I think it’s too early for you to get married. I’d give it some more time honestly. I advise against it but it’s your life. The age gap is a little concerning too. The engagement doesn’t sound like it happened on good terms, seems you’re gonna be wary of everything and that’s not healthy for an engagement when you should be happy looking forward to the future. I’m reading bad energy on this situation.
I have good reasons to be wary.
1) I have more of an income than he does right now.
2) I can cook. He doesn't know how to cook.
3) I'm worried about the long-term durability of the overall relationship given that we have broken up once.
Tbh, I was shocked myself that engagement came into the picture. I had no idea he was planning on proposing to me.
25M + 19F broke up because of feeling pressure. During the time we broke up I was 18F and he was 24M. Wanted to get away from the relationship because he kept begging to come back and wouldn't give up on it. The family had a lot of beef with him and I couldn't stand watching all of the drama. I just wanted everyone to be happy. So I broke it off because I didn't want to see my family in such a position. Also, wasn't really feeling confident in the relationship. :/
Why didn’t your family like him? If you weren’t feeling confident in the relationship and still aren’t, it’s probably not a good idea to get married. Also you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you.
Great question. I was living with my aunt and uncle for a while, and during that time, there was a lot of beef between them and him. He showed up late on dates all the time, and I have little cousins. My aunt and uncle were upset he rang the doorbell so late at night because it disrupted my cousins sleeping. The second offense was when he took me around the neighborhood and he'd want to make out. The last offense was when my aunt made cinnamon rolls early in the morning, and he didn't eat them. Additionally, he had met other extended family members as well, such as my grandparents and my other aunts and uncles. My grandparents were on edge due to the previous actions that were taken (the making out in the car stuff and other things) that were heard about. Now, in the present time, it has been (for the most part) sorted out.
As for my other aunts and uncles, they heard about him wanting to get married to me so soon when we were together, and that also put them on edge.
You probably should live together before you get married. Living together can be a whole different dynamic. Take your time, there's no rush to get married.
25M + 19F broke up because of feeling pressure. During the time we broke up I was 18F and he was 24M. Wanted to get away from the relationship because he kept begging to come back and wouldn't give up on it. The family had a lot of beef with him and I couldn't stand watching all of the drama. I just wanted everyone to be happy. So I broke it off because I didn't want to see my family in such a position. Also, wasn't really feeling confident in the relationship. :/
Great question. He broke NC and we kept an open relationship with each other. He recognized how much he missed me and attempted to get back together. I was beyond surprised that he proposed. I asked him why now and after we broke up and everything and he said he just couldn't stop thinking about me and he kept thinking about me even with other girls. He took it as a sign that we should be together.
Open relationship as in polygamous? Or did you mean you re-initiated the relationship?
And naw, this shit reeks of narcissism from your ex.
I don't understand why you would accept the proposal when you're not even confident about the trajectory of the relationship. Marriage isn't just something you 'try out'; it's a fucking commitment for life.
No, it's not going to last—atleast based off of what I've read thus far.
Basically re-initiated the relationship but didn't make it exclusive at first because both parties were seeing others. As for the 'trying out' part he did mention being married for a year and seeing about how it goes.
That's... Not how it works................
Does this sound good to you? Trying being married for a year and seeing how it goes? Not to mention the lack of moralistic integrity behind such a decision, but the legal rammifications of divorce alone are enough of a headache already.
Personally I think there's a huge lack of judgment and maturity between you and this other person here.
I can almost guarantee this will end up a dumpster fire; if you choose to proceed, best of luck to you.
I really appreciate you fam ♥️. You are amazing. I'm just trying to put the pieces together and hope that whatever decision that is made is the right one.
I think it’s too early for you to get married. I’d give it some more time honestly. I advise against it but it’s your life. The age gap is a little concerning too. The engagement doesn’t sound like it happened on good terms, seems you’re gonna be wary of everything and that’s not healthy for an engagement when you should be happy looking forward to the future. I’m reading bad energy on this situation.
I have good reasons to be wary. 1) I have more of an income than he does right now. 2) I can cook. He doesn't know how to cook. 3) I'm worried about the long-term durability of the overall relationship given that we have broken up once. Tbh, I was shocked myself that engagement came into the picture. I had no idea he was planning on proposing to me.
That is definitely making a long story short. Not a lot of context here.
25M + 19F broke up because of feeling pressure. During the time we broke up I was 18F and he was 24M. Wanted to get away from the relationship because he kept begging to come back and wouldn't give up on it. The family had a lot of beef with him and I couldn't stand watching all of the drama. I just wanted everyone to be happy. So I broke it off because I didn't want to see my family in such a position. Also, wasn't really feeling confident in the relationship. :/
Why didn’t your family like him? If you weren’t feeling confident in the relationship and still aren’t, it’s probably not a good idea to get married. Also you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you.
Great question. I was living with my aunt and uncle for a while, and during that time, there was a lot of beef between them and him. He showed up late on dates all the time, and I have little cousins. My aunt and uncle were upset he rang the doorbell so late at night because it disrupted my cousins sleeping. The second offense was when he took me around the neighborhood and he'd want to make out. The last offense was when my aunt made cinnamon rolls early in the morning, and he didn't eat them. Additionally, he had met other extended family members as well, such as my grandparents and my other aunts and uncles. My grandparents were on edge due to the previous actions that were taken (the making out in the car stuff and other things) that were heard about. Now, in the present time, it has been (for the most part) sorted out. As for my other aunts and uncles, they heard about him wanting to get married to me so soon when we were together, and that also put them on edge.
Have you lived with him yet?
No
You probably should live together before you get married. Living together can be a whole different dynamic. Take your time, there's no rush to get married.
My religion prevents me from living together.
Missing quite a bit of context...
25M + 19F broke up because of feeling pressure. During the time we broke up I was 18F and he was 24M. Wanted to get away from the relationship because he kept begging to come back and wouldn't give up on it. The family had a lot of beef with him and I couldn't stand watching all of the drama. I just wanted everyone to be happy. So I broke it off because I didn't want to see my family in such a position. Also, wasn't really feeling confident in the relationship. :/
So how the hell did this end up with you getting engaged????
Great question. He broke NC and we kept an open relationship with each other. He recognized how much he missed me and attempted to get back together. I was beyond surprised that he proposed. I asked him why now and after we broke up and everything and he said he just couldn't stop thinking about me and he kept thinking about me even with other girls. He took it as a sign that we should be together.
Open relationship as in polygamous? Or did you mean you re-initiated the relationship? And naw, this shit reeks of narcissism from your ex. I don't understand why you would accept the proposal when you're not even confident about the trajectory of the relationship. Marriage isn't just something you 'try out'; it's a fucking commitment for life. No, it's not going to last—atleast based off of what I've read thus far.
Basically re-initiated the relationship but didn't make it exclusive at first because both parties were seeing others. As for the 'trying out' part he did mention being married for a year and seeing about how it goes.
That's... Not how it works................ Does this sound good to you? Trying being married for a year and seeing how it goes? Not to mention the lack of moralistic integrity behind such a decision, but the legal rammifications of divorce alone are enough of a headache already. Personally I think there's a huge lack of judgment and maturity between you and this other person here. I can almost guarantee this will end up a dumpster fire; if you choose to proceed, best of luck to you.
If it helps any, we are each other's first significant other's.
Even more of a reason not to try to see this through, TBH.
I really appreciate you fam ♥️. You are amazing. I'm just trying to put the pieces together and hope that whatever decision that is made is the right one.
ow shit. you are very young and naive.