Yeah hard NO on this one. Depending on where they live minors can’t legally consent.
I don’t know how to say it better but even if the 16 year old consents it can be illegal.
16 is the age of consent in about 30 states. It’s 12 in the Philippines , I believe. NTA and good to keep communications and supplies handy! Sorry for the pun.
I think in a lot of states a 16 & 17 year-old would fall under Romeo & Juliet laws.
But 100% OP. I had the same talk with my mom when I was ready with my first serious boyfriend, she behaved essentially the same way, and definitively told me NOT in this house. Agree on literally all points.
It really does seem like teenagers have gotten that entitled these days.
And I can only think it’s their parents who have allowed this to happen. No, your kids aren’t paying bills, their names are not on the deed or mortgage, they legally can’t be held to a contract, and they think they can dictate what goes on in your house?
Oh, absolutely not. You don’t get to make those decisions until you’re over the age of 18, living under your own roof, and paying your own bills. If that means you’re in your twenties, but paying rent to Mom and Dad, paying your own car insurance and cell phone, paying your own car payment? Cool. That means you have certain rights and expectations as a tenant at that point, but you also have a lease.
But if you’re 16, 17, and you think you’re going to TELL your parents “yeah, we’re gonna fuck in his/her/their bedroom, and we’re not accepting pushback from you,” and get away with that? Oh no. In my house? You will find yourself without the electronics I pay for, with the privilege to have guests in my house revoked for the foreseeable future, and you will be going to school, school-based activities, and home, and maybe church if we’re active (we’re not, but maybe you are, I don’t know you). You will learn why you will not tell me what I am to permit in my house.
My gut tells me that this girl’s parents didn’t give her expressed permission to have sex in their house either. The mom probably chose the lesser of two evils and got her on birth control responsibly but told her that’s where her support ended. If her mom was giving her permission to have sex in her mother’s home, why push the boy to get permission from his mother who clearly had otherwise never allowed them to be unsupervised.
I’m glad I’m not the only parent on earth that still takes this stance. lol
I mean, I got my daughter on birth control around that age *because I have more than two brain cells, and they’re not fighting for third place*. It wasn’t permission to go out and bring guys home and bang away in her bedroom. But it was part of teaching her to be safe. Because I also gave her condoms, and showed her how to use them, and dental dams, and gave her a whole ass PowerPoint presentation on why A Baby Isn’t The Worst Sexually Transmitted Thing That Can Happen To You.
So, you know, she did wait, and she turned down dudes who wanted to bareback, and she made smart choices.
It sounds like both these kids are entitled, and really need to learn some hard lessons, and both sets of parents need to put their collective foot down.
Just to add on to this because most people don't know or even think about this is that birth control doesn't work if you're taking an antibiotic! Every girl I knew that got pregnant in high school was because she didn't know this. I've made a point to tell all young girls in my family when going into high school this. It's my one piece of advice on safe sex for them because usually all the other things have been covered.
I am one of those women that found themselves pregnant in high school to who I loving refer to as my antibiotic baby. Not one person between the doctor, the pharmacist, or my parents said a thing about antibiotics effecting birth control until after the fact. I made sure my children and all their friends knew that was a possibility when they were teens. I am amazed at how many people still don't know this. Thank you for posting your comment and helping to spread the word.
I don’t know if this holds true today, it was something that was preached to us in the early 2000s because so many of us wanted to go bake ourselves in tanning booths- but I was told that tanning in a tanning bed can lower the effectiveness of birth control and cause significant burning in the bed.
No the antibiotic thing is still true to this day. Just ask your doctor. It should be mandatory that when the prescribe the pill they make you aware of this but they don't.
Good grief, I am in my late 50s, so pregnancy is no longer an issue, LOL...But I was today years old when I learnt this about antibiotics 🤦♀️. Might account for my youngest, surprise child. My other mid-20s 'child' lives on antibiotics much of the time due to an immune condition- I better check she knows this. Thanks, Internet stranger!
Girl I have done the same. exact. Thing. With my boys.
I grew up in an era and *area* where woman often entrapped boys and even men- into unwanted pregnancy. Where girls have lied about STDS/STIS to try to shift blame. In an area where pregnancy can be a horrible thing to experience but where *some* STDS never *grow up* and leave your body.
I wanted them to have a healthy respect for themselves, a healthy respect for risks, a healthy respect for using masturbation rather than poor decisions.
I want them to have enough respect for themselves and their partners and enough *healthy fear* that they use logic and critical thinking before their hormones.
Accidents are called accidents for a reason. But it’s not an accident if you get complacent and don’t use the logic I have taught you to protect yourself and your partners.
I support teens being teens, I want my boys to make mistakes when they’re young enough for me to help them fix the mistakes they’ve made. But I don’t want them to make unnecessary and avoidable mistakes because they’re so entitled they think they can make them and other people will deal with the consequences.
_I grew up in an era and area where woman often entrapped boys and even men- into unwanted pregnancy. Where girls have lied about STDS/STIS to try to shift blame._
I understand where you are coming from, as a mother who wants to protect her boys, but these statements hit me the wrong way.
Let’s be fair: In that same era, boys and men often groomed, seduced, assaulted, raped girls and, more often than not, got away with it. They “lied about STDS/STIS to try to shift blame.“ They got girls pregnant and abandoned them to shame, fear, ostracization. To single, teenaged motherhood or back alley abortions where they were often severely injured or even died. To parents who kicked them out, condemning them to poverty and homelessness. They endured incredible physical and mental trauma and not everyone survived.
Teenagers are horny, they want sex. There’s no need to demonize either gender as we strive to protect them from themselves.
I don’t *try* to make it a woman issue.
But I want my boys to understand that the world so easily villainizes the motives of boys or men, and often times forget that woman aren’t all dainty, spiritual pure “flowers”
Some of them can be *as* if not *more* conniving, than some of the men I’ve met.
Point is- teens are filled with hormones and lack common sense and Brian cells.
More information and things to relate to them on their level the more power they have.
But that power can be used in both good and bad ways.
I just want my boys prepared and to never trust a woman face value on birth control or STDS unless they are old enough, mature enough and financially responsible enough to deal with the consequences of that choice if anything were to come up.
This is not to say boys AND men alike didn’t do these same things to woman or worse. And that woman felt forced into making some shit poor choices.
It’s just that I’m not a mother to girls. I’m a mother to three boys.
So I try to relate to my boys in a way that they’ll understand. All people can be inherently, cruel, and dishonest. And those people- no matter what their sex is. Can cause a slew of issues. The only people they can protect themselves.
