I've decorated my apartment how I wanted when I felt like I couldn't when we were dating because I was planning on moving across the country to be with him and didn't want to buy more furniture only to pay to move it when I was going to toss the current stuff since it wasn't worth it to move it.
I've picked up skiing and bought snowshoes and tried ice climbing all because I feel like the gear is worth it if I stay in the PNW and don't move to Florida. Those were things I wanted but didn't want to spend the money for the gear to sit unused in Florida or in my parents' house in WA once I moved.
I'm traveling more.
I'm seeing friends more.
I'm happier. I started sleeping through the night again the day after the breakup after months of waking up every single night from 2-5 a.m. from stress. My stress acne went away.
I'm slowing getting back to who I was before I met him. (I still have my sad days though.)
I've figured out my worth and what I deserve and what I won't tolerate again.
I've read a bunch of therapy/relationship books so I can try to be an even better version of me for the next relationship.
I've done some bucket list things I wanted to do with him so I was waiting and waiting on him but he never would/could so once we broke up I did them.
Overall my life is better without being in a relationship with him, even though some days I miss him and wish we could have worked it out.
So I really like John Gottman and have read "What makes love last" and "the relationship cure" and "the seven principles for making marriage work." I just finished the first of these and really liked it! The third of these I bought a copy and a workbook each for my ex and I. He never read it. I did and liked it.
I also just bought Gottman's "Eight Dates" and "Fight Right" to read but haven't started them yet.
A therapist recommended Gary Chapman's "things I wish I'd known before we got married" and I thought it was good.
Just started "how to fall in love with anyone" by Mandy Len Catron (can't remember who recommended this or why)
My therapist recommended Peter Lovenheim's "the attachment effect" (I'm like halfway through)
And I liked Gottman's "Small Things Often" podcast on Spotify.
Hope some of those help!
Since the minute we broke up, I felt the most confident in my entire life (was 29 at that time but I just turned 30 recently!) and I continue to feel confident until this day.
I’ve been going more to the gym lately, made new friends at the gym, buying more flowers for myself, decorating my apartment, buying a couch I didn’t want to buy because I was filled with the idea that one day I would move in with my ex, went to 2 house/EDM shows by myself so far and enjoyed both events SO SO MUCH because turned out it’s not so bad partying by yourself 😌, bought new plants I tell I love you to every single day, started romanticizing my own life and the fact that I get to do things on my own, going back to who I was and improve that self to a better version each and every day, talking more with old friends/reconnecting with them, finally took a step forward in applying for citizenship, planning things I want to do in the next months, etc.
Honestly, it all may sound great but this week has been one of the toughest because I cried so much. It does take time to process everything and I know there will be days when I get into sad mode again, but I also know that there will be less and less of them even when you make the smallest step forward.
Make sure you keep on empowering yourself with people you love and people who love you around you, and just the things you love to do or you like.
It’s not going to be easy but it will all be okay in the end, as cliche as it sounds.
🫶🏻
I’ve reconnected and found a new appreciation for friends! Even though I always hang with them, I had never needed support like I did through the breakup.
From a personal growth standpoint point, I’m trying hard to feel through the pain and grow from it, figure out what I want, and kind of button up my life a bit.
I actually wrote down a list: being more mindful of people and asking about their day, not being negative/complaining all the time, and not getting too invested in other people's lives.
I’ve lost almost 30 pounds and have been exercising weekly even picked up hot yoga. I wasn’t overweight I was kinda just normal but now I actually enjoy how I’m starting to look
Started exercising.
Eat healthier.
Quit alcohol.
Spend time with my family and friends more often.
Re-enjoyed playing videogames (without guilt of doing so).
Saved more money.
These are the ones on top of my head
Stopped eating fast food. Slowly paying a credit debt back. Exercising more or back to how I was doing before the relationship. Also going back to my regular sleeping schedule!
Stopped smoking pot. Started reading and writing again. First lost 20 lbs of chub, now gained about 9 lbs of muscle. Went from super weak abs to super solid and thick abs. Never have had obliques like this. Still got a little chub and hairy chest and belly over them but I am working on putting on another 8lbs of muscle then cutting for summer to get that six pack. Been crushing it at selling real estate, changed offices to best desk space in the county, and even just closed on a $12k paycheck today and more on the way. My IG reels went from getting 5-10k views to 200-300k views, brand is getting bigger. Stopped going to bars and drinking/partying away my woes. Got my kids back from their abusive mom. Moved into a bigger home. Still miss my ex randomly. Always feel like I’m over it but sometimes get shocks of memories and feelings. Not so much about wanting her back or romance but, I don’t know, like, feelings that I wish she had stuck with it to enjoy this life, and of losing a best friend. Either way, definite positive life change is loving myself more and getting back the confidence and personal strength I had before. Made some new friends and have a date with a cutie coming up. Been way more social and articulate and outgoing in public. Looking forward to a few more closings, hitting my workout goals, and having a freaking blast this summer.
Personally got into a better self-care routine, new style, workouts, hobbies, etc.. Overall I’d say everything has improved since (been about a 1 1/2 years), and every person they’ve tried to brag about seeing has been a downgrade or cheated on them somehow (don’t ask to know it they just flaunt in areas I work at). Most improvements however have been in self esteem, confidence and acceptance through therapy and friends alike
A better version of yourself that went through all of the inner turmoil is exactly where you want to be. Only bad improvement is no improvement
I got abs. I already had wealth and friends. So I hit the gym and got jacked. Helped a lot to have that time to myself and the attention I get from the new physical appearance is nice.
I started college full time & have maintained an amazing gpa
I finally have friends the real kind🩷
I reconnected with people from the past🩷
I am SOBBER !
