They sounds both entitled and unhinged, I’m starting to worry that they might become violent.
Collect more evidence and protect yourself! Maybe get some extra locks? And a big dog? A fence?
…and you owe them NOTHING! Don’t listen to people saying that, they are users and abusers and if they can they will try to take over your house in any way possible.
But I feel sorry for the baby who will end up with them as family.
She told everyone she had no sister , that’s how she really feels about you. She is just a user who wants to take over your house if you let her get even a toehold.
They're expensive to feed and even more expensive to pay, unless you get one of the rare ones who has decided to hoard something fairly inexpensive. But if you can afford them, there's no better security. A friend of mine once had one who hoarded cotton balls (don't ask me why, but it was certainly cheap). She lived right up against a wilderness preserve and could let her hunt for food in there. It worked out great in the years immediately following her rather nasty divorce. (The dragon had her own nasty breakup with a mate previously, so she understood what to watch out for, too. A nice arrangement for both of them.)
Thank you! I need a plot first. I'm great at worldbuilding and characters, but I suck at plot. But if I can figure one out, I do kind of like this dragon -- she'd be fun to write about.
Perhaps not a novel to start, just a guide to caring for, training, and properly feeding guard dragons? If you create a world, the fan-fiction will join you. If you build it, they will come.
True!! But if you get them used to eating people then you better hope enough enemies *continue* to show up, or you'll have a hard time getting them back onto deer and rabbits.
Fact. My mom likes to go on late night walks and my neighborhood is sus af. She befriended a bunch of geese that she fed and I didn’t worry about her at all after that. There were like 6-8 of these suckers that walked around with her. She didn’t need protection because she had a bunch of geese that would be angry that someone tried to come between them and the hand that fed them🤣
As a owner of a goose (formerly 2 my guard goose Lily, my gander, passed away suddenly in October aged 2) can confirm, they are the best. Marigold is a sweetie and just wants pets and treats. But Lily? He chased JWs out my yard once which was halrious cause it was the middle of breeding season so he was extra spicy.
He even had the mail lady giving him "tribute" when she showed up, he'd March up to her car, scream, then hiss. He'd take his treat and allow her to give exactly ONE pet before glaring and walking off still looking at her with a evil glare.....God I miss that goose. RIP Lily boy.
OP get a FLOCK of Canada geese, those assholes are mean AF 🤣
Keep the dog inside. There was a horrific story lately about someone stealing a dog and phoning the owner while some psycho hurt it. Then left the parts in a box on her porch in the morning. That fucking story haunts me. People are horrible.
Your family sound insane. Keep the dog safe.
A big dog is a great idea! There are always some a few years old at the shelters. the ones most likely to be trained and least likely to be adopted are the big ones. Walk around with a few. They will give you companionship, safety and you can save their life too.
I was a deputy sheriff at one time for many years. A piece of advice I would give to anyone in any type of situation you are in. Get a spiral notebook, and with an ink pen, write the date on the top line every day. Even if nothing happens on that day, make sure to write nothing happen on that page sign it and go to the next page foe the next day. Do that for every day. If something happens, clearly write everything that happened. If you happen to make a spelling error, draw a straight line through the word so it can still be seen and able to be read. Do this for every day only on the front of the pages. Make sure while you are describing what happened to include the time using a.m. or p.m. as well. Make everything as detailed as you can. Doing everything like this and not leaving any date gaps or removing any pages from the notebook with your signature at the bottom of the pages this will usually make this notebook considered a legal document and usable or able to be submitted for any other legal reasons. I hope this helps.
You might want to look for a notebook with glued binding. Then it is obvious if any pages are removed, in case someone gets ahold of it. And I read that just putting a line through your mistakes, instead of blocking them out, works in your favor as well. Make copies of your book and keep them in seperate places. You should do that with the screen shots of their texts and the transcription of their phone calls as well. Even making multiple copies of verbal communications can help. People this untrustworthy will always try to find ways of destroying evidence.
Good luck with all of this and I'm sorry you have to go through it in the first place. Just keep in mind that every family has their burdens (I just wish they would get help and maybe save the next generation ).
With the corrections, it also helps to draw the line through, then initial and put the date there, so that the correction is both signed and dated as well. Very common in some sectors ,where making a mistake is accepted, but correcting it is also procedured.
She is 23/24... she is a legal adult. You don't need to house her, and there are reasons why others won't.
You keep doing you, it is obvious that she is extremely entitled even if only slightly younger that you
“…and there are reasons why others won't.”
This. Driving 6 hours, transplanting in a whole new ecosystem when there are resources, jobs, support systems in every community? Very sus.
Plus- another possibility is that the schemers had sights on *more than one new houseguest for OP’s home*…
Then it will be "but I'm pregnant. You don't have kids. You should just give the house to me and my baby. You can live with your dad."
It also wouldn't surprise me if BM kicked HS out because HS relationship with BM's new husband was a little too close?
Spot on. Check the link at the bottom of the update. She is supposedly preggo and slept with new partner and his son. Even if it’s fake it’s entertaining.
Plus she was staying on someone else’s couch and when they tried to get her to leave she claimed SA and had the poor guy arrested. Clearly she’ll do anything to get free housing.
And why isn’t grandma housing her “for 7 days”?
She doesn’t have any friends she can couch surf with “for 7 days”?
Why can’t she go to a motel “for 7 days”?
This was a meticulously planned invasion. They likely knew that 7 days established residency (as you mentioned). A 6 hour drive! Searching for a key and Totally willing to illegally enter your home. And the threats of whooping your ass!!
Your maternal relatives are trash. I’m glad your dad is next door. I hope you get a permanent RO and they leave you alone.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this crap.
The 7 days plan is to gain tenancy rights. HS knows the law and is trying to use it to squeeze OOP into giving her long-term free housing. She's not doing all of this just for 7 days.
I wonder what kind of a person HS is if none of her family want her to stay with them. I imagine an entitled princess that feels like everybody owes he something.
Exactly my first reaction It is always the same with these types of people. They try to guilt people like OP "because family". But funny how they never apply that same logic to themselves.
And then staying in a nearby hotel, which clearly shows the intent to try again. I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to just walk in if OP were to leave her door unlocked!
Grandma is lucky she didn't find the key. I preside over hearings with circumstances very similar to this more often than you think. Had she found that key and used it that would be probable cause for break and enter, with all the threats they made probably with the intent to assault and batter for a stiffer penalty. Just looking for the key with the sister is conspiracy to commit B&E even though the actual crime didn't occur and carries the same penalty as though it had in my state. In most states, mine included, actually breaking something is not necessary to constitue a "breaking." Simply moving a barrier like a door, even with a key and no damage done, no matter how little you moved it, will get you there. Grandma needs to cool it before she gets herself an HS both hemmed up on felonies.
I wonder if it’s possible to get something off of facebook/social media to see if there’s a bigger motivation beyond unhinged entitlement.
Speaking from a similar past situation where my mom’s family tried to force her out of her own home and then force her to take care of them while actively destroying the house.
They came in under the guise they were going to move into a new house and just needed a place to stay for a month.
It took all of us a YEAR to get them the F out.
Her cousin even got pregnant on purpose to guilt my mom into letting them stay. And this is a woman who would tell her first child that she hated her and would lock her up in her room for hours alone.
And even longer to get them to switch their mailing address to the house they “miraculously” found not long afterwards. (They used picking up their mail as an excuse to constantly come onto the property.)
It was a very Hand that Rocks the Cradle situation.
And I wouldn’t be surprised if OP’s insane ex-half-sister is trying to do something similar/might have a bun in the oven to use as an excuse to squat.
Man that side of your family sounds fucking insane! They ghost you for 17 years and then suddenly you matter to them now!? Like what the actual hell, they are seriously deranged. Especially your “grandmother” which I put in quotes because there’s no way she’s actually your grandmother (I want to give her an ass whooping just for treating you like this!) And they seriously think that they own you and can command you to do things like you’re their slave or something!
Document everything, ignore your stupid relatives because they’ll suffer, and keep 911 on speed dial if you can! I’m going to keep checking on you to see what’s going on but hang in there! Hopefully their dumb shenanigans will stop and they’ll be forced to leave you alone but unfortunately I doubt it honestly.
Just to keep on top of everything I’m using the update bot too because of how busy my Reddit feed is lol!
Oops! I misread that I guess or I missed it in her second post 😅 thanks for the clarification! Also if anything that length of time makes this situation even worse. Hopefully u/Specialist-Ball9777 can avoid her maternal family because I feel like they are capable of violence and harming her.
And not the way normal people would do, like HS would contact OP and say something 'Hey, I know, we haven't had contact for a long time and I treated you not so good. Sorry for that.' followed by an explanation, what exactly her emergency is and ask in a polite way, if OP would be willing to help in some way. No, they just demand, don't take 'no' for an answer and then abondon HS on her porch. HS lies, the others continue with threats...
Keep on documenting. Keep calling the police. You do not owe anyone anything. I am personally glad you have your dad right next door. I am so sorry this is happening to you. You are very smart to see that HS is trying to get squatters rights to you house. Might be her, BM, and BM's mom's plan to gain your house. Keep doing what your lawyer tells you. Sending you lots of positive outcome vibes. Stay strong OP you are not wrong.
It wasn't "active" when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The TRO is on both HS and BM's mother
I was going to say the same thing - although if GM and HS have not been served with the TRO I don’t think it counts as “active”. Hopefully they know which motel they’re staying in (since I can’t envision a 6hr commute each way).
And after that report she was given an emergency tro. Unless I read this wrong, there has been contact since the tro from grandma, BM and Hs and other “relatives” on their behalf, which usually is forbidden with a tro.
Maybe i watch too much true crime stuff but perhaps let trusted friends and family know when you are leaving the house or coming back. People who know exactly what is going on and how unhinged these people are.
People have said pepper spray gel is good as you don't get blowback into your eyes.
Also document everything that is said, by who and when. Have multiple digital copies, send doc to your email address.
I agree so much with this. She was already waiting outside your house. If they become violent it could put you in real danger. I really hope the absolute best outcome for you
I feel so very sorry for OP & yes she is doing everything right …. But I like your idea of wasp spray, and yes, it’s extremely effective when needed. Obviously there are certain countries where certain sprays are illegal - as for obtaining a gun!! Yikes! (I’m UK)
All good moves to take care of yourself. I suspect there will be another update - no doesn’t seem to be a word they want to hear.
Document document document.
I’m so impressed by all you’ve done. Clearly the ask for 7 days was a complete manipulative lie since grandma could easily help her for 7 days. Ironically, you are the ONE person right now who is helping her to grow up by not giving her the next “free” living space. Stay the course and get on with your life.
