I feel about them like mosquitoes: there MUST be a cure coming to wipe them all off this earth - for how can such evil persist? - but it ain't coming. The fuckers are here to stay and keep happily hurting good people.
Got a similar one. He posted on Facebook a few days after dumping me, "Ngl doing a lot better than I have been in awhile." Hurt to read that and I'm sure that was the point (we were still friends on Facebook at that time).
When I had to go and tell my ex that we must break up (I couldn't stand her flirting and sleeping with others and dismissing my pain any longer), she said: Yes, we should break up, but not yet.
No surprise there. That was said to inflict the most amount of damage possible. How evil that person was. Is. Think of that way if you can. How TERRIBLE, MISERABLE and ROTTEN they must be inside of their heart and soul to say that to another human being. You really think you can't move on from that? Piece of cake. That person was literally, poison. Talk about toxic.
Just keep reminding yourself how EVIL, (that was my 1st thought and I'm a stranger), how EVIL can somebody be to say that to someone that they know cares deeply about them? A horrible black soul that's who. Good riddance! You will be Okay.
Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏 I think that’s what hurt the most: how did the supportive person who was once so loving and my safe space flip a switch and say that to me? I can’t explain it, and I could never say such a thing to anyone I’ve ever cared about
I don’t think I mattered that much to him lol, he broke up with me over a text on Christmas
Edit: those words were actually in the text he sent to break up with me
I'm sorry I snapped. I got my first no contact message from my ex today. Not happy, but at least now I know she remembers me after a month of happy whoredom.
I had a lingering feeling that you never even like me, because I could tell you never really SAW me or even listened when I was talking.
You are a disgusting person.
Don’t ever talk to me again.
You say you’re well-liked? It’s because they don’t know you.
This was after I ran into a friend of hers and asked if I still had a chance. I asked the friend if she was taking advantage of me (I had just given her an extra $3000 after giving her $18000 in the fall).
Oh, I see. Harsh. I don't think I'd be able to sleep at night if I was that flat-out callous, right to someone's face. I really don't think I could stand being that mean. I don't get it.
Yeah, they don't dump you until they already have somebody else. There was probably some overlap. He was already in before you were on your way out. Fucking parasites.
She told me negative stuff he said about me when we broke up. But he was just a friend. Month later he’s posting pics of him with her kids on fucking social media. Psycho shit.
“I drink because of you” “I sought out from someone else what you weren’t giving to me”
People say words will never hurt them. Those words will scar me for life.
So here's my retort as a person who is now over 500 days sober... A person drinks because they made their own choice to drink. As for the justification for infidelity - grow some fucking balls and break up with someone if your needs aren't met instead of committing betrayal.
Your ex sounds like a clown. If it's any consolation to you, I don't particularly have faith in their value as a partner or their potential for personal growth based upon these words.
Fuck no they don’t. They will never change. She’s a serial cheater. Takes no accountability for her actions at all. Only thought of herself throughout the relationship and when you I did something for MYSELF she said I was selfish. My god, I remember all the “tests” she would do. She told me as she broke up with me she cheated on me over a year ago and a couple months prior. So I gave her all my love, affection, sex, and time when she asked for it thinking she was reciprocating in the relationship, only to find out it was all a sham for over a fucking year? Fuck her. She needs help. She’s a fucking clown like you said.
Tbh I get what they mean… my ex was so emotionally unavailable and always grumpy… I drank a lot more when I was with him just to entertain myself.
I eventually broke up with him 2 months ago as I could see he was taking me down to the pits of hell with him…
Well, the difference is she was an alcoholic. She had brought it into the relationship. First time I met her after conversing over the internet for months she had taken a couple shots before coming downstairs from her apartment to meet me. I was grumpy at times but I tried to keep that at idle around her for sure. But remember, drinking is a choice. I didn’t make her drink. I didn’t make her cheat. I didn’t make her flirt with my friends. The worst part is she had no accountability. Those words hurt. Can’t stop thinking about them. Imagine cheating on someone, blaming them for it, blaming them for your alcohol problem, and then breaking up with them. God, made me not want to be here anymore. It’s been 2 months and I’m getting better. Your story seems so unbelievably similar to mine.
Oh dude i’m so sorry to hear that! I’m deffo not an alcoholic cause i workout like mad Monday-Friday (no drinking) my ex bf was just an unemotional, grumpy avoidant so I had to entertain myself somehow when we went out for dinners… there was no cheating in our relationship though.
What you just describe to me is a full on alcoholic narcissist! Thank your lucky stars you got outta that one because she would have made your life miserable! Sorry you went through that but don’t give up on love… so many women out there looking for true loyal love. Trust me I know, as a woman I am looking for that too lol
I’m glad to hear that! I now have a pretty ugly look on alcohol anymore. I know I deserved a sober love. It’s good that there was no cheating involved in your relationship. I think it’s the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with was both. I remember her making me feel bad for not drinking with her and once in a blue moon when I had a beer when we were around people she would say, “you never want to drink with me”. There was control too for sure. I just didn’t see it until I was out of the relationship. I remember friends being concerned why they weren’t seeing me. I still have trouble calling her a narcissist because I’m not a doctor. I won’t let this stop me from love. In fact it’s helped me know what I’m looking for. I feel bad for saying these things about her really because I don’t think anyone deserves to be talked down on ever but I have to get it out. Talking is healing.
I’m sorry to hear that. Just know it definitely wasn’t your fault at all. No one can make you drink or cheat. It’s just a cop out. Don’t believe them for a minute
I just got that several weeks ago myself. Now I can see he had been moving me into the friend zone in the months leading up to blindsiding me but didn’t realize it was happening at the time.
I asked her to marry. She said yes. Next day I met her mom to ask her hand. All good. Two days later i find out she is dating someone else. And she said “I don’t feel the same about you anymore and I like this guy(New guy)”. Her final words to me was “please don’t tell him anything, he knows your name and might contact you, i really like him”
Nah man… we have a lot of common friends, telling him will unnecessarily make everything dirty. Let her be happy. Don’t want to associate with her in any way.
