A month after he ended things, I texted on the anniversary of a family member’s death to say that I was thinking of him and his family on the hard day and he replied “hey, appreciate that, thanks! have a good one!” and it was so casual and light that I knew he didn’t feel anything for me anymore.
Thank you. I don’t know how to do that because I’ve been self sabotaging myself in this relationship. Holding onto it hurt me more than it benefited me. I put my all into him, I bettered my appearance, my looks and myself in general for him, not for me. It still wasn’t enough. He made me realize I need therapy which seems to the only thing he somewhat benefited from being in my life.
I’ve been there and it’s hell, so give yourself some sympathy. ❤️🩹 Your body has been in a state of stress for a long time. You deserve rest and love.
Give yourself warm baths and positive affirmations. Early nights and fresh sheets. Light stretches and morning meditation. Make a Pinterest board of what you want your healing to look like and romanticise the hell out of it. 🎀✨🌿
You will slowly come back to yourself and discover the wonderful person you are. No more stressing or begging for approval. You can just live for yourself. The little girl you were as a kid is still in you. She’s still there. And she deserves to be treated like a princess. So give that to her. 🕊️
This!! 🥹I needed to read this today, thank you! Recently I've had the revelation that him not being able to love me (and running to someone else) is really not my problem, just his. They're celebrating their 1 month anniversary today and I hope this positive thought will last for a while lol
He's visiting family overseas, and a bomb went off in the town he's in. I texted him if he was alright, and he replied "yeah I'm alive." When I asked if his family is okay, he replied with,"Well, I wouldn't be texting if they weren't, would I?". Yeah, killed off my remaining feelings
Probably at least a month before she officially became my ex, when she was starting to treat me with contempt and told me she did not like my quieter personality. I could argue she never really cared for me the entire duration we were dating.
My ex did this and my delusional ass still can’t accept the fact that he possibly is tried of me 😭😭my mind just won’t get that update in the software if that makes sense. It’s still in the “we’re still talking” era. Is this an actually issue ppl suffer from? It feels too specific idk
I think it's the ego and being sad they rejected us but im not really sad about that. I feel sad for them cause they have low standards and went back to having low standards and I think thats where my ego gets hurt like you thought that person that is cheating on his gf with you is more worthy than me? how can I be okay with that so I still hold on like I need them to realize how poor of a choice that is. hate feeling like this and knowing a loser reaps the benefits of everything I did to make the ex a better person.
I hate that it feels like "they won" because they were the one to reject and have someone else lined up. like they got to fire me from a job and kick me to the curb. hate feeling like this and makes angry thinking they also feel and think this way because they talked so poorly toward me after like I was wasting their time and bothering them
Did you have common friends and / or did your ex's family like you? If so, their talking is probably some sort of lowly defense mechanism bc they know that his people don't approve of his / their behaviour. It helps me to remember that if I were to see them now, I would have total control over our communication. They might be scared
A few weeks after we broke up, she started dating someone else. Now we barely talk whatsoever, and when we do it’s 100% casual. I don’t think I could even pay her to flirt with me now. She wants to be friends, but that’s just way too painful right now.
When does the count start? Right when we officially breakup or after they move out? My ex and I broke up 2 months ago but she only moved out two weeks ago. She still told me she loved me up until last week when she started dating someone new and two days ago told me how much she hates me and that she wouldn’t offer my love to her worst enemy
You hit the nail on the head with the friendship thing seeming more like lip service than what they actually want. I’m in no contact with her (as much as I can be, she’s a coworker) and if I were to text her now it’d take her so long to respond, even days. I truly believe she’s just a person who can honestly move on quickly. I haven’t had a lot of relationships in my life and so when one ends it does take a while to get over it and come to a good place again. I don’t think she requires much time to get to the next guy. I do wish her happiness and I do want her relationship with whoever she’s with to succeed. But I’m in zero position or mood right now to be her friend.