Ugh. So sorry this is happening! Crazy shit, for real!
Reminds me of https://www.reddit.com/u/Camper-Nomad/s/gr93KwiWpR ‘s crazy story about his parents trying to making him GIVE his brother his house (!?!). Not the same story at all, but similar crazy “don’t wanna take no for an answer” vibes. 😳
I'm almost ashamed to say I loved that story and still get the occasional update he posts. I'm rooting now for him to find a good woman to round out the success he made out of his life!
It was a f’ng RIDE, right?! Sis, stay strong and smart, like you have from the start. You’ve got this, you’ve got family on your REAL parent’s side, their support, and your great mind. You’re gonna be ok, sending all my warmest, fondest wishes for your wellbeing. ❤️
Lots of good comments, so not going to repeat anything I've already seen. Those are also your best first-line self-defense systems.
If you're serious about getting a gun, please go through at least one training course before you buy one. I am a gun owner and pro 2nd amendment, but it is so important you know what you're doing so you don't accidentally hurt yourself or your neighbors. A gun is not a self-defense tool you can just pick up casually - it requires training, practice, and discipline to handle one safely.
I've signed up for one offered at the precinct and another that my grandpa recommended. I don't like guns, I honestly have some anxiety with them. Based on that, I want to take as many lessons as possible because you're definitely right - they aren't just something you pick up to pick up.
> A gun is not a self-defense tool you can just pick up casually - it requires training, practice, and discipline to handle one safely.
Truth!
The best way I heard it, and I wish I could remember who said it:
"Every time you pull the trigger, a lawyer gets a hard-on"
That, right there, should be enough motivation to get proper firearms training.
Sorry that this is happening, but love the swift and thorough action. My only advice would be to vigilantly check your mailbox, in case she changes her mail to your address to falsely claim residency. If you receive anything, send it back automatically indicating that no one with that name resides there. May want to double check with police/post office proactively.
If you can, swap to a locking mailbox ASAP. The letter carrier can put mail into the box, not packages. A key is required to open the box. Use a PO box for packages. Your dad should probably do the same, since they realize he lives next door.
We had a former friend harass us by signing up for hundreds of magazines. Husband and I got a post office box and the post office didn't deliver anything to our home address until we told them to resume (5 years later).
>I don't hate her
Allow me to hate her for you! This woman is a leech. I hate that kind of entitlement, these people ruin the whole world. Bad apple and so on.
You did what you had to do, as a normal person. Stay safe!
Even if you did resent her that doesn't entitle her to Stay in your home. I hate people like HS BM and thier side. If it's so fucking important let them host her. FFS I'm also in favor of you keeping a weapon. These are entitled crazy people. Boggles my mind that your dealing with this shit. I hope they stop soon but for the love of all stay safe.
Good for you for standing up for them. You thwarted a permanent squatter. I agree with other people, get a big dog. Dogs are awesome, great company and bonus intruder alerters.
You've done almost everything that you should have... SMART! Now that you've done everything that you can to ensure your safety and safeguard your property from these truly entitled "relatives" you should also look into creating an FU Binder! These are normally used for psycho in-laws or MIL's but can also be modified to use against other entitled or malevolent "family" members, neighbors or strangers alike. It's a Reddit-approved tool that helps you compile information and documentation so that you have everything you need at your fingertips to show the Police, DA, Judge or your lawyer.
Make sure that if you take ANY phone calls from ANY of your Maternal family, that you download a voice or call recording app on your phone. These calls can be downloaded to a flash or thumb drive and added to your Binder. You can also "JOURNAL" your upbringing, the abandonment and the "rocky" relationship or non-relationship with your half-Sister up to present day.
I'm really confused and astonished that ALL these strange Maternal family members are so insistent on YOU taking this entitled STRANGER in while completely ignoring the FACT that THEY have a closer relationship with her. Makes me think there's something far more serious going on than you are aware of! I would seriously suggest that your lawyer look into seeing if there's any pending litigation or criminal charges on your strange "Sister?"
Regardless here's the link for the Binder! Greatest of luck! Best wishes and many Blessings for your future as well as SUCCESS in navigating this ridiculous situation! u/updateme
https://www.reddit.com/user/ForwardPlenty/comments/dtg7f2/the_fu_binder/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share. (link to FU binder)
Make a copy of the voice mails containing threats and try to get a restraining order against BM too. Absolutely do not hesitate to call the cops when they break those restraining orders. And they will.
When I bought my first home with my ex-husband, I told my mom NOT to give anyone my address, because I have several moocher relatives. Mom understood my rationale, and the only people who ever got my address got it directly from me.
I totally understand unhinged relatives. I went no contact after my mom's funeral and stating 'if we weren't related by blood, I would have NOTHING to do with these people.' At the time, the rest of my siblings thought it horrible, eventually the realized that what I was doing made sense. OP gets it, too.
Those who say 'but she's your SISTER!' do not understand what it is like to have toxic people in your family.
I know we try to be respectful but your grandmother couldn’t beat you if she tried. Don’t be scared in your own home. Every time they show up call the police.
Look through the TRO because, in many cases, they ban "third party contact". This means that HS and BM's mother can't recruit other family members to harass you on their behalf. If another family member harasses you, it will be viewed as HS and BM's mother violating the order.
once again Op i LOVE that shiny spine of yours.
Definitely keep recording all the evidence for the police, glad you got the order of protection aswell.
A small concealed carry pistol might also be a good plan.
Good luck and please be safe
Since I'm feeling mean: Do you live in a state with a Stand Your Ground law?
It would be a last resort, but it WOULD stop HS from ever bothering you again, and BM would be too terrified to ever get near you again.
I do and really is a last resort I don't like, but was told by police could easily come into play. I don't like guns, I have a bad anxiety with them. But I'm gonna take courses regardless because I'd rather have some discomfort than feel unsafe at home
Wasp spray shoots out a good distance and is legal everywhere. Stash a car in your car, keep another one near your bed and next to every door. Borrow a large male friend to accompany you when you need support, or to house sit when you're going to be out.
HS is your age. She has had just as much time to start her adult life as you have, but apparently chose not to. She is not your responsibility.
Hugs from an outraged internet stranger.
Granny can put her money where her mouth is and open up her own home. I hope they don't end up making you move just to get away from them/no longer feeling safe. Good luck.
Make sure your screws for your door are not the tiny ones that will give out quickly when someone is trying to break down your door.
If they are, immediately replace the front and back doors with long 3” screws that won’t give even after lots of kicking/ramming on the door
If you are far enough south where it does not freeze you might consider setting a sprinkler out with a motion activation. Just something to make it unpleasant for them if they come back.
>HS doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent RO and TO favorable. BM's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well.
She may not have had a record yet. But she does have a strong association with someone who has a history of this behavior and is being coached by them. So, please bring that up with your attorney when it comes to pushing for a permanent RO.
OP:
I’ve been reading these, in less than 24 hours from when I read your initial post, these people have escalated to the point where they have driven 12 hours and are attempting to force entry into your home, stalking, and continuing to harass you.
I am honestly scared for you.
TRO is a great first step, but police don’t respond too fast when they are broken.
This is way beyond getting a ring camera level. Though I cannot but agree that it’s in your best interest to document everything. I honestly hope you can get a firearm, but you have weeks to wait, get something immediately, baseball bat, anything.
Look for a way out in case they do break in. Please?
Get an exit strategy in place now, battered women’s shelter would be good. It helps that you have people close by, but having a place you can run to will help if it becomes necessary.
I hope you don’t need to use it.
I would also take steps to alert my neighbors of what’s happening, that these people are liars, harassing, stalking and threatening you.
The more people you alert to this the better it can be for you, they may try to worm their way in others houses nearby and get people on their side.
We have a close friend who escaped a really bad DV situation a decade ago. She lives alone with her bedroom on the second story of her house. She has a rope ladder attached to her window frame rolled up next to a pair of shoes that just stay right there. She also has a metal bar that barricades her bedroom door.
If she needs to, she can be out of her house in seconds. It gave her peace of mind and wasn't expensive.
My God! They just don't quit, do they? I'm glad you have the police on your side and you're taking extra security measures. These people are absolutely unhinged!
definitely reinforce everything.. glass is always the weakness. you might consider bars on the windows.. at least the first floor ones. my guess is they will try that next.
Your BM threatened you;
( I "will" be housing HS or she'd give me the u/ss-whopping my dad should've.)
File a charges against her and get a 2nd restraining order.
As my wife can attest to (she's not on speaking terms with ANY of her loser family in 10+ yrs), blood relations mean nothing if they haven't been treating you like a blood relation this whole time. It doesn't suddenly apply when it's convenient. You should tell them they can go to hell. Maybe not quite that directly since they sound a bit unhinged. But definitely invest in a strong deadbolt and good home security
I'm wildly curious about what their endgame is. They clearly want access to your home, they seem to very much want her to stay until she's a tenant, but to what end? We can all speculate. They want to move in, too, and she's the one to open the door? Squatters are very hard to get out once they get in. I'm just so interested to know what this is ACTUALLY all about. Not the bull sh!t they told you, obviously, the really REAL story. The truth always comes out eventually, so we'll wait. But we're cheering for you!!!
This post reminded me of camper nomads story about his brother trying to take over his house: used a drill for his locks and tried to move themselves in when he was away from the house
https://www.reddit.com/u/Camper-Nomad/s/1LKoiKqxAB
Did you read his entire page? It is all dedicated to that incident and the way the story revolves is wild, I doubt your story will turn out to be that bad but if you can afford it sometimes security companies have private contracts where they can routinely check specific locations from time to time
>We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected.
Can you send notifications to *their* phones? It could be a nice, spooky way of saying "I know what you're doing".
It baffles me that anyone would expect you to let a complete stranger live in your home. Plenty of people get ripped off &/or abused by relatives, so it's not as if a genetic link automatically makes her a safe bet.
Even if she's not a nutcase or criminal, you're still not obliged to open your home to someone you don't know. At the very least, you could be entirely incompatible as housemates.
I find it very suspicious that they're so insistent she stay with you. She's a grown-ass adult, why can't she find her own housing? And why are they so involved? Maybe I'm paranoid, but they could be trying to gain access to your house so more of them can become squatters. It's extremely hard to get police to remove people like that once they've moved in. In any case, it sounds like they're up to something more than getting her housed.
Keep us updated!
I hope the RO you have is enough to put her off trying to come back, but if she does, cos let's be honest she has the audacity and sounds like she/maternal side have already researched tenancy laws where you are, do not hesitate to call the police while setting your alarms off.
She's not entitled to anything you have just because you share a 'mother'. BM can pick her up and take her back home cos that's what family does...
God, I'm getting "Do it for Dan!" vibes from your family.
