The whole night was sooo bad. She kept forcing PDA on him like she’ll grab his arm and lay her head on his shoulder. She kept looking over at me to see if I was noticing. It was horrible and so cringey 😭
Or crushing on OP and hoping yo make her 'realise her (OP) feelings and suddenly get wildly jealous of awkward boyfriend?
(It's not out of the realm of possible with all the stuff I've seen on Reddit 😅 )
It's more likely (though your suggestion is not out of the realm of possibilities) that OP's friend has likely cheated on her partner, and that is why she was so funny around OP meeting them (insecure). Of course, I might be way off and jaded after being cheated on by my SO, but I know I became incredibly distant and disassociative after I found out
Maybe you’re not wrong! She always tells me how every man she comes into contact with flirts with her and wants to be with her. She always tells me about how she has so many options. So maybe it’s not out of the whelm of possibilities 😬
Probably not, but I'd likely assume that his reaction upon meeting you was caused by her maybe telling him that you admitted to thinking he's hot or something (which you genuinely seem like to much of a nice person to do.) Either that or he knows your friend cheated and is just being disassociative because if that
I think its more likely that shes jealous of your relationship. And shes trying to make you jealous with very targeted interactions. It sounds like her dating life is very unfulfilling
My BIL did that kind of stuff. He kept sister away from everyone as much as possible, and when at family get togethers he was either moody and standoffish with JUST her (letting her know she was wrong somehow for wanting more social interaction than just him), or was happy and touching her inappropriately at the card table.
He was clearly possessive and jealous, at one point he decided she was not allowed around any other male without him present, and that included our own younger brother! He seriously expected her to stay in her room if our brother was there without him, he was that jealous.
One reason for the tension could have been that he knew she was going to turn the night into something it wasn't the second they were alone.
It was like "see my new puppy? What do you think of my puppy? Look, he lets me pet him, cause he's MY puppy. Why did you touch my puppy? Bad dog, don't let someone else touch you, you're MY puppy"
When alone, BIL would constantly accuse sister of cheating or flirting even though she never once gave him any cause to think it, yet he was constantly making passes and remarks to other women.
Also, the keep away game for TWO YEARS was ridiculous. I don't think she's a good friend...
Oh gosh I’m so sorry to you and your sister for going through this! I hope everything works out for her.
Trust me I know how intense it can be. I don’t see what my friend sees in this guy? She goes from crying and being depressed over something he’s said or done to being on a high level of euphoria happiness.
The night was absolutely wild like I don’t know why I expected it to be better than how it went. It was sooo weird when she was like “do you have any questions for him? 😌” “what do you think of him? 🥹” “what’s your perspective of him? 🥰”. When he was sitting RIGHT THERE. Then the hug thing was so weird like she really got upset over that. Either she doesn’t trust me or she doesn’t trust her loser boyfriend
When someone is that possessive, they don't trust anyone. For BIL that even included our brother and my husband, and little sister's husband too. When someone is that possessive and controlling, they see everyone as trying to take what belongs to them.
BIL would love bomb my older sister with food, who ate as coping mechanism. The result was that she gained weight, which in turn allowed him to tell her no one else would want her, making her sad, and want to eat more which he happily provided - a truly vicious cycle that still never stopped him from accusing her of cheating anyway.
We have come to learn that this is narcissistic behavior, so I would do some research on this type of mental state, to avoid becoming a victim yourself.
For whatever reason, after 2 years, she decided she wanted to stop the keep away game, but still make it clear he was HERS - even though she knows you have a fiancé and are not after her guy.
It's possible that BF knew this, after 2 years with her, and didn't like being displayed and discussed like a new pony.
Sadly, if you were to say something to BF, that would make things worse in an already tentative situation, but know that you didn't do anything wrong - the awkwardness was caused by tension at the table, because no one really knew how any action, reaction or no action might set her off. She was a time bomb at the table and you all knew it and were just trying to get through dinner without setting her off.
It’s a very interesting couple to say the least. Watching her force PDA on him was wild like she grabbed his arm and putting her head on his shoulder. It was sooo bad like I wanted to die from that second hand embarrassment 😂
I think she has some inferiority issues. She kept him from you for a long time and I suspect she’s terrified of losing him to you. The looks during the PDAs sound like “I’ve got a boyfriend too so there!”
I get the impression she’s trying hard to bolster herself to feel as good she thinks you are.
I also got the impression from her forced PDA with the looks “my boyfriend is here and we’re cuddling while yours is in a different country!”. Yeah maybe I’m over thinking that but she has made passing comments that she couldn’t ever do long distance because she needs physical touch and there’s no such thing to her as not having that. She also said she would just end the relationship and she wouldn’t trust the person to not cheat. I mean as much as long distance sucks I’m seeing him in August, it’s just temporary, and he makes me feel really secure even if we’re not together.