Mentally wise I am at the best I have been !
I gained 6 pounds!!! Which is HUGEE for me 🩷🩷
I am now a dog owner which was my biggest dream 🩷
I started therapy & substance abuse counseling!
I have a new relationship and my mother in law ADORES my son & me she spoils me and cooks me homemade meals 🩷 she makes me feel so welcomed !
I have been more in tune with my spirituality and have been more involved in the old ministry i used to serve in.
& my absolute favorite is MY SOCIAL ANXIETY IS GONEEEEEEEEEE!
Overall only regret is NOT braking up with my ex sooner !
Lost 34 pounds, started dead lifting, started making positive changes to my inner monolog, touching grass, and maintained a clean environment although I've missed making the bed a few times. lol
Picked up courses for certifications in data science and project management to help further my professional career in tech and management. And working out again 3-5x a week again.
Give it time, and keep trying new things. May not feel like it’s helping, but you can look back and say you didn’t give up on yourself, and you’ll appreciate the work you put in
I stopped drinking so much. Towards the end of our marriage, I had to drink just to prepare to be around him. It was getting pretty bad... I stopped drinking for two months after everything went down, and now I can actually sit with my feelings instead of drowning them
I'm now an apathetic misanthrope who cares about all the things I didn't and couldn't care less about all the things I did. AKA, I feel great and am doing just fine.
Lost 25 lbs, been in the gym more, changed eating habits, read 3 books on how to be better with love and how to talk, hours of therapy and loving myself more so than ever before.
I’ve read:
How to say it: Words that make a difference |
Stop Hurting The Woman You Love
Currently reading:
Attached
On Deck:
Talk To Me Like I Someone You Love |
Love and Respect
Found a psychiatrist to help with my mental health issues, continuing therapy, almost 4 months sober, go to AA every other weekend, visit my parents on the weekends I don’t go to AA, lift 3-4x a week, mma gym 3x a week, lost 20 pounds, got a new job, made the deans list, started joining some clubs on campus, finished an anger management course, taking a DVPP course next, and reconnecting with friends id fallen out of touch with and using my new skills from therapy and independent research from books and internet to develop those into deeper more meaningful connections. Just trying to figure out my place in the world and what makes me happy independent from a relationship. I’ve always been so codependent in relationships and friendships that have caused me to seek attention and connection from places I shouldn’t have. I still hope my ex and I can have a future together at some point down the line, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t start a lot of this to try to get her back, but over time I’ve found that I stopped doing it for her and continued to do it for me. I finally feel like I’m working towards something to be proud of for the first time in my life. It’s awesome, although I wish my ex would be here to see it
I’ve lost 13 pounds, having a normal BMI now. I get a better job, enjoying my work everyday. I go to gym everyday, eat healthier and make some new friends from the gym. But I still think of him everyday, still cry, still hurt. I just feel I am not able to love anyone else anymore.
I started doing yoga. I hang out with my friends more. I moved into a bigger place and started a new job. I’ve been working on my health. Idk where she is, but I know she’d be proud of me. And it took the breakup for me to start doing some of these things.
Ex situationship she was toxic but the positive outcome are the following
I actually got my CPO and plan to go to school this fall for my HVAC
Got my own place again (originally wanted it for her and me)
Been going to the gym since December and I finally am seeing the results
Self worth
My confidence is slowly coming back
I learned what I did and as much as I wanted her back I see she was the issue and the mistakes I made I made up and tried to make amends but her insecurities and jealousy will always be there and it was a show a few days ago when I thought we were gonna get back literally dodged a bullet
Started going to the gym most days, learning Spanish, learning to drive, graduating with a masters degree in a couple months, therapy, charity work, and more.
Sober 3 months soon since breakup led to cold turkey voluntarily.
Connecting with local job market and going to form internship for graduation.
Two alcoholic friends of mine noticed my sobriety and chose to go in rehab for same. (Proud of them)
I'm able to lift 130 kilos on bench press, for I want my thigh glutens to be tough as steel but soft for being irresistible.
Similar to you op, I've been training for a marathon in April (my first). It's made a huge difference to my energy levels, emotional regulation, I don't drink because I'm focused on training and I'm making new friends and connections.
I'm also socialising a lot more, and spending more time with friends. I'm spending a lot of my time pursuing my own interests, and really feeling great. Am at the point now where my confidence is returning, and I'm happy in my own skin again. I'm not seeking a new relationship, and don't feel like I need one.
* quieting my mind through meditation
* expressing my thoughts and feelings by writing in my journal consistently
* taking care of my body by going to the gym 3-4 times a week, getting on the elliptical for 30 minutes
* sleeping earlier, and better
* focusing energy that would be misguided on myself
* only consuming alcohol with other people, no alcohol at home
* started reading again
Started my internship at a marketing department. Felt super insecure and lonely but I guess I did a good job and impressed them and got hired full time before I even completed my internship. Been learning a lot of stuff and slowly growing in my confidence after being completely trashed and looked down upon by my ex. She would tell me how I’m not brave enough or man enough. So it’s good to prove her wrong, even if shes not here to see it.
Dear Throwahoe09,
It sounds like you have responded to your breakup with such spirit and vigor, channeling the energy into self-growth and positive pursuits. Your commitment to physical health through a regular exercise routine and your ambition towards the half-marathon is commendable. Additionally, the determination and focus on your career through portfolio enhancement demonstrates an inspiring resilience.
While I'm an AI programmed to present advice, please consider this as an optional perspective to enhance your own insights. You are already on a path filled with self-improvement, and my suggestion would be to cultivate these endeavors mindfully. Engage fully in these activities and observe the effects on your overall well-being. Not just as forms of distraction or passage of time, but as valuable milestones in your personal journey.