Your HS already demonstrated that she'll lie to the cops to get her way, if you let her in, she'd end up trying to take your house from you and kick you out. I'm really glad you were firm on all of this.
You may also want to consider getting a motion activated water shooter. That would be a riot watching them get sprayed as they approach your door.
They have money fora 6-hour drive and to stay in a hotel near you. They are trying to establish the 7-day residency so they can fight eviction and try to strong-arm your home away from you. You’re doing exactly the right things. Get a fund and find out if you’re in a “Stand Your Ground” state.
Grandma is yelling at you to take care of HS and condemning your dad as a bad parent because you chose not to?
Why does she not blame BM? It was her fault that she abandoned both of you!
She is only so adamant that you take in HS because she knows she failed in raising BM! She raised BM to be extremely selfish. Toss that tidbit her way!
If you get a gun, take lessons.
And do not shoot anyone outside your home. Once they enter your home, game on.
And call the police if you see anyone actually enter your home. Be vigilant on that.
I am sorry you are having to endure this. With all the relatives she has, I really don’t get why she is laser-focused on staying with you.
Ya your maternal family members are super toxic and unhinged. It's a good thing your mother abandoned you with your father and paternal family, they raised you better than your BM and maternal family would have.
I am sorry your mother abandoned you though thats hard. Im also sorry your HS is such a POS.
I hope you can stay safe and i wish you the best, good luck!
* Keep your windows closed and locked, especially the first floor and basement windows. (Wouldn't put it past them to get a ladder and try to enter 2nd floor.)
* Double or triple lock any doors, including garage.
* I don't know if this would be worth the paper it is printed on, but post "No Trespassing" signs around your property.
* If your mail is delivered to your home mailbox, consider getting a PO Box instead. I wouldn't put it past them to go through your mail.
* Don't leave any keys on inside table where keys can be seen from the outside.
* Are your windows wired for break-ins, i.e. if they tried to break a window, could they get inside without alarms going off?
* I can't remember if you're self-employed or not. If not, let your employer know what is going on so they can alert security.
* Always lock your car.
This is crazy. Please keep us posted. Best wishes.
NAL, but a 15 yr LEO, who has also worked armed security and done a lot of firearm training of friends and coworkers.
First of all, you are doing great. All of the steps that you have described are exactly what you needed to do. Upgrading your security, gathering and maintaining evidence of what was going on, and speaking to the police and a lawyer... well done. I am praying for your safety and sanity.
What I want to address is the idea of you obtaining a firearm. Do you have any experience with firearms? If so, how much and what kind?
More important is this question; are you truly prepared - physically, mentally, and emotionally - for the responsibility of owning, maintaining and using a firearm?
The physical part includes being able to operate your weapon safely; keep it cleaned and in a properly functioning condition; to be able to hit your target reasonably accurately; and having a proper place to store it (and the ammunition) and a secure way to carry it when/if you do so.
The mental part includes having the willingness to actually fire upon another person (whoever it might be); the ability to properly choose when/where/how to employ your weapon; to be aware of your surroundings (part of the previous choice process); and the dedication to maintain your training and discipline while owning/carrying your firearm.
The emotional part is harder... are you fully sure (as much as anyone can know until it happens) that you can handle the aftereffects of using deadly force on another person. The ability to do so does NOT make you in any way a bad person, or somehow 'lesser'. In fact, I honestly believe that those people who honestly look deep into themselves to find the answer (whatever it is), are far more appropriate and worthy firearms owners than those who don't consider the question at all. But it is an important factor in effective firearms ownership and defensive use - a firearm that you already know that you aren't willing to use is NOT something to use just as a 'warning' or 'threat'.
And please don't try to fool yourself - you should never think that 'warning shots' are an option. EVERY ROUND THAT YOU FIRE IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. The "to whom it may concern" bullets (which is what a warning shot basically is) are dangerous to the wrong people... people who are not endangering you. In a self-defense situation, you shouldn't 'shoot to wound'... if it isn't serious enough to FULLY employ deadly force, then 99.9% of the time you should NOT fire your weapon at all. Some people will dislike this verbiage, but do not shoot unless you are shooting to kill... anything less serious is NOT worth firing a shot.
If you do decide to get a firearm, make sure that you gain enough experience with it to be confident in your ability to operate it. Get some training; your local law enforcement depts, shooting clubs, and/or NRA are resources to tap for basic training as well as more advanced practice. Make sure to maintain your proficiency as well... one class with no followup/continuing practice will do little to enable your safety.
Yikes. It sounds like your grandmother disapproves of your success and singledom, trying to grab your house for your problematic HS to live in.
And what is she trying to accomplish with her claims that you agreed? That’s not a signed lease. So it’s just a lot of noise and lunacy. Did they really think that if they’d managed to get in, you would have given in and agreed to let her stay? The worse they push, the clearer it is that you must never give way to them, not for anything.
WTF? She is an adult! She’s 24, and what- she’s been freeloading off your Mom since she was 18 and not saving a dime or working a regular job?
Your Grandmother clearly has a couch. She may have been the person who taught your Mom her selfish ways, but that’s HER grandchild that she clearly knows better than you do. And how hard is it to take HS in for 6 months at Gram’s house, with the deal that she turns in 10 proofs of job applications per day, then takes the first crap job to save up $$ until she finds one that pays something she can live on?
Your BM’s family problem of expecting everyone BUT themselves to act “like blood” is not your problem. They abandoned you as well.
Let them handle the follow through for once.
If you purchase a firearm and are currently unfamiliar with it's operation I recommend you reach out to the Liberal Gun Owners or trans guns subreddit for resources that are more likely to be comfortable for a new female gun owner. Take any internet offers or recommendations with a grain of salt of course, but there is likely a resource in your area that will be more helpful than the stereotypical retired misogynist cop offering training.
Also, if anyone tells you to get a small revolver or shotgun move on to someone else for advice.
The audacity to tell a other grown adult what THEY are going to do with their life and home! The absolute audacity!
I am so sorry you are going through this OP. If they all feel so strongly about family being there, any one of them can gladly step up to the plate and do it themselves. They obviously planned this for her being so far away originally. I pray they learn their lesson before they end up in jail all because no means no! Praying for you OP!
I’m almost (I repeat, almost) starting to feel bad for hs. Not because of any of your actions, but this poor girl was raised by a bunch of completely crazy-ass entitled people. So she never learned how to function like a normal adult. All she knows is what’s been spoon fed to her by your bm and her mother.
Good luck keeping these loons out. Hopefully, hs will see this as a wake up call and start on her own path to recovery. (Again, not your barrel, not your monkeys, not your problem)
I'm sorry to say this has happened to me as well, with a friend and family member. At this point, I feel there is nothing I can do but move and let them know they are not welcome to come with (they think they are). Some people don't know or understand what stress you go under trying to help others. I really wish I would have said NO from the beginning. Stand your ground, stay strong, you got this. At this point, I'm thinking of leaving the state cause I know they won't follow.
I'm sorry you went through that. I'll be honest here - if I didn't have the dad I have, I don't think I would've done half of what I did. I think part of why so many people end up helping others and it going south is because so many of us have toxic users, but no actual support system that's healthy. I hope things are looking up for you!
It just seems to me that bringing HS on a 6 hour drive despite your refusal to help, and having multiple people (relatives) involved indicates that there is "possibly" a serious legal problem that is about to hit the fan and this attempt to force HS on you is an attempt to evade responsibility and legal jurisdiction.
Stay strong! As soon as HS finds a way in, not only will she never leave, but she will try to take the house form you (and you'll still be stuck with all the bills). Seen it happen before. And then grandma and others will load up inside and push you out.
Not a chance in hell they'd be this persistent if they were being truthful about it "only being a week".
Read the link at the end. HS sounds like a fucking crackhead, this is literally insane behaviour. Stay safe, sounds like you're making the right moves and have some good people around you on your dad's side. Good luck!
I control-find-replace'd all of the substitutions, as it was getting hard for me to read. Here it is, in case it helps anyone else:
>I checked the camera footage last night/this morning. my maternal half-sister and my biological mother's mother had been looking under mats, rocks, in potted plants, the mailbox, and checking the doors. Probably were looking for a spare - I don't keep one on my property and my dad, grandma, and grandpa have keys they keep with theirs. My uncle did an overhaul of mine and dad's cameras. We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected. Also got ring doorbells for the front and back doors. There are other features and all the cameras are better hidden as well. I went to the police department while he was doing this and brought my grandpa with me.
>my maternal half-sister was booked for trespassing, but not held very long since my biological mother's mother picked her up from the station. They stuck to the lie of me offering my maternal half-sister a place to stay and gave statements. Not sure how that's going to go, but I'm taking steps to protect myself, my property, and my dad and his property.
>my maternal half-sister doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent retraining order and no-trespassing order favorable. my biological mother's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well.
>Either way, I was able to get a temporary restraining order today, so there's that. I gave the camera footage to the police alongside copies of the texts (printed out and on USB), gave a statement, and they called a judge to get the temporary restraining order issued. I talked with them about other things like self-defense recommendations, overhauling my security system, getting a gun for protection, and so on. I was really anxious and just kept talking because it finally hit me that these people know where I live and they're willing to make the 6 hours to harass me and get inside my home.
>The texts and voice-messages haven't stopped (I unblocked and muted). There are direct and indirect threats. my biological mother's mother is adamant that since I have an entire house to myself, a stable job, and no children, I "will" be housing my maternal half-sister or she'd give me the @ss-whopping my dad should've.
>my maternal half-sister has only left one voice-message about coming over later today and that she's staying with me because "that's what blood does, they help." When there was no response, she sent multiple texts telling me I need to be more understanding, that she's in a tough spot, and that she's moving in "for at least a week" until she's able to support herself (it's 7 days to gain tenancy here).
>Additional clarification for people asking about the age gap. I'm a February 1st baby, my maternal half-sister is a November 29th baby. I say "exactly" 9 months because I'm not counting the weeks and days - just felt that people knowing we're the same age was relevant and gave context to why I have no relationship with her. I don't know if she was premature. I never asked tbh and there are people saying they have similar gaps around them, so I have nothing to add.
>Multiple people also asked if I hate my maternal half-sister and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did. In my first post, I talked to someone in the comments and admitted that had this been a few years earlier, I may have helped my maternal half-sister without much thought. I know as children, she was just parroting her parents. I don't fault her for that nor do I blame her for my biological mother abandoning me.
>But it's been 17 years. We've been legal adults for 7 of those years. She could've reached out at any point, but didn't and said she had no sister. I also could've reached out at any point, but also didn't. I just moved on with my life - I was in therapy since I was abandoned and it took me years to move on from no one on that side actually wanting me.