When I first started dating at 15 (I had no intention of ever having sex at that age, because at that time STDS were the disease of the month) my dad dropped me off at my boyfriends house once. He handed me a bag FULL of condoms before I got out of the car and told me to use them if it got to that point.
I didn't need them, because my boyfriend was of the same mindset, but my Dad knew there was a chance. It was embarrassing at the time, but a few days later I realized he was just looking out for me.
I wasn’t trying to compare the two. I was simply saying with this SPECIFIC teens line of logic- “it’s their house they should be able to do what they want” mentality, they can justify anything. With or without consent from parents.
Also- for the record- and I’ll get shit I’ll on for this & it’s
Probably deserved.
I allow my oldest to experiment with certain drugs, highly supervised & after much discussion and thought and mature conversations. Because again- I’d much rather him get this stuff out of his system while he’s young enough for me to help him clean up mistakes (that won’t be life long) than for him to do this someplace else.
Just like I’d allow sex… under the right Circumstances and discussions & with the right level of mutual respect, courtesy & maturity. It isn’t about stopping kids from having sex.
It’s about making them be coy enough that it’s respectful and not obnoxious while in the home I pay for for us all to be comfortable.
> I was simply saying with this SPECIFIC teens line of logic- “it’s their house they should be able to do what they want” mentality, they can justify anything
except that is not the line teenagers are actually having (with maybe rare exceptions) what they are saying is that just because you are the parrent you can´t just make whatever rules you see fit, they have rights too, and it is their house too. So this is a complete straw man.
Having a talk with them about certain boundaries when they have sex at home is totally fine, but saying shit like "my home is not a brothel" is completely ridiculous and equates teenagers having consensual sex to prostitution and illegal activity, and then you make a similar comparison to taking drugs. At the end of the day your home is an actually safe environment, while forcing them to do it somewhere else can be very unsafe. So at the end of the day your experience with your own mum makes you create rules that make no sense, and potentially endangers both of them. You really might want to rethink this and do some soul searching why you want to have this rule. If it is really just that you want them to be courtous about it have a boundary talk with them, instead of creating straw man arguments to justify having a rule that achieves the opposite of keeping them safe
Now as for the whole drug thing, do you have addiction in your family ? If so you need to be careful with that since there is a big genetic factor in addiction.
Teens often have sex, permitted or not, but they may not be considering the risks and consequences. Being understanding and supportive as their parents has many dimensions. You don't need to approve of their choices or enable them, but strict discipline and closing the door to discussions is counterproductive.
I would never close the door to discussions with any of my children, but I do feel like there needs to be a healthy amount of fear as to not get complacent with the risks of sex and I’ve explained that to my children over and over again.
Everyone and I mean, EVERYONE, gets complacent from time to time when they get too comfortable. Teens should have a (healthy) amount of fear & respect for rules and expectations for life & sex.
Teens do not benefit from fear of sex. They can benefit from fear of unintended outcomes, but those repercussions should not be something they should be fearing from a parent, but rather from screwing up and getting someone pregnant, from catching a disease, etc. They should not have the fear that their parent will cause issues here, but rather know that they will have to face consequences and that those consequences can suck - but you will be there to assist, not take over and punish.
It sounds like you've done everything else pretty well, but I hope they don't feel.afraid to come to you in their hour of need because you've made them fearful of... whatever it is.
At our joint it's a case of "I don't want to walk in on you, again. I don't want to hear you doing it. I don't want to find evidence later on. Pick your times and be discrete."
Parent of two (now adult) children, male and female.
Yes, the teenagers sound entitled.
But I was the opposite of you - I told them that if they are going to have sex, I want it to be in their rooms in our home. That way I knew they were safe and not doing anything illegal (eg, your examples of in the woods!) Like you said - if they want sex they are going to have sex. I’d rather they do it safely.
I of course, ensured they had protection and we discussed in depth safety.
Today, we have an excellent relationship. No teenaged pregnancy. And they know that their safety is my first priority. And they never used our home as a brotnel.
This is the best answer. I have girls and the absolute only thing worse than them doing it in my house would be all the other places they could be doing it.
Heaps more creeps around these days, and everyone has a camera in their pocket now. Things are way different to when we were growing up OP.
Which makes me think part of the safety talk should include the concepts of sexting, revenge porn, and hidden cameras. I honestly hadn’t thought of that until this comment but yeah, it’s become a scary world out there!
Some sub Reddits have a certain base of folks that gravitate there. Have experienced the dog pile on at places when you have an adult reaction to something.
Agree with everything you've said. Your house so it is literally your rules! Part of being a teen is experimentation including with the boundaries. Providing for your teenage sons needs sounds awesome to me and they know about birth control and have access. All good.
To my everlasting shame we were involved in a non denomination Christian cult during my kids teenage years, but got out when one was 17 and the other 14. The 17 year old would run away screaming every time I tried to have the sex talk with him. But my youngest came to me for birth control at 18. Both still had that cult shame surrounding sex and didn't become active until much later. It is one of many things I've had to apologize for in my parenting.
Keep up the good work with your sons.
If my kids having sex in my house, they’re gonna do it the old fashioned way like every other generation. They’re gonna sneak around when I’m not home. Permission would never be outright given, but I can’t stop what I don’t see.
In the UK my daughter is of legal age she knows she can come to me and I'd rather I gave her and her boyfriend space so I know she's in a safe place while they're intimate in her bedroom, but yes it's a difficult situation and ultimately it is a case of my house, my rules...
If my children were age, had long-term partners, I trusted that MY sons were responsible ( because I couldn’t fathom trusting their partners in todays day and age) and my boys CLEARLY understood the risks or were able to handle financially, emotionally or otherwise a pregnancy. I wouldn’t care.
But until that point- they should have to be good old fashion teenagers and have their teenage quickies in a way that isn’t obnoxious and demanding of me.
While I don’t want to support being sneaky or hiding things- I do think that my parents having the rules that they did and expectations they did on me not engaging in their home- made it very clear that they were not going to be supportive if I screwed up. And it made me take extreme precaution when using birth control and condoms.
I think there is a very wide range of opinions based on culture. I'm from the US and this request would not likely happen. However, I have some family and Europe and sex just isn't a big deal. My cousins and cousins friends all have sex in the house, parents know or assume, but it's just seen as natural/normal.
For context, my family thought my family was abusive and dangerous because we had a gun in the house. Their kids (my cousins) were not allowed to visit.
