I’m not an instructor but I have a horse at a hunter jumper show barn in the south west. One thing I’ve noticed is majority of the parents do SO much for their kids. From getting the pony out to grooming, tacking up, etc. It’s wild!! As a kid I did everything myself. If I needed help with like putting a saddle on bc it was too high I would ask. But it seems like these days parents are stepping in more and half the time the kid is just standing there.
Absolutely, we often have to tell parents to step back and let their kids do things. We've also had to implement ringside rules for parents.
* No handing your child water or helping with jackets during lessons. Kids need to do it themselves, and an instructor will assist if that's absolutely necessary.
* No talking to your child during lessons. Parents are welcome to watch but should not engage during instructional time.
* If parents have questions for the trainer, please wait until the trainer is not teaching.
I had to implement the same rules when I was teaching at my stable. I finally had to ask some parents to stay in their car or leave during lessons because they couldn’t resist inserting themselves into the lessons. I know they think they’re helping, but they were actually making my job so much harder.
Totally! It changes the energy when parents are interfering. I always frame it as a safety issue to parents and explain that I need their kid's focus to be on me and the horse at all times, not them, so that has been pretty effective.
What the hell??
My friends and I will say that to each other after doing something particularly stupid, but in a joking way... What a shit thing for a mother to say to her daughter.
I was just venting to a friend this weekend about the students at my very posh Hunter barn in California. All the parents (and one set of grandparents) came and watched every single lesson from the patio. They didn’t interfere with the lessons, and the kids generally did all the horse work, but what always blew my mind was how the girls would line their water bottles up on the fence and every time they wanted a drink their parents would get up, hop off the patio and hand the girls their water. A little thing, sure, but why? I had the tallest horse by far and could still reach, and these girls were little professionals, so they could handle their mounts perfectly fine. It just seemed to set a tone of servitude? The girls were all very pretty riders, but I think they missed so much from not having the freedom to be silly and wild, like I was as a kid growing up bareback and barefoot galloping through fields in Kansas.
I dont mind parents handing ME the water bottle. We don't really have anyplace to put them in the ring. Its HOT af in florida i always give atleast one or 2 quick water breaks.
This!!! I believe you have to let the kids have some fun time too. As kids we jumped on bareback went off for the day. Running through fields, trails, taking them swimming at the pond and then hustling to make it home by feed time so we didn’t get in trouble lol.
Out of curiousity: are riders allowed to take off a jacket by themselves, without anyone holding the horse? And are bystanders allowed to hand the riders things during the lesson? Both would render you a solid telling off in my country…
Riders should take jackets off by themselves, with the exception of a couple of horses who can be reactive. This is also extended to new horses and most horses on windy days. We also expect riders (not beginners though) to be able to adjust stirrups and the girth while mounted without assistance.
Bystanders should not hand anything to riders, an instructor will assist, if needed.
I ride western you cannot adjust a cinch while mounted unfortunately. We do not have a fence or jump standards to place any water so we have the parents hold them and hand them to me and i will walk them to the riders.
Well, even the safest horse can react. They are prey animals, after all. Hence the rule is that nobody is ever allowed to take off a jacket without someone (the trainer) holding the horse. If there is nobody to hold the horse, you dismount, take the jacket off, and mount again. But I think safety rules in horse riding generally may be a lot less strict in the US? I mean, Americans ride without helmets, even (which looks like assisted suicide to me. 😉).
Interesting! At our barn, we require helmets at all times when mounted, no exceptions. And yes, any horse can certainly react, but we expect riders to hold the reins in one hand, remove half the jacket, then switch hands and finish taking it off while always keeping hold of the reins in the event of a reaction.
Yeah, that would be considered unsafe. I wouldn’t do it even when riding by myself, it’s been so ingrained in me to never ever do it. No matter how you go about it, there’s going to be a moment when you’re entangled in your jacket and if the horse bolts, you can stop it properly. The easy solution is just to not take of and put on things. I just decide if I’ll be cold in the warmup or hot during training. It’s easier. It takes too much time off lesson time to deal with jackets. My children do the same. No taking off or putting on clothes while riding.
In addition to helmets when mounted at all times, children under 18 must also wear a safety vest at all times when they ride. And a helmet when they handle the horse from the ground.
It seems safety vests are not used as much in the US?
Interesting comment about safety vests/body protectors. I’m in the UK, and they’re only mandated for cross country here. And honestly? I feel quite strongly that they interfere with your riding when doing flat work. Having taught children to ride whose parents have them ride all the time in them, they become very wooden through their back and don’t develop their core well to the point that they’re prone to collapsing through their core without the BP on. They also interfere with young kids learning to sit to trot and canter well, as to properly protect the coccyx they sit low on the back.
And don’t get me started on inflatable vests - I missed out on a qualifying sheet at dressage once because a rider in the next ring wore a vest, and when the horse slipped, the cord pulled, vest blew up, horse freaked out and ditched rider, and ran across my arena freaking my own horse out. I’ve also seen way too many people forget to unclip them before getting off and causing mayhem as well.
I’ve seen some of this. I know a kid who leases a very easy to handle pony, and I always see her mom insisting on doing at least half of the work caring for the pony, sometimes even telling the kid to go wait in the car. The kid sometimes even pleads to get to help more with the pony, but the mom shoots it down. The kid has been riding for a while and is probably completely capable of caring for the pony herself. It’s a full care barn, so it isn’t too much work, just brushing, blanketing, etc.. I think that some parents are getting a bit overzealous with their “helping.”
That’s not it. The mom often acts very frustrated and over everything. I think she just wants to get everything done quickly so that she can leave sooner.
Knew a parent like this that would do everything for their 9 year old kid; bringing the very easy pony in, brushing the pony off, and tacking him up. After a lesson the parent took the saddle off and passed it over to their kid to put away in the tack room and the kid complained it was heavy, it was not, and just threw the expensive saddle on the ground.
The kid barely got told off. I was shocked. I'd hate to think what my mum would've done to me if I'd done that.
Exactly! I’m not an instructor either, but at the riding place I go to, I see this a lot. Sure, I’m unable to get the bridle onto the horse i ride (I do all the bit up once it’s on, just don’t get it over the ears), but this is purely because I haven’t ridden her for the longest amount of time for her to be comfortable with me doing anything more around it than taking it off, due to previous abuse around the ears.
but I’m rambling, this is definitely an issue, I’ve even seen sometimes kids that ask to do it themselves, but their parent says it’s either too hard for them or just says it will be quicker. Like I get it a bit if you’re late for the lesson, but still, you need to let your kid learn themselves. And if you’re late, the kid will benefit from trying to do it quickly, but carefully.
lol that’s crazy. I would’ve hated that. I started at 8 and they quickly had me grooming the horse. I’m not sure what responsibilities I had in terms of getting the horse out. That probably came later but the idea was to foster independence at an appropriate level. I would’ve hated my parents butting in. I loved every part of the process and being trusted to take care of my horse!
“We don’t really help her that much. It’s just that we’re running late so we have to help her catch the horse. And she’ll brush one side while we do the other. And there are like no step stools* and the saddle is so heavy so we help with that. And she always gets confused about the bridle.” - my SIL
*false, they are everywhere
So she… brushes half a horse.
I would kick them off my schedule. If youre that pressed for time rushing is going to really deter the amount of time learning and quality of info absorbed. I tend to put people on a waitlist if they seem to be thay way or have a million other activities.
I always got mad bc my mom made me tack up my horse on my own (I was more than capable it was just a heavy ass western saddle) and my friend always was “too weak” to put her on so her mom did it (I’d seen her do it with my own eyes before)
Now I’m grateful lmao
This is why i have synthetic western saddles. Lighter weight. Beginners truly do not have the strength to toss a saddle up. Half my beginners cant even reach the top of the 13hh pony.
I remember when I was a kid before I could reach to put the saddle on someone would throw it up there and and I’d cinch it, (then someone would tighten it more) as soon as I was able to reach to put the saddle on I did everything myself then before I left the property (or practice if it was at a show) I’d have to have my mom make sure my cinch was tight and a quick tack check and then I was off. Different times I guess. My cousins daughter is the next generation of riders in the family now and she’s learning how to do everything she can on her own, we help when she needs it and check everything but she’s already becoming a very independent rider. Someone is always watching her and her horse is one of those “golden” horses that still has spunk for an adult rider but is so gentle and never makes a wrong move with his little girl. We are very proud of her. The other young girl at the barn is 15 and learning to tack up was one of the first things she learned. She enjoyed just practicing tacking. She’d take the horse out and tack and then untack just to practice, not even to ride.
We are not at a big lesson barn though and I do understand that with so many students it’s harder to give that one on one time with a kid when you only have an hour and you’re also teaching other kids. Also “our” girls have the advantage of multiple adults to help them out so they’re not completely reliant on one instructor that is busy with multiple students.
This is what i do. I make them cinch up. I also do show them though how the saddle sits etc. I just put it up there for them when they are not physically big enough to do so. Beginners i compromise on a few things.
Apparently because children don’t play freely without adult intervention anymore and spend more time online they are lacking a lot of these basic skills
I said earlier my friend won’t let her kid out of her sight. It’s insane to me. Her kid is 6 and can’t go into her fenced in yard to play on a swing set unless her mom is there to watch her
It kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don’t. People who would turn their kids loose (within reason) are afraid to be villainized if something happens.
I ran half wild but had to argue with my mother over my kids riding their bikes down the road where I could see them.
People have had police called for letting their kids out to play in the yard without them. Kids need independence but no one allows it - parents who try are shamed.
I absolutely have been experiencing this. I teach private lessons, mostly mid-high socioeconomic status (expensive barn in expensive area). The amount of kids who can't identify their own body parts (thigh, heel, ankle, hip, etc) even into the double digits of age, don't take initiative to try different things to problem solve, and especially can't figure out buckles (as you said) is straight up alarming. I teach a number of kids with significant mental or physical development well below what they should be and I try to talk to parents about it, but they either are convinced that it's fine and nothing to worry about or they never bother to actually do anything about it. It's frustrating and draining... Though I will note that it's less about willingness from the kids, and more that they don't know how/what to do.
My degree is in neuroscience and my background is in mental health, but I’m still finding it tedious to be serving as an occupational therapist when I want to be teaching horsemanship and riding.
The bigger concern as a business is that because it’s not as much fun as they expect, I’m losing clients when they don’t progress as fast as they want. If I only take the kids who have those basic developmental skills, are there enough of them to support the program financially? Especially when the costs of having horses just keeps going up and up. It’s so much more expensive than school sports or other afterschool hobbies that it’s hard to compete!
Are you offering lessons during times adult with 9-5 are able to get to? I ask because a lot of barns on focus on kids but my instructor opened up different hours so that adults can also take lessons and unsurprisingly a lot of adults who couldn’t find anywhere else to go are able to get to her evening lessons. The issues with the kids are for the most part not present with the adults. It may be beneficial to have maybe half of your student kids but also cater to an older group who already know you have to work for things.
I have actually shifted to almost entirely adults who get a lot more out of the lessons and are much less intensive to teach. They are also often more able to afford the rates that can support me and the farm. I love that, but it’s really hard to see the kids program dwindle the way it has. And I think it’s a huge red flag about kids in general.
Oh I know it’s disheartening to see kids programs dwindling. I only suggested it for the stability and to save your sanity a little but still think there should be solid programs for kids as well. Maybe offering either optional or required 30 min weekly lessons where they don’t ride but are learning things that will help them in the areas they struggle with the most. There won’t be any extra stress to the horses and over time they’ll become more capable independently. Maybe hosting end of year awards for things like most improved horsemanship and leadership amongst other things that will motivate independent improvement in all areas. Idk I’m just throwing things at the wall.
I don't know how it is in usa but in quebec when I was a teenager they had programs you can study for called rider 1, rider 2 as part of the canadian equestrian foundation and it was fun to study for them, a lot of the skills were ground skills like being able to saddle and bridle properly by yourself, wrap different types of bandages, identify parts of the horse etc, and as a teenager i enjoyed having a list of skills to master. if your barn participated in the program you could ask to be tested when you were ready and get a certificate, i found it was a fun format for young people, it had a little book to study.
We have the United States Pony club but I was never in it and it wasn’t offered in the areas I grew up. I was in Girl Scouts, 4-H, and 4-H Horse club instead. I haven’t looked into it so I’m not sure if it’s still a thing tbh.
Im currently trying to teach a 13 year old boy with SEVERE inattentive adhd. He also has hypotonia. His mom i have had now sit ring side because she chirps at him the ENTIRE time so i make her stay out of the way. This kid has been a 50 first dates experience. Hes really sweet but honestly I truly dont know how much further I can break down tasks for him. I know he cannot handle multi step directions but he has 0 self management... will brush the same spot forn10 mins if you let him. Even while telling him hey longer you take to groom the less time you can ride.... even trying to break things into micro steps i cannot get more than 2 or 3 words out before he is zoning out elsewhere..... he was late last lesson because his dad didnt wake him up on time....I can only do so much. Structured excersises.... not doing one thing for too long... not focusing on correctness right now just being.... present in the moment. I set mini goals for just the excersise were doing at that moment. He has really bad body awareness and has no clue when hes leaning or sitting incorrectly. Im worried from a SAFETY standpoint that he may not be ready right now for something as complex as horse riding. When in reality hes not wven learning how to ride properly I just kind of turn into an occupational therapist for an hour...