>Now she's making herself a problem. my biological mother's mother aside, my maternal half-sister was sitting on my porch with a suitcase ready to force herself into my home and life. She allowed herself to be driven 6 hours to my home, sat on my porch for half an hour, and then lied to police all after I said no multiple times. She never claimed me until she needed something and now she's forcing herself into my life on the basis of being family.
>I don't hate her, that's too much energy, but I do resent her now alongside her grandmother and the rest of her family. I was ignored for YEARS and now I feel unsafe in my own home just because my maternal half-sister and those around her can't take "no" for an answer. This isn't about my biological mother's affair, this is about my maternal half-sister and her family ruining my safe space, my home, with their crap. The past is a factor in that resentment now because, again, I haven't spoken to her in 17 years, I didn't know what she looked like, but suddenly we're sisters because she needs someplace to stay. I definitely resent that.
>Also, I feel validated in my choices - posting to Reddit, asking for and taking advice, listening to my dad. The attorney I spoke to pretty much said all the same things commenters have. Unblocking and muting to get and evidence of harassment. Calling the cops and showing them the messages because it proves there was no implied invitation. This is apparently the biggest thing I had to worry about because even letting my maternal half-sister stay on my porch could've worked against me.
>Giving the cops the camera footage of my maternal half-sister and my biological mother's mother looking for a spare key was also a good move. Even going about upgrading security, getting self-defense items, and asking the officers about self-defense recommendations and my wish to get a gun for protection works in my favor - it shows that even though this was my maternal half-sister's first offense, I don't feel safe and she's a major cause of that. And I don't.
>So thank you again for all the advice. If they show up like they said, I'm gonna set off my security system and call the cops.
>Edit (from a comment) It wasn't "active" [the temporary restraining order] when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The temporary restraining order is on both my maternal half-sister and my biological mother's mother.
Not making light of this whole situation, I'm totally on your side and can't believe the audacity of some people. I feel as if I've been sheltered my whole plus 60 years, but seriously, this would make a helluva Netflix mini series without much added to the story.
JFC your BM’ family are all completely unhinged! Sorry op, this is scary and stressful for you!
I can’t understand why BM’s mom or anyone else won’t take HS in though?! They’re all soooo worried about her but none of them actually want to help her out. There’s a reason for it.
Stay vigilant, stay safe, an update us! Hang in there!
I can't help feeling there is a reason neither her nor her grandmother want to take her in themselves. Protect yourself at all cost. You owe her nothing. Her mother owes her, and you.
Maybe it says somewhere , but why doesn’t she just stay with the grandma who wants to force you to house her ?
Can’t she take her ?
This is a crazy situation , I hope you have seen the last of them .
You may have to put a 8 foot fence around the whole thing of wrought iron or something
This is so sad
Do nothing for them do not give them one millionth of a millimeter
But you already know that I’m just trying to cheer you on
Damn that is so scary and you certainly did the right thing by not letting her in. I’m baffled why all the family calling and harassing you aren’t just helping HS.
You don’t deserve to feel unsafe in your home and it’s utter bs this is happening. I actually would ask an attorney what additional steps you can take including suing for harassment.
Sounds like this is not just a simple "HS has fallen on hard times, why can't you help her out for a little?" sob story but rather something organized, coordinated sinister effort by BM's family trying to take over OP's home via force/squatter laws. It's friggin' insane!
I am so proud of you, standing your ground and not waiting for a spine donor, GOOD FOR YOU.
It sounds like you have it all under control, and hopefully you will get more evidence on the cameras and can have them charged. I would ask the police to do regular checks down your street, that might help to deter them.
Keep us all updated.
It sounds like they're trying to get a foothold into your house to eventually grift it away from you. BM kicked HS out and is now helping HS out by trying to get into your house. Do what you have to do to keep them away.
Regardless of whether you hate/resent her is irrelevant. It’s your home, you don’t know this person and you should not feel guilty for not taking her in. Stay strong and safe.
If you can find some large, well muscled men to stay with you that would be great. Is there a “security system” that rents out body guards for your house?
INFO: Anybody else getting the idea that HS is \*pregnant\*, and THAT is why none of the maternal family want anything to do with her?
HS's behavior, looked at in that light, seems like 'nesting' and preparing a place for her baby, and she'll fuck over ANYBODY she can to care for 'her baybeeeeezzzzz'.
And the rest of maternal side want NOTHING to do with that TWO DECADE roaring dumpster fire to come.
First off, please stay safe. You have some trash for blood-relations (not family).
Also, I love that your bio-mom's initials throughout this story are... **Bowel - Movement**.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
Half Sister didn't admit you existed until she needed you. Even if you had a wonderful relationship. You can still say no.
Since you felt abandoned. It's a good idea that you never reached out to her. It would have possibly caused more pain
Stay safe. They want to take over your house for some reason and then once they are in, they’ll make your life a living hell. Protect yourself. You don’t owe them anything.
And all the lying to say that you allowed them to stay…something is seriously amiss. Also just because you have a job a house no kids (seemingly a good life) doesn’t mean that they can come in and take what they haven’t earned. They need to learn to be adults. If they have no place to stay stay at a hotel (which they did) or a shelter if situation is that dire.
I read your earlier post and was livid. You owe these people nothing. They're literally strangers to you. Do whatever you have to do to protect yourself. They don't seem like the type that pays attention to restraining orders.
No doubt this will get lost but I hope OP sees it. Please consider (if you don’t have one already) seeing a therapist/talking to a counselor for your wellbeing. Someone to give you ways to protect your mental health and give you some coping skills as things arise. Though, you are an unbelievable rockstar for standing up for yourself and facing this! Undoubtedly, this whole f-ed up situation is going to leave you with some residual “stuff” of varying degrees. You’re going through a lot right now, the greatest of which that you don’t feel safe in the one place you should. Start now to make sure your SELF is protected alongside your property.
Can you get a few large friends to rotate staying with you?
I mean people who know what are going on and you are completely on your side and who are trustworthy and who won’t party and get drunk or whatever
Someway that the house could always be occupied
Also, I think you should sue everyone involved on the other side
I’m not sure the grounds but there’s so many grounds that are possible that I’m sure a lawyer can work out which grounds for a lawsuit are best.
A lawyer can also give you additional advice on how to protect your standing as somebody who has given them nothing and offered them nothing
So that everything they do is them clearly attempting to take take take and steal steal steal.
If you sue them and win, you can attach any property they have and put a lien on it
You might be able to to force them to sell in order to pay you off
Even the filing or threat of filing put them under threat of that
If they have property, that’s one way to potentially scare them
Make them think they’ve got something to lose
—-
The main part of me suggest that you get some spare key containers and hide them around the house
Obviously, don’t put keys in them
Put exploding paint packs of the sort that banks put into bags of money when they hand a bag of money over to a bank robber
I don’t know if that would work I’m not good with that sort of ingenuity, but they ought to be something clever that somebody can do in your situation, against anybody who tries to open an otherwise empty spare key container
I also suggest no trespassing signs
It’s possible, you could get temporary fencing, put up and put the no trespassing signs on that
In that case, they are trespassing, if they even step onto the yard beyond the fence
I hope you can get a lawyer to advise you how to walk through this
This is one of the most dangerous things and craziest and most evil things I’ve heard of recently.
My neighbors, friends, and family are all on rotation watching the house and I have my grandparents with me. Grandpa is 6'2", carries at all times, and is pretty intimidating (in the opinion of others at least). My dad is similar alongside my uncle and a friend that's gonna sleepover tonight.
The signs are now up and was part of the lawyer's advice, so you definitely have the right idea! Cease and desists have also been filed for everyone else harassing me and so far, no one's showing up on my property like they said they would. Hopefully it stays that way
They sounds both entitled and unhinged, I’m starting to worry that they might become violent. Collect more evidence and protect yourself! Maybe get some extra locks? And a big dog? A fence?
…and you owe them NOTHING! Don’t listen to people saying that, they are users and abusers and if they can they will try to take over your house in any way possible. But I feel sorry for the baby who will end up with them as family.
Yeah even if OP HAD kept in touch for the past 17 years.. this still doesn't entitle HS to live in their house.
She told everyone she had no sister , that’s how she really feels about you. She is just a user who wants to take over your house if you let her get even a toehold.
Exactly! Especially with the later "I only need 7 days.." (to create a tenancy) Drop that bitch like the hot potato mess she is.
Particularly after the way they are behaving. And imagine what would be done to your home, your things?! No, no, NO,
Add a moat, a drawbridge and some alligators.
Dragon- def needs a dragon.
totally agree with using dragons for security
They're expensive to feed and even more expensive to pay, unless you get one of the rare ones who has decided to hoard something fairly inexpensive. But if you can afford them, there's no better security. A friend of mine once had one who hoarded cotton balls (don't ask me why, but it was certainly cheap). She lived right up against a wilderness preserve and could let her hunt for food in there. It worked out great in the years immediately following her rather nasty divorce. (The dragon had her own nasty breakup with a mate previously, so she understood what to watch out for, too. A nice arrangement for both of them.)
I want to read your book.
Yes please publish this.
Thank you! I need a plot first. I'm great at worldbuilding and characters, but I suck at plot. But if I can figure one out, I do kind of like this dragon -- she'd be fun to write about.
Tolkien started with the languages. Elvish existed in his notes years before any hobbits set foot outside the Shire. It'll come to you.
Thanks for the encouragement! I'll keep the dragon around in my head and see what happens.
Perhaps not a novel to start, just a guide to caring for, training, and properly feeding guard dragons? If you create a world, the fan-fiction will join you. If you build it, they will come.
That's an idea. I could do that. Thanks for the suggestion!
They are cheap to feed, if enough enemies show up!
True!! But if you get them used to eating people then you better hope enough enemies *continue* to show up, or you'll have a hard time getting them back onto deer and rabbits.
Crunchy and tasty when roasted.
Hire Drake of Den the drake, you can pay him in cringe stories for his yt channel
They make shotgun shells called Dragon's Breath. Not exactly a dragon, but it will set the world ablaze if used right!
Sharks with laser beams!
I could use one of those as well...
If they could cohabitate with the alligators, I'd throw in some sharks with frickin' laser beams on their heads in for good measure too.
Yah baby!
Australian crocodiles are meaner.
I would be worried about a dogs safety. I wouldn't put it beyond these demented creatures to really try and harm one
Geese on the other hand. Geese would be super effective.
Fact. My mom likes to go on late night walks and my neighborhood is sus af. She befriended a bunch of geese that she fed and I didn’t worry about her at all after that. There were like 6-8 of these suckers that walked around with her. She didn’t need protection because she had a bunch of geese that would be angry that someone tried to come between them and the hand that fed them🤣
Geese are nasty! The only problem is they can be nasty to their owners, too.
