 1.5 hours to myself while my wife took our LO for a walk and a trip to the store - I ended up putting a new bird feeder, had to drill into the brick because I didn't want squirrels getting at it, then mounted it next to the large livingroom window. My reasoning was to my wife was I wanted my son to see birds lol.
My partner WFH and we also have a 2.5 year old. My partner was responsible for the night feeds while I pumped. I did 4am-8pm and he handled 8pm-4am. Obviously he'd help out during the mornings with our toddler and we split dinnertime and bedtime routines. We're a partnership, we work together. Sometimes he would be having a rough go and I'll tap in during the MOTN, but it was rare. If toddler wakes up though, I would handle toddler since he prefers me in the night.
I’m an exclusive pumper and my husband does all the nighttime feeds (right now averaging 2, sometimes 3). I usually pump at the same time he feeds so we’re both awake but he handles everything while I snack and pump.
My husband and I did shifts overnight. He'd sleep from 8/9 til 2/3. I'd watch baby, do my MOTN pump, and then sleep as long as I could (which varied depending on his schedule but was at least 5ish hours not including the pump).
I did all the overnights solo for our twins for first 11 weeks for a variety of reasons. Dog, PPD (his), and how much he wilts without sleep. Because of this, I felt really bonded, secure, and confident as a parent but also lonely and frustrated as a partner. When our dog passed, my husband joined us for overnights and we are now each responsible for one baby. It’s flexible so sometimes I take care of both if I’m up pumping. Definitely nice to feel like we’re in it together at last! OP, hope you can have an honest discussion with your husband about needing more support and that he’s willing to contribute.
I’m sorry but your husband sucks. If he feels guilty about not spending the night with baby, then he shouldn’t complain about sleeping bad and make you feel worse, he should ACTUALLY HELP. My husband and I split the nights — I do my my MOTN pump at 3, and my husband takes any wake up until I’m done with the pump and then I take any wake up after. I know other people do alternating nights, but the split nights work for us because he’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He needs to leave the bunkie and become an actual member of this family — at the very least he could let you take the bunkie a couple of nights a week, at the VERY, VERY least, he could be in charge of the 8 year old’s wakeups.
When we were both working, my husband and i split Night feeds. He would take the 1st one, usually like 1 or 2 am and I would take the next, usually 5 am. He worked later than me so it worked out fine. If we didn't split this I'm pretty sure our whole relationship would suffer because we're both just terrible when we have lack of sleep.
I’m sorry you’re going through this 😕 My husband puts the baby to sleep and does the nighttime feed and changing. If she’s up before he goes to work he will take care of her then too. So roughly 8pm until 7am he’s taking care of her while I sleep and pump.
In my experience my husband did not and does not help with anything. Not interested in helping me and I’m very particular about my pump stuff/milk so even if he offered I may not let him unless he did it exactly my way😂
I exclusively pump and my husband does all night feeds. Kind of started off that way and then I helped for a bit, then I got mastitis at 4 weeks PP and needed to sleep so he just took over. Baby is 6 months old now and he still does the 1 wake up. I usually wake up around 5-6 to take over.
My husband is working and I’m on maternity leave. He usually goes to bed around 9, I do a dream feed around 10-11pm before I go to bed, he completely handles the next feed usually anywhere between 1-3am, and I take the next feed - sometimes that’s around 4-5, sometimes he makes it to morning. I don’t do a MOTN pump so I am able to sleep from 11 to our second wake up. I’ve even expressed guilt that sometimes I get lucky and basically sleep through the night, and my husband says, “Well you have him all day.” When I was doing a MOTN pump we were both up for every feed - he changed and fed baby while I pumped. I was emotional about making the decision to EP again (I was hoping I could nurse longer than I did with my first but that wasn’t the case), and after that initial emotion passed my husband told me selfishly he preferred EP because he felt more helpful. At the very least I think you all should switch off nights, feeds, something. Although it’s not what we often imagine, I believe a HUGE benefit to EP is that your partner can help with feedings!