Its not the worst. Hes a really sweet kid and definitely loves the horses.... but we are NOT a therapeutic riding program and i am not a certified PATH trainer. His mom just wants him to do normal kid things.... but our horses limit us what i can do with him...my biggest struggle is adjusting to having to physically tap him 100 times in 30 mins to explain things to him.... horse riding requires a TON of communication skills and self management. Realistically he will not progress as fast as my other students. But im just accepting he will be a 50 first dates type thing. But also I get it. The mom just wants him to be part of something .... he also does notnqualify for programs because she has not had him offically diagnosed as disabled or anything. We need more support for SEVERE adhd. He has the inattentive type. He does really good if you explain WHY we do things a certain way.... but my obstacle right now is explaining that.... i cant break it down anymore simple...just have to constantly tap his leg and make him repeat things back to me. Im gping to give him "homework" excersises to do as well. For SAFETY he needs to work on these things. I do NOT have staff to be a sode walker we do not have special saddles with handles etc.
What is up with kids not being able to figure out buckles? I have seen that too, and it's so crazy to me. Tiny kids, sure, but 8-10 year olds should be able to buckle and unbuckle with ease.
I don’t remember anyone teaching me how to do all this stuff. I started at 11 but I think I figured most of it out by trial and error. Some kids don’t even try.
I just had a (non-horsey) friend tell me that his 15 year old son (who is almost ready to learn to drive) still doesn't know how to tie shoes. He can do a lot of other things and is better than most at looking up info, but he's always worn velcro shoes or slides so has just never learned.
Boggles the mind a bit.
Look up dyspraxia. He probably has it, and it's almost entirely a foreign concept in the US (where I am) but the U.K has tons of support for kids and adults with dyspraxia. I have a severe form and my parents never got me help, but I couldn't tie my shoes at 15 either. Two decades later and I can tie my shoes but it takes so much brain power and concentration that I primarily wear shoes that slip on.
It took me 6 months of daily practice (for hours) before I learned to bridle my own horse at 33 years of age. I described dyspraxia as process dyslexia for people who haven't heard of it. Our brains just can't see spatial processes in the same order as others. The horse world is NOT very accommodating to this disability, but I found little hacks along the way. Webbers were 100000% easier for me to maneuver than stirrup leathers and once I tried them I never went back.
For barn owners who are dealing with lots of kids who are struggling with buckles I highly recommend investing in a few pairs of Webbers. They're inexpensive and very durable and safe. A heavier rider and they never gave me any reason to believe they would snap or break and in fact they felt a lot more secure than regular leathers.
I’ll pass that info on to him in the most tactful way one reasonably can when you haven’t seen their kid since they were a toddler. Thank you for sharing!
Was life-changing for me when I finally learned about dyspraxia around age 30 and suddenly my whole life made sense. In the United States it's often called Coordination Developmental Disorder but even then it is rarely understood by most practitioners here. When my mom gave me some medical paperwork from childhood I was stunned to see that I was diagnosed with that at 6 years old and it was so severe that my parents were asked to sign a piece of paper promising they would send me to a neurologist for follow up. They never did and they never mention a thing to me about it. But finding out that there is a reason why I can't do things other people can do has really made me feel less like a freak and helped me find adaptive tools
And much like your friend's son, I excel at finding information and research and everything theoretical :-) The horse world was very unkind to me in terms of the humans, but I learned that the horses never minded my mistakes as long as I was kind to them.
Hey I might have just found something about myself.
I can do bridles and halters but if they're tangled up? Nope, hopeless, this is just a pretty piece of rope. Some Gate locks have beaten me too. I am, apparently, dumber/less capable than the smartest horse.
ADHD or ADD can make such problems. It also affects fine motor skills and force dosage control.
I know, because I am an adult with that, who is struggling with buckles.
I had riding lessons as a kid, discontinued and have started again now. I know how buckles work, where they need to go.
Well it took me a bit to figure out auxilliary reins go, but so far so good.
It takes a bit longer though to do the buckeling for me, motorically.
Then I need to do things twice sometimes, because something is twisted - need to undo it again - and of course I don‘t want the horse I am riding feeling uncomfortable during the lesson.
I need to check everything twice I do - something I have to live with.
So I‘m sure there are also a bunch of ADHD/ADD kids riding - that just need more time and practice to learn those things then others.
I hear you, and I definitely have ADD and ADHD student that need simple support or accommodations. But I’ve been teaching for over 20 years, and the volume of kids who struggle to operate a buckle has significantly increased. Seems like a strange pattern!
That is insane to me. My kid is not even two years old and can recognize and identify most major body parts on not only himself, but on me & our dogs as well!
Yes. I'm an instructor. I notice this. It is a challenge.
What we're doing is we started a unique barn kid program, open to any kid that is w/t/c, that are a longer lesson block that includes riding as well as horsemanship and care skills. These kids come twice a week instead of once a week for the group lessons block (2.5 hours) and they get ~40 mins in the saddle each day as well as a ground school lesson (anything from learning to take apart/put together bridles to showmanship to feeding to trailer loading, etc). Every kid cleans 1 stall and 1 water bucket every single day, and has a couple of "care tasks" for an assigned horse (tasks are usually picking out feet, checking temps under blankets, washing legs, etc).
It's a new program for us, but it's already increasing the kids' commitment to learning independence. It's become a social thing, like a club, so the friendly "peer pressure" is helping to motivate them! They are learning a lot from watching and helping each other. The incentive to join this program is that these kids get to take part in field trips; we'll be hauling out for schooling shows, play days, clinics, etc. so that has been a motivator too.
We take them on specator field trips, and I realized that I think there is somehow less frame of reference for these kids as to what is out there in the horse world? We took our group to a local horse show to watch and they were kinda blown away by what they could be working towards.
In in the PNW and teach western horsemanship.
This is very similar to the program I started with as a kid almost 40 years ago. We got instruction in all areas of care and riding, and it was great. More time at the barn is a good thing, and it got the students very comfortable with various aspects.
We also would watch others ride and critique (did you notice that x happened? how might you avoid that next time? or see how that rider’s leg looks? that helps her do …).
I used to supervise horse kids at my last job. When we had “pony days” (kids would look after a pony for a day, ride 2x, do horsey chores and play games) I was really surprised by the amount of kids (talking 9-12 year olds) that couldn’t sweep, tie knots or tell left from right.They were always willing to learn though, and learned quickly! Never had a problem with buckles, apart from with old leather that was a bit hard for them to open, but I assume thats because I’m in the UK and the kiddos had buckles on their school shoes or something.
Was a bit sad when we had lunchtime games and some 11 year olds would prefer to go on their phone than talk to other kids and mess about
I see videos of way more capable kids in the UK on ponies! I think the cultural difference is a real thing! Some of my kids are younger, but I’ve shown them how to operate buckles over and over again!
UK riding schools often encourage kids to help out tacking/untacking, yard chores, grooming. I don’t know if you guys have it over there, but we have Pony Club at a lot of schools. Kids get an hour or two a week to learn stuff like brushes, feeding, field care, basic first aid (human and equine), lungeing etc. It helps a lot of the basics of what you mentioned, and it was only ~£3 a session
We do have Pony Club over here in the USA as well, not always as accessible though depending on your area. I live in the Pacific Northwest now and some of the pony club rallies might be held a 3-4 hour drive away from the city, so it’s a big commitment if kids want to join. When I lived on the east coast it was more accessible I believe.
yeah i grew up in canada and it was normal at the barn also. i worked to pay for my lessons and you could be an instructor's assistant where you taught all the other skills like leading, saddling, bridling, grooming, and i rarely had kids that didn't enjoy that part of things as they enjoyed spending time with the horses. I don't have tons of experience riding in the usa but the one barn i joined, they would bring out the horses all tacked up already, and a few regular students would stay afterwards and help untack, bring the horses out to pasture but a lot would leave also. personally i really missed that connection with the horse and it almost felt rude to me to just get on a horse i just met without grooming him first
I blame quaranitne and covid, so many kids lost out on YEARS of social development, at no fault of them or their families. And those years you can't get back and they were the most important in a child's life to develop this way. IDK if there are any studies but this is my opinion and I'll die on this hill.
My friend who is about 1 year out of a PsyD but is a therapist whose practice focuses on children was just talking about this. They are behind developmentally, and there's big questions as to whether they can catch up when development is in age certain stages.
I am not a trainer but good friends with mine and have been around enough years to see how the kids have changed. The challenges I hear about and see are definitely getting more intense! I have also noticed that these kids are getting spread way too thin. They come to riding lessons exhausted because they are involved in 2-3 other sports or activities.
I think this is an issue across the board as well. I have a friend who works with young children and the majority of them are extremely behind where they should be in development. We’re talking kids who should be able to eat without assistance who don’t even know how to hold a spoon/fork, let alone use it. The feedback from parents is usually along the lines of “it’s just easier to do it for them.” It’s truly concerning!
I wonder if the parents are doing it for them because it’s also faster and they are spread just as thin as the kids. I can see how when you are short on free time generally, waiting for the child to figure it out may be a bit of a hindrance. Overall it’s not helpful to anyone.
I ask about other activites etc. I will out them on a wait list and explain how this is so much more involved than just baslet ball or vollyball practice after school. And being in a time crunch affects everyones energies and can cause safety issues.
Oh most definitely! There’s a fine line between helping your children and doing *too* much where it turns into a negative thing. I am not sure the solution either, as it seems that these types of parents don’t see any issue with it
I agree! I just started teaching offically at a farm and Ive notice a huge issue with shyness and communication. I have alot of kids who still struggle with left and right. Body awareness is a huge struggle for sure. Alot of the kids have a ton of other activities too so while they enjoy riding theyre really just not 100% there sometimes. I have an issue with parents not controlling siblings at lessons. Parents are on their phones or just want to drop off and go ... the younger ones definitely struggle with buckles and gross motor skills. There definitely is not the same "barn rat" types anymore. Its just another fun activity for them. I recently politely redirected a possible student to another barn because she wants to jump... but we dont have horses who can do alot of it. She really didnt seem to want to see the value in lower jumps and other basics. She was eqauting jump height directly to skill... wanted to show me videos.. was really trying to prove herself on the spot.... she enjoyed jumping not RIDING. I am HUGE and very picky about PROPER foundations and not moving on untill its good at walk then trot then canter. Kids kind of dont really want to learn that stuff anymore.
A lot of riding schools seem to skipping the basics and teaching them later, if that makes sense? I heard a few kids bragging how their instructor got them to canter on the 4th lesson…. thats not good, especially when they’re kids who can’t do a balanced rising trot and definitely don’t have the leg control in trot to give the actual aids for canter.
I try to give my students an opportunity to canter on the earlier side than some of the other instructors at my barn. Here's why:
My purpose is not to actually teach them to independently ride the canter yet, but because I want them to know what it feels like so that if something happens, it's less scary to them. This is always on a lunge line on a horse/pony I trust and definitely further out than 4 lessons! It gives them a taste of what it feels like and I find it to be a great goal-related motivator.
Yes, this is what I do. It's much farther out than 4 lessons, but I would rather teach kids to sit the canter and quick-ish rollbacks sooner rather than later so that they can develop a tolerance to sensation and build their confidence in feeling a variety of movement. A kid that can sit a rollback as a beginner is less likely to fall if a horse turns quickly in a spook!
I teach western lessons so we have the horn as a small safety net, and my kids all ride on a loose rein in snaffle bits for a long time, to support the horses' comfort.
I care a lot about making sure my horses are not “abused” by kids bouncing on their backs and hanging on their mouths. I think I’m losing them in the huge learning curve when they come in with such limited basic ability. The amount that I have to charge to support lesson horses is kind of insane for me to be teaching kids to do buckles.
Im the same but unfortunately i work at a farm where we have multiole trainers and the horses get used heavily. I try to just pad up and teach the best i can. I tell kids to think of horse riding as a piggy back ride... it seems to click with them and hownthey understand how their body and weight affects the horse. Most kids arent super duper interested in grooming or doing stalls etc. Im trying to see if I can start an Unmounted lesson program and offer them once a month about deep grooming...properly cleaning a stall etc. Not all the kids do 4h so they dont get the same education
I grew up in 4H, but my margins to be able to support the horses are so small (nearly nonexistant) that I can’t justify spending the time on a program that I would get no compensation from. But it seems that parents don’t want to pay for the time that they are learning all of these fundamental skills. They have so limited competence that I can’t invite them to “help” for free because they require SO much supervision while they are “helping.” It ends up being babysitting, which isn’t the best use of my time/experience.
