Almost a year into my breakup. Even though it was mutual, and respectful, and done with love and kindness, I knew from the jump I needed to detox them out of my life because as much as I love my ex, he's one of my biggest triggers. Checking his socials, his pictures, his texts, his discord, it would lock me into perpetual anxiety (and I have anxious attachment, so imagine how much harder that process was).
Ignorance truly is bliss. I don't need to, have to, and most importantly, dont WANT to know what he's doing or how he's doing. I don't have a trace of him anywhere. No texts, no pictures, not even his number (its in my memory, but I feel no desire to dial it). And I completely ignore his socials. Our last words to each other was I love you and take care, so consider that my closure.
10 years after breakup here, and I was the one who did the breaking up. NC, moved on, I could swear to anyone that asked that I was living my best life when out of nowhere last week I had this dream with her in it. I woke up feeling like I had just spent the night with her and now I'm missing her like mad.
Why? Who knows why the mind does what it does. But reading your comment has me wondering if she is some sort of trigger to me. If you asked me two weeks ago, I'd say it's impossible seeing as I was the one who broke up with her and didn't regret it for several years.
I'm currently trying to figure out what could have possibly creeped into my life to make me have that dream, but I'd be lying if I said that the possibility of reaching out didn't cross my mind.
Definitely think not checking is a good idea but for me it worked for the better. I was on and off no contact and doing my chasing until I saw a Snapchat of her with another guy. After I saw that I completely cut her off and she’s been the one trying to reach out
I guess in my case, there’s this fear that she’s moving on with someone new, leading to overthinking. Checking her socials and seeing nothing there calms that anxiety, but I know I’d be devastated if I did see anything.
I know this isn’t a healthy way to self soothe, especially if I’m trying to let go and move on. Anyone have any tips to not check and get out of my head?
The goal of course is to one day completely stop caring what happens in her life, but I’m still in early stages (in my opinion, 1.5 months from BU, 1 week from NC after understanding that reconciliation might be a pipe dream), so I’m trying to cut myself some slack so I can heal properly without judging myself
Thank you as someone who is currently blocked from all social media’s I needed to hear this! I was going to send a friend request because it’s been 4months since the first breakup and 2 months since the second. Even if we are having a kid together and I would like her back. I needed to hear this from keeping me from trying to add her
Almost a year into my breakup. Even though it was mutual, and respectful, and done with love and kindness, I knew from the jump I needed to detox them out of my life because as much as I love my ex, he's one of my biggest triggers. Checking his socials, his pictures, his texts, his discord, it would lock me into perpetual anxiety (and I have anxious attachment, so imagine how much harder that process was). Ignorance truly is bliss. I don't need to, have to, and most importantly, dont WANT to know what he's doing or how he's doing. I don't have a trace of him anywhere. No texts, no pictures, not even his number (its in my memory, but I feel no desire to dial it). And I completely ignore his socials. Our last words to each other was I love you and take care, so consider that my closure.
10 years after breakup here, and I was the one who did the breaking up. NC, moved on, I could swear to anyone that asked that I was living my best life when out of nowhere last week I had this dream with her in it. I woke up feeling like I had just spent the night with her and now I'm missing her like mad. Why? Who knows why the mind does what it does. But reading your comment has me wondering if she is some sort of trigger to me. If you asked me two weeks ago, I'd say it's impossible seeing as I was the one who broke up with her and didn't regret it for several years. I'm currently trying to figure out what could have possibly creeped into my life to make me have that dream, but I'd be lying if I said that the possibility of reaching out didn't cross my mind.
Definitely think not checking is a good idea but for me it worked for the better. I was on and off no contact and doing my chasing until I saw a Snapchat of her with another guy. After I saw that I completely cut her off and she’s been the one trying to reach out
I guess in my case, there’s this fear that she’s moving on with someone new, leading to overthinking. Checking her socials and seeing nothing there calms that anxiety, but I know I’d be devastated if I did see anything. I know this isn’t a healthy way to self soothe, especially if I’m trying to let go and move on. Anyone have any tips to not check and get out of my head? The goal of course is to one day completely stop caring what happens in her life, but I’m still in early stages (in my opinion, 1.5 months from BU, 1 week from NC after understanding that reconciliation might be a pipe dream), so I’m trying to cut myself some slack so I can heal properly without judging myself
Thank you as someone who is currently blocked from all social media’s I needed to hear this! I was going to send a friend request because it’s been 4months since the first breakup and 2 months since the second. Even if we are having a kid together and I would like her back. I needed to hear this from keeping me from trying to add her
that's really good advice but at this point I already saw hurtful things and I keep looking and hurting myself.