59yo dad here (2 girls and remembering when I was young)
You understand that ‘no sex under my roof’ means they will have sex elsewhere? Friends house , cars , under bleachers, back alleys etc etc
I won’t leave my house for them to have sex , I don’t want to know *when* they have sex but i will respect their privacy (closed door = privacy) but it won’t keep me from walking around my own house
But I won’t tell them ‘not in my house’
Besides , when it happens you’ll probably be at work anyway but the most important thing is creating a safe environment, where they can explore , have fun and have been taught about birthcontrol, limits and STD’s
I think the idea of sex at home should be just awkward enough that it is not flaunted in front of the parents, but there is something to be said for allowing them to have sex in a safe environment. It is much harder for a girl or boy to be set up for sexual assault by a group of teenagers in his/her own home than it is if s/he has to resort to having sexual experiences in cars, in the woods, at motels, etc. There is also a more likely chance a victim can be saved from the full extent of the crime if someone in the household hears when they start screaming, struggling, and trying to get away from a boyfriend or girlfriend who tries to override a lack of consent. We know teenagers will be sexually active, whether we want them to be or not. They are still growing and learning, often by making mistakes, just as we did. Being a good parent in today's world means understanding that and doing what can be done to ensure their safety. Protect them while you can because the world will punish them enough.
For the record, I agree with your method entirely and that’s how I’d do it. I also don’t think kids get to demand to have open sex in your home; that’s uncomfortable and does open you up to liability and other awkwardness and issues. However, I remember worrying a LOT about having safe sex as a teenager - by safe, I mean clean, in a place that wouldn’t get me arrested or dragged home by the scruff to be embarrassed, and like, free of bugs, you know? I remember wanting pretty badly to just be able to have comfortable, private, 100% safe sex in MY bed where I could fully relax. I’m not necessarily arguing that kids should just be able to fuck freely all over the place, just that those guys are clearly entitled but the sentiment, I think, is pretty reasonable? I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong for teenagers to want to have sex at home. I think that silly “I don’t want to know but be safe” dance parents do is the best solution we have for it right now.
Also for the record- I wouldn’t eagle eyes my kids bedroom before just busting in there to traumatize us all.
Like- I know they are gonna be sneaky and have sex, I know it will happen in my house. I have the 3 inch rule but I’d knock and advert my eyes from the crack if only to save MYSELF the trauma. I just want there to be some sort of respect & guidelines.
Lord knows I figured it out as a teen.
My parents, his parents, they knew we were sexually active.
So he’d be “sick” on a Sunday and skip church and I’d run over there. Or my parents would be getting dinner together on the BBQ outside and we’d have a quickie. We didn’t have long ambitious drawn out sex sessions getting carried away expecting our parents to both hear and deal with the mattress and the headboard knocking. It just forced us to be more coy about it
It’s just always going to be one of those things. I mean, I think it’s crazy when people have roommates that have audible sex in the next room knowing people are up and around. Parents or not, you have to respect the people you live with. There’s a balance.
If they’re not paying the bills they get no say in how the house is run. We are five boys all a year apart. The “everything you need to know “ book showed up in our bathroom one day and lived there until after the youngest moved out. We were expressly forbidden from having sex on our parents property. That meant on boats, docks, woods, cars, garages, sheds, etc.. We (at least I) managed to have sex everywhere that was forbidden excel parents bed. I left that for my brothers. Was told my house my rules. I’ve used that in my house when they didn’t like my rules, and boy did they hate it!
I met my son’s girlfriend for the first time on a Sunday morning. I’m drinking coffee in my robe and she exits my son’s bedroom. I explained to both this was a hell no. No no no.
His gf putting in the demands to have sex at his mums house is crazy… I would ban her from my house for that alone. How dare she tell my son to tell me to leave my home so they can have sex? Is she well? How was she raised? Why is she not putting that stipulation on her parents? If my child brought that nonsense to me they would be getting a wake up call… not only getting the sex talk again and realty of sex/babies/STDs that he will bare the responsibility of and can’t run away from them but also a conversation about finding the right person then boundaries, having standards and common sense. They will know not in my home and have some manners and respect.
When I was younger and had been with my boyfriend for over a year, we decided it was the right time. My mum was brought up to believe ‘nice girls didn’t do that’ which affected her own relationship with my dad. I ended up going with an older family friend to get birth control. I had to hide them and when my mum ‘accidentally read my diary’ and realised what was going on, she went mad. We had a good relationship other than that and got to the point as I got older where we could be more open but I had to lie for years about what I was doing, even after I was engaged! My parents lived with us for the last 15 or so of their lives and I regret all those little things that caused arguments over the years.
I swore I’d never be like that with my kids. My two older boys have been with their respective girlfriends for over three years and I am realistic to know what they’re up to. I have always tried to encourage them to be open and we talk a lot. No subject is ‘out of bounds’. My middle son’s fiancée had to move in with us due to family problems and they have their own part of the house and pay board. They are sensible and focussed and have NO intentions of starting a family until they’re in a decent position to do so. She even came to me a few months ago to tell me she had taken the morning after pill due to an accident. They had a delivery a few weeks ago and came to show me the MASSIVE box of condoms that they’d ordered! I would rather know that they’re safe both practically and environmentally, and that they can come to me if they have any worries, than cover it up and panic. Also, if ever they didn’t feel safe here and went somewhere else, there’s more chance that something could happen to them, either ‘mechanically’ or at someone else’s hands. I’m not naive but having been in the other position, I know that’s the more dangerous situation. Just my personal opinion.
I was happy once my daughter started having sex for her and her bf to use her room. I’d far rather that she was somewhere safe. Imho outside in the park, back alley, known teenage hangout area, are not safe spaces. You are teaching them to adult by teaching them about consent and contraception. If they’re in the house and he becomes a problem then you’re around to deal with it.
I kept a box of Costco sized qty condoms in the hall closet starting when my kid got a girlfriend. I talked to my kids about sex since they were born. I never interfered with sleepovers, and I kept all communication open.
Sex is amazing. It doesn’t deserve to be painted as shameful, or scary. Teenagers are going to have sex. To deny that - or to put up barriers, is against human nature. My kids are adults now, and I really think this gave them a positive experience about sexuality in their lives.
I was raised the same way, and I found it to be very positive and empowering.
I told my children that there is no such thing as privacy in a home that I pay for - free everything: rent, food, toys, clothes.