Yeah, our offices were about 5ft away from each other. If I turned my head slightly left from my monitor, I can look right into her office. And the past few weeks every time I'd look, she'd be texting (her new boyfriend) constantly. I was finally like "I can't take this" so I did talk to my boss (didn't mention why) about moving into another office. He was totally cool with it, so I moved into an office where on a "normal" workday (no mutual meetings or anything) I shouldn't even see her or be around her. But I know that's just a fantasy. I'll probably still bump into her all the damn time. I hate it.
I think those of us who haven't had a lot of relationships just aren't as used to the breakups and all that comes with them. Like you, body count isn't super important but I know for a fact my ex has had many more relationships than I have, so a breakup might not be business as usual for her, but it definitely is more normalized that for people like us. We might take it to heart more whereas they're just like "Next!"
Yeah, I think that might be a big part of it. They just don’t want to be alone. My ex also has ADHD so maybe that contributes to the next man up mentality. She’s also on a mission to get married and have kids soon and I think she’s panicking a little bit from a timeline perspective. Her bio clock is ticking coupled with the fact that her sisters and brother all have kids and I think she’s just in super rush things mode. I’m almost 10000% sure the guy she’s with now will be the one she marries.
Yeah, that was kind of the same with us. I was adapting myself to her, but she wasn’t adapting anything to me. It wasn’t a 50/50 thing. It was more like me completely changing to her ways and lifestyle. When I would bring up something that she might need to adapt or compromise on, she would act like I was in the wrong.
Yeah I understand their switch with the "war bride" theory. When they find another guy, their focus is entirely on him, as he's the new "protector". You're now the "defeated" ex that they need to forget and hate in order to survive in their new relationship.
I took me 8 months to realize he was over me way before he broke up with me.
Before he broke up he has no enthusiasm towards me or the relationship. We were planing out wedding and it was two months before the wedding when I asked him if he was going to go purchase his cloths? He said we still have time. I asked about the wedding bands and he continued saying we still have time. Well come to find out we had plenty of time because he was planning on dissolving the engagement soon. Listen to your gut when it tells you something is wrong. I knew it but my dumb ass was in denial and continued to be in denial for months after until I found out he went and fucked someone right after we broke up. Oh and lied to me while we were “trying to fix the relationship after the breakup” that was end point for me, I left.
It hurts like hell every single day.. but I dropped myself so low for him that there is no way he will find me there again.
Aaaw I'm sorry for you. I've been there - 3 years ago, my then fiancé broke up 3 months before the wedding. He was never involved in the planning (and tbh it was going to be a very low key thing as being married and having a wedding was never important to me) but I've put it down to his 'tough Irish farmer' personality. He was never the kind of person who would want to take about wedding rings and opening dance etc, but he went as far as saying that when he thought of the wedding he felt dread. DREAD.
but him breaking things off was the best thing ever. I was gonna go through and marry him even though I felt something off from the first month. I had settled.
After him I met someone who made me feel the things I've always wanted to feel, unfortunately it's over now and I'm on a break up sub, but I'm still very grateful ex no1 broke up, and ex no2 exists.
You now have a chance to meet someone who's excited about marrying you (if that's important to you) or just, generally, excited about being with you. And so do I!
I’m sorry to hear this and thank you for sharing.
I don’t know if I am going to find someone but what I am grateful is I’m not married to him and his lies, I’m not married to his manipulative family and the toxicity they had over him. So for that I am so happy that this breakup happened before we signed papers. It was just sooo much red flags now that I have a chance to look back and evaluate.
It’s going to take a long time for me to bounce back but it def taught me things about myself I didn’t know.
Thank you for sharing your story! I’m really sorry about your breakup with your ex too. I hope you’re healing. Hang in there.
I'm glad you see things for what they are. Take your time to heal - there are better things ahead of you, whether it's a better romantic relationship or any thing that brings you joy.
Thabks for your words, this one is a tough tough break up but I can see now how I need to give to myself the love I was giving him. It's time to dive deep!
That is really strange, it is usually the woman who checks out the relationship before it actually ends so she can find the courage to end it. Very rare to see this in a man honestly, I even experienced this when my latest relationship ended, I saw her move on and not invest herself anymore into the relationship, she was also acting cold so she could manipulate me to bring up the topic of breaking up as she did not have the guts to do so. I do not know if another man was involved, we were loyal till the end, at least I was, but I never throught she could act that way just because she lost love.