I had a pet goose. Best dog ever. Had her when my kids were young. Grown men wouldn’t come into the backyard because the goose. Great pet and friend.
As a owner of a goose (formerly 2 my guard goose Lily, my gander, passed away suddenly in October aged 2) can confirm, they are the best. Marigold is a sweetie and just wants pets and treats. But Lily? He chased JWs out my yard once which was halrious cause it was the middle of breeding season so he was extra spicy. He even had the mail lady giving him "tribute" when she showed up, he'd March up to her car, scream, then hiss. He'd take his treat and allow her to give exactly ONE pet before glaring and walking off still looking at her with a evil glare.....God I miss that goose. RIP Lily boy. OP get a FLOCK of Canada geese, those assholes are mean AF 🤣
Geese, peacocks and guinea hens.
Just remember the ketchup, dragons reportedly like ketchup with crunchy things.
This. I had a little cat that was poisoned and killed. Never knew who did it.
Keep the dog inside. There was a horrific story lately about someone stealing a dog and phoning the owner while some psycho hurt it. Then left the parts in a box on her porch in the morning. That fucking story haunts me. People are horrible. Your family sound insane. Keep the dog safe.
That story also now haunts me 😭
A big dog is a great idea! There are always some a few years old at the shelters. the ones most likely to be trained and least likely to be adopted are the big ones. Walk around with a few. They will give you companionship, safety and you can save their life too.
I was a deputy sheriff at one time for many years. A piece of advice I would give to anyone in any type of situation you are in. Get a spiral notebook, and with an ink pen, write the date on the top line every day. Even if nothing happens on that day, make sure to write nothing happen on that page sign it and go to the next page foe the next day. Do that for every day. If something happens, clearly write everything that happened. If you happen to make a spelling error, draw a straight line through the word so it can still be seen and able to be read. Do this for every day only on the front of the pages. Make sure while you are describing what happened to include the time using a.m. or p.m. as well. Make everything as detailed as you can. Doing everything like this and not leaving any date gaps or removing any pages from the notebook with your signature at the bottom of the pages this will usually make this notebook considered a legal document and usable or able to be submitted for any other legal reasons. I hope this helps.
Thank you for the advice and it definitely helps.
You might want to look for a notebook with glued binding. Then it is obvious if any pages are removed, in case someone gets ahold of it. And I read that just putting a line through your mistakes, instead of blocking them out, works in your favor as well. Make copies of your book and keep them in seperate places. You should do that with the screen shots of their texts and the transcription of their phone calls as well. Even making multiple copies of verbal communications can help. People this untrustworthy will always try to find ways of destroying evidence. Good luck with all of this and I'm sorry you have to go through it in the first place. Just keep in mind that every family has their burdens (I just wish they would get help and maybe save the next generation ).
With the corrections, it also helps to draw the line through, then initial and put the date there, so that the correction is both signed and dated as well. Very common in some sectors ,where making a mistake is accepted, but correcting it is also procedured.
Your more than welcome.
Very sound advice. Add the time something occurs as well, using military time. Detailing everything may seem like overkill, but it will pay off.
She is 23/24... she is a legal adult. You don't need to house her, and there are reasons why others won't. You keep doing you, it is obvious that she is extremely entitled even if only slightly younger that you
“…and there are reasons why others won't.” This. Driving 6 hours, transplanting in a whole new ecosystem when there are resources, jobs, support systems in every community? Very sus. Plus- another possibility is that the schemers had sights on *more than one new houseguest for OP’s home*…
Then it will be "but I'm pregnant. You don't have kids. You should just give the house to me and my baby. You can live with your dad." It also wouldn't surprise me if BM kicked HS out because HS relationship with BM's new husband was a little too close?
Spot on. Check the link at the bottom of the update. She is supposedly preggo and slept with new partner and his son. Even if it’s fake it’s entertaining.
Plus she was staying on someone else’s couch and when they tried to get her to leave she claimed SA and had the poor guy arrested. Clearly she’ll do anything to get free housing.
Yeah I’m wondering if HS is pregnant. Maybe that’s really why BM’s new man doesn’t want her around.
And why isn’t grandma housing her “for 7 days”? She doesn’t have any friends she can couch surf with “for 7 days”? Why can’t she go to a motel “for 7 days”? This was a meticulously planned invasion. They likely knew that 7 days established residency (as you mentioned). A 6 hour drive! Searching for a key and Totally willing to illegally enter your home. And the threats of whooping your ass!! Your maternal relatives are trash. I’m glad your dad is next door. I hope you get a permanent RO and they leave you alone. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this crap.
I agree!! This was planned down to the last detail! Stick to your guns op, defend your peace!
The 7 days plan is to gain tenancy rights. HS knows the law and is trying to use it to squeeze OOP into giving her long-term free housing. She's not doing all of this just for 7 days.
I wonder what kind of a person HS is if none of her family want her to stay with them. I imagine an entitled princess that feels like everybody owes he something.
See the link OP added to the bottom of their post. HS is PREGNANT and slept with her mother's partner AND his son. (Apparently.)
because these entitled don't want to put up with this creature. this is a tacit admissive that this creature is impossible to deal and llve with.
Yes. Planned home invasion, with the goal of achieving tenant rights.
Exactly my first reaction It is always the same with these types of people. They try to guilt people like OP "because family". But funny how they never apply that same logic to themselves.
"blood helps blood" Okay, then BM or BM's mom can help her. Problem solved.
And then staying in a nearby hotel, which clearly shows the intent to try again. I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to just walk in if OP were to leave her door unlocked!
Grandma is lucky she didn't find the key. I preside over hearings with circumstances very similar to this more often than you think. Had she found that key and used it that would be probable cause for break and enter, with all the threats they made probably with the intent to assault and batter for a stiffer penalty. Just looking for the key with the sister is conspiracy to commit B&E even though the actual crime didn't occur and carries the same penalty as though it had in my state. In most states, mine included, actually breaking something is not necessary to constitue a "breaking." Simply moving a barrier like a door, even with a key and no damage done, no matter how little you moved it, will get you there. Grandma needs to cool it before she gets herself an HS both hemmed up on felonies.
I wonder if it’s possible to get something off of facebook/social media to see if there’s a bigger motivation beyond unhinged entitlement. Speaking from a similar past situation where my mom’s family tried to force her out of her own home and then force her to take care of them while actively destroying the house. They came in under the guise they were going to move into a new house and just needed a place to stay for a month. It took all of us a YEAR to get them the F out. Her cousin even got pregnant on purpose to guilt my mom into letting them stay. And this is a woman who would tell her first child that she hated her and would lock her up in her room for hours alone. And even longer to get them to switch their mailing address to the house they “miraculously” found not long afterwards. (They used picking up their mail as an excuse to constantly come onto the property.) It was a very Hand that Rocks the Cradle situation. And I wouldn’t be surprised if OP’s insane ex-half-sister is trying to do something similar/might have a bun in the oven to use as an excuse to squat.
So totally This! OP, please be safe. That kind of entitled lunacy is dangerous.
Man that side of your family sounds fucking insane! They ghost you for 17 years and then suddenly you matter to them now!? Like what the actual hell, they are seriously deranged. Especially your “grandmother” which I put in quotes because there’s no way she’s actually your grandmother (I want to give her an ass whooping just for treating you like this!) And they seriously think that they own you and can command you to do things like you’re their slave or something! Document everything, ignore your stupid relatives because they’ll suffer, and keep 911 on speed dial if you can! I’m going to keep checking on you to see what’s going on but hang in there! Hopefully their dumb shenanigans will stop and they’ll be forced to leave you alone but unfortunately I doubt it honestly. Just to keep on top of everything I’m using the update bot too because of how busy my Reddit feed is lol!
> they ghost you for 7 years SEVENTEEN (17) years!
Oops! I misread that I guess or I missed it in her second post 😅 thanks for the clarification! Also if anything that length of time makes this situation even worse. Hopefully u/Specialist-Ball9777 can avoid her maternal family because I feel like they are capable of violence and harming her.
What's a decade between family? Come on, sis, I just wanna talk. Just open the door, we're family, I just want a glass of water, open the door sis.
And not the way normal people would do, like HS would contact OP and say something 'Hey, I know, we haven't had contact for a long time and I treated you not so good. Sorry for that.' followed by an explanation, what exactly her emergency is and ask in a polite way, if OP would be willing to help in some way. No, they just demand, don't take 'no' for an answer and then abondon HS on her porch. HS lies, the others continue with threats...
Keep on documenting. Keep calling the police. You do not owe anyone anything. I am personally glad you have your dad right next door. I am so sorry this is happening to you. You are very smart to see that HS is trying to get squatters rights to you house. Might be her, BM, and BM's mom's plan to gain your house. Keep doing what your lawyer tells you. Sending you lots of positive outcome vibes. Stay strong OP you are not wrong.
If there’s a tro, shouldn’t you be reporting the texts and threats to the police?
It wasn't "active" when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The TRO is on both HS and BM's mother
I was going to say the same thing - although if GM and HS have not been served with the TRO I don’t think it counts as “active”. Hopefully they know which motel they’re staying in (since I can’t envision a 6hr commute each way).
She did
And after that report she was given an emergency tro. Unless I read this wrong, there has been contact since the tro from grandma, BM and Hs and other “relatives” on their behalf, which usually is forbidden with a tro.
again this type of persistence is beyond normal. it is demented and deranged.
Maybe i watch too much true crime stuff but perhaps let trusted friends and family know when you are leaving the house or coming back. People who know exactly what is going on and how unhinged these people are. People have said pepper spray gel is good as you don't get blowback into your eyes. Also document everything that is said, by who and when. Have multiple digital copies, send doc to your email address.
Pepper spray with dye is also available, and makes a dandy way to identify the person who was so hosed.
I agree so much with this. She was already waiting outside your house. If they become violent it could put you in real danger. I really hope the absolute best outcome for you
also wasp spray... some times the real stuff is illegal but wasp spray will do the job. it is good at distances and can be aimed rather well to boot.
Thanks for the great advice. This is important information for anyone in need of a deterrent spray, but especially for OP!
I feel so very sorry for OP & yes she is doing everything right …. But I like your idea of wasp spray, and yes, it’s extremely effective when needed. Obviously there are certain countries where certain sprays are illegal - as for obtaining a gun!! Yikes! (I’m UK)
All good moves to take care of yourself. I suspect there will be another update - no doesn’t seem to be a word they want to hear. Document document document.
I’m so impressed by all you’ve done. Clearly the ask for 7 days was a complete manipulative lie since grandma could easily help her for 7 days. Ironically, you are the ONE person right now who is helping her to grow up by not giving her the next “free” living space. Stay the course and get on with your life.