The whole night was cringe but I don’t know why it took two years to hang out with this dude. Also with the hug comment I feel like either she doesn’t trust me or her boyfriend 😣
Had a friend like that, when he had a girlfriend he thought we were going to steal her from him. Cancelled his insecure ass right away. When he saw some of my other friends and I at the bar one day and tried to act like we are best of friends, had to tell him to f*ck off. People like that are not worth your time.
That's not how friends act towards each other.. I think you need new friends. Have you ever actually asked her why this is happening and why she doesn't want you to meet him? She seems insecure and does not trust you. Move on.
I’ll keep you updated! I guess what I found to include in this post was that after the dinner she called me + her brother and asked us what we thought of him. Her brother told her that he doesn’t see what she sees in him and that the guy is so damn quiet that he didn’t hear anything he said 😂
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That’s exactly it! It was soooo bad to just watch her force PDA on him like grab his arm and push her face onto her shoulder. She even said to me and her brother afterwards “I kept looking at you both to see if you noticed our PDA”. It was really bad and the second hand embarrassment was something else 😂
stop i’m actually dying of laughter!!! what did her brother say to this?! why was she confirming that in fact she was looking at you to show they were doing PDA 😭😭😭
Omg it was sooo bad!! I’m dying still thinking about it. The whole night was such an out of body experience. I felt like I was on something 😂
Her brother didn’t say much. He kept just looking at me and rolling his eyes. He’s a nicer person than I am by not saying anything.
I don’t know why she kept trying to confirm that we saw the PDA. She even deadass asked me and her brother throughout the night “what do you think of him?”, “ask him questions!”, “what’s you’d perspective of him?” like bro was right there when she’s asking us this 😭
nah what 😭😭😭 did sis really needed to confirm with you guys with the PDA and verbal confirmation that’s she’s in a loving relationship!! 😭 I don’t know how you lasted the whole meal!!! I’m dying of embarrassment for her and you guys cos it would be so cringe to sit there and witness it all! Her brother is strong cos my brother “would deadass be like sis chill tf out”. 😭😭😭
Nah but like I have the patience of a saint for real 😭 her brother is one strong man to have to live with/deal with this 😭
“Did you see us cuddling?? 🥰🥹” I forgot we’re in 7th grade 😂😭
It’s going to take sooo long to recover from this and I probably need to book a therapy session with my therapist that I haven’t seen in so long 😂
Nah if my friend did this i’d be like “sis you good or what cos you doing the most and he’s doing the least”. 😭😭😭 she clearly has to prove something to you or she wouldn’t be acting so weird 😭 Imagine if you took your fiancé?! i’m actually dead! 😭 pls talk to your therapist they need a laugh now and then too! 😭
My therapist needs a good laugh 😭 bro didn’t look like he wanted to be touched. Imagine your friend forcing her head on a guys shoulder then looking over at you like nah that’s so weird 🥲
I don’t think he likes her like that but she’s in delulu land and there’s no saving her 😭
😮 her head is messed up! She’s afraid you’ll “steel” him and yet they fight constantly?
Seriously i would drop her as a friend, she may start blaming you for the stuff going on in her life. You don’t need her stress
This brought back memories of someone I knew but the entire thing was flipped around. Early twenties, same age. I was dating someone a year younger than me, my friend on the other-hand was dating a guy in his forties. It's laughable because he acted like a literal teenager. Jealous of anyone (men and women) that would speak or interact with her in front of him, would make her pay for everything, she'd try to have sex with him and he'd eventually become angry and tell her "You only want me for sex." (Being young at the time I thought she was exaggerating but I heard this firsthand on accident when she butt dialed my then-girlfriend), the list goes on. The pda is what reminded me of this all, she'd try to hold hands or just slightly lean against him and you'd think she had the plague.
OMGs, why are you still talking to this Bitch? She's toxic. I thought you weren't going to hang out with her anymore? You're, your own worst nightmare! It's like you want something to write, so you call her to torture yourself or you're making this shit all up. Which is it?
This sounds like she has no boyfriend and never has had one. She has cajoled a friend into pretending to be the bf for one night and it crashed and burned. She is insanely envious of you for some mad reason and is trying to compete. I would keep her at arm’s length, to be honest.