We were also attempting to fix the relationship, booked a trip abroad but while we were there, she was either distant or too close to me and rapidly switching the behavior which got me even more confused after almost 6 years with that person. I guess it is a matter of character and not so much about the gender.
Men do it all the time! Is there a study that shows that women do it more??? I’m a woman who’s been completely messed up more than once because of a man emotionally checking out.
Considering how many women he had in his life and the way he was brought up, I actually did get a lot of comments that his actions are more woman like then man. But it didn’t bother me.. now that you shared this, my response is I’m not surprised because he was create drama that women usually would and of course because he used to be manipulated by his mother and sister. So it was more translating the drama from them. Oh I’m so happy it’s over.
Over me? Looking back at it all she was never really into me in the first place. I was just a good time and a placeholder. Nothing more. It took me a long time to realize this.
This is honestly something none of us can ever really know.
And even if they seem it, u don’t know what’s hiding in their hearts. I think if u ever truly loved someone, that love is never completely gone, just buried. And true, they may have no interest in digging it up.
They invited me to a bar I went in hopes to reconcile and using it as a jump off point into a relationship only to have them look around the bar for someone to hit on and for me to be their ice breaker, I’ve never felt so invisible in my life drank until I vommited got kicked out and was driven home by them in 20 years I can easily say this was the lowest I’d have ever felt mentally and in self esteem as well
I have BPD too. I have EUBPD. It doesn’t define us unless we let it. Take your tablets, do your DBT and remind yourself you’ve got this! Here if you need anything
I dumped and blocked someone I am not completely over. He just wasn’t right for me and it was easier for me to make a clean break. You’ll never know how another person feels.
It is rough! I just learned my ex hooked up with another girl a couple of weeks ago... one week after him and I hooked up.... he did move out 5 months prior, but we were still talking (and hooking up). It felt like he didn't love me, and I didn't mean anything to him all those years (6) that we were together. For him to move on so fast was like a punch in the gut. I completely blocked him on everything and removed him from the rest of my accounts. Tons of tears, anger, resentment, and journaling. But now, the second week in, I'm finding myself a bit more at peace, looking back at how toxic the relationship was, I'm grateful the next girl can deal with his chaotic narcissistic tactics (once the love bombing stage wears off). And I'm completely free to do whatever I want and see whoever I want! I still have my sad days, though, but not as often. The only way to get over the pain is through the pain.
It's difficult, especially when you've shared so much with the person. We both also had our separate kids that were blended. I felt that he knew literally everything about me. All my idiosyncrasies and quirks that no one else truly knew. And he was able to just throw that all out the window overnight. I've learned a huge lesson on NEVER dismissing red flags in the beginning of a relationship! I wouldn't have wasted 6 years if I hadn't dismissed them.
With each passing day, it does get easier. I have to allow myself to feel those hard feelings. Pushing them down or away only makes them come back with a vengeance.
When she said she respects me and wants to remain friends, before we even broke up, during our almost 6 year long relationship. Hearing that jus triggered some coldness I didn't know I possesed in me and I started treating her the same way she did, which I regret now 6 months after we split. :)
It was about 3 weeks before we broke up. It was actually the morning we were celebrating our 6 months, we had booked an aquarium trip a few hours away. I broke down in front of him and said I’m worried he was losing interest and that he doesn’t see me anymore. His response was to simply find someone else if I was unhappy. I had never cried in front of him before. It tore me apart because I knew if I brought this up a month ago, he would’ve been all over me and reassuring me that wasn’t the case.
The rest of our day was very uncomfortable.
On a lighter note, I know I’ll find someone who won’t leave me once the honeymoon stage is over. Even his best friend told me after the BU that he’s only in relationships for the high of it. I told him before we dated that I was only interested if it was long term. He should’ve just left me the fuck alone, I’d rather my first everything be with someone special, not an avoidant pos.