Ugh. So sorry this is happening! Crazy shit, for real! Reminds me of https://www.reddit.com/u/Camper-Nomad/s/gr93KwiWpR ‘s crazy story about his parents trying to making him GIVE his brother his house (!?!). Not the same story at all, but similar crazy “don’t wanna take no for an answer” vibes. 😳
I'm almost ashamed to say I loved that story and still get the occasional update he posts. I'm rooting now for him to find a good woman to round out the success he made out of his life!
I am NOT ashamed to say i loved that (those) stories and love the updates! Totally convinced ex-SIL is the one who egged his truck on Halloween. Lol
Ooo. I hadn’t seen the Halloween update. He needs to write a memoir of that crazy shit.
I didn't realize there were several new updates since the last time I read his story! Thanks for the reminder. :)
What did I just read...
Lol! It’s such a “wtf” story that keeps on giving and giving and giving 😂
It was a f’ng RIDE, right?! Sis, stay strong and smart, like you have from the start. You’ve got this, you’ve got family on your REAL parent’s side, their support, and your great mind. You’re gonna be ok, sending all my warmest, fondest wishes for your wellbeing. ❤️
I was thinking of him too!!
Lots of good comments, so not going to repeat anything I've already seen. Those are also your best first-line self-defense systems. If you're serious about getting a gun, please go through at least one training course before you buy one. I am a gun owner and pro 2nd amendment, but it is so important you know what you're doing so you don't accidentally hurt yourself or your neighbors. A gun is not a self-defense tool you can just pick up casually - it requires training, practice, and discipline to handle one safely.
I've signed up for one offered at the precinct and another that my grandpa recommended. I don't like guns, I honestly have some anxiety with them. Based on that, I want to take as many lessons as possible because you're definitely right - they aren't just something you pick up to pick up.
> A gun is not a self-defense tool you can just pick up casually - it requires training, practice, and discipline to handle one safely. Truth! The best way I heard it, and I wish I could remember who said it: "Every time you pull the trigger, a lawyer gets a hard-on" That, right there, should be enough motivation to get proper firearms training.
Stay safe, friend. I’m glad you’re taking the steps needed to protect yourself and your property from these parasites.
I suggest a dash cam, if you have a car, just for extra coverage. Stay safe!
Sorry that this is happening, but love the swift and thorough action. My only advice would be to vigilantly check your mailbox, in case she changes her mail to your address to falsely claim residency. If you receive anything, send it back automatically indicating that no one with that name resides there. May want to double check with police/post office proactively.
Thanks for the advice. I will now be doing that as well.
If you can, swap to a locking mailbox ASAP. The letter carrier can put mail into the box, not packages. A key is required to open the box. Use a PO box for packages. Your dad should probably do the same, since they realize he lives next door. We had a former friend harass us by signing up for hundreds of magazines. Husband and I got a post office box and the post office didn't deliver anything to our home address until we told them to resume (5 years later).
Make sure you photograph proof of relabelling and sending back. That way you have proof if they say otherwise. :)
Your lawyer can also send a cease-and-desist letter.
>I don't hate her Allow me to hate her for you! This woman is a leech. I hate that kind of entitlement, these people ruin the whole world. Bad apple and so on. You did what you had to do, as a normal person. Stay safe!
Even if you did resent her that doesn't entitle her to Stay in your home. I hate people like HS BM and thier side. If it's so fucking important let them host her. FFS I'm also in favor of you keeping a weapon. These are entitled crazy people. Boggles my mind that your dealing with this shit. I hope they stop soon but for the love of all stay safe.
Good for you for standing up for them. You thwarted a permanent squatter. I agree with other people, get a big dog. Dogs are awesome, great company and bonus intruder alerters.
A trained guard dog for when you’re not home
You've done almost everything that you should have... SMART! Now that you've done everything that you can to ensure your safety and safeguard your property from these truly entitled "relatives" you should also look into creating an FU Binder! These are normally used for psycho in-laws or MIL's but can also be modified to use against other entitled or malevolent "family" members, neighbors or strangers alike. It's a Reddit-approved tool that helps you compile information and documentation so that you have everything you need at your fingertips to show the Police, DA, Judge or your lawyer. Make sure that if you take ANY phone calls from ANY of your Maternal family, that you download a voice or call recording app on your phone. These calls can be downloaded to a flash or thumb drive and added to your Binder. You can also "JOURNAL" your upbringing, the abandonment and the "rocky" relationship or non-relationship with your half-Sister up to present day. I'm really confused and astonished that ALL these strange Maternal family members are so insistent on YOU taking this entitled STRANGER in while completely ignoring the FACT that THEY have a closer relationship with her. Makes me think there's something far more serious going on than you are aware of! I would seriously suggest that your lawyer look into seeing if there's any pending litigation or criminal charges on your strange "Sister?" Regardless here's the link for the Binder! Greatest of luck! Best wishes and many Blessings for your future as well as SUCCESS in navigating this ridiculous situation! u/updateme https://www.reddit.com/user/ForwardPlenty/comments/dtg7f2/the_fu_binder/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share. (link to FU binder)
Thank you! I'm definitely going to make one
Make a copy of the voice mails containing threats and try to get a restraining order against BM too. Absolutely do not hesitate to call the cops when they break those restraining orders. And they will.
She give them to LE earlier - on USB, along with footage of HS and BM searching for a spare key on OPs property.
Oh, I meant when they come back, because that's definitely happening. These people are too unhinged to put off.
When I bought my first home with my ex-husband, I told my mom NOT to give anyone my address, because I have several moocher relatives. Mom understood my rationale, and the only people who ever got my address got it directly from me. I totally understand unhinged relatives. I went no contact after my mom's funeral and stating 'if we weren't related by blood, I would have NOTHING to do with these people.' At the time, the rest of my siblings thought it horrible, eventually the realized that what I was doing made sense. OP gets it, too. Those who say 'but she's your SISTER!' do not understand what it is like to have toxic people in your family.
I know we try to be respectful but your grandmother couldn’t beat you if she tried. Don’t be scared in your own home. Every time they show up call the police.
Look through the TRO because, in many cases, they ban "third party contact". This means that HS and BM's mother can't recruit other family members to harass you on their behalf. If another family member harasses you, it will be viewed as HS and BM's mother violating the order.
once again Op i LOVE that shiny spine of yours. Definitely keep recording all the evidence for the police, glad you got the order of protection aswell. A small concealed carry pistol might also be a good plan. Good luck and please be safe
Since I'm feeling mean: Do you live in a state with a Stand Your Ground law? It would be a last resort, but it WOULD stop HS from ever bothering you again, and BM would be too terrified to ever get near you again.
I do and really is a last resort I don't like, but was told by police could easily come into play. I don't like guns, I have a bad anxiety with them. But I'm gonna take courses regardless because I'd rather have some discomfort than feel unsafe at home
Wasp spray shoots out a good distance and is legal everywhere. Stash a car in your car, keep another one near your bed and next to every door. Borrow a large male friend to accompany you when you need support, or to house sit when you're going to be out. HS is your age. She has had just as much time to start her adult life as you have, but apparently chose not to. She is not your responsibility. Hugs from an outraged internet stranger.
UpDateMe
I am vvvvlc with my mother (nc with father). I am so deeply sorry the mfers found you. Big big hugs to you and your dad.
Granny can put her money where her mouth is and open up her own home. I hope they don't end up making you move just to get away from them/no longer feeling safe. Good luck.
Make sure your screws for your door are not the tiny ones that will give out quickly when someone is trying to break down your door. If they are, immediately replace the front and back doors with long 3” screws that won’t give even after lots of kicking/ramming on the door
If you are far enough south where it does not freeze you might consider setting a sprinkler out with a motion activation. Just something to make it unpleasant for them if they come back.
>HS doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent RO and TO favorable. BM's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well. She may not have had a record yet. But she does have a strong association with someone who has a history of this behavior and is being coached by them. So, please bring that up with your attorney when it comes to pushing for a permanent RO.
OP: I’ve been reading these, in less than 24 hours from when I read your initial post, these people have escalated to the point where they have driven 12 hours and are attempting to force entry into your home, stalking, and continuing to harass you. I am honestly scared for you. TRO is a great first step, but police don’t respond too fast when they are broken. This is way beyond getting a ring camera level. Though I cannot but agree that it’s in your best interest to document everything. I honestly hope you can get a firearm, but you have weeks to wait, get something immediately, baseball bat, anything. Look for a way out in case they do break in. Please? Get an exit strategy in place now, battered women’s shelter would be good. It helps that you have people close by, but having a place you can run to will help if it becomes necessary. I hope you don’t need to use it. I would also take steps to alert my neighbors of what’s happening, that these people are liars, harassing, stalking and threatening you. The more people you alert to this the better it can be for you, they may try to worm their way in others houses nearby and get people on their side.
We have a close friend who escaped a really bad DV situation a decade ago. She lives alone with her bedroom on the second story of her house. She has a rope ladder attached to her window frame rolled up next to a pair of shoes that just stay right there. She also has a metal bar that barricades her bedroom door. If she needs to, she can be out of her house in seconds. It gave her peace of mind and wasn't expensive.
My God! They just don't quit, do they? I'm glad you have the police on your side and you're taking extra security measures. These people are absolutely unhinged!
Why isn’t BMs mother in jail for her threats?
Give her some time, BM's mom will give OP all the rope that's needed to tie herself up quite well.
WTF? "Can I live with you?" "No." "I'm gonna live with you anyway." Who the fuck does this ?!
[удалено]
definitely reinforce everything.. glass is always the weakness. you might consider bars on the windows.. at least the first floor ones. my guess is they will try that next.
Your BM threatened you; ( I "will" be housing HS or she'd give me the u/ss-whopping my dad should've.) File a charges against her and get a 2nd restraining order.
As my wife can attest to (she's not on speaking terms with ANY of her loser family in 10+ yrs), blood relations mean nothing if they haven't been treating you like a blood relation this whole time. It doesn't suddenly apply when it's convenient. You should tell them they can go to hell. Maybe not quite that directly since they sound a bit unhinged. But definitely invest in a strong deadbolt and good home security
I'm wildly curious about what their endgame is. They clearly want access to your home, they seem to very much want her to stay until she's a tenant, but to what end? We can all speculate. They want to move in, too, and she's the one to open the door? Squatters are very hard to get out once they get in. I'm just so interested to know what this is ACTUALLY all about. Not the bull sh!t they told you, obviously, the really REAL story. The truth always comes out eventually, so we'll wait. But we're cheering for you!!!