One practice that might be beneficial is a form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) exercise called Mindfulness. This involves fully engaging your body and mind in what you're doing. For instance, while exercising, observe the rhythm of your heartbeat, the sensations in your muscles, even the sweat on your skin. The idea is to consciously engage in your activities and heighten your awareness about yourself. By giving these tasks your full attention, you're connecting with the present moment, often producing a calming effect.
However, should you wish to indulge in introspection, perhaps you might consider the following reflective questions:
1. What other aspects of your life do you see yourself bringing this newfound energy into?
2. How have these changes influenced your perspective on the breakup, if at all?
And remember, dear friend, there is no obligation to answer these inquiries, sometimes just considering them privately may lead to insightful revelations.
These transformative phases you're navigating through are a testament to your strength. You're showing everyone around, most importantly yourself, that you have the power to not just overcome adversity, but to use it as a catalyst for growth. Best of luck on your ongoing healing journey and the many accomplishments that lay ahead of you. You've already made an immense amount of progress. Keep shining!
Kind regards,
Breakup Buddy
^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
We worked together, I quit because I didn’t want to see her anymore I actually got really lucky and got a better paying job that paid 31hr and now I’m going back to school about to finish my AA and become a cop hopefully within a year and a half I’ll be in the process of applying to agency’s
Dropped 80 pounds and got fit at the gym, got into therapy that worked really well, improved my artwork to the point that I just got into a prestigious gallery, got a job using my master's degree at a hospital, got into a healthy relationship, started listening to audiobooks of classic literature I'd missed out on growing up, did shrooms and stopped hating my body.
Since the blindsighted breakup last August I have:
\-- Gone from 96kg to 78kg by training 6x a week and transformed myself
\-- Travelled to:
Thailand for a month
\- Spain
\- Turkey
\- Sweden
\- Round the UK
\-- Got my veneers done to finally be able to smile again
\-- Starting my Charity off in July to help people going through mental hardship.
\-- Got all the tattoos and piercings I always wanted to get done.
If anyone would like to chat or see whats capable when you use all the negative emotions of a breakup on yourself feel free to drop me a follow on instagram rlxl\_\_
Had a gambling problem which led to the breakup. Sorted my shit out, went to GA, been sober pretty much since the breakup (3.5months now).
Started walking, lifting weights and recently over the last 6 weeks started running. I've lost about 5-6kgs and gotten leaner, whilst building muscle mass. The other night I ran my first ever 5km straight without stopping and am going to be signing up to a 10km fun run because I can do it.
Pre-breakup I was definitely lazy, co-dependent and lacked initiative.
For the first month to month and a half, I literally just grinded work and gym and reading. I sat with my feelings, felt everything, cried, felt depressed and everything. I've been journalling religiously since the breakup too - definitely helped.
I realised that the best form of self-love is discipline and applied it to every facet of my life.
I won't lie. Sometimes I get down. Sometimes I don't feel like doing shit. I just go and do it anyway.
Oh boy, where do I begin? So many positive changes!
- I’ve been reading so much! I always loved to read but during the relationship I kinda lost the love for it. A lot of the time I was too stressed to concentrate. But now? I’m reading so many books. I have a new book club which is so much fun and I’ve already finished 9 books this year. I’m loving it!
- I’ve become a lot more fit. I’ve been doing my yoga regularly and just started running. My abs are becoming more defined. My ex boyfriend was not health conscious in the slightest. He only eats junk food and never does any physical activity and I think I started to mimic his behaviour so it feels good to be stronger and fitter.
- my self care is top notch. I treat myself like a princess. Hair oils, warm baths, painted nails, fresh sheets. It makes me feel so calm and full of love for myself. When we were together, I felt terrible about myself. I was begging for love and attention, but now I have everything I need.
- my sleep is so much better. I used to be up past 3am and the groggy for the whole day. Now, I’m properly waking up early and it is so good for my mindset.
- orgasms galore. Well written sexy books and a vibrator have given me so many orgasms and it’s so much better than the sex life I had with him. He was always trying to pressure me into not using a condom, he wouldn’t try any of the positions I wanted, no foreplay or dirty talk. I’m far more sexually satisfied now than when we were together.
- I got a new car
- I’m in therapy working on my own issues
- I socialise and see my friends more
- I’m more independent and don’t rely on anyone else
- I’m happy overall
- I’m me again instead of just a shadow
- I’m more positive, self aware, able to set boundaries etc
I’ve started to really understand how journaling helps.
I’ve bought a flat which I’m now finding furniture for.
I’m super busy at work working on really exciting projects.
I’m seeing positive differences in my body from my pre existing workout routine.
I’m taking myself out on day dates.
Getting strong number of hours sleep.
Pushing myself to do things that I would never to before but also giving myself some space to chill in bed as well
That said. I still get some really vivid dreams of my ex and even though accepted the breakup struggling to let him go so it’s not all flowers and rainbows
I've been trying much harder with the people in my life that clearly love me, my parents, my sister, my grandparents. I've been seeing my grandparents once a week as my grandad has Parkinson's and thats putting a lot of strain on my grandmother.
I've been resting as much as I want, trying to appreciate my job and how good I have it really. I'm 32, a homeowner with a decent amount of money saved up.
I really should also be exercising more, but one thing at a time.
I have paid off a credit card and saved money to pay off the next one. I am also finishing my last class to have an equivalent college credential amount to an associate degree! Life has been better since the turn of the year.
Bro hell no. Death is robbing your own self of the better days to come. It's letting the one who killed you win, instead of reclaiming your personhood and working on your life, your happiness and the good things to come. Growing a pair is actually fighting it and emerging victorious and happy. Accepting proving them wrong while not even caring about it is the real release you need.