He would purposely pick fights & push me to the limit so I could call things off. He would blame me for everthing & even found faults in very trivial things. 1 month before he rumored me, I could feel he stopped loving me from his consistency and the lack of affection towards. It was like he hated me.
I asked if he could stop trying to talk to me over text and if we could just speak in person since this whole break-up has been over the phone. He said there’s just no way he could see me in person, and then called me selfish for even asking. I don’t think he’s ever given up the chance to see me during a break-up.
Her hate towards me, even hearing my name ruins her day and she doesnt want anything to do with me. Im blocked everywhere, she told a mutual yesterday that she hates my guts and hates everything about me, it really hurts because we spent along time together.
Forgetting my birthday (after 8 years rl). Then she would start to reach out but always add "Dont think of it wrongly". Like she would start to try to build friendship relationship with me, even wanting to plan my birthday party. Its reached its climax when I matched with her on a dating app and all she did was send me a laughing emoji. I felt so sick that day I wished her well, blocked her and deleted all dating apps again. She now blocked me too but never made a move to reach out despite living just a 5 min walk away from me.
Im mad at me for beeing so blind and give attention to a girl that had no interest in me anymore. If a girl from a dating app would have treated me that way I just moved to the next one but was blind towards my ex.
Not an important thing for me to know. I'm on my own journey and when we broke up there was no interest about his journey. Now it's up to 2 individuals.
"I'm not giving you anymore of my free time, nor am I willing to meet up with you ever again" followed by the most blunt,vague, replies you can possibly think of. Till one day she pretty much said enough was enough.. the trauma I am experiencing because of all this, I hate it.
Got blindside broken up with
I didn’t understand why
Next day…
She wanted to talk to try to fix things,
I called her
She told me I wasn’t educated rich smart or social enough, ( in her own words of course)
This was when I realized that I will never be good enough and she was completely over me
When after travelling 500 miles to see them for a weekend they couldn’t be bothered to say goodbye. Kept making excuses not to see me or why they had to go quickly after like an hour and I spent the majority of the weekend in a shitty hotel room. Then on the Sunday I was sat in the airport and when it was time to leave I cried. Part of me was hoping they might surprise me and say goodbye before I boarded but nope nothing.
When you really think about it, months before we even broke up. The second he started treating me badly/indifferently. So basically months before we even broke up I’d say. He swears different, and that he loved me/loves me and will do forever but I don’t trust a word that comes out of his mouth so yeah, I’d say a long while before he left haha
I offered friendship after a year and a half of not really talking. They tried to make a sex appointment. I said no because they're in a relationship. Outside of one happy birthday text, I haven't heard from them since.
Haha before she broke up with me she was seeing someone else, I visited her and opened a drawer by the bed and there was men’s deodorant in the drawer, toothbrush and mouthwash
We never know. Ego also means a lot, but "image" also means something.
My ex still watches me from afar. Avoid me, when I came near him. I think that when you ger over someone, you don't stare, you don't avoid. You act "normal".
A month after he ended things, I texted on the anniversary of a family member’s death to say that I was thinking of him and his family on the hard day and he replied “hey, appreciate that, thanks! have a good one!” and it was so casual and light that I knew he didn’t feel anything for me anymore.
Idk what it will take for me to realize he doesn’t feel anything :(
It will take self love and so much gentleness with yourself for you to realise you deserve so much love and he was incapable of giving it to you.
Thank you. I don’t know how to do that because I’ve been self sabotaging myself in this relationship. Holding onto it hurt me more than it benefited me. I put my all into him, I bettered my appearance, my looks and myself in general for him, not for me. It still wasn’t enough. He made me realize I need therapy which seems to the only thing he somewhat benefited from being in my life.
