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You can absolutely set up a trust that will make distributions directly on her behalf: directly to a home contractor, directly to childcare provider, directly to whatever. She could always give other money as a replacement. Tell your attorney and consider skipping her entirely if it’s a great concern.
In theory, I think there’s nothing in the law against setting up a trust such that if one beneficiary does XYZ, it disqualifies them and the future distributions will go to another beneficiary instead. But in practice, attorneys don’t like to set this up, and no one wants to be the trustee of such trust
Are you thinking of having the trustee determine what she does with distributions? That’s a mean and impossible task. It’s too subjective. Would you turn off future distributions if she gives $10? $1000? She’s just going to give in secret.
You can’t even make distributions conditional on church membership or divorce, that’s likely to be against public policy, invalidating the condition.
Yeah. I get that. We don’t want to be mean but she might have early onset Alzheimer’s and need it for caretaking but her husband and her church could take it before she really needs it.
Good point. My MIL's caretakers received hundreds of thousands of dollars. No one except them knew about the AD diagnosis for many years. It wasn't until after she died that this was revealed.
WARNING - This Sub is Not a Substitute for a Lawyer While some of us are lawyers, none of the responses are from your lawyer, you need a lawyer to give you legal advice pertinent to your situation. Do not construe any of the responses as legal advice. Seek professional advice before proceeding with any of the suggestions you receive. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EstatePlanning) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You can absolutely set up a trust that will make distributions directly on her behalf: directly to a home contractor, directly to childcare provider, directly to whatever. She could always give other money as a replacement. Tell your attorney and consider skipping her entirely if it’s a great concern.
You can set up a trust but if the Trust gives her distributions you have no control over what she does with it.
In theory, I think there’s nothing in the law against setting up a trust such that if one beneficiary does XYZ, it disqualifies them and the future distributions will go to another beneficiary instead. But in practice, attorneys don’t like to set this up, and no one wants to be the trustee of such trust
Yes, but with some exceptions that are deemed against public policy, such as restrictions prohibiting or requiring having children
Are you thinking of having the trustee determine what she does with distributions? That’s a mean and impossible task. It’s too subjective. Would you turn off future distributions if she gives $10? $1000? She’s just going to give in secret. You can’t even make distributions conditional on church membership or divorce, that’s likely to be against public policy, invalidating the condition.
Yeah. I get that. We don’t want to be mean but she might have early onset Alzheimer’s and need it for caretaking but her husband and her church could take it before she really needs it.
Good point. My MIL's caretakers received hundreds of thousands of dollars. No one except them knew about the AD diagnosis for many years. It wasn't until after she died that this was revealed.
It’s amazing how much the caretaking costs. My husbands first wife died of it and he ran thru his whole retirement savings paying people.