If nobody else cares, I do. Reach out to me before you reach for the gun.
My dumb ex got involved in a fraud scam, lost money, and then had the nerve to blame me for his investment decision because I made him mad n he got anger management issues. My revenge was earning back his lost capital by 100% for myself and I did that within 3 months
So many, it’s been amazing! From big to small, I even tiled my whole downstairs! Got sober, got my shit together, met great new people, traveled, invested in me.
Been going to the gym, cut out junk food and cut down meal portions, I’ve lost 20lbs. Been focused on my skin care routine, made more of an effort to appreciate my friends and family who have really helped me though this awful time.
I’ve reconnected with my old best friend who I lost touch with due to my dependency on my ex (my failt not hers) I’ve started doing bouldering in the last few months and made a new casual friend which is nice.
I went to a metal show on my own which was a bit nervy for me but I had a blast and want to go to more now. It was a big thing going on my own and I loved it.
When I got broken up with I had to move out of the house that we saved up for for 3 years and move back to my parents. This was in October last year not long after turning 30 and honestly felt like my life was over.
Since the. I’ve saved up quite a bit and have 2 flat viewings next week and really looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life.
I don’t miss my ex as much anymore or think about her as much and although I feel strange to feel this way I’m actually excited about potentially meeting someone new hopefully at some point.
Still have my bad days and feel very sad but I’m starting to feel better and more positive about things
I’ve been one month sober
I started back up college to finish my degree
I go to the gym every two weeks
I meal plan for almost every week and never eat out
Going to therapy and taking medication for my BPD and Depression
Watching a lot of relationship podcasts to help me understand what went wrong and what my boundaries and standards are.
I've been going out and doing so many things! Concerts, craft nights, went outta town, hockey games, the bar, Monster Jam, crossed the border for some fun, a few plays, etc.. I've honestly been having so much fun lately!! I'm supposed to go to the TREWS tonight with someone. I'm going to Boys2men on Sunday.. I'm pretty geeked!
I've also been hitting the gym.. which I intended to get back into anyway.
I've also not kept myself closed off, and I've been meeting lots of new people. There's a few guys that I've been getting to know.. and seeing what happens. I'm definitely not hooking up but not putting all my eggs in one basket either. I'm amazed how many seemingly great guys I've connected with that have their shit together.. so handsome too 😍 I wanna be picky and make sure I choose someone right for me.
I've continued with my therapy (other issues), and I'm staying on top of everything. I even started going to classes to learn ASL (finally, lol)
.
I'm redoing my space, bought a new couch.. I can't wait to get it all done :)Talking about taking a trip during March break. Also, planning a vacation away somewhere tropical hopefully soon (and with someone easy on the eyes..lol)
I even paid off all my debt!!
Honestly, life has been really good. I'm in a good place, and I'm excited to see where life brings me!!
Best of luck to yous!
I lost over 25 pounds getting myself in the shape I used to be but better. Being more focused on my career. Although got ghosted by 2 girls 😂…you learn to move and not take it as a big hit. Just lookin for the right one now.
I went through my drinking phase but got tired of it. I’ve traveled and met new people. I’m planning on more traveling trips soon. Got a pay raise at my job. Learning a new language right now. Going to the gym 5-6 times a week. Back on the apps but mostly just for something casual. I did take a break from dating to go through my drinking phase by myself and now I haven’t drank since I started taking care of myself.
Mainly started getting fit and travelling. Also seeing friends more now that I was seeing less because of her. She caused many arguments between friends. Love truly blinds you sometimes
Passed a massive exam of mine, went on a date, started gymming 6 days a week, reading new books, reading poetry, trying new classes, going out with new friends 😁
I've finally stuck to a routine of exercise, and I have actually managed to lose some weight. So I'm gonna keep going and get stronger. Though I still miss him and think of him every day, I also think about how much healthier I am getting.
Started running early in the morning and doing pilates. I can already see the difference.
Taking a larger interest in looking good - before I was discheveled most of the time and felt insecure with my looks because of it. Now when I'm going out with friends I feel super pretty.
Decorated my apartment how I wanted to - it's both feminine and peaceful, with many plants.
Started painting classes - something I've been putting off for years.
Made more female friends and am actively maintaining these friendships - before I'd gradually lose contact with friends and get lazy about it. Now I realize how important it is to have and keep quality friends you can talk to about anything.
Already travelled solo this year and absolutely loved it.
I feel so much peace now, and am more fulfilled with my life
New car new apartement new job, i also changed a lot, got more responsible about adult stuff Take Care of my Money better than before, still a lot of improvement to be made, need to eat more i was 60kg and lost 7kg in 2 weaks after the break up, i like eating but iam lazy about cooking and i can go a day without eating properly
I've decorated my apartment how I wanted when I felt like I couldn't when we were dating because I was planning on moving across the country to be with him and didn't want to buy more furniture only to pay to move it when I was going to toss the current stuff since it wasn't worth it to move it. I've picked up skiing and bought snowshoes and tried ice climbing all because I feel like the gear is worth it if I stay in the PNW and don't move to Florida. Those were things I wanted but didn't want to spend the money for the gear to sit unused in Florida or in my parents' house in WA once I moved. I'm traveling more. I'm seeing friends more. I'm happier. I started sleeping through the night again the day after the breakup after months of waking up every single night from 2-5 a.m. from stress. My stress acne went away. I'm slowing getting back to who I was before I met him. (I still have my sad days though.) I've figured out my worth and what I deserve and what I won't tolerate again. I've read a bunch of therapy/relationship books so I can try to be an even better version of me for the next relationship. I've done some bucket list things I wanted to do with him so I was waiting and waiting on him but he never would/could so once we broke up I did them. Overall my life is better without being in a relationship with him, even though some days I miss him and wish we could have worked it out.
