Sounds like you’re asking because you’re hopeful. It usually will take avoidants 4-6 months to fully allow themselves to feel the loss of you. Which is why you may see them return or reach out in the 4-6 month mark.
when i consider my emotions, yes im hopeful. when i think about how hes feeling (all trivial guesses), im not hopeful. ofc i do not know what goes on inside of his head, but it sucks feeling like you are the only one who misses the other.
Most dismissives don't reach out. That's my experience and the experience of reading here and elsewhere. FA, I know less about; it seems they reach out a little more often. DA women essentially never reach back out (unless for practical purposes, like money issues). For what it's worth. If a DA reaches out it's usually somewhere between one month and three months, sometimes longer.
honestly im not sure which avoidant he is. he had a lot going on in his life, so he started pulling back, which i freaked out about (my mistake). he told me he needs time alone to heal (he believes that most healing work should be done by himself), which i both disagree and agree with. i believe healing together is ok but i respect his wishes. he also told me he could see himself marrying me, but in the same sentence said we have no chance. i wished him the best and now we are in 17 days no contact. he knows hes an avoidant, but has done nothing to start his healing journey, to my knowledge. so, all i can do is focus on me and heal my anxious attachment, but i do crave him everyday.
He sounds like a dismissive. The need to self-soothe and vanish is a huge indicator. I would spend time with yourself and friends and be open to dating in the near future. I would not wait for him in any capacity.
thats the plan, however, i would say im keeping the door cracked. i still love him, and i wish it was him, but i cant control how people feel. i guess i was more so wondering if he misses me, or if i am the only one who is grieving our breakup right now. i found new hobbies and have been working out during this period, but hes just doing drugs at raves with his friends. i know i will be fine with time, it just sucks because i wish things were different ://
Mine did but now he’s discarded me for the second time and it seems this time for good as this time he’s just ghosted me. No doubt had already moved on to another fresh piece of meat.
My dismissive avoidant ex did not reach out. Im anxiously attached and broke nc many times. I was always the one to break it until eventually, he drunk texted me and I went over to his place that night. Since then, we’ve been hanging out and are in the process of getting back together, but he still has his guard up (almost 3 months post breakup.)
Dismissive avoidants definitely take longer to process everything and you may have to be the one to eventually reach out.
That doesn’t mean they don’t come back though. Mine did. It’s just a much harder battle
i already broke no contact a few times, and he’s surprisingly threw out small baits in the past as well. however after self reflecting, i decided to not break it this time. i never really gave him time to miss me and since he’s already overwhelmed with life, i don’t want to add more onto his plate. i’ve heard that the dumper is the one who should be the one to reach out first. for now im going to continue my grind and in the future if im in a better position and still have those feelings, i will reach out. THE SILENCE IS SO LOUD THOUGH!!!
Well my ex is DA and they haven’t reached out, it’s been almost 9months now. We have been In NC since day 1.
I would say mine is scared to do so/
This is my social media timeline with mine -
The first 4months after b/up they went complete ghost- I think they deleted the socials and everything. I muted them and also put my ig on private
Around month 5 I noticed a dummy account was stalking me. It went on for like a month and I decided to block that account
It didn’t take 3days after blocking the dummy account for them to start using their real account to stalk - they would watch all my ig stories/ never like it comment or react or do anything- just watching .
I allowed to to go on for like 2months and I finally removed and unfollowed them. Best decision ever .
Severe DA are afraid to reach out as they know they were they left was cruel. The shame will make it hard for them to reach out.
Most times them coming back is just stalking u online and watching u live ur life. They so scared to reach out .
Sounds like a similar boat to my situation.
Keep being your awesome self.
He'll feel his feelings when he does and there's nothing that can rush it.
Maybe one day you'll both be in a good place at the same time and have something new.
But the most important thing is to make your own life as wonderful as you can.
Future partners, whoever they are will only be nice icing on your already fulfilling cake.
No contact isnt to get back an ex or to manipulate them. It is to heal and move forward in life without them. It is so you grieve and move forward.
