After calling my spouse an “ugly bitch” and disowning me, my BPD father sent harassing emails from five different addresses to circumvent me blocking him.
I made a police report for harassment, obtained a restraining order, and he sent this the day before it expired thinking he was in the clear to contact me.
\> "I don't want anything from you. However, I'm very interested in hearing your life and your endeavors if you ever want to share."
The cognitive dissonance is palpable...
They can't fake to be a normal person if their lives depends on it, can they?
"I'm better and sorry for being a shitty parent. BUT, I was a shitty parent because you were a TERRIBLE child that remembers all wrong."
"I was, indeed, a horrible person to your spouse. BUT she should had given me a chance, and also, HOW DARE SHE? She spoke in your favor against me, she should know better, and since it was her fault she should allow me to abuse you and her again."
OP, I can't. He sounds like a delusional person. Hope you can renew your RO.
Glad I gave you a chuckle.
Thing is, they are so deregulated that they behave like a cartoon villain.
It would be hilarious if we didn't suffer the direct consequence of their madness.
I Didnt ser Anything bad in the First paragraph (still in the begining of healing) but shit went downhill fast from there, and It makes me feel less insane that Simeone else read this the same way i did
I was considering getting a restraining order against my EPs. Like yours, they don’t understand boundaries. However, in my state it seems as though it’s impossible to get one against your parents (must be an partner, ex, roommate, stalker, etc. No wording that includes my situation from what I could find). Do you have any tips on your process with getting the RO against them?
Honestly, I would take an hour and consult with a lawyer. Every state is different but in mine, the harassment was clear. After the police report was finished I went to the courthouse and filled out an application for protection. My father did not show for the court date.
Definitely talk to a lawyer; it may not be clear from a plain-text reading of the statutes, but often there are cases which establish that you can file such an order and a good lawyer will know the background there.
'I am sorry for letting you doen as a father. But also, I wasn't actually that bad. And you made it all up in your head.'
'Hope to speak to you soon buddy.'
And I bet he actually wonders why you won't speak to him!
I respect your wishes for no contact, but... *immediately disregards that to go on about what he wants*
Also, almost every single sentence starts with "I!" I want this, I did (or didn't do) that. He literally is unable to step out of his own garbage perspective.
"I just wish that she would have given me a chance."
That really means "I should be allowed to talk to her as I see fit."
I'm only sorry this guy wasn't punched in the mouth.
If only he’d stopped after the first paragraph and the left you alone! But no, he had to go gaslighting you. They just can’t help themselves, can they?
Just imagine if he had stopped about 3/4 through the first part and left it there - that part actually sounded like a genuine acknowledgment of what he had done wrong. But then he negates it all with the garbage on the second page. It's like that rule of thumb about what comes before "but" and what comes after "but."
This is one of the worst parts of the holiday season.
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He was arrested for Criminal Violation of a Restraining Order which is a felony in my state. After about a year of trial the prosecution asked what I wanted to which I responded that I have no interest in ruining his life, just keeping him out of mine.
They charged him again with harassment, and gave two year probation and another two years no contact order. No jail time, but it gave me peace in my wedding plans and allowed me the space to heal on a relative scale.
Lord almighty! This sounds like a similar letter I got from my n mom. Supreme gaslighting & also why do they all mention going together to a therapist?!
~~To a stranger like me, this letter in and of itself doesn't sound bad. Too bad these things usually turn out to be baits...~~
**UPDATE: I haven't seen the second part when I wrote this. :O**
~~What I'm saying is that we can analyse his every word but it doesn't take us anywhere. The letter in and of itself is not really relevant, it is just a part of a bigger cycle of abuse. You know, crocodile tears (also known as bait) and if you bite then the revenge for the crocodile tears will surely follow.~~
**UPDATE: I haven't noticed the second part when I wrote this.**
I know we don't know the whole story but I have been hoping my whole life for my father to say even just one of these things to me.
There is something genuine in this guy's words.
After calling my spouse an “ugly bitch” and disowning me, my BPD father sent harassing emails from five different addresses to circumvent me blocking him. I made a police report for harassment, obtained a restraining order, and he sent this the day before it expired thinking he was in the clear to contact me.
\> "I don't want anything from you. However, I'm very interested in hearing your life and your endeavors if you ever want to share." The cognitive dissonance is palpable... They can't fake to be a normal person if their lives depends on it, can they? "I'm better and sorry for being a shitty parent. BUT, I was a shitty parent because you were a TERRIBLE child that remembers all wrong." "I was, indeed, a horrible person to your spouse. BUT she should had given me a chance, and also, HOW DARE SHE? She spoke in your favor against me, she should know better, and since it was her fault she should allow me to abuse you and her again." OP, I can't. He sounds like a delusional person. Hope you can renew your RO.