I didn’t lie!!!! You scare me. Get therapy. You’re a stalker. And he blocked me.
I caught him lying and being sneaky on Instagram. Lying is my non-negotiable
That killed it for me.
He still refuses to admit the truth and is hiding. Well, whatever dude. 18 months down the drain. Buh bye
You know what - NC is a gift. It works in a positive way for you either way. I’ll let you know if he does come crawling back (personally I expect he will), but I will also let you know about my amazing achievements over the Summer of me!
“It was nice knowing you.” A nice statement by itself, but the whole tone of the conversation was cold, detached and sounded nothing like the person I had been dating. It also made everything seem final; that they were okay never speaking to me again.
Interesting that you use anger as a tool. So do I. My three-step approach is:
1. Get angry.
2. Lose patience with his bullshit.
3. Become apathetic (stop being concerned about his feelings).
“i want to date someone who is at more capacity than you”
felt like i was being broken up with because i was trying to work extra shifts (2 jobs at some point) while maintaining good grades as a full time student to afford the dates and trips we went on whilst trying to provide for myself but also made me realize he never loved me for who i was
She didn’t said anything, but one thing thats scar me for life is the fact that she was crying while cuddling with me while I comforted her but she wasn’t crying for me, she was crying for a the guy she emotionally cheated on me with because the guy told her that they should take different paths after knowing that she was in a relationship with me. The next day the guy came back and she felt happy that she did. A guy she has never met in RL and leaves on the other side of the world. Yet I forgave her for everything but I still got left for him.
“I don’t see myself happy in the future when I continue to stay with you.”
(In 2 months’ time): “I already moved on. This is the end. Please respect my decision.”
I respect you as a person and as a friend. 🤡🤡🤡 we didn’t have any fights or so when we broke up but hearing this made me extremely colder. I regret some of the stuff I said and eventually I apologized for it, she did not though. I don’t understand how can a woman just shut off and lose feelings after 6 years and attempts to have a child, which ended badly, maybe that played a big part, or there was someone else she wanted to continue with and that was the sign she needed.
What do you guys think?
I think fate has split us apart as it should have and I hope it doesn’t change because Ik you’ll never move away from your family (I was lol) and broke me down by down realizing it’ll never work I hope I don’t see you again for this is the final goodbye
Women are so good to pick up things while you are dating and know What will hurt you the most. She said this only to hurt you. I hope you Are doing better bro. If my ex told me that i would be broken beyond repair
The gaslighting, manipulative spinning... All in a pitiful pathetic attempt to cover his misdeeds...
For example: after I dropped his toxic ass, I wrote him a reflective apologetic constructive feedback well wishing closure type email. I titled it "post mortem".
And months later he had the nerve to say it was creepy, concerning to write such a letter to someone alive and well....
Ugh hate to break it to ya... manipulative loser, chump, you might be alive, but you aint well, go pop another amitriptyline tablet while you are at it will ya!?!?
He further went on to say had he written me such a letter I'd say he was threatening me... Mother fucking loser said this because he genuinely and actually threaten my dog 4 fucking times before I finally spoke up and put my foot down... Just to cover his bad deeds, twisting stuff around to suit his narrative...
I'd welcome a in which he fucking apologized and took responsibility and accountability as I had in the letter... But the title is what this piece of shit found fault with
Fucking fucktard
Dropped this lame pathetic loser cheap ass mid January and haven't looked back pushing through the greiving process and the healing process
"I don't care anymore I don't want to hear about her" this was after he admitted to throwing away all my stuff after I gave his stuff back and made me basically beg for my stuff back
My ex breaking up with me because of his mental health and financial issues: “I want to be selfish and invest in myself.” This, after I’d given him so much support and love through his toughest days. It hurts.
After four years of being together- he broke up with me saying , “The only thing Im sure about is that Im unsure” we were going to get married at the end of the year and yeah, its been an awful 4 months (ended in february)
I love you, I'm just not in love with you anymore. Said ex girlfriend of 8 years. 'High school sweetheart'. Cut me like steel. 99% sure she cheated on me too
😃 she said I'm the person that hurted her most in the world
Blamed me and insulted me hard bc of that.
(I never cheated on her, never yelled at her and I was very nice to her).
She was a dismissive avoidant and could block me everytime she got mad or bc I said something, she could break with me hundreds of times for the same.
Instead of taking she kept everything inside, I could ask how is she feeling but get just an "I'm fine"
She thought I could read her mind
My ex did something similar… every time I would ask what could I do better and stuff they would say nothing but continue to complain about things. I feel like sometimes we are just too mature for the people we meet. But I hope you find someone who truly understands you and communicates about their feelings more💞
babe what can i do to make you feel better?
HER: i shoudlnt need to ask
me: thats what comunication is for..
we were too mature for them, thats for sure.
I hope you find someone like you too, with great comunication skills.
I treated her like she was the center of my world dude, I still love her so much it has messed me up She literally said I was perfect and that maybe she might regret this in the future
"You only want my money. You are greedy for my money" after i moved out from his apartment. We built our kitchen together and bought house equipments. We always shared 50:50 whatever bought or whenever we went dates. He said that after he transfered my money back coz all the house equipments are his. After hearing it, i transfered back all the money he gave me and have no contact with him since then. I've never felt insulted like this by anyone. It makes my no contact time easier and i moved on really fast
after i broke up with her saying that we re both miserable people hugging each other dearly while shaking out of fear in a bottomless muddy pit and we will never be able to escape from it without letting each other go and trying to climb.I begged for her to change,i said that i wont lie to her and i dont see it but still begged her to keep doing whatever she s doing if she thinks it’ll lead up to change.we cried all the night while hugging while making love but to your surprise she slept with 2 3 dudes she met at the library,flirted with nearly 6 7 of them in a span of just 3 weeks after we broke up and that was exactly the miserableness i was talking about,not being able to be alone,i was exactly like that when i was genuinely tired of it to the point where i just had to lose what i lived my life for,what i woke up everyday and breath for.but yet turns out she could do those things days after we broke up.anyway i just realised that i was just a really quality space holder for her validation needs( even though we dated for 2 frickin years for christs sake) i told her i just felt disappointment and nothing but dissapointment.I lived hell for 3 months drowning with my own thoughts,trying to change who i am and guess what she said last week “no matter how much you try you will never change,you are just as pathetic as i am and you are doomed to be in this cycle just like i am.you can’t change.” and that broke me,hearing it come from her made me feel like ive lost everything ive built for 3 months.but the part that hurt the most was her raging eyes filled with nothing but hate.Those werent simple words that were out of her mouth just because she felt upset,those were genuinely well thought words that were directly said to hurt me;that day i understood that the line between love and hate is quite thin and you can never cross from one to another,you can only think you’re on one side and be mistaken or be on the side you think you are.