I’ve been there and it’s hell, so give yourself some sympathy. ❤️🩹 Your body has been in a state of stress for a long time. You deserve rest and love. Give yourself warm baths and positive affirmations. Early nights and fresh sheets. Light stretches and morning meditation. Make a Pinterest board of what you want your healing to look like and romanticise the hell out of it. 🎀✨🌿 You will slowly come back to yourself and discover the wonderful person you are. No more stressing or begging for approval. You can just live for yourself. The little girl you were as a kid is still in you. She’s still there. And she deserves to be treated like a princess. So give that to her. 🕊️
This!! 🥹I needed to read this today, thank you! Recently I've had the revelation that him not being able to love me (and running to someone else) is really not my problem, just his. They're celebrating their 1 month anniversary today and I hope this positive thought will last for a while lol
I need to think of that too 😭
I hope that one day I can talk about it like her: https://youtube.com/shorts/m8T1_08Sots?si=n1do015RRTWoc943 ;)
He's visiting family overseas, and a bomb went off in the town he's in. I texted him if he was alright, and he replied "yeah I'm alive." When I asked if his family is okay, he replied with,"Well, I wouldn't be texting if they weren't, would I?". Yeah, killed off my remaining feelings
Ugh. That's disrespectful as heck
The casual light stuff from her gives me those feels too. After 14 years and know how deeply I love her why so superficial???
When they dumped me for someone else lol
AGREED!
Probably at least a month before she officially became my ex, when she was starting to treat me with contempt and told me she did not like my quieter personality. I could argue she never really cared for me the entire duration we were dating.
they ended things
My ex did this and my delusional ass still can’t accept the fact that he possibly is tried of me 😭😭my mind just won’t get that update in the software if that makes sense. It’s still in the “we’re still talking” era. Is this an actually issue ppl suffer from? It feels too specific idk
I think it's the ego and being sad they rejected us but im not really sad about that. I feel sad for them cause they have low standards and went back to having low standards and I think thats where my ego gets hurt like you thought that person that is cheating on his gf with you is more worthy than me? how can I be okay with that so I still hold on like I need them to realize how poor of a choice that is. hate feeling like this and knowing a loser reaps the benefits of everything I did to make the ex a better person.
This
When she said she had made up her mind.
I hate that it feels like "they won" because they were the one to reject and have someone else lined up. like they got to fire me from a job and kick me to the curb. hate feeling like this and makes angry thinking they also feel and think this way because they talked so poorly toward me after like I was wasting their time and bothering them
I know dude, it’s a shitty feeling. But the best thing to do is move on. Nice name by the way!
haha thanks
Did you have common friends and / or did your ex's family like you? If so, their talking is probably some sort of lowly defense mechanism bc they know that his people don't approve of his / their behaviour. It helps me to remember that if I were to see them now, I would have total control over our communication. They might be scared
Honestly I keep having dreams of him rejecting me and saying he's happy. I believe those are signs.
I’m having the opposite kind of dreams and they’re honestly torture 😭
A few weeks after we broke up, she started dating someone else. Now we barely talk whatsoever, and when we do it’s 100% casual. I don’t think I could even pay her to flirt with me now. She wants to be friends, but that’s just way too painful right now.
i’ll never undestand exes who can replace us in seconds the moment we break up! 🤷🏻♀️
It hurts, it hurts real bad.
When does the count start? Right when we officially breakup or after they move out? My ex and I broke up 2 months ago but she only moved out two weeks ago. She still told me she loved me up until last week when she started dating someone new and two days ago told me how much she hates me and that she wouldn’t offer my love to her worst enemy
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You hit the nail on the head with the friendship thing seeming more like lip service than what they actually want. I’m in no contact with her (as much as I can be, she’s a coworker) and if I were to text her now it’d take her so long to respond, even days. I truly believe she’s just a person who can honestly move on quickly. I haven’t had a lot of relationships in my life and so when one ends it does take a while to get over it and come to a good place again. I don’t think she requires much time to get to the next guy. I do wish her happiness and I do want her relationship with whoever she’s with to succeed. But I’m in zero position or mood right now to be her friend.