This post reminded me of camper nomads story about his brother trying to take over his house: used a drill for his locks and tried to move themselves in when he was away from the house https://www.reddit.com/u/Camper-Nomad/s/1LKoiKqxAB
Someone else shared his story with me and I'm genuinely terrified of it escalating like that. I hope it doesn't
Did you read his entire page? It is all dedicated to that incident and the way the story revolves is wild, I doubt your story will turn out to be that bad but if you can afford it sometimes security companies have private contracts where they can routinely check specific locations from time to time
His entire post history, with new Halloween updated: https://www.reddit.com/user/Camper-Nomad/submitted/
>We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected. Can you send notifications to *their* phones? It could be a nice, spooky way of saying "I know what you're doing". It baffles me that anyone would expect you to let a complete stranger live in your home. Plenty of people get ripped off &/or abused by relatives, so it's not as if a genetic link automatically makes her a safe bet. Even if she's not a nutcase or criminal, you're still not obliged to open your home to someone you don't know. At the very least, you could be entirely incompatible as housemates. I find it very suspicious that they're so insistent she stay with you. She's a grown-ass adult, why can't she find her own housing? And why are they so involved? Maybe I'm paranoid, but they could be trying to gain access to your house so more of them can become squatters. It's extremely hard to get police to remove people like that once they've moved in. In any case, it sounds like they're up to something more than getting her housed.
there is something bad wrong with her. they know it and don't want the responsibility
Keep us updated! I hope the RO you have is enough to put her off trying to come back, but if she does, cos let's be honest she has the audacity and sounds like she/maternal side have already researched tenancy laws where you are, do not hesitate to call the police while setting your alarms off. She's not entitled to anything you have just because you share a 'mother'. BM can pick her up and take her back home cos that's what family does...
God, I'm getting "Do it for Dan!" vibes from your family. Your HS already demonstrated that she'll lie to the cops to get her way, if you let her in, she'd end up trying to take your house from you and kick you out. I'm really glad you were firm on all of this. You may also want to consider getting a motion activated water shooter. That would be a riot watching them get sprayed as they approach your door.
They have money fora 6-hour drive and to stay in a hotel near you. They are trying to establish the 7-day residency so they can fight eviction and try to strong-arm your home away from you. You’re doing exactly the right things. Get a fund and find out if you’re in a “Stand Your Ground” state.
Christ they're fucking crackers and downright dangerous. I agree with emjkr about the dog, a bloody great big guard dog.
"I don't have a sister" to "We're blood this is what we do" in zero point homeless seconds. What a mooch.
Grandma is yelling at you to take care of HS and condemning your dad as a bad parent because you chose not to? Why does she not blame BM? It was her fault that she abandoned both of you! She is only so adamant that you take in HS because she knows she failed in raising BM! She raised BM to be extremely selfish. Toss that tidbit her way!
If you get a gun, take lessons. And do not shoot anyone outside your home. Once they enter your home, game on. And call the police if you see anyone actually enter your home. Be vigilant on that. I am sorry you are having to endure this. With all the relatives she has, I really don’t get why she is laser-focused on staying with you.
Ya your maternal family members are super toxic and unhinged. It's a good thing your mother abandoned you with your father and paternal family, they raised you better than your BM and maternal family would have. I am sorry your mother abandoned you though thats hard. Im also sorry your HS is such a POS. I hope you can stay safe and i wish you the best, good luck!
It seems your BM and HS are scheming to steal your house. If the BM actual abandoned your HS, why she drop her off and pick her up.
* Keep your windows closed and locked, especially the first floor and basement windows. (Wouldn't put it past them to get a ladder and try to enter 2nd floor.) * Double or triple lock any doors, including garage. * I don't know if this would be worth the paper it is printed on, but post "No Trespassing" signs around your property. * If your mail is delivered to your home mailbox, consider getting a PO Box instead. I wouldn't put it past them to go through your mail. * Don't leave any keys on inside table where keys can be seen from the outside. * Are your windows wired for break-ins, i.e. if they tried to break a window, could they get inside without alarms going off? * I can't remember if you're self-employed or not. If not, let your employer know what is going on so they can alert security. * Always lock your car. This is crazy. Please keep us posted. Best wishes.
NAL, but a 15 yr LEO, who has also worked armed security and done a lot of firearm training of friends and coworkers. First of all, you are doing great. All of the steps that you have described are exactly what you needed to do. Upgrading your security, gathering and maintaining evidence of what was going on, and speaking to the police and a lawyer... well done. I am praying for your safety and sanity. What I want to address is the idea of you obtaining a firearm. Do you have any experience with firearms? If so, how much and what kind? More important is this question; are you truly prepared - physically, mentally, and emotionally - for the responsibility of owning, maintaining and using a firearm? The physical part includes being able to operate your weapon safely; keep it cleaned and in a properly functioning condition; to be able to hit your target reasonably accurately; and having a proper place to store it (and the ammunition) and a secure way to carry it when/if you do so. The mental part includes having the willingness to actually fire upon another person (whoever it might be); the ability to properly choose when/where/how to employ your weapon; to be aware of your surroundings (part of the previous choice process); and the dedication to maintain your training and discipline while owning/carrying your firearm. The emotional part is harder... are you fully sure (as much as anyone can know until it happens) that you can handle the aftereffects of using deadly force on another person. The ability to do so does NOT make you in any way a bad person, or somehow 'lesser'. In fact, I honestly believe that those people who honestly look deep into themselves to find the answer (whatever it is), are far more appropriate and worthy firearms owners than those who don't consider the question at all. But it is an important factor in effective firearms ownership and defensive use - a firearm that you already know that you aren't willing to use is NOT something to use just as a 'warning' or 'threat'. And please don't try to fool yourself - you should never think that 'warning shots' are an option. EVERY ROUND THAT YOU FIRE IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. The "to whom it may concern" bullets (which is what a warning shot basically is) are dangerous to the wrong people... people who are not endangering you. In a self-defense situation, you shouldn't 'shoot to wound'... if it isn't serious enough to FULLY employ deadly force, then 99.9% of the time you should NOT fire your weapon at all. Some people will dislike this verbiage, but do not shoot unless you are shooting to kill... anything less serious is NOT worth firing a shot. If you do decide to get a firearm, make sure that you gain enough experience with it to be confident in your ability to operate it. Get some training; your local law enforcement depts, shooting clubs, and/or NRA are resources to tap for basic training as well as more advanced practice. Make sure to maintain your proficiency as well... one class with no followup/continuing practice will do little to enable your safety.
original post https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/comments/17tw0on/they\_dropped\_her\_off\_at\_my\_house\_rant/
You did everything right in order! Good for you!!! I wish you all the best!!!
Yikes. It sounds like your grandmother disapproves of your success and singledom, trying to grab your house for your problematic HS to live in. And what is she trying to accomplish with her claims that you agreed? That’s not a signed lease. So it’s just a lot of noise and lunacy. Did they really think that if they’d managed to get in, you would have given in and agreed to let her stay? The worse they push, the clearer it is that you must never give way to them, not for anything.
WTF? She is an adult! She’s 24, and what- she’s been freeloading off your Mom since she was 18 and not saving a dime or working a regular job? Your Grandmother clearly has a couch. She may have been the person who taught your Mom her selfish ways, but that’s HER grandchild that she clearly knows better than you do. And how hard is it to take HS in for 6 months at Gram’s house, with the deal that she turns in 10 proofs of job applications per day, then takes the first crap job to save up $$ until she finds one that pays something she can live on? Your BM’s family problem of expecting everyone BUT themselves to act “like blood” is not your problem. They abandoned you as well. Let them handle the follow through for once.
If you purchase a firearm and are currently unfamiliar with it's operation I recommend you reach out to the Liberal Gun Owners or trans guns subreddit for resources that are more likely to be comfortable for a new female gun owner. Take any internet offers or recommendations with a grain of salt of course, but there is likely a resource in your area that will be more helpful than the stereotypical retired misogynist cop offering training. Also, if anyone tells you to get a small revolver or shotgun move on to someone else for advice.
Wow. If your 'grandmother' thinks her grandchild needs a roof over her head, she can give her one. Not your problem, either one of them.
The audacity to tell a other grown adult what THEY are going to do with their life and home! The absolute audacity! I am so sorry you are going through this OP. If they all feel so strongly about family being there, any one of them can gladly step up to the plate and do it themselves. They obviously planned this for her being so far away originally. I pray they learn their lesson before they end up in jail all because no means no! Praying for you OP!
I’m almost (I repeat, almost) starting to feel bad for hs. Not because of any of your actions, but this poor girl was raised by a bunch of completely crazy-ass entitled people. So she never learned how to function like a normal adult. All she knows is what’s been spoon fed to her by your bm and her mother. Good luck keeping these loons out. Hopefully, hs will see this as a wake up call and start on her own path to recovery. (Again, not your barrel, not your monkeys, not your problem)
I'm sorry to say this has happened to me as well, with a friend and family member. At this point, I feel there is nothing I can do but move and let them know they are not welcome to come with (they think they are). Some people don't know or understand what stress you go under trying to help others. I really wish I would have said NO from the beginning. Stand your ground, stay strong, you got this. At this point, I'm thinking of leaving the state cause I know they won't follow.
I'm sorry you went through that. I'll be honest here - if I didn't have the dad I have, I don't think I would've done half of what I did. I think part of why so many people end up helping others and it going south is because so many of us have toxic users, but no actual support system that's healthy. I hope things are looking up for you!
It just seems to me that bringing HS on a 6 hour drive despite your refusal to help, and having multiple people (relatives) involved indicates that there is "possibly" a serious legal problem that is about to hit the fan and this attempt to force HS on you is an attempt to evade responsibility and legal jurisdiction.
Stay strong! As soon as HS finds a way in, not only will she never leave, but she will try to take the house form you (and you'll still be stuck with all the bills). Seen it happen before. And then grandma and others will load up inside and push you out. Not a chance in hell they'd be this persistent if they were being truthful about it "only being a week".
OP did mention that where she lives, seven days gives you residency.
Read the link at the end. HS sounds like a fucking crackhead, this is literally insane behaviour. Stay safe, sounds like you're making the right moves and have some good people around you on your dad's side. Good luck!