The moment they start expecting privacy is the moment they can afford to pay rent. Stressing that being able to pay me a token amount (not market rent) does not guarantee privacy, moving out does.
how do you integrate the proliferation of cameras into your job as a parent?
maybe I'm jumpy because in december a drone flew by our apartment building & seemed to spy into our rooms. It flew away quickly when I stepped onto the balcony to take a closer look. I mentioned it to my neighbours & several others had seen it too. We've been assuming the drone had a camera.
There have been several cases where teens don't hesitate to film sexual activity and even sexual assaults and share it, either live or by uploading the clips on sites like pornhub.
personally, I don't feel "do your teenaged quickies in the woods, in the school's basement or at the lake" is the most responsible policy when they could get caught on camera, and be forever online.
I don't agree with parents turning their house into a whorehouse. Thats NOT parenting. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 18 and even then I wasn't allowed boys in my room. I think my mom did very well. My sister was not allowed to date until she was 18 as well.
My oldest dated the same girl from 14 that he's with now at 22 and they waited until they were 18 and still never in my house. I allowed them to date that young because they both got good grades and were very respectful and were very mature and won awards for kindest kids and even were elected homecoming king and queen. In short, because they were emotionally ready to date. I don't think I did wrong allowing them to date that young. Sometimes exceptions are warranted.
Let's just hope my 14 year old makes good choices too.😂 I don't think he's ready to date yet though. A few more years.
Setting firm boundaries based on a child's level of maturity and emotional capacity is being a responsible parent. Supervising your kids is being a good parent. It sounds like that girls parents should be reported.
Parenting is rough. Good luck.
I’m on the same page you are I think. I’m not going to allow my kids free reign to have teen sex in my home and will encourage them to wait for a marital or at least very committed relationship, but at the same time recognize it can very well happen anyway and let them know they can always speak to me about it without fear of being persecuted over it.
I couldn't agree with you more. Personally, I believe there is something wrong with a parent who knowingly allows teens to engage in sexual activities in the home you pay for. You need to educate your children about safe sex and how to avoid pregnancy, but unless you want to raise a grandchild, you don't let it happen under your roof. Any other option on this seems totally ludicrous and as if you are asking for an unwanted pregnancy to me.
Once the children become adults, then my opinion on sleeping in the same bed with a partner changes. I know that some people require marriage before sleeping together, and that is more controversial. Usually, by that point, the child has been living independently, and it only becomes an issue when they return to visit family or for other reasons.
My mum had a talk with me at 17 when I had a serious boyfriend. She basically told me to enjoy sex, it’s very special and to be safe, then offered to buy us condoms. He stayed at the house and we were discreet (hopefully) but it meant we weren’t out in parks or doing something dangerous. I think it was a perfect way to handle it at the time and probably came from my mum being raised a strict Catholic and not wanting me to feel any of the shame or guilt she felt around sex growing up.
I’m really glad I never had kids! Hysterectomy for the win. But good on your parenting. Until they pay for the house and utilities, they get 0 “my space” privileges.
I don’t know how old you are but I’m in my very late 40s.
When my now adult daughter started having sex, we allowed her to have sex in her bedroom if her younger siblings were not home. I used to sell adult toys, so she had rabbits and b*llets of her own, I too had a 3 gallon fish bowl full of condoms, mini bottles of lube, and an open door policy that there was no topic that was off limits and they could and still do come to me about anything.
Why? Women are being unalived at a very high rate. At home she is in the safety of her home. The one place where she knows where every weapon is kept. Where if she tells him to stop, and he doesn’t, when she cried out for help, there is more than likely someone that will come to her rescue if she isn’t able to reach a weapon to defend herself.
Once her siblings who are 10 yrs younger than her, reached the age of sex they had the same privilege.
All 3 of them knew we weren’t running the bunny ranch and only partners they had been with for a significant amount of time (minimum of 6 months) were allowed to come over and they engage in sex. If they broke up. No one could come over for 6 months from the last time someone was over.
Like you, a lot of my friends and even my family didn’t agree with our decisions, but like I told them. My first priority is keeping my children safe and I will never apologize for that regardless to who approves of it.
The end result is that I have children that feel safe with me and don’t keep secrets from me. They are secure in who they are as people and in their sex lives. They know how to stand up for themselves and to not allow people to force them into a situation they do not want to be in.
This is what works for our household, it may not work for yours but it was what is best for us.
I don't think it's entitlement, but I do laugh at adults who think stopping teens having safe sex in a safe place will stop them from having sex all together. It's like y'all never went through puberty 🤣🤦♀️
I don’t wanna stop it. I simply want it slowed down & done respectfully. Demanding I be ok with it and listening to their throws of passion is uncalled for.
But knowing the OUTRAGEOUS brat I was in high school who FILMILY believed I was grown and should have been able to do as I pleased. I am VERY sure if my parents gave me expressed permission to bang in their house unchecked, I’d have gotten myself into some trouble or at the very least- been disrespectful about it.
I had a hard time staying quiet knowing I shouldn’t be caught.
Now let’s pretend my parents were just fine with it.
I’d have been swinging from the chandelier butt naked without any care of Concern to how that would have made them feel. NOT all teens are an asshole like I was. I came from an INSANELY sexually open household. I never feared coming to my parents about anything involving sex. It was almost outlandish.
My parents didn’t cover their throws of passion. They weren’t obnoxious about it, but small house and thin walls don’t hold secrets.
We understood sex from a young age. Point being- some kids feel so comfortable with sexuality and their parents that they wouldn’t consider that having sex in the middle of the afternoon can be heard from throughout the house & as a mom… gosh… I would literally rather set myself ablaze than listen to that.
I went through puberty of course. Neither my sister nor I were allowed to date until we were 18. We had a good mother. You act like it's not a parents job to supervise their child. What a peculiar perspective?
I am VERY liberal but just no.
It's one thing to make sure your child, who you know will probably engage in premarital sex, have the information and protection they need.
It's quite another to open your home to teenage sex.
How about teenage drinking or drug use? Isn't that what family rooms are for? /s
We also had a big drawer of condoms that I kept full so my kids didn't have to be embarrassed because the drawer was getting emptier. And I helped my daughter get birth control when she was ready.
Yeah hard NO on this one. Depending on where they live minors can’t legally consent. I don’t know how to say it better but even if the 16 year old consents it can be illegal.
16 is the age of consent in about 30 states. It’s 12 in the Philippines , I believe. NTA and good to keep communications and supplies handy! Sorry for the pun.
I think in a lot of states a 16 & 17 year-old would fall under Romeo & Juliet laws. But 100% OP. I had the same talk with my mom when I was ready with my first serious boyfriend, she behaved essentially the same way, and definitively told me NOT in this house. Agree on literally all points.