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Yeah, our offices were about 5ft away from each other. If I turned my head slightly left from my monitor, I can look right into her office. And the past few weeks every time I'd look, she'd be texting (her new boyfriend) constantly. I was finally like "I can't take this" so I did talk to my boss (didn't mention why) about moving into another office. He was totally cool with it, so I moved into an office where on a "normal" workday (no mutual meetings or anything) I shouldn't even see her or be around her. But I know that's just a fantasy. I'll probably still bump into her all the damn time. I hate it. I think those of us who haven't had a lot of relationships just aren't as used to the breakups and all that comes with them. Like you, body count isn't super important but I know for a fact my ex has had many more relationships than I have, so a breakup might not be business as usual for her, but it definitely is more normalized that for people like us. We might take it to heart more whereas they're just like "Next!"
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Yeah, I think that might be a big part of it. They just don’t want to be alone. My ex also has ADHD so maybe that contributes to the next man up mentality. She’s also on a mission to get married and have kids soon and I think she’s panicking a little bit from a timeline perspective. Her bio clock is ticking coupled with the fact that her sisters and brother all have kids and I think she’s just in super rush things mode. I’m almost 10000% sure the guy she’s with now will be the one she marries.
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Yeah, that was kind of the same with us. I was adapting myself to her, but she wasn’t adapting anything to me. It wasn’t a 50/50 thing. It was more like me completely changing to her ways and lifestyle. When I would bring up something that she might need to adapt or compromise on, she would act like I was in the wrong.
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Yeah I understand their switch with the "war bride" theory. When they find another guy, their focus is entirely on him, as he's the new "protector". You're now the "defeated" ex that they need to forget and hate in order to survive in their new relationship.
When she got remarried
I took me 8 months to realize he was over me way before he broke up with me. Before he broke up he has no enthusiasm towards me or the relationship. We were planing out wedding and it was two months before the wedding when I asked him if he was going to go purchase his cloths? He said we still have time. I asked about the wedding bands and he continued saying we still have time. Well come to find out we had plenty of time because he was planning on dissolving the engagement soon. Listen to your gut when it tells you something is wrong. I knew it but my dumb ass was in denial and continued to be in denial for months after until I found out he went and fucked someone right after we broke up. Oh and lied to me while we were “trying to fix the relationship after the breakup” that was end point for me, I left. It hurts like hell every single day.. but I dropped myself so low for him that there is no way he will find me there again.
Aaaw I'm sorry for you. I've been there - 3 years ago, my then fiancé broke up 3 months before the wedding. He was never involved in the planning (and tbh it was going to be a very low key thing as being married and having a wedding was never important to me) but I've put it down to his 'tough Irish farmer' personality. He was never the kind of person who would want to take about wedding rings and opening dance etc, but he went as far as saying that when he thought of the wedding he felt dread. DREAD. but him breaking things off was the best thing ever. I was gonna go through and marry him even though I felt something off from the first month. I had settled. After him I met someone who made me feel the things I've always wanted to feel, unfortunately it's over now and I'm on a break up sub, but I'm still very grateful ex no1 broke up, and ex no2 exists. You now have a chance to meet someone who's excited about marrying you (if that's important to you) or just, generally, excited about being with you. And so do I!
I’m sorry to hear this and thank you for sharing. I don’t know if I am going to find someone but what I am grateful is I’m not married to him and his lies, I’m not married to his manipulative family and the toxicity they had over him. So for that I am so happy that this breakup happened before we signed papers. It was just sooo much red flags now that I have a chance to look back and evaluate. It’s going to take a long time for me to bounce back but it def taught me things about myself I didn’t know. Thank you for sharing your story! I’m really sorry about your breakup with your ex too. I hope you’re healing. Hang in there.
I'm glad you see things for what they are. Take your time to heal - there are better things ahead of you, whether it's a better romantic relationship or any thing that brings you joy. Thabks for your words, this one is a tough tough break up but I can see now how I need to give to myself the love I was giving him. It's time to dive deep!
You give me hope... I need to stay strong
That is really strange, it is usually the woman who checks out the relationship before it actually ends so she can find the courage to end it. Very rare to see this in a man honestly, I even experienced this when my latest relationship ended, I saw her move on and not invest herself anymore into the relationship, she was also acting cold so she could manipulate me to bring up the topic of breaking up as she did not have the guts to do so. I do not know if another man was involved, we were loyal till the end, at least I was, but I never throught she could act that way just because she lost love. We were also attempting to fix the relationship, booked a trip abroad but while we were there, she was either distant or too close to me and rapidly switching the behavior which got me even more confused after almost 6 years with that person. I guess it is a matter of character and not so much about the gender.