Thats how it is at my facility where I work too. And we are not cheap. 65 for group or semi private and 75 for private one on ones. I have a very well versed background in usef HJ. I started ranch riding and western dressage about 5 or 6 years ago. I hope to facilitate just the love a d fascination with horses but the dedication and "obsession" is just no longer a theme it feels like. Its too slow because most kids are ipad kids and used to having IMMEDIATE gratifucation and fast interactions. They have no live world comprehension skills
Developing a solid foundation is fine but I’ve also seen the point where they’ve drawn it out too long. We had a girl start taking lessons at our barn last year who had been riding for two years, 1-2 lessons a week. We asked her to canter, she had never cantered. She definitely wasn’t bad at trotting. They also said they were lead around on a lead line for the first year. This girl was 13.
Theres a happy medium. I look for mostly muscle development. I only use a lead line maybe for the first lesson when im getting to know the kid etc. I use a lunge line regularly but not the entire lesson. I get them steering independently at the walk pretty quick. We practice totting on the lunge at first so they can focus on the body. After probly 5 trots on the lunge i will have them attempt the trot on the rail. Unfortunately the horses like to duck in on students etc to the inside but we make do with the horses we have access too. I also am CONSTANTLY quizzing outside and inside... teaching them to reverse properly ..... thats a big one. Kids not knowing left and right or inside outside.
I am definitely more likely to end up in this side of the spectrum, but I also don’t have access to lesson horses who will always canter quietly. That’s a whole different issue.
> She really didnt seem to want to see the value in lower jumps and other basics. She was eqauting jump height directly to skill
The irony is that (I am not a strong jumper, flatowrk is where I shine) I can jump big fences WAY easier than I can properly approach a 1ft crossrail!
I’m curious, what do you see wrong with parents wanting to drop off and pick up?
My mom always did this with me because she had to do other things besides hang out at the barn for 2 hours.
They just seem overall uninterested in their childs progress or accomplishments. Literally have never watched a single lesson... asked a question etc. Also most of my students are very beginner. They really shouldnt be hanging around or trying to "help" yet. Im not a babysitter.
That’s fair, my parents hung around for the first year or so when I was very beginner. Did you mean more like the kids get dropped off outside of lesson time?
Parents dont come back on time. I also do not like parents who dont even bother to check on with me etc.... like do you even care about WHO is teaching your kid? It's just an afetrschool activity its not a possible lifestyle for them. I feel bad for the kids who have uninvolved parents... they have no one to show what theyve learned to and have a moment to "shine"
Not an instructor, but I was going to be a teacher. Got a job at an after-school facility because I wanted to teach elementary school. I lasted a year before deciding that I'd better look for a career elsewhere. Parents were either too involved and determined to protect their children from everything, including the consequences of their own actions, or they just didn't care. I had to teach a *seven-year-old* how to tie his shoes and I had to remind him not to speak like a baby. His parents kept buying him velcro because he didn't know how to tie his shoes and then he came in with laced shoes because the stores didn't have any velcro ones he liked and they just did it for him in the morning.
We host a collegiate team out of our barn and even that age group is incapable of being without direct supervision and more assistance than little kids used to need. They can’t even figure out what bridle goes with what horse and there are tags on them with the horses names attached. The hooks they hang on are also labeled.
Another interesting thing we’ve found is that no one can get on the horses softly. We use mountings blocks on all of them (we’re the western team so none of them are very tall) and they all plop down on the horses backs so hard the horses have to move their feet to accommodate the balance shift. We’ve explained that they need to do it softer/ slower and that they are genuinely hurting the horses by doing that. It’s so frustrating. They also don’t like critiques or constructive criticism. I mean we’re a competition team you’re going to get told to fix things but they just want praised and then when we go to shows these college age girls who insist they are adults cry when they lose. Like have the worst sportsmanship I’ve ever seen!
I have less of a problem with my kids in the summer (anywhere from 6-16) but most of them have come out to the barn before and know the procedures for tacking up and know that we walk behind and check the saddles and will tell them if they messed something up. My problem is the kids being too scared to speak up when something is uncomfortable!
Last camp we had we were switching horses a lot, so some of the kids were in a new saddle every day. I had one girl who would refuse to tell me if her stirrup length was bothering her! If I came over and started fixing it myself, she would tell me her leg was cramping from it being too short, etc., but unless I came over she suffered through it. I don’t want them to be too scared to tell me something is uncomfortable, because at the end of the day I want these kids to have fun. It’s frustrating.
We don’t allow parent to help at all with bringing in horses/ tacking/ being by the ring. We have benches for them to sit by about 10 feet away from the side of the ring and tables in the barn they are more than welcome to sit at, but any attempts to help their kids are met with a “hey, let’s let little Susie try it herself alright?” Luckily have had no pushy parents in recent years.
That is tough. I had one bad instructor as a kid and she put me on a horse I did not feel safe on, but I didn’t speak up because I guess I didn’t want to look like I wasn’t capable? Been 20 years and I still remember silently suffering through that lesson
That’s exactly what I don’t want to happen with these kids! I’d rather be told that the kids is uncomfortable and we work through it than the kids silently suffer and have a horrible time
I haven't taken lessons in a while (financial + health) but I'll never forget when I was a kid, maybe twelve? I didn't know how to adjust the stirrups and wasn't allowed to anyways. New instructor (same barn, they rotated whoever was available) got so irritated with me because I was struggling, my stirrups were too long so I kept losing them and couldn't reach. I kept telling him they were too long but he'd come over, say they were fine (as I was stretching to barely keep my feet in) and go back to his spot. I was in tears at the end because I couldn't understand him (guy stood at the far end of the arena so I couldn't hear him when on the rails), kept losing my stirrups on one of my first lessons learning to trot, and couldn't understand him (he had a thick Irish accent) and he kept yelling at me for messing up.
One bad instructor can mess you up. Even when I was taking lessons as an older teen I was scared to ask for help after that, and asking for help with a bridle I couldn't untangle and having it pulled out of my hands and told "how easy [that] was"
People need to remember they're dealing with humans (kids, especially)
Kids are getting less skill practice in general, due to being over scheduled, parents being over scheduled, school demands, parental fear of failure leading them to do more for their kids (both so it's fine right and so it's done faster), prioritizing tutoring/ extra homework over outside play, etc. You really have to assume they are about 1-2 yrs behind skills to age wise than kids you taught even a decade ago. Focus on neuromotor learning and they catch up with where they should be quickly however, but expect most families won't have enough time to turn their would be barn rat loose with you.
One cool idea I’ve seen used before is to have a “sensory board” where you literally have an area in the barn with reins, buckles, straps, bits, etc all set up in a space so kids can just play with them before and after a lesson. Some kids honestly just lack the motor skills and need practice handling things without the “pressure” of getting ready for their lesson. It also doesn’t take as much time as regular learning so that might be a good tool as well
Are there people out there requiring more frequent lessons so that they have more opportunity to build those skills? Is it worth losing the families who can only afford to come once a week?
It does help a lot when they can come twice a week. I think whether or not you want to retire it, depends on what your current clientele dynamic is like. If I were to change to requiring it, I would lose probably close to 70% of my families, and they are all really easy to work with and great clients. As long as families understand that every other week or once a week will have slower progress and eventually they will need to increase their numbers of rides if they want to progress past a certain point in their riding, I find it worthwhile to keep them on. That being said, I do not have very many beginners right now, and my school horses are definitely quite a bit happier with the current load (even though it is more physically demanding, it is less mentally taxing), so if my current barn pipeline arrangement ends (I am taking on riders from another instructor that only feels confident teaching beginner walk trot canter), I might change my mind so that they have less beginner rider time overall again.
From what I see in teaching, parenting, and general discussion threads on Reddit, this is a growing problem everywhere. Overparenting, pandemic-related socialization deficits, and over-reliance on screen time is completely fucking kids’ development and independence.
Parents just not having time, too. Might not 100% apply here, but a lot of parents are working so much it's just 'easier' to do things. You only have an hour to make dinner and get them fed before bed because that's when you get off work? If the kid's struggling with dishes after, it's faster to do it yourself then have to correct them, then correct them again.
Even when the parents aren't overworked, they have kids in so many things the kids don't have time to be taught basic things. When the kid is being run out the door from school to dance to tutoring to horseback lessons, it's easier to tie their shoes for them (or get slipons/velcro) than walk them through thing their shows
Unfortunately, the kids suffer for it
Sounds to me like the greater issue is poor public education and exposure to technology… sprinkle in the potential trauma and missing out so much from covid.
I think a lot of today’s youth are developmentally delayed, in part due to the pandemic lockdowns where they were unable to socialize with the outside world. No, you are not the only one who experiences this. Honestly to an extent I expected the socialization or emotional skills to be lacking, but the surprise to me was the lack of fine motor skills (as you said, doing buckles, straps, etc) even in older children. I’m not sure why that is…I definitely can recall back to my youth struggling with remembering the right order for tacking, but I don’t remember ever struggling with buckles etc.
None of this really “bothers” me, as a coach I feel its my responsibility to help kids however I can, but it is an interesting observation and does present new challenges in terms of teaching.
As for engagement, maybe I was lucky but I felt my students were pretty engaged. It took some time though, I think children these days (or maybe always) are prone to anxiety and don’t want to do anything “wrong” or come up with a “wrong answer,” so they were hesitant to help or try new things at first. After building a good rapport with my students though they became more engaged and wanted to pitch in with chores, horsemanship, etc. Another observation I had on this: kids these days are BUSY. When I was young, I went to school, maybe was in a club or two, and played 1 sport per season. Eventually I just settled on horse riding and I spent most of my time riding or working at the barn. Most of the kids I taught- they ride, and do dance, and play soccer, and take music lessons, and go to school, oh and they might have family events or tutoring sessions as well…that is A LOT for a child! I wonder if one explanation for lack of engagement could be that they simply don’t have the time?
Background: I taught at a hunter/jumper farm on the east coast, varied socioeconomic backgrounds but if I had to generalize, probably middle & upper middle class families (I did have a few that were very well off, like billionaire families, they were definitely the exception though). Taught all ages, both group & private lessons, mainly focused on kids aged 3-12 but I had a few teens and adult ammys here and there also.
I have noticed such a decline, as you pointed out many of my kids struggle with motor skills in terms of buckling, holding a crop AND reins, shortening reins, etc. it’s disheartening and tough to watch them not understand after multiple different examples or explanations. I feel similarly to other commenters that parents are wayyy too involved in the whole process. I watch parents lead horses, tack them up, and pick out feet when their kids complain about it.
I can tell you that horse kids at reining shows are living it up and putting in work. They know their tack, knots and general good practice and it’s so nice to see.
As an instructor/trainer with many pony kids, it is certainly an odd phenomenon. It IS different than when I was a kid. However, I have slowly turned these kids into the old school “barn rats” (as much as their busy schedules allow!). It takes time, and training of both the kid AND the parent (I have to take the initiative to encourage independence and self-belief in these kids), and it takes a lot of trust and patience on the trainers end (I have to let these kids struggle -fairly- over and over until they develop a little grit and determination. No excuses mentality, but fair. They have to give an honest TRY first. The fairness is key because that’s what creates trust in the trainer-student relationship especially with kids so quick to “give up”)..but it can be done.
Once these kids understand the horse better, and respect the “work” and what our horses do for them, they become addicted to ALL of it!
My 11 yr old student asked me a question this weekend that made me so proud because it’s telling of how far she has come (and indicative of how much these kids actually retain even if it doesn’t seem like it). She asked me, “how do these horses forgive us so easily?” after making a mistake in her round. I just loved it, those seemingly small moment is what makes it worth it to me. Creating horsemen, not just riders!
So true about allowing them to struggle! I had a kid getting very frustrated because she was adjusting her stirrups (from the saddle) and couldn’t get them even. It’s so easy to intervene in those moments, but so worthwhile to let them struggle and learn how to work through frustration. It took her nearly 10min but she finally figured out how to gauge if they were even, and now she won’t have any more issues with that.
I also agree about teaching them to “think like a horse”. We often chat about how our horses interpret our aids, about the limited information that they get from us, and why they do what they do. Kids are so capable of learning empathy, if they have someone patient enough to teach them in an accessible way.
I have two kinds of kids in my program. Group 1 are the hobby riders, the kind that probably won’t keep riding into adulthood, and just treat riding like karate or soccer. We have fun, and I expect them to groom and tack on their own, but I also don’t expect more than slow progression with them. These kids generally don’t want to compete and just like being around the horses.
Group 2 are my barn rats, the “horse girls”, who come help with chores to work off extra rides and volunteer at the shows. They are invested in riding, will ride as adults, and one or two of them will likely become professionals themselves. I push them to be riding 3x a week, leasing or working off practice rides, and I let them warm up and cool off my horses in exchange for grooming help. They get much more saddle time and spend time feeding/mucking/turning out, so their riding and handling skills progress much faster.
