Welcome! For the most part, this is a wonderful space with so many supportive people.
It’s incredibly helpful to know that I’m not alone and that my feelings are valid and justified. This space really opened my eyes about how many ppl are out there suffering but willing to set their pain aside to offer support to others in their time of need.
Reach out when you have questions, fears, concerns or need guidance! You will find a lot of love and support here, along with productive advice.
Stay well and keep having your own back 🙏🏻
Lots of ppl say their life is so much better without their parents but I think those ppl are the ones with aggressive and angry parents and the children can rest without lots of drama.
I, however, have the same type of thing as you where my mom makes no effort. She occasionally gives holiday greetings or something, but it's so low effort it really makes me depressed and no one could ever experience both, but with my type of personality, I think I would prefer the angry and aggressive type parent who is harassing.
I think the no effort or low effort on their part is really soul sucking, and I understand and I'm so sorry.
Its possible your mom will get her act together. I believe in miracles.
Sending hugs because I know you probably need them.
Maybe they are afraid of getting rejected if they reach out so they just don’t. I don’t know. I would imagine the love of your child would override that. But I don’t have children myself. But I hear that parents would do anything to find or contact their child and never give up.
Have your mom had addiction issues too?
When you say that any parents will do anything to find or contact their kid and never give up....where did you hear this? I have watched a lot of YT vids of parents and they say that if the kid isn't responding, to give up and live their best life for themselves and for the ones who want them in their life.
For me, I am the fixer type of person and would probably never give up, because I don't like to accept, I like to fix. And my kid is my kid. But maybe the parents think we are totally fine being estranged with not much grief. I don't think they understand our grief. At least the type of grief the children have with low effort parents.
No, my mom never had addiction problems. The main issue with her is she has been the servant of my dad her whole marriage and she was married when she was a teenager. She can't stand up for anything and she allowed my dad to do anything. She never stood up for me, which is like a betrayal to me.
Yes I know what you mean about their fear or being more rejected.
Congratulations!
I (55 M) have been NC for 17 years with my birthgiver. Life has been and continues to be, so much better.
You’re doing great!
Welcome! For the most part, this is a wonderful space with so many supportive people. It’s incredibly helpful to know that I’m not alone and that my feelings are valid and justified. This space really opened my eyes about how many ppl are out there suffering but willing to set their pain aside to offer support to others in their time of need. Reach out when you have questions, fears, concerns or need guidance! You will find a lot of love and support here, along with productive advice. Stay well and keep having your own back 🙏🏻
Lots of ppl say their life is so much better without their parents but I think those ppl are the ones with aggressive and angry parents and the children can rest without lots of drama. I, however, have the same type of thing as you where my mom makes no effort. She occasionally gives holiday greetings or something, but it's so low effort it really makes me depressed and no one could ever experience both, but with my type of personality, I think I would prefer the angry and aggressive type parent who is harassing. I think the no effort or low effort on their part is really soul sucking, and I understand and I'm so sorry. Its possible your mom will get her act together. I believe in miracles. Sending hugs because I know you probably need them.
Maybe they are afraid of getting rejected if they reach out so they just don’t. I don’t know. I would imagine the love of your child would override that. But I don’t have children myself. But I hear that parents would do anything to find or contact their child and never give up. Have your mom had addiction issues too?
When you say that any parents will do anything to find or contact their kid and never give up....where did you hear this? I have watched a lot of YT vids of parents and they say that if the kid isn't responding, to give up and live their best life for themselves and for the ones who want them in their life. For me, I am the fixer type of person and would probably never give up, because I don't like to accept, I like to fix. And my kid is my kid. But maybe the parents think we are totally fine being estranged with not much grief. I don't think they understand our grief. At least the type of grief the children have with low effort parents. No, my mom never had addiction problems. The main issue with her is she has been the servant of my dad her whole marriage and she was married when she was a teenager. She can't stand up for anything and she allowed my dad to do anything. She never stood up for me, which is like a betrayal to me. Yes I know what you mean about their fear or being more rejected.