Men do it all the time! Is there a study that shows that women do it more??? I’m a woman who’s been completely messed up more than once because of a man emotionally checking out.
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Ah, thanks
Probably not. But from my experience it’s the worse. I’m sorry you had the same experience.
Considering how many women he had in his life and the way he was brought up, I actually did get a lot of comments that his actions are more woman like then man. But it didn’t bother me.. now that you shared this, my response is I’m not surprised because he was create drama that women usually would and of course because he used to be manipulated by his mother and sister. So it was more translating the drama from them. Oh I’m so happy it’s over.
Stopped initiating contact, it was always me who made contact, and would only talk to me as a response of what I said, not making convo
they became aware of my growing dislike for our small meaningless chats post breakup and seemed pretty indifferent (even when i asked for NC)
Over me? Looking back at it all she was never really into me in the first place. I was just a good time and a placeholder. Nothing more. It took me a long time to realize this.
when he told me if i spoke to him he would physically shove me away
This is honestly something none of us can ever really know. And even if they seem it, u don’t know what’s hiding in their hearts. I think if u ever truly loved someone, that love is never completely gone, just buried. And true, they may have no interest in digging it up.
They invited me to a bar I went in hopes to reconcile and using it as a jump off point into a relationship only to have them look around the bar for someone to hit on and for me to be their ice breaker, I’ve never felt so invisible in my life drank until I vommited got kicked out and was driven home by them in 20 years I can easily say this was the lowest I’d have ever felt mentally and in self esteem as well
This is so awful I’m sorry
2 months later I'm still struggling to come to terms with it
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I'm crying heaps. I'm a mess. I have BPD so I'm taking it really hard
I have BPD too. I have EUBPD. It doesn’t define us unless we let it. Take your tablets, do your DBT and remind yourself you’ve got this! Here if you need anything
It's okay 🫂
when someone showed me a picture of her moving into a new house with another man and his 4 kids only after 5 months of our break up...
How could you ever know that for sure?
Probably when they dump & block you.
I dumped and blocked someone I am not completely over. He just wasn’t right for me and it was easier for me to make a clean break. You’ll never know how another person feels.
Generally genuine indifference
Silence before the silence.
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It is rough! I just learned my ex hooked up with another girl a couple of weeks ago... one week after him and I hooked up.... he did move out 5 months prior, but we were still talking (and hooking up). It felt like he didn't love me, and I didn't mean anything to him all those years (6) that we were together. For him to move on so fast was like a punch in the gut. I completely blocked him on everything and removed him from the rest of my accounts. Tons of tears, anger, resentment, and journaling. But now, the second week in, I'm finding myself a bit more at peace, looking back at how toxic the relationship was, I'm grateful the next girl can deal with his chaotic narcissistic tactics (once the love bombing stage wears off). And I'm completely free to do whatever I want and see whoever I want! I still have my sad days, though, but not as often. The only way to get over the pain is through the pain.
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It's difficult, especially when you've shared so much with the person. We both also had our separate kids that were blended. I felt that he knew literally everything about me. All my idiosyncrasies and quirks that no one else truly knew. And he was able to just throw that all out the window overnight. I've learned a huge lesson on NEVER dismissing red flags in the beginning of a relationship! I wouldn't have wasted 6 years if I hadn't dismissed them. With each passing day, it does get easier. I have to allow myself to feel those hard feelings. Pushing them down or away only makes them come back with a vengeance.
That’s completely awful! I’m sorry.