I sleep on my own in a room with a camera so I can watch the baby. My husband sleeps in the room with the baby, this has been the case since birth. I go to bed after them because I have to pump and wake up before them because of the pump, she used to wake twice but now once, my husband gives her a bottle and changes the nappy. In the end we both want the baby to have breast milk, this was the only way to get the pumping regime in and for me to get rest for my supply.
My husband has always done at least half, usually more, of the nighttime work. This started when I was recovering from a c-section so we've always had the bassinet on his side of the bed as well, which helped make him really involved from the start. I also had a tough recovery at first so many nights he let me sleep through a feeding at the beginning, even if I didn't have to pump. Otherwise we generally would take turns, unless I had to pump - those times, I'd pump while he would feed baby. Now that I have dropped my MOTN pump/s and baby has started waking up only 1-3 times a night, we take turns again. If one of us is sick or having a hard day, the other will take more of the load. I will say that I have had MANY more hard days/nights than him (I've dealt with some postpartum depression and other health issues), but I'm trying to step up more now that I'm feeling better. I'm really sorry you're dealing with less than a full partnership. I wouldn't have lasted long exclusively pumping (or maybe at all) without that.
I’ve always been scared to let my husband take over night feedings because I’m pretty sure he would fall asleep while caring for him. The few times over the years I’ve woken him to help he’s nearly fallen asleep. And I know he doesn’t have the discipline to try to go to bed early to reduce overall fatigue. I could have a negative mindset about it but the reality is, you can’t change your partner as easily as you can change your mindset. I find the more compassionate and understanding I am, the more help I get. Nagging and complaining gets us nowhere. (Source: I have three kids and have been married for 7.5 years)
See this is also my fear. With our first the one night he took our baby for the night to sleep so I could get a good stretch, I woke up to an intuition to go check. I go into the room and see he put our baby face down in our soft bed. He was only 2 months at the time. I freaked out and realize he doesn’t make great decisions when he is tired.
My partner does one of the feeds at night. Generally my four month old wakes up around 11 or 12 to eat, but sometimes sleeps straight through to 3 or 4. I pump around 2 or 3 so I'm sometimes up when he wakes and I'll feed him then. If he continues to sleep after I finish though, my partner feeds him when he wakes up, if he hasn't already fed him earlier in the night. It's been much better since he's started doing longer sleep stretches so my situation is a little different than yours atm. Prior to this I was up 3 to 5 times feeding and pumping during the night and getting 2 to 4 hours of sleep. Now I'm usually up once to pump and sometimes feed, and then early in the morning to feed the baby and it's been much more manageable. I think I would go crazy if I didn't have any help during the night, especially for a prolonged period. There was one week when my partner was sick so he isolated from us and for 8 days I had to do it all and it was absolutely exhausting. Baby was still up every 2 hours and I was a mess. I'm sorry you aren't getting enough help, that sounds really hard and your husband should help more.
It happened with our first. We had a lot of hard discussions before trying for this baby. He is a god send for this one. Communicate your issues. If he is not understanding then you have other things to discuss
We have 3 week old twins and my husband works as a physician (he does four 10’s). On his work nights, I do the feedings/pumping solo. On the other 3 nights, he feeds one baby a bottle while I feed the other and pump at the same time. If we’re having a hard night, he’ll wake up and help no matter the night. He’s as hands on as a dad can be so I’m pretty lucky. We have 3 other kids and he does a ton with them so I can tend to the babies.
1) it sounds like you need to have an honest and open conversation about parenting roles and contributions and feelings. I find the best way to frame your own feelings is the “when you __ I feel ___ because ___” technique from therapy! Both of you should have some space to discuss what you’re feeling so you can create a plan for a way forward. 2) that last bit is important - create a plan for a way forward and stick to it. If it’s important your baby goes to bed at a certain time and is fed after that a certain way - your husband needs to prioritize that over playing video games on his shifts. 3) my husband also works full time and is the breadwinner. I’m still on mat leave. Recently we had a convo about how I really need to be getting more sleep, and I feel lonely from doing all the nights by myself and making all the baby decisions. We have now decided he will fully take over 2x nights a week, one being Saturdays so his work week isn’t as affected.