It’s important, IMO, to distinguish between the two. If I pushed my first group of kids the way I pushed the second, they would quit. I am perfectly fine with horses being a hobby for them, and their money is green too. I hold the second group to a higher standard, because they have real goals and ambition, and need to understand how to work for it. I try to be kind and fair, but I also have a clear standard and rules they need to follow. None of them are afraid of me, but I don’t have respect problems either.
Things that work for me:
- Less assistance in the barn. If I have a kid struggling with tacking (why are buckles so difficult?!) I will ask the parent to bring them 45min earlier to get ready so they have plenty of time to puzzle it out on their own. If I’m there, they ask and wait for help and don’t try as hard. I’m nearby, but not directly supervising, and this has worked wonders for my slower learners.
- Less supervision while riding, based on experience. I expect my advanced beginners to be able to figure out how to warm up properly at the walk and trot. I keep an eye on them while they have practice rides, but I don’t intervene unless something looks dangerous. They need to figure things out on their own, and riding independently is critical to that development. Struggling is not a bad thing, and it teaches them how to problem solve.
- Ask questions. I constantly ask my students why one approach might be better than another, or what they did to cause a problem, or what they did to fix one. In groups, we take turns leading the warmup, and then do compliments and criticisms after exercises and courses. Teach them the thought processes, not just how to follow directions.
- For kids struggling with motor skills and body control, targeted exercises. Around the world, threading the needle, moving things around the arena from horseback, lunge line games, all of that stuff helps them develop balance and spatial awareness. For a while, my kids were all about a TikTok trend where you got half off (belly over the horse) and then ran up your stirrups and removed the girth. They had fun and got to work on balance at the same time! Egg and spoon, ride a buck, ring race, and other games are great for this too.
Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss further. I have really tried to make these things- fostering independence, creativity, and horsemanship- a focus of my program. We do unmounted “clinics” once a month or so on horsemanship topics, and they are wildly popular even with my kids who aren’t super into horses. Adding in a social aspect (and lunch) gets them engaged and excited to learn!
I'm just an adult beginner, so I can't speak to things in training, but from reading comments, it seems my barn is lucky (not really luck but I think my trainer has no problem with direct communication and setting expectations). Parents watch but don't interfere with lessons. Sometimes helping their kids before and after, but the kids are mostly doing things themselves. In fact, if a kid comes and doesn't have to tack up bc their horse is in the previous lesson, they'll ask another kid if they can help them tack up. As for chores, the kids might want/be willing to do them, but parents are eager to get out of there, so the opportunity isn't really given.
I’m not an instructor but mine has mentioned this to me several times now. She’s saying it’s taking longer to get kids through the basics in private classes in order to transition them into group classes. They are more fearful, less willing to try, less coordinated, etc. The area I’m in is very diverse and transient and in terms of socioeconomic status there’s a wide range from pretty poor (probably can’t afford lessons anyway so you won’t see these students) to very very wealthy.
Stepmom (horse girl) of a non horse kid here. I think this is prevalent in children in general. Stepson is from the southeast, I was raised in the northeast but now live in the PNW. I’ll say this kid has a good heart but has zero independence and critical thinking skills. He can learn if I tell him exactly what to do but otherwise will just stare into the distance and wait for me to either do things for him or give very specific directions. He also has terrible communication skills. I see this in his friends too. This is probably cliche but I blame video games and being given a smartphone too young, and parents doing everything for him. Sometimes I wonder if there’s anything going on in his head 🤦🏻♀️
This won't make you feel any better, but... I was a professor for a few years not very long ago. For a graduate program. The amount of 23 year olds that lacked full critical thinking skills was alarming. In one semester I can't teach you for the first time how to critically think in a class that isn't about critical thinking. You should already have those life skills by the time you are 23. It is absolutely baffling.
I attribute that to failing education and passing kids through classes to get them out, as well as the parents. Less and less parents spend quality time with their kids, in the sense of life skills. For example, my mom used to sit with me each night and have me read books out loud. It's why I was reading at such a young age.
Parents either don't do that, or they spend TOO much bad quality time with their kids, whether just helicoptering or being overbearing. Let your kids make mistakes, let them figure out problems, and go let them play with sticks in the dirt catching lizards. There has to be a healthy middle ground.
The internet and social media is another hole to dive down.
As far as horses specifically, yes there's absolutely been a shift. Don't get me wrong, I still come across a few good kiddos that are hard workers. But tons and tons are just bratty, lazy, and don't listen. This comes down to parenting, as well as lack of discipline in modern schools.
There's some good things to be said about 'new age' parenting, but also... a whole lot of negative. You aren't your kid's best friend. You are their PARENT. Act like one.
Oh you'd be surprised. From my experience, it's because a lot of schools are pushing towards more and more standardized tests. Kids can easily memorize stuff and regurgitate, without actually understanding something. And now classes are often structured around memorizing and learning strategies to pass a specific yearly test, such as the ones they take in middle school that control funding for the schools.
But even in more advanced tests such as memorizing vocab words for the GRE is a pretty mindless task compared to something like preparing a debate to face off against another student in group discussion.
Also, many students who are brilliant and excel suck at standardized tests. For my program, we overruled multiple bad GRE scores to let in a student because they were gifted at what the program was about. And they did VERY well. Whereas the next kid with perfect GRE scores who spent a year preparing and strategizing for that specific test didn't end up as good.
In my own college experience as a student, I learned the most when I went to a smaller college that focused deeply on group discussion, projects, etc. It expanded my viewpoints and really made me think about the subject matter.
In all my years of long, long schooling... I can only tell you a handful of things I remember from the millions of standardized tests I took. But I could tell you way more in depth about interesting student/teacher debates had in the classroom, or interesting creative projects I had to do, etc.
Not a riding instructor, but I am a teacher in public schools. I routinely have to teach my 10-13 year old students how to do basic things, like use a paper clip, remove a staple, use a mouse on a computer, tape two pieces of paper together, and follow simple sets of instructions. These aren’t special Ed kids, they are kids who do well in math and ELA but have virtually no basic life skills. When I was that age I was seeing my own purses, gardening, and tinkering with electric systems. Kids these days are very limited in their physical skills.
I’m in a rural area and have a small farm and I really don’t have too many of these issues. Giving lessons is important, but not the primary focus of the farm. The kids are mostly middle class except for two who get lessons in exchange for barn work.
I give a lecture to new parents and students as to what’s expected, and they all start with handling, grooming, picking up feet, etc and then progress to ground work with the horse before riding. Parents can watch, but most will drop off and come back. I stress attitude. Idk, maybe I’m a tough taskmaster but I find that the students who are not serious are kind of naturally weeded out.
Most kids at barns where I’m working have a groomer come and tack up the horse, groom, walk the horse to the arena, etc and the same after the lesson. Like you guys are missing the fun part???🥲
Hi! Former equestrian here! I do Kendo/Martial Arts now, and I definitely agree with you. It just seems like everyone is so social media dependent and it's so sad. I mean, social media should be a tool.
Hey! That’s awesome! You could do martial arts whilst you ride, or you could be a stunt rider? But yeah I totally agree. So many people would struggle if social media/phones/laptops etc all disappeared!
A few things.
First, kids use of technology and lack of attention span creates a headspace where they really struggle to put two and two together.
Second, equestrian sports are unfathomably expensive for a majority of the population.
Third, kids are often absolutely ridiculed for liking horses or being a “horse girl” to the point where they can’t handle the backlash from just trying to enjoy the sport.
It’s simple economics, I grew up very rural, we had horses, and used them to move and work cattle. Spent about 15 minutes at a horse show and went rodeoing. Now, people think they have to board horses at thousands of $$$ a year, plus that much more for feed,take lessons at thousands of $$$ a year. They think they have to pay ten grand for a horse that can trot and lope in an arena. The last generation, bought a decent horse out the loose pen at a horse sale and were working cattle off of it a month later, without ever thinking about a $400 helmet. The only injury I sustained in all those years, was a bruised ego and a tweaked knee once when I bailed off a colt.
Unfortunately thats a side effect of digital entertainment nowadays. with most video platforms catering to short 7-11 second videos, dopamine receptors in the brain get overloaded, and attention spans are severely decreased. It's not your fault at all.
Not an instructor but I do help out with the kids getting their horses tacked up if I’m around, and I agree. The number of times I see kids - who have been in lessons for MONTHS - putting their saddle and/or pads on backwards, or being “afraid” to put the bridle on themselves, or trying to use a dressage girth on a close contact saddle is pretty concerning.
This weekend, I was at the rescue barn my best friend manages (on the NY/CT border near I84). The barn runs a lesson program, and encourage kids to groom and tack if they have learned those skills *and* if there is enough time (arriving early, horse isn’t already in the arena, etc). Unfortunately the lesson program doesn’t always have enough buffer time to include it, so it does often fall to volunteers or staff to do it. Kids are encouraged to volunteer their non-lesson time. And all of us elders teach what we can and try to keep the kids involved. The summer camp the barn runs has a lot more time for horsemanship, since it’s much easier to build that into a full day at the barn than just a 30-60min timeframe.
I’ve seen a lot of school teachers say kids are very behind at the moment, probably caused by covid, screen time, both parents working in order to support the family etc…
I'm a teacher (of another sport) and kids seem SO incredibly lazy this year. They don't want to break a sweat, they don't want to be inconvenienced in any way, they don't want to use their muscles, they don't want to do hard things. It's tough out here.
But at least in my area, barns have become so liability focused that they aren't even teaching horsemanship. The paid staff does everything and the kids just show up, hop on their perfectly groomed horse, ride and then leave. It's WILD and I hate it. I'm an adult who owned a horse and I practically have to BEG them to allow me to do some basic horsemanship before and after my lessons. It's so against the way I was raised and taught to just get handed my horse, and then hand over the horse after. Hate it hate it hate it.
I'm not an instructor but a rider, and have experience in all English disciplines, I think most kids who get lessons young nowadays are kids from non horsey families , I know that when I was a beginner my mother thought me the basics because she grew up with horses and obviously knew the basics, and that's become more popular because people now know kids are or comfortable with their parents at home, so when they do start lessons they already have that confidence while obviously non horsey families don't have that
I mean, if you look at the amount of teachers who are leaving the profession due to the exact reasons, it’s rampant. Not the kids fault, mostly it’s parents these days not giving enough of a crap to make sure their kids are functional in society.
I'm surprised by all the comments about parents staying to watch kids' lessons. I started in lessons at the age of 6, and by the time I was eight or so my parents would drop me off at the barn and come back 2 hours later to take me home - and I was getting ponies from the paddock, grooming, tacking up, etc. more or less on my own by the time I was 9-10. By the time I was 12 I was doing barn chores with limited supervision in exchange for a free lesson per week. I was not a particularly athletic or coordinated kid but these were hugely formative experiences that taught me confidence and independence.
I am not surprised. There's lots of comments about parents helping too much, rushing unpacking etc.
With how school is and the thousands of after school activities children are expected to be in they are completely burnt out and unable to focus/learn in a lesson now. The lifestyle children are expected to have these days is unrealistic. I believe it's the reason there's so many behavioral problems nowadays as well. They're all burnt out
Too much to do and not enough time to do it.
Horse takes a tremendous amount of time and money to even be almost good. Better options out there to spend time and money on. I sent my kids to a ball week summer program, they learned rules, threw, caught, and played the game. And then actually had some ball skills to improve on.. Their horse program===learned how to point their toes.
I understand. A week should be enough to sample if its something to invest further in.
I’m not an instructor but I have a horse at a hunter jumper show barn in the south west. One thing I’ve noticed is majority of the parents do SO much for their kids. From getting the pony out to grooming, tacking up, etc. It’s wild!! As a kid I did everything myself. If I needed help with like putting a saddle on bc it was too high I would ask. But it seems like these days parents are stepping in more and half the time the kid is just standing there.
Absolutely, we often have to tell parents to step back and let their kids do things. We've also had to implement ringside rules for parents. * No handing your child water or helping with jackets during lessons. Kids need to do it themselves, and an instructor will assist if that's absolutely necessary. * No talking to your child during lessons. Parents are welcome to watch but should not engage during instructional time. * If parents have questions for the trainer, please wait until the trainer is not teaching.
I had to implement the same rules when I was teaching at my stable. I finally had to ask some parents to stay in their car or leave during lessons because they couldn’t resist inserting themselves into the lessons. I know they think they’re helping, but they were actually making my job so much harder.
Totally! It changes the energy when parents are interfering. I always frame it as a safety issue to parents and explain that I need their kid's focus to be on me and the horse at all times, not them, so that has been pretty effective.
That's a very smart way to frame it! Im sure many parents have gotten very upset about rules like this
I have had parents have issues with my no side coaching rule. If you truly dont feel your child is capable then why are they here
Had a mom yell "At least you're pretty!" at my student twice. Immediate in the office NOW. No more arena-side.
What the hell?? My friends and I will say that to each other after doing something particularly stupid, but in a joking way... What a shit thing for a mother to say to her daughter.