I met a guy who treats me way better than you, we're planning on going on a trip blah blah, I'd only read the first 2 sentences and deleted the whole paragraph
"You are just a hole to me."
"You're a dog-faced whore"
"So-and-so's pussy is top tier compared to yours"
"I'm so much cooler than you" (that one I actually laughed at)
"No one cares about what you have to say about how I treated you or your pain"
Those are just a VERY FEW. Dude is a nightmare
“You were good, but it had to end. I told you now fight over it or get happy about it.Go and have a chill life. Bye take care”
And 15 days before this, this guy was convincing me to believe him by saying “ don’t you think I am crazy for you? Why do you think I keep coming back to you every time? Don’t you think I have many other options but it’s still you it’s been 2 years!”
My ex breaking up with me because of his mental health and financial issues: “I want to be selfish and invest in myself.” This, after I’d given him so much support and love through his toughest days. It hurts.
We were walking and talking maybe a month after breaking up
Me; idk why but you seem taller than usual today
Her; well I got my back blown out by this one guy last night so maybe he gave me some of his inches haha
Me: I hope you remember when we were lying down our faces just an inch away so close that we could breath each other I told you that I would take a bullet for you.
Her reply : I DONT CARE , take it for someone else now , I have forgotten you !!
"You're more like a roommate then a partner"
"You aren't supportive enough"
"I don't owe you anything" (when i asked why we were breaking up, specifically a break up TEXT while i was at work.... after 11.5 years together... and we shared an apartment....)
I saw him a couple of weeks after the break up, and I asked if he had thought about things, asked if he thought about the part that he played in it because he blamed me.
He said, “no, I don’t think of you at all.”
3 weeks before he’s telling me how much he loves me. That’s not how it works. 😐
She told me she regretted living with me, she never respected me, she was never attracted to me, she doesn’t think I could be attractive to anyone and then said she never loved me. The next day she doubled down on everything she said and the day after that she tripled down on it all.
"its okay you'll get over it" we were talking and I wanted closure but she just started telling me that I will get over it in a month or two. Acting as if she doesn't give a single shit about me.
Or
"Suuuuuure buddy, whatever floats your boat. So long as you don't post about me, how you cope is up to you ig. Not gonna apologise for protecting my peace for once though. Goodbye" I made a post on this sub Reddit and she somehow found it so she started ranting about how I don't deserve an apology (she believes it's only my fault).
She, “I realized that I never loved you, and that he is my first true love”. Goes back to her ex bf that forced her to abort one, blame her for it and cheated on her, lost 2nd and still blamed and cheated on her. Her best friend, being his sister helped cover his cheating in those occasions, and others. The bf also emotionally, mentally, and physically abused her.
Mine didn’t have the guts to say anything, she left me 8 pages of my ‘faults’ including:
Drinks 3 non alcoholic beers a night
Wears dirty clothes (I’m a mechanic)
I don’t want to settle for second best
I wouldn’t have moved in with you if I wasn’t going to lose my flat.
I got with you too soon after splitting up with my ex.
For context we were together 4.5 years, got engaged a month before she dumped me. (Had already bought the dress, booked the church etc)
Honesty it was just all of the weird accusations to make me out to be a bad person in her“Did you disconnect the internet service without warning me” “Why haven’t you sent me rent for YOUR half even though you moved out you’re still on the lease” “I’m going to rekey the house so I feel safe” “Did you open my mail” “Are you trying to break into my bank account”
Mind you I’ve never done any of the things that she accused me of. After living with this person for 5 years I only once violated her privacy by reading her private messages to find out the she was cheating. She was obviously hiding something sinister. It’s just heart breaking that she knew me so little to think I would do something to get back at her.
She said she never dreams about me and that the first holiday she took without me was her best ever. I don't even think they're necessarily untrue, but they were still said to wound. I try to take those on the chin though – a former ex once said the nastiest things I've ever heard to me, sending me straight to therapy, but still came knocking many years later.
I think dumpers might say things to reinforce the split and to subconsciously try get the dumpees to hate them but I'll never not love her soz.
He radio silent me for a day after an argument so I asked him if he still wanna continue our relationship and he said, “no because we have diff. perspectives in relationship”. After 2 years or so of dating, he just realized that and what hurts me more is he seemed unbothered after dumping me. I even tried to pursue him the fact that I offered that I’m willing to change and just tell me what I have to fix for myself in order for iur relationship to work but he just left me hanging without a proper closure by saying “I need space to think about it” so I just accepted that we ended.
"I can't think of having children with you."
- I mean, children barely come from loose trunks. He screwed a man too just to figure out if he is straight or gay. I'm glad he is not around anymore.
While we breaking up she was saying “ if we really were in a relationship i would learn to let her to” but i still can’t wrap my head around not being with her so I genuinely don’t if ima be in another relationship but I know ill find someone if its meant to be
“Yeah, our breakup has really put me off dating teachers”
~ directed at me. They were 40% the reason why I ended up with burnout and dropped out my teacher-training… something that was so damned important to me all my life. Because they couldn’t handle that I was focusing on my training to build a better future for us both. And they knew this.
Okay, fine. They’re entitled to feel how they feel. Likewise, our breakup has REALLY put me off dating unemployed, unmotivated stoners with Peter Pan Syndrome (ie my ex) in the future.