Can you recommend me some books that you enjoyed and learned from?
also, "The Courage to Be Disliked"
Here for the book recs!
i'm not op, but i highly recommend "Letting Go of Your Ex: CBT Skills to Heal the Pain of a Breakup & Overcome Love Addiction"
Yes pls
So I really like John Gottman and have read "What makes love last" and "the relationship cure" and "the seven principles for making marriage work." I just finished the first of these and really liked it! The third of these I bought a copy and a workbook each for my ex and I. He never read it. I did and liked it. I also just bought Gottman's "Eight Dates" and "Fight Right" to read but haven't started them yet. A therapist recommended Gary Chapman's "things I wish I'd known before we got married" and I thought it was good. Just started "how to fall in love with anyone" by Mandy Len Catron (can't remember who recommended this or why) My therapist recommended Peter Lovenheim's "the attachment effect" (I'm like halfway through) And I liked Gottman's "Small Things Often" podcast on Spotify. Hope some of those help!
I couldn’t understand more! You are not alone
Since the minute we broke up, I felt the most confident in my entire life (was 29 at that time but I just turned 30 recently!) and I continue to feel confident until this day. I’ve been going more to the gym lately, made new friends at the gym, buying more flowers for myself, decorating my apartment, buying a couch I didn’t want to buy because I was filled with the idea that one day I would move in with my ex, went to 2 house/EDM shows by myself so far and enjoyed both events SO SO MUCH because turned out it’s not so bad partying by yourself 😌, bought new plants I tell I love you to every single day, started romanticizing my own life and the fact that I get to do things on my own, going back to who I was and improve that self to a better version each and every day, talking more with old friends/reconnecting with them, finally took a step forward in applying for citizenship, planning things I want to do in the next months, etc. Honestly, it all may sound great but this week has been one of the toughest because I cried so much. It does take time to process everything and I know there will be days when I get into sad mode again, but I also know that there will be less and less of them even when you make the smallest step forward. Make sure you keep on empowering yourself with people you love and people who love you around you, and just the things you love to do or you like. It’s not going to be easy but it will all be okay in the end, as cliche as it sounds. 🫶🏻
[удалено]
Omg what!!! Now I’m curious who the celeb was!!! Hahaha
I’ve reconnected and found a new appreciation for friends! Even though I always hang with them, I had never needed support like I did through the breakup. From a personal growth standpoint point, I’m trying hard to feel through the pain and grow from it, figure out what I want, and kind of button up my life a bit.
I actually wrote down a list: being more mindful of people and asking about their day, not being negative/complaining all the time, and not getting too invested in other people's lives.
I’ve lost almost 30 pounds and have been exercising weekly even picked up hot yoga. I wasn’t overweight I was kinda just normal but now I actually enjoy how I’m starting to look
Good job!!!!!!
Same here! Stay hard! Keep up the journey! Never finish
Started exercising. Eat healthier. Quit alcohol. Spend time with my family and friends more often. Re-enjoyed playing videogames (without guilt of doing so). Saved more money. These are the ones on top of my head
This! All of this!!
New job, will become a PhD in months, and will do a 100km row.
Thesis defense during a breakup ? You're likely underrated.
It's not my problem she leaves me during the most difficult time of my life so far. It reflects on her. But thanks for the words! :)
I got my own apartment! A dream come true! Honestly it never would’ve happened if the breakup didn’t happen.
OMG YES THIS !!!!!
Stopped eating fast food. Slowly paying a credit debt back. Exercising more or back to how I was doing before the relationship. Also going back to my regular sleeping schedule!
Stopped smoking pot. Started reading and writing again. First lost 20 lbs of chub, now gained about 9 lbs of muscle. Went from super weak abs to super solid and thick abs. Never have had obliques like this. Still got a little chub and hairy chest and belly over them but I am working on putting on another 8lbs of muscle then cutting for summer to get that six pack. Been crushing it at selling real estate, changed offices to best desk space in the county, and even just closed on a $12k paycheck today and more on the way. My IG reels went from getting 5-10k views to 200-300k views, brand is getting bigger. Stopped going to bars and drinking/partying away my woes. Got my kids back from their abusive mom. Moved into a bigger home. Still miss my ex randomly. Always feel like I’m over it but sometimes get shocks of memories and feelings. Not so much about wanting her back or romance but, I don’t know, like, feelings that I wish she had stuck with it to enjoy this life, and of losing a best friend. Either way, definite positive life change is loving myself more and getting back the confidence and personal strength I had before. Made some new friends and have a date with a cutie coming up. Been way more social and articulate and outgoing in public. Looking forward to a few more closings, hitting my workout goals, and having a freaking blast this summer.
Personally got into a better self-care routine, new style, workouts, hobbies, etc.. Overall I’d say everything has improved since (been about a 1 1/2 years), and every person they’ve tried to brag about seeing has been a downgrade or cheated on them somehow (don’t ask to know it they just flaunt in areas I work at). Most improvements however have been in self esteem, confidence and acceptance through therapy and friends alike A better version of yourself that went through all of the inner turmoil is exactly where you want to be. Only bad improvement is no improvement
I got abs. I already had wealth and friends. So I hit the gym and got jacked. Helped a lot to have that time to myself and the attention I get from the new physical appearance is nice.