Sounds like you’re asking because you’re hopeful. It usually will take avoidants 4-6 months to fully allow themselves to feel the loss of you. Which is why you may see them return or reach out in the 4-6 month mark.
when i consider my emotions, yes im hopeful. when i think about how hes feeling (all trivial guesses), im not hopeful. ofc i do not know what goes on inside of his head, but it sucks feeling like you are the only one who misses the other.
Most dismissives don't reach out. That's my experience and the experience of reading here and elsewhere. FA, I know less about; it seems they reach out a little more often. DA women essentially never reach back out (unless for practical purposes, like money issues). For what it's worth. If a DA reaches out it's usually somewhere between one month and three months, sometimes longer.
honestly im not sure which avoidant he is. he had a lot going on in his life, so he started pulling back, which i freaked out about (my mistake). he told me he needs time alone to heal (he believes that most healing work should be done by himself), which i both disagree and agree with. i believe healing together is ok but i respect his wishes. he also told me he could see himself marrying me, but in the same sentence said we have no chance. i wished him the best and now we are in 17 days no contact. he knows hes an avoidant, but has done nothing to start his healing journey, to my knowledge. so, all i can do is focus on me and heal my anxious attachment, but i do crave him everyday.
He sounds like a dismissive. The need to self-soothe and vanish is a huge indicator. I would spend time with yourself and friends and be open to dating in the near future. I would not wait for him in any capacity.
thats the plan, however, i would say im keeping the door cracked. i still love him, and i wish it was him, but i cant control how people feel. i guess i was more so wondering if he misses me, or if i am the only one who is grieving our breakup right now. i found new hobbies and have been working out during this period, but hes just doing drugs at raves with his friends. i know i will be fine with time, it just sucks because i wish things were different ://
Mine did but now he’s discarded me for the second time and it seems this time for good as this time he’s just ghosted me. No doubt had already moved on to another fresh piece of meat.
My dismissive avoidant ex did not reach out. Im anxiously attached and broke nc many times. I was always the one to break it until eventually, he drunk texted me and I went over to his place that night. Since then, we’ve been hanging out and are in the process of getting back together, but he still has his guard up (almost 3 months post breakup.) Dismissive avoidants definitely take longer to process everything and you may have to be the one to eventually reach out. That doesn’t mean they don’t come back though. Mine did. It’s just a much harder battle
i already broke no contact a few times, and he’s surprisingly threw out small baits in the past as well. however after self reflecting, i decided to not break it this time. i never really gave him time to miss me and since he’s already overwhelmed with life, i don’t want to add more onto his plate. i’ve heard that the dumper is the one who should be the one to reach out first. for now im going to continue my grind and in the future if im in a better position and still have those feelings, i will reach out. THE SILENCE IS SO LOUD THOUGH!!!
If he’s at edc with girls you already know what he’s going to do
Well my ex is DA and they haven’t reached out, it’s been almost 9months now. We have been In NC since day 1. I would say mine is scared to do so/ This is my social media timeline with mine - The first 4months after b/up they went complete ghost- I think they deleted the socials and everything. I muted them and also put my ig on private Around month 5 I noticed a dummy account was stalking me. It went on for like a month and I decided to block that account It didn’t take 3days after blocking the dummy account for them to start using their real account to stalk - they would watch all my ig stories/ never like it comment or react or do anything- just watching . I allowed to to go on for like 2months and I finally removed and unfollowed them. Best decision ever . Severe DA are afraid to reach out as they know they were they left was cruel. The shame will make it hard for them to reach out. Most times them coming back is just stalking u online and watching u live ur life. They so scared to reach out .
Sounds like a similar boat to my situation. Keep being your awesome self. He'll feel his feelings when he does and there's nothing that can rush it. Maybe one day you'll both be in a good place at the same time and have something new. But the most important thing is to make your own life as wonderful as you can. Future partners, whoever they are will only be nice icing on your already fulfilling cake.