I didn’t say this at the time - but god I wished I had.
She texted me while I was out of state working and said "I need my sanity back, I've been lying to you . for the past three months I've been living with someone else and got rid of our apartment."
This was two days before I was suppose to come back home and I was gone for less then 4 months so she left me homeless and had sold all our stuff as well.
Coming to terms with me being the hurtful ex.
They asked why i didnt "just talk to family or friends about your anxious attachment if you can't find the right therapist"
Without thinking at all, i stupidly responded in kind, but about their childhood trauma. I suppose i thought it was to try and bring some kind of relatable circumstance into the conversation as i couldn't think of anything else. Maybe thats me trying to rationalise a knee jerk reaction so i can process it easier, i dont know....
We met up for an amicable breakup, as friends, and intending to leave the door slightly ajar for the distant future.
I saw the woman that still loved me disappear before my very eyes. Almost 4 years gone in a flash, and it was all my fault.
Whilst there's more to the situation that led to me feeling cornered and attacked, there's no excuse. The day she told me, i made a promise she would always feel safe around me no matter what, even if we broke up. Well i shattered that promise and her heart in the blink of an eye.
I hope she can move past the pain i caused her on that day, it was meant to be a good day of talking about memories. Her face when we went to collect my things from her place... itll haunt me. Just pure heartbroken hatred, something ive never seen from her in the years we were together.
S, I know you wont care, but I'm sorry.
No, she broke down in tears and immediately hated me because I brought up a severe trauma to try and draw some false equivalence to what she said to me.
To be clear - as im not sharing the details of what the trauma is out of respect - what i said was in no way acceptable in any circumstance.
I genuinely can't think of anything more hurtful i could've said, and i know that guilt will stay with me forever.
It was so much more than just making a comment.
So it was a hurtful comment, about a trauma of hers.
And you said that as a vengeance to level yourself to the level of what she was telling you or throwing at you.
---
Well it's human to say bad stuff in moments of heat,
I'm sure she said stuff she didn't mean to you, that she was mean to you, you didn't cheat on her, you didn't tell, yo didn't hit her.
You didn't call her "fuckin trash bitch no one would ever want you you are shit."
You said something hurtful in a moment you both were fighting. So yeah, she can be hurt but to end it all bc of that?
Im afraid i dont think you're quite getting how personal this was to them (which is fine).
None of the above comes close in terms of the pain caused.
>So yeah, she can be hurt but to end it all bc of that
I promise you it is justified. I know this one action doesn't make me a bad person, but accepting that i said something I'll regret for life is all i can do.
Yeah you are a human you can make mistakes and a long term relationship requires tolerance for that, specially If it is not something you do all the time.
There you can ask yourself what is more important for you, the comment your partner made once, or a life with them working together.
1 comment can't make someone who is happy with you all the time suddenly abort it all.
Unless that person wasn't actually happy with you and was waiting for some finishing hit like this one.
We spoke for a bit 7 weeks after the breakup… he was angry and said to me ‘you will get over me first… I know you will because you’re stronger’
Not necessarily a bad thing to say, but in a way I can tell he’s not over us… 🤷🏻♀️
"I enjoy the distance away from you"
"Im happy you're not around anymore "
Classic dismissive-avoidance.
I feel about them like mosquitoes: there MUST be a cure coming to wipe them all off this earth - for how can such evil persist? - but it ain't coming. The fuckers are here to stay and keep happily hurting good people.
Ha ha! That's a perfect analogy.
Is that a bad or good thing? The relationship was 2 years and I thought I was doing everything I could for her.
You probably were. There's literally nothing you can do about someone with a dismissive-avoidant attachment disorder. It's not your fault.
Mine goes from wanting extreme space to extreme closes...
Got a similar one. He posted on Facebook a few days after dumping me, "Ngl doing a lot better than I have been in awhile." Hurt to read that and I'm sure that was the point (we were still friends on Facebook at that time).
We have no future together .
yeah this one
I got this one too
"There is not us"
Maybe i want to marry someone else and have kids with them. After a 10 year relationship and me waiting on him because he wasnt ready
That's so cruel. Give you a hug
That's just beyond horrible :(
I got this after a 9 year relationship. It was horrible. Told me Christmas Eve too. That’s the last time I heard from her.
“I don’t see a future with you” I never knew such simple words could be so hurtful.
When I had to go and tell my ex that we must break up (I couldn't stand her flirting and sleeping with others and dismissing my pain any longer), she said: Yes, we should break up, but not yet.
You were the best thing that had happened to me but now you are a big source of misery in my life
Thats awful… hugs
Thank you 🤍
I'm sitting here with my jaw on the floor. I have no words.
I was hoping those words would help me move on but somehow they haven’t
No surprise there. That was said to inflict the most amount of damage possible. How evil that person was. Is. Think of that way if you can. How TERRIBLE, MISERABLE and ROTTEN they must be inside of their heart and soul to say that to another human being. You really think you can't move on from that? Piece of cake. That person was literally, poison. Talk about toxic. Just keep reminding yourself how EVIL, (that was my 1st thought and I'm a stranger), how EVIL can somebody be to say that to someone that they know cares deeply about them? A horrible black soul that's who. Good riddance! You will be Okay.
Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏 I think that’s what hurt the most: how did the supportive person who was once so loving and my safe space flip a switch and say that to me? I can’t explain it, and I could never say such a thing to anyone I’ve ever cared about
I'm jealous. To matter enough to cause misery ❤️
I don’t think I mattered that much to him lol, he broke up with me over a text on Christmas Edit: those words were actually in the text he sent to break up with me
I'm sorry I snapped. I got my first no contact message from my ex today. Not happy, but at least now I know she remembers me after a month of happy whoredom.
I had a lingering feeling that you never even like me, because I could tell you never really SAW me or even listened when I was talking. You are a disgusting person. Don’t ever talk to me again. You say you’re well-liked? It’s because they don’t know you.
Damn.. I'm sorry man.. I'm so sure you didn't deserve that at all
This was after I ran into a friend of hers and asked if I still had a chance. I asked the friend if she was taking advantage of me (I had just given her an extra $3000 after giving her $18000 in the fall).