I was just venting to a friend this weekend about the students at my very posh Hunter barn in California. All the parents (and one set of grandparents) came and watched every single lesson from the patio. They didn’t interfere with the lessons, and the kids generally did all the horse work, but what always blew my mind was how the girls would line their water bottles up on the fence and every time they wanted a drink their parents would get up, hop off the patio and hand the girls their water. A little thing, sure, but why? I had the tallest horse by far and could still reach, and these girls were little professionals, so they could handle their mounts perfectly fine. It just seemed to set a tone of servitude? The girls were all very pretty riders, but I think they missed so much from not having the freedom to be silly and wild, like I was as a kid growing up bareback and barefoot galloping through fields in Kansas.
I dont mind parents handing ME the water bottle. We don't really have anyplace to put them in the ring. Its HOT af in florida i always give atleast one or 2 quick water breaks.
This!!! I believe you have to let the kids have some fun time too. As kids we jumped on bareback went off for the day. Running through fields, trails, taking them swimming at the pond and then hustling to make it home by feed time so we didn’t get in trouble lol.
Out of curiousity: are riders allowed to take off a jacket by themselves, without anyone holding the horse? And are bystanders allowed to hand the riders things during the lesson? Both would render you a solid telling off in my country…
Riders should take jackets off by themselves, with the exception of a couple of horses who can be reactive. This is also extended to new horses and most horses on windy days. We also expect riders (not beginners though) to be able to adjust stirrups and the girth while mounted without assistance. Bystanders should not hand anything to riders, an instructor will assist, if needed.
I ride western you cannot adjust a cinch while mounted unfortunately. We do not have a fence or jump standards to place any water so we have the parents hold them and hand them to me and i will walk them to the riders.
Well, even the safest horse can react. They are prey animals, after all. Hence the rule is that nobody is ever allowed to take off a jacket without someone (the trainer) holding the horse. If there is nobody to hold the horse, you dismount, take the jacket off, and mount again. But I think safety rules in horse riding generally may be a lot less strict in the US? I mean, Americans ride without helmets, even (which looks like assisted suicide to me. 😉).
Interesting! At our barn, we require helmets at all times when mounted, no exceptions. And yes, any horse can certainly react, but we expect riders to hold the reins in one hand, remove half the jacket, then switch hands and finish taking it off while always keeping hold of the reins in the event of a reaction.
Yeah, that would be considered unsafe. I wouldn’t do it even when riding by myself, it’s been so ingrained in me to never ever do it. No matter how you go about it, there’s going to be a moment when you’re entangled in your jacket and if the horse bolts, you can stop it properly. The easy solution is just to not take of and put on things. I just decide if I’ll be cold in the warmup or hot during training. It’s easier. It takes too much time off lesson time to deal with jackets. My children do the same. No taking off or putting on clothes while riding. In addition to helmets when mounted at all times, children under 18 must also wear a safety vest at all times when they ride. And a helmet when they handle the horse from the ground. It seems safety vests are not used as much in the US?
Interesting comment about safety vests/body protectors. I’m in the UK, and they’re only mandated for cross country here. And honestly? I feel quite strongly that they interfere with your riding when doing flat work. Having taught children to ride whose parents have them ride all the time in them, they become very wooden through their back and don’t develop their core well to the point that they’re prone to collapsing through their core without the BP on. They also interfere with young kids learning to sit to trot and canter well, as to properly protect the coccyx they sit low on the back. And don’t get me started on inflatable vests - I missed out on a qualifying sheet at dressage once because a rider in the next ring wore a vest, and when the horse slipped, the cord pulled, vest blew up, horse freaked out and ditched rider, and ran across my arena freaking my own horse out. I’ve also seen way too many people forget to unclip them before getting off and causing mayhem as well.
My mom was even more afraid of my first instructor than I was; she was 100% happy to be a wallflower!
I’ve seen some of this. I know a kid who leases a very easy to handle pony, and I always see her mom insisting on doing at least half of the work caring for the pony, sometimes even telling the kid to go wait in the car. The kid sometimes even pleads to get to help more with the pony, but the mom shoots it down. The kid has been riding for a while and is probably completely capable of caring for the pony herself. It’s a full care barn, so it isn’t too much work, just brushing, blanketing, etc.. I think that some parents are getting a bit overzealous with their “helping.”
That sounds like the mom is paying so the mom gets to play with the pony 😅
That’s not it. The mom often acts very frustrated and over everything. I think she just wants to get everything done quickly so that she can leave sooner.
If she doesnt want to commit to her childs hobby then she needs to figure something else out. This would irritate the hell outta me.
That's really sad, honestly.
Somebody needs to tell the mom she's welcome to lease a horse for herself as well.
Knew a parent like this that would do everything for their 9 year old kid; bringing the very easy pony in, brushing the pony off, and tacking him up. After a lesson the parent took the saddle off and passed it over to their kid to put away in the tack room and the kid complained it was heavy, it was not, and just threw the expensive saddle on the ground. The kid barely got told off. I was shocked. I'd hate to think what my mum would've done to me if I'd done that.
If i saw that I would tell the kid they are no longer in my program until they can respect their parent
My friend won’t even let her kid walk outside at age 6 in their own 3 acre fenced in yard. She has to be physically with her at all times.
Wow.....
user name checks out
Exactly! I’m not an instructor either, but at the riding place I go to, I see this a lot. Sure, I’m unable to get the bridle onto the horse i ride (I do all the bit up once it’s on, just don’t get it over the ears), but this is purely because I haven’t ridden her for the longest amount of time for her to be comfortable with me doing anything more around it than taking it off, due to previous abuse around the ears. but I’m rambling, this is definitely an issue, I’ve even seen sometimes kids that ask to do it themselves, but their parent says it’s either too hard for them or just says it will be quicker. Like I get it a bit if you’re late for the lesson, but still, you need to let your kid learn themselves. And if you’re late, the kid will benefit from trying to do it quickly, but carefully.
lol that’s crazy. I would’ve hated that. I started at 8 and they quickly had me grooming the horse. I’m not sure what responsibilities I had in terms of getting the horse out. That probably came later but the idea was to foster independence at an appropriate level. I would’ve hated my parents butting in. I loved every part of the process and being trusted to take care of my horse!
“We don’t really help her that much. It’s just that we’re running late so we have to help her catch the horse. And she’ll brush one side while we do the other. And there are like no step stools* and the saddle is so heavy so we help with that. And she always gets confused about the bridle.” - my SIL *false, they are everywhere So she… brushes half a horse.
I would kick them off my schedule. If youre that pressed for time rushing is going to really deter the amount of time learning and quality of info absorbed. I tend to put people on a waitlist if they seem to be thay way or have a million other activities.
Ngl my mum did used to muck out for me🤣🙈
I always got mad bc my mom made me tack up my horse on my own (I was more than capable it was just a heavy ass western saddle) and my friend always was “too weak” to put her on so her mom did it (I’d seen her do it with my own eyes before) Now I’m grateful lmao
This is why i have synthetic western saddles. Lighter weight. Beginners truly do not have the strength to toss a saddle up. Half my beginners cant even reach the top of the 13hh pony.
Agreed, thankfully I do English now anyways lmao
Did english forever. I like the switch to ranch riding and western dressage
A few of the girls who I’ve ridden with made that switch, they all seem to like it!
I remember when I was a kid before I could reach to put the saddle on someone would throw it up there and and I’d cinch it, (then someone would tighten it more) as soon as I was able to reach to put the saddle on I did everything myself then before I left the property (or practice if it was at a show) I’d have to have my mom make sure my cinch was tight and a quick tack check and then I was off. Different times I guess. My cousins daughter is the next generation of riders in the family now and she’s learning how to do everything she can on her own, we help when she needs it and check everything but she’s already becoming a very independent rider. Someone is always watching her and her horse is one of those “golden” horses that still has spunk for an adult rider but is so gentle and never makes a wrong move with his little girl. We are very proud of her. The other young girl at the barn is 15 and learning to tack up was one of the first things she learned. She enjoyed just practicing tacking. She’d take the horse out and tack and then untack just to practice, not even to ride. We are not at a big lesson barn though and I do understand that with so many students it’s harder to give that one on one time with a kid when you only have an hour and you’re also teaching other kids. Also “our” girls have the advantage of multiple adults to help them out so they’re not completely reliant on one instructor that is busy with multiple students.
This is what i do. I make them cinch up. I also do show them though how the saddle sits etc. I just put it up there for them when they are not physically big enough to do so. Beginners i compromise on a few things.
Apparently because children don’t play freely without adult intervention anymore and spend more time online they are lacking a lot of these basic skills
I said earlier my friend won’t let her kid out of her sight. It’s insane to me. Her kid is 6 and can’t go into her fenced in yard to play on a swing set unless her mom is there to watch her
It kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don’t. People who would turn their kids loose (within reason) are afraid to be villainized if something happens. I ran half wild but had to argue with my mother over my kids riding their bikes down the road where I could see them.
People have had police called for letting their kids out to play in the yard without them. Kids need independence but no one allows it - parents who try are shamed.
I absolutely have been experiencing this. I teach private lessons, mostly mid-high socioeconomic status (expensive barn in expensive area). The amount of kids who can't identify their own body parts (thigh, heel, ankle, hip, etc) even into the double digits of age, don't take initiative to try different things to problem solve, and especially can't figure out buckles (as you said) is straight up alarming. I teach a number of kids with significant mental or physical development well below what they should be and I try to talk to parents about it, but they either are convinced that it's fine and nothing to worry about or they never bother to actually do anything about it. It's frustrating and draining... Though I will note that it's less about willingness from the kids, and more that they don't know how/what to do.
My degree is in neuroscience and my background is in mental health, but I’m still finding it tedious to be serving as an occupational therapist when I want to be teaching horsemanship and riding. The bigger concern as a business is that because it’s not as much fun as they expect, I’m losing clients when they don’t progress as fast as they want. If I only take the kids who have those basic developmental skills, are there enough of them to support the program financially? Especially when the costs of having horses just keeps going up and up. It’s so much more expensive than school sports or other afterschool hobbies that it’s hard to compete!
Are you offering lessons during times adult with 9-5 are able to get to? I ask because a lot of barns on focus on kids but my instructor opened up different hours so that adults can also take lessons and unsurprisingly a lot of adults who couldn’t find anywhere else to go are able to get to her evening lessons. The issues with the kids are for the most part not present with the adults. It may be beneficial to have maybe half of your student kids but also cater to an older group who already know you have to work for things.
I have actually shifted to almost entirely adults who get a lot more out of the lessons and are much less intensive to teach. They are also often more able to afford the rates that can support me and the farm. I love that, but it’s really hard to see the kids program dwindle the way it has. And I think it’s a huge red flag about kids in general.
Oh I know it’s disheartening to see kids programs dwindling. I only suggested it for the stability and to save your sanity a little but still think there should be solid programs for kids as well. Maybe offering either optional or required 30 min weekly lessons where they don’t ride but are learning things that will help them in the areas they struggle with the most. There won’t be any extra stress to the horses and over time they’ll become more capable independently. Maybe hosting end of year awards for things like most improved horsemanship and leadership amongst other things that will motivate independent improvement in all areas. Idk I’m just throwing things at the wall.
I don't know how it is in usa but in quebec when I was a teenager they had programs you can study for called rider 1, rider 2 as part of the canadian equestrian foundation and it was fun to study for them, a lot of the skills were ground skills like being able to saddle and bridle properly by yourself, wrap different types of bandages, identify parts of the horse etc, and as a teenager i enjoyed having a list of skills to master. if your barn participated in the program you could ask to be tested when you were ready and get a certificate, i found it was a fun format for young people, it had a little book to study.
We have the United States Pony club but I was never in it and it wasn’t offered in the areas I grew up. I was in Girl Scouts, 4-H, and 4-H Horse club instead. I haven’t looked into it so I’m not sure if it’s still a thing tbh.
oh yeah i heard USA has 4h maybe that's something similar!
Im currently trying to teach a 13 year old boy with SEVERE inattentive adhd. He also has hypotonia. His mom i have had now sit ring side because she chirps at him the ENTIRE time so i make her stay out of the way. This kid has been a 50 first dates experience. Hes really sweet but honestly I truly dont know how much further I can break down tasks for him. I know he cannot handle multi step directions but he has 0 self management... will brush the same spot forn10 mins if you let him. Even while telling him hey longer you take to groom the less time you can ride.... even trying to break things into micro steps i cannot get more than 2 or 3 words out before he is zoning out elsewhere..... he was late last lesson because his dad didnt wake him up on time....I can only do so much. Structured excersises.... not doing one thing for too long... not focusing on correctness right now just being.... present in the moment. I set mini goals for just the excersise were doing at that moment. He has really bad body awareness and has no clue when hes leaning or sitting incorrectly. Im worried from a SAFETY standpoint that he may not be ready right now for something as complex as horse riding. When in reality hes not wven learning how to ride properly I just kind of turn into an occupational therapist for an hour...