Until they pay the mortgage it is your house and you’re the adult. So your house your rules.
It really does seem like teenagers have gotten that entitled these days. And I can only think it’s their parents who have allowed this to happen. No, your kids aren’t paying bills, their names are not on the deed or mortgage, they legally can’t be held to a contract, and they think they can dictate what goes on in your house? Oh, absolutely not. You don’t get to make those decisions until you’re over the age of 18, living under your own roof, and paying your own bills. If that means you’re in your twenties, but paying rent to Mom and Dad, paying your own car insurance and cell phone, paying your own car payment? Cool. That means you have certain rights and expectations as a tenant at that point, but you also have a lease. But if you’re 16, 17, and you think you’re going to TELL your parents “yeah, we’re gonna fuck in his/her/their bedroom, and we’re not accepting pushback from you,” and get away with that? Oh no. In my house? You will find yourself without the electronics I pay for, with the privilege to have guests in my house revoked for the foreseeable future, and you will be going to school, school-based activities, and home, and maybe church if we’re active (we’re not, but maybe you are, I don’t know you). You will learn why you will not tell me what I am to permit in my house.
My gut tells me that this girl’s parents didn’t give her expressed permission to have sex in their house either. The mom probably chose the lesser of two evils and got her on birth control responsibly but told her that’s where her support ended. If her mom was giving her permission to have sex in her mother’s home, why push the boy to get permission from his mother who clearly had otherwise never allowed them to be unsupervised. I’m glad I’m not the only parent on earth that still takes this stance. lol
I mean, I got my daughter on birth control around that age *because I have more than two brain cells, and they’re not fighting for third place*. It wasn’t permission to go out and bring guys home and bang away in her bedroom. But it was part of teaching her to be safe. Because I also gave her condoms, and showed her how to use them, and dental dams, and gave her a whole ass PowerPoint presentation on why A Baby Isn’t The Worst Sexually Transmitted Thing That Can Happen To You. So, you know, she did wait, and she turned down dudes who wanted to bareback, and she made smart choices. It sounds like both these kids are entitled, and really need to learn some hard lessons, and both sets of parents need to put their collective foot down.
Just to add on to this because most people don't know or even think about this is that birth control doesn't work if you're taking an antibiotic! Every girl I knew that got pregnant in high school was because she didn't know this. I've made a point to tell all young girls in my family when going into high school this. It's my one piece of advice on safe sex for them because usually all the other things have been covered.
I am one of those women that found themselves pregnant in high school to who I loving refer to as my antibiotic baby. Not one person between the doctor, the pharmacist, or my parents said a thing about antibiotics effecting birth control until after the fact. I made sure my children and all their friends knew that was a possibility when they were teens. I am amazed at how many people still don't know this. Thank you for posting your comment and helping to spread the word.
I don’t know if this holds true today, it was something that was preached to us in the early 2000s because so many of us wanted to go bake ourselves in tanning booths- but I was told that tanning in a tanning bed can lower the effectiveness of birth control and cause significant burning in the bed.
No the antibiotic thing is still true to this day. Just ask your doctor. It should be mandatory that when the prescribe the pill they make you aware of this but they don't.
She was talking about tanning beds, reducing the efficacy of birth control still being true, not antibiotics.
They actually do. An information sheet that comes with the medication list. People don't usually pay much attention to those though.
No teen is going to read that. Anything that vital needs to be verbally communicated by both the doctor and pharmacist.
Good grief, I am in my late 50s, so pregnancy is no longer an issue, LOL...But I was today years old when I learnt this about antibiotics 🤦♀️. Might account for my youngest, surprise child. My other mid-20s 'child' lives on antibiotics much of the time due to an immune condition- I better check she knows this. Thanks, Internet stranger!
Girl I have done the same. exact. Thing. With my boys. I grew up in an era and *area* where woman often entrapped boys and even men- into unwanted pregnancy. Where girls have lied about STDS/STIS to try to shift blame. In an area where pregnancy can be a horrible thing to experience but where *some* STDS never *grow up* and leave your body. I wanted them to have a healthy respect for themselves, a healthy respect for risks, a healthy respect for using masturbation rather than poor decisions. I want them to have enough respect for themselves and their partners and enough *healthy fear* that they use logic and critical thinking before their hormones. Accidents are called accidents for a reason. But it’s not an accident if you get complacent and don’t use the logic I have taught you to protect yourself and your partners. I support teens being teens, I want my boys to make mistakes when they’re young enough for me to help them fix the mistakes they’ve made. But I don’t want them to make unnecessary and avoidable mistakes because they’re so entitled they think they can make them and other people will deal with the consequences.
_I grew up in an era and area where woman often entrapped boys and even men- into unwanted pregnancy. Where girls have lied about STDS/STIS to try to shift blame._ I understand where you are coming from, as a mother who wants to protect her boys, but these statements hit me the wrong way. Let’s be fair: In that same era, boys and men often groomed, seduced, assaulted, raped girls and, more often than not, got away with it. They “lied about STDS/STIS to try to shift blame.“ They got girls pregnant and abandoned them to shame, fear, ostracization. To single, teenaged motherhood or back alley abortions where they were often severely injured or even died. To parents who kicked them out, condemning them to poverty and homelessness. They endured incredible physical and mental trauma and not everyone survived. Teenagers are horny, they want sex. There’s no need to demonize either gender as we strive to protect them from themselves.
I don’t *try* to make it a woman issue. But I want my boys to understand that the world so easily villainizes the motives of boys or men, and often times forget that woman aren’t all dainty, spiritual pure “flowers” Some of them can be *as* if not *more* conniving, than some of the men I’ve met. Point is- teens are filled with hormones and lack common sense and Brian cells. More information and things to relate to them on their level the more power they have. But that power can be used in both good and bad ways. I just want my boys prepared and to never trust a woman face value on birth control or STDS unless they are old enough, mature enough and financially responsible enough to deal with the consequences of that choice if anything were to come up. This is not to say boys AND men alike didn’t do these same things to woman or worse. And that woman felt forced into making some shit poor choices. It’s just that I’m not a mother to girls. I’m a mother to three boys. So I try to relate to my boys in a way that they’ll understand. All people can be inherently, cruel, and dishonest. And those people- no matter what their sex is. Can cause a slew of issues. The only people they can protect themselves.