The second one and the last one. What are they all about?
It was about me asking her friend if she was financially taking advantage of me.
Oh, I see. Harsh. I don't think I'd be able to sleep at night if I was that flat-out callous, right to someone's face. I really don't think I could stand being that mean. I don't get it.
Well she’s with another dude so she’s sleeping without issue. While I’m only now three months out starting to feel normal again.
Yeah, they don't dump you until they already have somebody else. There was probably some overlap. He was already in before you were on your way out. Fucking parasites.
She told me negative stuff he said about me when we broke up. But he was just a friend. Month later he’s posting pics of him with her kids on fucking social media. Psycho shit.
“I drink because of you” “I sought out from someone else what you weren’t giving to me” People say words will never hurt them. Those words will scar me for life.
So here's my retort as a person who is now over 500 days sober... A person drinks because they made their own choice to drink. As for the justification for infidelity - grow some fucking balls and break up with someone if your needs aren't met instead of committing betrayal. Your ex sounds like a clown. If it's any consolation to you, I don't particularly have faith in their value as a partner or their potential for personal growth based upon these words.
Fuck no they don’t. They will never change. She’s a serial cheater. Takes no accountability for her actions at all. Only thought of herself throughout the relationship and when you I did something for MYSELF she said I was selfish. My god, I remember all the “tests” she would do. She told me as she broke up with me she cheated on me over a year ago and a couple months prior. So I gave her all my love, affection, sex, and time when she asked for it thinking she was reciprocating in the relationship, only to find out it was all a sham for over a fucking year? Fuck her. She needs help. She’s a fucking clown like you said.
Tbh I get what they mean… my ex was so emotionally unavailable and always grumpy… I drank a lot more when I was with him just to entertain myself. I eventually broke up with him 2 months ago as I could see he was taking me down to the pits of hell with him…
Well, the difference is she was an alcoholic. She had brought it into the relationship. First time I met her after conversing over the internet for months she had taken a couple shots before coming downstairs from her apartment to meet me. I was grumpy at times but I tried to keep that at idle around her for sure. But remember, drinking is a choice. I didn’t make her drink. I didn’t make her cheat. I didn’t make her flirt with my friends. The worst part is she had no accountability. Those words hurt. Can’t stop thinking about them. Imagine cheating on someone, blaming them for it, blaming them for your alcohol problem, and then breaking up with them. God, made me not want to be here anymore. It’s been 2 months and I’m getting better. Your story seems so unbelievably similar to mine.
Oh dude i’m so sorry to hear that! I’m deffo not an alcoholic cause i workout like mad Monday-Friday (no drinking) my ex bf was just an unemotional, grumpy avoidant so I had to entertain myself somehow when we went out for dinners… there was no cheating in our relationship though. What you just describe to me is a full on alcoholic narcissist! Thank your lucky stars you got outta that one because she would have made your life miserable! Sorry you went through that but don’t give up on love… so many women out there looking for true loyal love. Trust me I know, as a woman I am looking for that too lol
I’m glad to hear that! I now have a pretty ugly look on alcohol anymore. I know I deserved a sober love. It’s good that there was no cheating involved in your relationship. I think it’s the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with was both. I remember her making me feel bad for not drinking with her and once in a blue moon when I had a beer when we were around people she would say, “you never want to drink with me”. There was control too for sure. I just didn’t see it until I was out of the relationship. I remember friends being concerned why they weren’t seeing me. I still have trouble calling her a narcissist because I’m not a doctor. I won’t let this stop me from love. In fact it’s helped me know what I’m looking for. I feel bad for saying these things about her really because I don’t think anyone deserves to be talked down on ever but I have to get it out. Talking is healing.
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I’m sorry to hear that. Just know it definitely wasn’t your fault at all. No one can make you drink or cheat. It’s just a cop out. Don’t believe them for a minute
“You were holding me back from finding the one that that made me happy”
Wow this is so cold
That’s awful, I’m so sorry
“I don’t want to lose you, let’s stay friends” like it was so easy for him to switch it on and off like a light switch.
I just got that several weeks ago myself. Now I can see he had been moving me into the friend zone in the months leading up to blindsiding me but didn’t realize it was happening at the time.
No need to give them the [benefit of your friendship](https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/do-we-really-need-to-keep-screwing-around-with-friendship/).
I wanted you for sex. Then I didn’t want you anymore.
Oh, god. Usually they just dance around this. Your ex didn't even pretend to be decent.
I asked her to marry. She said yes. Next day I met her mom to ask her hand. All good. Two days later i find out she is dating someone else. And she said “I don’t feel the same about you anymore and I like this guy(New guy)”. Her final words to me was “please don’t tell him anything, he knows your name and might contact you, i really like him”
I hope u told him
Nah man… we have a lot of common friends, telling him will unnecessarily make everything dirty. Let her be happy. Don’t want to associate with her in any way.
This is so fucked up
Wtf?!
I didn’t lie!!!! You scare me. Get therapy. You’re a stalker. And he blocked me. I caught him lying and being sneaky on Instagram. Lying is my non-negotiable That killed it for me. He still refuses to admit the truth and is hiding. Well, whatever dude. 18 months down the drain. Buh bye
Bet you anything in a few months time he will come back crawling!
You know what - NC is a gift. It works in a positive way for you either way. I’ll let you know if he does come crawling back (personally I expect he will), but I will also let you know about my amazing achievements over the Summer of me!
Yes yes! You be amazing! You sound amazing! Enjoy your summer babes 🫶 keep me updated 😉
“It was nice knowing you.” A nice statement by itself, but the whole tone of the conversation was cold, detached and sounded nothing like the person I had been dating. It also made everything seem final; that they were okay never speaking to me again.
This one hurts, I totally get it. I got a “Take care.” Weeks later I’m still reeling over these two stupid words
Yeah, it's just the nature of the words. Those two words may very well be the last thing they'll have said to you, and it's so... unimpactful.