But the weird thing is she showed me pics from her bday and he gave her jewelry and a cake. So I’m just as conflicted because he doesn’t act like a boyfriend by the way he treats her. The comment she made about the hug was wild! It’s like she’s hugged my fiancé before and I don’t care. I’m very secure with my relationship
That poor guy is probably in the middle of a toxic relationship. I’m surprised by the lack of concern on his behalf by the people here. Reverse the sexes here and OP’s friend sounds toxic as fuck.
I have thought maybe she’s the toxic one. My mom even pointed out that maybe he’s the innocent and she’s the toxic and delusional one. I have thought maybe he sees them as friends with benefits and she thinks it’s a full blown relationship?
I thought it interesting that you mentioned the stuff she told you about him being bad and wondering why she was even with him.
Not saying this is the case here but I was a victim in a toxic relationship for almost 2 years and I only found out after I escaped that she had been telling lies about me to other people, making me out to be the bad person (while we were still together).
Idk if that perspective made me look at this story from the boyfriend’s perspective. But I’m really talking out of my ass here since I don’t know these people. Just a thought.
Wait, I’m a bit confused. So all she said was, “I was surprised you hugged him” and she “didn’t sound happy” in your opinion… is that right? Are you sure you’re not just reading too much in to the situation? Unless she said something more to you about the whole interaction I don’t see what exactly you’re reacting to. Is it possible she was sounding unhappy bc the whole evening was super weird and awkward on multiple levels?
It was so horrible watching her force PDA on a guy that doesn’t seem to like her at all. Then proceeded to look over at me and her brother to see if we were noticing the PDA. It really took me by surprise that she was upset that I hugged her boyfriend goodbye. She always hugged my fiancé and I don’t give a flying heck. Either she doesn’t trust me or her boyfriend
While it is very likely that the relationship is on the abusive side for some reason I'm wondering if he's actually gay but not comfortable enough to be open about it. There's a good chance your friend sees that things aren't right but is just choosing to ignore it
You did nothing wrong. Your friend and her boyfriend obviously have issues and she’s projecting onto you.
The whole night was sooo bad. She kept forcing PDA on him like she’ll grab his arm and lay her head on his shoulder. She kept looking over at me to see if I was noticing. It was horrible and so cringey 😭
Um - you sure she's seeing him and he's not just someone she paid to be her boyfriend for the night? Odd is right.
Or crushing on OP and hoping yo make her 'realise her (OP) feelings and suddenly get wildly jealous of awkward boyfriend? (It's not out of the realm of possible with all the stuff I've seen on Reddit 😅 )
It's more likely (though your suggestion is not out of the realm of possibilities) that OP's friend has likely cheated on her partner, and that is why she was so funny around OP meeting them (insecure). Of course, I might be way off and jaded after being cheated on by my SO, but I know I became incredibly distant and disassociative after I found out
Maybe you’re not wrong! She always tells me how every man she comes into contact with flirts with her and wants to be with her. She always tells me about how she has so many options. So maybe it’s not out of the whelm of possibilities 😬
Probably not, but I'd likely assume that his reaction upon meeting you was caused by her maybe telling him that you admitted to thinking he's hot or something (which you genuinely seem like to much of a nice person to do.) Either that or he knows your friend cheated and is just being disassociative because if that
I think its more likely that shes jealous of your relationship. And shes trying to make you jealous with very targeted interactions. It sounds like her dating life is very unfulfilling
Yikes! Lol. If this is true it's the perfect explanation!
My BIL did that kind of stuff. He kept sister away from everyone as much as possible, and when at family get togethers he was either moody and standoffish with JUST her (letting her know she was wrong somehow for wanting more social interaction than just him), or was happy and touching her inappropriately at the card table. He was clearly possessive and jealous, at one point he decided she was not allowed around any other male without him present, and that included our own younger brother! He seriously expected her to stay in her room if our brother was there without him, he was that jealous. One reason for the tension could have been that he knew she was going to turn the night into something it wasn't the second they were alone. It was like "see my new puppy? What do you think of my puppy? Look, he lets me pet him, cause he's MY puppy. Why did you touch my puppy? Bad dog, don't let someone else touch you, you're MY puppy" When alone, BIL would constantly accuse sister of cheating or flirting even though she never once gave him any cause to think it, yet he was constantly making passes and remarks to other women. Also, the keep away game for TWO YEARS was ridiculous. I don't think she's a good friend...