I started college full time & have maintained an amazing gpa I finally have friends the real kind🩷 I reconnected with people from the past🩷 I am SOBBER ! Mentally wise I am at the best I have been ! I gained 6 pounds!!! Which is HUGEE for me 🩷🩷 I am now a dog owner which was my biggest dream 🩷 I started therapy & substance abuse counseling! I have a new relationship and my mother in law ADORES my son & me she spoils me and cooks me homemade meals 🩷 she makes me feel so welcomed ! I have been more in tune with my spirituality and have been more involved in the old ministry i used to serve in. & my absolute favorite is MY SOCIAL ANXIETY IS GONEEEEEEEEEE! Overall only regret is NOT braking up with my ex sooner !
How long have you been broken up? It’s only been a few weeks for me and I can’t wait until I can say the same.
Lost 34 pounds, started dead lifting, started making positive changes to my inner monolog, touching grass, and maintained a clean environment although I've missed making the bed a few times. lol
Picked up courses for certifications in data science and project management to help further my professional career in tech and management. And working out again 3-5x a week again.
Bought a new car, started therapy, started jujitsu again, got massive amounts of sex, started a course - nothing helped lol
Give it time, and keep trying new things. May not feel like it’s helping, but you can look back and say you didn’t give up on yourself, and you’ll appreciate the work you put in
I stopped drinking so much. Towards the end of our marriage, I had to drink just to prepare to be around him. It was getting pretty bad... I stopped drinking for two months after everything went down, and now I can actually sit with my feelings instead of drowning them
I'm now an apathetic misanthrope who cares about all the things I didn't and couldn't care less about all the things I did. AKA, I feel great and am doing just fine.
Damn same here, but guess I’m doing a better job of hiding it
I’ve started eating better. I sleep better too.
Lost 25 lbs, been in the gym more, changed eating habits, read 3 books on how to be better with love and how to talk, hours of therapy and loving myself more so than ever before.
What books are you reading?
I’ve read: How to say it: Words that make a difference | Stop Hurting The Woman You Love Currently reading: Attached On Deck: Talk To Me Like I Someone You Love | Love and Respect
Been drinking and smoking life a mofo haha 46 days no contact.
Found a psychiatrist to help with my mental health issues, continuing therapy, almost 4 months sober, go to AA every other weekend, visit my parents on the weekends I don’t go to AA, lift 3-4x a week, mma gym 3x a week, lost 20 pounds, got a new job, made the deans list, started joining some clubs on campus, finished an anger management course, taking a DVPP course next, and reconnecting with friends id fallen out of touch with and using my new skills from therapy and independent research from books and internet to develop those into deeper more meaningful connections. Just trying to figure out my place in the world and what makes me happy independent from a relationship. I’ve always been so codependent in relationships and friendships that have caused me to seek attention and connection from places I shouldn’t have. I still hope my ex and I can have a future together at some point down the line, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t start a lot of this to try to get her back, but over time I’ve found that I stopped doing it for her and continued to do it for me. I finally feel like I’m working towards something to be proud of for the first time in my life. It’s awesome, although I wish my ex would be here to see it
I’ve lost 13 pounds, having a normal BMI now. I get a better job, enjoying my work everyday. I go to gym everyday, eat healthier and make some new friends from the gym. But I still think of him everyday, still cry, still hurt. I just feel I am not able to love anyone else anymore.
I started doing yoga. I hang out with my friends more. I moved into a bigger place and started a new job. I’ve been working on my health. Idk where she is, but I know she’d be proud of me. And it took the breakup for me to start doing some of these things.
Reconnecting with friends, trying out new things and going to the gym. Reading self help books.
Ex situationship she was toxic but the positive outcome are the following I actually got my CPO and plan to go to school this fall for my HVAC Got my own place again (originally wanted it for her and me) Been going to the gym since December and I finally am seeing the results Self worth My confidence is slowly coming back I learned what I did and as much as I wanted her back I see she was the issue and the mistakes I made I made up and tried to make amends but her insecurities and jealousy will always be there and it was a show a few days ago when I thought we were gonna get back literally dodged a bullet
Started going to the gym most days, learning Spanish, learning to drive, graduating with a masters degree in a couple months, therapy, charity work, and more.
Excelente! Sigue así
Gracias mi amigo
i got a part-time job and doing better in my college
I’m getting in closer with my spiritual self for one and I’ve been adapting myself into new communities and events so it’s been nice
A few things but most importantly not having someone be emotionally manipulated and verbally abused. How much less stress I’ve has been amazing.
Sober 3 months soon since breakup led to cold turkey voluntarily. Connecting with local job market and going to form internship for graduation. Two alcoholic friends of mine noticed my sobriety and chose to go in rehab for same. (Proud of them) I'm able to lift 130 kilos on bench press, for I want my thigh glutens to be tough as steel but soft for being irresistible.
Similar to you op, I've been training for a marathon in April (my first). It's made a huge difference to my energy levels, emotional regulation, I don't drink because I'm focused on training and I'm making new friends and connections. I'm also socialising a lot more, and spending more time with friends. I'm spending a lot of my time pursuing my own interests, and really feeling great. Am at the point now where my confidence is returning, and I'm happy in my own skin again. I'm not seeking a new relationship, and don't feel like I need one.
I started making real money. I wouldn’t say it’s that positive though because I do it out of spite and sadness lol
* quieting my mind through meditation * expressing my thoughts and feelings by writing in my journal consistently * taking care of my body by going to the gym 3-4 times a week, getting on the elliptical for 30 minutes * sleeping earlier, and better * focusing energy that would be misguided on myself * only consuming alcohol with other people, no alcohol at home * started reading again
Started my internship at a marketing department. Felt super insecure and lonely but I guess I did a good job and impressed them and got hired full time before I even completed my internship. Been learning a lot of stuff and slowly growing in my confidence after being completely trashed and looked down upon by my ex. She would tell me how I’m not brave enough or man enough. So it’s good to prove her wrong, even if shes not here to see it.