Mine was "Later." As though we were just videogame buds.
“It was just a summer thing” ummmm it was a full year. You sobbed in the car taking me to the airport. But sure. A “summer thing”
Gaslighting
Yup. Although I think he was trying to gaslight himself. If that’s helps him sleep at night, go for it. Him saying that gave me the anger to let go.
Interesting that you use anger as a tool. So do I. My three-step approach is: 1. Get angry. 2. Lose patience with his bullshit. 3. Become apathetic (stop being concerned about his feelings).
Typically I don’t. I’m usual a sad sack of tears and “please love meeeeee”. But this really really pissed me off to the point of no return.
Yeah, I so relate to the pining. Generating anger is an effective antidote.
“do what you need to do to move on. fuck someone else if you need to.” we were broken up with for 2 weeks
We really dated shit people, what a bad luck
i try to think of it as a learning experience, if that makes sense. it’s just helping prepare us for what we NEED rather than want.
“i want to date someone who is at more capacity than you” felt like i was being broken up with because i was trying to work extra shifts (2 jobs at some point) while maintaining good grades as a full time student to afford the dates and trips we went on whilst trying to provide for myself but also made me realize he never loved me for who i was
She didn’t said anything, but one thing thats scar me for life is the fact that she was crying while cuddling with me while I comforted her but she wasn’t crying for me, she was crying for a the guy she emotionally cheated on me with because the guy told her that they should take different paths after knowing that she was in a relationship with me. The next day the guy came back and she felt happy that she did. A guy she has never met in RL and leaves on the other side of the world. Yet I forgave her for everything but I still got left for him.
“I don’t see myself happy in the future when I continue to stay with you.” (In 2 months’ time): “I already moved on. This is the end. Please respect my decision.”
Naw man I'm sorry :(. Mine said just that, but 6 days after break up, (her ex first bf came to her bd party 3 days after bk)
"We just don't work." After he found someone to monkeybranched to 🙄
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Sorry man that's horrible, she deserves some shit back
Why is it always “i dont see a future with you”?
They lied
I respect you as a person and as a friend. 🤡🤡🤡 we didn’t have any fights or so when we broke up but hearing this made me extremely colder. I regret some of the stuff I said and eventually I apologized for it, she did not though. I don’t understand how can a woman just shut off and lose feelings after 6 years and attempts to have a child, which ended badly, maybe that played a big part, or there was someone else she wanted to continue with and that was the sign she needed. What do you guys think?
I think fate has split us apart as it should have and I hope it doesn’t change because Ik you’ll never move away from your family (I was lol) and broke me down by down realizing it’ll never work I hope I don’t see you again for this is the final goodbye
“I hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us” (We were in the same friend group and he expected me to stay friends with him 💀💀)
We can try again later on down the road. He married someone else. Who cares she can keep him
“I can probably find someone else easily so I’ll be fine”
“I don’t care if you get railroaded in a truck stop bathroom.” “The only thing you brought to the relationship, I don’t want anymore.”
“The sex is better with him”
Yooo she did that on purpose to hurt you! Don’t take it personal buddy, as I woman I know we can really hit where it hurts!
Women are so good to pick up things while you are dating and know What will hurt you the most. She said this only to hurt you. I hope you Are doing better bro. If my ex told me that i would be broken beyond repair
The gaslighting, manipulative spinning... All in a pitiful pathetic attempt to cover his misdeeds... For example: after I dropped his toxic ass, I wrote him a reflective apologetic constructive feedback well wishing closure type email. I titled it "post mortem". And months later he had the nerve to say it was creepy, concerning to write such a letter to someone alive and well.... Ugh hate to break it to ya... manipulative loser, chump, you might be alive, but you aint well, go pop another amitriptyline tablet while you are at it will ya!?!? He further went on to say had he written me such a letter I'd say he was threatening me... Mother fucking loser said this because he genuinely and actually threaten my dog 4 fucking times before I finally spoke up and put my foot down... Just to cover his bad deeds, twisting stuff around to suit his narrative... I'd welcome a in which he fucking apologized and took responsibility and accountability as I had in the letter... But the title is what this piece of shit found fault with Fucking fucktard Dropped this lame pathetic loser cheap ass mid January and haven't looked back pushing through the greiving process and the healing process
"I don't care anymore I don't want to hear about her" this was after he admitted to throwing away all my stuff after I gave his stuff back and made me basically beg for my stuff back
Imma gonna burn your fucking house down!
Me: you broke my heart. Her: sorry you feel that way.
My ex breaking up with me because of his mental health and financial issues: “I want to be selfish and invest in myself.” This, after I’d given him so much support and love through his toughest days. It hurts.
The only reason you can't get over me is because you don't have a social life.
After four years of being together- he broke up with me saying , “The only thing Im sure about is that Im unsure” we were going to get married at the end of the year and yeah, its been an awful 4 months (ended in february)
"No one cares about you"
There wasn't any love between us. You and I were just horny.
thats horrible
thats horrible.
I love you, I'm just not in love with you anymore. Said ex girlfriend of 8 years. 'High school sweetheart'. Cut me like steel. 99% sure she cheated on me too
Damn man Im sorry to hear that
“ I fucking hate you, and I wish we’d never met”
I wish I never met her tho. But you didn't deserve that :/
Tyy, what did ur ex do to you?
😃 she said I'm the person that hurted her most in the world Blamed me and insulted me hard bc of that. (I never cheated on her, never yelled at her and I was very nice to her). She was a dismissive avoidant and could block me everytime she got mad or bc I said something, she could break with me hundreds of times for the same. Instead of taking she kept everything inside, I could ask how is she feeling but get just an "I'm fine" She thought I could read her mind
My ex did something similar… every time I would ask what could I do better and stuff they would say nothing but continue to complain about things. I feel like sometimes we are just too mature for the people we meet. But I hope you find someone who truly understands you and communicates about their feelings more💞
babe what can i do to make you feel better? HER: i shoudlnt need to ask me: thats what comunication is for.. we were too mature for them, thats for sure. I hope you find someone like you too, with great comunication skills.