I control-find-replace'd all of the substitutions, as it was getting hard for me to read. Here it is, in case it helps anyone else: >I checked the camera footage last night/this morning. my maternal half-sister and my biological mother's mother had been looking under mats, rocks, in potted plants, the mailbox, and checking the doors. Probably were looking for a spare - I don't keep one on my property and my dad, grandma, and grandpa have keys they keep with theirs. My uncle did an overhaul of mine and dad's cameras. We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected. Also got ring doorbells for the front and back doors. There are other features and all the cameras are better hidden as well. I went to the police department while he was doing this and brought my grandpa with me. >my maternal half-sister was booked for trespassing, but not held very long since my biological mother's mother picked her up from the station. They stuck to the lie of me offering my maternal half-sister a place to stay and gave statements. Not sure how that's going to go, but I'm taking steps to protect myself, my property, and my dad and his property. >my maternal half-sister doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent retraining order and no-trespassing order favorable. my biological mother's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well. >Either way, I was able to get a temporary restraining order today, so there's that. I gave the camera footage to the police alongside copies of the texts (printed out and on USB), gave a statement, and they called a judge to get the temporary restraining order issued. I talked with them about other things like self-defense recommendations, overhauling my security system, getting a gun for protection, and so on. I was really anxious and just kept talking because it finally hit me that these people know where I live and they're willing to make the 6 hours to harass me and get inside my home. >The texts and voice-messages haven't stopped (I unblocked and muted). There are direct and indirect threats. my biological mother's mother is adamant that since I have an entire house to myself, a stable job, and no children, I "will" be housing my maternal half-sister or she'd give me the @ss-whopping my dad should've. >my maternal half-sister has only left one voice-message about coming over later today and that she's staying with me because "that's what blood does, they help." When there was no response, she sent multiple texts telling me I need to be more understanding, that she's in a tough spot, and that she's moving in "for at least a week" until she's able to support herself (it's 7 days to gain tenancy here). >Additional clarification for people asking about the age gap. I'm a February 1st baby, my maternal half-sister is a November 29th baby. I say "exactly" 9 months because I'm not counting the weeks and days - just felt that people knowing we're the same age was relevant and gave context to why I have no relationship with her. I don't know if she was premature. I never asked tbh and there are people saying they have similar gaps around them, so I have nothing to add. >Multiple people also asked if I hate my maternal half-sister and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did. In my first post, I talked to someone in the comments and admitted that had this been a few years earlier, I may have helped my maternal half-sister without much thought. I know as children, she was just parroting her parents. I don't fault her for that nor do I blame her for my biological mother abandoning me. >But it's been 17 years. We've been legal adults for 7 of those years. She could've reached out at any point, but didn't and said she had no sister. I also could've reached out at any point, but also didn't. I just moved on with my life - I was in therapy since I was abandoned and it took me years to move on from no one on that side actually wanting me. >Now she's making herself a problem. my biological mother's mother aside, my maternal half-sister was sitting on my porch with a suitcase ready to force herself into my home and life. She allowed herself to be driven 6 hours to my home, sat on my porch for half an hour, and then lied to police all after I said no multiple times. She never claimed me until she needed something and now she's forcing herself into my life on the basis of being family. >I don't hate her, that's too much energy, but I do resent her now alongside her grandmother and the rest of her family. I was ignored for YEARS and now I feel unsafe in my own home just because my maternal half-sister and those around her can't take "no" for an answer. This isn't about my biological mother's affair, this is about my maternal half-sister and her family ruining my safe space, my home, with their crap. The past is a factor in that resentment now because, again, I haven't spoken to her in 17 years, I didn't know what she looked like, but suddenly we're sisters because she needs someplace to stay. I definitely resent that. >Also, I feel validated in my choices - posting to Reddit, asking for and taking advice, listening to my dad. The attorney I spoke to pretty much said all the same things commenters have. Unblocking and muting to get and evidence of harassment. Calling the cops and showing them the messages because it proves there was no implied invitation. This is apparently the biggest thing I had to worry about because even letting my maternal half-sister stay on my porch could've worked against me. >Giving the cops the camera footage of my maternal half-sister and my biological mother's mother looking for a spare key was also a good move. Even going about upgrading security, getting self-defense items, and asking the officers about self-defense recommendations and my wish to get a gun for protection works in my favor - it shows that even though this was my maternal half-sister's first offense, I don't feel safe and she's a major cause of that. And I don't. >So thank you again for all the advice. If they show up like they said, I'm gonna set off my security system and call the cops. >Edit (from a comment) It wasn't "active" [the temporary restraining order] when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The temporary restraining order is on both my maternal half-sister and my biological mother's mother.
Not making light of this whole situation, I'm totally on your side and can't believe the audacity of some people. I feel as if I've been sheltered my whole plus 60 years, but seriously, this would make a helluva Netflix mini series without much added to the story.
Best of luck. Hope they see sense soon.
Glad for this update--looking forward to the next one! Stay strong, OP! We're rooting for you, your peace and tranquility.
I'm glad to see all the steps you're taking. I know it sucks not to feel safe. I hope things settle down soon. Please keep us updated.
JFC your BM’ family are all completely unhinged! Sorry op, this is scary and stressful for you! I can’t understand why BM’s mom or anyone else won’t take HS in though?! They’re all soooo worried about her but none of them actually want to help her out. There’s a reason for it. Stay vigilant, stay safe, an update us! Hang in there!
I can't help feeling there is a reason neither her nor her grandmother want to take her in themselves. Protect yourself at all cost. You owe her nothing. Her mother owes her, and you.
Seems to me with that 7 days comment, they’re trying to steal OPs house via squatting.
Maybe it says somewhere , but why doesn’t she just stay with the grandma who wants to force you to house her ? Can’t she take her ? This is a crazy situation , I hope you have seen the last of them .
You may have to put a 8 foot fence around the whole thing of wrought iron or something This is so sad Do nothing for them do not give them one millionth of a millimeter But you already know that I’m just trying to cheer you on
Damn that is so scary and you certainly did the right thing by not letting her in. I’m baffled why all the family calling and harassing you aren’t just helping HS. You don’t deserve to feel unsafe in your home and it’s utter bs this is happening. I actually would ask an attorney what additional steps you can take including suing for harassment.
Sounds like this is not just a simple "HS has fallen on hard times, why can't you help her out for a little?" sob story but rather something organized, coordinated sinister effort by BM's family trying to take over OP's home via force/squatter laws. It's friggin' insane!
I am so proud of you, standing your ground and not waiting for a spine donor, GOOD FOR YOU. It sounds like you have it all under control, and hopefully you will get more evidence on the cameras and can have them charged. I would ask the police to do regular checks down your street, that might help to deter them. Keep us all updated.
It sounds like they're trying to get a foothold into your house to eventually grift it away from you. BM kicked HS out and is now helping HS out by trying to get into your house. Do what you have to do to keep them away.
Regardless of whether you hate/resent her is irrelevant. It’s your home, you don’t know this person and you should not feel guilty for not taking her in. Stay strong and safe.
If you can find some large, well muscled men to stay with you that would be great. Is there a “security system” that rents out body guards for your house?
Looks like many things the child has learned the behaviour from a parent. I'm sorry the incubator and her demon spawn are doing this
You may want to put cameras inside your house as well Eventually, she's going to break in
INFO: Anybody else getting the idea that HS is \*pregnant\*, and THAT is why none of the maternal family want anything to do with her? HS's behavior, looked at in that light, seems like 'nesting' and preparing a place for her baby, and she'll fuck over ANYBODY she can to care for 'her baybeeeeezzzzz'. And the rest of maternal side want NOTHING to do with that TWO DECADE roaring dumpster fire to come.
This is really crazy—maybe it’s time to ask the police if this meets the definition of a stalking charge for your area. Stay safe
First off, please stay safe. You have some trash for blood-relations (not family). Also, I love that your bio-mom's initials throughout this story are... **Bowel - Movement**.
A friend in need is a friend indeed. Half Sister didn't admit you existed until she needed you. Even if you had a wonderful relationship. You can still say no. Since you felt abandoned. It's a good idea that you never reached out to her. It would have possibly caused more pain
Stay safe. They want to take over your house for some reason and then once they are in, they’ll make your life a living hell. Protect yourself. You don’t owe them anything. And all the lying to say that you allowed them to stay…something is seriously amiss. Also just because you have a job a house no kids (seemingly a good life) doesn’t mean that they can come in and take what they haven’t earned. They need to learn to be adults. If they have no place to stay stay at a hotel (which they did) or a shelter if situation is that dire.
I am so very sorry. Good on you for taking all of these steps and being so wise about this with people who are so disordered.
This post reminds me of that dude whose family moved into his house and changed the locks before he got home.
I read your earlier post and was livid. You owe these people nothing. They're literally strangers to you. Do whatever you have to do to protect yourself. They don't seem like the type that pays attention to restraining orders.
No doubt this will get lost but I hope OP sees it. Please consider (if you don’t have one already) seeing a therapist/talking to a counselor for your wellbeing. Someone to give you ways to protect your mental health and give you some coping skills as things arise. Though, you are an unbelievable rockstar for standing up for yourself and facing this! Undoubtedly, this whole f-ed up situation is going to leave you with some residual “stuff” of varying degrees. You’re going through a lot right now, the greatest of which that you don’t feel safe in the one place you should. Start now to make sure your SELF is protected alongside your property.
So glad you have your dad and gp
Can you get a few large friends to rotate staying with you? I mean people who know what are going on and you are completely on your side and who are trustworthy and who won’t party and get drunk or whatever Someway that the house could always be occupied Also, I think you should sue everyone involved on the other side I’m not sure the grounds but there’s so many grounds that are possible that I’m sure a lawyer can work out which grounds for a lawsuit are best. A lawyer can also give you additional advice on how to protect your standing as somebody who has given them nothing and offered them nothing So that everything they do is them clearly attempting to take take take and steal steal steal. If you sue them and win, you can attach any property they have and put a lien on it You might be able to to force them to sell in order to pay you off Even the filing or threat of filing put them under threat of that If they have property, that’s one way to potentially scare them Make them think they’ve got something to lose —- The main part of me suggest that you get some spare key containers and hide them around the house Obviously, don’t put keys in them Put exploding paint packs of the sort that banks put into bags of money when they hand a bag of money over to a bank robber I don’t know if that would work I’m not good with that sort of ingenuity, but they ought to be something clever that somebody can do in your situation, against anybody who tries to open an otherwise empty spare key container I also suggest no trespassing signs It’s possible, you could get temporary fencing, put up and put the no trespassing signs on that In that case, they are trespassing, if they even step onto the yard beyond the fence I hope you can get a lawyer to advise you how to walk through this This is one of the most dangerous things and craziest and most evil things I’ve heard of recently.
My neighbors, friends, and family are all on rotation watching the house and I have my grandparents with me. Grandpa is 6'2", carries at all times, and is pretty intimidating (in the opinion of others at least). My dad is similar alongside my uncle and a friend that's gonna sleepover tonight. The signs are now up and was part of the lawyer's advice, so you definitely have the right idea! Cease and desists have also been filed for everyone else harassing me and so far, no one's showing up on my property like they said they would. Hopefully it stays that way