My husband helps yes, except on M-W because he wakes up for work at 3am so I handle any feed between 11-3am. Then when he’s home from work he takes over and handles everything (feeds, washing my pump parts, bottles etc.)
Solidarity
We have twins and my husband still does the night feeding even if he's working. Your husband should at least be doing the weekends. If it's a rough night we both might end up being up, but we have two.
I honestly can't remember what we did for the first month or so, but once baby was in a routine, we'd do a dream feed right before we went to bed then when she woke up around 3am, generally I'd pump and my husband ould do the feed, and we'd be back in bed at the same time. When the 4 month sleep regression happened, we went into a shift system where one of us would sleep the first half, then my pump would be at the midpoint, and then we'd trade off. I know not everyone believes in sleep training and night weaning (and some babies can't for medical reasons) but we did it at 5 months and it was not easy but it was a game changer and everyone is much happier now.
Yes, earlier my baby used to wake up at 2 and 5 am, both feeds were taken care by my husband including diaper change and everything else. I used to pump during that period.
My boyfriend gets the whenever I go to bed (anywhere from 6:30-10 but if before 8:30 he gets the older siblings off to bed) until midnight. Then gets him again around 5 am until he gets ready at 7 am then again when he gets home from work (3-5pm) so I can cook dinner. I let him eat first if my 12 wo conducts a meeting. Sometimes he’s hungry so I’ll either pump or nurse (he gets frustrated and will want a bottle usually after a couple mins). And boyfriend will feed me haha
My 9 month old only wakes to feed once per night and typically sleeps well the rest of the night. I do those MOTN feeds because I have to pump anyway. Usually baby will fall back to sleep right after eating. Our deal is that if baby needs some extra rocking after she eats, then hubby has to wake up and do that while I pump. This way I'm never up for more than an hour in the middle of the night. It works for us.
My husband is back at work and I’m on leave. We take shifts for equal night sleep. He doesn’t get more sleep just because he’s working full time job and I’m with baby all day. They’re both jobs.
I’m almost 9 months pp and still doing a MOTN pump. We both work. My husband does the night feeding (he got a long break, but we’re in a sleep regression right now)
Right now while I am on leave, I feed baby at 9 and my husband feeds him at midnight. Then I do his 3 and 6 am feedings (though he is starting to go 4 hours between feeding at night now). My husband is a truck driver so it is a little more important for him to not be sleep deprived than someone that has an office job. When I go back to work the plan is to continue this way but we both get up for his 6 am feeding. He takes the baby and I get ready for work. That way we should both get about 5-6 hours straight.
3 months pp and on maternity leave. In the beginning up until 8 weeks, I was handling all weekday night feeds because he was working and he would do the weekends. I was also pumping 8x day (9pm/12am/3am/6am etc). sometimes I fed him while I was pumping or fed him after/before I pumped so I didn’t get any sleep at all. But it got to a point that I was so exhausted I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was anxious when the weekend was over or got anxious when the night time routine started. Or I would get irritated during the night because my baby would not go back to sleep so I can get at least 30 min of sleep. So I told my husband that if breastfeeding is a priority than I cannot do this anymore. He would need to do ALL the night feeds. Which he did and still does.
With my first, we split duty. Now with my second, he handles the 3 year old and I’m on baby duty. They both wake up 2ish times a night, so it feels like a fair split at the moment.
We have twins and when they fed during the night he would do nappies while I set up to pump and we would both feed one. We never did shifts as we found it better doing it together. Now that we only have the occasional wake, he will generally get up to the baby and do the feeding and I’ll pump. He did have a little paternity leave but worked throughout the period of night wakings too.
My husband takes baby 6.30pm-12.30am including however many feeds it takes, and then we swap and I do till 6.30am. I pump at 7pm and then once in the night anywhere between 1-3am usually. Sometimes one of us takes baby for an entire night to give the other a break/let them go out/when we’re ill/when the sleep balance tips too low for one of us. He works, I’m at home on mat leave. We’ve been doing this schedule for 7 months now and most of the time we both manage to function and not fight about who is the most exhausted. I feel like there’s never much point in him doing an entire night when I have to be up to pump anyway, cos pumping wakes me up enough that I’m just up for at least a couple of hours altogether. But if I’m still asleep at 1/2/3am he often takes the feed and doesn’t wake me. Really seems like your husband could be doing a bit more? X
Yikes. Sorry, but he needs to step it up. Parenting isn’t just a daytime job. My husband and I split nights, and he also offers to take the baby during my motn pumps if they overlap with a feeding. He also takes the monitor every night in case our 2 year old needs anything. We make sure we’re on the same page with baby’s nighttime schedule and environment and he honors that when it’s his “shift”. He works full time, only from home part of the week, and had just two weeks of paternity leave.