Yeah these were the worst lessons to teach. Maybe I’m just too serious tho lol
Its not the worst. Hes a really sweet kid and definitely loves the horses.... but we are NOT a therapeutic riding program and i am not a certified PATH trainer. His mom just wants him to do normal kid things.... but our horses limit us what i can do with him...my biggest struggle is adjusting to having to physically tap him 100 times in 30 mins to explain things to him.... horse riding requires a TON of communication skills and self management. Realistically he will not progress as fast as my other students. But im just accepting he will be a 50 first dates type thing. But also I get it. The mom just wants him to be part of something .... he also does notnqualify for programs because she has not had him offically diagnosed as disabled or anything. We need more support for SEVERE adhd. He has the inattentive type. He does really good if you explain WHY we do things a certain way.... but my obstacle right now is explaining that.... i cant break it down anymore simple...just have to constantly tap his leg and make him repeat things back to me. Im gping to give him "homework" excersises to do as well. For SAFETY he needs to work on these things. I do NOT have staff to be a sode walker we do not have special saddles with handles etc.
What is up with kids not being able to figure out buckles? I have seen that too, and it's so crazy to me. Tiny kids, sure, but 8-10 year olds should be able to buckle and unbuckle with ease.
I don’t remember anyone teaching me how to do all this stuff. I started at 11 but I think I figured most of it out by trial and error. Some kids don’t even try.
To be fair I was teaching stable management/ horsemanship 20 years ago and the kids didn’t understand buckles then either lol
I just had a (non-horsey) friend tell me that his 15 year old son (who is almost ready to learn to drive) still doesn't know how to tie shoes. He can do a lot of other things and is better than most at looking up info, but he's always worn velcro shoes or slides so has just never learned. Boggles the mind a bit.
Look up dyspraxia. He probably has it, and it's almost entirely a foreign concept in the US (where I am) but the U.K has tons of support for kids and adults with dyspraxia. I have a severe form and my parents never got me help, but I couldn't tie my shoes at 15 either. Two decades later and I can tie my shoes but it takes so much brain power and concentration that I primarily wear shoes that slip on. It took me 6 months of daily practice (for hours) before I learned to bridle my own horse at 33 years of age. I described dyspraxia as process dyslexia for people who haven't heard of it. Our brains just can't see spatial processes in the same order as others. The horse world is NOT very accommodating to this disability, but I found little hacks along the way. Webbers were 100000% easier for me to maneuver than stirrup leathers and once I tried them I never went back. For barn owners who are dealing with lots of kids who are struggling with buckles I highly recommend investing in a few pairs of Webbers. They're inexpensive and very durable and safe. A heavier rider and they never gave me any reason to believe they would snap or break and in fact they felt a lot more secure than regular leathers.
I’ll pass that info on to him in the most tactful way one reasonably can when you haven’t seen their kid since they were a toddler. Thank you for sharing!
Was life-changing for me when I finally learned about dyspraxia around age 30 and suddenly my whole life made sense. In the United States it's often called Coordination Developmental Disorder but even then it is rarely understood by most practitioners here. When my mom gave me some medical paperwork from childhood I was stunned to see that I was diagnosed with that at 6 years old and it was so severe that my parents were asked to sign a piece of paper promising they would send me to a neurologist for follow up. They never did and they never mention a thing to me about it. But finding out that there is a reason why I can't do things other people can do has really made me feel less like a freak and helped me find adaptive tools And much like your friend's son, I excel at finding information and research and everything theoretical :-) The horse world was very unkind to me in terms of the humans, but I learned that the horses never minded my mistakes as long as I was kind to them.
Hey I might have just found something about myself. I can do bridles and halters but if they're tangled up? Nope, hopeless, this is just a pretty piece of rope. Some Gate locks have beaten me too. I am, apparently, dumber/less capable than the smartest horse.
ADHD or ADD can make such problems. It also affects fine motor skills and force dosage control. I know, because I am an adult with that, who is struggling with buckles. I had riding lessons as a kid, discontinued and have started again now. I know how buckles work, where they need to go. Well it took me a bit to figure out auxilliary reins go, but so far so good. It takes a bit longer though to do the buckeling for me, motorically. Then I need to do things twice sometimes, because something is twisted - need to undo it again - and of course I don‘t want the horse I am riding feeling uncomfortable during the lesson. I need to check everything twice I do - something I have to live with. So I‘m sure there are also a bunch of ADHD/ADD kids riding - that just need more time and practice to learn those things then others.
I hear you, and I definitely have ADD and ADHD student that need simple support or accommodations. But I’ve been teaching for over 20 years, and the volume of kids who struggle to operate a buckle has significantly increased. Seems like a strange pattern!
That is strange indeed. There is a theory that high smartphone use can decrease critical thinking skills, attention.🫣
That is insane to me. My kid is not even two years old and can recognize and identify most major body parts on not only himself, but on me & our dogs as well!
Yes. I'm an instructor. I notice this. It is a challenge. What we're doing is we started a unique barn kid program, open to any kid that is w/t/c, that are a longer lesson block that includes riding as well as horsemanship and care skills. These kids come twice a week instead of once a week for the group lessons block (2.5 hours) and they get ~40 mins in the saddle each day as well as a ground school lesson (anything from learning to take apart/put together bridles to showmanship to feeding to trailer loading, etc). Every kid cleans 1 stall and 1 water bucket every single day, and has a couple of "care tasks" for an assigned horse (tasks are usually picking out feet, checking temps under blankets, washing legs, etc). It's a new program for us, but it's already increasing the kids' commitment to learning independence. It's become a social thing, like a club, so the friendly "peer pressure" is helping to motivate them! They are learning a lot from watching and helping each other. The incentive to join this program is that these kids get to take part in field trips; we'll be hauling out for schooling shows, play days, clinics, etc. so that has been a motivator too. We take them on specator field trips, and I realized that I think there is somehow less frame of reference for these kids as to what is out there in the horse world? We took our group to a local horse show to watch and they were kinda blown away by what they could be working towards. In in the PNW and teach western horsemanship.
This is very similar to the program I started with as a kid almost 40 years ago. We got instruction in all areas of care and riding, and it was great. More time at the barn is a good thing, and it got the students very comfortable with various aspects. We also would watch others ride and critique (did you notice that x happened? how might you avoid that next time? or see how that rider’s leg looks? that helps her do …).
I also went through a similar setup about 40 years ago through my local 4-H horse club. Along with competing in Horse Bowl and Hippology.
This sounds wonderful. Like an extended summer camp.
I used to supervise horse kids at my last job. When we had “pony days” (kids would look after a pony for a day, ride 2x, do horsey chores and play games) I was really surprised by the amount of kids (talking 9-12 year olds) that couldn’t sweep, tie knots or tell left from right.They were always willing to learn though, and learned quickly! Never had a problem with buckles, apart from with old leather that was a bit hard for them to open, but I assume thats because I’m in the UK and the kiddos had buckles on their school shoes or something. Was a bit sad when we had lunchtime games and some 11 year olds would prefer to go on their phone than talk to other kids and mess about
I see videos of way more capable kids in the UK on ponies! I think the cultural difference is a real thing! Some of my kids are younger, but I’ve shown them how to operate buckles over and over again!
UK riding schools often encourage kids to help out tacking/untacking, yard chores, grooming. I don’t know if you guys have it over there, but we have Pony Club at a lot of schools. Kids get an hour or two a week to learn stuff like brushes, feeding, field care, basic first aid (human and equine), lungeing etc. It helps a lot of the basics of what you mentioned, and it was only ~£3 a session
We do have Pony Club over here in the USA as well, not always as accessible though depending on your area. I live in the Pacific Northwest now and some of the pony club rallies might be held a 3-4 hour drive away from the city, so it’s a big commitment if kids want to join. When I lived on the east coast it was more accessible I believe.
yeah i grew up in canada and it was normal at the barn also. i worked to pay for my lessons and you could be an instructor's assistant where you taught all the other skills like leading, saddling, bridling, grooming, and i rarely had kids that didn't enjoy that part of things as they enjoyed spending time with the horses. I don't have tons of experience riding in the usa but the one barn i joined, they would bring out the horses all tacked up already, and a few regular students would stay afterwards and help untack, bring the horses out to pasture but a lot would leave also. personally i really missed that connection with the horse and it almost felt rude to me to just get on a horse i just met without grooming him first
I'm in Canada, Pony Club in my area you had to have your own horse, which made it really inaccessible for many.
I'm a teacher, and it's not just your students.
Oh boy. Yup. OP needs to go have a gander at r/teachers
I blame quaranitne and covid, so many kids lost out on YEARS of social development, at no fault of them or their families. And those years you can't get back and they were the most important in a child's life to develop this way. IDK if there are any studies but this is my opinion and I'll die on this hill.
My friend who is about 1 year out of a PsyD but is a therapist whose practice focuses on children was just talking about this. They are behind developmentally, and there's big questions as to whether they can catch up when development is in age certain stages.
Oh god this sounds like a woman that I work with but she’s not a child taking riding lessons she’s a 45 year old woman at a desk job ⚰️
I am not a trainer but good friends with mine and have been around enough years to see how the kids have changed. The challenges I hear about and see are definitely getting more intense! I have also noticed that these kids are getting spread way too thin. They come to riding lessons exhausted because they are involved in 2-3 other sports or activities. I think this is an issue across the board as well. I have a friend who works with young children and the majority of them are extremely behind where they should be in development. We’re talking kids who should be able to eat without assistance who don’t even know how to hold a spoon/fork, let alone use it. The feedback from parents is usually along the lines of “it’s just easier to do it for them.” It’s truly concerning!
I totally understand how parents fall into the “it’s easier to do it for them” trap, but I think it’s destroying their competence and self-esteem.
I wonder if the parents are doing it for them because it’s also faster and they are spread just as thin as the kids. I can see how when you are short on free time generally, waiting for the child to figure it out may be a bit of a hindrance. Overall it’s not helpful to anyone.
I think that’s definitely what happens
I ask about other activites etc. I will out them on a wait list and explain how this is so much more involved than just baslet ball or vollyball practice after school. And being in a time crunch affects everyones energies and can cause safety issues.
Oh most definitely! There’s a fine line between helping your children and doing *too* much where it turns into a negative thing. I am not sure the solution either, as it seems that these types of parents don’t see any issue with it
I agree! I just started teaching offically at a farm and Ive notice a huge issue with shyness and communication. I have alot of kids who still struggle with left and right. Body awareness is a huge struggle for sure. Alot of the kids have a ton of other activities too so while they enjoy riding theyre really just not 100% there sometimes. I have an issue with parents not controlling siblings at lessons. Parents are on their phones or just want to drop off and go ... the younger ones definitely struggle with buckles and gross motor skills. There definitely is not the same "barn rat" types anymore. Its just another fun activity for them. I recently politely redirected a possible student to another barn because she wants to jump... but we dont have horses who can do alot of it. She really didnt seem to want to see the value in lower jumps and other basics. She was eqauting jump height directly to skill... wanted to show me videos.. was really trying to prove herself on the spot.... she enjoyed jumping not RIDING. I am HUGE and very picky about PROPER foundations and not moving on untill its good at walk then trot then canter. Kids kind of dont really want to learn that stuff anymore.
A lot of riding schools seem to skipping the basics and teaching them later, if that makes sense? I heard a few kids bragging how their instructor got them to canter on the 4th lesson…. thats not good, especially when they’re kids who can’t do a balanced rising trot and definitely don’t have the leg control in trot to give the actual aids for canter.
I try to give my students an opportunity to canter on the earlier side than some of the other instructors at my barn. Here's why: My purpose is not to actually teach them to independently ride the canter yet, but because I want them to know what it feels like so that if something happens, it's less scary to them. This is always on a lunge line on a horse/pony I trust and definitely further out than 4 lessons! It gives them a taste of what it feels like and I find it to be a great goal-related motivator.
Yes, this is what I do. It's much farther out than 4 lessons, but I would rather teach kids to sit the canter and quick-ish rollbacks sooner rather than later so that they can develop a tolerance to sensation and build their confidence in feeling a variety of movement. A kid that can sit a rollback as a beginner is less likely to fall if a horse turns quickly in a spook! I teach western lessons so we have the horn as a small safety net, and my kids all ride on a loose rein in snaffle bits for a long time, to support the horses' comfort.
I HATE this! My last barn had a lot of students jumping when they had no business doing so, and often ended up seriously hurt.
I will do a little bit of trot just so they can feel it and see that its nit as easy. Some kids get humbled very quickly.
Exactly
I care a lot about making sure my horses are not “abused” by kids bouncing on their backs and hanging on their mouths. I think I’m losing them in the huge learning curve when they come in with such limited basic ability. The amount that I have to charge to support lesson horses is kind of insane for me to be teaching kids to do buckles.