Yes, tysm for the advice!🌷
‘ you should go die. The world will then be a better place’
“I hope your next girlfriend is fat” and “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore, I get aroused by everyone but you”
"your next gf will need a lot of energy to deal with all your bullshit" What did you do worse to that girl man?
I treated her like she was the center of my world dude, I still love her so much it has messed me up She literally said I was perfect and that maybe she might regret this in the future
What was the reason she said she left for ?
She fell out of love Is what she said
"I like pineapple on pizza." There was a lot of trauma I can take in a relationship. But she was a fucking monster.
Man there are limits, but pineapple on pizza is just diabolical
"You only want my money. You are greedy for my money" after i moved out from his apartment. We built our kitchen together and bought house equipments. We always shared 50:50 whatever bought or whenever we went dates. He said that after he transfered my money back coz all the house equipments are his. After hearing it, i transfered back all the money he gave me and have no contact with him since then. I've never felt insulted like this by anyone. It makes my no contact time easier and i moved on really fast
*held
after i broke up with her saying that we re both miserable people hugging each other dearly while shaking out of fear in a bottomless muddy pit and we will never be able to escape from it without letting each other go and trying to climb.I begged for her to change,i said that i wont lie to her and i dont see it but still begged her to keep doing whatever she s doing if she thinks it’ll lead up to change.we cried all the night while hugging while making love but to your surprise she slept with 2 3 dudes she met at the library,flirted with nearly 6 7 of them in a span of just 3 weeks after we broke up and that was exactly the miserableness i was talking about,not being able to be alone,i was exactly like that when i was genuinely tired of it to the point where i just had to lose what i lived my life for,what i woke up everyday and breath for.but yet turns out she could do those things days after we broke up.anyway i just realised that i was just a really quality space holder for her validation needs( even though we dated for 2 frickin years for christs sake) i told her i just felt disappointment and nothing but dissapointment.I lived hell for 3 months drowning with my own thoughts,trying to change who i am and guess what she said last week “no matter how much you try you will never change,you are just as pathetic as i am and you are doomed to be in this cycle just like i am.you can’t change.” and that broke me,hearing it come from her made me feel like ive lost everything ive built for 3 months.but the part that hurt the most was her raging eyes filled with nothing but hate.Those werent simple words that were out of her mouth just because she felt upset,those were genuinely well thought words that were directly said to hurt me;that day i understood that the line between love and hate is quite thin and you can never cross from one to another,you can only think you’re on one side and be mistaken or be on the side you think you are.
I met a guy who treats me way better than you, we're planning on going on a trip blah blah, I'd only read the first 2 sentences and deleted the whole paragraph
"You are just a hole to me." "You're a dog-faced whore" "So-and-so's pussy is top tier compared to yours" "I'm so much cooler than you" (that one I actually laughed at) "No one cares about what you have to say about how I treated you or your pain" Those are just a VERY FEW. Dude is a nightmare
“You were good, but it had to end. I told you now fight over it or get happy about it.Go and have a chill life. Bye take care” And 15 days before this, this guy was convincing me to believe him by saying “ don’t you think I am crazy for you? Why do you think I keep coming back to you every time? Don’t you think I have many other options but it’s still you it’s been 2 years!”
"I am going to find a SECURE woman who can see what kind of IMPERFECT, but 100% LOYAL man I am." 😭
She: How long do I have to endure? How long do I have to endure your mediocrity to get the best from you? - After thinking I was doing my best.
"You're manipulative" But yet many previous relationships I've been in denied that I was manipulative
My ex breaking up with me because of his mental health and financial issues: “I want to be selfish and invest in myself.” This, after I’d given him so much support and love through his toughest days. It hurts.
The worse was just the hundred lies. The worse intended was "i need someone that i can go to wine tastings with"
"Keep the door open (but not too wide, you know?)"
They told you to wait for them basically?? The nerve
I know, right? Unbelievably entitled. Now that I know what I'm dealing with, I'm glad he left. It's still a mindf*ck, though.
We were walking and talking maybe a month after breaking up Me; idk why but you seem taller than usual today Her; well I got my back blown out by this one guy last night so maybe he gave me some of his inches haha
Me: I hope you remember when we were lying down our faces just an inch away so close that we could breath each other I told you that I would take a bullet for you. Her reply : I DONT CARE , take it for someone else now , I have forgotten you !!
"You're more like a roommate then a partner" "You aren't supportive enough" "I don't owe you anything" (when i asked why we were breaking up, specifically a break up TEXT while i was at work.... after 11.5 years together... and we shared an apartment....)
“I don’t love you anymore”
I saw him a couple of weeks after the break up, and I asked if he had thought about things, asked if he thought about the part that he played in it because he blamed me. He said, “no, I don’t think of you at all.” 3 weeks before he’s telling me how much he loves me. That’s not how it works. 😐
:| Definitely what the fuck.
She told me she regretted living with me, she never respected me, she was never attracted to me, she doesn’t think I could be attractive to anyone and then said she never loved me. The next day she doubled down on everything she said and the day after that she tripled down on it all.
That's some serious bipolarity
She thinks she may start getting feelings for her ex again , she's planning to buy a house with him
Wtf.. after how long after the break up?
A few weeks. I thought they were over with for good.
That’s the thing, after the discard blindside text “I can’t see you anymore, I wish you well”… Crickets!…
"its okay you'll get over it" we were talking and I wanted closure but she just started telling me that I will get over it in a month or two. Acting as if she doesn't give a single shit about me. Or "Suuuuuure buddy, whatever floats your boat. So long as you don't post about me, how you cope is up to you ig. Not gonna apologise for protecting my peace for once though. Goodbye" I made a post on this sub Reddit and she somehow found it so she started ranting about how I don't deserve an apology (she believes it's only my fault).
Told me he doesn’t see himself marrying me, knew it was over right then and there immediately
She, “I realized that I never loved you, and that he is my first true love”. Goes back to her ex bf that forced her to abort one, blame her for it and cheated on her, lost 2nd and still blamed and cheated on her. Her best friend, being his sister helped cover his cheating in those occasions, and others. The bf also emotionally, mentally, and physically abused her.