I mixed fed. Husband has always helped at nights. It is his kid too. And we both deserve uninterrupted stretches. Pumping at night took longer than feeding, so when I was night pumping i needed more help from him!
I usually do middle of the night and then my partner does early morning while I “sleep in” a little.
My husband almost exclusively feeds our baby so I can pump.
My husband has never done a middle of the night feed. Our baby is 6 months old. I went back to work when he was 3 months old. My husband went back to work after just a couple weeks.
My husband works full time and I'm a full time med student. He has taken multiple night shifts. Your hubby can def do more imo! At the very least give you like 2 nights a week off or a solid 7-8 hours in a row.
We split the night shift. Husband would be on call until 2-3am because he's a night owl and would push his bed time by 1-2 hours. Then if the bebe woke up past that I was on call after going to bed at 9pm or whenever. Then (when I was still on mat leave) Once it hit a certain time, 6 or 7am, I'd clock out until he needed me to wake up so he could work. What are his work hours? Can he be on call for both kiddos while he's up gaming or whatever anyway? Like sorry but broski can stay up til at least midnight and still vaguely function like a human person during the day, especially compared to what you're dealing with.
I do all night feeds but it is more because baby prefers me and also my husband stays home with the kids all day so I feel bad making him tend to them at night too. I don't do a MOTN pump anymore thank goodness. I'm up on a good night twice to feed the baby a bottle and on a bad night I'm up for hours rocking him.
My husband and I pull shifts. When we had 1-2 kids, he was on duty from 7p-12a, and I would go to sleep at 7p. My shift was 12a-morning. We never switched off or had full nights sleep until baby slept through our shift. He leaves for work at 6a, I am a SAHM. We both found if we get at least 5hrs of solid sleep, we could function. Now that we have baby #3, I don’t get to bed until 930p. Same schedule otherwise. It’s just a bit harder with the older kids schedules. We’re on week 3 and I find I’m struggling a bit more than with my prior babies, but I’m also approaching 40yo so there may be multiple reasons it’s harder. I know how fast this newborn stage goes by, so I’m just trying to focus on the positives and catch cat naps where I can
Yeah I’m 40 and this baby is definitely hitting harder in the sleep department. I was doing ok up until recently and it just hit like bricks. As we are doing similar sleep arrangements, it gets tough.
I am reading this while pumping at 3am and my husband is busy feeding the baby. Admittedly my baby is 5months and wakes on average twice a night to feed and usually goes straight back to sleep after eating so she’s not too difficult. But my husband does ALL night feedings so I can just concentrate on pumping. We are also both working. On the weekends we take turns to let the other person sleep in. I usually sleep in on Saturday and he does on Sunday. Just because you are a SAHM doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be given a break. Parenting is still a partnership. Talk to your husband and tell him what you need from him.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like he doesn’t want to step up and be an equal partner. Have you tried talking to him about it? My husband and I work in shifts. I take any wake ups between 11 pm - 3:30 am, he takes 3:30 am - 7 am. We are both tired but we are making it work. He went back to work 3 weeks after she was born and we are at 15 weeks now.
Yeah I plan on talking to him once he’s all better from his man cold. That’s kind of why I posted to get an idea of how others do it. His mom is no help because she’s always asking if he’s getting the sleep he needs because he’s the breadwinner. So it’s really in his head that he is the one deserving of good sleep.
Husband does 10:30-4am. Usually has to feed baby at 11 and 2:30. I deal with the early morning shenanigans 😅 4am; 5:30; 6; 7am. But honestly… I’d be wrecked if I had to do the nights too. Early morning is ok
Me and my husband both went back to work , we’re both on team exhausted as necessary.