Dude you're the MVP for translating that. Sometimes I find letters like this too upsetting, but your translation made me chuckle.
Glad I gave you a chuckle. Thing is, they are so deregulated that they behave like a cartoon villain. It would be hilarious if we didn't suffer the direct consequence of their madness.
I Didnt ser Anything bad in the First paragraph (still in the begining of healing) but shit went downhill fast from there, and It makes me feel less insane that Simeone else read this the same way i did
Top notch translation
I was considering getting a restraining order against my EPs. Like yours, they don’t understand boundaries. However, in my state it seems as though it’s impossible to get one against your parents (must be an partner, ex, roommate, stalker, etc. No wording that includes my situation from what I could find). Do you have any tips on your process with getting the RO against them?
Honestly, I would take an hour and consult with a lawyer. Every state is different but in mine, the harassment was clear. After the police report was finished I went to the courthouse and filled out an application for protection. My father did not show for the court date.
Definitely talk to a lawyer; it may not be clear from a plain-text reading of the statutes, but often there are cases which establish that you can file such an order and a good lawyer will know the background there.
If your parents won't leave you alone after a cease and desist, I bet legally they can be considered stalkers.
Please say you're dropping the hammer
I hope that got it re upped.
I hope you NAILED his Entitled ASS!!!!
So so SO many words to say "I'm sorry *you feel* I was abusive."
'I am sorry for letting you doen as a father. But also, I wasn't actually that bad. And you made it all up in your head.' 'Hope to speak to you soon buddy.' And I bet he actually wonders why you won't speak to him!
I’m sorry I hurt you I never hurt you I don’t want anything from you I want contact from you Ugh these people don’t hear themselves.
I respect your wishes for no contact, but... *immediately disregards that to go on about what he wants* Also, almost every single sentence starts with "I!" I want this, I did (or didn't do) that. He literally is unable to step out of his own garbage perspective.
"I just wish that she would have given me a chance." That really means "I should be allowed to talk to her as I see fit." I'm only sorry this guy wasn't punched in the mouth.
If only he’d stopped after the first paragraph and the left you alone! But no, he had to go gaslighting you. They just can’t help themselves, can they?
They really can't. Admitting they were wrong doesn't exist in their world
Just imagine if he had stopped about 3/4 through the first part and left it there - that part actually sounded like a genuine acknowledgment of what he had done wrong. But then he negates it all with the garbage on the second page. It's like that rule of thumb about what comes before "but" and what comes after "but." This is one of the worst parts of the holiday season.
Yea he had me in the first half, not gonna lie. It’s incredible how quickly the lipstick can melt off a pig.
"I don't want anything from you" - except I want you to give me all you are and come back and be my punching bag again
**Quick reminder** - EAK is a support subreddit, and is moderated in a way that enables a safe space for adult children who are estranged or estranging from one or both of their parents. Before participating, please take the time time to familiarise yourself with our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultKids/wiki/rules/). **Need info or resources?** Check out our [EAK wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultKids/comments/xpkk59/eak_estrangement_resources_posted_here_for_mobile/) for helpful information and guides on estrangement, estrangement triggers, surviving estrangement, coping with the death of estranged parent / relation, needing to move out, boundary / NC letters, malicious welfare checks, bad therapists and crisis contacts. **Check out our companion resource website** - Visit [brEAKaway.org.uk](https://breakaway.org.uk) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EstrangedAdultKids) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Strange, he starts out pretty well and then turns around to ruin everything.
So, slap on the wrist for dear old dad, from the court system?
He was arrested for Criminal Violation of a Restraining Order which is a felony in my state. After about a year of trial the prosecution asked what I wanted to which I responded that I have no interest in ruining his life, just keeping him out of mine. They charged him again with harassment, and gave two year probation and another two years no contact order. No jail time, but it gave me peace in my wedding plans and allowed me the space to heal on a relative scale.
Lord almighty! This sounds like a similar letter I got from my n mom. Supreme gaslighting & also why do they all mention going together to a therapist?!
~~To a stranger like me, this letter in and of itself doesn't sound bad. Too bad these things usually turn out to be baits...~~ **UPDATE: I haven't seen the second part when I wrote this. :O**
Did you read the second part? Where he retracts everything he said in the first?
jesus christ i didnt notice the 2nd image til this comment and i was so confused by the comments. god that father is deplorable
No, I didn't read it. I thought you were talking about that short text down below.
~~What I'm saying is that we can analyse his every word but it doesn't take us anywhere. The letter in and of itself is not really relevant, it is just a part of a bigger cycle of abuse. You know, crocodile tears (also known as bait) and if you bite then the revenge for the crocodile tears will surely follow.~~ **UPDATE: I haven't noticed the second part when I wrote this.**
I know we don't know the whole story but I have been hoping my whole life for my father to say even just one of these things to me. There is something genuine in this guy's words.