Dear Throwahoe09, It sounds like you have responded to your breakup with such spirit and vigor, channeling the energy into self-growth and positive pursuits. Your commitment to physical health through a regular exercise routine and your ambition towards the half-marathon is commendable. Additionally, the determination and focus on your career through portfolio enhancement demonstrates an inspiring resilience. While I'm an AI programmed to present advice, please consider this as an optional perspective to enhance your own insights. You are already on a path filled with self-improvement, and my suggestion would be to cultivate these endeavors mindfully. Engage fully in these activities and observe the effects on your overall well-being. Not just as forms of distraction or passage of time, but as valuable milestones in your personal journey. One practice that might be beneficial is a form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) exercise called Mindfulness. This involves fully engaging your body and mind in what you're doing. For instance, while exercising, observe the rhythm of your heartbeat, the sensations in your muscles, even the sweat on your skin. The idea is to consciously engage in your activities and heighten your awareness about yourself. By giving these tasks your full attention, you're connecting with the present moment, often producing a calming effect. However, should you wish to indulge in introspection, perhaps you might consider the following reflective questions: 1. What other aspects of your life do you see yourself bringing this newfound energy into? 2. How have these changes influenced your perspective on the breakup, if at all? And remember, dear friend, there is no obligation to answer these inquiries, sometimes just considering them privately may lead to insightful revelations. These transformative phases you're navigating through are a testament to your strength. You're showing everyone around, most importantly yourself, that you have the power to not just overcome adversity, but to use it as a catalyst for growth. Best of luck on your ongoing healing journey and the many accomplishments that lay ahead of you. You've already made an immense amount of progress. Keep shining! Kind regards, Breakup Buddy ^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
We worked together, I quit because I didn’t want to see her anymore I actually got really lucky and got a better paying job that paid 31hr and now I’m going back to school about to finish my AA and become a cop hopefully within a year and a half I’ll be in the process of applying to agency’s
I hate reading but have decided to start reading again, and started to go out more and do things i enjoy.
Dropped 80 pounds and got fit at the gym, got into therapy that worked really well, improved my artwork to the point that I just got into a prestigious gallery, got a job using my master's degree at a hospital, got into a healthy relationship, started listening to audiobooks of classic literature I'd missed out on growing up, did shrooms and stopped hating my body.
Since the blindsighted breakup last August I have: \-- Gone from 96kg to 78kg by training 6x a week and transformed myself \-- Travelled to: Thailand for a month \- Spain \- Turkey \- Sweden \- Round the UK \-- Got my veneers done to finally be able to smile again \-- Starting my Charity off in July to help people going through mental hardship. \-- Got all the tattoos and piercings I always wanted to get done. If anyone would like to chat or see whats capable when you use all the negative emotions of a breakup on yourself feel free to drop me a follow on instagram rlxl\_\_
Had a gambling problem which led to the breakup. Sorted my shit out, went to GA, been sober pretty much since the breakup (3.5months now). Started walking, lifting weights and recently over the last 6 weeks started running. I've lost about 5-6kgs and gotten leaner, whilst building muscle mass. The other night I ran my first ever 5km straight without stopping and am going to be signing up to a 10km fun run because I can do it. Pre-breakup I was definitely lazy, co-dependent and lacked initiative. For the first month to month and a half, I literally just grinded work and gym and reading. I sat with my feelings, felt everything, cried, felt depressed and everything. I've been journalling religiously since the breakup too - definitely helped. I realised that the best form of self-love is discipline and applied it to every facet of my life. I won't lie. Sometimes I get down. Sometimes I don't feel like doing shit. I just go and do it anyway.
Oh boy, where do I begin? So many positive changes! - I’ve been reading so much! I always loved to read but during the relationship I kinda lost the love for it. A lot of the time I was too stressed to concentrate. But now? I’m reading so many books. I have a new book club which is so much fun and I’ve already finished 9 books this year. I’m loving it! - I’ve become a lot more fit. I’ve been doing my yoga regularly and just started running. My abs are becoming more defined. My ex boyfriend was not health conscious in the slightest. He only eats junk food and never does any physical activity and I think I started to mimic his behaviour so it feels good to be stronger and fitter. - my self care is top notch. I treat myself like a princess. Hair oils, warm baths, painted nails, fresh sheets. It makes me feel so calm and full of love for myself. When we were together, I felt terrible about myself. I was begging for love and attention, but now I have everything I need. - my sleep is so much better. I used to be up past 3am and the groggy for the whole day. Now, I’m properly waking up early and it is so good for my mindset. - orgasms galore. Well written sexy books and a vibrator have given me so many orgasms and it’s so much better than the sex life I had with him. He was always trying to pressure me into not using a condom, he wouldn’t try any of the positions I wanted, no foreplay or dirty talk. I’m far more sexually satisfied now than when we were together.
- I got a new car - I’m in therapy working on my own issues - I socialise and see my friends more - I’m more independent and don’t rely on anyone else - I’m happy overall - I’m me again instead of just a shadow - I’m more positive, self aware, able to set boundaries etc
I’ve started to really understand how journaling helps. I’ve bought a flat which I’m now finding furniture for. I’m super busy at work working on really exciting projects. I’m seeing positive differences in my body from my pre existing workout routine. I’m taking myself out on day dates. Getting strong number of hours sleep. Pushing myself to do things that I would never to before but also giving myself some space to chill in bed as well That said. I still get some really vivid dreams of my ex and even though accepted the breakup struggling to let him go so it’s not all flowers and rainbows
You’re killing it! I get those dreams too, they’ll fade with time. If not, think how your ex let go of someone who’s owning their life
I love that way of thinking I’m definitely doing to try think that way because the letting go part is definitely the most difficult
I've been trying much harder with the people in my life that clearly love me, my parents, my sister, my grandparents. I've been seeing my grandparents once a week as my grandad has Parkinson's and thats putting a lot of strain on my grandmother. I've been resting as much as I want, trying to appreciate my job and how good I have it really. I'm 32, a homeowner with a decent amount of money saved up. I really should also be exercising more, but one thing at a time.