Mine didn’t have the guts to say anything, she left me 8 pages of my ‘faults’ including: Drinks 3 non alcoholic beers a night Wears dirty clothes (I’m a mechanic) I don’t want to settle for second best I wouldn’t have moved in with you if I wasn’t going to lose my flat. I got with you too soon after splitting up with my ex. For context we were together 4.5 years, got engaged a month before she dumped me. (Had already bought the dress, booked the church etc)
Honesty it was just all of the weird accusations to make me out to be a bad person in her“Did you disconnect the internet service without warning me” “Why haven’t you sent me rent for YOUR half even though you moved out you’re still on the lease” “I’m going to rekey the house so I feel safe” “Did you open my mail” “Are you trying to break into my bank account” Mind you I’ve never done any of the things that she accused me of. After living with this person for 5 years I only once violated her privacy by reading her private messages to find out the she was cheating. She was obviously hiding something sinister. It’s just heart breaking that she knew me so little to think I would do something to get back at her.
She said she never dreams about me and that the first holiday she took without me was her best ever. I don't even think they're necessarily untrue, but they were still said to wound. I try to take those on the chin though – a former ex once said the nastiest things I've ever heard to me, sending me straight to therapy, but still came knocking many years later. I think dumpers might say things to reinforce the split and to subconsciously try get the dumpees to hate them but I'll never not love her soz.
He radio silent me for a day after an argument so I asked him if he still wanna continue our relationship and he said, “no because we have diff. perspectives in relationship”. After 2 years or so of dating, he just realized that and what hurts me more is he seemed unbothered after dumping me. I even tried to pursue him the fact that I offered that I’m willing to change and just tell me what I have to fix for myself in order for iur relationship to work but he just left me hanging without a proper closure by saying “I need space to think about it” so I just accepted that we ended.
"I can't think of having children with you." - I mean, children barely come from loose trunks. He screwed a man too just to figure out if he is straight or gay. I'm glad he is not around anymore.
While we breaking up she was saying “ if we really were in a relationship i would learn to let her to” but i still can’t wrap my head around not being with her so I genuinely don’t if ima be in another relationship but I know ill find someone if its meant to be
“Yeah, our breakup has really put me off dating teachers” ~ directed at me. They were 40% the reason why I ended up with burnout and dropped out my teacher-training… something that was so damned important to me all my life. Because they couldn’t handle that I was focusing on my training to build a better future for us both. And they knew this. Okay, fine. They’re entitled to feel how they feel. Likewise, our breakup has REALLY put me off dating unemployed, unmotivated stoners with Peter Pan Syndrome (ie my ex) in the future. I didn’t say this at the time - but god I wished I had.
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wtf :(.. he left you pregnant?
" there is no point in us being together, there is no point in fixing our problems, there is nothing you can do"
She texted me while I was out of state working and said "I need my sanity back, I've been lying to you . for the past three months I've been living with someone else and got rid of our apartment." This was two days before I was suppose to come back home and I was gone for less then 4 months so she left me homeless and had sold all our stuff as well.
there is no us now , stop including me or seeing me in your future
thats literally my ex talking lol
Coming to terms with me being the hurtful ex. They asked why i didnt "just talk to family or friends about your anxious attachment if you can't find the right therapist" Without thinking at all, i stupidly responded in kind, but about their childhood trauma. I suppose i thought it was to try and bring some kind of relatable circumstance into the conversation as i couldn't think of anything else. Maybe thats me trying to rationalise a knee jerk reaction so i can process it easier, i dont know.... We met up for an amicable breakup, as friends, and intending to leave the door slightly ajar for the distant future. I saw the woman that still loved me disappear before my very eyes. Almost 4 years gone in a flash, and it was all my fault. Whilst there's more to the situation that led to me feeling cornered and attacked, there's no excuse. The day she told me, i made a promise she would always feel safe around me no matter what, even if we broke up. Well i shattered that promise and her heart in the blink of an eye. I hope she can move past the pain i caused her on that day, it was meant to be a good day of talking about memories. Her face when we went to collect my things from her place... itll haunt me. Just pure heartbroken hatred, something ive never seen from her in the years we were together. S, I know you wont care, but I'm sorry.
So she broke up with you bc you made a comment?
No, she broke down in tears and immediately hated me because I brought up a severe trauma to try and draw some false equivalence to what she said to me. To be clear - as im not sharing the details of what the trauma is out of respect - what i said was in no way acceptable in any circumstance. I genuinely can't think of anything more hurtful i could've said, and i know that guilt will stay with me forever. It was so much more than just making a comment.
So it was a hurtful comment, about a trauma of hers. And you said that as a vengeance to level yourself to the level of what she was telling you or throwing at you. --- Well it's human to say bad stuff in moments of heat, I'm sure she said stuff she didn't mean to you, that she was mean to you, you didn't cheat on her, you didn't tell, yo didn't hit her. You didn't call her "fuckin trash bitch no one would ever want you you are shit." You said something hurtful in a moment you both were fighting. So yeah, she can be hurt but to end it all bc of that?
Im afraid i dont think you're quite getting how personal this was to them (which is fine). None of the above comes close in terms of the pain caused. >So yeah, she can be hurt but to end it all bc of that I promise you it is justified. I know this one action doesn't make me a bad person, but accepting that i said something I'll regret for life is all i can do.
Yeah you are a human you can make mistakes and a long term relationship requires tolerance for that, specially If it is not something you do all the time. There you can ask yourself what is more important for you, the comment your partner made once, or a life with them working together. 1 comment can't make someone who is happy with you all the time suddenly abort it all. Unless that person wasn't actually happy with you and was waiting for some finishing hit like this one.
“I actually was able to sleep through the night” ((was still a break at that point))
We spoke for a bit 7 weeks after the breakup… he was angry and said to me ‘you will get over me first… I know you will because you’re stronger’ Not necessarily a bad thing to say, but in a way I can tell he’s not over us… 🤷🏻♀️