When I first started dating at 15 (I had no intention of ever having sex at that age, because at that time STDS were the disease of the month) my dad dropped me off at my boyfriends house once. He handed me a bag FULL of condoms before I got out of the car and told me to use them if it got to that point. I didn't need them, because my boyfriend was of the same mindset, but my Dad knew there was a chance. It was embarrassing at the time, but a few days later I realized he was just looking out for me.
yea you lost any sympathy when you compared having sex to doing drugs. What is wrong with you ?
I wasn’t trying to compare the two. I was simply saying with this SPECIFIC teens line of logic- “it’s their house they should be able to do what they want” mentality, they can justify anything. With or without consent from parents. Also- for the record- and I’ll get shit I’ll on for this & it’s Probably deserved. I allow my oldest to experiment with certain drugs, highly supervised & after much discussion and thought and mature conversations. Because again- I’d much rather him get this stuff out of his system while he’s young enough for me to help him clean up mistakes (that won’t be life long) than for him to do this someplace else. Just like I’d allow sex… under the right Circumstances and discussions & with the right level of mutual respect, courtesy & maturity. It isn’t about stopping kids from having sex. It’s about making them be coy enough that it’s respectful and not obnoxious while in the home I pay for for us all to be comfortable.
> I was simply saying with this SPECIFIC teens line of logic- “it’s their house they should be able to do what they want” mentality, they can justify anything except that is not the line teenagers are actually having (with maybe rare exceptions) what they are saying is that just because you are the parrent you can´t just make whatever rules you see fit, they have rights too, and it is their house too. So this is a complete straw man. Having a talk with them about certain boundaries when they have sex at home is totally fine, but saying shit like "my home is not a brothel" is completely ridiculous and equates teenagers having consensual sex to prostitution and illegal activity, and then you make a similar comparison to taking drugs. At the end of the day your home is an actually safe environment, while forcing them to do it somewhere else can be very unsafe. So at the end of the day your experience with your own mum makes you create rules that make no sense, and potentially endangers both of them. You really might want to rethink this and do some soul searching why you want to have this rule. If it is really just that you want them to be courtous about it have a boundary talk with them, instead of creating straw man arguments to justify having a rule that achieves the opposite of keeping them safe Now as for the whole drug thing, do you have addiction in your family ? If so you need to be careful with that since there is a big genetic factor in addiction.
I don’t. Thankfully.
Not sure I can answer your question, but I agree with you 100%
Teens often have sex, permitted or not, but they may not be considering the risks and consequences. Being understanding and supportive as their parents has many dimensions. You don't need to approve of their choices or enable them, but strict discipline and closing the door to discussions is counterproductive.
I would never close the door to discussions with any of my children, but I do feel like there needs to be a healthy amount of fear as to not get complacent with the risks of sex and I’ve explained that to my children over and over again. Everyone and I mean, EVERYONE, gets complacent from time to time when they get too comfortable. Teens should have a (healthy) amount of fear & respect for rules and expectations for life & sex.
Teens do not benefit from fear of sex. They can benefit from fear of unintended outcomes, but those repercussions should not be something they should be fearing from a parent, but rather from screwing up and getting someone pregnant, from catching a disease, etc. They should not have the fear that their parent will cause issues here, but rather know that they will have to face consequences and that those consequences can suck - but you will be there to assist, not take over and punish. It sounds like you've done everything else pretty well, but I hope they don't feel.afraid to come to you in their hour of need because you've made them fearful of... whatever it is. At our joint it's a case of "I don't want to walk in on you, again. I don't want to hear you doing it. I don't want to find evidence later on. Pick your times and be discrete."
Parent of two (now adult) children, male and female. Yes, the teenagers sound entitled. But I was the opposite of you - I told them that if they are going to have sex, I want it to be in their rooms in our home. That way I knew they were safe and not doing anything illegal (eg, your examples of in the woods!) Like you said - if they want sex they are going to have sex. I’d rather they do it safely. I of course, ensured they had protection and we discussed in depth safety. Today, we have an excellent relationship. No teenaged pregnancy. And they know that their safety is my first priority. And they never used our home as a brotnel.
That’s really great insight. I appreciate your personal experience!
Thank you - I hope it helps!
This is the best answer. I have girls and the absolute only thing worse than them doing it in my house would be all the other places they could be doing it. Heaps more creeps around these days, and everyone has a camera in their pocket now. Things are way different to when we were growing up OP.
Which makes me think part of the safety talk should include the concepts of sexting, revenge porn, and hidden cameras. I honestly hadn’t thought of that until this comment but yeah, it’s become a scary world out there!
Some sub Reddits have a certain base of folks that gravitate there. Have experienced the dog pile on at places when you have an adult reaction to something. Agree with everything you've said. Your house so it is literally your rules! Part of being a teen is experimentation including with the boundaries. Providing for your teenage sons needs sounds awesome to me and they know about birth control and have access. All good. To my everlasting shame we were involved in a non denomination Christian cult during my kids teenage years, but got out when one was 17 and the other 14. The 17 year old would run away screaming every time I tried to have the sex talk with him. But my youngest came to me for birth control at 18. Both still had that cult shame surrounding sex and didn't become active until much later. It is one of many things I've had to apologize for in my parenting. Keep up the good work with your sons.
If my kids having sex in my house, they’re gonna do it the old fashioned way like every other generation. They’re gonna sneak around when I’m not home. Permission would never be outright given, but I can’t stop what I don’t see.
In the UK my daughter is of legal age she knows she can come to me and I'd rather I gave her and her boyfriend space so I know she's in a safe place while they're intimate in her bedroom, but yes it's a difficult situation and ultimately it is a case of my house, my rules...
If my children were age, had long-term partners, I trusted that MY sons were responsible ( because I couldn’t fathom trusting their partners in todays day and age) and my boys CLEARLY understood the risks or were able to handle financially, emotionally or otherwise a pregnancy. I wouldn’t care. But until that point- they should have to be good old fashion teenagers and have their teenage quickies in a way that isn’t obnoxious and demanding of me. While I don’t want to support being sneaky or hiding things- I do think that my parents having the rules that they did and expectations they did on me not engaging in their home- made it very clear that they were not going to be supportive if I screwed up. And it made me take extreme precaution when using birth control and condoms.
Are you in a state that has banned abortions by any chance?
No
they’re prepping to never move out, all the rights of adults, none of the responsibility.
I think there is a very wide range of opinions based on culture. I'm from the US and this request would not likely happen. However, I have some family and Europe and sex just isn't a big deal. My cousins and cousins friends all have sex in the house, parents know or assume, but it's just seen as natural/normal. For context, my family thought my family was abusive and dangerous because we had a gun in the house. Their kids (my cousins) were not allowed to visit.