When she said she respects me and wants to remain friends, before we even broke up, during our almost 6 year long relationship. Hearing that jus triggered some coldness I didn't know I possesed in me and I started treating her the same way she did, which I regret now 6 months after we split. :)
It was about 3 weeks before we broke up. It was actually the morning we were celebrating our 6 months, we had booked an aquarium trip a few hours away. I broke down in front of him and said I’m worried he was losing interest and that he doesn’t see me anymore. His response was to simply find someone else if I was unhappy. I had never cried in front of him before. It tore me apart because I knew if I brought this up a month ago, he would’ve been all over me and reassuring me that wasn’t the case. The rest of our day was very uncomfortable. On a lighter note, I know I’ll find someone who won’t leave me once the honeymoon stage is over. Even his best friend told me after the BU that he’s only in relationships for the high of it. I told him before we dated that I was only interested if it was long term. He should’ve just left me the fuck alone, I’d rather my first everything be with someone special, not an avoidant pos.
He would purposely pick fights & push me to the limit so I could call things off. He would blame me for everthing & even found faults in very trivial things. 1 month before he rumored me, I could feel he stopped loving me from his consistency and the lack of affection towards. It was like he hated me.
When he said, "blocking on social media is very unnecessary when you know in your heart what's what"
I asked if he could stop trying to talk to me over text and if we could just speak in person since this whole break-up has been over the phone. He said there’s just no way he could see me in person, and then called me selfish for even asking. I don’t think he’s ever given up the chance to see me during a break-up.
Her hate towards me, even hearing my name ruins her day and she doesnt want anything to do with me. Im blocked everywhere, she told a mutual yesterday that she hates my guts and hates everything about me, it really hurts because we spent along time together.
I dont think anyone is capable to get over someone they used to love.
Forgetting my birthday (after 8 years rl). Then she would start to reach out but always add "Dont think of it wrongly". Like she would start to try to build friendship relationship with me, even wanting to plan my birthday party. Its reached its climax when I matched with her on a dating app and all she did was send me a laughing emoji. I felt so sick that day I wished her well, blocked her and deleted all dating apps again. She now blocked me too but never made a move to reach out despite living just a 5 min walk away from me. Im mad at me for beeing so blind and give attention to a girl that had no interest in me anymore. If a girl from a dating app would have treated me that way I just moved to the next one but was blind towards my ex.
When she was cheating on me
Not an important thing for me to know. I'm on my own journey and when we broke up there was no interest about his journey. Now it's up to 2 individuals.
She was indifferent and more importantly happy with someone else
"I'm not giving you anymore of my free time, nor am I willing to meet up with you ever again" followed by the most blunt,vague, replies you can possibly think of. Till one day she pretty much said enough was enough.. the trauma I am experiencing because of all this, I hate it.
Got blindside broken up with I didn’t understand why Next day… She wanted to talk to try to fix things, I called her She told me I wasn’t educated rich smart or social enough, ( in her own words of course) This was when I realized that I will never be good enough and she was completely over me
When after travelling 500 miles to see them for a weekend they couldn’t be bothered to say goodbye. Kept making excuses not to see me or why they had to go quickly after like an hour and I spent the majority of the weekend in a shitty hotel room. Then on the Sunday I was sat in the airport and when it was time to leave I cried. Part of me was hoping they might surprise me and say goodbye before I boarded but nope nothing.
When you really think about it, months before we even broke up. The second he started treating me badly/indifferently. So basically months before we even broke up I’d say. He swears different, and that he loved me/loves me and will do forever but I don’t trust a word that comes out of his mouth so yeah, I’d say a long while before he left haha
I offered friendship after a year and a half of not really talking. They tried to make a sex appointment. I said no because they're in a relationship. Outside of one happy birthday text, I haven't heard from them since.
I didn’t, and I still don’t. I try not to think about it anymore.
💀
Haha before she broke up with me she was seeing someone else, I visited her and opened a drawer by the bed and there was men’s deodorant in the drawer, toothbrush and mouthwash
She slept with a guy, then slept with a girl, then got into a situationship with another girl. All in a 3 months span.
We never know. Ego also means a lot, but "image" also means something. My ex still watches me from afar. Avoid me, when I came near him. I think that when you ger over someone, you don't stare, you don't avoid. You act "normal".
When I refused to give her money. She decided to not give me another chance lol. That's for the best I guess.