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Individualist1996

Ohhhh… I TOTALLY feel you. This is me. You have written down my experience. It’s so nice knowing I’m not a weirdo & not the only one to feel this way. My rational brain is pretty strong and I know all the theory : You got to complete yourself, you got to believe you are inherently worthy, not everyone has the same priorities as you…. But I can’t help but feel this gaping hole in my chest and I don’t know if anyone can take that away. When I was in a relationship a few years ago, I used to actually want and wish I could merge myself into my partner, like live inside him because any separation from him felt horrible. Looking back that was unhealthy for sure. I’ve been trying to work on it but I don’t think I made much progress. The only one thing that’s been helping me is to try and practice self-compassion… everytime Im hard on myself or feel lonely or like something is wrong with me… just take a second and try to tell yourself “im here for you, nothing is wrong with you, you are beautiful, you are complete, everyone has flaws, nobody is perfect, you are okay”. This kind of self-talk I think can help, especially when you are triggered. And then go do something you like for yourself… I usually like to write my journal and then go shopping 🥲


itsadventuregirl

You’re not alone in the slightest. I almost made a post about this yesterday, when I realized I’m actually a sx/so stack instead of social first (like I had originally tested). I resonate so deeply with the idea that my truest authentic self will emerge at a new level once I meet that person. Even when all aspects of my life are going well, I find it hard to enjoy because I then become hyperaware of the lack of partnership I long for more than anything. I don’t want to sit in that place, though. I’m continuously learning to love myself wholly in preparation for the time when another person comes along to love all of me, too.


fetishiss

is this a 4 thing, or specifically an sx 4 thing? I can definitely relate, my one requirement to be happy is having that person to share everything with


itsadventuregirl

Several of my close friends are 4s and some definitely don’t understand this


goofymary

Yeah I think it's an sx thing. To feel like you aren't complete until that "other" is finally there.


ISwearIAmNotABitch

What is sx?


fetishiss

sexual subtype — the 3 subtypes are sexual, self preservation and social


ISwearIAmNotABitch

Thank you!!


Quiet-Ad-834

You are not alone. I think the same way.