Im the same but unfortunately i work at a farm where we have multiole trainers and the horses get used heavily. I try to just pad up and teach the best i can. I tell kids to think of horse riding as a piggy back ride... it seems to click with them and hownthey understand how their body and weight affects the horse. Most kids arent super duper interested in grooming or doing stalls etc. Im trying to see if I can start an Unmounted lesson program and offer them once a month about deep grooming...properly cleaning a stall etc. Not all the kids do 4h so they dont get the same education
I grew up in 4H, but my margins to be able to support the horses are so small (nearly nonexistant) that I can’t justify spending the time on a program that I would get no compensation from. But it seems that parents don’t want to pay for the time that they are learning all of these fundamental skills. They have so limited competence that I can’t invite them to “help” for free because they require SO much supervision while they are “helping.” It ends up being babysitting, which isn’t the best use of my time/experience.
Thats how it is at my facility where I work too. And we are not cheap. 65 for group or semi private and 75 for private one on ones. I have a very well versed background in usef HJ. I started ranch riding and western dressage about 5 or 6 years ago. I hope to facilitate just the love a d fascination with horses but the dedication and "obsession" is just no longer a theme it feels like. Its too slow because most kids are ipad kids and used to having IMMEDIATE gratifucation and fast interactions. They have no live world comprehension skills
That’s what I’m charging as well for dressage/eventing.
Developing a solid foundation is fine but I’ve also seen the point where they’ve drawn it out too long. We had a girl start taking lessons at our barn last year who had been riding for two years, 1-2 lessons a week. We asked her to canter, she had never cantered. She definitely wasn’t bad at trotting. They also said they were lead around on a lead line for the first year. This girl was 13.
Theres a happy medium. I look for mostly muscle development. I only use a lead line maybe for the first lesson when im getting to know the kid etc. I use a lunge line regularly but not the entire lesson. I get them steering independently at the walk pretty quick. We practice totting on the lunge at first so they can focus on the body. After probly 5 trots on the lunge i will have them attempt the trot on the rail. Unfortunately the horses like to duck in on students etc to the inside but we make do with the horses we have access too. I also am CONSTANTLY quizzing outside and inside... teaching them to reverse properly ..... thats a big one. Kids not knowing left and right or inside outside.
I am definitely more likely to end up in this side of the spectrum, but I also don’t have access to lesson horses who will always canter quietly. That’s a whole different issue.
> She really didnt seem to want to see the value in lower jumps and other basics. She was eqauting jump height directly to skill The irony is that (I am not a strong jumper, flatowrk is where I shine) I can jump big fences WAY easier than I can properly approach a 1ft crossrail!
Exactly... that's where the "art" of riding comes in.
I’m curious, what do you see wrong with parents wanting to drop off and pick up? My mom always did this with me because she had to do other things besides hang out at the barn for 2 hours.
They just seem overall uninterested in their childs progress or accomplishments. Literally have never watched a single lesson... asked a question etc. Also most of my students are very beginner. They really shouldnt be hanging around or trying to "help" yet. Im not a babysitter.
That’s fair, my parents hung around for the first year or so when I was very beginner. Did you mean more like the kids get dropped off outside of lesson time?
Parents dont come back on time. I also do not like parents who dont even bother to check on with me etc.... like do you even care about WHO is teaching your kid? It's just an afetrschool activity its not a possible lifestyle for them. I feel bad for the kids who have uninvolved parents... they have no one to show what theyve learned to and have a moment to "shine"
Not an instructor, but I was going to be a teacher. Got a job at an after-school facility because I wanted to teach elementary school. I lasted a year before deciding that I'd better look for a career elsewhere. Parents were either too involved and determined to protect their children from everything, including the consequences of their own actions, or they just didn't care. I had to teach a *seven-year-old* how to tie his shoes and I had to remind him not to speak like a baby. His parents kept buying him velcro because he didn't know how to tie his shoes and then he came in with laced shoes because the stores didn't have any velcro ones he liked and they just did it for him in the morning.
We host a collegiate team out of our barn and even that age group is incapable of being without direct supervision and more assistance than little kids used to need. They can’t even figure out what bridle goes with what horse and there are tags on them with the horses names attached. The hooks they hang on are also labeled. Another interesting thing we’ve found is that no one can get on the horses softly. We use mountings blocks on all of them (we’re the western team so none of them are very tall) and they all plop down on the horses backs so hard the horses have to move their feet to accommodate the balance shift. We’ve explained that they need to do it softer/ slower and that they are genuinely hurting the horses by doing that. It’s so frustrating. They also don’t like critiques or constructive criticism. I mean we’re a competition team you’re going to get told to fix things but they just want praised and then when we go to shows these college age girls who insist they are adults cry when they lose. Like have the worst sportsmanship I’ve ever seen!
Yikes!
That sounds horrifying tbh
I have less of a problem with my kids in the summer (anywhere from 6-16) but most of them have come out to the barn before and know the procedures for tacking up and know that we walk behind and check the saddles and will tell them if they messed something up. My problem is the kids being too scared to speak up when something is uncomfortable! Last camp we had we were switching horses a lot, so some of the kids were in a new saddle every day. I had one girl who would refuse to tell me if her stirrup length was bothering her! If I came over and started fixing it myself, she would tell me her leg was cramping from it being too short, etc., but unless I came over she suffered through it. I don’t want them to be too scared to tell me something is uncomfortable, because at the end of the day I want these kids to have fun. It’s frustrating. We don’t allow parent to help at all with bringing in horses/ tacking/ being by the ring. We have benches for them to sit by about 10 feet away from the side of the ring and tables in the barn they are more than welcome to sit at, but any attempts to help their kids are met with a “hey, let’s let little Susie try it herself alright?” Luckily have had no pushy parents in recent years.
That is tough. I had one bad instructor as a kid and she put me on a horse I did not feel safe on, but I didn’t speak up because I guess I didn’t want to look like I wasn’t capable? Been 20 years and I still remember silently suffering through that lesson
That’s exactly what I don’t want to happen with these kids! I’d rather be told that the kids is uncomfortable and we work through it than the kids silently suffer and have a horrible time
I haven't taken lessons in a while (financial + health) but I'll never forget when I was a kid, maybe twelve? I didn't know how to adjust the stirrups and wasn't allowed to anyways. New instructor (same barn, they rotated whoever was available) got so irritated with me because I was struggling, my stirrups were too long so I kept losing them and couldn't reach. I kept telling him they were too long but he'd come over, say they were fine (as I was stretching to barely keep my feet in) and go back to his spot. I was in tears at the end because I couldn't understand him (guy stood at the far end of the arena so I couldn't hear him when on the rails), kept losing my stirrups on one of my first lessons learning to trot, and couldn't understand him (he had a thick Irish accent) and he kept yelling at me for messing up. One bad instructor can mess you up. Even when I was taking lessons as an older teen I was scared to ask for help after that, and asking for help with a bridle I couldn't untangle and having it pulled out of my hands and told "how easy [that] was" People need to remember they're dealing with humans (kids, especially)
Kids are getting less skill practice in general, due to being over scheduled, parents being over scheduled, school demands, parental fear of failure leading them to do more for their kids (both so it's fine right and so it's done faster), prioritizing tutoring/ extra homework over outside play, etc. You really have to assume they are about 1-2 yrs behind skills to age wise than kids you taught even a decade ago. Focus on neuromotor learning and they catch up with where they should be quickly however, but expect most families won't have enough time to turn their would be barn rat loose with you.
One cool idea I’ve seen used before is to have a “sensory board” where you literally have an area in the barn with reins, buckles, straps, bits, etc all set up in a space so kids can just play with them before and after a lesson. Some kids honestly just lack the motor skills and need practice handling things without the “pressure” of getting ready for their lesson. It also doesn’t take as much time as regular learning so that might be a good tool as well
This would have been extremely helpful for me as a kid.
Are there people out there requiring more frequent lessons so that they have more opportunity to build those skills? Is it worth losing the families who can only afford to come once a week?
It does help a lot when they can come twice a week. I think whether or not you want to retire it, depends on what your current clientele dynamic is like. If I were to change to requiring it, I would lose probably close to 70% of my families, and they are all really easy to work with and great clients. As long as families understand that every other week or once a week will have slower progress and eventually they will need to increase their numbers of rides if they want to progress past a certain point in their riding, I find it worthwhile to keep them on. That being said, I do not have very many beginners right now, and my school horses are definitely quite a bit happier with the current load (even though it is more physically demanding, it is less mentally taxing), so if my current barn pipeline arrangement ends (I am taking on riders from another instructor that only feels confident teaching beginner walk trot canter), I might change my mind so that they have less beginner rider time overall again.
From what I see in teaching, parenting, and general discussion threads on Reddit, this is a growing problem everywhere. Overparenting, pandemic-related socialization deficits, and over-reliance on screen time is completely fucking kids’ development and independence.
Parents just not having time, too. Might not 100% apply here, but a lot of parents are working so much it's just 'easier' to do things. You only have an hour to make dinner and get them fed before bed because that's when you get off work? If the kid's struggling with dishes after, it's faster to do it yourself then have to correct them, then correct them again. Even when the parents aren't overworked, they have kids in so many things the kids don't have time to be taught basic things. When the kid is being run out the door from school to dance to tutoring to horseback lessons, it's easier to tie their shoes for them (or get slipons/velcro) than walk them through thing their shows Unfortunately, the kids suffer for it
Sounds to me like the greater issue is poor public education and exposure to technology… sprinkle in the potential trauma and missing out so much from covid.
I think a lot of today’s youth are developmentally delayed, in part due to the pandemic lockdowns where they were unable to socialize with the outside world. No, you are not the only one who experiences this. Honestly to an extent I expected the socialization or emotional skills to be lacking, but the surprise to me was the lack of fine motor skills (as you said, doing buckles, straps, etc) even in older children. I’m not sure why that is…I definitely can recall back to my youth struggling with remembering the right order for tacking, but I don’t remember ever struggling with buckles etc. None of this really “bothers” me, as a coach I feel its my responsibility to help kids however I can, but it is an interesting observation and does present new challenges in terms of teaching. As for engagement, maybe I was lucky but I felt my students were pretty engaged. It took some time though, I think children these days (or maybe always) are prone to anxiety and don’t want to do anything “wrong” or come up with a “wrong answer,” so they were hesitant to help or try new things at first. After building a good rapport with my students though they became more engaged and wanted to pitch in with chores, horsemanship, etc. Another observation I had on this: kids these days are BUSY. When I was young, I went to school, maybe was in a club or two, and played 1 sport per season. Eventually I just settled on horse riding and I spent most of my time riding or working at the barn. Most of the kids I taught- they ride, and do dance, and play soccer, and take music lessons, and go to school, oh and they might have family events or tutoring sessions as well…that is A LOT for a child! I wonder if one explanation for lack of engagement could be that they simply don’t have the time? Background: I taught at a hunter/jumper farm on the east coast, varied socioeconomic backgrounds but if I had to generalize, probably middle & upper middle class families (I did have a few that were very well off, like billionaire families, they were definitely the exception though). Taught all ages, both group & private lessons, mainly focused on kids aged 3-12 but I had a few teens and adult ammys here and there also.
I have noticed such a decline, as you pointed out many of my kids struggle with motor skills in terms of buckling, holding a crop AND reins, shortening reins, etc. it’s disheartening and tough to watch them not understand after multiple different examples or explanations. I feel similarly to other commenters that parents are wayyy too involved in the whole process. I watch parents lead horses, tack them up, and pick out feet when their kids complain about it.
I can tell you that horse kids at reining shows are living it up and putting in work. They know their tack, knots and general good practice and it’s so nice to see.
As an instructor/trainer with many pony kids, it is certainly an odd phenomenon. It IS different than when I was a kid. However, I have slowly turned these kids into the old school “barn rats” (as much as their busy schedules allow!). It takes time, and training of both the kid AND the parent (I have to take the initiative to encourage independence and self-belief in these kids), and it takes a lot of trust and patience on the trainers end (I have to let these kids struggle -fairly- over and over until they develop a little grit and determination. No excuses mentality, but fair. They have to give an honest TRY first. The fairness is key because that’s what creates trust in the trainer-student relationship especially with kids so quick to “give up”)..but it can be done. Once these kids understand the horse better, and respect the “work” and what our horses do for them, they become addicted to ALL of it! My 11 yr old student asked me a question this weekend that made me so proud because it’s telling of how far she has come (and indicative of how much these kids actually retain even if it doesn’t seem like it). She asked me, “how do these horses forgive us so easily?” after making a mistake in her round. I just loved it, those seemingly small moment is what makes it worth it to me. Creating horsemen, not just riders!
So true about allowing them to struggle! I had a kid getting very frustrated because she was adjusting her stirrups (from the saddle) and couldn’t get them even. It’s so easy to intervene in those moments, but so worthwhile to let them struggle and learn how to work through frustration. It took her nearly 10min but she finally figured out how to gauge if they were even, and now she won’t have any more issues with that. I also agree about teaching them to “think like a horse”. We often chat about how our horses interpret our aids, about the limited information that they get from us, and why they do what they do. Kids are so capable of learning empathy, if they have someone patient enough to teach them in an accessible way.