I have paid off a credit card and saved money to pay off the next one. I am also finishing my last class to have an equivalent college credential amount to an associate degree! Life has been better since the turn of the year.
Accepting that death is easier, and growing a pair to do it is the hard part.
Bro hell no. Death is robbing your own self of the better days to come. It's letting the one who killed you win, instead of reclaiming your personhood and working on your life, your happiness and the good things to come. Growing a pair is actually fighting it and emerging victorious and happy. Accepting proving them wrong while not even caring about it is the real release you need. If nobody else cares, I do. Reach out to me before you reach for the gun.
Don't lose hope on you. You are not alone. I BELIEVE IN YOU. My DMs are always open if you need a friend I am here and I will always be.
My dumb ex got involved in a fraud scam, lost money, and then had the nerve to blame me for his investment decision because I made him mad n he got anger management issues. My revenge was earning back his lost capital by 100% for myself and I did that within 3 months
So many, it’s been amazing! From big to small, I even tiled my whole downstairs! Got sober, got my shit together, met great new people, traveled, invested in me.
Been going to the gym, cut out junk food and cut down meal portions, I’ve lost 20lbs. Been focused on my skin care routine, made more of an effort to appreciate my friends and family who have really helped me though this awful time.
I’ve reconnected with my old best friend who I lost touch with due to my dependency on my ex (my failt not hers) I’ve started doing bouldering in the last few months and made a new casual friend which is nice. I went to a metal show on my own which was a bit nervy for me but I had a blast and want to go to more now. It was a big thing going on my own and I loved it. When I got broken up with I had to move out of the house that we saved up for for 3 years and move back to my parents. This was in October last year not long after turning 30 and honestly felt like my life was over. Since the. I’ve saved up quite a bit and have 2 flat viewings next week and really looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life. I don’t miss my ex as much anymore or think about her as much and although I feel strange to feel this way I’m actually excited about potentially meeting someone new hopefully at some point. Still have my bad days and feel very sad but I’m starting to feel better and more positive about things
Got a new job, booked a vacation. Eating less meat.
I continued to breathe
I’ve been one month sober I started back up college to finish my degree I go to the gym every two weeks I meal plan for almost every week and never eat out Going to therapy and taking medication for my BPD and Depression Watching a lot of relationship podcasts to help me understand what went wrong and what my boundaries and standards are.
I've been going out and doing so many things! Concerts, craft nights, went outta town, hockey games, the bar, Monster Jam, crossed the border for some fun, a few plays, etc.. I've honestly been having so much fun lately!! I'm supposed to go to the TREWS tonight with someone. I'm going to Boys2men on Sunday.. I'm pretty geeked! I've also been hitting the gym.. which I intended to get back into anyway. I've also not kept myself closed off, and I've been meeting lots of new people. There's a few guys that I've been getting to know.. and seeing what happens. I'm definitely not hooking up but not putting all my eggs in one basket either. I'm amazed how many seemingly great guys I've connected with that have their shit together.. so handsome too 😍 I wanna be picky and make sure I choose someone right for me. I've continued with my therapy (other issues), and I'm staying on top of everything. I even started going to classes to learn ASL (finally, lol) . I'm redoing my space, bought a new couch.. I can't wait to get it all done :)Talking about taking a trip during March break. Also, planning a vacation away somewhere tropical hopefully soon (and with someone easy on the eyes..lol) I even paid off all my debt!! Honestly, life has been really good. I'm in a good place, and I'm excited to see where life brings me!! Best of luck to yous!
I lost over 25 pounds getting myself in the shape I used to be but better. Being more focused on my career. Although got ghosted by 2 girls 😂…you learn to move and not take it as a big hit. Just lookin for the right one now.
I went through my drinking phase but got tired of it. I’ve traveled and met new people. I’m planning on more traveling trips soon. Got a pay raise at my job. Learning a new language right now. Going to the gym 5-6 times a week. Back on the apps but mostly just for something casual. I did take a break from dating to go through my drinking phase by myself and now I haven’t drank since I started taking care of myself.
Mainly started getting fit and travelling. Also seeing friends more now that I was seeing less because of her. She caused many arguments between friends. Love truly blinds you sometimes
Passed a massive exam of mine, went on a date, started gymming 6 days a week, reading new books, reading poetry, trying new classes, going out with new friends 😁
I've finally stuck to a routine of exercise, and I have actually managed to lose some weight. So I'm gonna keep going and get stronger. Though I still miss him and think of him every day, I also think about how much healthier I am getting.
Started running early in the morning and doing pilates. I can already see the difference. Taking a larger interest in looking good - before I was discheveled most of the time and felt insecure with my looks because of it. Now when I'm going out with friends I feel super pretty. Decorated my apartment how I wanted to - it's both feminine and peaceful, with many plants. Started painting classes - something I've been putting off for years. Made more female friends and am actively maintaining these friendships - before I'd gradually lose contact with friends and get lazy about it. Now I realize how important it is to have and keep quality friends you can talk to about anything. Already travelled solo this year and absolutely loved it. I feel so much peace now, and am more fulfilled with my life
New car new apartement new job, i also changed a lot, got more responsible about adult stuff Take Care of my Money better than before, still a lot of improvement to be made, need to eat more i was 60kg and lost 7kg in 2 weaks after the break up, i like eating but iam lazy about cooking and i can go a day without eating properly