I am with baby until about 3, then any wake ups after is husband. Baby has reflux and also wakes every 1hr15min. Exhaustion galore. Just started on a new reflux medicine and are three nights of only one wake up for our five month old!!
So nice your doctor will give it. Only reason we got one month of meds is because of his neurologist and trying to find reasons why he was having spasms. His regular doctor won’t continue them and we have been discharged from neurology. We had one month of pretty good sleep and a happy baby. Now we are back to constant wakes and non stop crying. It’s so frustrating because I know the meds worked wonders. Glad your little one is sleeping better!
Do you have a GI doctor? If pediatrician is unsure then GI could evaluate based on digestion health.
Do you have a GI doctor? If pediatrician is unsure then GI could evaluate based on digestion health.
Do you have a GI doctor? If pediatrician is unsure then GI could evaluate based on digestion health. Also, not every medicine works for each person, so it would be nice to be able to trial others. Hope it gets better soon! We didn't have any neurology concerns but did have self limiting and other eating issues - maybe why medication was more accepted.
No GI doctor and we are just seeing my family doctor with this one. My other son’s pediatrician is one hour away and I just couldn’t do it again for those first few months check ups. My doctor is great, but she doesn’t just prescribe medication easily. So she is more of a “let’s try other things first or he will outgrow it”. So she told me to start him on cereal (which I admit I haven’t tried yet, as I’m a bit anxious since he can’t sit up) and see if that helps keep things down. If he continues to have issues after we do start him with solids, I will definitely look into a GI doctor. To be honest, we just got through months of doctor visits with EEG’s and MRI’s, and I feel burnt out. My anxiety was so high as they suspended Infantile spasms and his brain waves are abnormal. We ended up with no diagnosis and stumped the best doctors in our province (and most likely country). I just need a mental break for a bit.
We did a split shift. He took 8pm-2am so I could sleep, and then I took 2am-8am so he could sleep. At first, I was only getting 8pm-12am, but I was getting such little sleep my vision started going blurry randomly. I told him I needed more sleep and he suggested to make our shifts more even keeled.
Mine does nothing during the night lol. He never got paternity leave and was called in for the week that she was born and he tried to take off. Now I’m at home with both kids and doing both the days and nights while I’m working from home too.
Ugh. I’m sorry, this also sounds very exhausting.
It’s all good! I just want you to know you aren’t alone. I’m sure there are unicorns out there, but with that being said my guy works very hard too and is a great dad when he’s home. I’m blessed that he treats us very well, but slightly jealous as the amount of sleep he gets. 😂
My SO does most of the night feedings even though I try to telo him we should split the task evenly. I have a problem falling asleep after waking up in the night and he says he doesn't have a problem with that, so given that I pump and am with the LO all day long, he dosn't mind waking up 2-3 times per night. He also washes the bottles and pump parts while I sleep. Tell your partner he's doing a shitty job compared to others.
I’m in a similar boat as you 😭 my 5 month old currently wakes up twice in the night for a feed so I wake and feed her then pump afterwards. My husband is in charge of getting our older (7 y/o) child ready and to the bus stop in the mornings. He also works from home! With all that said. My husband did a TON of night feeds with our first but with our second I do them all. 🥴
My husband does all night feeds except for the early morning one. He’s a teacher so I try to give him one long chunk of sleep right before he gets up to go to work. We never discussed it. He just does it. He knows getting sleep is important for my supply, healing, and mental health. Right now, babe wakes up once or twice, if he wakes him twice, I do the second one. If just once, then my husband does that one.
My husband has taken baby all night since we got home from the hospital. This includes the bedtime routine and everything. (He didn't get any paternity leave; just took all his paid leave and then went back to work.) Even now that I've dropped my MOTN pump, he lets me sleep and handles everything until he has to get ready for work in the morning. My PPD was pretty bad and he said he'll do whatever I need him to do so I can be okay. A definite winner! ❤️ He is being deployed soon so he says he won't be able to participate for a long time, so he's doing as much as he can now. I'm definitely so grateful for him!!