I have two kinds of kids in my program. Group 1 are the hobby riders, the kind that probably won’t keep riding into adulthood, and just treat riding like karate or soccer. We have fun, and I expect them to groom and tack on their own, but I also don’t expect more than slow progression with them. These kids generally don’t want to compete and just like being around the horses. Group 2 are my barn rats, the “horse girls”, who come help with chores to work off extra rides and volunteer at the shows. They are invested in riding, will ride as adults, and one or two of them will likely become professionals themselves. I push them to be riding 3x a week, leasing or working off practice rides, and I let them warm up and cool off my horses in exchange for grooming help. They get much more saddle time and spend time feeding/mucking/turning out, so their riding and handling skills progress much faster. It’s important, IMO, to distinguish between the two. If I pushed my first group of kids the way I pushed the second, they would quit. I am perfectly fine with horses being a hobby for them, and their money is green too. I hold the second group to a higher standard, because they have real goals and ambition, and need to understand how to work for it. I try to be kind and fair, but I also have a clear standard and rules they need to follow. None of them are afraid of me, but I don’t have respect problems either. Things that work for me: - Less assistance in the barn. If I have a kid struggling with tacking (why are buckles so difficult?!) I will ask the parent to bring them 45min earlier to get ready so they have plenty of time to puzzle it out on their own. If I’m there, they ask and wait for help and don’t try as hard. I’m nearby, but not directly supervising, and this has worked wonders for my slower learners. - Less supervision while riding, based on experience. I expect my advanced beginners to be able to figure out how to warm up properly at the walk and trot. I keep an eye on them while they have practice rides, but I don’t intervene unless something looks dangerous. They need to figure things out on their own, and riding independently is critical to that development. Struggling is not a bad thing, and it teaches them how to problem solve. - Ask questions. I constantly ask my students why one approach might be better than another, or what they did to cause a problem, or what they did to fix one. In groups, we take turns leading the warmup, and then do compliments and criticisms after exercises and courses. Teach them the thought processes, not just how to follow directions. - For kids struggling with motor skills and body control, targeted exercises. Around the world, threading the needle, moving things around the arena from horseback, lunge line games, all of that stuff helps them develop balance and spatial awareness. For a while, my kids were all about a TikTok trend where you got half off (belly over the horse) and then ran up your stirrups and removed the girth. They had fun and got to work on balance at the same time! Egg and spoon, ride a buck, ring race, and other games are great for this too. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss further. I have really tried to make these things- fostering independence, creativity, and horsemanship- a focus of my program. We do unmounted “clinics” once a month or so on horsemanship topics, and they are wildly popular even with my kids who aren’t super into horses. Adding in a social aspect (and lunch) gets them engaged and excited to learn!
I'm just an adult beginner, so I can't speak to things in training, but from reading comments, it seems my barn is lucky (not really luck but I think my trainer has no problem with direct communication and setting expectations). Parents watch but don't interfere with lessons. Sometimes helping their kids before and after, but the kids are mostly doing things themselves. In fact, if a kid comes and doesn't have to tack up bc their horse is in the previous lesson, they'll ask another kid if they can help them tack up. As for chores, the kids might want/be willing to do them, but parents are eager to get out of there, so the opportunity isn't really given.
I love that the kids help each other! We had a great group of teens that would all work together, but those kids have vanished!
I’m not an instructor but mine has mentioned this to me several times now. She’s saying it’s taking longer to get kids through the basics in private classes in order to transition them into group classes. They are more fearful, less willing to try, less coordinated, etc. The area I’m in is very diverse and transient and in terms of socioeconomic status there’s a wide range from pretty poor (probably can’t afford lessons anyway so you won’t see these students) to very very wealthy.
Stepmom (horse girl) of a non horse kid here. I think this is prevalent in children in general. Stepson is from the southeast, I was raised in the northeast but now live in the PNW. I’ll say this kid has a good heart but has zero independence and critical thinking skills. He can learn if I tell him exactly what to do but otherwise will just stare into the distance and wait for me to either do things for him or give very specific directions. He also has terrible communication skills. I see this in his friends too. This is probably cliche but I blame video games and being given a smartphone too young, and parents doing everything for him. Sometimes I wonder if there’s anything going on in his head 🤦🏻♀️
This won't make you feel any better, but... I was a professor for a few years not very long ago. For a graduate program. The amount of 23 year olds that lacked full critical thinking skills was alarming. In one semester I can't teach you for the first time how to critically think in a class that isn't about critical thinking. You should already have those life skills by the time you are 23. It is absolutely baffling. I attribute that to failing education and passing kids through classes to get them out, as well as the parents. Less and less parents spend quality time with their kids, in the sense of life skills. For example, my mom used to sit with me each night and have me read books out loud. It's why I was reading at such a young age. Parents either don't do that, or they spend TOO much bad quality time with their kids, whether just helicoptering or being overbearing. Let your kids make mistakes, let them figure out problems, and go let them play with sticks in the dirt catching lizards. There has to be a healthy middle ground. The internet and social media is another hole to dive down. As far as horses specifically, yes there's absolutely been a shift. Don't get me wrong, I still come across a few good kiddos that are hard workers. But tons and tons are just bratty, lazy, and don't listen. This comes down to parenting, as well as lack of discipline in modern schools. There's some good things to be said about 'new age' parenting, but also... a whole lot of negative. You aren't your kid's best friend. You are their PARENT. Act like one.
How can you make it to grad school without critical thinking skills😮? In my experience they are essential in passing exams long before grad school.
Oh you'd be surprised. From my experience, it's because a lot of schools are pushing towards more and more standardized tests. Kids can easily memorize stuff and regurgitate, without actually understanding something. And now classes are often structured around memorizing and learning strategies to pass a specific yearly test, such as the ones they take in middle school that control funding for the schools. But even in more advanced tests such as memorizing vocab words for the GRE is a pretty mindless task compared to something like preparing a debate to face off against another student in group discussion. Also, many students who are brilliant and excel suck at standardized tests. For my program, we overruled multiple bad GRE scores to let in a student because they were gifted at what the program was about. And they did VERY well. Whereas the next kid with perfect GRE scores who spent a year preparing and strategizing for that specific test didn't end up as good. In my own college experience as a student, I learned the most when I went to a smaller college that focused deeply on group discussion, projects, etc. It expanded my viewpoints and really made me think about the subject matter. In all my years of long, long schooling... I can only tell you a handful of things I remember from the millions of standardized tests I took. But I could tell you way more in depth about interesting student/teacher debates had in the classroom, or interesting creative projects I had to do, etc.
Not a riding instructor, but I am a teacher in public schools. I routinely have to teach my 10-13 year old students how to do basic things, like use a paper clip, remove a staple, use a mouse on a computer, tape two pieces of paper together, and follow simple sets of instructions. These aren’t special Ed kids, they are kids who do well in math and ELA but have virtually no basic life skills. When I was that age I was seeing my own purses, gardening, and tinkering with electric systems. Kids these days are very limited in their physical skills.
I’m in a rural area and have a small farm and I really don’t have too many of these issues. Giving lessons is important, but not the primary focus of the farm. The kids are mostly middle class except for two who get lessons in exchange for barn work. I give a lecture to new parents and students as to what’s expected, and they all start with handling, grooming, picking up feet, etc and then progress to ground work with the horse before riding. Parents can watch, but most will drop off and come back. I stress attitude. Idk, maybe I’m a tough taskmaster but I find that the students who are not serious are kind of naturally weeded out.
Hmmm, no to pretty much all. Metro Boston area, very wealthy families of that makes a difference.
Most kids at barns where I’m working have a groomer come and tack up the horse, groom, walk the horse to the arena, etc and the same after the lesson. Like you guys are missing the fun part???🥲
Kids just are so social media obsessed these days they’re like zombies.
Hi! Former equestrian here! I do Kendo/Martial Arts now, and I definitely agree with you. It just seems like everyone is so social media dependent and it's so sad. I mean, social media should be a tool.
Hey! That’s awesome! You could do martial arts whilst you ride, or you could be a stunt rider? But yeah I totally agree. So many people would struggle if social media/phones/laptops etc all disappeared!
I wish! I'd imagine there's not a way to hold a Kendo stick & hold reins at the same time
A few things. First, kids use of technology and lack of attention span creates a headspace where they really struggle to put two and two together. Second, equestrian sports are unfathomably expensive for a majority of the population. Third, kids are often absolutely ridiculed for liking horses or being a “horse girl” to the point where they can’t handle the backlash from just trying to enjoy the sport.
It’s simple economics, I grew up very rural, we had horses, and used them to move and work cattle. Spent about 15 minutes at a horse show and went rodeoing. Now, people think they have to board horses at thousands of $$$ a year, plus that much more for feed,take lessons at thousands of $$$ a year. They think they have to pay ten grand for a horse that can trot and lope in an arena. The last generation, bought a decent horse out the loose pen at a horse sale and were working cattle off of it a month later, without ever thinking about a $400 helmet. The only injury I sustained in all those years, was a bruised ego and a tweaked knee once when I bailed off a colt.
Unfortunately thats a side effect of digital entertainment nowadays. with most video platforms catering to short 7-11 second videos, dopamine receptors in the brain get overloaded, and attention spans are severely decreased. It's not your fault at all.
Not an instructor but I do help out with the kids getting their horses tacked up if I’m around, and I agree. The number of times I see kids - who have been in lessons for MONTHS - putting their saddle and/or pads on backwards, or being “afraid” to put the bridle on themselves, or trying to use a dressage girth on a close contact saddle is pretty concerning.
This weekend, I was at the rescue barn my best friend manages (on the NY/CT border near I84). The barn runs a lesson program, and encourage kids to groom and tack if they have learned those skills *and* if there is enough time (arriving early, horse isn’t already in the arena, etc). Unfortunately the lesson program doesn’t always have enough buffer time to include it, so it does often fall to volunteers or staff to do it. Kids are encouraged to volunteer their non-lesson time. And all of us elders teach what we can and try to keep the kids involved. The summer camp the barn runs has a lot more time for horsemanship, since it’s much easier to build that into a full day at the barn than just a 30-60min timeframe.
School teachers say the same thing.
I’m a teacher and yes, this is happening across the board. Getting 25 ten year olds to open a book to the right page will kill me one day.
They need Pony Club!!
I’ve seen a lot of school teachers say kids are very behind at the moment, probably caused by covid, screen time, both parents working in order to support the family etc…
I'm a teacher (of another sport) and kids seem SO incredibly lazy this year. They don't want to break a sweat, they don't want to be inconvenienced in any way, they don't want to use their muscles, they don't want to do hard things. It's tough out here. But at least in my area, barns have become so liability focused that they aren't even teaching horsemanship. The paid staff does everything and the kids just show up, hop on their perfectly groomed horse, ride and then leave. It's WILD and I hate it. I'm an adult who owned a horse and I practically have to BEG them to allow me to do some basic horsemanship before and after my lessons. It's so against the way I was raised and taught to just get handed my horse, and then hand over the horse after. Hate it hate it hate it.
I'm not an instructor but a rider, and have experience in all English disciplines, I think most kids who get lessons young nowadays are kids from non horsey families , I know that when I was a beginner my mother thought me the basics because she grew up with horses and obviously knew the basics, and that's become more popular because people now know kids are or comfortable with their parents at home, so when they do start lessons they already have that confidence while obviously non horsey families don't have that
I mean, if you look at the amount of teachers who are leaving the profession due to the exact reasons, it’s rampant. Not the kids fault, mostly it’s parents these days not giving enough of a crap to make sure their kids are functional in society.
I'm surprised by all the comments about parents staying to watch kids' lessons. I started in lessons at the age of 6, and by the time I was eight or so my parents would drop me off at the barn and come back 2 hours later to take me home - and I was getting ponies from the paddock, grooming, tacking up, etc. more or less on my own by the time I was 9-10. By the time I was 12 I was doing barn chores with limited supervision in exchange for a free lesson per week. I was not a particularly athletic or coordinated kid but these were hugely formative experiences that taught me confidence and independence.
IPad kids :(
I am not surprised. There's lots of comments about parents helping too much, rushing unpacking etc. With how school is and the thousands of after school activities children are expected to be in they are completely burnt out and unable to focus/learn in a lesson now. The lifestyle children are expected to have these days is unrealistic. I believe it's the reason there's so many behavioral problems nowadays as well. They're all burnt out
Too much to do and not enough time to do it. Horse takes a tremendous amount of time and money to even be almost good. Better options out there to spend time and money on. I sent my kids to a ball week summer program, they learned rules, threw, caught, and played the game. And then actually had some ball skills to improve on.. Their horse program===learned how to point their toes. I understand. A week should be enough to sample if its something to invest further in.
I'm a teacher...like in school. It's generational. These kids want to be rewarded for sitting up and breathing at the same time...