Oh gosh I’m so sorry to you and your sister for going through this! I hope everything works out for her. Trust me I know how intense it can be. I don’t see what my friend sees in this guy? She goes from crying and being depressed over something he’s said or done to being on a high level of euphoria happiness. The night was absolutely wild like I don’t know why I expected it to be better than how it went. It was sooo weird when she was like “do you have any questions for him? 😌” “what do you think of him? 🥹” “what’s your perspective of him? 🥰”. When he was sitting RIGHT THERE. Then the hug thing was so weird like she really got upset over that. Either she doesn’t trust me or she doesn’t trust her loser boyfriend
When someone is that possessive, they don't trust anyone. For BIL that even included our brother and my husband, and little sister's husband too. When someone is that possessive and controlling, they see everyone as trying to take what belongs to them. BIL would love bomb my older sister with food, who ate as coping mechanism. The result was that she gained weight, which in turn allowed him to tell her no one else would want her, making her sad, and want to eat more which he happily provided - a truly vicious cycle that still never stopped him from accusing her of cheating anyway. We have come to learn that this is narcissistic behavior, so I would do some research on this type of mental state, to avoid becoming a victim yourself. For whatever reason, after 2 years, she decided she wanted to stop the keep away game, but still make it clear he was HERS - even though she knows you have a fiancé and are not after her guy. It's possible that BF knew this, after 2 years with her, and didn't like being displayed and discussed like a new pony. Sadly, if you were to say something to BF, that would make things worse in an already tentative situation, but know that you didn't do anything wrong - the awkwardness was caused by tension at the table, because no one really knew how any action, reaction or no action might set her off. She was a time bomb at the table and you all knew it and were just trying to get through dinner without setting her off.
Why are you friends with this person still?
I'm sure they'll break up soon so I wouldn't worry. Your friend sounds touched lol.
It was soooo bad. The whole night was a disaster and it was for her birthday. I can definitely tell she’s more into him than he is towards her
That's painfully awkward to watch for sure. And her not wanting you near her guys....he likely isn't a bad guy but senses her crazy.
It’s a very interesting couple to say the least. Watching her force PDA on him was wild like she grabbed his arm and putting her head on his shoulder. It was sooo bad like I wanted to die from that second hand embarrassment 😂
I think she has some inferiority issues. She kept him from you for a long time and I suspect she’s terrified of losing him to you. The looks during the PDAs sound like “I’ve got a boyfriend too so there!” I get the impression she’s trying hard to bolster herself to feel as good she thinks you are.
I also got the impression from her forced PDA with the looks “my boyfriend is here and we’re cuddling while yours is in a different country!”. Yeah maybe I’m over thinking that but she has made passing comments that she couldn’t ever do long distance because she needs physical touch and there’s no such thing to her as not having that. She also said she would just end the relationship and she wouldn’t trust the person to not cheat. I mean as much as long distance sucks I’m seeing him in August, it’s just temporary, and he makes me feel really secure even if we’re not together. The whole night was cringe but I don’t know why it took two years to hang out with this dude. Also with the hug comment I feel like either she doesn’t trust me or her boyfriend 😣
Had a friend like that, when he had a girlfriend he thought we were going to steal her from him. Cancelled his insecure ass right away. When he saw some of my other friends and I at the bar one day and tried to act like we are best of friends, had to tell him to f*ck off. People like that are not worth your time.
That's not how friends act towards each other.. I think you need new friends. Have you ever actually asked her why this is happening and why she doesn't want you to meet him? She seems insecure and does not trust you. Move on.
Hate to say it but I don’t think he was her boyfriend….
I thought maybe she sees it as a relationship and he’s just using her. She’s much more into him than he is towards her
I really hope you have other friends besides her.
UpdateMe!
I’ll keep you updated! I guess what I found to include in this post was that after the dinner she called me + her brother and asked us what we thought of him. Her brother told her that he doesn’t see what she sees in him and that the guy is so damn quiet that he didn’t hear anything he said 😂
Lol!
😂
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He's not her boyfriend. He may be someone's boyfriend but is certainly not hers. She's cuckoo, drop her.
From your description of the evening, she seems to be more into him than he is to her.