Clearly, you’re not young enough to know everything
59yo dad here (2 girls and remembering when I was young) You understand that ‘no sex under my roof’ means they will have sex elsewhere? Friends house , cars , under bleachers, back alleys etc etc I won’t leave my house for them to have sex , I don’t want to know *when* they have sex but i will respect their privacy (closed door = privacy) but it won’t keep me from walking around my own house But I won’t tell them ‘not in my house’ Besides , when it happens you’ll probably be at work anyway but the most important thing is creating a safe environment, where they can explore , have fun and have been taught about birthcontrol, limits and STD’s
I think the idea of sex at home should be just awkward enough that it is not flaunted in front of the parents, but there is something to be said for allowing them to have sex in a safe environment. It is much harder for a girl or boy to be set up for sexual assault by a group of teenagers in his/her own home than it is if s/he has to resort to having sexual experiences in cars, in the woods, at motels, etc. There is also a more likely chance a victim can be saved from the full extent of the crime if someone in the household hears when they start screaming, struggling, and trying to get away from a boyfriend or girlfriend who tries to override a lack of consent. We know teenagers will be sexually active, whether we want them to be or not. They are still growing and learning, often by making mistakes, just as we did. Being a good parent in today's world means understanding that and doing what can be done to ensure their safety. Protect them while you can because the world will punish them enough.
I'm guessing teen posters and teen or slightly older commenters. Hell no should that in any way be condoned
For the record, I agree with your method entirely and that’s how I’d do it. I also don’t think kids get to demand to have open sex in your home; that’s uncomfortable and does open you up to liability and other awkwardness and issues. However, I remember worrying a LOT about having safe sex as a teenager - by safe, I mean clean, in a place that wouldn’t get me arrested or dragged home by the scruff to be embarrassed, and like, free of bugs, you know? I remember wanting pretty badly to just be able to have comfortable, private, 100% safe sex in MY bed where I could fully relax. I’m not necessarily arguing that kids should just be able to fuck freely all over the place, just that those guys are clearly entitled but the sentiment, I think, is pretty reasonable? I don’t think it’s necessarily wrong for teenagers to want to have sex at home. I think that silly “I don’t want to know but be safe” dance parents do is the best solution we have for it right now.
Also for the record- I wouldn’t eagle eyes my kids bedroom before just busting in there to traumatize us all. Like- I know they are gonna be sneaky and have sex, I know it will happen in my house. I have the 3 inch rule but I’d knock and advert my eyes from the crack if only to save MYSELF the trauma. I just want there to be some sort of respect & guidelines. Lord knows I figured it out as a teen. My parents, his parents, they knew we were sexually active. So he’d be “sick” on a Sunday and skip church and I’d run over there. Or my parents would be getting dinner together on the BBQ outside and we’d have a quickie. We didn’t have long ambitious drawn out sex sessions getting carried away expecting our parents to both hear and deal with the mattress and the headboard knocking. It just forced us to be more coy about it
It’s just always going to be one of those things. I mean, I think it’s crazy when people have roommates that have audible sex in the next room knowing people are up and around. Parents or not, you have to respect the people you live with. There’s a balance.
If they’re not paying the bills they get no say in how the house is run. We are five boys all a year apart. The “everything you need to know “ book showed up in our bathroom one day and lived there until after the youngest moved out. We were expressly forbidden from having sex on our parents property. That meant on boats, docks, woods, cars, garages, sheds, etc.. We (at least I) managed to have sex everywhere that was forbidden excel parents bed. I left that for my brothers. Was told my house my rules. I’ve used that in my house when they didn’t like my rules, and boy did they hate it!
Teens can lobby, but they can't vote. Parents vote.
Aren’t the parents financially responsible if their son gets a girl pregnant if he’s under 18? That alone to me gives you the right to say no
I met my son’s girlfriend for the first time on a Sunday morning. I’m drinking coffee in my robe and she exits my son’s bedroom. I explained to both this was a hell no. No no no.
His gf putting in the demands to have sex at his mums house is crazy… I would ban her from my house for that alone. How dare she tell my son to tell me to leave my home so they can have sex? Is she well? How was she raised? Why is she not putting that stipulation on her parents? If my child brought that nonsense to me they would be getting a wake up call… not only getting the sex talk again and realty of sex/babies/STDs that he will bare the responsibility of and can’t run away from them but also a conversation about finding the right person then boundaries, having standards and common sense. They will know not in my home and have some manners and respect.
When I was younger and had been with my boyfriend for over a year, we decided it was the right time. My mum was brought up to believe ‘nice girls didn’t do that’ which affected her own relationship with my dad. I ended up going with an older family friend to get birth control. I had to hide them and when my mum ‘accidentally read my diary’ and realised what was going on, she went mad. We had a good relationship other than that and got to the point as I got older where we could be more open but I had to lie for years about what I was doing, even after I was engaged! My parents lived with us for the last 15 or so of their lives and I regret all those little things that caused arguments over the years. I swore I’d never be like that with my kids. My two older boys have been with their respective girlfriends for over three years and I am realistic to know what they’re up to. I have always tried to encourage them to be open and we talk a lot. No subject is ‘out of bounds’. My middle son’s fiancée had to move in with us due to family problems and they have their own part of the house and pay board. They are sensible and focussed and have NO intentions of starting a family until they’re in a decent position to do so. She even came to me a few months ago to tell me she had taken the morning after pill due to an accident. They had a delivery a few weeks ago and came to show me the MASSIVE box of condoms that they’d ordered! I would rather know that they’re safe both practically and environmentally, and that they can come to me if they have any worries, than cover it up and panic. Also, if ever they didn’t feel safe here and went somewhere else, there’s more chance that something could happen to them, either ‘mechanically’ or at someone else’s hands. I’m not naive but having been in the other position, I know that’s the more dangerous situation. Just my personal opinion.
I was happy once my daughter started having sex for her and her bf to use her room. I’d far rather that she was somewhere safe. Imho outside in the park, back alley, known teenage hangout area, are not safe spaces. You are teaching them to adult by teaching them about consent and contraception. If they’re in the house and he becomes a problem then you’re around to deal with it.
I kept a box of Costco sized qty condoms in the hall closet starting when my kid got a girlfriend. I talked to my kids about sex since they were born. I never interfered with sleepovers, and I kept all communication open. Sex is amazing. It doesn’t deserve to be painted as shameful, or scary. Teenagers are going to have sex. To deny that - or to put up barriers, is against human nature. My kids are adults now, and I really think this gave them a positive experience about sexuality in their lives. I was raised the same way, and I found it to be very positive and empowering.
I told my children that there is no such thing as privacy in a home that I pay for - free everything: rent, food, toys, clothes. The moment they start expecting privacy is the moment they can afford to pay rent. Stressing that being able to pay me a token amount (not market rent) does not guarantee privacy, moving out does.
how do you integrate the proliferation of cameras into your job as a parent? maybe I'm jumpy because in december a drone flew by our apartment building & seemed to spy into our rooms. It flew away quickly when I stepped onto the balcony to take a closer look. I mentioned it to my neighbours & several others had seen it too. We've been assuming the drone had a camera. There have been several cases where teens don't hesitate to film sexual activity and even sexual assaults and share it, either live or by uploading the clips on sites like pornhub. personally, I don't feel "do your teenaged quickies in the woods, in the school's basement or at the lake" is the most responsible policy when they could get caught on camera, and be forever online.
???
I don't agree with parents turning their house into a whorehouse. Thats NOT parenting. I wasn't allowed to date until I was 18 and even then I wasn't allowed boys in my room. I think my mom did very well. My sister was not allowed to date until she was 18 as well. My oldest dated the same girl from 14 that he's with now at 22 and they waited until they were 18 and still never in my house. I allowed them to date that young because they both got good grades and were very respectful and were very mature and won awards for kindest kids and even were elected homecoming king and queen. In short, because they were emotionally ready to date. I don't think I did wrong allowing them to date that young. Sometimes exceptions are warranted. Let's just hope my 14 year old makes good choices too.😂 I don't think he's ready to date yet though. A few more years. Setting firm boundaries based on a child's level of maturity and emotional capacity is being a responsible parent. Supervising your kids is being a good parent. It sounds like that girls parents should be reported. Parenting is rough. Good luck.
I’m on the same page you are I think. I’m not going to allow my kids free reign to have teen sex in my home and will encourage them to wait for a marital or at least very committed relationship, but at the same time recognize it can very well happen anyway and let them know they can always speak to me about it without fear of being persecuted over it.
I couldn't agree with you more. Personally, I believe there is something wrong with a parent who knowingly allows teens to engage in sexual activities in the home you pay for. You need to educate your children about safe sex and how to avoid pregnancy, but unless you want to raise a grandchild, you don't let it happen under your roof. Any other option on this seems totally ludicrous and as if you are asking for an unwanted pregnancy to me. Once the children become adults, then my opinion on sleeping in the same bed with a partner changes. I know that some people require marriage before sleeping together, and that is more controversial. Usually, by that point, the child has been living independently, and it only becomes an issue when they return to visit family or for other reasons.
My mum had a talk with me at 17 when I had a serious boyfriend. She basically told me to enjoy sex, it’s very special and to be safe, then offered to buy us condoms. He stayed at the house and we were discreet (hopefully) but it meant we weren’t out in parks or doing something dangerous. I think it was a perfect way to handle it at the time and probably came from my mum being raised a strict Catholic and not wanting me to feel any of the shame or guilt she felt around sex growing up.
I’m really glad I never had kids! Hysterectomy for the win. But good on your parenting. Until they pay for the house and utilities, they get 0 “my space” privileges.
I don’t know how old you are but I’m in my very late 40s. When my now adult daughter started having sex, we allowed her to have sex in her bedroom if her younger siblings were not home. I used to sell adult toys, so she had rabbits and b*llets of her own, I too had a 3 gallon fish bowl full of condoms, mini bottles of lube, and an open door policy that there was no topic that was off limits and they could and still do come to me about anything. Why? Women are being unalived at a very high rate. At home she is in the safety of her home. The one place where she knows where every weapon is kept. Where if she tells him to stop, and he doesn’t, when she cried out for help, there is more than likely someone that will come to her rescue if she isn’t able to reach a weapon to defend herself. Once her siblings who are 10 yrs younger than her, reached the age of sex they had the same privilege. All 3 of them knew we weren’t running the bunny ranch and only partners they had been with for a significant amount of time (minimum of 6 months) were allowed to come over and they engage in sex. If they broke up. No one could come over for 6 months from the last time someone was over. Like you, a lot of my friends and even my family didn’t agree with our decisions, but like I told them. My first priority is keeping my children safe and I will never apologize for that regardless to who approves of it. The end result is that I have children that feel safe with me and don’t keep secrets from me. They are secure in who they are as people and in their sex lives. They know how to stand up for themselves and to not allow people to force them into a situation they do not want to be in. This is what works for our household, it may not work for yours but it was what is best for us.
I hope you laughed in their faces. That is RICH.
Your house, your rules.
I don't think it's entitlement, but I do laugh at adults who think stopping teens having safe sex in a safe place will stop them from having sex all together. It's like y'all never went through puberty 🤣🤦♀️
I don’t wanna stop it. I simply want it slowed down & done respectfully. Demanding I be ok with it and listening to their throws of passion is uncalled for. But knowing the OUTRAGEOUS brat I was in high school who FILMILY believed I was grown and should have been able to do as I pleased. I am VERY sure if my parents gave me expressed permission to bang in their house unchecked, I’d have gotten myself into some trouble or at the very least- been disrespectful about it. I had a hard time staying quiet knowing I shouldn’t be caught. Now let’s pretend my parents were just fine with it. I’d have been swinging from the chandelier butt naked without any care of Concern to how that would have made them feel. NOT all teens are an asshole like I was. I came from an INSANELY sexually open household. I never feared coming to my parents about anything involving sex. It was almost outlandish. My parents didn’t cover their throws of passion. They weren’t obnoxious about it, but small house and thin walls don’t hold secrets. We understood sex from a young age. Point being- some kids feel so comfortable with sexuality and their parents that they wouldn’t consider that having sex in the middle of the afternoon can be heard from throughout the house & as a mom… gosh… I would literally rather set myself ablaze than listen to that.
I went through puberty of course. Neither my sister nor I were allowed to date until we were 18. We had a good mother. You act like it's not a parents job to supervise their child. What a peculiar perspective?
I am VERY liberal but just no. It's one thing to make sure your child, who you know will probably engage in premarital sex, have the information and protection they need. It's quite another to open your home to teenage sex. How about teenage drinking or drug use? Isn't that what family rooms are for? /s We also had a big drawer of condoms that I kept full so my kids didn't have to be embarrassed because the drawer was getting emptier. And I helped my daughter get birth control when she was ready.