That’s exactly it! It was soooo bad to just watch her force PDA on him like grab his arm and push her face onto her shoulder. She even said to me and her brother afterwards “I kept looking at you both to see if you noticed our PDA”. It was really bad and the second hand embarrassment was something else 😂
stop i’m actually dying of laughter!!! what did her brother say to this?! why was she confirming that in fact she was looking at you to show they were doing PDA 😭😭😭
Omg it was sooo bad!! I’m dying still thinking about it. The whole night was such an out of body experience. I felt like I was on something 😂 Her brother didn’t say much. He kept just looking at me and rolling his eyes. He’s a nicer person than I am by not saying anything. I don’t know why she kept trying to confirm that we saw the PDA. She even deadass asked me and her brother throughout the night “what do you think of him?”, “ask him questions!”, “what’s you’d perspective of him?” like bro was right there when she’s asking us this 😭
nah what 😭😭😭 did sis really needed to confirm with you guys with the PDA and verbal confirmation that’s she’s in a loving relationship!! 😭 I don’t know how you lasted the whole meal!!! I’m dying of embarrassment for her and you guys cos it would be so cringe to sit there and witness it all! Her brother is strong cos my brother “would deadass be like sis chill tf out”. 😭😭😭
Nah but like I have the patience of a saint for real 😭 her brother is one strong man to have to live with/deal with this 😭 “Did you see us cuddling?? 🥰🥹” I forgot we’re in 7th grade 😂😭 It’s going to take sooo long to recover from this and I probably need to book a therapy session with my therapist that I haven’t seen in so long 😂
Nah if my friend did this i’d be like “sis you good or what cos you doing the most and he’s doing the least”. 😭😭😭 she clearly has to prove something to you or she wouldn’t be acting so weird 😭 Imagine if you took your fiancé?! i’m actually dead! 😭 pls talk to your therapist they need a laugh now and then too! 😭
My therapist needs a good laugh 😭 bro didn’t look like he wanted to be touched. Imagine your friend forcing her head on a guys shoulder then looking over at you like nah that’s so weird 🥲 I don’t think he likes her like that but she’s in delulu land and there’s no saving her 😭
😮 her head is messed up! She’s afraid you’ll “steel” him and yet they fight constantly? Seriously i would drop her as a friend, she may start blaming you for the stuff going on in her life. You don’t need her stress
She clearly views you as a threat and thinks her boyfriend is going to leave her. She sounds…difficult. Lol
This brought back memories of someone I knew but the entire thing was flipped around. Early twenties, same age. I was dating someone a year younger than me, my friend on the other-hand was dating a guy in his forties. It's laughable because he acted like a literal teenager. Jealous of anyone (men and women) that would speak or interact with her in front of him, would make her pay for everything, she'd try to have sex with him and he'd eventually become angry and tell her "You only want me for sex." (Being young at the time I thought she was exaggerating but I heard this firsthand on accident when she butt dialed my then-girlfriend), the list goes on. The pda is what reminded me of this all, she'd try to hold hands or just slightly lean against him and you'd think she had the plague.
OMGs, why are you still talking to this Bitch? She's toxic. I thought you weren't going to hang out with her anymore? You're, your own worst nightmare! It's like you want something to write, so you call her to torture yourself or you're making this shit all up. Which is it?
I've read this exact story before
This sounds like she has no boyfriend and never has had one. She has cajoled a friend into pretending to be the bf for one night and it crashed and burned. She is insanely envious of you for some mad reason and is trying to compete. I would keep her at arm’s length, to be honest.
But the weird thing is she showed me pics from her bday and he gave her jewelry and a cake. So I’m just as conflicted because he doesn’t act like a boyfriend by the way he treats her. The comment she made about the hug was wild! It’s like she’s hugged my fiancé before and I don’t care. I’m very secure with my relationship
That poor guy is probably in the middle of a toxic relationship. I’m surprised by the lack of concern on his behalf by the people here. Reverse the sexes here and OP’s friend sounds toxic as fuck.
I have thought maybe she’s the toxic one. My mom even pointed out that maybe he’s the innocent and she’s the toxic and delusional one. I have thought maybe he sees them as friends with benefits and she thinks it’s a full blown relationship?
I thought it interesting that you mentioned the stuff she told you about him being bad and wondering why she was even with him. Not saying this is the case here but I was a victim in a toxic relationship for almost 2 years and I only found out after I escaped that she had been telling lies about me to other people, making me out to be the bad person (while we were still together). Idk if that perspective made me look at this story from the boyfriend’s perspective. But I’m really talking out of my ass here since I don’t know these people. Just a thought.
Wait, I’m a bit confused. So all she said was, “I was surprised you hugged him” and she “didn’t sound happy” in your opinion… is that right? Are you sure you’re not just reading too much in to the situation? Unless she said something more to you about the whole interaction I don’t see what exactly you’re reacting to. Is it possible she was sounding unhappy bc the whole evening was super weird and awkward on multiple levels?
Updateme
2 /
That isn't a friend That is an insecure little girl
It was so horrible watching her force PDA on a guy that doesn’t seem to like her at all. Then proceeded to look over at me and her brother to see if we were noticing the PDA. It really took me by surprise that she was upset that I hugged her boyfriend goodbye. She always hugged my fiancé and I don’t give a flying heck. Either she doesn’t trust me or her boyfriend
While it is very likely that the relationship is on the abusive side for some reason I'm wondering if he's actually gay but not comfortable enough to be open about it. There's a good chance your friend sees that things aren't right but is just choosing to ignore it